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You like travelling around, it gives you new insight in your life, plus you find more people and things for you to record and draw. Just a week ago though, a friend from Fontaine had told you about an art convention that features many artists that you admired. For you, this is a solid reason to go there, thus a ship ticket has been bought, and you're leaving in another week.
So yes, you're leaving from Liyue. It has been a known fact around your Liyue friends as they tend to drag you out more often, wanting to spend time with you more before you're gone. It would be nice if the same case applies to your dear lovely crush, Xiao, the Vigilant Yaksha himself.
You've met Xiao after hearing about him from the traveller. Quite determine to paint an adeptus, it was the nearest and plausible model you could get. You don't have to climb mountains to meet him, and you're staying in Wangshuu Inn for the time being. Well, that's what you thought, until you've meet the person itself that's it.
When you explain your intentions, Xiao only looks at you, puzzled, while chomping down the almond tofu you've prepared. Silently thanking Verr and Traveller for the help, knowing that he wouldn't even show up if you did not get a plate of it. With a hint of desperation, you begged him to be a model for about 10 minutes a day, silently questioning whether he will comply your request or no.
When he finished eating, plate set down on the railing, quote, "I do not engage with mortals, my presence would hurt and corrupts them," he turned around from you, "leave."
"How about 5 minutes then?" You tried to bargain, "I will sit down at least one meter apart from you, would that be alright?" Though you don't quite understand why would being with him could 'hurt' you, he seemed serious about it.
To say Xiao was surprised is an understatement. Never he met someone so stubborn on drawing *him*. They're not doing this for money, nor for fame, they just wanted to record his existence. Baffled, he could only stay silent before sitting on the railing, wind blowing playfully on his hair. "Fine," he crossed his leg on top of the other, "make it quick, I still need to do some more exorcising after this." Letting out a breath and sit still, looking away.
You blinked twice before scrambling to get out your canvas out of your bag, grabbing a pencil and started sketching.
Due to your limited time, it took longer than you thought, well not that you mind it. Sometimes you could find yourself admiring him more than you grazing the canvas with pencil. What could you say? He's quite a sight to see after all.
Small conversations started when you meet him injured, clothes dirty. This sight made you worry as you get out some alcohol and bandages that you keep from your journey. "You do not need to treat me," looking a bit annoyed, "this is nothing for me, just get on with your drawing" he said harshly.
You just stared daggers at him, not buying any of his words. "Please, just because you're used to it doesn't make it any better," you stretch out your hand out, asking for his hand, "if you're going to leave and do more purging, I would rather have your wounds patched up." He stared; eyebrows furrowed. Still unsure about this decision, he ended up putting the wounded hand on top of yours.
The five minutes were already up, but you insisted on treating every wound you could see. Using the alcohol-drenched cotton, you pressed on the bleeding wound on his upper arm. He didn't even flinch at the contact, staring on another direction, a puzzling look on his face. You don't know what he's thinking about but being close with him does things to you that you really do not appreciate. Alas, you bandaged his arm and tied it on a tiny bow.
"Alright, it is done." You stepped back from him, taking one more look at him to make sure you got everything. "Thank you," Xiao said, gaze meeting your eyes, "How are you feeling?" he asked you. Now it's your time to be confused, what kind of question is that? Do you perhaps looked off? Then you remember the first time you met him. He said something about his being corrupting you or something. Perhaps it's time for you to ask about that.
"I'm feeling quite alright, is this about the corrupting thing?" his gaze dropped, "Quite frankly, I do not feel any worse, may I know what is up about that?" Not meeting your gaze, he spoke. About his karmic debts and how it could affect you. How it has hurt people before.
You listened attentively, having heard something similar when you were at Mondstadt, when people got corrupted by another being. Perhaps it's because you held a pyro vision, sewed into your right-hand glove. A prove of enhanced strength fused with your body.
