Archive of Our Own

Five years ago. Five years ago when Jonny first laid eyes on Patrick Kane. Destiny has a funny way of working sometimes. Most people find their soul mates in a high school classroom or in a crowded work office but Jonny knows best that you can't control fate. Patrick and Jonathan were both drafted by the Blackhawks in 2007, a team in a rebuilding stage, not a place any newbie wants to be but Jonny was thankful just to be in the league to start with. Kaner was a little more complicated, he complained a lot, maybe not out loud but you can always tell when something is up. Every time the team would lose a game, Kaner took it straight to heart, like it was all his fault. Kaner didn't quiet have his emotions figured out yet. A part of him self-consciously still wanted to be a child, he wasn't ready for such a commitment and his maturity was nowhere near his skills on the ice. Jonny knew Kaner was different. He felt linked to him immediately. Getting the nickname 'Captain Serious' due to his lack of humor and stiff posture, Jonny was sure he and Kaner would butt heads a lot, but he learned fast that he was way more than a tiny terror from Buffalo. He used to pretend that Kaner annoyed the shit out of him, in front of the guys, but every night Jonny would find himself dreaming about Kaner, his long blonde curls and golden locks, he knew he couldn't hold up the act anymore.

One night after a home loss to the Ottawa Senators, Jonny went all the way home before he realized he'd left his headphones in the locker room. He knew all the guys had gone home by now but he had his own key anyway. Jonny opened the door to an almost pitch black room- reeking of sweat and sadness. Jonny flipped on the light and jumped back when he saw a little body crouched on the floor. He started breathing hard, trying to analyze the situation.
"Patrick?" he says, stepping a little bit farther into the room.
His head slowly lifts from his knees, like he hadn't even noticed the light had been turned on.
"What are you doing here?" Kaner says quietly.
"I-uh..." Jonny suddenly doesn't remember why he'd come in the first place.
"Headphones." he blurts, wondering to his own stall.

At this point, two months into their rookie season, Johnny and Kaner hadn't gotten to know eachother very well yet, with Kaner always at the bar and Jonny taking care of his sick grandma four nights a week, the two seemed to be on two totally different spectrums of the earth.

Jonny could see Kaner had been crying and he felt a burning pain in his chest when he looked at those red, stinging eyes. Jonny usually wasn't very good at consoling, but he knew he couldn't just leave and let his teammate sit there like that.

Jonny knelt down next to Kaner.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" he tries to keep a stern voice but comes out more sympathetic then he intended.

Patrick looked a little surprised to see Jonny looking into his eyes, but not in a bad way.

Patrick exhales.

"I don't like losing, man." he says, shaking his head.

Jonny doesn't know what exactly what to say but he decides to let his heart do the talking, for the first time in his life.

"Kaner," this also being the first time he has ever called Kaner by his team nickname, Kaner also looked surprised- and confused at that.

He gazes at Jonny, clearly wanting some condolence.

"You played fantastic tonight, though. Two goals and an assist, that's probably good enough for first star of the week!" Jonny emphasizes.

Kaner tries to smile but doesn't get much more than a side lip curl.

"Not good enough though, J Toews."

"It was an O-T loss, Patrick, it sucks but you cant put every games loss on yourself." Jonny feels his voice deepen and tries to lighten it a little.

Kaner doesn't know Jonny ever took notice.

"If it's anyone's fault, its Sharpy's right?" Jonny says, trying to lighten the mood.

Kaner does smirk at that one but his face still drenched in tears.

"Come on, Pal." Jonny says, getting up and holding out his hand. Kaner reluctantly takes it.

"You're a good kid." Jonny says, patting him on the back.

"And one hell of a player." he smiles.

The room is silent for a minute .

"Why don't you come down to my place tonight?" Jonny says openly.

Kaner still looks a little standoffish.

"I have pizzaaaa." Jonny exaggerates, nudging him in the side.

"Pepperoni?" Kaner says trying to be funny.

