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You and Serana begin the long trek back east to your homestead. She couldn't bear to stay in Castle Volkihar after all that's happened, especially now that she's alone. Isran had offered her a place with the Dawnguard, but to your relief she had taken up your offer to keep traveling with you instead. Somehow, even after all these months, the two of you haven't tired of each other.
It's different now that it's all over. You travel at a relaxed pace, worrying about nothing but the usual dangers of the road, with no goal except to eventually end up in the Pale. You worry that without your quest binding you together, your friendship might unravel, but it doesn't. Free from the stress of the prophecy, you're both finally aware of the closeness and warmth between you.
Serana has never known a life like this. She thinks how strange it is to lie near you when you camp, to sense the heat from your body and hear your heartbeat and breathing. She hears them both quicken when you look at each other. "Are you afraid of me?" she asks gravely.
"Of course not," you say, confused.
"It's just... your heart is beating faster."
You laugh then, a little embarrassed. "It's because I like you."
"Oh." Slowly, she smiles. "Then I should tell you I feel the same. I'm sorry I have an unfair advantage."
You laugh again, and she places her ice-cold hand on yours. You suppress a shudder, but don't want her to let go. She doesn't. "I'll keep watch," she assures you, stroking your hand while you drift to sleep.
*
As the journey winds on, you begin to lie closer at night, and the sound of your heart and breathing becomes a comfort to her. It's hard for her to sleep at night, but she lies there and lets it relax her. Eventually she's clinging to you so that she can feel your pulse and you can feel the comfort of her touch, odd and cold as it is. She doesn't realize at first the effect she's having, but after a few nights she notices the pattern of your pulse and body heat has changed. You're warmer when she touches you, and your blood flows to your legs.
"Are you... uncomfortable?" she asks anxiously. "Should I stop?"
"No, no," you reassure her, but feel your face flush. "I really can't hide how I feel about you, huh?"
"What should I do?"
"You don't have to do anything," you tell her. "You don't have to be a part of this if you don't want to."
"It seems to me I'm already a part of this," she says, raising an eyebrow, but then her tone softens. "I want to help you," she says. "But I've never done this before. And it's been... a while since I was mortal. Show me what you need."
"It's not so easy," you laugh nervously. "People don't normally do this for an audience."
"But they do it with their lovers, don't they?" she says softly, encouraging you.
You only feel your heart beat faster. "Would you hold me?" you ask her.
She takes you in her arms, holding you in her lap while you slip your hand between your legs, finally bringing some relief to your long ache. You're nervous, but Serana strokes your hair and runs a hand along your body, understanding instinctively that it helps. You bring yourself to climax, and your hand drops back to your side. Serana hears you breathing heavily and knows you've never been more vulnerable with her than you are right now. "You finally feel relaxed," she says gently, stroking your cheek. "Does that feel better?"
"Mmhmm," you hum. "Thank you for that."
"I'm glad I could help." She pauses. "Thank you for trusting me again."
You press close to her, clinging to her hand as you fall asleep.
She learns quickly over the next few nights. She needs almost no guidance to make love to you; her sharp senses pick up on your reactions almost before you do. It's foreign and fascinating to her, how your eyes go dark with arousal, almost like a vampire needing to feed; how exhausted you are afterward and how affectionate, practically wrapping your body around her as you're taken by an almost invincible sleep. She wills herself to ignore how warm your blood is and how it calls to her, literally flows toward her.
*
"How can I return the favor?" you ask her one night as you lie next to her.
"You don't need to," she says, stroking your hair fondly.
You're silent for a moment, unsure how to ask, but she reads the question on your mind and shakes her head. "It doesn't work that way for me." Without a beating heart and blood flow, she's not able to become aroused, and sex would be painful. "Don't feel sad for me," she tells you. "I'm not missing out on what I can't feel. I'm happy to see you happy."
You can't help but feel that that isn't enough. A wave of emotion churns in your gut. You draw her hand toward you and kiss it, not sure what else to do.
She laughs. Not the response you'd expected. "Are you the knight from my old story books?"
"Are you my lady fair, Princess?" you retort.
She rolls her eyes, as she does every time you bring it up. But suddenly seeing your sincerity, her voice softens again. "As long as you'll have me."
*
You feel Serana pull away from you and wake slightly. "Where are you going?" you mumble.
"Nowhere." She tucks a blanket close around you. You suddenly realize you're shivering violently. The nights have been growing colder as you near the Pale. "I'm draining the warmth out of you," she says, draping her cloak over you too.
"That's just how heat works," you say sleepily. "It wants to move from the warm stuff to the cold stuff." You instinctively move closer to find her again.
"Well, you need to keep the warm stuff with you." She pulls you closer to the campfire and watches you fall back asleep. It's good that your body heat is so faint tonight, she thinks, with a twinge of guilt. She hasn't fed once during the entire journey, but she doesn't dare leave your side now. She moves, stroking your hair apologetically, to lie down farther away from you, across the fire.
