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Link's Thoughts on Mario Kart 8

Summary:

Well, it's not on Mario Kart 8, but the competitors who participate in it.

Oh, and of course, it's from BotW Link's PoV.

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Mario: The OG, hence why it's called "Mario Kart" and not "Nintendo Kart." And no, I don't want it be to be Nintendo Kart. I'm quite glad to be participating in it, as the last time I got to participate in something outside Hyrule that was not Smash Bros was Soul Caliber 2, back when I was the Hero of Time. Anyways, I'm glad to be his friend!

Luigi: Mario's younger brother. He's the definition of the "Crouching Coward, Hidden Badass" trope. He is skittish and wants to avoid conflict, but, if he or the ones he cares for is put in danger, he will fight like hell to defend them. He, like Mario, is incredibly friendly. What else can I say?

Peach: Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, she's prim and proper, but she can be competitive if she wants to. Now, as a foreigner to the Mushroom Kingdom-Koopa Realm Conflict, I don't understand why she keeps on getting kidnapped by Bowser. It's as if she likes this conflict and wants to keep it going, but that's my opinion. Anyways, her preferred kart, as expected, is in the form of a royal carriage, with there being two (fake) white horses coming out the front of it that move along, going up and down depending on how fast. It's called the "Prancer," I think. Oh, and she's in a relationship with Mario. Or is she? WHO IN HYLIA'S NAME EVEN KNOWS? FIGURE YOUR STUFF OUT YOU TWO!

Daisy: A Princess, like Peach. She's much more tomboy-ish than Peach and every bit completive. Besides that and the fact that she's in a relationship with Luigi, the only other important thing I can think of is the fact that she finally got into Super Smash Bros in the ongoing Ultimate Tournament.

(Note: The Events of Mario Kart 8 are completely separate from Super Smash Bros Ultimate, though they are concurrent through the fact that during breaks in SSBU, all of us Mario Kart 8 competitors go racing. Nobody else in SSBU seems to care. Well, except for Captain Falcon, who wanted to join as he is a racer, being from F-Zero and all, but sadly he wasn't invited. Perhaps next time?)

Rosalina: The enigmatic Guardian of the Cosmos, it seems that she can't resist the need for speed, like all of us. Can't blame her though, as it probably gets boring floating through space with nothing to do.

Tanooki Mario: What in Hylia's name is a Tanooki? Ah, ok. so it's a raccoon. Apparently, Mario has been dressing as a raccoon for decades. Seems strange to me, but I'm not going to judge him for doing that, as I had to wear those mock monster heads that Kilton from the Fang & Bone made. Well, I had to wear them until I found Majora's Mask, which acted as a combination of all of Kilton's mock monster heads. I can't thank Majora enough for that. Anyways, I'm getting off track (haha).

Cat Peach: Next up on people dressing as animals, it's Peach wearing a Cat Suit. It's weird, but I'm not going to question it, as a Cat Suit is weird, but not as weird as other stuff I've seen over my many lifetimes.

Yoshi: Mario's loyal steed. He shares the same name as his species, probably because he's the species' namesake. He's friendly and enjoys being fed (Don't we all). I have nothing more to say in regards to Yoshi. Next!

Toad: A member of the species that makes up the population of the Mushroom Kingdom. What makes him stand out from the other Toads is that he can drive. Other than that, I'm not really familiar with him.

Koopa Troopa: One of Bowser's minions. Like Toad, he stands out from the other Koopa Troopas for his ability to drive, which, according to Bowser, is ample reason to give him much more leeway than the other Koopa Troopas.

Shy Guy: As the name suggests, this being is shy. Other than that, I have no clue.

Lakitu: The referee of Mario Kart. Like Rosalina, it seems he couldn't resist the need for speed. Though I don't know how he acts as a referee and competes in the races at the same time. Maybe the one who races is a doppelganger? I'm not sure.

Toadette: A female version of Toad that, like her male counterpart, can drive. She's the only female member of Toad's species that I've ever seen. All the many other toads I've seen are male. How do Toads reproduce if they only have 1 female in their whole species? Perhaps they're hermaphrodites and 99.99% of Toads lean towards masculine personalities, with Toadette being the rare exception, leaning feminine instead. But that's just my theory. In all honesty, I have no clue.

King Boo: A King of Ghosts that can somehow drive. Fascinating.

Baby Mario, Baby Luigi, Baby Peach, Baby Daisy, and Baby Rosalina: Why are there babies driving? THEY ARE BABIES! THEY ARE NOT EVEN 3 YEARS OLD YET! WHY ARE THEY DRIVING, LET ALONE PARTICIPATING IN COMPETITVE RACES? At least with Bowser Jr, I can make an exception as even though he is still juvenile, he is old enough to drive. These other babies, though, are not.

Metal Mario & Pink-Gold Peach: Somehow the metal statues can move and drive. Weirder than Tanooki Mario and Cat Peach, but still in the lowest echelon of weirdest things I've seen in my many lifetimes.

