Chapter Text
“Okay, this was a good idea,” Dani says, taking a sip of her drink and bopping her head to the bass of the music. It’s a relatively quiet night at Dana’s. The place is crowded—it always is—but not so crammed to become overwhelming. Just the type of atmosphere Dani likes.
“What was that? Big bad CEO Daniela Núñez admitting she was wrong?”
Dani rolls her eyes at Gigi’s teasing, but still can’t hold back a toothy grin.
“Don’t get used to it.”
Gigi lets out a small laugh.
“I’ll take what I can get.” She scoots closer on the small couch, almost pressing herself against Dani. There’s a shameless smirk on her face as she lets her eyes wander over Dani’s body. “Especially if it means I get you in this dress.”
A blush spreads over Dani’s cheeks as her stomach flutters pleasantly. She is still getting used to the way Gigi expresses her desire for her, without shyness or restraint. It makes her bolder, to feel so wanted by her girlfriend. It definitely had a role in why she chose to wear that particular dress, Gigi never hid her appreciation for how the tight fabric hugs her curves and the plunging neckline reveals the swell of her breasts.
Dani herself can’t help but let her gaze linger on the low cut of the silk blouse Gigi is wearing, her golden necklaces falling right between her breasts and drawing Dani’s eyes to them. She crosses her legs beneath the table, subtly squeezing her thighs together. Her head feels light, there’s just enough alcohol in her system to make her body buzz while staying present, and she feels good.
After months of constant stress, of drowning in worries and failures and the overwhelming expectations placed on her by her father, she truly didn’t think she would have enough energy for a night out. Gigi had to insist, appealing to all her charm.
But now, sitting there at Dana’s, Gigi’s warm palm squeezing her knee and her lips soft over Dani’s neck, Dani is so happy that she did.
“Thank you for taking me out,” she says, honest. “I really needed it.”
Gigi smiles at her, tucks a dark lock behind Dani’s ear.
“My pleasure, love. All mine.”
They come together for a slow kiss that draws a little noise of pleasure from Dani. She doesn’t care. She leans in and makes it deeper, gently running her tongue against Gigi’s. She feels warm all over. It’s exactly what she needed, to empty her mind of all that piercing heaviness. To forget everything else and just indulge in the hedonistic pleasure of wanting and feeling wanted.
They move to the dance floor after another drink. Gigi pulls Dani to her by her hips, they move together while the music pulses through their bodies. They’re pressed together but it’s not close enough for Dani. She moves her hands across Gigi’s sides while they sway, down her thighs. It’s addictive, the way she can see Gigi’s eyes darken in response to her movements. She makes it worse by grinding her hips against Gigi’s, rolling in a way that pushes their breasts together.
She lets Gigi turn her around and pull her flush against her, Gigi’s hands about her waist guiding their movements, forcing Dani’s ass against her center. Dani feels the heat thrumming between her legs, her pulse racing as Gigi moves her palm up Dani’s stomach and lets her fingers tease the underside of her breast.
Dani sags against Gigi, lost in a fog of want. She tilts her head to the side, chasing Gigi’s lips, but she lands with her open mouth on her cheekbone. She is aware that they must look indecent, but Gigi rolls her hips into her and drags her teeth across her jawline and she cannot find it in her to give a single fuck about it.
She turns into Gigi’s arms and the hot pressure in her core intensifies, because Gigi is looking at her like she would be ready to go down on her knees there, in the middle of the dance floor.
They have the same thought at the same moment.
“Bathroom?”
Dani shivers at the glint of lust she sees in Gigi’s eyes after her question.
They look towards where the bathrooms are. The small queue of people standing outside for their turn is like a cold shower. Dani can’t help but groan out loud, eliciting a laugh from Gigi.
“It’s fine,” Gigi says, kissing the pout on Dani’s face. “We would’ve had to rush it. And tonight,” She puts her lips to Dani’s ear, dragging each word on her tongue in a low tone, “I really want to take my time with you.”
Dani swallows hard, feeling goosebumps rising all over her skin. Her mind is running already, with everything Gigi could do to her, everything she could do to Gigi in return.
“Besides,” Gigi says, unexpectedly pulling back. “We have an audience.”
She nods at something over Dani’s shoulder, and Dani turns, in equal parts confused and curious. Her eyes skim over the crowd, but once she sees what Gigi meant, she freezes.
Sophie is there. Sitting at the bar by herself. Very much staring at them.
Her eyes meet Dani’s and go wide. Realizing she was caught, she snaps her head in the opposite direction, burying her face in her drink.
