Chapter Text
Lily rolled over, reaching out blindly to her bedside table to find her phone. The ringing had woken her up, she couldn't work out was time it was. She didn't bother opening her eyes to check the caller ID before she picked up, people that knew her didn't call in the night unless it was an emergency.
"Lily? You up?" A panicked voice came through the phone.
"Steve? I am now, what's up?" She asked groggily.
"It's Nick."
"What about him?"
"He's been shot."
Lily sat up, suddenly wide awake. She reached out and flicked on the lamp, illuminating the room in its warm glow.
"What?" She said in disbelief.
"He'd come to my apartment, and someone shot him."
"Do you have an ID on the shooter?"
"No, look Lily, I'm not sure Nick is going to make it, you need to get down here," his tone told her he wasn't overstating the severity of the situation.
"Right. Okay. I'm on my way."
Lily scrambled to find clothes, she grabbed the jeans and t-shirt she'd flung over the back of her desk chair earlier that night. Once she was dressed she grabbed her keys and set off.
She arrived at the hospital. When she got there Steve, Nat and Maria were standing in the corridor, sombre expressions on their faces.
"Guys?"
They glanced up, and Nat shook her head. Lily stopped dead in her tracks. He was gone. The combination of fear and grief made her feel sick. She looked around frantically, trying to locate the nearest bathroom. When she did she darted inside and locked herself in a stall. She lent over and heaved into the toilet. Everything she'd eaten that day came back up. When she was sure she was finished she rinsed her mouth out. She stared at herself in the mirror, taking in her tired, red-rimmed eyes.
All her emotions were fighting for attention but pushed them down. Now wasn't the time. S.H.I.E.L.D. needed their agent more than Nick needed his friend.
She stepped back outside and stopped in front of Steve.
"What do you know?"
Steve looked conflicted.
"What?" Lily asked, confused.
He looked up and down the corridor before pulling Lily into a store cupboard.
"Steve, what's going on?"
"He said he didn't know who I could trust," he spoke in a hushed voice.
"Okay," she urged him to go on.
"I don't know if I can trust you."
"Then why did you call me?"
Steve stopped. She had a point. Why had he called her? He looked up, searching her eyes for any indication that she couldn't be trusted. He came up empty, of course. This was Lily, his best friend and the one person he'd met since coming out of the ice that he'd come to trust explicitly.
"Okay," he started "Fury came into my apartment, told me S.H.I.E.L.D had been compromised. He'd been hit earlier that day. Then someone shot him and he handed me this." He held up a flash drive as he spoke.
"Someone? Did you get a visual, anything?"
"I went after him, but he was fast. He had a metal arm."
Lily's eyes widened. The same nauseous feeling she'd had a few minutes ago washed over her. She sprinted out of the store cupboard to find the toilet. She threw up again, clearly not everything she'd eaten that day came up the first time.
"You okay?" Maria asked.
Lily nodded.
"It's just something about hospitals," Lily lied.
Steve was summoned to the Triskelion by Rumlow, before he left he hid the drive in a vending machine. He clearly felt it was safer not to keep it on his person. Lily made the drive home. She lived in an early 20th century two-story house in the North West of the city, it had a sweeping front porch and an ornate dark wood staircase, as soon as she stepped it the front door on the viewing she knew it was her home.
She pulled up into her driveway and turned the engine off. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto the headrest.
She tried to sort the thoughts inside her head, deciding which order to address them in. One quickly rose to the surface. James. He was back. He was in D.C.
She was conflicted, S.H.I.E.L.D. deserved her attention, they needed to figure out why Nick had been targeted. But it was James. She continued thinking it over. If Nick was the only target James was probably long gone, and she'd already missed her opportunity. If not, there was a chance he'd make another appearance. Either way, there was very little she could do about it without attracting attention. She was going to have to keep her knowledge of James under wraps and figure that out privately. S.H.I.E.L.D. was going to have to come first.
Lily climbed out of the car. As she did, a shiver ran up the back of her neck. She looked around, sure someone was watching her, but the streetlights didn't reveal anyone. Maybe someone was hiding in the shadows. She shook her head. The night's events had just put her on edge.
She stumbled tiredly into her house, locking the door and chucking the keys into the bowl in the hall. She left all the lights off and went into the living room. Standing to the side of the window, she unholstered her gun out of habit and peered outside through the gap between the wall and the curtain. She stood there for a few seconds, nothing outside moved. But then out the corner of her eye, she was sure she spotted the glint of metal under one of the street lights. She darted out the front door, across the street, stopping under the same light.
"James?" She called out into the darkness. Hope was rearing it's ugly head again. But the flame was extinguished as quickly as it was ignited.
Nothing.
She walked down the gap between the nearest two houses, leaned back against the wall, and waited. Nothing else happened, the street was silent.
She must be going mad, she concluded.
She returned home, going straight upstairs to bed. She buried her face in her pillow and let out a frustrated scream. Even if she did commit herself to finding James, she wasn't sure she would be able to with her mind seemingly playing tricks on her.
She fell asleep fully clothed and didn't wake up until she heard banging on her front door.
She was confused and disoriented. She slowly opened her eyes and adjusted to the early morning light. Last night's events caught up to her. Then she registered the banging again. She snapped into reality and jumped out of bed, picking up her gun on the way. She went downstairs as quietly as she could, dodging the floorboards that she knew creaked. Through the frosted window, she could just make out a figure she recognised. Steve.
She relaxed and opened the door. He came straight in, closing the door in a hurry behind him.