"Supreme." Jonny says buffling out his chest, though Kaner isn't sure why.

Kaner laughs for the first time.

"The tin man has a heart after all." Kaner says, tilting his head, but flashing a thankful look at Johnny.

"Come on bud." Jonny says, putting an arm on Kaners shoulder.

The two walk out and turn the lights off, the headphones still on the cubby shelf.

----Five years later--

"Kaner, come on buddy, you gotta get up. We have practice."
Kaner groans from under the sheets. "Five more minutes, Jonny?" he says like a five year-old not wanting to go to school.
"You're gonna be late." Jonny says, jumping on top of Kaner. He can hear him giggle under the sheets.
Jonny starts tickling him, Jonny pulls the blankets down and looks into the glowing eyes of his own soul mate, wide grins on both of their faces. Jonny pins Kaner's shoulders down and pecks him on the mouth, Kaner pretends to try to free himself but Jonny knows he likes it.
"Come on, bud." He says, grabbing his arm.
"Carry me." Kaner says still giggling.
Captain Serious can't help but smile at his boyfriend, arms stretched open wide on the bed.
He takes him under his arm like a big toddler, Kaner nuzzles his head into Jonnys neck, legs wrapped around his back.
"I love you, JJ." he says into his shoulder.
"You better." He says tickling him one last time on the side.

Jonny sets Kaner down on the stool next to the bar.

Kaner grumbles and eyes Johnny with an evil smirk.

"What do you want to eat?" Jonny says opening the pantry.

"I'm not hungry." Kaner says, shifting in his seat.

"You can't go to practice on en empty stomach, you'll get dizzy." though they both know from experience, yet its an every day struggle to force food down Kaner's throat in the morning, Jonny always manages it.

"Cereal is fine." Kaner says knowing he wont win with Jonny.

Jonny takes out the fruity pebbles and pours abut 8 servings into a bowl.

"Jesus Christ, asshole, how big do you think I am?" Kaner says.

Jonny laughs at that considering Kaner barely hits 170 pounds.

"Gotta bulk up." he says still pouring.

"On fruity pebbles?" Kaner says sarcastically.

"Sugar is sugar." Jonny says, now pouring the milk.

He hands Kaner the big bowl as he proceeds to put more plain white sugar on top.

"Sugar is sugar." He mimics, grinning because he knows it makes Jonny cringe when he puts extra on.

Jonny takes a more subtle approach to his morning meal. Cinnamon wheat toast, an apple, and a protein shake.

"Don't you ever get tired of eating cardboard?" Kaner says, milk spilling down his chin.

"You don't get abs like these eating toddler food, Kaner." he says pulling his shirt up and flexing his abs.

"If only it helped your hockey skills." Kaner says with an obnoxious grin.

"Shut up." Jonny says.

Kaner is currently third in the league in goals scored behind Crosby and Ovechkin. Jonny is seventh but takes pride in the fact that the Hawks are the only team in the league with two players in the top ten anyway.

"Oh yeah, by the way, Q called this morning, I have to go to a meeting after practice, so you'll have to find your own dinner." Jonny says.

"For what?"

"He wants me to do some mentoring with the rookies."

Kaner grumbles that Q didn't ask him to help with the rookies.

Jonny swallows his last piece of toast and pours a glass of milk.

"I will probably go to Sharpies then." Kaner says, hoping to get some kind of reaction from Tazer, though even Kaner knows Jonny wont fall for it.

"Okay." Jonny says talking a giant drink of milk.

Kaner starts squirming in his seat again.

Jonny puts the glass on the counter and walks over and wraps his arms around Kaner, who still has half a bowl of Fruity Pebbles sitting in front of him.

"And maybe after practice we can play some games of our own." Jonny says putting his mouth to Kaners left ear.

"Oh a game you're actually good at?" Kaner says turning fully around on his stool to face Jonny.

Jonny squints his eyes, not being able to think of a comeback, so he pulls the captain card, the one that works every time.

