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9
“Your mom said we’re not supposed to go in the water without her Clarke!”
“Don’t be such a baby Lexa!” Clarke let her toes touch the edge of the water, rocks slippery under her feet, the cold water almost stinging her skin. But it felt so nice compared to the heat, and Clarke wanted to feel more.
She walked forward another few inches, letting the gently lapping water cover her feet. Giggling, she rushed back to Lexa’s side, who had stood her ground by the towels at the river’s bank.
Lexa glare at Clarke. “Your mom is gonna be mad.”
Clarke brushed down her suit, rolling her eyes. “No way. My bathing suit isn’t even wet.” She twirled, showing her perfectly dry suit to her friend.
Lexa continued to glare. Clarke shrugged, sitting down on the blanket.
A minute later, Clarke’s mother and father returned, hands full of more equipment for their outing.
“Keep everything safe girls?” Jake questioned, ruffling the top of Clarke’s hair, Clarke whining and trying to pat it down after.
Lexa responded, “Yes Mr. Griffin.”
Jake playfully glared at Lexa, “Lexa, what have I told you about calling me Mr. Griffin?”
Lexa kicked the dirt, not liking being reprimanded. “Not to.”
Jake gave a quick nod. “That’s right.”
Lexa watched as he leaned over to kiss Abby on the cheek, picking Clarke up in his arms. Even though he grunted and Lexa could tell her was struggling to hold her (they were seven now, after all), he refused to put down his daughter.
Lexa could feel the love coming from this family.
She loved just being around it.
Jake stormed the river, Abby yelling at him to be careful, but the man jumped into the river, yelling “GERONIMO!” while Clarke screamed along.
Lexa looked on in fascination, carefully taking Abby’s offered hand to walk closer to the river. Clarke was yelling at her dad to do it again, but Jake only laughed and gave his wife a sheepish grin.
As Clarke and Jake left the water, Lexa tugged on the edge of his wet t-shirt, prompting him to look down at the young girl.
“What was that word that you said before going into the water?” Lexa asked. She’d never heard that word used before. Which was funny, because Lexa knew a lot of words that Clarke didn’t know.
“Which one? Geronimo?” Lexa nodded. Jake scratched his chin, putting Clarke back down on the ground as he kneeled in front of the girls. “People use it as a way to say “I’m kind of scared about doing this, but I’m going to do it anyway because I know I’ll be better for it in the end.”
Lexa tilted her head. Jake saw her confusion, and asked. “You know how sometimes in school, you have to talk in front of people, and your tummy gets all full of butterflies?” Lexa and Clarke both confirmed with a nod. “Well, before you speak, say Geronimo, and I promise, it’ll help get rid of those butterflies, okay?”
They weren’t totally confused, but the pair nodded anyway. They were tired of listening to Clarke’s father speak anyway. Now it was time to swim.
10
The school play. One of the most dreaded moments of any kids’ life. And poor Lexa had to give the big speech at the end.
She stood in the wings of the stage, watching the other kids of her class sing a song. She could see Clarke’s blonde hair, right at the front while she sang the solo. Her parents sat near the front row, beaming, and a small camera in hand.
Lexa looked over the crowd. She didn’t see her parents anywhere.
Lexa glanced down at her hands. She couldn’t do this. She bolted through the open doors backstage, hurrying down the hallway.
Crouching down next to a wall, Lexa took a deep breath. Clarke was so much better at standing up and talking to people. She wished she could be more like Clarke.
She heard footsteps, looking up to see Abby Griffin coming down the hallway, giving her a gentle smile before sitting down next to her, staring at the opposite wall.
“Scared?” Abby asked, and Lexa nodded.
“Do you remember what Jake told you a few months ago? What was that word again?”
“Geronimo,” Lexa mumbled.
“Ah yes. Geronimo,” Abby chuckled. “You know Jake, he’s used that word for years. He said it before every test in college, before he asked me to marry him, just after Clarke was born…”
“Why?” Lexa questioned. She turned to Abby, now curious.
“Because whenever Jake felt scared, or nervous, it made him feel like he could still do what he needed or wanted to. And because, he knew that sometimes you had to do things in life that you don’t like, but after they are done, life works out.
“So Lexa, I’m going to tell you what Jake told Clarke to do before the show. I want to take a deep breath, and say Geronimo as many times as you need to. Then, you’re going to go on stage and give your big speech. Think you can do that?”
“Yeah,” Lexa nodded again. If even Clarke did this to make her feel better, than surely this word had amazing power.
“Let’s hear it then!” Abby gave her an encouraging smile, and Lexa steeled her voice, standing up, shouting down the hallway,
“GERONIMO!”
Abby laughed, and Lexa smiled. “Feel a little better?”
“Yeah!”
