Choices and Decisions

Carefully sliding out of the bed Ezra pulled on a pair of worn jeans and a T-shirt. Not his normal attire but it hardly mattered. He was leaving. Opening his closet he started packing, paying no real attention to what was going in the bag. It had been his intention to leave the night before but Chris had shown up on his doorstep, tired and in pain, and he hadn't been able to resist.

He never could, when Chris showed up as his lover and not his boss. He had gotten the man settled into the bed and slipped in with him, hand combing through blond hair until Chris had fallen asleep. There had been no sleep for him. He had stayed up through the night, hoping against hope that Chris would wake and that their relationship would become real, that he could stop being the other person.

Moving to his dresser he froze when he heard Chris shift in the bed. Knowing he wouldn't be able to leave if Chris woke he paused, glad when the man settled back down with a snore. Luckily when Chris was injured, the painkillers and his need for sleep to heal destroyed his tendency to sleep lightly. He picked the folded piece of paper up off the top of the dresser and placed it on the table next to the bed where Chris would see it when he woke.

It was just a courtesy to his team leader. Everything had been cleared with Assistant Director Travis who had cleared his leave of absence in record time and hadn’t asked too many questions. The man knew something was going on but respected Team 7 to much to dig into their private problems.

Going into the bathroom Ezra filled a glass with water and got Chris’ medications sorted out, setting everything down next to the paper. Just because he couldn’t stand to be around Chris at the moment it didn’t mean he wanted the man to be in pain when he woke.

With a soft touch he brushed Chris’ hair back, trying to remember when his life had gotten so twisted and out of control. He had always prided himself on having a clear direction on his life but it all had gone out of the window when the irritating, stubborn man in his bed had pulled him out of the hellhole that had become his life in Atlanta.

And things had only gotten more out of control after that, when he and Chris had ended up in his townhouse and bed. He couldn’t remember exactly how they had gotten there, his only clear memory of the night being when Chris had penetrated him, surprisingly gentle.

Their relationship had continued from there, far from normal. They didn’t date and the only time they were ever in public together was when the entire team was around. On the nights they came together for sex it they ended up at a decent hotel as often as his own bed.

Nearly a year into their strange relationship and things had changed again. Chris had found someone else he wanted, a woman who he could be seen in public with. But he had promised that he had simply missed the softness of a woman in his life and that there would never be anything intimate between them.

Used to not being the most important thing in anyone’s life, a legacy from his mother he went along with Chris. His need for the man outweighed his distaste of sharing and so for the last nine months he had shared Chris.

January and February passed and in March things changed again and he was getting tired of it. Chris had come over one night after a date with his other companion, the smell of her delicate perfume heavy on his black clothing and that had been the last straw. He wanted more from Chris, something he wasn’t sure the man was capable of giving him.

March 15th had been their last day together and the irony was not lost on Ezra. He had planned on talking to Chris about everything but a case had gotten in the way and he had been undercover for nearly a month when the bust had finally gone down. Chris had been injured, taking a bullet to his leg and a concussion and there had been no chance to talk.

Chris shifted under his touch and he stepped back from the bed. He had to leave.

-----

Chris slowly came to, the dull ache in his leg throbbing in a wonderful counterpoint to the remnants of his headache. Eyes barely open he slid out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom, limping with each step.

After splashing water on his face he slowly made his way back to the bed and sat down, going for the medication and water on the table. It was one of the reasons he almost always ended up at Ezra’s after he had been injured. Short of Nathan, Ezra was the only other person on the team who ever remembered to set medications out before the person woke up.

Dry swallowing the pills he glanced around the room, looking for Ezra. While the man wasn’t always in bed with him when he woke, he usually settled into his rocking chair in the corner with coffee and a book. The closet was open as was one drawer but he didn’t think about it too much. Ezra wasn’t as anal retentive as people seemed to think he was, and while he liked everything to be neat, a drawer hanging open wasn’t indicative of anything being wrong.

Setting the glass down he picked the paper up and unfolded it, unsurprised to see Ezra’s neat, looping writing.

Chris,

I am not running out on, you despite what it may seem. AD Travis has granted me leave of absence based on some personal problems I need to deal with. You need not worry about any of this pointing back to you. For all I know AD Travis thinks my mother is mortally ill.

In the privacy of this letter however, you are part of why I am taking some time off. When our affair first started I was content with the way things stood. And even when you started to see Mrs. Travis, I could accept that because you said there would be no physical intimacy and despite wanting her, you had chosen me first and foremost. And even though I was the one relegated to the shadows I was content because I was still wanted.

Now, however things have changed. Any such contentment I have felt was fleeting at best. I find myself wanting more from you, something I am not sure you are capable of. There have been times when we’ve been together that I think I have seen answering emotion in your eyes, but after you came to me smelling of her, I felt my hope begin to wither.

I need this leave of absence. Despite my best intentions to separate myself from this situation it is nearly impossible. You have made it that way. I have no plans to leave the team, but I am not so certain if I can remain in our relationship.

Ezra P. Standish

“Fuck.” Scrubbing a hand across his face Chris stared at the letter. He knew he had a tendency to be a driven bastard but he would shoot anyone who claimed he didn’t care for his team. They were his family, the people he had let into his life after the last tragedy and he would give his life for any of them. He had noticed Ezra’s slow withdrawal, from work and their private life, had assumed it was something intensely private and that Ezra would be able to work it out on his own. And it had been his fault.

It had been a month since they had last been together, and he’d been too caught up in their work to get a chance to talk to Ezra. Like a fool, he had shown up on Ezra’s doorstep, seeking the comfort he knew would be there, had been there for nearly two years. And Ezra hadn’t disappointed him. There had been a soft bed, warmth and the familiar feel of Ezra’s body against his, a better sleeping aid than any of the drugs the hospital ever gave him.

He had seen the signs and had done nothing about it and now Ezra was gone.

“Fuck.”

Getting to his feet he limped to the chair where Ezra had folded his clothing, cell phone on top. He pressed his first speed dial, knowing it would get him either of the only people he could trust with this.

“Vin, I need you or Buck to come get me.” He glanced down at the letter he still held, feeling cold. “I’m at Ezra’s.”

-----

Accepting the steaming coffee cup Chris sank back into the chair, waiting for his friends to get situated. Buck had his own coffee balanced on one thigh, socked feet up on the cluttered coffee table. Vin sat next to the other man, leaning almost imperceptibly into him.

“Wanna tell us what you were doing at Ezra’s pard?” Buck’s words were loud in the stillness of the apartment, questioning and comforting at the same time.

He pulled the note from his pocket and flicked it to the two men, knowing it would explain better than he could manage. Any other time he would have laughed at the look of shock on Buck’s face, Vin’s surprise far more subtle. While their team was the best at criminal investigations, to a man they were retarded when it came to personal or emotional issues. Buck and Vin had wanted each other from almost the beginning but they had spent nearly six months dancing around each other, until JD had decided to help.

That had been three years ago and the two men had settled into orbit around each other, though Buck continued to flirt, needing to, though it didn’t mean anything anymore. They still had their own homes, but usually spent nights together at one place or the other. It was obvious to anyone who knew the two men that they were comfortable and probably together until it was time to bury them.

Taking a drink of his coffee Chris closed his eyes, content to wait for his friends to wrap their minds around it all. He and Ezra had been extremely careful in the presence of their friends, never touching, never deviating from what the team expected from them when it came to interacting with each other. There were times he had wanted to be able to freely touch Ezra, wanting more of the easy affection they shared when they were alone.

“How long?”

“Almost two years.” He took another drink, knowing the explosion would come, when Buck had heard everything. One of the quickest ways to irritate Buck was to hurt one of his friends. And while he was Buck’s oldest friend, he had hurt Ezra and knew what was coming.

“And Mary? How long with her?” Buck’s voice was low and tight with anger and Chris knew the only thing saving him from Buck getting physically violent with him was his injuries.

Chris opened his eyes, meeting Buck’s angry gaze. “Nearly a year.”

Buck surged to his feet, the only thing keeping his coffee from flying across the room being Vin’s quick reflexes as he pulled the cup from his lover’s hand.

“If you didn’t have a hole in you Larabee, I’d have your ass on the floor so fast you wouldn’t you what happened. I can’t fucking believe you! It took us a god damned year to get him to open up to us, to trust and you manage to fuck it all up because you want a woman on the side.”

Vin set both mugs on the table, his eyes never leaving Chris’ face. After three years he was fairly certain he could read his friend and now all he saw was anger and anguish, the likes of which he only saw when one of them was injured or on the anniversary of his family’s death. And under all that something else, fear, well hidden but there, the fear that Ezra wasn’t going to come back.

Curling a hand around Buck’s knee he squeezed, curtailing his lover’s next tirade. He had to ask, having seen the emotion in Ezra’s eyes when he had looked at Chris, after one drink to many. In light of what was happening now, it all made sense. “Why’d you do that to him?”

Hands tightening around the mug Chris stared into the dark liquid. He hated this, didn’t want to say it, but it had to be done, for them to understand. Raising his head he met Buck’s eyes, needing his oldest friend to understand. “I couldn’t be in a monogamous relationship with a male partner. You know how I was in the Navy.”

Buck could only nod as he sank back into the couch. He well remembered how Chris had been when they had gotten together. Their encounters had always followed the same pattern. Chris would be almost shy, something completely at odds with the way he was any other time. During he was frantic and wanton, wanting as much contact as possible and afterwards had always been withdrawn and tried to avoid touching anyone, almost like he was ashamed.

Picking his cup up Buck sank into the couch. “Then why keep jerking Ez around? Why not just take up with Mary and let Ezra go?”

