Chapter Text
CHAPTER ONE
It was not long after they all arrived back in the present and the right time line, cracks begin to show in Harry and Ginny Potter’s marriage.Harry was working long hours at ministry to try and deal with the fallout of the events with the time turner and Ginny was finding any excuse to be out of the house for long periods of time. Albus has returned to school and it was just them in the house.
The couple barely said anything but ‘good morning/evening’ or a ‘hello/goodbye’ to each other. The resistance was more on Ginny’s side which Harry perfectly understood but he just wished she would talk to him. That year, they had celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary earlier in the spring and now it felt like a million years ago. They were happy and even when they had arguments, it would not last as long as this current silence was. Harry feared he was losing his wife.
One evening, he had worked late and was surprised to find when he came home in the early hours of the morning, she had left him some food on the side under a warming charm. He was even more surprised to find it was his favourite steak and kidney pie with roast potatoes, vegetables and gravy. She used to leave him food every time he would come home from a mission when he knew he was coming home. The only difference now was that she had not left him a note like she always had. It was either something funny or loving or even sometimes a little bit sexy.
He could not even remember the last time they had sex. Their marriage was not defined by sex. It was built on trust and communication. They were in their forties now. They were not teenagers any more so desperate for each other’s touch and exploring their bodies for the first time but with everything else, he had never left so distant from her. They had nearly reached the horny teenager level again once Lily left for school last year and had an empty house but now, nothing. If there was anything else going on, Harry would not have minded.
He ate, even though the distance in his marriage was giving him a stomach ache. It almost warmed him temporarily that Ginny had gone out of her way to make his favourite pie. He cleared up after himself then went to bed. She was asleep and was laid on her side. He got into bed quietly. When he used to come back from his missions, even in her sleep, she would roll over onto him and he would wrap his arm around her. Her breathing and skin to skin contact, even after the worst missions, would calm him and send him into a peaceful sleep. Nothing now though.
‘Gin, are you awake?’ he breathed. No response. He turned slightly and raised a hand to softly touch her hair that was fanned down her back. He then sighed and turned over himself with his back to her.
Ginny did not want to be the way she was being. She was just struggling with the events that had happened and nearly losing her son. All that upset and anger was being channelled on Harry. She did not want to do that but it was how she felt. He made it right in the end but she could not help but feel like it was partly, if not his fault. If Albus had gone forever, she did not know - well she did not even want to think about it.
She buried herself in work. Found every excuse not to be at home whilst she tried to shake off the negative feelings. One evening, she finished early and had nothing to do so knew she would have to go home. Harry, on the other hand, was working late which was ideal for her.
She sat with a glass of wine in silence and thought about what was the best thing to do moving forward. She had no idea how she was meant to get past it all. She wanted to calm herself and decided to cook. Because despite how she was feeling - she did not want Harry to starve or have to make food after a long shift. It was a temporary not so recent positive care towards her husband and decided to go with it.
She made his favourite steak and kidney pie. She cut up half for him. She knew he would not eat at work so would come home starving. She cut a little for herself then sat down to eat it. It was whilst she was eating, she broke down in tears.
Ginny did not want to feel this way. She did not want to feel resentment towards her husband of twenty years. The father of her three wonderful but ever so different children. The love of her life. It was just when she thought she had lost Albus forever, her beautiful second son, who looked so much like his Dad, who had been eight weeks early and was different from his siblings, she felt extra protective of him in general. She could not help but blame Harry. She did not want to. Albus and Harry’s relationship had been frosty for some time and she knew Albus had not helped the situation but she guessed she had to blame someone who was not her son.
She sniffed as she wiped away the tears and could not finish the pie. She finished Harry’s meal and put it under a heating charm. She stared at it for a moment. She knew her younger self would leave a note but what could she put? I still love you but I blame you for our son nearly disappearing forever? . She choked and shook her head furiously. She then went to pour herself a bath.
Eventually, she climbed into bed. She had a headache from crying again in the bath and from drinking more wine. A few hours later, she woke up to Harry coming home. He did not know this but she had charmed her lamp many years ago so when the front door opened late at night, it would flashed green a few times and would wake her so she would be ready for him to climb into bed. She gasped. She had forgotten about the charm until then. She remembered how she would roll over to him when he would climb into bed. He would think she was asleep most of the time but she was not. She would soon fall asleep again with the feel of his heartbeat - her favourite comfort in the whole world or she would pretend to wake up and they would make love. It would be so passionate and raw. She shook her head at the memory because she knew they were so far away from that. So far away from anything. She tried to shut her mind off and go back to sleep.
About fifteen minutes later, she heard Harry come in. She tried to make it look like she was asleep. She felt his weight on the mattress but did not roll over - though every bit of her being was screaming at her to.
He then said ‘Gin, are you awake?’
She did not respond. She felt his hand in her hair and it warmed her heart. She had to stop herself from crying . She then heard him sigh and turn over.
Harry woke first in the morning. He turned and saw Ginny was now facing him in her sleep. He knew it probably did not mean much but it was a lot better than her having her back to him. He showered then found she had woken and gone downstairs. He got dressed and headed downstairs himself. He could smell coffee and headed towards the kitchen. They said their usual ‘good mornings’ and he poured himself a cup of caffeine.
He then said the most he had said to her in weeks ‘Thank you for leaving me some food this morning’
‘You’re welcome’ she replied, with a small smile then looked away. He was about to say something else when he saw James’ owl, Persephone, tapping at the window with a letter. He walked over and got the letter. He opened it and read it.
‘It’s from Lily… oh. Gryffindor’s seeker broke their leg and is out of action so Lily is now on the team. James is too distracted with Clara, didn’t you meet her?
‘Yes, she’s Katie Bell’s niece, she’s nice’
Harry nodded ‘Albus is settled back in okay and is ‘boring as ever’. She misses us and can’t wait to see us. She also asks can you send some more treatment for Toby as his fur is looking bad again’
Toby was Lily’s cat. Ginny nodded and sipped her coffee. He then placed the letter down. They drank in silence until he said he was going to go to work.
‘Will you be home late again? I just… just in case I need to leave you some food’ Ginny asked and turned to him.
‘I should be home normal time. Thank you though’
She nodded. There was an awkward silence like there had been for days and weeks. Usually, he would just leave in a hurry after a few moments. Maybe it was the fact she had cried so much the night before, her heart hurt but she walked to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He looked at her in shock and his green eyes met her brown eyes. There was so much to say, to do but the words were lost. He turned to leave then turned back and kissed her hard, his hands cupping her face. It had been their language for so many years. When words lost them, when it was too much, this was how they communicated. She gasped against him but kissed him back. Her hands buried themselves in his hair. A dance that had been done so many times before. She felt herself going backwards towards the kitchen table. A voice in her told her to stop. That this was not the answer. They needed to talk it out but was this not their rawest form of conversation? She felt herself being lifted onto the table. She kicked a chair out of the way to give herself more room to wrap her leg around his waist.She gripped the table for support and it was then she felt the letter from Lily and snapped her out of the daze. She remembered her children. She remembered Albus. She pushed Harry away and shook her head. She held her bruised lips and jumped off the table.
Harry sighed and smoothed his clothes ‘You know, you are going to have to forgive me eventually’
‘I know’ she replied, sadly and bent down to pick up the chair.
‘I love you. I love our kids. Please remember that,’ he sighed.
‘Please, Harry, don’t. Just go to work’
‘You can’t even say it back. Are we that far gone?’ he shook his head.
She gasped and could feel the tears coming again. She ran out of the room and headed towards the bathroom. She locked the door in time as she collapsed down the door.