"I'm captain of more than one thing, Kaner." his voice dropping a little as he makes his way down from Kaners head to the crease of his neck. Kaner tenses.

"Okay, well lets hope you play better than you did yesterday." he says sarcastically, even though Jonny pulled a goal and two assists yesterday.

"You're a douche." Johnny says in a louder tone.

"But you loooooove me!" Kaner squeals.

Jonny laughs and starts squeezing him, tickling his sides and picking him up in a bear hug all the way off the ground.

Kaner laughs as his legs curl up toward his torso. Jonny kisses him on the mouth before tickling him again.

In a sea of giggles Kaner starts yelling:

"Stop! Jonny, stop!!" Jonny barely lets up.

"Please!! Jonny stop!!" Kaner says trying to be serious but cant make it through with all the laughter.

Jonny full on picks him up this time but stops tickling him, holding him like a baby, something they both usually love.

Kaner wiggles out of Jonnys arms as soon as his feet hit the ground he starts waddling toward the hallway.

Jonny laughs at his dismount.

"What are you doing?" he laughs, out of breath.

"I gotta pee, asshole!" Jonny laughs even harder, watching Kaner struggle up the stairs with one hand squeezing his crotch.

Jonny follows him up the stairs and he pokes him in the side one more time before he goes into the bathroom, Kaner grunts and twists his knee over to keep from wetting himself.

Jonny watches in amusement as he dances, struggling to get his pants down, with one hand still gripping his junk. Jonny finally feels bad enough to go help him.

He grips either side of Kaners tight spandex boxers and pulls them down around his thighs, they are already a little damp in the middle. His dick is dribbling and shaking, Jonny tries not to get turned on but fails when he sees Kaners desperate face, he kisses him on the cheek but Kaner wants more his legs continue to dance as he pulls Jonny into his mouth. He rips Jonnys shirt off over his head and kisses him even more. He is cringing at how badly his bladder needs to be released but he wants Jonny even more. Jonny grabs Kaners butt and squeezes it.

Kaner moans and cringes down.

Jonny holds him up, turned on at all the pain he is in.

Jonny can feel his own dick starting to rise, creating his own buldge.

Kaner feels It against his thigh and guides one hand down teases it outside the fabric.

"You dirty little bastard, Kaner." Jonny smirks, pulling away just long enough for Kaner to moan again.

Jonny feels a hot burst of piss splash against his pants.

"Hold it in Kaner." he says in a playful voice.

"Jonny, I-" is all Kaner can get out before piss starts pouring down his legs, pooling in his half way down underwear.

Jonny feels and grabs Kaner dick, trying to stop the rush, loving Kaners desperation. It sprays all over his hands and Kaner still wiggling.

Jonny steps away a little and pulls his hand off, watching the stream rush down Kaners legs, inches from the toilet. It creates a puddle on the floor.

The stream lasts for a good minute, still dripping, leaving Kaner completely drenched.

He is panting hard he looks up at Jonny who has a grin wide across his face.

"Feel better?" he teases.

Kaner cant help but giggle. He pulls his soaked boxers back up and more piss pools down his legs.

Jonny laughs and picks him up off the ground. Kaner wraps his legs around Jonnys waist. His crotch creates a giant wet spot on Jonnys grey T-shirt. They kiss passionately. Kaner bites Jonnys lip then teases his teeth with the end of his tongue.

"Better get you cleaned up, huh, little man?" Jonny says into Kaners face.

Kaner just smiles. Jonny manages to hold Kaner with one arm and he turns on the shower.

He steps in, Kaner still in his arms, fully clothed.

He puts Kaners back toward the stream and they start full on making out. Jonny squeezes Kaner harder.

Jonny puts Kaner down and begins to strip his own clothes, then Kaners.

No sooner does Kaner grab his dick and start pounding on it. Jonny moans as he squeezes Kaners bicep.

It only takes ten seconds before a giant splash of white cum hits Kaner in the leg.