Needing to move Chris got to his feet and started pacing, ignoring the pain in his leg. “Fuck, I know I screwed everything up. But I haven’t been jerking Ezra around. It’s been Mary. I don’t need Mary. Not like I ne-”

He couldn’t say it, wasn’t ready too. It had come to him as he had been waiting for Vin to get to the townhouse. Unable to sit still he had wandered through the rooms, having been there before many times having never really looked. It was comfortable without being crowded, little bits of Ezra evident in every room. The high end alcohol in the little bar, the fine dishes in the cabinets, a few books on the table next to the couch. There were precious few knickknacks, a worn deck of cards and a small well polished stone the colour of Ezra’s eyes on the mantle. Things that would have been easy for a child to hide and carry around.

He had picked the stone off the mantle, liking the feel of it between his fingers, so much like Ezra, hard muscle under smooth skin, warm and intoxicating. That had been the moment of realization, that he had driven Ezra away, broken the most amazing thing that had happened to him since Adam’s birth. And it hurt.

Rubbing the stone between his thumb and fingers everything had crystallized and he had suddenly realized the exact moment everything had gone to hell between he and Ezra. He had been at Mary’s and Billy had been spending the night with his grandparents, leaving the two of them alone.

Mary had been more forward than usual, touching and kissing every time she had passed him. Later, after dinner while they been on the couch, she had practically crawled into his lap, arms sliding around his neck. He had pulled her closer, hands slipping under her shirt, gliding over warm skin. She had pressed closer, hands tangled in his hair, hips shifting against him.

Hands sliding higher his fingers had brushed over the clasp to her bra and that had been enough to flatten his burgeoning arousal. Pushing Mary aside he had climbed to his feet, rubbing his hands against his thighs in an effort to get rid of the feeling of touching her. He had promised Ezra there would be no intimacy with Mary and while he might be a bastard, he never went back on a promise.

Using the excuse of suddenly remembering an expense report that he needed to go over before the next morning Chris had walked out, still rubbing his fingers against his jeans. He had left, needing to see and touch Ezra.

He had left himself in with the key on his ring, knowing Ezra wasn’t expecting him. Thursday was the night he was with Mary and he had never come over to Ezra’s, not wanting to remind Ezra that he wasn’t the only person in his life.

There had only been a brief flash of surprise in Ezra’s eyes when he had stepped into the living room. It had disappeared, melting into the little half smile he only ever saw when they were alone together. Toeing his boots off and dropping his coat to the floor he had crossed to the couch, hand stroking over Ezra’s cheek, thumb tracing the dimple that appeared as Ezra’s smile widened.

Leaning down he kissed Ezra, tasting the whisky the man had been drinking, his other hand resting on the strong chest, thumbing a nipple through the fine linen of Ezra’s shirt. When the man jerked under the light touch he repeated the movement as he buried his face against the long throat, feeling the pulse against his lips.

The scent of Ezra’s cologne surrounded him and he took a deep breath, eyes falling shut. That smell was imprinted in his mind, an integral part of this man who made him feel alive. Even the faintest hint of that smell in the office was enough to make his sex twitch.

They had ended up in bed, with Ezra over him, head thrown back, thighs straining as he had brought them both to completion, Ezra’s release sticky against his chest. Ezra had collapsed on him, face buried against his neck, breathing steady and even and reassuring in the quiet of the room. He had run his hands down the strong plains on Ezra’s back, trying to ease the tension in the heavy muscle.

Later he had gently pushed Ezra off his chest and gotten up to get a cloth to clean them both up. Sliding under the blanket he rested his hand on Ezra’s side and drifted to sleep, lulled by the rhythmic movement under his hand.

The next morning he had rolled over and curled around Ezra, the feeling of a body pressed against his own intensely gratifying. It was one of the things he missed the most, the feeling of waking with another warm body just inches away.

Pressing a kiss to Ezra’s shoulder he had let his hands wander, fingers tracing the lines of muscle he knew well. He traced the line from Ezra’s appendectomy scar, hand dragging to Ezra’s thigh, touching the thick muscle there. Pressing another kiss to the smooth shoulder Chris cupped his hand over Ezra’s knee, content to simply lay there and feel. Part of him had wanted to simply call in and spend the entire day with Ezra but duty had won out.

Slipping from the bed he had showered and changed into some of his clothing that had some how taken up residence in Ezra’s dresser. By the time he was ready to leave Ezra had woken and been watching him from the bed with hooded eyes. It had been so easy to cross to the bed and steal another kiss. There had been hesitation on Ezra’s part, as if he wasn’t quite sure before strong hands had pulled him closer.

Reacting he had pushed closer, taking control of the kiss, one hand planted in the pillows, his other hand traveling lower to pinch a nipple before moving down, teasing the surprisingly sensitive skin surrounding Ezra’s navel.

Pulling away had been hard, each inch requiring a kiss, another touch of skin.

Looking back he could see that little bit of hesitation that morning, combined with Ezra’s withdrawal had been indicators of a much larger problem. And like a moron he had let it go. Pressing his palms against his eyes he paused in his pacing, trying to think.

Buck rested his hand over Vin’s and squeezed, seeing the same thing his lover did. They both had reading Chris down to a fine art and while it wouldn’t look like much to an outsider Chris’ body position showed them many things. Anger, loneliness, fear, and the slight tilt to his shoulders Buck had seen only once, after the explosion, a sure sign his oldest friend was miserable about something.

Raising Vin’s hand Buck brushed a kiss across the knuckles before surging to his feet. “Well Chris, there’s only one thing we can do in a situation like this.”

He waited until Chris met his eyes before continuing. “First thing to do, is break it off with Mary. I’m fine with sharin’ the love around, but not after committing like you obviously did with Ez. And jerking her around isn’t fair either. Second, you need to find Ezra and tell him you love him.”

Ignoring the flinch and hard glare he got from Chris at his words he looked at Vin. His lover was nodding and he knew they were on the same track. They both knew Chris was in love with Ezra, even if Chris wouldn’t admit to it. They had been out at the shooting range one evening when Vin had casually brought it as he’d been reloading his clip. Knowing his lover spent a lot of time watching people he had started watching Ezra when the team had been together. The looks had been there. Ezra’s letter and Chris’ almost palpable anguish had been enough to fill the blanks in.

“Vin, why don’t you get Chris home and get the horses taken care of for right now. I’ll call JD and tell him to see if he can track down where Ezra went. It shouldn’t be hard to find him since he isn’t really hiding from us.” He waved a hand at the glare Chris had aimed at him. “Not going to tell him anything he doesn’t need to know. Just going to tell him that Ezra took a little break and we just want to know in case something blows up.”

-----

“How long have you known?”

Vin glanced at Chris, surprised that he had felt the need to break the silence. After Buck had taken charge at the apartment nothing else had been said. Looking back to the road for a moment he returned his gaze to Chris. Chris was resting his head against the window. His eyes were closed and he looked older, the lines around his mouth and eyes more pronounced in his sorrow.

“I didn’t actually know until today. But I’ve suspected for about six months now. Ezra isn’t so good at hiding when he’s had a little too much to drink and thinks no one is looking.”

He turned onto Chris’ driveway, slowing down slightly to give them some more time. “How long have you known Ezra was in love with you?”

Chris didn’t flinch but sighed heavily. “Nine months. I was trying to ignore it.”

“Why?” The word slipped out of his mouth without thought. In all the years he’d known Chris he hadn’t pried once, but this was different. Ezra’s future with the team was at stake and Vin wasn’t willing to risk that, even in the face of Chris’ ire for interfering.

Chris’ hand curled into a fist, his knuckles turning white. “Because I’m an idiot.”

Silence descended and no further words were exchanged. The moment Vin had the Jeep in park Chris had the door open and was out, limping his way towards the back door. Vin waited until Chris was inside before he made his way into the barn, smiling when he saw the seven equine heads hanging over the stall doors.

It was easy to fall into the rhythm of getting the hay broken into flakes and tossed into mangers. Sweet feed and water came next and it gave him a chance to get a comb and hoof pick from the tack room. The team managed to get out to the ranch at least three or four times a week to see to their respective mounts, but most of the daily care fell to him, Chris and Buck.

Vin didn’t mind caring for the others’ horses because it was something he enjoyed doing and the time alone in the barn with only the animals for company was relaxing and allowed him time to think.

Ezra’s horse was always the first one done eating, something that never ceased to amuse Vin when compared with his owner’s own picky eating habits. One by one he gave each horse a cursory combing and checked their hooves before turning them out into the corral which in turn opened into a small pasture.

An hour later he had the stalls cleaned out with new straw down. The sun was halfway through its climb to zenith as Vin crossed the gravel to the house. Once inside he washed his hands at the kitchen sink and drained a glass of water. The water in the upstairs bathroom shut off as he put the glass in the half full dishwasher and he headed upstairs, wanting to check on Chris before he took off.

Vin stood in the doorway to the master bedroom, not ready to break the silence. Chris was sitting on the bed in a pair of grey knit shorts that had seen better days, water beaded on his shoulders and chest, his hair slicked back. With the ease of long practice he got the long graze on his inner thigh covered again before looking up to meet Vin’s eyes.

“I got the horses fed and their stalls cleaned out. I refilled their bins with hay. I figured you’d be able to get them back in and deal with the sweet feed yourself.”

Chris nodded as he pulled a worn T-shirt on. “Nothing is going on this weekend. I’m going to Mary’s on Sunday.”

Vin straightened up from his slouch. “Okay. You want we should call SWAT?” Warmth curled in his stomach when a hint of a grin flickered across Chris’ face. “I’m heading out.”

A nod was his only answer and Vin left, knowing he was probably lucky to have even gotten that much acknowledgement. He locked the door on his way out and with a last glance at the house he slid into his Jeep.

His phone rang as he neared the edge of town and he answered it without glancing at the display. “Tanner.”

