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Chai Tea (Choke me)

Summary:

Leon is a new hire at Chris's Cat Cafe! His first job since moving; fresh start since leaving the police force. The patrons are all nice, but one catches his eye.

Wesker is a jaded aspiring poet trying to get his book published. He loves cats, yet the voices in his head DO NOT. Out of spite, he visits the cafe almost daily. A new barista might make the yelling quiet down, if only for a moment.

Notes:

I will add trigger warnings before each chapter if there's something serious for my more sensitive viewers. I have triggers too, so I get it.

We never really get to see how the characters interact with each other when they're not fighting for their lives, so I had to make up most of their personality on my own. They're all good people. I love all my babies.

Triggers for this chapter: mentions of a cat's weight/obesity.

Chapter 1: First day snippet

Chapter Text

Slow day. Slow first day. This is cool. Leon could handle it. Leon, you got this.

 

A chonky rescue tabby, Nemesis, is at the rookie's feet, playing with the laces of his Doc Martins. Chris took one look at them when Leon walked in and made a shitty dead meme reference. Old man.

 

Nemesis squints his one eye, and he playfully yowls in the silence as the lace is finally caught between two paws. The only two patrons in the building look up at the noise, but at Leon's awkward wave, they continue typing away at their laptops.

 

Leon shakes his head and grins at the plump grey tabby. He crouches down behind the counter and pats Nemesis' head softly, to which said cat lets out a surprised 'meep'.

 

The door bell jingles and Leon slams his head against the counter trying to crane his neck to see. Claire! Her hair is in a high ponytail, which bounces with her excited form as she dances toward the new hire. 

 

"Leeeeoooon!!! You made it! I told you it's perfect for a laid back job. Or... Purrfect? Haha! That was terrible!" She exclaims delightedly at Leon's groan. "Chris needed new workers and Piers is on vacation right now, so it's you, me, Ada, and Jill tonight. We have a full staff so that we can train you, close up the store, and be out at a reasonable time. Plus wrangle the kittens and old-timers into eating their dinners."

 

"And I'm... Uh... Nemesis got out of the cat room. He scratched the shit out of me when I tried to put him back. He doesn't like me as much as X and the kittens do." Leon mutters sheepishly, mildly afraid of the big cat. "A few of the patrons tried to help but he threatened them with claws and teeth, too."

 

Ada comes from the back with fresh danishes and cookies neatly arranged on a metal tray. She looks down at the blob of cat and clicks her tongue. The cat begrudgingly mewls and waddles over to the Cat Room door to the left of the group. Claire hurries over and pushes the door open, swiftly scooting Nemesis' cat butt inside before the Licker kitten twins can rush toward the entrance. 

 

"You could have called me Leon. I would've helped." Ada says softly. She tugs on her friendship bracelet that she made for each of her associates, reminding herself to make another for Leon. Maybe a green one? With little cat charms made out of sparkly resin? 

 

"Yeah, but you were making food and I didn't want you to get like, cat germs or whatever all over you. That's not sanitary, right?"

 

"It's also not sanitary to let them into the area where patrons are eating. You get to wipe all the tables and touch points now, dingus." Claire bonks Leon on the head with her fist. Gently, of course. 

 

___

 

Brushing and managing the cats is... An ordeal. Leon quickly learns the details about each cat, and how to care for them specifically.

 

The Licker twins are crazy. Tiny brown Bengals, also know as the destroyers. They climb up and down the cat towers and leap across the room, shelf to shelf with lightning speed, with no care about their safety. They always refuse getting brushed, and fight tooth and nail if threatened with the comb, instead preferring to groom each other with their abnormally long tongues. They were abandoned in a trash bag behind Chris's apartment. Now they're inseparable little monsters who dominate the cafe.

 

Nemesis is a plump little man. The newest rescue, who Chris adored as soon as he set his eyes on him. 'He's so chonky... Chombkey! Claire, thicc!" Chris has him on a special diet and exercise plan though, don't you worry. He is a master escape artist and is unstoppable when he sets himself up with a goal. He is also an old Persian with a handful of problems. He has a missing eye, and his other eye needs droplets of some kind. Claire or Chris usually handle that though. His tail was broken in three places and healed wrong, so it's a zig zag sorta thing at the moment. And his weight... It's being worked on. Leon can't stop laughing at the videos Ada shows him of Nemesis on the little treadmill underwater. The poor cat's smashed face lights up with a mixture of joy and terror.

 

And then there's X.

He's a good cat, just creepy. He follows Leon all over, his paws audibly padding on the hardwood floor. He and Leon usually sit in the sunlight under the windowsill in the Cat Room when Leon is on break. He sketches while the big cat purrs, his tail patting Leon's leg in a rhythm. Thump. Thump. Thump. He's a tuxedo oriental shorthair. Very elegant and proud. He showed up at Chris's door one day and slid right into his apartment. He has a missing ear, but he loves to wear kitty clothing and hats. At least, Leon thinks he does. He can never tell. Good cat, just creepy.

___

Leon closes the shop for the first time and high fives the girls as they walk out. He has cat hairs all over his pants, but he is happy and content.