Chapter Text
It had been a month since Rose Tyler was almost sucked into the void and became stuck in a parallel world.
One whole month used to be equivalent to a day for the Doctor.
Now? It was a year, at least.
Perhaps more.
Every day, he mourned for his loss even though she still lived. But there was no possible way to reach her again — he had exhausted all hypotheses and possibilities within three days. So all he had was grief, self-loathing, and longing.
And one gruelling month later, he had enough.
Tears trekking down his face, he stormed into the console room, trembling. After wallowing in his room for a week, he had made a decision.
A deep, hard decision.
He pushed a few buttons, occasionally wiping his tears away and sighed. He couldn’t live without her. Genuinely — he tried. When he was drowning the Racnoss, he wanted to perish with them. What life was worth living if Rose Tyler wasn’t with him?
That woman Donna had given him a glimmer of hope, but the one day of companionship only returned him to the loneliness of being the last Time Lord. Rose had been right to be worried about him travelling alone.
Very right.
He had broken all his rules and turned into a person he wasn’t. His slaughter in front of Donna showed that clearly, but the actions that followed were far worse.
Far, far worse.
He had fully embraced the no second chances he had declared on the day of regeneration, and even that was wearing thin. He only realised the true extent of what Rose’s loss had done to him when he noticed that people started to look at him in fear rather than in awe.
He wasn’t the Doctor anymore. Not without her.
That was a week before today, which was followed by what humans could classify as a mental breakdown.
He completely lost it — screaming and shouting in the console room, begging for the TARDIS, the universe, deities, anything or anyone to bring Rose back to him.
When he tried to tear open the breach again, find any gap in the universe in a moment of desperation, that’s when he stopped himself and knew what he had to do to end it all.
To end his pain.
He was unsure, though, still feeling the responsibility of being the Last even with his need for relief.
It was like the Time War again, he thought to himself bitterly. An imposter acting as the Doctor.
His dilemma led to his reclusive week in his room, and after one final breakdown in which he sobbed and wailed for Rose as he buried his face in the shirt Donna had found, he knew he was a lost cause.
After hitting a switch, a metal headset dropped from the ceiling, chords streaming from it.
The Chameleon Arch.
Usually, he would shudder at the sight of it, feel sick in the stomach, but he could only look at it in awe on this day. It was his last salvation. His last hope.
As he walked towards the Arch, the TARDIS screamed at him, full of anger and fear. She didn’t understand what he was doing. He was abandoning his duties, his responsibilities as a Time Lord. He was going to do something horrible.
“Stop it,” he muttered tearfully, firmness and sharpness in his voice as he began to select ‘human’. She ignored him, continuing her rambling and outrage. The Doctor quivered, shaking his head.
“You don’t understand — it’s my only option,” he insisted, the tears unstoppable as they flowed down his cheeks.
Why couldn’t she understand that he couldn’t live without Rose? He wasn’t himself like this and didn’t deserve the privilege of being a Time Lord. Hell, that wasn’t even the primary reasoning behind his choice.
He hated being a Time Lord, now, after losing Rose. He always knew he would lose her, but experiencing it in such a horrifying way made him resent his title. Why did he have to keep losing everything he loved? Why couldn’t he be free from this burden and pain? Why was he never rewarded for everything he did for the universe? If he couldn’t have Rose Tyler, it wasn’t worth doing anything anymore.
The TARDIS sensed these thoughts and shrieked in distress.
No, he couldn’t do this! Her Doctor couldn’t abandon the universe, his duties. He couldn’t abandon her! Why, she demanded? Why? Why? Why? Why–?
“I can’t take it anymore!” the Doctor sobbed in a shout, slamming his hand against the edge of the console as his shoulders hunched over and he slumped.
For a few moments, the TARDIS was silent, her hum not even there as his choked weeping filled the space.
She wasn’t loud or angry with him anymore, but she still silently plead for him not to do it. She stroked his mind; pulsed the telepathic circuits. She tried to ease him, assured him that he could heal from his pain and suffering.
She was shocked to find that he blocked her off from his mind, humming in confusion. Why couldn’t she connect with her pilot? What was he doing?
He marched forth to the Arch, put the headset on with a shaky sigh.
“It’s okay, old girl,” he soothed. “This is for the best.”
He closed his eyes and Rose immediately came to mind, smiling at him in that wonderful way she always did.
His precious girl. His pink-and-yellow human.
“My Rose,” he exhaled with a grin. “I love you, and I hope you can forgive me,” he whispered, pressing the button and screaming out in anguish as his cells started to rewrite.
The Doctor died, and Alec Hardy was born.
—
In Broadchurch, twenty-nineteen, the TARDIS was hidden inside an old formation made of brick on one of the many hills that made up the beachside town.
Her blue complexion was covered with weeds, leaves, moss, algae, lichen, and mould, looking weathered and like a forgotten relic of the past. She emitted a low, quiet hum, having been running on minimal power for the last six years since she had been abandoned by the grief-stricken-turned-human Doctor.