“Alright, then let’s get this show on the road,” Abby stood, brushing her pants off, then offering a hand down to Lexa to pull the small girl up.
Lexa accepted the hand, then ran back to the stage door, whispering Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo, under her breath.
14
Lexa held Clarke close to her, Clarke’s entire body shaking as tears coated her cheeks. At the front of the church, a beautiful casket sat closed, the wooden box encasing the body of Clarke’s father.
The church was filled with Jake’s friends, coworkers, family. Abby stood at the podium, fingers gripped white on the polished wood, as she tried to choke out the words to her husband’s eulogy.
Clarke’s head tucked itself under Lexa’s chin. She wished there was something she could do for her friend, wished she could change the world and bring Jake Griffin back into all their lives.
But the dead were gone, and no matter the hunger to have them return, Lexa was well aware that the best way to find solace from the pain was to keep moving forward.
The priest stepped forward, calling Clarke to the podium. Clarke took a deep shaky breath, gripping Lexa’s hand. She didn’t let go, dragging Lexa up the few steps. Clarke’s hand brushed the mahogany, and if Lexa hadn’t been standing right next to her, she never would have heard the quiet whisper.
“Geronimo,” Clarke muttered, continuing on to the podium. Lexa stood by her side, listening to her best friend talk about her father, about the wonderful man who taught her to fall even when she was scared.
She squeezed Clarke’s hand, and Clarke squeezed back.
17
“There’s no way I’m doing this Lexa!”
“Stop being such a wuss Clarke!” Lexa yelled, hands cupped around her mouth. She laughed at Clarke’s dubious look, splashing the water around her. “Come on, the water’s great!”
Clarke stared down at her friend, her arms tucked tight around her as she peered over the waterfall edge. It wasn’t high, and she knew the pool at the bottom was deep. She and Lexa had frequented this river since childhood. If Lexa could jump it…
“Nope! No way!” Clarke shook her head, backing away from the rocky edge. She tugged at the strings of her bikini. “I don’t think my bathing suit would survive it!”
“Lame!” Lexa yelled, keeping her feet up to float on her back. She smirked. “Told you I was braver!”
Clarke stilled. No way was Lexa winning this.
Taking a deep breath, Clarke ran to the edge, jumping off the cliff side, screaming, “GERONIMO!”
She shrieked until she hit the water, sinking into the clear blue water. Keeping her eyes closed, Clarke swam up, her smile wide as she breached laughing loud.
When she opened her eyes, she found herself face to face with Lexa, whose cheeks had turned cherry red. Her eyes tried their hardest to not look down.
“What’s wrong Lex?” Clarke teased. “Surprised I did it?”
Lexa shook her head, only twisting her head to face next to where they were floating.
Looking over, Clarke spotted her top floating in the water. Her cheeks colored to match Lexa’s. Quickly grabbing it, she turned away from Lexa to pull the strings around her body.
“Thanks for not looking,” she mumbled. Lexa cleared her throat.
“You’re welcome.” She still refused to look Clarke in the eye.
Clarke smiled. Her best friend was ridiculously noble. She closed the small distance between them, placing a hand on one side of Lexa’s face while leaning forward to leave a kiss on her cheek.
Lexa’s eyes were blown, her whole head swinging around to look at Clarke.
Clarke smiled, her gaze gentle and happy. Lexa returned the look. They waded in the water, drifting closer and closer….
Until Clarke sent a spray of water directly into Lexa’s face.
Lexa dropped her jaw, her eyes turning to steel. “Oh, it’s on.” She lunged, throwing her weight on top of Clarke, sending them both deeper into the water.
This continued on, the pair giggling and screaming, flinging water at each other until the sun began to sink, the air starting to chill.
They left the water, wrapping towels around themselves, scrambling up the rocks to watch the sun set beneath the horizon.
Staying silent, Lexa inched her hand closer to Clarke’s, brushing her pinkie finger over the skin of Clarke’s hand, before she realized what she was doing, and quickly moved her hand back. Clarke took notice, closing the distance, twisting their fingers together. They both continued to look straight ahead, neither noticing the smile on the other’s face.
18
“Where are you taking me Clarke? We’ve been walking forever, and I’ve tripped three times because of this dumb blindfold.” Lexa tugged at the edges of the bandana covering her eyes, only to have them slapped away.
“It’s not dumb,” Clarke admonished. “And we’re almost there.”
Lexa heard the sound of rushing water, crashing hard over rocks, falling from high above them.
Clarke laced their hands together, guiding her slowly over slippery rocks, until Lexa felt a spray of water hitting her face.
“I need you to take a deep breath okay?” Clarke said, voice raised to be heard of the falls.
