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Carmilla looked at the underside of her wrist with shock. She thought it would never happen, had even already given up the thought. She was relieved that eventhough everyone around her had it happen to them, she was left alone. But there, making her skin tingle and itch, words started to appear slowly. They were curved and looked so graceful that it appeared to Carmilla as if they wanted to spit her right in the face. Afterall these words weren’t happy words. It wasn’t something as good as the first words ever spoken to you by your soulmate. No. Life isn’t fair. Carmilla learned that the hard way when both her parents got murdered at a ball while she was the only one surviving because Mother turned her into a Vampire. No, written on her wrist was the exact opposite….it were the last words Carmilla would ever hear out of her soulmates mouth.
She couldn’t bear the thought of knowing those words….not yet. So she quickly looked away, hiding the words that haven’t fully appeared yet under her clothes. Carmilla never dared to look at them and she also never mentioned anything about it to Mother. She wouldn’t even dream about telling Mother something that would give her even more power over Carmilla than she already had. So she hid it, always paying attention that the words were covered.
One day she broke the unspoken promise she had with herself to never look at those words. It was after she got out of the coffin. Having spent years and years in it, filled up with the blood of the only person she ever loved. Filled up with the blood of Ell whose last words haunted her every day that she spent inside the dark coffin. Carmilla teared up, not because she was finally free of the dark and narrow prison. She teared up because she was at fault for Ell’s death. Her soulmates death.
Ell was right with the last words she said to Carmilla, she was a monster. A monster you could only defy and loath. Carmilla hated herself, hated that she had to drink the blood of the person she loved because of her nature, hated every single fiber in her body.
So she looked, looked at the words on the underside of her wrist that would say “You are a monster!” The words that would send a new wave of pain throughout her whole body. She deserved it. But when she pushed up her sleeve, she didn’t see the expected words. There on her skin she could make out other words instead. Something that Ell definitely didn’t say. No, it can’t be! Carmilla loved Ell, loved her like no one ever before. She had to be her soulmate, it can’t be….but it was true. The proof was permanently etched into her skin.
Ell wasn’t her soulmate, has never been. It should have made Carmilla feel better, but it didn’t. She spent too much time with Ell’s blood surrounding her in that coffin. Ell didn’t deserve this, no matter if soulmate or not, no matter what she thought of Carmilla or not. Mother hasn’t had the right to kill her.
Carmilla lay in her bed reading when Laura opened the dormroom’s door, walking towards her side of the room and falling onto her bed with a loud sigh. Laura. Carmilla met the tiny ball of cuteness that also happened to be her girlfriend for the first time when she came through the same door half a year ago, answering with “I’m your new roommate, sweetheart.” to Laura’s question of who she even was.
The blonde sighed again and Carmilla looked over the top of her book towards Laura’s bed. “I will probably regret this but what is wrong, cupcake?” “It’s nothing….just...I’m really tired and Danny and Kirsch wouldn’t stop fighting and I have this paper due to next week and I really don’t feel like doing anything right now cause I’m just really exhausted and I’m rambling, aren’t I?” “Yes cupcake you are.” “Urgh, I’m sorry.” Laura pushed her head into her pillow. “Hey, hey, hey Laura.” Carmilla stood up and walked towards Laura’s bed, sitting down beside her. “It’s ok, I love it when you ramble, cupcake.” “Carmilla Karnstein. Did you really just say that? You’re such a romantic sometimes, Carm.” “Oh, shut up.” Laura started giggling and Carmilla just watched her, a smile forming on her lips.
She brushed some hairs out of Laura’s face and tucked them behind her ear, brushing her thumb over her cheek. Laura blushed. She looks breathtaking. Carmilla still couldn’t understand how this tiny loving human was hers. Couldn’t understand how she deserved her with all the bad things she has done in the past, handing over girls every 20 years to Mother just to name one thing. But here Laura was, leaning into her touch and looking at her with those warm and loving brown eyes, like she is the only person on this planet. “Come lie down with me” Laura whispered. Carmilla’s heartbeat increased. She will be the death of me.
The blonde scooted over and Carmilla lied down beside her, foreheads touching. Laura’s eyes closed and she let out a yawn. “You know….we could go on a trip tomorrow, go hiking or something. You know, to get you out of here for a day.” Suddenly Laura was full of energy again. “I would love to! That’s so sweet of you, Carm!” “I’m not sweet. I’m the night, fear me!” Laura let out a full-throated laugh this time, turning into a giggle till she just contently smiled at Carmilla. The black haired bent forward and kissed Laura’s forehead, slowly combing through the blonde’s hair. Laura closed her eyes again and quietly murmured “Carm, you’re the best.” “Everything for you, cutie.” Seeing the big smile on Laura’s face when she said that made Carmilla’s mouth form one aswell. After a while of just silently starring at her beautiful girlfriend, Carmilla whispered “Laura, just what are you doing to me?” But Laura didn’t hear her anymore, her breathing slow and even indicating that she fell asleep. “Sweet dreams, cupcake.”
“Caaaaarm, get up! We will never get up that mountain if you keep sleeping all day!” “nooo, just a bit more, Laura” said Carmilla groggily. With a smirk on her face Laura came closer to Carmilla’s bed. “Fine, if you don’t want to then I just have to convince you” and with that jumped on top of Carmilla and started to tickle her. “Laura! “ The black haired yelped. “Stop, stop, stop Laura, stop! I give up! Laura, I give up!” Laura had a big grin on her face and giggled. “Knew it!” Carmilla groaned which made the blonde just giggle even more. God, she’s so beautiful.