"That close, Jonny boy?" he mocks.

"When your boyfriend is as sexy as mine, it doesn't take much." He says smashing his face against Kaners.

The two rub wet and naked bodies in the shower for a good twenty minutes before they realize the time.

"Oh shit man, we gotta go." Jonny says cutting off the water.

"Fun sucker." Kaner says slapping his bare ass.

Jonny doesn't even flinch.

"We have practice in 27 minutes." Jonny says looking at the clock.

"What's Q gonna do?" Patrick says wrapping his arms around Jons back side.

"Trade us." he mutters.

Kaner laughs out loud that that.

"Oh Jonny, silly, silly Naïve, Johnny." he pats his wet hair.

"What?"

"Q wont trade us, were two of the best players in the league and he sure as hell wont try and bring Crosby down here." Kaner says cockishly.

Jonny knows it's true but he'd never actually say it out-loud.

Jonny breaks Kaners arms off his chest and walks to the bedroom, throwing on his clothes, quickly. Kaner dabbles behind him.

"Do we have to?" he whines as he puts a leg in his pants.

Jonny doesn't answer. There aren't many things that bug him about Kaner but whining is definitely one of them.

Jonny grabs a comb and tosses around his dripping brown hair that is sticking to his head.

"You ready?" Tazer yells from the front door.

"One sec!" Kaner yells from upstairs.

Jonny rolls his eyes. Wouldn't be the first time Kaner made him late to something.

Kaner comes running down the stairs in a sweatsuit. He knows he is supposed to dress semi-formal for practice, but that was Kaner at his best.

"Nice." Jonny says eyeing Kaner.

"Who cares, ain't like we wear it on the ice anyway."

He does have a point there.

The two get into Kaners hummer, though Jonny never actually lets him drive it. The two head out from their humble abode into the big city streets of Chicago to the United Center.

"Dude it's practice, not a game. Where are you going?" Kaner asks since obviously they don't practice at the UC usually.

"Patrick Kane, do you ever listen to anything?" Jon says twisting his whole body to Kaner.

Kaner looks a little confused and embarrassed and but doesn't answer Jonny.

"They're remodeling the Ice House, silly." Jonny says, gentler, realizing that was kind of mean.

Kaner nods and the two grab their gear from the back and walk in.

Kaner grabs Jonnys hand after they walk through the front door. They only make it twelve feet before they are stopped by fans for pictures and autographs. Kaner loves all the attention but sometimes Jonny just wants to go to practice without getting carpal tunnel in his wrists.

Jonny waves off the last of the few, grabbing Kaners forearm and dragging him away with him.

"Geez Captain, calm yourself." He says after catching up.

"Sorry dude, but were late already."

Kaner rolls his eyes though Jonny cant see but somehow he knows.

"Don't." he mummers to him.

Kaner grabs Jonnys hand again and leans into his side. Jonny pretends not to notice but he secretly loves when Kaner is lovey in public.

Jonny opens the locker room door, where most of the guys are already in their black and white basic jerseys. All except Hossa who has a yellow one on, he is just returning from an injury, so no contact.

Some of them bump Jons fist but Kaner continues to cling to his other like a kid to his mom in a big store.

Q isn't as accepting to the boys as the team, he purposefully tries to keep them apart, Jon walks Kaner to his cubby and practically has to pry him off his arm to sit down, before walking to his own.

They throw their gear on and head out to the ice in a crowd of men.

They disperse once they hit the ice though, and Patrick, who's been especially clingy lately, finds Jonathan once again.

Jonathan starts to lead the team in a stretch at center, Kaner still practically on his side.

Q and the other coaches come out shortly after and start leading drills. Patrick and Jonathan are on separate teams, as usual.

Practice ends early, as they needed the ice for a charity event. A few of the guys linger, who must be helping with whatever is going on. The rest flood back to the locker room.

Kaner sits down in his cubby and leans his arms on his head.