*
You finally reach your homestead and both settle into daily life, if it can be called that. Now that you're back in a safe spot, Serana sleeps during the height of day, which is natural for her. You don't mind; you're happy to settle down for a while, tending the garden and the animals and spending time with your housecarl and steward, whom you haven't seen in months.
Serana wakes in the evenings and you spend the rest of your time together. At times you feel her get up and leave in the dead of night, but she's always back in bed with you when you wake at dawn. You know better than to ask her about it. She's as sensitive a lover toward you as ever, happy to make love to you whenever she senses your body wanting it. You hold her close in bed, still desperately wanting to make her feel how much you care for her, but you feel there's something in her that you can't reach. She allows you to kiss her hand, half-jokingly, but always keeps her mouth well away from you. You don't press her on that, either, at least for a while.
But it weighs heavily on you. "What's on your mind?" she asks one night, watching you gaze at her with an odd apprehension.
You finally broach the subject. "Would you like to feed on me?"
She's silent for a moment. "I could never ask that of you."
"But would you? If I let you, would it make you feel good?"
Seeing your earnestness, she can't lie to you. "Probably," she admits. "I... I've thought about it often. Your scent is just... well, it's a part of you."
You feel tears behind your eyes. "You're welcome to."
She shakes her head. "I can't hurt you."
"You're worried about losing control?"
"No," she says. "But it's painful. And I don't want you to see... that part of me."
"You saw me touch myself."
She laughs. "There was no pain in that."
"No, I mean... you've seen me. All of me," you tell her. "But you've never once fed in front of me. I want you to know I'm willing to take all of you." Your voice shakes. "I care so much for you."
She finally understands. She clings tightly to you for a moment, her eyes shut. You know that if she could cry, she would be. "All right," she says at last. "If you're sure."
"I am. I want you to."
*
"I promise I'll be gentle," she says when you've prepared. "And that I won't take too much. Promise me you'll tell me if you want me to stop."
"I promise." Your heart pounds, but you pull her close to you.
She shifts so that she's on top of you. "Try to keep still," she says gently as she approaches your neck. "It'll hurt a little."
Even that doesn't prepare you for her bite. You gasp involuntarily and tears spring to your eyes. The puncture hurts, and her drinking, the constant ache of your blood leaving you, is strange and unpleasant. Each suck of her lips stings you all over again.
But how gentle she's being, the way she's stroking your hair and holding you with her other arm, makes your heart swell. You feel her cold mouth, touching your skin for the first time, growing warm from your blood. She shifts on top of you, her arm closing tighter around you, and it's obvious she's feeling pleasure you've never seen in her before.
You wrap both your arms around her and hug her closer to you. "Serana," you whisper, nearly overwhelmed with emotion. You feel your blood flowing to your loins, and she's surprised to feel it too. She leaves your neck - you catch a quick glimpse of your own blood dripping from her lips - and you're too faint to try to stop her from taking care of you now. She draws a quick, light-headed orgasm out of you.
"Are you all right?" You hear her voice as if from far away.
"Uh-huh," you gasp. Your vision is blurry and your ears are roaring. "Serana..."
"Shh," she whispers, still stroking your hair. "It's all right. I've got you."
"I love you," you tell her for the first time. You pass out before you can see her response.
*
Serana cleans and bandages the wound on your neck while you sleep. She's not sure what just happened, why you had become aroused, whether she took too much blood, whether you were in pain, whether you meant what you said or were just delirious from blood loss. She brushes your pale cheek with the back of her hand. You're cold. She anxiously covers you up with every blanket on the bed, alarmed at how frail and vulnerable you suddenly seem.
How could she have done that to you? she thinks, remembering how tightly you had held her and how you had called her name. The taste of your blood is still sweet on her tongue, and she wants to hate herself for it, but your words still ring in her ears. She frets over you in a nervous limbo. Something has changed, but only time will tell what and how.
*
You wake to Serana sitting next to you on the bed. She sits you up and presses a cup to your lips before you can speak. "Drink," she says, supporting your back while she feeds you the water. You're still weak.
You can't help smiling at her when she lays you back down, but she still looks so worried. "How are you feeling?" she asks, covering you up again.
You're not sure what to say. You're feeling too much. "Good," you settle for.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you," she says in a strained voice, caressing your cheek.
"You didn't hurt me," you say, although you still feel the pain in your neck. "It was beautiful, you know."
She frowns skeptically. "I've never had that reaction before."
"Have you ever fed on someone who loves you?" you ask, and she's silent. "Do you know how it feels to be able to take care of someone... to be able to make them feel good?"
"I do know what that's like," she says at last.
"Oh, and thank you. I almost forgot you took care of me, too."
"How could you forget that happened?" she says incredulously.
"Look, I was feeling a lot of feelings. I'm sorry they made me horny and interrupted you."
She finally laughs. "I'm glad we both came out of that satisfied, then."
"It felt good?"
"It felt so good," she admits. She lies down next to you, holding your exhausted body. "Thank you so much. For everything."
You sigh contentedly and lay your head on her arm. "You don't have to hold back anymore," you tell her.
"I know." She kisses your cheek for the first time. You're surprised you're still able to blush after all this. "And by the way... I love you, too."