"Well, as it seems that our encounter does not hurt me, would it be okay if I took more of your time?" nervously, you asked, "also, please be more careful. If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to come to me, I might not be able to compare with your strength, but healing is something within my capability." You gestured to your vision, "the feeling is a bit nasty though, I'm not sure if you're okay with me using it on you, so yeah."
"Nonsense, I do not want to take any chances-", "Xiao, please we've been here for almost 30 minutes, and I do not feel any changes-" *except this warm and familiar feeling that you know, oh so well* "-if anything, you probably need to have more interaction." You said, rolling your eyes.
Tch. What is this human talking about, he thought. He could just leave now and never see them again. Still, it is true that they are not affected, plus they hold a warm and steady presence, which Xiao finds himself to be just a bit comforting. Perhaps he has let his guard way too soon, it seems that the encounter with traveller did soften him up.
"Do what you want," he hopped off the railing unto the floor, "but I must leave today, for the night is getting busy. We shall meet again tomorrow." And so, he left into thin air.
From that day onwards, your meeting has turned into chatting sessions, mostly you are asking him about Liyue and telling your day. He would answer before going back to silent, which you're used to by now, listening to you rambling about something or dwelling in the comfortable silence. The sessions became longer and longer, it is now determined by how tired you looked or if Xiao wanted to do purging earlier.
It has become a habit for you to check on his injuries and heal him with your vision, for the smaller ones that's it. Sometimes he would come with full on bleeding wound, making you panic while trying to heal the wound and bandaging it at last. Despite being wounded, he would always come around for you to heal and perhaps draw him, if able.
You almost died of a heart attack when he smiled at you, listening to the stories of your silly friends. He must have felt embarrassed, because you definitely let your mouth hang open a bit too long, still staring at him. "Stop staring mortal, continue with your painting." he scoffed, cheeks dusting with pinkish tone. You smiled and laughed at him pouting, before applying more colours to the canvas.
Without thinking much, you softly say, "What can I say, you are a sight to be seen, Xiao." You could've sworn that you're hallucinating when his ears became red and averted his eyes to the mountains on the side. That is unforgivingly cute. Dying from cuteness doesn't sound so bad if it's Xiao.
At this point, you have finished your painting of him. He approved of it, since he did not comment much on the outcome. "Xiao," eyes locked on yours, 30 centimetres apart, "can I do more drawing of you?" you asked, a hint of desperation underneath. No, this is not your usual 'I want to record' kind of thought, it is a selfish desire of yours to spend more time with him. One eyebrow raised, "Is one painting not enough for you?" he asked, feeling quite unsure himself. You pressed your lips together, deciding that yes, you must make an excuse.
"I need more materials-" *what a half-assed excuse* "-if you're alright with being here with me, of course." You're staring at your finished painting, unable to face him, feeling guilty for lying through your teeth. "I'm thankful for all of the time we spend together, please forgive my selfish request." you blurted out, half-panicking at your own words.
"I will still be here every day," you heard him, "you can do whatever you like." You whipped your head faster than ever, shocked, but you're just staring at the particles he left. Huh. Well, that turned out way better than you thought.
You've meet with him every day, drawing, chatting, occasionally help him fight. Ever since, it gives you more memories of him, more of how he is, and more on how you fall even deeper for him. It is a slow and delicate process, yet it felt final.
It is there when you're looking at him, listening to his stories of the past. It is there when your fingers linger just a bit longer after healing him. It is there when you both stare on each other’s eyes, no words leaving, seemingly stopping the time of the world. You could feel yourself thinking about staying in Liyue, living here, spending every second you could with him, no matter if it's a silent conversation or an actual banter with Xiao.
Despite, the fact that you're a traveller, and despite the fact you know that you're going to leave sooner or later. You dream about it, feed on the comfort and the peace it brings you.
With this, you can positively say that you are in fact, in love with the dearest Xiao.