“Hey darlin’ how do you feel about a trip to Chicago next weekend?”

Vin pulled into a gas station parking lot and shut the engine off, leaning back in the seat. Buck had a tendency to be distracting while he was in the car. Driving while on the phone with him was a death wish. “I’m impressed JD found him that fast.”

Buck’s laugh was a welcome sound after the morning’s showdown. “I won’t tell the kid you said that. He’d be offended that you thought so little of his abilities. And he said Ez wasn’t that hard to find. Only one Ezra Standish in Denver and only one that flew out late last night, bound for Chicago.” Buck’s voice dropped, low and husky, the way it did only when he was trying for seduction. “Besides, it’ll give us a chance for a little time away from the others.”

Switching his phone to the other side Vin tugged at the bottom of his coat. “Should’ve known you’d try to find the silver linin’ in Chris chasin’ Ezra off. Chris is gonna talk to Mary tomorrow.”

“Then we’ll be there. He’s going to need the moral support whether he thinks it or not”

-----

Mary pulled her wrap tighter as she made her way to the front door, brows drawn together in confusion. Billy was with his grandparents and would be until later that afternoon. No one else had any reason to be knocking on her door at nine o’clock on a Sunday morning.

She opened the door, smiling when she saw Chris. “Chris! I wasn’t expecting to see you until Thursday, especially after I heard you’d been hurt.” Her eyes darted to where Buck’s truck was parked, Buck and Vin leaning against it. “Why are they here?”

“The team seems to think I’m not trusted to be alone in public when I’m in pain. We need to talk.”

Stepping back Mary opened the door wider to allow Chris in. From the beginning for their relationship she had pushed for more time with him and had only given up after four months and several snapped replies from Chris. It hadn’t stopped her from wanting more, and now, on a Sunday morning with Chris in her home, having more seemed possible.

“I won’t be coming by on Thursday.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose you still have some clean up to do with that last case.” She glanced at him, a slight smile curling her lips as she twisted the hem of her wrap. “I suppose we could just spend two evenings together in a couple of weeks.”

Fighting the urge to jingle his keys Chris met her eyes. “I won’t be coming by then either. There won’t be another time Mary. We’re done and there’s someone else in the picture.”

Mary stared at Chris, not quite sure what to make of his words. “What do you mean there is someone else? Have you been cheating on me? How long?”

“If I’ve been cheating on anyone it’s my lover and as long as we’ve been spending time together.”

“I- Who-” Mary drew her wrap closer in an attempt to ward off the coldness she could feel seeping into her bones. “Is it anyone I know?”

Eyes narrowed Chris took in her fidgeting, the subdued curve of her shoulders. He wasn’t surprised that Mary was prying for more information. It was part of who she was but Chris wasn’t going to give her any. What was between he and Ezra was their business and it would stay that way.

They had managed to keep their personal life from crossing the boundary into their working conditions. He hated sending Ezra undercover, but he had felt that way even before they had started sleeping together. It was a necessary evil, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. There were too many things that could go wrong when someone was undercover and anyone who worked undercover or knew someone who worked undercover had all heard the horror stories of those who had been found out. People who had been brutally tortured and murdered their bodies left to be found in dirty alleys or ditches. The people who had been brutally tortured and disfigured but left alive to serve as a warning against trying to infiltrate again.

“It doesn’t matter who it is Mary.” Knowing it was as clean of a break as he could make given the circumstances he inclined his head and brushed past her.

Chris paused on the doorstep, the cool fall air icy against his cheeks. Mary’s level head had been one of the things that had drawn him to her and he was glad of it. The last thing he had wanted was a big blow up and while he hadn’t given Mary a chance to get angry, she hadn’t shown any signs of becoming irrational.

“No shotgun?”

Clearing the stoop he glanced at Buck a, who had moved to lean against the Ram. “No shotgun.”

Buck grinned. “Good. I’d hate to have to explain to Travis why you had a hole in you from his daughter-in-law.” His grin dropped away. “How’d she take it?”

“How would you feel if you found out Vin was cheating on your after nearly a year together?” Chris jingled his keys, wanting to get back to the ranch and take care of the horses, to bury everything in hard work and sweat.

Clapping his hand on Chris’ shoulder Buck squeezed. “JD tracked Ezra up to Chicago. Vin and I were planning on heading there next weekend. I figure if he hears about you breaking up with Mary from us first maybe it’ll make him more willing to listen to you later. And I’m thinking he might be mad enough to shoot you right now.”

Chris nodded his weariness overwhelming.

-----

Lowering his book Ezra stared at the suite door. In theory, there shouldn’t be anyone knocking on his door. No one knew where he was and he hadn’t called room service. Even when he had left his townhouse a week ago he hadn’t had any idea of where he was going, just knowing he had to get away from Denver. Chicago had been a spur of the moment decision.

Despite his reasons for leaving home, it had been good to get away. It was nice not having to worry about his phone ringing at some ungodly hour in the morning, not having to deal with the fear and adrenaline each time he was about to go under. He couldn’t remember ever having a week that was so relaxing.

The insistent knocking on his door started again and Ezra set his book down and stood, ready to tell whoever was at the door to disappear. He jerked the door open, words dying on his lips.

Buck and Vin were standing in the hallway, Vin looking as relaxed as ever, Buck grinning broadly. Ezra rested his forehead against the door and closed his eyes, hoping the sudden appearance of his friends was a hallucination based on an unusual amount of stress free living. “I should have known you two would be the hounds Chris sent to return me to the fold.”

“Actually Chris didn’t send us. We decided we could use a weekend get away and Chicago seemed like a good enough place. The fact we’ve got some news about Chris and Mary to pass on doesn’t figure into it all.”

Ezra raised his head from the door, feeling suddenly lightheaded. The secret they had carefully guarded for two years was out. He stepped back and gestured for the other men to enter. If he was going to pass out it was better to do it in semi-privacy rather than being sprawled in the middle of the hallway

“Would you gentlemen care for something to drink?”

Looking around the posh room Vin smiled slightly at Ezra. “Coffee would be good Ez.”

Ezra nodded as he started the coffee machine. “I’m afraid you’ll have to submit your taste buds to real coffee Vin. I highly doubt I could find some of your Folgers instant sludge in a cup you usually indulge in.”

Vin wandered over to the windows over looking Lake Michigan. “Doesn’t matter what it is as long as there’s caffeine in it.”

Buck settled on the couch, eyes on Ezra. Their friend hadn’t exactly been happy to see them and when he had mentioned Chris and Mary Ezra had gone pale and tensed up so fast Buck had been afraid he was going to pass out. He had to admit that Ezra looked more relaxed but there was a hollow look in his pale eyes.

Flipping the switch on the coffee maker Ezra turned back to look at Buck. “I take it by your comment that our esteemed leader has finally asked Mrs. Travis to become his wife.” He dug his fingers into the counter the coffee maker sat on, ignoring the tightness in his chest. “I’m sure Mrs. Travis is ecstatic.”

Ezra took a breath and closed his eyes. It hurt to say, but part of him had known it would happen. Of course Chris would chose the person he could be seen out in public, the person society wouldn’t frown upon. He’d have to put in for a transfer as soon as possible assuming anyone would have him. Staying on the team wasn’t an option if Chris and Mary were going to be getting married.

“You’ll have to give my congratulations to the happy couple. I fear I will be unable to attend the nuptials.”

Buck glanced from Ezra to his lover, frowning. Ezra had tensed up and looked pale again and Buck couldn’t help but wonder what he had said to make his friend look so miserable. Casting his mind over everything he had said since Ezra since he had opened the door he realized exactly how his greeting had sound. He saw Vin smile slightly and knew his lover had caught his slip.

“Shit Ezra, sit down before you pass out. You misunderstood what I said about Chris and Mary. They aren’t getting married. Chris broke it off with Mary last weekend.” He paused for a moment. “We saw the letter Ezra.”

Ezra dropped into one of the chairs, hands clenched on his knees to keep them from trembling. Two years of careful deception all gone in the time it took to read a page. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see either of the men.

Vin’s voice was a low rasp barely heard above the soft sound of the coffee maker. “Believe it or not Ezra, but we aren’t taken’ either side in this, even if we do think Chris is in the wrong. Course, that don’t mean we think what he did was right.”

Ezra heard Buck’s snort of derision and couldn’t help but smile. It seemed Buck didn’t agree with his lover when it came to taking sides.

“Vin may not be taking sides, but I certainly am. Chris may be my oldest friend but he’s been a right ass about this whole situation. If it wasn’t for that hole in him he would have been bleeding on the floor again. I’m siding with Ezra on this.”

Warmth pooled in the pit of his stomach and some of Ezra’s tension drained away. Even after four years with the team there were still times he doubted his value, wondered whether or not they actually liked him or if he was merely tolerated for his skills. However, if Buck was willing to take his side against his oldest friend it was a sure sign that Buck considered him part of the family they had created.

Opening his eyes to find Buck ready to continue Ezra raised his hand to cut him off. “While I appreciate your anger on my part Buck, I must ask that you cease slandering your best friend. I am as much to blame for this situation as Chris is. I am an adult and as such bear the responsibility for my actions. I could have told Chris the truth as soon as I realized it, could have given him an ultimatum in dealing with Mrs. Travis, could have broken it off. Instead I chose to stay, unable to give up the one thing causing me the most pain in my life. My heartache is of my own doing.”

Not giving either of his friends a chance to say anything Ezra got up and poured three cups of coffee. “Let us drink gentlemen, and then I shall take you out to dinner.”

-----

Buck parked his truck and got out, moving to join Chris who was standing by the nearest pasture fence watching the horses. He leaned against the high fence, emulating his friend’s position, arms folded across the top rail, left foot resting on the bottom rail. A smile tugged at his lips as his mount moved between irritating Chris and Vin’s mounts, enjoying the attention from the two blacks.