Lexa simply nodded, taking a deep breath, Clarke pulling her through a curtain of fast falling water, shocking Lexa, sending all the air out of her lungs.
She was drenched, from head to foot. “Clarke, what the hell-”
The blindfold was pulled away from her eyes, revealing a small cavern, a picnic basket, a blanket laid out, lanterns lighting the rock walls. At the exit, a waterfall crashed over the opening, casting a cool mist into the cave.
“Happy birthday, Lex,” Clarke smiled proudly, still holding onto Lexa’s hands.
Lexa turned toward her best friend, staring at her in awe. Her kind, thoughtful, over the top best friend, who dragged her out into who knows where so they could have a picnic behind a waterfall.
“What?” Clarke’s face turned nervous. “I know you said you didn’t want to celebrate your birthday, but you’re turning eighteen Lexa, and that deserves at least some kind of party, even if it is just the two of us, and…” She stopped, seeing the odd look in Lexa’s eyes. “What are you looking at?”
Lexa pulled Clarke closer. Flush against each other, Lexa searched Clarke’s face for any sign of doubt, before whispering Geronimo against Clarke’s lips, letting them meet for the first time.
There was a pause, while Clarke processed the kiss. After a moment, she returned the kiss, raising her arms to wrap around Lexa’s neck, smiling into the kiss.
Lexa’s arms encircled Clarke’s waist, keeping Clarke close to her.
They stood behind the waterfall, the water blocking out the world, their kiss gentle, lips barely touching, two friends becoming more, losing themselves in each other.
Lexa leaned her head back, breaking the kiss, moving a lock of Clarke’s hair behind her ear, keeping the other hand firmly around her waist.
“Geronimo,” Clarke returned, this time leaning forward to kiss Lexa.
19
“I don’t know if I can keep doing this Lexa,” Clarke cried, her voice shaking over the phone.
Lexa almost dropped her cell phone. She knew the long distance would be hard. Clarke was in college on the West Coast, while Lexa remained to attend school in New York.
“Clarke baby, please think about this,” Lexa begged, collapsing onto her bed. “I love you, please.”
“I love you too, Lexa, but this hurts too much. I can’t stand being away from you, and I can feel myself getting angry about it. I don’t want to be angry at you. I’m sorry Lexa,” and the line went dead.
Lexa stared at her phone. Her girlfriend, her best friend, her everything, had broken up with her over the phone. The phone.
They both knew that college would be rough. But they had dreams to chase, and neither wanted the other to give up on those. But Lexa’s most important dream was Clarke, and their future. The future they were supposed to share together.
She fell back onto her bed. She shed no tears. Part of her was still in shock. What did she do? What could she do?
Should she call Clarke back? Should she go to California? Find Clarke and convince her that yes, they were strong enough for this?
So many questions swam around her head. No amount of thinking and pondering could stop her. Her thoughts became more and more desperate, tears springing into her eyes as everything seemed more hopeless.
Days passed, eventually weeks, and not a word from Clarke. Lexa tried to call, twice, sent multiple texts, even an email, but after no response, gave up. If Clarke didn’t want her near, then Lexa would back away.
As Lexa packed her dorm room, getting everything into boxes to be put in storage for the summer vacation, a banging knock sounded through her room.
Looking up, confused as she was not expecting anyone, she looked through the peephole. It was almost midnight, so no one should be at her door.
She spied a shock of brilliant blonde hair, and her heart dropped. She swung the door open, revealing a travel worn and shaking Clarke.
“Lexa…” she reached a hand out, her eyes begging Lexa to take it. “I’m sorry.”
Right now, Lexa needed nothing more. She missed Clarke too much, missed her voice, her touch, everything that this amazing girl had. She took Clarke’s hand, pulling her in for a desperate kiss. Nails scratched along skin, teeth bit and nipped, both girls hungry to fall into each other.
Lexa guided Clarke back to the small twin bed, thankfully not stripped of its sheets just yet, leading Clarke to sit so she could straddle Clarke’s lap. She cupped Clarke’s face, leaving gentle kisses all over her skin, her forehead, her closed eyelids, before reacquainting their mouths again. Clarke’s hands went to her hips, leisurely traveling up her shirt, mapping out the strong muscles of Lexa’s back.
Lexa stood, taking off her shirt, before pulling the fabric of Clarke’s jacket from her shoulders, letting Clarke finish removing it, while slowly undoing each button of Clarke’s shirt. Clarke gazed up at her, eyes tracing every feature.
“Lexa, I-” Lexa cut her off with a kiss.