Well now, back to the present. You've just told Verr that you're leaving to Fontaine, thanking her for the job she had given you, and a room to stay. She's surprised, at first, before letting out a sigh.
"You haven't told him yet, have you?" she asked, smiling sadly. You probably look stupid and rude when you stare at her for about ten seconds, mind running through things that you've thought again and again. Yeah, you haven't.
"No, not yet. I am planning to tell him this evening, I still have a week after all," you avert your eyes, "beside it's not like he would care much, I'm not leaving forever."
"What comes might surprise you then, as he seems to take a liking to you." You only gaze at her, not quite believing the words. Yes, sure, you have been close for the past months, but would he have the same feeling that you do? Not a chance. He has not implied anything romantically involve, even when you tried to flirt with him. He usually just scoffs or decided to leave immediately, which makes you stop doing it.
"Thank you for your reassurance, although you might be giving too much hope at this point." You said, giving a sad chuckle. Walking to the stairs that you know just a bit too well.
"You are... leaving?" his face warps in a state confusion and what seems to translate as some sort of anguish. Looking at his face brings you more guilt than you initially thought, still, you look at him, wanting to drill it into your head. Just before it became a burning memory. "Yes, I want to continue my travelling, it is what I want to do after all, to record things, to create." Inside, you are currently contemplating whether you want to bring up the fact that you're in love with him. It is a last effort you want to make, just a week away before departing.
Xiao is silent, and its sharpness is cutting your own heart. He seems to be deep in thought, eyebrows furrowed, before finally dropping a straight face; a way of him to stay on guard, you've learned that with the time you spend with him.
"Xiao," you're feeling braver with the emotions twirling inside of you, "I need to tell you something important." He stares daggers at you, seemingly upset, "Just before you're leaving? You mortals really lack any decent manners." That sentence stabs you deep, making you clutch on your clothes, gripping it tightly.
Not this again. He has been talking to you without putting a 'mortal' or a 'human' barrier lately, you didn't think he would react rather harshly to this separation. "Well, never mind then I suppose. I still have a week here, Xiao. Forgive me that this does not meet your standard." You silently thanking whatever thing that makes you strong enough to not let the tears drop down to your cheek. Your vision is getting a bit blurrier though.
"I wish you the best, Xiao." As you turn around, he grips your shoulder, not letting go.
"Would you at least tell me the 'important' thing you wanted to say?" You froze, *what in the actual name of archons should you say in response to that*, you shakes your head, "It is nothing."
"Both you and I know it is not nothing."
Your tears are just not compromising with you, as they fall from your eyes. You are dumb, and an idiot. He might not love you, but he still cares you to some form. He deserves to know that you've been hiding this feeling for way too long. It's almost a year after all.
Without even attempting to hide your ugly, crying face, you turn around and open your mouth.
"Xiao- I, I really, really like you," you're staring at his shocked face, but that really doesn't stop you from talking, "I am talking about the romantically involved kind of like, no, I love you." Now you avert your gaze when his hand drops down. Oh boy, you're screwed. "Forgive me for, having these feelings. And also, for telling you this late, just a week before going away," you're now crying hard at this point, "I really didn't find a good time to come clean to you at all," your tears are getting worse at this point, "Thank you for everything, Xiao." Your hand is gripping tightly on your clothes, while the other profusely wiping the tears, determined to make them stop.
"You don't have to respond to this confession, sorry for being selfish," you take a big amount of breath, "If you don't want to spend more time with me or need time to process, that is also alright." And that's your final say in this.
When you look up, there's only thin air between you and the dead of night.
You're leaving in 5 days, you are eating lunch with Xiang Ling on her restaurant, wanting to have one last taste before going to Fontaine. When you got back, you wait on his usual spot until you almost pass out the railings. Thinking that perhaps Xiao is cutting you off, a hopeful part of you wanted to believe that he just needs more time. It has only been 2 days after all.