“Fuck,” Dani says, still looking at her. “I didn’t see her.”
“Wanna go say hi?”
Dani turns to Gigi, her features twisting into an apprehensive frown. The suggestion is less than appealing. Even after all the months that passed, she is still a bit cautious when it comes to Sophie, still feels raw and tender even though those wounds have healed and scarred over, in great part thanks to Gigi.
“Don’t look so scared,” Gigi says with a small laugh. “She’s not gonna bite. At least I don’t think so.”
“I should, shouldn’t I?”
Gigi softens, rubbing Dani’s arm soothingly.
“You aren’t forced to do anything, Dani.”
Dani hesitates, her eyes still fixed on Sophie’s figure. A part of her wants to, she knows there is nothing to fear and wants to get rid of the anxiousness that plagues her whenever she runs into her ex. The other part of her is telling her to grab Gigi’s hand and head for the exit.
“How about this,” Gigi says, taking her out of her thoughts. “I go freshen up and get you another drink. And when I’m done, I’ll come rescue you.”
“I don’t need rescue.”
Gigi chuckles.
“Of course you don’t, boss lady.”
She cups Dani’s face and kisses her, grounding her enough to take away at least some of her nerves.
“You got this,” she says with confidence when she pulls back, adjusting the hem of Dani’s dress.
Dani makes to answer, but her reply turns into a surprised yelp because Gigi’s hand suddenly traces the curve of her ass and gives a quick squeeze. She glares at Gigi, but only receives a cheeky wink in return. Then Gigi disappears into the crowd and Dani is on her own.
For a long moment, Dani just fidgets on the spot, nervously moving her gaze from Sophie to her table. “Stop being a fucking idiot,” she thinks, steeling herself. She takes a deep breath, musters all her courage, and walks up to Sophie, striding with a confidence she doesn’t feel.
Sophie is still turned away from her by the time she gets there.
“Hi.”
Sophie spins around on the stool, startled.
“Hey…” Sophie starts, her voice raspy. Dani can’t help but find some comfort in seeing that her ex seems to be struggling as much as she is. “Fuck, sorry for staring. I was just surprised to see you.”
“No, it’s okay. I didn’t know you were here either. You alone or…?”
“I’m third-wheeling Micah and Maribel. But I’m pretty sure they’re fucking in Shane’s office so I guess, yeah.”
Instinctively, Dani turns in the direction where she knows the office to be. She had no idea that Micah would also be there. Something twists unpleasantly deep in her stomach. Although she did repair her friendship with him, she can’t help but feel a crack still open in her relationship with her best friend. She knows she is mainly to blame for it. She wishes it was easier for her, to allow herself to trust people.
When she turns back to Sophie, she finds her eyes on her. They’re glazed over with alcohol, dark circles surrounding them, but her gaze is piercing.
“You look really good,” she unexpectedly says, something wistful in her voice that confuses Dani.
“Thanks. You do, too.”
Sophie lets out a joyless laugh, shaking her head.
“You could never lie to me, Dani,” she says before downing half of her drink in one go.
She is right, Dani’s comment was mainly a polite reflex. In reality, it didn’t go unnoticed to her, just how exhausted Sophie looks. Despite herself, Dani feels a pang of worry. After caring for someone for over seven years, unlearning that instinct doesn’t come easy.
“Are you okay?” she asks, tentatively leaning closer.
“Fucking great,” Sophie says with a sarcastic smile. She raises her glass, waving it at Dani and making the ice cubes inside it clink together. Dani can’t help but wonder just how many Sophie had since she got there. “I’m just loading up now while I still can. Finley’s coming out soon.”
“Right.” Dani clenches her jaw reflexively. The last time she saw the other woman, wrecked and unrecognizable, is still burned into her mind. “Micah told me about her. Is she doing okay?”
“As well as you can do in rehab. I’m glad she’s there, but…”
She lets the words hang and takes more of her drink, her face clouding over. She is visibly miserable and Dani doesn’t quite have it in her to comfort her about the woman she cheated on her with. But she does what she can, choking back any bad feeling she has about Finley, and tries to be a better person.
“It must be hard for you. It probably wasn’t what you imagined.”
That’s when Sophie looks at her. Her eyes darken, take on a hostile glimmer.
“Is that why you came here? To gloat?”
Dani frowns, completely taken aback.
“Gloat?” she asks, struggling to believe what Sophie just said.
“What, you wanna hear that everything is shit in my life since I cheated on you?”