Ezra’s own horse was lingering near Chris’, the fractious black unusually accepting of the chestnut’s presence. Looking back on everything he knew, it was easy to see how Chris and Ezra had much of the same relationship when in public. Chris could easily ignore Ezra unless the undercover agent was trying to push him and in return when quiet Chris seemed to welcome Ezra’s presence.

Buck canted his head slightly, seeing the tension in Chris’ shoulders, his smile widening. He knew Chris wanted to ask about Ezra but wouldn’t, not wanting anyone to know how much Ezra actually meant to him. It had become a defense mechanism after the fire, to not let anyone seem to close, for fear of losing them too.

Looking back to the horses Buck let the silence sit for several moments before breaking it. “Talked to Ezra on Saturday. He looks good, more relaxed than I think I’ve ever seen him before, physically at least. Mentally and emotionally I’m not so sure. He’s got bags under his eyes and he looks kind of haunted.”

Chris shifted next to him and Buck knew it was in discomfort. While Chris seemed like an uncaring bastard to the outside world the truth was that Chris felt strongly for the few people he actually let through his barriers. After the fire those barriers had been closed tightly for years and had only started to reopen, even to him, with the creation of Team Seven. And Ezra had managed to get even further than any of the rest of them.

“He doesn’t blame you Chris, not entirely. Told us he blamed himself just as much as you. I think you could get him to come back, to the team and you, but it won’t be easy. This hurt him bad and I can’t say I blame him for being skittish about it.”

He wasn’t surprised when Chris didn’t say anything. Words had never come easily to Chris, except when he was drunk, the times he wasn’t sullen and silent. Even now, in the face of losing Ezra the words weren’t forthcoming.

Straightening up with a groan as his spine popped Buck rested a hand on Chris’ shoulder, squeezing. “Everything will work out.”

-----

Chris slid into the bed, the sheets cool against his damp skin. Reaching out he turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. Unbidden the image of Ezra appeared in his mind as they had last been together, but it was his bed he saw Ezra in, a place he had never been.

The thought of Ezra sprawled in his bed, smooth pale skin against dark sheets was arousing and Chris closed his eyes, thumbing a nipple as he did so, shivering against the arrow of pleasure shooting down his spine.

His other hand drifted lower, fingers brushing over curls, tracing the length of his cock. He touched a finger to the head and gathered the drop of fluid there, rubbing it between finger and thumb. Another light touch to his nipple had him shifting against the sheets, circling his fingers around the head of his cock.

Eyes closed he continued touching himself, wishing it was Ezra with him. Hand sliding across his stomach as he approached the brink all Chris could remember was the way Ezra had been the last time together.

Head back, flush painting his face and upper chest, thighs trembling as he’d worked to get them off, hand hard on his cock. The only sounds in the room had been of their breathing and the soft, almost whimpering moans spilling from Ezra’s swollen lips.

He hadn’t been able to let go, his hands curled tight around Ezra’s hips, thumbs tracing circles on the delicate skin with each up thrust of his hips. Ezra had come first and continued to move, shudders wracking his body as each thrust had stimulated his prostate further.

Breath catching in his throat Chris came, the image of Ezra above him fading away like a ghost.

-----

Stepping into Chris’ office Buck reacted automatically to grab the black box before it hit his face. Fingers wrapping around it he lowered it and crossed to Chris’ desk, leaning a hip against it. “Better ways to try and kill me.”

Buck grinned at the dark look Chris gave him, fingers absently rubbing over the top of the box. It took him a moment to realize it was covered in fine velvet like jewelry boxes and only a second longer to come to the conclusion that was exactly what he held. Flipping it open he stared at the contents for a moment before finding his voice. “You know, that’s twice now you’ve asked me and I’ll have to say no again.”

He saw the same flicker of amusement he had seen in hazel eyes so many years ago the last time he had made that joke upon being presented with a jeweler’s box. The humour in hazel eyes died and he swallowed. “Are you sure this is the way to go?”

Chris was staring out his office windows, seemingly mesmerized by Denver’s fall weather. “Yeah. This last year has definitely not been one of the finer ones in my life, starting with right after the fire. She wouldn’t be impressed with the way I’ve handled this whole thing with Ezra. I know that the box isn’t going to solve anything but I hope it will help matters.”

“You made a good choice. Ezra needs to hear the words, which you happen to suck at. Luckily this should get the point across nicely.” Buck handed the box back to Chris. “I take it you’re heading out tonight?”

Fingers rubbing over the box Chris nodded. “Bag is in the Ram. Flight leaves at eight. I don’t suppose you and Vin would mind taking care of the horses for the next week?”

Buck shook his head. “No. We’ll crash in the guest room. It’ll be a lot easier than running back and forth. What should we tell the others?”

“Tell them personal business. It’ll be enough to keep them thinking.”

-----

Ezra stared at the door, unable to believe what was happening. Twice in a week someone was knocking on his door, and much like the last time, he didn’t think the insistent knocking was from a hotel employee. Book in hand he got up and opened the door, feeling time stop. “Chris.”

Standing there in black jeans and a dark grey shirt, hip length black leather jacket hanging open, hair turned tawny by the low lighting of the hallway was Chris and Ezra was tempted to simply slam the door shut, appearances be damned.

Hand tight on the doorknob Ezra stared at Chris, having a hard time believing that the man had actually taken the time off the work he was notoriously driven about. It had to mean something that Chris had willingly taken the time off. But as much as he wanted to believe it he couldn’t.

“And so the shepherd comes to return the wayward sheep to the flock when the hounds have failed.”

He watched as Chris shifted, a subtle movement of the lean body, the man’s only concession when it came to fidgeting. He knew Chris was waiting for an invitation in and because of that he was intent on keeping him out, not willing to give up the safety that came with controlling the door.

Chris frowned and Ezra could tell he was feeling frustrated. While Chris was inscrutable to many people he made his life on being able to read the criminals he worked with and Chris had nothing on some of the criminals Ezra had gone up against.

“You know as well as I do that Buck and Vin came up here to see you of their own free will. I don’t push any of my men to come back early unless something serious comes up. You going to let me in?”

Book tucked under his arm Ezra made to shut the door. “I think not. There is really no reason for us to talk.”

A booted foot slid into the gap between door and frame, Chris following until he was pressed against the door. Ezra had to tilt his head back to meet Chris’ eyes and shivered against the thrill it sent down his spine. “A gentleman doesn’t push.”

Chris leaned in, long fingers wrapping around the door near the knob. “I’ve lost track of how many times you’ve said none of us are gentlemen. And if you’re not going to let me in I’m going to talk through the door and irritate your neighbors and we’ll be the next hot couple arguing on COPS.”

Ezra canted his head, mask of bland neutrality firmly in place. “Couple.” He drawled the word, dragging it out as if he was trying to make a connection. “Not a word I would have thought of using when describing our barely existent relationship.”

Chris’ fingers twitched at his words, brushing against the back of his hand. “Why are you here?”

Chris wrapped his other hand around the doorframe. “I came to make an attempt to start getting everything between us back to normal but you’re making it difficult.”

Chris’ words echoed in his head and Ezra did the best he could to pay no heed to sudden increase in his heart rate the words had provoked. Just because Chris had said the words he had most hoped to hear it didn’t mean it was time for him to simply give in. He wasn’t above making Chris prove his intentions.

“I have never been accused of being easy in any aspect of my life Chris, but since you seem resolute on this course of action then I suppose I shall have to give you a chance. Be at my door at seven-thirty this evening and we shall go out to dinner.”

Ezra froze when Chris’ hand lifted from the doorframe and fingers brushed over his cheek before Chris withdrew.

-----

Lifting his wineglass Ezra looked at his companion. He had been surprised when Chris had shown up at his door wearing an obviously expensive black suit with a dark maroon shirt, the top two buttons undone. They had taken a taxi to the restaurant and Chris had continued to be courteous the entire night.

Ezra reached for the folder containing the bill, prepared to pay for the meal. He hadn’t chosen the most expensive restaurant in the city, but it was upscale even compared to when he went out in Denver. Just before his fingers touched the leather, Chris picked the folder up and slid his credit card in without looking.

“Chris.”

Chris set the folder on the edge of the table and picked up his scotch before leaning back, a faint wicked grin tugging at his mouth. “Isn’t that part of picking the right partner, making sure they can provide for you in the fashion to which you have become accustomed?”

Not wanting Chris to get the upper hand Ezra waited until the waiter had picked up the folder before speaking. “Does that mean you’ll be purchasing my next Jaguar?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Chris drained the rest of his scotch and stood, accepting the receipt from the waiter and signing it before slipping the copy into his pocket fast enough that Ezra didn’t get a chance to look at it. “How far back to the hotel?”

Standing Ezra shrugged his coat on and made his way through the tables, aware of the warmth of Chris’ hand where it hovered over the small of his back. It sent a shiver down his spine, to know that if he and Chris wanted to they could touch without their secret getting back to anyone who mattered.

For a brief moment he was tempted to do just that, to stop and push back against the hand so near his back, to feel the familiar strength. As quickly as the urge had risen he pushed it back down. While they were safe in Chicago, not having to worry who might see he wouldn’t do it. They were both intensely private when in public and there was no reason to change that simply because they weren’t home.

“Eight blocks.” Ezra drew the collar of his coat up against the chill wind blowing through the tall buildings. “I take your inquiry to mean that you would like to walk back?”

Chris nodded and did up the buttons of his jacket. “There is a reason I live so far out of town.”

By the end of the first block they had fallen into step together as had become habit after four years working together. They were close enough that their arms touched with each step and Ezra found himself fighting against the urge to reach out and catch Chris’ hand, if even for a minute.