You're leaving in 3 days, taking the look of Wangshuu Inn once more, silently begging that you would find Xiao on the roof top, as the usual. You're out of breath when you climb the final stairs, only to find no one and nothing there. You waited again, this time opting out when the moon has set up on the sky, feeling the dread and hopelessness settling in your stomach.
It is only a day before you leave, tomorrow night you're going to take that boat to Fontaine and discover new lands. Never have you felt more heartbroken to leave a place than before. Your journey from your home, Sumeru, was exciting when you went to Mondstadt for the first time. When you left for Liyue, it was the same excited feeling you're familiar with.
This is not what you would call that at all.
Verr only watch in sadness, knowing how stubborn Xiao could be. This might not be the best time for that, but you're not going to complain about it when you're the one decided to leave.
Out of your own desperation, you find yourself walking to the rooftop, finding nothing, which has been a new routine for the past 6 days. You decided to sit down on your usual spot, when you were drawing him for the first time. And then you cried. Because how much of your anguish could be formed with words really? You cried and you cried, not knowing that a presence has taken a form.
Xiao was flabbergasted when you told him that. He is sad and angry at the same time when you told him you're leaving, in a week too. Then you told him you love him. How the hell does he responded to that? You're crying. This is too much for him to handle, feelings are confusing after all. And so he left, when he opened his eyes, the sight of Jueyun Karst is right before his eyes.
He can't bring himself to meet you, seeing that you're hanging out with your friends, not wanting to ruin the moments you have with them, before you're leaving from Liyue. Right. You're leaving. And you love him. Does he like you back though? That is a question that he has long avoided. Verr had brought it up once, even the Traveller asked the same thing to him. The truth is not something he seeks, yet it seems to be an urgent matter at the moment.
He thinks of your encounters, it is nice to talk with you, and he does get these weird flips on his stomach sometimes. And he thinks back when you treated him with kindness, all those times you healed him, despite you being tired after work.
The times he wants to hold your face gently when you're laughing softly, telling your day as always. And how you would always looks interested in hearing him talking about the past, or about anything really. Reminiscing all his memories with you, it really made his heart ache for spending more time with you.
A flash of impure thoughts flash before his mind, making him do a mental slap and remind himself that he needs to think about something different. Your hands tracing his bodies, healing him, a pure act indeed. Yet, that's what drove him mad on some of the nights, having to do things to relieved himself.
No. Attraction does not mean love, he needs to clear his head. As he draws out his mask, another night of purging is on.
He decided to talk with Verr Goldet. It is nerve wrecking in many ways, but he needs to sort this out, and Verr is one of his best bet. So, he approaches her, early in the morning when you're not awake yet. Verr only gives a knowing smile, as he makes steps towards her. "I need your assistance," he said, hands fidgeting uncharacteristically, "It's about them, I am not sure what kind of feelings I have towards them, and they are leaving Liyue-" He might be panicking a bit here, rushing, "-it's very sudden, but you're a human, and mortal. I wish to hear your wise words regarding this matter."
"What do you wish for them, Xiao?" Verr asks. He blinks once, twice, "I..wish them happiness..?" he says, still unsure. "Do you think of them as a part of your life, Xiao?" she looks at him, smiling slightly. Xiao is at a loss of word, but he thinks back to your soft, smiling face and utter a yes. "Well, you could tell them that," Verr eyes glinting mischievously, "last but not least, do you desire them, in any way? Including some 'mortal desires' that you're suppressing?" And his face set ablaze with that one question. Verr seems satisfied with his reaction and laughed understandingly.
"Well then, the mighty Yaksha, you should have your answer now."
You wiped the tears off your face, feeling hollow. Letting out a sigh, you decided to go back to your room and get some actual sleep. Before you could stand up, a brush of wind you know too well makes an appearance behind you. You're freaking out, positively going through the five stages of grief, freezing on the spot. Mouth hanging open, not knowing what to say.