Dani scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. Anger bubbles up and threatens to spill, to turn her into the bitter, resentful person she’s working so fucking hard not to be anymore. It takes all her energy to restrain herself, and still, the pain and anger remain.
“Alright, y’know what? Bye, Sophie. Have a good fucking night.”
She makes to leave, not willing to spend another second there, when Sophie suddenly grabs her wrist, holding her back.
“Sorry, wait— I’m sorry.”
She quickly lets go of Dani when she turns around, passing a hand over her face to rub the haze of drunkenness out of her eyes.
“That was shitty, you don’t deserve it.”
Dani remains defensive, her body tense and her eyes severe. A sharp retort is ready at the back of her throat, just aching to be released. Six months ago, she would’ve given in to that instinct. She hears the honesty in Sophie’s voice, though, and makes the effort to listen to that instead.
“Okay,” she says, softening slighter. Sophie relaxes too, gives a small, grateful smile.
“It’s just harder than I thought it would be,” she confesses.
“That’s just how life works.”
Sophie nods. An awkward silence spreads between them after that. Sophie finishes what’s left of her drink while Dani looks around, instinctively searching for Gigi. She spots her across the club, ordering a drink at the other end of the counter. Seeing her is enough to spread a soothing warmth through Dani’s chest. If nothing else, she has her.
“And you?” Sophie asks. “You look happy with…”
“Gigi.”
“Yeah. Gigi.”
Something about the way Sophie says her name doesn’t ring right with Dani. She ignores it. She doesn’t want any more bad feelings for the night, she just wants to go home with Gigi and impress onto her body how grateful she is to have her in her life.
“Going steady?”
“Very,” Dani answers. She turns toward Gigi again, a smile slowly stretching on her face. “She’s exactly what I needed.”
A low chuckle from Sophie catches Dani’s attention.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Sophie replies with a shrug, but the smile is still there. It makes Dani’s skin prickle uncomfortably.
“If you have something to say, just say it, Sophie.”
“Dani, look. I’m drunk and it’s none of my business. If you’re happy, then I’m really happy for you.”
“That sounds like the type of PR spin you’d give me shit for when we were together.”
“So you agree that being with you was non-stop digging through a PR filter.”
Dani inhales deeply, trying to remain calm against the anger rising. Before she can reply, Sophie laughs.
“I’m joking, come on.”
“Ha. Funny,” Dani says, deadpan.
She glances at Gigi and feels a wave of relief when the other woman meets her eyes. She smiles at Dani, nodding her head in acknowledgment, and Dani cannot wait to be back with her. The comfort Gigi is able to give her with a simple look, a steadying touch, is something Dani has never had before.
“I can’t remember the last time I saw you like this,” Sophie says with a little smile. “Your eyes shining and all. It’s nice.”
Dani blinks, thrown by the sincerity in Sophie’s voice. It brings back memories she thought were shredded for good, of a time when it would have been Sophie’s voice to soothe her more than anything.
“It was the day of our wedding,” Dani whispers, struggling to hold back a sudden wave of emotion. It seems like a lifetime ago, but for a moment, the wound pulses as if torn open yesterday. “And I was looking at you.”
“You never looked at me like that, Dani.”
She could reply, try to make Sophie see how wrong she is, to remind her how madly in love she was, even if she failed at showing it. She doesn’t feel the need to say anything. There’s relief in that knowledge, in the awareness that she can let the past be the past. Her present is all the more delicious for it.
“Then I hope that now you have someone who does,” she just says.
“Damn,” Sophie shakes her head, chuckling a little. “Still the same walls, uh? Not showing any weakness.”
“No, Soph. You just don’t get to see them anymore.”
“But she does.”
“Exactly.”
Sophie lifts her empty glass in a mock toast.
“You’re lucky you found her, then.”
“Why does it sound like you don’t believe a single word you said?” Dani asks with a tight smile. Sophie’s tone awoke something in her, a surge of protectiveness towards Gigi. It’s probably not warranted, Gigi would definitely tell her she doesn’t need it, nevertheless she feels it.
“I told you, I’m drunk, Dani.”
“In vino veritas, isn’t that right?”
Sophie laughs, gesturing at the busy bartender to draw her attention.
“Your life, Dani. I have nothing against her, I don’t even know her. I just find your double standards funny.”
“What are you talking about?” Dani asks, confused.
“You said cheating was a deal-breaker when it came to me. But suddenly, you have no issues dating another cheater. I find that… funny.”