Shaking his head, shocked at how desperate he was feeling to touch Chris he stuffed his hands in the pockets on his coat. It had been months since he had last touched Chris with any sexual intent and now that the man was here and had declared his intentions, as vague as they had been, it was irritating how badly he wanted to reach out and touch Chris, to assure himself that the man wasn’t simply a hallucination brought on by a lack of stress.

“Buck was pissed when he picked me up from your place. Would have hit me if I had been able to walk without limping.”

“I can imagine so. His dander was very much still up when he was here.”

Ezra glanced at Chris. His voice was softer than usual and he didn’t seem to be holding his body with the rigidity he was so used to from the office, things he usually only saw when they were alone, when Chris could relax enough to let go even a little bit.

As they turned onto the street that would eventually lead back to the hotel Ezra moved closer to Chris, left hand sliding out of his pocket. Not giving his courage a chance to leave he reached out, fingers skimming over the warm skin on the back of Chris’ hand before sliding around until their palms were touching.

Before he could react strong fingers were twining with his, squeezing once before pulling away as another couple came towards them.

Hand drifting back to his pocket Ezra spared another look at Chris, not prepared for the soft, heart wrenching smile tugging at the corners of Chris’ mouth.

After meeting Chris for the first time, had anyone ever told Ezra that the man was capable of such a fragile, soft smile he would have laughed at them. But now, faced with it he felt heat curling in the pit of his stomach and he fought the urge to reach out again. He had never been weak in his convictions and he wasn’t going to give in because of a smile.

“What where you planning on doing tomorrow?”

Stepping into the hotel as Chris held the door open Ezra lead the way to the elevators. “I had thought to take in some more of the Chicago culture, perhaps visit several museums. Why?”

Steady hazel eyes met his as the elevator doors closed, all traces of the tender smile gone. “Curious. Figured we might meet up at sometime, go out to dinner again and maybe do something else.”

Ezra could only nod, powerless as always in the face of Chris’ ever changing eyes.

----

“Stay.”

The word caught Chris and he froze in place, hand having just closed around the doorknob. He looked over his shoulder. Ezra was in the middle of the living room, hands in the pockets of his slacks, looking casual and cool but Chris could tell he was just as surprised by the one word.

Ezra licked his lips and shifted, the slight movement betraying him. “I find two weeks in a city with no one I know not nearly as thrilling as I had assumed it would be.” There was a brief pause. “For the night.”

Hand dropping from the doorknob Chris turned. Only three nights with Ezra and already invited back into his bed. Unexpected and he knew it didn’t mean everything was back to normal. For Ezra, the one perpetually left behind and lied to, his few words, no matter how heartfelt were not enough to make him believe everything was back to normal. Chris knew he would probably spend the rest of his life telling Ezra how much he wanted him.

Eyes never leaving Ezra he took his coat off and hung it on one of the hooks. He crossed to Ezra in three strides, hand coming up to cup his chin, stopping when a hand was pressed into his chest.

“Just because I asked you to stay, it does not entitle you to taking liberties with my body.”

Chris completed the movement, thumb touching the middle of Ezra’s lower lip. “Wasn’t going to take any.” He moved a little closer, thumb tracing the curve of Ezra’s lip to the corner of his mouth.

Feeling some of Ezra’s tension fade Chris bowed his head, lips brushing Ezra’s in a touch that could barely be considered a kiss. Another brief touch, more of a kiss than the first one and Ezra was drawing back.

Hand flexing against Chris’ chest Ezra inclined his head towards the bedroom door. “You may have first use of the facilities. I have one matter I need to attend to.”

Before Chris could say anything Ezra had drawn away and disappeared into the dining area. Shaking his head at Ezra’s sudden disappearance Chris toed his boots off and moved to the bedroom.

The King sized bed was neatly made, the pale linens almost silver in the moonlight. Chris flicked the bedside light on, opting to leave the overhead light off. Not having anything to sleep in since his own clothing was three floors down and he didn’t want to risk Ezra not letting him back in he decided the worn T-Shirt he had on under his dress shirt and boxers would have to suffice.

There was an unopened toothbrush in the bathroom and he helped himself to Ezra’s toothpaste. Standing in the bathroom door looking at the bed it was hard to imagine that he and Ezra were actually going to share a bed just to sleep. Two years together and they had only ever shared a bed after sex.

Feeling like an ass Chris slipped into the left side of the bed, the sheets cool against his skin. He relaxed into the bed, one arm across his stomach, the other tucked under the blankets. Eyes closed he listened as Ezra came into the room and the soft rustle of clothing being removed.

The bathroom door clicked and Chris rolled onto his side, head cradled on his bent arm. A faint sliver of light was visible at the bottom of the door and he watched as the light shifted with Ezra’s movement.

Minutes later the door opened and Chris cursed himself for an idiot again as he looked at Ezra. Dark green silk pajama pants hung low on Ezra’s hips and clung to his thighs, emphasizing the heavy muscle.

Eyes never leaving Ezra he shifted to turn off the light, plunging the room into darkness. Reaching over Chris flicked the blankets back in silent invitation, knowing Ezra was probably feeling as off balance as he was. He watched as Ezra shifted in the doorway before crossing to the bed.

Even across the distance separating them Chris could feel Ezra’s warmth and without really thinking he reached out, fingers settling on warm skin. He felt Ezra tense and he shifted closer, his hand sliding higher until it was curled around the base of Ezra’s neck, pulse beating strong against his fingers.

Elbow digging into the mattress Chris leaned over Ezra, fingers stroking over the strong beat. In the faint light from the moon he could see the tension in Ezra’s body, the slight furrows across the high forehead and the frown tugging at his mouth.

Leaning down he pressed his lips to Ezra’s cheek, needing a moment to gather his thoughts. “It was a mistake.”

He felt Ezra tense and he cursed himself. Four years he had known Ezra, two of those in an intimate relationship and he still managed to upset the man on a regular basis. Dealing with Ezra was one of the few times he wished for a better ability with words but he had managed and would continue to.

“Not us. I handled everything that happened badly but I never regretted what happened between us.” Knowing his presence and the time they had spent together over the last three days had at least partially assured Ezra of his honesty in the whole situation.

Chris trailed his lips along the curve of Ezra’s jaw to his chin, nibbling on his lover’s lower lip before pulling back. Ezra’s eyes opened dark in the moonlight and a hand came up, sliding into his hair, urging him close with gentle pressure.

Their lips touched and Chris had to close his eyes against the warmth spreading through his body. The only other time he had felt even nearly so complete had been with Sarah and he kept the kiss slow and easy, hoping that Ezra could feel how much he wanted him back in his life.

He eased back, breaking the kiss into softer, shorter touches of lips, fingers stroking Ezra’s throat. With a last lingering touch he drew back, hand sliding off Ezra to rest on the blankets between them. “Go to sleep Ezra.”

There was the faintest hint of a grin tugging at those mobile lips before Ezra was rolling away from him and snuggling into the bedding.

Chris pulled his pillow under his head and reached out, fingers barely brushing the curve of Ezra’s back.

-----

Rolling over Chris brushed a kiss to Ezra’s shoulder before resting his forehead against smooth skin. He settled his right hand on Ezra’s hip, fingers moving from skin to silk. It was tempting to curl closer and simply doze, basking in the man’s presence, but he had already slept in later than he was used to and his body was ready to get up and move.

A last fleeting kiss and he slid out of the bed, ducking into the bathroom before going into the living room to start the coffee maker. Once the pot had started Chris went to his coat and removed the jeweler’s box from the pocket. Fingers rubbing over the top of the box he moved to the windows.

The early morning light reflected off the water, making the placid water look like a flawless mirror. There were several birds flying above the lake and he could just barely make out a large freighter on the edge of the horizon. Looking out the window, at the calm placidity of the lake and unable to see the streets below Chris could admit how much he had needed to get away from the office and Denver and he was doing his damned best to forget that he was here chasing down his errant lover.

He could almost pretend it was simply the two of them getting away from the stress.

Coffee cup in one hand, box in the other Chris reentered the bedroom, a faint smile tugging at his lips. Ezra had moved to the middle of the bed and curled on his side, blankets drawn up so only the top part of his forehead and hair were visible.

Moving slowly Chris climbed back on the bed and sat next to Ezra, thigh pressed tight against his back. He felt Ezra shift and setting the box down he switched the mug to his other hand. With his free hand he tugged the blankets lower, hand skimming up to curl around Ezra’s bicep, feeling the latent strength under his fingers.

Ezra shifted again and Chris moved his thumb in long strokes over smooth skin. With a soft murmur Ezra drifted to a deeper level of sleep and Chris continued the soft touch.

Sometime later when Ezra began to stir again Chris’ coffee cup had gone cold against his thigh. Stretching he set the mug on the bedside table before going back to touching Ezra’s arm, his hand following as Ezra uncurled and stretched, body arching away before coming back, warm and familiar against his hip.

The blankets had slid down during Ezra’s stretch, pooling around his knees. Chris dropped his hand to the man’s thigh, fingers sliding between, palm flat against hard muscle.

Chris watched as Ezra reached for the box, apprehension suddenly flooding his system, making his muscles tighten. Taking a deep breath he shook his head and drew circles on Ezra’s leg with his thumb. At forty-two years he was old enough to deal with anything that might be said in the coming minutes.

Long fingers opened the box and silence reigned for a moment before Ezra was twisting, box held in his hand. Chris shifted his weight onto his right hip as he waited for Ezra to settle back into the bed, fingers still pinned between his legs. Only a faint haze of sleep lingered in the pale eyes, barely hiding the sharp intensity usually only seen on a case.

“What is this supposed to mean?” Ezra’s voice was silk, the tone used to draw criminals into his web.