“You know sundance, I like this view way more than any mountain view and this position is quiet promising.” Carmilla smirked her signature smirk and Laura blushed furiously. The dark haired loved how she could still embarrass the tiny girl so easily. “Oh god! I’m so sorry I’m just gonna-“ but Carmilla already lifted herself upwards and connected their lips, effectively shutting up Laura. The kiss was slow and sweet, Laura leaned down to bring their bodies closer together. Both started to smile into kiss, and Laura leaned back slightly, lips hovering over Carmilla’s, locking eyes. “As much as I enjoy this and believe me I really do, but we got a mountain waiting for us and we really have to drive there now. I promise I will make it worth your while, Carm.” “Fiiiiine” grunted Carmilla. “But you will have to make it up to me later for waking me up at such an ungodly hour of the day” drawled Carmilla and winked. Laura blushed again but then jumped up with a squeal making Carmilla roll her eyes and smile.
They were in the car with the music volume turned up high. Carmilla took a glance to the right where Laura danced ridiculously to whatever song was playing right now. God, why is this tiny dork just so adorable. When Carmilla stopped the car at a traffic light Laura suddenly talked “Hey Carm…” “Yes cutie?” “Uhm…I just wanted to thank you again….you know, for taking me out and…” she bit down on her lip smiling “for just being you.” She turned towards the black haired, genuine smile on her lips and her eyes sparkling. Something in Carmilla’s stomach twitched. She was definitely falling more and more for her human every day. She couldn’t imagine a life without her, without her smile, without her cute rambling or the bunched up face she makes whenever she’s angry. She couldn’t imagine a life without the light that is Laura and that seemed to make her a better Vampire.
Laura was the best thing that ever happened in her life. God dammit, I just love her so much. “No reason to thank me Laura, you deserve it…you deserve everything.” The traffic light changed to green and Carmilla slowly started driving again “Carm” the blonde laid her hand above Carmilla’s “you deserve it too! I know you still think you’re some kind of monster and that you can never be forgiven for the things you did but I forgive you! And I think you are the most amazing and loving girl.” It took a moment for Carmilla to process what Laura just said. She turned her head towards the blonde. “Carm, you ar-“ In the corner of her eye Carmilla saw something rapidly approaching but it was already too late. The only thing she heard afterwards was a loud sound like she just hit a concrete wall and the shattering of glasses alongside screams. Then she lost consciousness.
Carmilla groaned, lifting her hand towards her head but paused when she noticed the glass that fell down because of her movement. SHIT! Laura! Where is Laura?! Carmilla looked to the right and there she was, blood running down the side of her face and cuts everywhere. Laura! Carmilla frantically tried to free herself from the wrecked car in order to get to Laura but her foot was stuck. Shit! Shit! Shit! Carmilla pulled at her foot and she was finally able to free herself. Laura! She winded herself through the window and limped towards Laura’s side of the car. The door was missing, it must have been teared off when the truck crashed into their car. Carmilla crouched down and reached with trembling hands for Laura, taking her into her arms and slowly lifting her out of the car.
She lied her down on the road, stroking the hair out her face, still trembling. “Laura, Laura speak to me! Laura!” Carmilla felt tears forming in her eyes. This can’t be! This can’t be happening! Just a few minutes ago they were talking. They were on their way to have fun! “Carm…” it was barely hearable but Carmilla heard it nonetheless. “Laura! I’m here, it will be alright, everything will be alright Laura, I promise!” Carmilla chocked back sobs, trying to stay strong for Laura. “Carm…I…” Laura broke into a coughing fit. “Pssst pssst Laura, don’t speak, it will be alright.” Carmilla stroked Laura’s hair with shaking hands, forced smile on her lips and tears in her eyes. “No….Carm…let me finish…my sentence…” Laura voice was weak and strained, but she smiled up at Carmilla, it didn’t quiet reach her eyes though.
“Carm…you are amazing…and I love you so much…I want you to be happy…when I’m gone…you deserve it…you deserve…it so much” Carmilla couldn’t hold back her sobs anymore. “Laura don’t say that, everything will be alright, please Laura!” Laura slowly reached with her right hand upwards, cuping Carmilla’s face and stroking it with her thumb. Carmilla grabbed her hand, holding it in place. “Carmilla Karnstein…I love you so much…you” More coughs overcame the tiny human. “Carm…you aren’t a monster…”
And then Carmilla felt how the hand in hers got weak, how the life slowly drifted out of the tiny human that she loved so much. “Laura! NO! You can’t go Laura! I need you! Laura!” Carmilla’s body rocked from the heavy sobs that overcame her. She held onto Laura’s hand for dear life. While tears were streaming down her face, she remembered the words that were etched onto her wrist forever. Those damned words that were everything she ever wanted to hear but at the same time hoped to never have to hear because it would mean that she lost her soulmate. How ironic that Laura’s last words were the exact opposite of what Ell said back then. Laura. And then it dawned on Carmilla. She would never have anyone again that accepted her like Laura did, would never have anyone again that loved her like Laura did, would never have…..a soulmate again.
And in that instant Carmilla’s world shattered.