He didn't waste any time explaining why he was there.
"I had a discussion with Pierce which was...interesting. And then I was attacked by Rumlow and his men in the elevator. Fury was definitely right when he said I didn't know who I could trust."
"We need to go and get the flash drive and see what's on there," she stated, he nodded in agreement. "Have you spoken to Nat?" Lily asked.
"Not yet. This is my first stop."
"Okay, well I think we need her. This seems like a spy's job, not a soldier's job," Lily muttered.
"Agreed. We'll collect the drive and head to hers," Steve replied decisively.
"Give me 20 minutes. Make yourself at home." She waved towards the kitchen. "I've got coffee, juice, food. Help yourself."
Steve smiled. "Cheers, Lil."
She ran upstairs and jumped in the shower. She was quick, straying from her usual, more lengthy routine. She washed, dried her hair and got dressed, pulling out the most low key clothes she could find.
She went downstairs where Steve was sitting with a glass of juice, as she appeared he poured one for her.
The atmosphere was tense as they finished their drinks, neither knew what was in store for them. However, Lily smiled and pulled some pastries from the cupboard. She waved them at Steve.
"Surprised you didn't sniff these out," she laughed.
Steve leaned over the counter, "what you got in there?"
She smiled, "something to eat on the journey."
They left the house and got in the car, as they pulled out of her driveway she couldn't help but look around for evidence that James had been there. Nothing, of course.
"You know, if you do this with me, they're going to come for you too."
Lily nodded in response. She appreciated his warning, but little did he know that she'd already spent the better part of 10 years looking over her shoulder.
They made it to the hospital and Steve went inside alone.
When he reappeared a few minutes later, Nat was with him. Lily's confusion must have been evident because Steve wasted no time filling her in.
As Lily was driving, Nat started telling her about the assassin.
"So the man with the metal arm, he's known as the Winter Solider. He's been around for quite some time apparently. Have you ever heard of him?" She asked.
"Uhhh... yeah. That name sounds familiar."
Lie. She knew that name because it's what she was called too. As Nat spoke she had picked up on the undercurrent of fear in her voice, and she couldn't help but wonder what she and Steve would do if she revealed her secret.
"You've heard of him?" Nat sounded surprised.
"Of course, I wouldn't be a very good intelligence agent if I hadn't. I heard he killed J.F.K, don't know how true that is though." Another lie. She knew it was true. She was with him.
Lily quickly steered the conversation to their plan of action. Finding out what was on that drive. They decided to head to the mall and use a computer there.
"So I'm the getaway driver?" Lily confirmed.
"Yep," Nat nodded.
"You know, I think that could've been the job for me in another life," Lily spoke with fake wistfulness.
"Well, how about you make it the job for you in this life." Steve smirked. They all laughed.
"Sounds like a plan," Lily replied as she parked the car, "I'll see you here in 15."
Nat and Steve got out of the car and disappeared out of sight, leaving Lily to think about James. She'd spent nearly 7 years trying to find him, and here he was in D.C. and she didn't know until he shot Fury. She slammed her head into the steering wheel in frustration.
"Urgh," she groaned. She could help but berate herself. She'd tried to keep track of possible targets over the years, whether they were politicians, scientists, or just someone with power. When they had been sent out on missions she usually knew who the victims were, which would give some indication as to why they were a target, so she'd looked for repeating patterns. And yet the latest target was right under her nose and she hadn't seen it coming.
She was still lost in thought when Steve flung the passenger door open. Nat climbed in the back.
"Get us out of here," Steve commanded.
She started the engine and left the parking lot.
"Where to Cap?"
"New Jersey."
Lily raised her eyebrows. That wasn't the answer she was expecting, but she didn't question it. She told Nat about the pastries in the bag on the back seat and she passed them around, they all needed breakfast.
They were half an hour into the drive when Nat leaned between the two front seats and spoke to Steve.
"Was that your first kiss since 1945?"
Steve blushed.
"You don't have to answer, but I feel like that would be an answer," she continued.
Lily waited for his reply. She was intrigued to hear his response and very confused about what had happened in the shopping mall.
"No, it wasn't," Steve finally retorted.
Lily laughed. "Have you been dating, Cap?"
He went red again, and neither of them pressed the subject.
Not long later they pulled up to a deserted army base. Steve looked around as if he recognised it. Lily wasn't sure what they were looking for, but she scanned the area, taking it all in. Finally, Steve pointed at a building.
"It's in the wrong place," he clarified.
Steve hit the lock on the door with his shield, and it clattered to the ground, the three of them walked cautiously inside. Within a few minutes, she spotted Steve pulling back a bookcase, revealing an elevator.
On the floor below was an abundance of ancient computer equipment. But then she spotted the port for the flash drive, just as Nat did. It was modern and out of place. Nat plugged the drive in and loaded the programme.
Lily watched in horror as a computerized Arnim Zola revealed that Hydra was still active, it wasn't news to her, but Steve couldn't believe it. He then went on to describe their plan. Lily's head hurt. Here was another thing to add to her growing list of problems.
And then, just as she thought it couldn't get any worse, Natasha announced that there was a missile incoming.
The next few minutes were a blur of noise and debris. Somehow Steve managed to get the three of them out alive. They were filthy, and Lily had a cut along her hairline which was bleeding profusely, but other than that they were okay.
"I'm guessing the car isn't an option," she shouted over the noise to Steve, as she looked towards the pile of rubble where the car had been parked.
He shook his head, and they ran.