"Why are you here? This is very late at night." He was going to your room to finally tell you after trying to delay the inevitable. Didn't expect to find you on the rooftop though, crying your heart out silently. "Hello, Xiao," you manage to utter out, "I was waiting for you, as usual," you let out a sad chuckle, "I didn't think you would actually show up though today." Thinking about the last few days of waiting and just yearning for his presence, so at least you could apologize or bask in his presence, instead of just lost in the sorrow you have.
"About your confession-" you tensed up at the mention, immediately cutting him off- "Ah, please do not worry about it, as you don't seem to feel the same way," *you are just spiting words now*, "please forget about it, it was a mistake on my behalf." And that's it, that's the end of everything. You're leaving tomorrow, Xiao got a closure, you're going to miss him dearly every single day, while dreading on what could've happen-
A pair of arms hug you.
What.
"Stop speaking." Well, that makes you shut your mouth quickly. The warmth of his body only makes you relax and cry at the same time. Is he trying to break you even more? *This is really not fair.* As tears form on your eyes, so does he start speaking.
"I want to be with you, Y/N. Feelings are hard, for me, and forgive me if I made you shed more tears than you should. I do like you, your presence is, comforting, to say the least," his arms tighten on your waist, you could feel his breath on your neck, tickling you, "I am upset that you are leaving, but please do remember that, if you ever run into trouble; call my name, Xiao, and I will come to you, no matter where you are, I **will**, come to you," your tears are running down your face, sense of relief fills you, "And, if you ever want to go back to Liyue, I will be happy to spend the rest of my life with you."
You laugh at his confession, it feels way too much like a dream after all, "Xiao, that sounds like a marriage proposal." "Tch. So be it then, I do not plan on being with someone else after all." Now, that was something else, the realization seems to sober you up. He is serious about this. Suddenly, the warm breath on your ear is sure doing something else to you, sparking a kind of need that has been suppressed for too long. You, feeling guilty, and the frustration from not actually having him doing the touching.
"Xiao," feeling a bit needy, you finally face him, "would you like to join me in bed?" Your hand gently cups his face, rubbing circles on it. "If not, that is also okay," You might be too forward right now, but it's better than regretting it later, "we could always, cuddle and all." Giving him a reassuring smile.
You didn't expect him to come forward and kiss you on the lips, hungrily, adding to the shock factor. He slips his tongue, asking permission, and you let him inside, dancing and rubbing with your own. Hand resting on your waist, while the other holds your cheek. When you break the kiss and gasp for air, his eyes are staring at you, full of wants and lust. "Close your eyes," darkness engulfs you, "we're going to your room." When you open your eyes, you're beside your bed, facing the window, with Xiao bathing on the moonlight, looking as beautiful as he can be.
"Dearest," his hand tracing the shape of you face, giving you warm feelings in your stomach, "Would it be alright, if I make love with you?" Oh, the gentleness of his tone, coupled with how close you are right now, "Yes, please do, Xiao." You *beg* at him, *just how desperate are you for his touches? * Mouth meeting mouth again, claiming each other as theirs. Backed away slowly to the edge of you bed, you sit down and enclose your arm around his neck, dragging him into the bed. He latches on your neck, giving gentle kisses to it, before started sucking and doing small bites. He bites on a spot, making your hips jerk forward, loving the sensation.
You return the gesture in form of small kisses on his neck, seemingly to arouse him as he leans more into the touch. He jerks when you bite down, looking at you confused. "Want to mark you," kissing the red skin, "want everyone know that we're together." Your eyes looking determine, meeting his half lid eyes. "You..do you even know what are you doing to me?" he gives more kisses to your cheek, hand tracing your clothes, "Can I take these off?" you giggle at him and help him to take it off. You tug at his clothes, asking the same thing and gets rewarded with the sight of his pecs. He is very fit, alright. Brushing your hand against his chest, breath hitching. "You are very beautiful," he cups your chest, playing with the nipple, "so soft..." Kisses are given to your chest area, appreciating the sight before him.