Ignoring the hard edge under the soft drawl Chris leaned forward. “A promise. The same one I gave Sarah.”

Ezra stiffened, eyes flaring and he moved to sit up. “Is that how you see me? A wife, subservient to you in every way?”

Rocking onto his knees Chris threw a leg over Ezra’s thighs and planted a hand on either side of his head, keeping him pinned to the bed. He knew from previous experience that trying to confine Ezra was dangerous. Despite Ezra’s fancy clothing and vocal complaints against manual labor he was an expert in unarmed combat and several martial arts. The team had learned early on with a number of bruises, that physical confining Ezra was dangerous.

“Sarah was never subservient to me and I sure as hell never expected it from her. And seeing as I can barely get you to listen to me at work, I sure as fuck don’t expect anything different in our personal life.”

Chris moved further and pressed his knee between Ezra’s thighs until they parted, hands still framing his face as he hovered over the compact body. “Partners Ezra. That’s what it means.”

Touching Ezra’s cheek Chris sat back. “As for the wife thing, I know you can barely cook any better than I can and I know you hire someone to clean your townhouse, so I’m better off cleaning the ranch myself. You have half an hour to get ready for lunch.”

-----

Chris paused by the column near his flight gate and turned. He caught Ezra’s shoulder and tugged him behind the fake marble, his bag dropping to the floor. The part of the terminal they were in was sparsely populated or else he wouldn’t be taking the risk.

Ezra was surprisingly docile under his hands and moved forward when he tugged. Chris touched his thumb to the middle of Ezra’s lips before kissing him, though it was little more than the briefest touch of lips.

Strong arms slid around his waist and he lowered his head, pressing his lips to the hair behind Ezra’s ear. He wouldn’t ask if and when Ezra was coming back, what he had said earlier to Ezra standing, he didn’t interfere with the lives of his men unless they were in some kind of serious danger

“I should get going so I can get through security.”

Chris ran his hand down Ezra’s back as he drew back. He was bending down for a final parting kiss when the sound of children had them both taking a step away from each other.

Ezra’s face was surprisingly open and Chris could almost let himself hope that maybe everything was going to work out. “Have a good flight Mr. Larabee.”

-----

Duffle bag in hand Chris tiredly made his way down the tunnel that connected the plane to the terminal. It was late enough in the evening that the idea of simply spending the night at Ezra’s townhouse was becoming more appealing when faced with making the long drive out to the ranch.

“Hell stud, you don’t look like a man who spent a week with the second love of his life.”

Chris stopped at the words and it took him a moment to realize that Buck had sidled up next to him and was trying to pull his bag away. He let his friend take the bag, rolling his shoulders against the loss. “You didn’t honestly expect anything to happen did you?”

Buck shrugged as they made their way through the airport, perfectly in step. “You know Sarah always accused me of being an eternal optimist. But now it’s obvious you’ve been getting some lovin’ the last two years. You weren’t nearly as cranky before you drove Ez away.”

Any other time he would have reacted to Buck’s dig but he was tired enough that coming up with something suitable was nearly impossible. “Why the hell are you here? I’m surprised Tanner let you loose in public unsupervised.”

“He’s at the ranch. I crashed at my place tonight so I could get a few hours. Figured you could use some company to keep you awake on the drive out there.” Buck tossed Chris’ bag into the back of the Ram.

Unlocking the doors with the remote Chris jerked his door open. “I could have just crashed at Ezra’s place. Was going to until you announced your presence.”

Buck climbed into the truck. “So, serious enough for him to give you a key but not enough for you to just want him.”

Chris started the engine before glancing at Buck. “I’m not so attached to you that the thought of leaving your ass in the middle of nowhere doesn’t appeal to me. Vin would eventually forgive me.”

He wasn’t surprised when Buck’s only response was to grin. They’d known each other long enough that his threats had stopped being effective long before they had joined the ATF.

“So, what did Ezra say?”

Fingers flexing around the steering wheel Chris kept his eyes on the road. Buck knew when to keep his silence and when to push and would always push when a friend was involved. It was a minor miracle it had taken until the outskirts of town for him to finally speak up.

“Not a lot of talking happened. As you’ve told me many times, I suck at talking. I gave him the box and didn’t push. You know as well as I do what happens when Ezra gets pushed.”

Buck slumped in the seat. “Yeah. Guess we’ll have to hope you got your point across.”

-----

Pulling the carafe out Chris shoved his cup under, catching the last few dribbles from the machine before filling the mug. “You want to ask now or wait until we’re outside?”

“Naw. Ain’t gonna pry. One thing Buck hasn’t managed to rub off on me yet. I figure you did what you could. Ez is still prickly and not gonna rush a choice like this. He’ll be back when he’s ready.”

Vin stood and made his way towards the back bedroom that he and Buck stayed in when at the ranch. “I’m gonna get Buck up so we can work a couple of horses while you clean stalls.”

Shaking his head Chris went into the mudroom to pull on the boots he wore in the barn. His friends were irritating at the best of times.

-----

The box sat in the middle of the tray table, its contents glittering in the poor cabin light. It was amazing how much meaning such a small thing could hold. Ezra touched a finger to the cool metal not trying to even fight the well of emotion it brought up in his chest.

He had pressed, passive-aggressive as his mother had taught him and it had worked. It had gotten him a promise, the same one Chris had given his beloved, departed wife. And now, three weeks after Chris’ unexpected arrival he was back on a plane to Denver.

Ezra had spent much of those three weeks after Chris’ departure debating whether or not going back home was actually a good thing. He hadn’t gotten to the point of actually writing a list of pros and cons, but it hadn’t stopped him from making a mental list. The jeweler’s box had never been far from his hands like a token for good luck.

“Beautiful.”

He looked up to find one of the flight attendants standing over him, eyes riveted on the box. She seemed like a genuinely sweet girl but the last thing Ezra really wanted was her hovering over him. “Thank you.”

She smiled brightly. “Getting engaged soon?”

Closing the lid Ezra slipped the box back into his pocket. “No. We seem to have skipped the engagement and gone straight to marriage.” He smiled up at her, noting the blush spreading across her cheeks. “I don’t suppose you would mind getting me a bottle of water dear? I would greatly appreciate it.”

The flight attendant stammered a yes and disappeared. Smile fading away Ezra sank back into his seat, blowing out a breath. He hadn’t totally convinced himself that returning to Denver was the answer, but he had made his decision, for better or for worse.

-----

Chris relaxed further into the armchair, eyes closed, enjoying the feel of the fire on his bare feet. He had half a glass of the scotch Ezra preferred on the table next to him, untouched despite the fact he had poured it nearly two hours ago.

The sound of tires on gravel caught his attention and he slumped further into the chair. It was probably just Buck coming to make sure he hadn’t found the bottom of a bottle. Keys jingled in the lock and he shifted, still not making a move to get up. They all had keys to the ranch for one reason or another.

There was a scrape of the door opening and than closing followed by the quiet sound of tumblers falling into place again. The soft clunk of something heavy being set down on linoleum had his heart racing and he took a breath, fighting the urge to get up. His needs had nearly destroyed one of the few good things left in his life and he wasn’t going to push it again.

A warm hand touched his cheek and Chris turned his face into the caress. “Didn’t think you’d come back.” The soft touch vanished and Chris opened his eyes.

Ezra was standing close, the edge of his long dark coat brushing against his pants. He had removed one black leather glove, and Chris felt something freeze when he didn’t see the ring.

“I spent much of the flight debating whether or not coming back was the right thing to do. Even now I’m not sure this is what is best for me. My mother has been fond of telling me from a very young age I always wanted the things that would hurt me the most. It seems even with age I haven’t outgrown that tendency.” Ezra pulled his left glove off, the wide platinum band a rich copper colour in the firelight.

Feet dropping from the coffee table to the floor Chris caught Ezra’s coat and tugged until Ezra was kneeling over him in the chair, knees pressed tight against the outside of his thighs. He touched his fingers to Ezra’s cheek, brushing along the curve of jaw, the faint prickle of stubble making them tingle.

For a brief moment Chris paused when his fingers touched the wool collar of the coat under Ezra’s chin. Hating his sudden hesitation he brought his other hand up and undid the top button, fingers dipping under the wool to touch the warmth of Ezra’s throat. Another pause as a shiver ran through Ezra’s body and Chris went back to the work on the buttons, touching the chest underneath as each button was undone.

Once the last button was pushed through the hole the coat dropped open, dark fabric framing Ezra’s body. Chris curled his hands around Ezra’s hips, eyes falling closed against the warmth searing his palms even through the cloth separating them. Hands curling further he slid them up Ezra’s back until he touched the warm wool of Ezra’s coat, pushing slightly.

He felt Ezra twist against him as he shed the coat, Ezra’s stomach brushing against him and it was enough to make him freeze. Feeling the coat brush past his legs Chris pressed his forehead against Ezra’s chest, arms tightening around the familiar body. Strong fingers slid into his hair and he groaned as they rubbed at the knot of tension at the base of his skull.

Chris rubbed at Ezra’s shoulders when he felt him shift and couldn’t help but acknowledge the fact that Buck had been right, as he usually was when it came to relationships. He had been attracted to Ezra the moment he had me the man for the first time. Irritation had always led to attraction with him and Ezra had been irritating from day one.

Somehow, for that first year with Ezra he had managed to avoid the growing emotion he felt and could see with crystal clarity in Ezra’s pale eyes. That moment, in the kitchen of Ezra’s townhouse nine months ago, had been what had pushed him towards Mary. He knew if he thought about it enough he would be able to recall the slight flicker of hurt he had seen in Ezra’s eyes that morning and the thought of that was almost enough to make him feel sick.