It stuns Dani into silence. The shock of what Sophie just said hits her like a gut-punch, paralyzing her for a moment. She wants to tell Sophie to shut the fuck up, to laugh at her and tell her it’s all nonsense, but any remark dies at the back of her throat.
That protective instinct comes back more violent than before. But though her words are centered on Gigi, this time, it’s herself Dani feels the need to protect. From the slowly rising anxiety that’s starting to grip her against all will and effort.
“You don’t know her,” she croaks out, failing miserably in her attempt to sound confident. “And you have no right to judge my choices, or my relationship with—”
“Judge? I’m not judging anyone, Dani,” Sophie cuts her off. “You’re the one who said you could never trust someone who cheated. But I meant it when I said that I’m happy if she makes you happy. I guess you saw something in her that made you change your entire point of view.”
Dani remains silent. Her insides twist into a tight knot, nausea accompanying each clench. She tells herself it’s nothing, nothing she doesn’t know already, and wills herself to tell Sophie that she is right, that Gigi is different and she trusts her with everything. But her throat is clogged, and thoughts she doesn’t want are already slithering inside her head, triggering deep-seated fears that were never really killed, only muted.
She opened herself to Gigi—to someone—and with that opened herself to the possibility of being hurt again, and a lifelong instinct awakens and thrums inside her, a knifelike hiss.
Doubt. Fear. Run.
Doubt. Fear. Run.
Doubt. Fear –
“Hello!”
Dani flinches like a deer in the headlights when Gigi suddenly appears next to her. She’s got a bright smile on her face, and a Martini in her hand.
“I hope I didn’t interrupt,” Gigi says, leaning up to press a lingering kiss on Dani’s cheek, purposefully close to the corner of her mouth. Sophie instinctively looks away, her face twisting in poorly-concealed discomfort.
When Gigi pulls back, Dani forces a tight-lipped smile on her face, trying to act normal.
“Here’s your drink, love,” Gigi hands Dani the glass and turns to Sophie, smiling just as wide. If she has any antipathy towards her, she doesn’t show it.
“How are you, Sophie?” Gigi inches closer to Sophie and gives her two cheek kisses that definitely take her by surprise. She points at her empty glass. “Looks like you’re out. Can I get you anything else to drink?”
“I think she’ll be good with a water,” Dani says with a stiff voice.
“She’s right,” Sophie agrees. “I’m done for tonight. Thank you, though.”
“Then do you mind if I steal this one?”
Gigi smiles and crosses her arm with Dani’s. Dani doesn’t miss the way she sweetly rubs her thumb across her forearm. Unlike before, though, Dani remains on the edge.
“I was leaving anyway,” Sophie says. She smiles at both, but her gaze lingers on Dani, taking on a sad tinge. “It was good to see you.”
“Likewise,” Gigi says.
“Yeah… bye, Sophie,” Dani mumbles. Then she lets Gigi drag her away and back to their table.
“So…” Gigi starts with an amused grin. “Any bite marks?”
Dani smiles and plays along, shaking her head. She tries to empty her mind, to forget everything that Sophie said to her and to resume her night as it was before, serene and happy.
But Sophie’s words have dug their claws into her, and when a waitress comes to them to clean their table, Dani freezes on the bright smile Gigi flashes at her.
And her chest grows tight.
By the time they get to Gigi’s apartment, a couple of hours later, the air between them is completely different, thick with a tension Dani is too lost in her thoughts to even notice.
“So are you going to tell me what happened at some point?” Gigi asks while pouring both a glass of water.
It makes Dani stiffen even more. She should have learned by now, just how direct Gigi is when it comes to talking things out. She is better for it, she knows that. But logic is of no appeal to her in this moment. Instead, she retreats further into herself.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, Dani. Maybe you could tell me why you’ve barely said a word since you talked with Sophie.”
“That seems like an exaggeration,” Dani chuckles nervously, chugging down her water. Gigi isn’t laughing with her.
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, too much. I’m fine, nothing happened,” Dani shrugs. “I’m just tired. It hit me out of nowhere, I guess.”
“So it’s all in my head.”
“Exactly.”
Gigi doesn’t say anything for a long moment, staring at Dani in a way that makes her want to squirm. She walks around the kitchen island and comes to stand in front of Dani, taking the glass from her hand and putting it down.
Her hand cups Dani’s cheek and then she is kissing her. Slowly, her mouth soft against Dani’s. Dani goes rigid. Taken by surprise, she keeps her lips shut, doesn’t respond in any way she normally would. It’s just a moment, she wills her body to relax, but before she can recover, Gigi pulls back.