Crawford, who bunks next to him, sprays him with his water bottle.

"What's wrong with Kaner?" he says to Jonny after Kaner doesn't even move.

Jonny looks up and tries to act casual but it's pretty clear something is up with Kaner. Jonny shrugs at Corey.

"Kaner." he pokes him.

"Stop, Crawford." he says into his hands.

"Sheesh." Crawford grumbles, settling himself back into his own cubby.

Kaner sits like that for a good twenty minutes. The guys file out and Jonny waits for Kaner to get ready but he doesn't move.

"Good luck." Duncs says, tapping Jonny with his stick.

"Thanks." Jonny says, knowing he is up for a challenge.

He walks over to Kaner's stall and sits in Crawfords.

"Hey bud, what's goin' on?" Jonny says kneeling his head down.

Kaner doesn't say anything but he sits up and climbs on Jonnys lap.

"Kaner," Jonny laughs.

"I don't feel good, Jonny." he says quietly.

"Well what hurts?" Jonny asks.

"My head and my stomach."

Jonny pulls his hand up to Kaners head and feels his forehead. He feels pretty warm.

"Well lets go home and you can lay down." Jonny says simply not wanting to get too gooey in public.

Kaner scoots back into his own cubby. Jonny gets on the ground and starts untying Kaners skates, he jumps up quickly and runs into the bathroom. Jonny can hear him hurling from the other room, he cringes at the moans.

He waits until it gets quiet to resentfully go to the stall. He pats Kaners back.

"It's okay, bud." He starts heaving again. Jonny closes his eyes and rubs Kanes back.

When he opens them, mushy fruity pebbles are sprayed all around the bowl and the wall.

"Come on." Jonny says helping Kaner up, who is hobbling on lose skates.

Jonny finishes taking Kaners skates off and then helps him out of his guards and pants.

Jonny pulls Kaners sweatpants on.

"You okay?" Jonny asks after he is fully dressed.

Kaner shakes his head but tries to pull himself off. Jonny puts an arm under Kaners and puts almost all his weight on his bicep.

The two hobble out of the locker room and out to the truck. Jonny picks Kaner up and puts him in the truck even though he knows he probably could have done it himself.

Jonny drives home and helps Kaner up to the bedroom.

Kaner pulls his pants down and crawls into the bed.

"Do you want anything?" Jonny asks stroking his hair.

"Some water?" Kaner says innocently. Jonny can see he is in a lot of pain.

Jonny walks back down the stairs and fills up a bottle with ice water and grab a puke bucket from under the sink, even though he knows Kaner probably wouldn't make it- he never does.

He walks back up the stairs and takes a deep breath before walking Into the room again.

"Here, babe." Jonny says, handing him the water.

"And Kaner, if you have to throw up." he puts the bucket by the bedside. Kaner smiles at him, gratefully.

Jonny leans above him.

"Sleep." he brushes his golden locks off of his boiling forehead then kisses it.

"I love you, Toews." he says shifting in the blankets.

"Sleep." he says kissing him on the cheek this time.

Jonny shuts the shade and curtains and then shuts off the lights and closes the door.

He turns the temperature down to 61 degrees, its gonna cost an arm and a leg, but Jonny doesn't want Kaner to get any warmer.

He grabs a blanket and falls on the couch and turns on Sportcenter. He starts to drift off and dozes for a while before he hears Kaner upstairs, grumbling his name.

"Jonny. Jonny...Jonny!" it pleads. Jonny jumps up and sprints up the stairs.

"What's wrong, Kaner?" Jonny asks as he flips on the lights.

"I want you." he says holding his arms up.

Kaner gets clingy when he is sick, I guess that explains what was up with him today.

Jonny walks over to him and sits down in the curve of hip. He rubs Kaners head, which has cooled down a little bit.

"I want you to cuddle with me." he says playing with his free hand.

Jon smirks though he knows he wont get anywhere with Kaner sick.

He lays down next to Kaner who is still pretty warm.