The rumble of thunder and light patter of rain warned of an oncoming storm, dark clouds rolling over the night sky. Lighting lit up the landscape in beautiful purples and yellows, the rain worsening. It thundered down upon Broadchurch and the strikes came closer and closer.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit the TARDIS, making the old girl come into full power as she beamed brightly, shaking with ferocity. Inside the console room, the strike travelled down through the central console and into her Heart.
For a few seconds, it burst to life, and Vortex energy and Huon particles were emitted from her, swirling out of the machine. With a groan and one final flash of brightness, the TARDIS returned to her dormant state, crying out for her Thief.
She cried out for her Bad Wolf, the one that the Doctor needed to come back.
Hearing and feeling her desperation, the particles and energy swam across the night sky, searching for an opening in time to bring back their Doctor’s love to him.
—
In the parallel universe, twenty-eleven, Rose Tyler was in the Torchwood building, awaited by her team, friends, and family. It was their tenth attempt at using the dimension cannon, hoping that this test would finally bring her back to the original universe.
She and her mum were sitting in a conference room together, resting for a few minutes before Rose would need to do the jump. They had chatted a while about trivial things and what they were looking forward to in their weeks, establishing a sense of normalcy. But as their time drew to a near close, Rose started to talk about Torchwood and today’s trial.
“I don’t know what I’ll do if this doesn’t work, mum,” Rose sighed, looking up at Jackie with a frown. She returned to her an empathetic smile.
Rose had been working on getting back to the Doctor since the minute she’d arrived in Pete’s World. As much as she loved her mum, dad, and brother, her heart was with the Doctor and she wanted to get back to him.
“I know, love. You just gotta have faith. Took me twenty years to get back to Pete,” she sighed, squeezing her daughter’s hand affectionately.
“Not sure if he’ll want me when I’m old and wrinkly,” Rose laughed in response, fidgeting with the zipper of her jacket.
If only she knew that she would never be old and wrinkly.
“Of course he would, you plum. And as if he has any room to talk, being over nine-hundred-years old,” Jackie scoffed, rolling her eyes. Rose chuckled once more and glanced up to the clock on the wall, biting her lip.
“It’s time.”
“Let’s go, then,” Jackie smiled, hooking their arms together.
The Tyler women made the short journey down the hallways, returning to the laboratory they’d become so familiar with all these months of work and trials. Pete was in the corner, holding a now four-year-old Tony in his arms, and Mickey and Jake stood together, chatting with the team members. Everyone perked up at the sound of the door opening.
“Ready to go?” Mickey asked. Rose nodded.
“Yeah — just let me say goodbye to everyone first,” she grinned.
It had become a ritual practice for Rose, saying goodbye to everyone. Some people thought it was unnecessary, but for those who knew about what happened to this pink-and-yellow woman on a lonesome beach in Norway, they understood how important it was for her to have a proper goodbye.
Because if she found the Doctor, she wasn’t coming back.
“Rosie, will you come back like the other times?” her baby brother drawled as he barrelled into her legs, his wide, little eyes full of wonder and awe. She smiled back down at him in her arms when she picked him up, tucking away a few loose hairs and trying not to cry.
Saying goodbye to Tony was always particularly hard, hating the fact she was leaving him before he got to properly know her. But then again, it might make things easier for him to handle when he grows up, she always thought to herself. It had worked for her with her dad, at least until they travelled back in time and opened up some old wounds.
“Maybe, bub. But I have a good feeling about this one,” she whispered, pressing kisses all over his face and rubbing her nose against his cheeks.
“Okay, well I’ll miss you if you stay wherever you go,” he pouted. She pressed a firm kiss to the top of his head, inhaling his wonderful scent one last time.
“I’ll miss you too. Got to get going now,” she sighed, handing him back to Pete. She gave her mum a tight hug before pulling away, already having spent their time together alone.
“How we feeling about this one, boss?” Mickey asked as she stepped into the safety zone, holding the cannon in her hand.
“Well, he did say that he was up to his tenth face. Let’s just hope he hasn’t regenerated since we last saw him,” she quipped, sending a tongue-touched smile at her old friend.
Mickey smiled sadly at her, giving her a nod of approval once the team was ready to start. Rose punched in the coordinates and looked back up at everyone.
“Say hi to him for us,” Mickey said to her. She nodded.
“See you later, everyone,” she whispered, taking a deep breath in before hitting the button.
With a flash, she was gone.
Jackie wrapped herself around her husband, pressing a kiss to their son’s hair.
“I think that was her last goodbye, Pete,” she confided quietly, feeling tears in her eyes.
“I think it was too,” he whispered back.
In the few seconds that Rose travelled across dimensions, the energy and particles had slipped inside, quickly finding and latching onto the lost valiant child.
It wasn’t the canon that was guiding her anymore.
It was the Heart of the TARDIS.