“We can talk later. Right now, I just need you,” Lexa pushed the edges of Clarke’s shirt away, before directing Clarke to lay down on the pillows of her bed. Clarke stared for a moment, before pushing up onto her elbows to meet Lexa’s mouth again. Her hand tangled in wild brown hair, while Lexa’s hand explored the plane of Clarke’s stomach, reveling in the soft skin, before hitting the barrier of her bra. Lexa reached down, deftly undoing the clasp, guiding the straps down, prompting Clarke to move her hands so she could remove. Clarke did the same to her, undoing her bra, though Lexa shrugged out of it, before settling down on top of Clarke.
They kissed, hands finding old and new patterns on each other’s skin, neither wanting to break the moment.
Hands continued to move, finding sensitive places that earned moans and mewls, arching backs and taut muscles. Fingers clutched arms and hair, breathy sounds escaping both as they brought each other to the edge, over and over again.
When they both had more than they could handle, Clarke moved to curl into Lexa, taking the sheets at the end of the bed up to cover them both. Lexa wrapped an arm around her, kissing Clarke’s neck before nuzzling into the soft skin. They laid in silence, before Lexa couldn’t resist questioning Clarke.
“What made you come back?” Lexa asked. She kept her voice soft, connecting the marks on Clarke’s arm with her fingers.
Clarke took a moment to answer. “This is going to sound so silly…” She turned in Lexa’s arms. “I was going in to take a test, and like always, just as we’ve always done,” she touched Lexa’s face. “I told myself, Geronimo, and I realized that the whole reason my dad taught us that, was because he knew that there would be times when we need to take to leap and go for it.
“I’m sorry I was afraid to take the leap with you, Lexa,” Clarke kissed her. “I’m sorry that I was scared of the distance, of what could happen, instead of making what I wanted to happen.”
“I forgive you,” Lexa said, touching her forward to Clarke’s. “From now on, we take the leap together, okay?”
“Okay.”
25
“I swear to God, Lexa, if you do not stop pacing, I will bolt your feet to the ground.”
Lexa glared at her sister, not taking heed of the warning. Anya sighed, shaking her head as Lexa continued to pace.
“We’re ready to get started,” a head popped out from behind the large wooden door. “Ready to do this?”
Lexa swallowed, tugging at the edges of the black jacket. “Yeah, Abby.” Abby beamed, pushing the door open to the chapel.
Lexa walked down the aisle. Friends and family turned and smiled at her, and she managed to smile back. Anya pressed a hand into the small of her back, guiding her up to the altar. Lexa was sure Anya could feel the trembling through the suit.
Lexa took her place on the dais, Anya coming to stand in front of her. Anya pressed down the lapels of the jacket, straightening her corsage. Lexa looked up at her sister, her eyes wide.
“I’m so proud of you Lexa,” Anya whispered, before leaning forward and kissing Lexa’s forehead. Lexa watched as Anya stepped behind her, the beautiful purple of her dress spreading out behind her.
A minute later, the double doors opened. The crowd turned, a small laugh breaking out as a small puppy strutted down the aisle, and a bowtie tied his neck. A basket clutched in his mouth, petals slipped from the sides as he rushed towards Lexa. Lexa crouched to the ground, petting him on the head when he stopped in front of her.
“Good boy, Jake,” Lexa whispered. She stood, giving him the hand signal to sit. He diligently followed, though his tail never stopped wagging.
Raven and Wick followed, with Octavia and Bellamy behind them. And behind them, was possibly the most beautiful sight Lexa had ever seen.
Clarke, dressed in pure white, the skirt of her dress fluttering behind her. A bouquet of purple and white roses in her hands, a matching purple sash around her waist. A strapless bodice clung tight around Clarke’s waist and chest. Her hair, pinned back except for a few strands curled around her face. Small crystal pins tucked into the bun, her make up light but highlighting her every feature, Lexa would swear she was staring at an angel.
Time slowed, as Clarke met her eyes, so gentle and so kind. All of a sudden, Clarke was standing in front of her, face to face. Clarke handed off her bouquet, instantly lacing her fingers with Lexa’s.
The pastor began speaking, but neither Lexa nor Clarke heard a word of it. The only time they paid attention was when the pastor asked if they would swear to be with each other until death. Without a second thought, Lexa answered, “I do.”
The pastor turned to Clarke, and before she could finish, Clarke answered her question with an equally fervent “I do.”
The crowd laughed, and the pastor gave them permission to kiss. They met in the middle, hands still held tight as they kissed. They parted, foreheads touching, eyes closed as everyone clapped. They both opened their eyes, green meeting blue.
“Ready to take the leap?” Clarke asked.
“Geronimo,” Lexa answered, pulling Clarke back against her, hugging her tight.
They turned to walk down the aisle, smiling wider than either ever thought possible. Outside the church, they laughed as they hurried down the last few steps, Clarke tripping in her heels on the last few steps, Lexa catching her at the foot of the steps.
“Thank you for catching me,” Clarke said.
“Always.”