Her eyes are stern, knowing.
“You really think I’m stupid?”
Dani immediately grows defensive.
“Look, it’s fine. It’s nothing important, okay?”
She turns away from Gigi, feeling caught, and starts pacing aimlessly across the room. Gigi is right behind her, though, just as stubborn as she is.
“Just talk to me. Did she say something that hurt you?”
Anxiety creeps up Dani’s throat, makes her struggle to breathe normally.
“No. Can we just…?”
“You said it’s nothing important,” Gigi insists. “It means that something did happen.”
“God, can you not do that, please?” Dani huffs, turning to look at Gigi. “For once, don’t try to overanalyze everything or to overanalyze… me.”
She feels cornered and it makes her aggressive, in a way she knows Gigi doesn’t deserve.
“Overanalyze… Dani, I don’t want to push you,” Gigi says softly. She steps closer, tentatively reaching out with a hand on Dani’s arm. She lets it drop, defeated, when Dani only tenses in response to the touch. “I’m just trying to understand here.”
Dani feels awful, seeing the confusion written on Gigi’s face. But opening up this conversation would mean diving deeper into a feeling that is threatening to make her feel sick right there in the middle of Gigi’s apartment.
“There is nothing to understand,” she whispers, aggressively rubbing at her eyes. She can feel a sharp headache building behind them already.
“You know I’d never force you,” Gigi repeats. “If you need to not talk about it for tonight we can do that. Just…”
“Yes. Yes, that’s what I need.”
“…Did I do something?”
Dani’s eyes snap to Gigi. She feels a pang in her chest at the way Gigi is looking at her, a worried crease on her forehead and her eyes sad and filled with concern.
“Please, if I did something that upset you, I need you to tell me. We were all over each other at Dana’s, and now… now you can hardly look at me.”
Her voice shakes on the last part, small and heavy with the same pain Dani can see in her eyes. It’s unbearable. A part of her wants to open up and explain to Gigi, just to make that look go away. But how to put it into words, that she is unwittingly second-guessing everything because she was hurt so bad that her ability to trust was damaged for good? That she hears Sophie’s words like a thorn in her brain, triggering question she never had so far because it was easier to ignore this truth about Gigi’s past.
What is she going to do if I run? If she had it in her to hurt her wife, how easy would it be for her to hurt me?
“Dani.”
“What? You’re upset because I changed my mind and I don’t want to have sex with you tonight?”
Dani sees it right away, the shock that hits Gigi at her words, followed by a flash of hurt through her dark eyes. It settles deep, twist at her features until they’re a mask of stone, and even though she doesn’t utter a word, doesn’t make a single sound, Dani feels the need to flinch away as if being yelled at.
“You sure have a way to twist my words into the shittiest thing possible,” Gigi finally says after a thick silence, her voice so cold it cuts through Dani like an ice blade under her skin.
She can’t handle it, not tonight. She takes the easy way out.
“I think I’m gonna go home.”
Gigi scoffs, looking at Dani as though she can’t believe what she’s hearing.
“I’m not running or shutting down or doing whatever the fuck it is you’re thinking about. I just want to sleep in my bed, I have a long day tomorrow.”
To Dani’s surprise, Gigi doesn’t rebut. Her gaze stays on Dani, unflinching where Dani feels more and more like curling in on herself. The bitterness fades from her face though, replaced by a deep sorrow.
“You said you have no meetings tomorrow,” she says quietly, and Dani feels a chill run down her spine. “It’s why we picked tonight to go out.”
Dani lowers her gaze, shame eating away at her. She hears Gigi’s sigh, hears all the defeat and exhaustion in it.
“I’ll drive you home.”
“I can take a Lyft.”
Gigi throws her arms up, giving in to anger and frustration.
“You know what? Sure, okay. I’m fucking tired of chasing.” She turns away from Dani without a single pause and storms off. “Sorry for upsetting you with all my questions. Sleep well in your bed.”
The slamming of the bathroom door echoes through the apartment. Dani stands there for a moment, her limbs heavy. She considers going after Gigi, knocking on the door and apologizing and trusting Gigi will hold her as she opens up about something that terrifies her to her core.
Ten minutes later, she is in a car on her way home, alone.
Dani doesn’t cry. She cried all the tears she had in her body when her mother died, and since then, shedding a tear has been rarer for her than rain in Los Angeles. But as she drives to the loneliness of her apartment, she sees the pain on Gigi’s face, hears the way her voice cracked when she walked away.
And her eyes sting.