Involving her had been a mistake. While he could admit she was attractive and not as insipid as many of the other women he had met since Sarah’s death, even that hadn’t been enough. She had been a minor nuisance, always prying for information she didn’t have any business knowing and then pushing for more nights together. And even the comfort she had given had been transitory at best. Despite the fact nothing sexual had ever happened between them he always left her house feeling guilty.

Inhaling deeply, the scent of Ezra, expensive soap, cologne and skin inundated him with predictable results. The smell of his lover and the warm weight against his body was enough to have his cock twitch and start swelling, wanting more of Ezra. Wanting more was impossible to ignore, when Ezra was pressed against him and wearing his ring. He had gotten the same thrill seeing the gold wedding band on Sarah’s slim finger, the tangible proof that she had chosen him when she could have done so much better.

Chris leaned back, smiling slightly as the fingers in his hair tightened, tugging just the slightest bit. It seemed Ezra was just as reluctant to let go. Hand sliding up he cupped the back of Ezra’s neck and pulled slightly. Ezra moved with the touch until their lips were barely touching, breath mingling.

Between one breath and the next they were kissing hard and hungry. Ezra’s fingers were tight in his hair, holding his head in place and it was a heady feeling, Ezra above him, with all the leverage and control.

Ezra’s mouth slid from his, lips brushing against the corner and along his jaw, teeth catching his ear for a moment before pulling back. He shifted against Chris, erection brushing against his stomach, a soft groan escaping. Filled with a sudden need for skin Chris raised his hands to Ezra’s shirt, fingers smoothing over the fabric.

He pressed his nose into the hollow at the base of Ezra’s throat, fingers working the buttons of the fine shirt with ease. Jerking it from his lover’s pants Chris pushed it back and laced his fingers together at the small of Ezra’s back, feeling content like he hadn’t felt in years. Lips skimming along the sharp edge of a collar bone he bit lightly where it ended just above Ezra’s arm.

Fingers rubbed at the underside of his jaw and he lifted his head. A soft brush of lips before Ezra kissed him, easy and sweet, fingers of his free hand stroking over his cheek. He fought the urge to tighten his grip as Ezra pulled away and moved around the coffee table.

The shirt dropped to the coffee table and Ezra’s hands dropped to his belt, nimble fingers easily dealing this the buckle. It followed the shirt to the table and as Ezra’s hands dropped back to the waistband of his pants the firelight caught the ring.

Chris was on his feet in a flash and he pulled Ezra back against him, lips falling to catch Ezra’s mouth, nipping once before his tongue teased at the inside of Ezra’s upper lip. He hadn’t forgotten how much he enjoyed being with Ezra, the overwhelming need he felt when they were together.

His hand stayed on Ezra’s shoulder as the man twisted from his arms to grab the quilt off the back of the couch and spread it over the sheepskin rug in front of the fire. The moment the blanket was down Chris stepped behind Ezra and slid his hand across warm skin, undoing button and zipper.

Hand sliding over tented silk and across a strong thigh he nuzzled at the fine dark hairs at the nape of Ezra’s neck. With one hand he managed to the rest of Ezra’s clothing off though Ezra helped with a wicked shimmy of his hips that had brushed against his cock, sending a jolt up his spine.

Ezra turned in his arms as he kicked his clothing aside, one hand drawing him close. He was dimly aware of Ezra’s hands sliding under his shirt, pushing it up and he broke away so he could pull it over his head. It dropped to the floor unheeded as those same hands curled around the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging. One slipped beneath, gently cupping his cock as the worn fabric was tugged down, and squeezed once. He jerked into the light touch, arm sliding around broad shoulders as he leaned in again for another kiss.

Once the pants were down Chris pressed down with his arm and they went to their knees, pressed together. Ezra’s cock was hard against his hip and he slid his hand between their bodies, thumb tracing over the damp head as he pushed Ezra back, following him until he was sprawled out on the floor.

“I’m glad you came back.” Not the words that really needed to be said but in the way Ezra smiled, a slow twist of mobile lips made him think that Ezra understood what he was really trying to say.

Ezra shifted, legs parting around him, eyes hooded and sultry. A tube of lubrication appeared and was pressed into his hand. He couldn’t help but grin, a look that Ezra returned. Of course Ezra would use his sleight of hand for something like that. Pressing kisses to forehead, cheeks and parted lips he dropped the tube by Ezra’s hip, palms itching with the sudden need to touch.

Kneeling between Ezra’s parted legs Chris slid his hands over smooth skin. His fingers moved along the curve of pectoral from where arms joined torso, thumbs brushing nipples into hardness.

He followed his right hand with his nose, sweat, clean skin and the smell of Ezra’s soap serving to push his arousal higher. His hands skimmed down Ezra’s flanks before cupping them around the flare of hips, tracing circles over arched bone and impossibly soft skin.

He kissed his way down his lover’s torso, nose following to Ezra’s navel. Always a sensitive spot he kissed and nipped at the shallow indent, feeling the muscles tighten and the hard bar of Ezra’s cock against his throat and chin.

Tracing his tongue around a last time Chris slid lower until he could feel Ezra’s manhood against his cheek, hot and breathtaking. He stayed that way for long minutes, acutely aware of the hand in his hair and the fingers tangled with his on Ezra’s left hip.

A deep breath and he shifted, pressing a kiss to the flushed head, tongue darting out to taste the pearl of fluid. The hand in his hair tightened and he slipped his hand off Ezra’s right hip, reaching for the lubrication. He fumbled the lid open one handed and squeezed some on to his fingers, mouth never breaking from Ezra’s cock.

Chris moved his hand, the inside of his wrist brushing against Ezra’s testicles and with a stuttered moan Ezra’s right leg bent. Foot flat on the floor opened him further and Chris brushed slick fingers over the exposed entrance in before pushing in with one finger.

Another finger and it brushed over Ezra’s prostate. Ezra jerked, a sound akin to a whimper falling from parted lips. He withdrew his fingers, them around soft skin before pushing in again with a third finger. Ezra’s hips flexed again, pushing his cock further into Chris’ mouth.

Drawing back until just the head was in his mouth Chris pressed his fingers against his lover’s prostate again before easing back, intent on driving Ezra to the edge. He alternated stimulating Ezra’s prostate with sucking at the head of his cock until Ezra was rocking between fingers and mouth, breathless pants filling the air.

Ezra’s body tightened and Chris drew back, depriving Ezra of his touch entirely. Grabbing the lubrication he spread it over his cock, eyes drifting over Ezra. His eyes were closed, lips parted, a flush suffusing his face and neck. He was alluring and brilliant in a way Chris would never be able to give voice to but he would have to find a way to tell Ezra.

Fingers dropping down he spread more lubrication on Ezra’s entrance before moving forward, manhood hinting at penetration. “Good?”

A nod and Chris pressed forward, one long slide until they were pressed together. Arms looped around his shoulders and a leg curled around his hip as Ezra pushed up against him. Lips touched his ear, a thick voice telling him to move.

The low husk touched something inside him and he moved, the unrelenting words driving him. He fought to keep it slow, wanting to use the physical gentleness in the hopes that Ezra would understand that the feeling spread to emotional aspects of their life too, but it was impossible with the words in his ear and the fingers digging into his back.

Chris came first, breath hissing out between clenched teeth. Taking a minute to gather himself together he batted Ezra’s hand away, fingers curling around the still hard cock. It was quick, he lost track of the strokes, caught up in watching Ezra when he came.

Nuzzling Ezra’s cheek Chris slowly pulled out and shifted just enough to grab the box of tissues off the coffee table. He cleaned them both up, knowing a wet rag would be better but not having the energy to get up to get one precluded him doing it.

Chris caught the edge of the blanket and pulled it over, pleasantly surprised when Ezra curled against his side, an arm over his chest. He turned his head, kissing the damp chestnut curls.

Within minutes of settling in Ezra was asleep, his breathing deep and even. Chris stroked a hand down Ezra’s back, fingers rubbing at the base of his spine. He was too old to be sleeping on the floor and was going to be sore as hell when he woke up but the pain would be worth it because Ezra was back.

-----

Hearing Buck’s laughter JD looked up from his computer, unable to keep from smiling at the sight before him. Ezra was talking to Buck, emphasizing his points with subtle hand gestures. Relaxing into his chair he watched the two men, glad that Ezra was back with them.

The month and a half Ezra hadn’t been in the office had been hell. Everyone had been on edge, Buck and Vin doing their best to run interference between Chris and the rest of the team. Their leader had been unusually ill-tempered and nearly impossible to deal with.

And then he had disappeared for a week. Buck and Vin had said he was off taking care of some personal business and when Chris had come back he had been more relaxed, the edge gone, though the tension was still there.

Three weeks later Ezra had come back and everything seemed to be back to normal. They all went out to the Saloon on Friday nights and were back out at the ranch on Sundays, just like it had been for almost the last four years.

A flash of light caught his eye and before he knew what he was doing JD was up on his feet, reaching out to catch Ezra’s hand. He yanked the hand towards his face, eyes riveted on the simple platinum band on Ezra’s left ring finger. It wasn’t the ring that was surprising. He had seen Ezra wear various rings in the nearly four years he had known the man, though they had always been more elaborate.

“Mr. Dunne, might I enquire as to your sudden fascination with my hand?”

Slanting a look at the man JD continued his examination of the ring, trying to figure out how it fit into everything. Like the others he had noticed Ezra’s slight withdrawal, but hadn’t really thought too much about it. They all had their off days. He hadn’t realized how upset Ezra was until the man had taken his leave. A month and a half later and he was back, happy again and with a ring on his finger that JD could only assume had something to do with his happiness.

“Did you go and get married while you were away Ezra?”

Ignoring Buck’s laugh at his words JD stared at Ezra. Ezra was smiling, the little partial curl of his lips that usually meant he was hiding something and had no intention of letting anyone in on the secret. “I suppose you could call it that, for lack of a better term.”

