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When I first came to Rose, she was playing with building blocks. We had sat together for hours, trying to figure out where to fit the blocks.
“I love the color red,” Rose said; it was the first sentence she had said to me, ”What’s your favorite?”
“Red is a great color! Red is my favorite,” I had said back. She smiled at me, and continued to push the blocks through the holes.
“I like cats,” She said, trying to force the cube through the circle.
“I love cats,” I said back, pointing to the square hole, “try this new hole.”
I got board of the blocks fairly quickly though, and encouraged Rose to try something new, “What about the stuffed toys, can we play with them?” I asked.
Rose seemed hesitant, “I always play with the blocks.”
“But the blocks are old and boring,” I whined, “The stuffed toys are new.”
Rose got up and had slowly made her way over to the stuffed lion, giraffe and bunny.
“We can use the cups to have a tea party!” I said. Rose was getting more exited by the minute as she set the animals up in a circle and placed mismatched, colorful plastic cups in front of them.
I also remember looking a lot different back then. Rose saw me as a young girl, just as herself. I guess that’s what she needed at the time; someone like herself to to learn things with. Now….
Now….
I remember another time; Rose was still 3. She was sitting on the couch, eating her favorite cereal at the time, watching her favorite cartoon at the time. At the time, before it changed…
Changed…
She wanted to talk about the cartoon; cue me, sitting on the floor in front of her, looking up at the tv.
“Who’s your favorite?” I asked, “I like the blue dog best.”
“I love the blue dog,” Rose said, taking another spoonful of the dry cereal into her mouth.
“I know you do, hun” Her father sat by, looking at the tv with us, but not really watching.
“What would happen if you dropped the cereal?” I asked, looking at Rose.
Apparently Rose wanted to know as well, as she soon let go of the bowl, spilling the cereal across the floor.
“Rose!” Her father exclaimed, getting up in a short of shock.
“Oops,” I said.
“Oops,” Rose said.
“Help me pick it up,” Her father told her, getting on the ground and putting the ruined bits back in the bowl to throw away.
Rose got on the ground with him, “Does Teddy need to help, too?”
Her father stopped and stared at Rose, “Who’s Teddy?”
“Teddy,” Rose said, looking over at me, “she wanted to know what would happen if I dropped the bowl.”
Her father starred between Rose and where I stood; where Rose was starring, “No, Rose,” He father scolded, “You’re not going to blame accidents on an imaginary friend.”
“What does Imaginary mean?” Rose asked. I was also curios.
“Fake, Rose,” Her father answered, “Teddy is not real.”
“Yes she is!”
“Yes I am!”
“She’s right there!” Rose pointed at me.
“Rose, just pick up your mess,” Her father said; he sounded angry, “I need to talk to your mother.”
Rose did finish picking up and went to take the ruined cereal back to the kitchen to throw in the trash.
“Rose, wait,” I said, “I can hear talking.”
Rose and I stayed just around the corner, listening in to her parents talking.
“She was blaming it, Jess,” Her father said.
“She’s 3,” Her mother chuckled, “It’s normal for kids her age to do this. Just give it a month, and ‘Teddy’ will be gone.”
Gone…
I love Rose, she has always been…
Rose will always be my sister.
And I guess her mother was right, eventually I would be gone.
Rose is now 6 years old. I have been her best friend for 3 years. But now…
Now…
Rose is making new friends in her school. I’m seeing her less and less. I’m changing, too.
“Rose, can we make the sky pink?” I asked, watching her draw.
Rose shook her head, “The teacher said we have to draw the sky right,” Rose stated, “and the right way is blue.”
I frowned, “oh, ok. But can we add pink clouds, like cotton candy?”
Rose sighed, “No, Teddy.”
“Oh.”
Soon Rose was completely focused on her drawing and talking about her new friends.
“Rose, you’ve really changed,” I said.
“Really?” Rose asked, “How?”
“You’ve got new friends,” I said. My voice was low, “And everything is…new.”
“New is good though, right?”
I smiled. I had taught her that.
“Yeah, new is good.”
It was quiet for a bit again as Rose used her crayon on the paper.
“Rose?”
“Yeah, Teddy?”
“You won’t forget me, right? Even when you make more new friends?” I knew the answer.
“Of course not! You're my best friend!” Rose exclaimed.
I faked a smile for her, knowing it was a lie she didn’t know she was telling herself, “I’ll always be your best friend, right?” I asked.
“Of course!” Rose smiled.
“Rose! Jazmin is on the phone,” Her mother called from downstairs, “She wants to talk to you!”
Rose excitedly ran down the stairs to talk to Jazmin, a girl from her class she had made friends with.
I stayed upstairs, knowing this was the last time I’d see Rose. I looked at her drawing for the last time as I began to fade, and smiled when I saw a single pink cloud in the blue sky.