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She still remembers the first day they met. She looked into his eyes and felt the world in slow motion.
But now, seeing him behind bars, she feels her head spinning. It makes her feel sick.
He senses her staring down at him. As raises his head, his eyes keep shut.
"You could have told me" She tries to sound strong but her voice betrays her.
She searches for a light behind his eyes when they finally open up. She finds nothing.
"I tried to be something... someone better and ended up being nothing. I never should've let you get close to me " She clenches her fists at the sound of his voice.
She wanted to hit him right there, but without intention her words are what end up hurting him the most.
"I can't even look at you without feeling sick. I don't know this pathetic man in front of me." She raises her voice "I almost feel sorry for you, whoever you are!"
She knows it's unfair, but right now she doesn't care. He made her love someone that didn't exist. Someone who was dead!
"I lied about who I was and about what I did but you must know I never lied about us. How I fell for you. I'm so sorry that I made you love a lie. You have every reason to hate me but just know I lov-" She interrupts him before he goes any further.
"Stop! Please.... I beg you, stop" the tears now falling uncontrollably "Please don't say it, because I don't know if I can say it back."
She turns around and walks away. But just before she reaches the gate she ears a week whisper 'I love you'.
Now back at Skyhold, he sits in a corner by the window, inside the tavern. He can't still believe she took him out of prison. He looks outside the window, without truly looking, and thinks of her. How her lips burned against his skin, how she used to trace the line of his neck. How perfectly her petite body fitted against his. He realizes how hard he wants her to want him once again.
Outside the leaves dance, on the ground, as the wind quietly sings. He sees her sitting alone, book in her lap, her arms pressing down the blanket that falls around her body perfectly.
It's now or never, he thinks to himself.
With every step he took his heart got tighter .
"My lady I come in peace." he says holding his hands up.
She rushes to close the book and look up at him.
"Oh Blackwall. You're here, good." her voice trembles " I wanted to apologize ... for what I said to you that day. I'm sorry for what I said, it was unfair."
"No, my lady. I'm sorry!" he takes a deep breath "I apologize for lying to you, for dragging you into this mess. I apologize for letting you find me and for hurting you. I'll never forgive my self for that."
"Blackwall," She rises from her seat but before she can say something else he continues.
"I apologize for all of the wrong I did. But I will not... and will never apologize for loving you"
He stays really still as she grabs him warm, strong hands.
"I'm glad you feel like that. Maker, I know nothing can be like it was, but nothing is stopping us from making it better, right? "
She gets closer. Her smile makes him feel warm inside.
"How... how can you forgive me. I hoped you would but I know I don't deserve it. I'm a bad man."
She puts her cold hand on his face and says " You're not a bad person Blackwall. You are are a good man who made bad decisions. What you chose to do next is what defines you. You joined the inquisition, helped hundreds of people in need. You have people who love you and always will support you. You confessed your crimes and tried to correct the shit you done. Now, to me that doesn't sound like a bad person. It sounds like a pretty good one, and that's who you truly are. Besides, everyone deserves something to make them look forward to tomorrow." While sliding her hands to his neck she lets out a small laugh and says "So you're stuck with me. I love you and always will, my stinky old man."
She made him laugh, for the first time in a long, long time. And it felt good.