Buck laughed at the shocked look on JD’s face. “Don’t be so surprised kid. You can’t honestly tell me that you thought a fine looking man like Ezra was going to remain single forever.” He winked at Vin, knowing his lover was trying desperately not to laugh.

His gaze wandered to the door of Chris’ office where his friend was standing, unnoticed, watching everything. He could see the affection in hazel eyes, the slight smile easing some of the lines time and pain had put on the well known face. Chris met his eyes and he smiled, inclining his head towards the ring, bright against Chris’ dark clothing.

Chris’ gaze skittered to Ezra who was laughing as he fielded questions about who was wearing the other ring.

Buck nodded, understanding even though no words had passed. Chris had done the same thing with Sarah shortly before they had gotten engaged. There had been a fight about something that had somehow gotten blown totally out of proportion and they had avoided each other for nearly a week. After they had gotten everything resolved (with some help from him) Chris had done what ever he could to make Sarah happy and it seemed he was willing to do the same thing with Ezra.

“So Ezra, when are we going to get to meet your paramour?” Josiah grinned at Ezra.

Ezra leaned back against the desk. “Gentlemen, I would not introduce you to my blind, deaf grandmother for fear one of you would find some way to offend her. So no, I will not be inflicting the six of you on my lover.”

“I realize it’s a Friday afternoon boys, but I’m tired of watching you stand around wasting my tax money.” Chris couldn’t help but smirk when Josiah, Nathan and JD jumped, all of them oblivious to the fact he had been watching the whole encounter.

Vin glanced at the wall clock. “Yeah, but it’s a Friday at 4:45. We might as well call it a week and head over to the Saloon.”

Grinning Buck threw an arm around Ezra’s shoulder and dragged the smaller man to his chest. “Right. We haven’t had ourselves a proper welcome back party for Ez.”

Ezra ducked from underneath Buck’s arm. “A welcome back party at the Saloon. Lucky me.”

“Don’t worry Ez, we’ll do it right on Sunday out at the ranch. I’ll even bring you some of those alcohol soaked olives you love so much.” Buck glanced back at Chris. “Can we call it quits? I promise this will be the last time I ask.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “That’s an empty promise if I ever heard one. Get out of here, all of you. I’ll meet you there but I have some reports I need to get finished before Monday morning.”

Ezra settled at his desk pulling a file towards him. “I also have some paperwork to get done, so I shall be imposing upon Mr. Larabee for a ride to the Saloon as my car is currently at the garage.”

He ignored the laughter from Buck and Vin’s softer snicker, knowing they had seen through his lie. His car was safely at home. He had spent the night out at the ranch with Chris, the first time since their relationship had started. They had come into town together a calculated risk but one they had been willing to take. He had convinced Chris to not come in early and in turn he had been on time for maybe the third time since he had started working for the ATF.

They had run into Vin and Buck in the parking complex and since then Buck had been grinning like a moron all day. The others had been so surprised at his sudden return that they had all assumed Buck’s grin was because he was back, not that he had spent the night with Chris.

Focusing on his paperwork he listened as the others closed up for the night, JD’s happy chatter underscored by Josiah’s voice. There was an indignant squawk from JD as Buck hauled him towards the elevator and then silence, something rare in the area where Team Seven worked.

The soft click of a door closing caught his attention and he looked up. Chris was watching him, eyes dark in the dimmed lighting. “Already got those reports done?”

“It was mostly just signing my name, something even Buck can accomplish. Done?”

Ezra shut his computer down and jammed the files into his top drawer. “Nothing that can’t wait until sometime on Monday.” Standing he retrieved his cashmere coat from the rack and shrugged it on. “I must say, I’m glad everyone assumed Buck’s moronic grin had to do with me being back and not the fact he knew where I had spent the night.”

Shrugging Chris pushed the call button. “Buck manages to be helpful without really intending too.”

Ezra had to fight the urge to squirm when he felt Chris’ hand against his lower back as they stepped into the elevator. It was different, to actually be touched by Chris in a way that could barely been seen as intimate, to be touched outside what had been normal for them for so long. They were quiet in the elevator, space between them to maintain the façade of separation between them.

The parking garage was empty and Chris reached out, his hand brushing Ezra’s fingers. “Are you worried about telling the others?”

Ezra grinned as Chris unlocked the truck door. “Hardly. I have little doubt there is something you could teach the other five. I however, wouldn’t mind waiting a little before we tell them. Despite what some of you think, and despite my choice of employment, I do not always enjoy being the center of attention.”

-----

JD looked up from his beer, a warm feeling of contentment settling in his stomach. It was good to have everything back to normal. Even their seating arrangement was what it had always been. Chris was flanked by Ezra and Vin. Buck was sitting next to Vin, one arm draped over the back of his lover’s chair. Josiah was sitting next to Ezra with Nathan on his other side.

The same way it had been from the very beginning and it was right and he didn’t ever want it to change again.

Raucous laughter brought him back from his thoughts and he watched as Buck refilled all of their shot glasses with whisky, grinning broadly. He pulled his glass close, spilled whisky making it slippery. Spinning the glass in his hand he barely paid any attention to Buck’s overblown, slightly drunken welcome back speech.

They all lifted their glasses in a toast, knowing Buck would be offended if they didn’t go along with it. Just as he went to drink JD caught sight of a silver band on Chris’ right hand, nearly identical to the one Ezra was wearing.

He barely managed to swallow the amber liquid, feeling it burn the back of his throat as he continued to stare at the simple ring. In four years the only adornment he had ever seen Chris wear was a watch, black leather and steel. The presence of the ring was jarring, upsetting the careful balance he’d managed to establish after seeing Ezra back this morning.

His gaze wandered to Ezra’s left hand where it was resting on the table, the pale band of his ring glowing almost copper in the low light. Gaze darting back to Chris’ ring he was struck with the irrational thought that if for some odd reason Chris and Ezra were to ever hold hands the rings would touch, rubbing and scrapping together.

Ezra stood, smiling. “Well, gentlemen, I think I shall be retiring for the night. Twelve hours with you after nearly a month and a half of absence is enough to drive any man insane, so I shall bid you all a good evening.”

Pushing his chair back Chris stood. “I’ll see about getting him home. Sunday, as usual.”

Chris tossed some bills on the table before following Ezra through the close tables.

Hearing Buck laugh JD glanced at him. Buck was staring after Chris and Ezra, grinning like an idiot. A quick glance at Vin revealed he was grinning too, though he was much more subtle in watching the two men leave the bar.

JD frowned. There was something going on, something Buck and Vin knew about. He waited until the door had swung shut behind Chris and Ezra, counting to ten before he shot to his feet. “I just remembered there’s something I need to ask Ezra.”

“I’ll be right back.” Pushing back from the table he was on his feet and weaving through the tables, vaguely aware of the echoing sounds of two chairs scraping over the floor. He flung the door open, the cool air almost painful against his cheeks.

Rounding the corner of the building JD froze. The side parking lot was poorly lit, the only light coming from a streetlight at the corner. But even the watery, orange light was enough for him to see something he had never imagined.

Chris was leaning back against his truck, legs spread with Ezra between them. Ezra had his face pressed against Chris’ throat, arms wrapped around the lean body. One of Chris’ arms was around Ezra’s shoulders, his other hand sweeping up and down his lover’s back.

On the next upsweep Chris’ hand slid into Ezra’s hair gently tugging. JD watched as Ezra gave into the gentle touch, head falling back and Chris’ head dipped, lips brushing across Ezra’s mouth, sweet and tender.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and he was jerked back and pressed against the Saloon wall, Buck’s body hot against him. “What the hell is going on?”’

Vin was pressed against his left side, a finger raised to his lips. “Quiet for just a minute JD. “

The rumble of the Ram reached his ears and he watched as the truck pulled out of the parking lot. The moment it had disappeared from sight Buck eased back and leaned against the wall next to him, pulling Vin to stand between his legs. “Needless to say you weren’t supposed to see that.”

JD stared at his friends, his suspicions confirmed. They had known from the beginning what was going on and had kept it from the team. “You two knew all along didn’t you? And this has something to do with why Ezra was gone, why Chris took a week off. How come no one told us?”

Vin jammed his hands in his pockets. “Wasn’t our place to tell you JD. Still ain’t. All that matters is Chris and Ezra have gotten through some stuff and the last thing they need is to worry about what the team thinks. They’ll tell the others in their own time so just act like you haven’t seen anythin’, don’t push.”

Seeing the seriousness of the situation in two sets of blue eyes JD nodded. The team had become his family, was all he had left and he would do what he could to keep them all safe.

-----

Warm hands settled on his shoulders, tugging slightly and Ezra went with the movement. Lips brushed across his and he opened under the soft touch, feeling Chris press closer, cock half hard against his hip. He shifted, pressing back against Chris, a murmur of pleasure falling from his lips as the ridge of Chris’ cock pressed against his, spreading warmth through his body.

Ezra felt Chris pull back, a kiss pressed against the corner of his mouth, cheek and forehead before his weight and warmth was gone. He rolled into the warm indentation Chris had left in the bedding, knowing his lover wouldn’t be rejoining him. Once out of the bed it was nearly impossible to get Chris back. And especially not on a Sunday when they were going out with the team on an all day ride and the horses needed to be fed and watered.

The blanket was tugged up to cover his shoulders and he smiled into the pillow as Chris’ hands rubbed lightly at his back for a moment before vanishing. He dozed as he listened to Chris move around the room. As much as he would have much preferred a day with just the two of them he recognized the importance of Sunday team rides.

Ezra heard the door close and burrowed deeper into the bed, Chris’ sharp scent surrounding him. Life was good.

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