Kaner lays his head on Jons arm and cuddles into his side. Jonny starts rubbing his side. Kaner nuzzles his face into Jons bare chest and neck.

"Do you think you'll be able to play tomorrow?" he whispers.

"I don't know, Jonny. I'm kinda sore."

"Well, how do you feel now?"

"My tummy hurts." he says.

"I'm sorry, baby." Jonny says moving his hand to his bare stomach and stroking it.

"I love you." Kaner says.

"You have no idea." Jonny says kissing his hair.

Kaner starts lightly snoring in Jons neck.

Jon lays awake thinking about the last four years. It only clicked last year that Jonny was more like a dad to Kaner. It was never said outloud but they both knew. Kaner wouldn't be able to take care of himself if he had to. Jonny has helped Kaner through everything, both physically and emotionally. Patrick never says anything but he is secretly grateful for all Jonny does but like everything else- Jonny knows.

The next morning Jonny wakes up to Kaner holding onto his hand. He has to pee pretty bad but doesn't wanna wake Kaner so he waits. Kaner feels a lot colder than yesterday, thank god. Jonny doesn't know If he could handle another puking episode.

Finally the pressure in his bladder was cringing so Jonny wiggles away from Kaner, who moans and flips around.

Jonny makes his way to the bathroom and pulls his boxers down and lets his stream go. He moans as his bladder deflates, now he can see what kind of pain Kaner was in yesterday.

When he pulls his boxers back up to wash his hands Kaner comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his stomach, leaning his head on his back.

Jonny turns around.

"How are you feeling?" Jonny says, looking into his jelly eyes.

"Better, kinda sore though. I think I can play tonight." he says.

"Kaner, don't push it." Jonny says, protectively. Jonny knows Kaner hates when he goes all mommy on him but you don't ever wanna push yourself too hard in a sport like this.

The two spend the afternoon lounging. Jonny feeds Kaner some soup and crackers and then rubs his tummy some more until he falls asleep.

Jonny gets up and starts instinctively lysoling everything.

Jonny gets all their gear together and puts it by the door.

An hour before they have to be there, Jonny wakes Kaner up.

"Kaner, come on pal, game time." he says opening the door.

Surprisingly Kaner is already up and dressed but sitting on the bed.

Jonny raises his eye brows. Usually he has to prod at Kaner to get ready.

The two walk out the door with their bags. Jonny keeps looking over at Kaner, who has more color back in his face but is being oddly quiet.

"You sure you wanna play tonight?" Jonny barks.

"Im fine, mom." Kaner says messing with his tape. There is heat to it but Jonny knows he doesn't mean it personally.

When they get to the rink they go to the back door and sneak into the locker room.

"You feeling better, bro?" Sharpy asks as they walk in.

"Yeah, bud." Kaner says trying to act enthusiastic.

The locker room is relatively quiet as usual before games.

Jonny gets up and gives the team a pep talk right before they have to head out.

"Black Hawks on three!" he yells.

"One, two, three!" He hollers.

"Black Hawks!" two dozen men yell in a huddle.

They all start pouring out of the room yelling chants onto the ice.

Jonny bumps their fists and waits for Kaner, who is on the end.

"Go get um, bub." he says, pecking Kaners mouth.

"Okay Captain."

The first period passes quickly and they find themselves down 2-0 the Wild. Jonny watches Kaner, he looks a little distracted but keeps up as always.

Jonny gets the team fired up again, purposefully, mindlessly babbing the whole intermission so Q can't yell at the players, and most of them zone out because they know Jonnys little trick.

Keith grabs a goal for the Hawks to cut the lead in half and then Bickle to tie it up.

Kaner looks exhausted in the locker room. Johnny knows Q should be fine so he doesn't start up his distraction speech. Instead he goes to Kaners stall and kneels between his legs.

"Hey you feeling okay?" he asks.

"I'm tired." Kaner says huffing.