The accidental brush of your thigh against his crotch erupts a delicious moan from him. It burns your core, deciding to grind more, before he holds you still. "I want to be inside of you, is that okay?" His hand tracing your waist, playing with the curves. Eyes focus on you, as he takes your hand and kiss the back of it. Warm fills up your head to the brim, it's sending you to a fuzzy state of mind.
"Yes, Xiao. Make love to me *please*." Breathless, you still kiss him anyway while shimming down your undergarments. You eventually help him get his off, as he seems to have trouble with removing it. You gulp down at his member, nervous now that it's happening, right now. "I will try being gentle, love" he says, you open your thighs apart, presenting yourself to him, "I'm all yours dear."
Xiao's heart tug with the sincerity of your words. He should've confronted his feelings ages ago, would've saved many tears and sleepless nights. He brought his hand down to your crotch, gently circling at it, eliciting pleasure through your body. It does feel different, compared to your own hand. His finger prods on the entrance, and one is inserted. He drags on you walls, fucking it slowly, deciding that you are wet enough for another one, slipping it in.
He makes scissoring motion, hitting a sensitive spot. Your hips grind back into it, feeling the electrifying pleasure. He continues inserting more, until four fingers fit in, and he pulls them out. Clenching at nothing, you feel loss, whining before he shushes you and do more small bites on your neck, before moving to your thigh, sucking a prominent mark on it. Using his wet hand, he lubes up his dick, guiding the head to your entrance. His kisses get deeper when the head gets in, and he fills you up in one thrust, shocking you with the slight burn you're having.
It feels really, *really* good though. You're feeling him inside, clenching, wanting more friction. "Sorry, dear. I might need to do it rougher than I thought" he drags it out, before snapping back in. Each thrust fills you even more, and somehow, he manages to fuck into that one spot that makes you see stars. Gasping and hungry, you kiss him back with all your might, biting his lips, choking on your own breathing. "Hnnghh.. Xiao! Ahhng! Please more- more." Begging for it, Xiao angles his thrust to meet your lovely spot, making you scream.
He keeps whispering sweet nothing into your ears. 'You're doing good', 'perfect', 'my sweet precious Y/N'. His erratic thrust seems to get sloppier, you conclude he's close. "Xi- Xiao! Please! Inside, I want you to fill me up, please" your words is sending him closer to the edge, he plays with your crotch once more, trying to make you come before him. And you do, after a few more stroking, you come, biting on his shoulder. He keeps fucking into you, it's making you overstimulated, twitching until he finally shoots his load inside, keeping you warm and full.
You stop him from pulling out, earning a raised eyebrow. You must look so fucked out right now, eyes barely open. "Want you to be inside, longer," you close your eyes, "feels nice." And so, you blacked out there.
You are very embarrassed when you wake up, remembering everything that happened, last night. It seems that Xiao has clean you up nicely, as your body doesn't feel sticky. He's nowhere to be found though, you figure he's out, exorcising. You wish he would've stayed, but who are you to stop him. You really should focus on being grateful instead, since things have turned out way different that your initial thought.
And so you packed up your things however, he appears, a plate of food on his hand. You blink in surprise before smiling and hug him. "This is for you, I reckon you need to replenish your energy," he puts it down on the bedside table, "more importantly, are you hurt anywhere? I might have been a bit too rough with you last night, forgive me." Warm red dusting his cheeks with the mention of last night. You rest your head against his chest, humming, "Beside the soreness on why waist, I think I'm okay," looking up at him, grinning, "beside I enjoy that very much, Xiao. I am more than happy to do it with you again, love."
His ears are red. You think it's very adorable of him as it's easy to make him flustered. He hugs you at last, stroking your hair, and breathe in your scent, feeling warm and content.
"That's great then, my dearest."