Chapter Text
"Listen, Trey-"
"YOU listen first...PLEASE."
"OK...alright. You go."
"Dr. Adriana-your Mom-referred me to a colleague of hers in Seattle; I've spoken to her for the last month since you've been
away... to be real about it you're still away, from what I can see and she has some advice I've decided to take:
she believes that time will bring you back to me, and I want to believe that, with everything in me. That if you allow yourself
permission and time to feel your loss and what exactly that loss means to you. Trying to ignore your feelings or covering them
up with distractions will only prolong the healing process and keep you in an emotional state of distress. It’s best to face your
feelings head-on and work to understand how you feel and why. Dr. Diane Lewis-that's her name-says that being patient with
is a major part of the process. That's the advice she would have given had you sought her help from the start of all of this. I really
wish that you had done that too. And now we're here," Trey concludes for the moment.
"I've been beating myself up if because of how I reacted when he first stepped out of that car...it had been twelve, fifteen years since
I last saw him, and I...I admit that some of those old feelings came flooding back. I could lie and try to spare your feelings about that
I-"
"Why start now-sparing my feelings?!", Trey interrupts loudly, and not in a friendly or understanding way. "You weren't worried about
my feelings in that bar in Del Rio; or when your special 'ex slash actually fiance' came back into your life...or did it start your sudden
and abrupt concern for my feelings re-surface after you returned to Austin and continued to ghost me? Am I still 'cold', or was it when
you hung a picture of the church you were to be married in...in my-MY MOTHER-FUCKING HOUSE, MICK??!"
"OK...I deserve that. I deserve every bit of your scorn and your feelings of betrayal. But aren't I human, Amor? Aren't I allowed the same
failings and flaws as others? I opened my heart to this man and he hurt me-he let me down-even in the end, he was still working for
Serrano. AND I FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE I COULDN'T SAVE HIM! That I miss him wish that I could have saved him when we were eighteen.
The bottom line is I left him then because he's always been an outlaw and he would have dragged me into North Side Nation right along
with him. I did the right thing-I KNOW THAT: but I'm consumed with guilt. I can't get over it. I'm trying, I swear that I am."
"It's why I haven't left," Trey says. "I know that you're struggling, even spiraling. I apologize for yelling. You can imagine the places my
mind went to with no answers-not knowing why I couldn't share that burden with you. Can you tell me why?"
"I can't even explain to myself the whys of all of my actions, except that I'm deeply, sincerely sorry for freezing you out. I'll never be abale
to fully and completely explain to either of our satisfaction...except "Esto es lo que YO SE-DE ESTO ESTOY CIEN PORCIENTO SEGURA :
I feel so strongly that our story can be the same as your PARENT'S: that we'll eventually live and love so long-SO DEEPLY-that by the end it'll
be as if we're living the SAME LIFE, the two of us. I believe that I trust in that. I hold onto that; I trust it...I know that you probably can't see
it now, and I get that (This is what I know-of this I'm one hundred percent certain).
Trey says gently "Take some time. Sort your emotions. That had to be a heavy blow. When my Dad passed, and me still...over there..."
"I didn't think I'd get you back." She leans over and kisses the side of his mouth. "I've never been so scared and I'm feeling that NOW,
all over again. I'm pushing you away, and even while I'm doing it I can't stop myself. I realize that a lesser man would have left long ago-
I know that. I love you more than my own life, Treycito; we've saved each other at last three times each...we stood in the fire and that
bonded us-AN UNBREAKABLE BOND."
"You haven't called me that in a while," Trey grins. "Hearing it again I didn't realize how much I missed hearing it."
"Do you trust and believe that I love you and no one else?" she asks.
"Yes."
"You said before that you refuse to even try to compete with a corpse, and you AREN'T. I would never ask or expect you to. Whatever
I felt for Garrison is long gone. I checked out for awhile-lost myself in the case, in being the first WOC in the Rangers. Walker warned
me that undercover can change you, and IT DID: I became Yvette. I'm becoming Micki again, though, bit by bit-day by day. What would
think if I went to Seattle for a few months-to consult Dr. Lewis? Mom Adriana says she's brilliant, and I...and if I don't see someone I don't
know if I can make it back to you."
"You want me to wait for you."
"Please do. YES, because I want nothing more than to put this whole mess in my rearview and start our new chapter. I've disappointed
you so terribly yet you're here, supporting me. I need you here, Trey. Please say that you will be here when I'm finished in Seattle."
"Of course. We've come too far. OF COURSE, yeah... but we both need some rack time, Babe. Let's go to bed, call Dr. Lewis in the morning?"
" 'Bed' or Beeddd ' she smirks suggestively.
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"Di, I can never re-pay this favor, and even if you say that we're even we both know that we're not. My daughter is at serious, serious risk
and I wouldn't trust anyone else with her. You're the best, Diane and I love you dearly for this and...for Raymundo. I would have died if not
for you. We both know that."
"I'm honoured that you entrust me with the one most precious to you, Amiga. I can bring her back-she couldn't have a better support system
and TREY? My brief talk with him told me all that I need to know about how well she'll be supported. You'll get your Micki back--I promise."