"We can handle this if you don't wanna play the next period, Kaner."

Kaner shakes his head. Jonny pats his knee and makes his way back to his cubby before Q comes in, he doesn't need a reason to yell when he doesn't already have one.

Q doesn't even come into the room, he probably assumes Jonny took care of the boys like usual but Jonny knows that pressure wont help.

The guys shuffle back out and jump on the bench.

Jonny plops himself next to Kaner who still seems exhausted, hopefully this game won't go into overtime.

Jonny tries to get Kaner going by cracking stupid jokes about the Wild and what a goon Cooke is but to no avail. Jonny can see this is too much for Kaner but knows he is too hard headed to back out, especially since he has already played this much.

Q taps Jonnys head to head for the opening face off. Jonny taps Kaners helmet on his way off the bench.

The whistle blows and Jonny goes eye to eye with Zach Parise.

He wins the faceoff and throws the puck back to Hossa who starts an immediate rush up the ice. Jonny skates as fast as he can to the side of the net but the puck slips off Marians' stick. Duncs picks it up and throws it to Saad, who is coming back from around the net, he tries to wrap it around but Backstrom throws his leg against the pipe. The rebound bounces right out to Toews though, who angles his stick just right and throws the puck up left top shelf, Nik doesn't have enough time to splurge to the other side of the net with his glove and the goal light lights up. Toews throws his hands up while Brandon and Keith come over and tackle the shit out of him. The five skate over to the bench to bump their teammates fists. Kaner is still on the end, Jonny stops when he get to him.

"That was for you." He says, getting back on the bench as Kaner hops over.

"Good job, Tazer." he says in monotone but flashes him a smile.

"Go get'um little buddy." He pats Kaner on the back.

The game goes on, Crawford is all over the net because they just cant seem to keep the puck out of their defensive end but somehow every puck is stopped. Only three minutes left in the game, both teams are nearly out of gas but the Wild desperately try to gain the edge again.

Jonny watches from the bench. He watches Kaner. He can tell he is in a ton of pain, he is holding his stomach, half hurled over. Jonnys eyes wander away in a split second as he sees Backstrom urgently skating toward the bench then out of the corner of his eye, he sees a green jersey throw a hard hit right where Kaner was, Cooke, but he doesn't even see a body underneath that thick slice of a man. Jonnys heart starts racing when he sees the skates dangling from the body pinned above the boards. He swallows hard. A limp body falls to the ground. Kaner. Jonny watched frantically as his lifeless body lay there but no sooner does he wait for them to blow the call dead when he jumps over the boards, tossing his stick aside and viciously skating to Patrick. He throws his gloves down as he leans down next to him. His mouth is pouring blood.

"Kaner!" he yells desperately. The paramedics try to pull Jonny out of the way but he stays completely set.

"Kaner, its Jonny, buddy, hey, talk to me." He says with one hand on his back. Kaner twitches a little.

"Please, Kaner!" he yells urgently. He can feel tears swelling up in his eyes. Sharpy and Hossa wrestle him away and hold his thrashing body back as the medics check him. They role his body over but keep his head slanted so he doesn't choke on his own blood. Jonnys legs stop kicking when they put the neck brace on.

"Let me go!" He screams, following the paramedics off the ice.

They load an unconscious Patrick into the ambulance.

Jonny stands over him when the doors closed.

"Kaner." tears are now streaming down his face and burning hot on his neck.

Jon strokes his hair and leans down to his face.

"Kaner, Kaner, please." he begs.

Kaners eyes flutter a little.

"Patrick? Its Jonny." he says breathing heavily.

His eyes crack open.

"Oh God Kaner." Jonny says gripping his hair.

"What happened, Jonny?" he asks, his voice cracking.

"You got hit." Jonny says choking.

"By who?"

"That fucking goon Cooke."

Kaners eyes wonder, still not fully open.

He raises his hand and wipes them.

"Jonny?" he says after a minute.

"Yeah, Kaner?" Jonny says immediately.