Wario: Supposedly, he's the bad opposite of Mario. He, in terms of Mario Kart, is my best friend and arch-nemesis. The races we've had with each other have been some of the best I've ever competed in, always being a nail-biter until the very end. When there is time, we take a break from SSBU and go and race each other in 1-on-1 races. He's cool and a fun guy to be around. He likes to steal stuff, but hey, I was a kleptomaniac back in the day, so I won't judge! Also, he's not "evil" like Bowser; he's just the "bad" to Mario's "good."

Waluigi: HE BETTER BE PUT IN THE NEXT ITERATION OF SUPER SMASH BROS OR I WILL HAVE VERY STERN WORDS FOR WHOEVER IS REPLACING SAKURAI! Like how Wario is the "bad" to Mario's "good," Waluigi is the "bad" to Luigi's "good." Apparently, he came into being for the purpose of being Wario's tennis partner, but since then, he's become mainstream and a staple in Mario games. He's also cool and a fun guy to be around and race against like Wario.

Donkey Kong: He's smarter than most people would think at first glance. Apparently, he was Mario's first enemy, throwing barrels at him as he scrambled up ladders and ramps to rescue who we now know as Pauline, the mayor of New Donk City (hahaha), but since then, his position as Mario's main enemy has been completely replaced by Bowser. They're still frenemies, though leaning more towards "friends" than "enemies." It's fun to converse with him, as even though most people can't understand what he is saying, I can.

Bowser: Malhyro ("King" in Akkalan/Ancient Hylian) Koopa himself. Mario's arch-nemesis, though their conflict revolves over him kidnapping Peach all the time. Even though he is fierce, he can also be friendly. The fact that he and Mario are able to get along when Peach isn't in captivity in Bowser's Castle is quite interesting. As with all villains, he wants to take over the world, but that's third in his priority behind, first, whatever he does with Peach and, second, beating the competition wherever it may be, whether it is here on the racetracks, on the battle stages in Smash Bros, or somewhere else.

Dry Bones: A Stalfos version of a Koopa Troopa. What would it be called? If a Stalfos Bokoblin is a Stalkoblin, a Stalfos Moblin a Stalmoblin, a Stalfos Lizalfos a Stalizalfos, and a Stalfos Hinox a Stalnox, then what would a Stalfos Koopa Troopa be called? A Stalpa? A Stalkoopa? I have no idea. Anyways, it doesn't collapse and disintegrates like a Stalfos in the presence of daylight so it definitely isn't a Stalfos. I only attached the tag because it's undead and skeletal. Oh, and it can also drive.

Bowser Jr: Bowser's firstborn child and heir. He's a calmer, smaller version of his dad that doesn't share his obsession over kidnapping Princess Peach. Overall a pretty chill kid.

Dry Bowser: Literally just Stalfos Bowser.

The Koopalings (Lemmy, Larry, Wendy, Ludwig, Iggy, Roy, and Morton): Bowser's other children. Apparently, they are named after music stars (well, in Ludwig's case, a music composer). They are a wild bunch, always bickering with one another over something. Bowser told me and Mario that he only brought them at first so he could keep an eye on them. Not that I blame him. Though he says that they've grown into racers in their own right.

Inkling Girl: Sky has sworn revenge on her after she shelled him during his first time on Rainbow Road. I know that she did this for a fact because not only was it confirmed to me by Isabella and the Inkling Girl herself but also because it's on the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Cover. And since Sky was my first incarnation after [removed], his conflicts are my conflicts. He and I have both taken our revenge on her numerous times, but I stopped after a while, feeling as if my grievances with her had been resolved. Sky, however, has not, as he continues to do everything in his power to make sure she pays for ruining his feeling of wonder during that first time on Rainbow Road. She's a fierce competitor, and she hasn't taken Sky's actions without doing something in return, thus forming a rivalry between the two, though since Sky did that on his own accord, I have no rivalry with her.

Inkling Boy: The other inkling that participates in Mario Kart 8, I have no conflicts with him other than in the midst of the racetrack and on the Smash Bros stage. I am unsure of what else to say in regards to him.

Link (BotW): That's me. As I said in Mario's section, I am glad to be here, being able to leave Hyrule for something other than Smash Bros. Hopefully I will be able to be in Mario Kart 9, and maybe other crossover games in this vein, such as Mario & Sonic at the Olympics in 2024? Nah, I don't think Nintendo would let me go to that. But alas, so be it. I really enjoy being here and hope to stay as long as I can.

Link (SS): Also known as "Sky", he is my first incarnation since [removed]. It kind of feels like an out-of-body experience, however barely so, as it has been eons since the events of Skyward Sword and the beginning of Demise's curse. One day, I will drag Demise out of whatever hole he is hiding in and settle our dispute once and for all. But until then, I shall remain, always returning to stop whoever is Demise's representation from taking over Hyrule and bringing it to ruin.

Villager: I'll be using this to represent both of the Villagers. The reason why I am doing it for them and not the Inklings is because I had to mention Sky's conflict with the Inkling Girl. Anyways, all I can really say is that they exist. Other than that, I have no clue.

Isabelle: What do I say about her other than that she is efficient when it comes to running stuff? I don't know. 

Anyways, that about wraps it up. I'm so grateful to get out of Hyrule for something other than Smash Bros, and I hope that I will return for Mario Kart 9!