"You're crying." he says confused

Jonny doesn't know how to respond, he tries to cough out words but nothing comes out.

"Jonny, I've...I've never seen you cry..." Kaner says looking sympathetic.

"I've never been this scared, Kaner." he says, wiping his own eyes.

"Jonny Im okay, please don't cry." he says helplessly.

"Come here." Kaner says, arms open awkwardly for a hug.

Jonny lays his head on Kaners chest, tears flow full force when his face hits.

Kaner tries to wrap his arms around him.

"Babe it's okay." he says, patting Jonnys back.

Jonny knows he has to be the strong one here, as always but he cant stop playing that hit in his head, and Kaner falling lifelessly to the ground. His eyes pinch closed. He tries to regain his composure and gets up. He huffs a little and wipes his wet face off. The paramedic in the back is pretending not to notice what is going on.

"You're gonna be okay." he tells Patrick, though Patrick probably knows better than him- if he will or not.

"I know." he says, looking more comfortable than he has at any time over the last two days.

Jonny hold himself together on the way to the hospital. They run some tests on Patrick and pronounce no concussion or serious injuries. A pulled muscle in his shoulder and severe whiplash. He says he needs to go to a chiropractor and stay completely off the ice for a week but they are both grateful at how lucky they got off.

They sit in the private waiting room after calling Sharpy to pick them up.

Kaner is nuzzled into Jons side.

"Im sorry, Kaner." Jonny starts.

"What?" Kaner says, puzzled.

"For losing it in the ambulance like that. I-I don't know what came over me. I just- I was scared, you know?" he babbles.

Kaner gets serious and turns toward Jonny.

"You're apologizing for being scared for me? Jonny, why would I be offended by that?" Kaner says

Jonny doesn't quite know how to reply.

"Well the attention should have been on you, you were the one that was hurt." Jonny says rubbing his hands together.

Kaner straightens up.

"Jonny, you know what, no, I'm sorry." Kaner responds.

Jonny looks at him, not understanding.

"Jonny, for the last five years, you've practically raised me. I don't know how to cook dinner or clean my house or any of that. I'm just this dumb, reckless, lost kid from Buffalo and you took me in even though you had everything figured out. I wrecked your whole life but you love me anyway. You hold me when I get scared and you take care of me when I'm sick and you help me up when I fall. Do you know how much that means to me? You're more than just my boyfriend, okay? You're my whole life. I know it's hard for you sometimes having to carry me around but I cant help it, I don't know what I would do without you. I don't deserve you, and I know I never really tell you how much I appreciate you, but Jonny, I will always be there for you, just like you've always been for me. You don't need to apologize about anything and you never will. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." Kaner sobs, tears now flowing down his face.

Jonny is speechless but feels the tears rushing back to his face. Jonny can see Kaner is scared, scared of losing him?

"Kaner-" he doesn't even know where to start, he was definitely not expecting that.

Jonny stands up and pulls Kaner up with him.

"Kaner, dont you get it, I thought I had everything figured out but It turns out it was nothing without you." Jonny says holing Kaners face up in his hands.

"Really?" Kaner says through tears.

"Sometimes, Kaner, yeah it does get annoying when you leave the house a mess and you keep me up all night playing video games or make us late for practice but I love cooking for you and I love cooking for you and holding you every night. You brought this light into my life that I have never had before, you make me smile everyday without even trying. You're what I've always wanted, little man and I wouldn't trade you for anything in this world. And you know what, Kaner, no matter what I can never be angry with you in my arms. I love you." Jonny says, for the first time, speaking from his heart.

Kaner falls into Jonnys chest.

Jonny cradles him and lets his own tears fall into his hair.

"I love you too, Jonny." Kaner says gasping for air.

"Breathe, little man, breathe, it's okay." Jonny consoles.

Kaner inhales a deep breath.

"Jonny?" Kaner says deeply.

"Yeah little man?"

"Will you marry me?"