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Ever since she was a little girl, the new year party at Winterfell has been Arya's favorite celebration. Her birthday is fine, sure, and the solstices are great fun, too. Anytime her entire family gets together was one to treasure -- a sentiment they all share even more strongly since the events of the last few years. As a family that flirts with tragedy far more often than is ideal, they sure know how to party.
To be honest, it's a huge fucking deal. Anyone who is anyone is invited to the party and everyone dresses up and gets absolutely sloshed and then Theon and Robb set off a fortune's worth of fireworks on the grounds at midnight. Sure, this year Bran will be in his extremely high-tech wheelchair and her mother will be sporting an ugly scar on her neck and her father will be limping, but they'll all be there and that is what matters. They've almost lost so much, but they've made it.
This is why this year's party is going to be one to remember. And Arya is determined to make it so by asking Gendry to be her date. He's been coming for ages, ever since he and her brother Jon had met at university years ago, but she wants to make her intentions clear. They've been living together for over a year, ever since she returned from her adventures in Braavos and needed a place to stay to start her studies at King's Landing University. Being 24 in a room full of 18-year-olds is a trying experience but she is making it work.
Point is: it has been a great decision to come back to Westeros -- she's seen more of her family, found her passion for history and culture in the classroom, and she and Gendry have become best friends. She's also fallen in love with him. It's a bit inconvenient, sure, but Arya is not one to back down from what she wants. And asking him to the biggest party of the year as her date is a surefire way to let him know that he is what she wants.
She's had all of the solstice to think about this. As usual, she came home to Winterfell -- Gendry had to work, so he'll be coming up for the party this week -- and she hadn't been able to go back between the holidays because the snow had set in early this year. So she's been trapped with her entire family (not that she minds) and is no closer to an answer on how to ask him about it. There is one person who she can stand asking for advice in a situation like this.
ARYA: sans i need help
SANSA: you know im downstairs right you dont need to text me
SANSA: are you dying
SANSA: did you cut your own bangs again
SANSA: has nymeria eaten your party dress
ARYA: she is far too well trained for that
ARYA: i want to ask gendry to the party
SANSA: as a date??????
ARYA: yes
SANSA: im coming up
Nymeria sits up from her place on the floor of Arya's bedroom as Sansa runs up the stairs. She slides in and shuts the door.
"So you've realized you're in love with him, then?" Sansa says, plopping into Arya's armchair and crossing her legs primly.
Arya groans but doesn't argue. Has she always been this transparent, or is Sansa just that good? "I feel so silly making a big deal out of this."
"Who cares! It is a big deal! And you can be as silly as you like. Gods know I was a mess about Theon."
"You've never been a mess in your life, Sansa."
Her sister quirks a brow. "You and I both know that is far from true." They don't talk about it much, but a few bad boyfriends in a row had almost ruined Sansa's life. Arya looks at her sister for a moment, thankful that her eyes are full of light again. "But we are not talking about me. We are talking about you and Gendry."
Arya flops down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her arm hangs off the edge and she feels Nymeria's wet nose on her fingers.
"Do I just text him and ask him?"
"Considering you've been on the phone with him at least every other day I don't see why you can't just call him." Sansa tilts her head to the side, studying her sister. "Are you frightened, Arya?" she asks softly.
"Fuck's sake," Arya mutters. "Course I am. He's my best friend. We live together. I don't want to muck it up."
"Well," Sansa begins. "I did the same thing as you did."
"With Theon?"
"Deciding to tell my best friend I was in love with him. It wasn't something I did lightly, since I have a lot of baggage." Arya snorts. All of the Starks are pretty fucked up, she thinks. "But I did it and it was worth it, even if he didn't feel the same way. Because I knew that if he didn't, at least I would be able to move on instead of keeping it all in. If I hadn't, then I might have gotten bitter."
"You, bitter? No way," Arya teases, and Sansa's smile is razor-sharp.
"My point is, Arya, that you should just ask him to be your date. He's thick, but not thick enough to miss what that would mean."
Arya throws a pillow at her. "I'm the only one allowed to make fun of him," she grumbles. Sansa laughs at her.
Before she can tease her further, Arya's phone rings, and a picture of her and Gendry takes over the screen.
"Is that him?" Sansa whispers. She tosses the pillow back to Arya and stands. "Ask him!"
"Bye, Sans," Arya says. Sansa winks at her and leaves, closing the door behind her. Arya takes a deep breath -- she can't believe she's so worked up about this -- and answers.
"Stark residence," she says.
"Hello, you." Gendry's voice is warm as always, and she misses him.
"How's the South?" She hopes he hasn't been working too much.
"Warm. Boring. Someone has left dirty dishes all over the apartment and I don't know who."
"Can't imagine."
"Has it stopped snowing yet?" His voice gets soft for a second like he's moving the phone to his other ear. "I wish you had been able to come back after the solstice. Then we could have gotten those sandwiches you love from the cafe car on the train up this week."
"You just like to do that so you can steal my pickle." She sighs. "It should hold off till the weekend. I think the trains will come through alright. Are you ready to freeze your bits off?"
He laughs and Arya finds herself smiling. "Jon already told me we're doing a polar plunge this year. So, I guess so." There's a pause, and Arya decides to forge ahead.
"I need to ask you something," they both say at once.
"Uh," says Arya.
"You first."
"No, no, go ahead." Gendry clears his throat and Arya finds that her heart is in hers.
"Well, look. You can totally say no and I won't be offended at all." Arya isn't sure she's hearing him right. "But something wild happened right after you left and I needed a bit to sort it out so I haven't mentioned it till now and --- well. I want to tell you about it in person." Arya takes a deep breath, sure she knows what is coming next.
"So, can I bring someone with me? To the party?" The air rushes out of her like it used to when she'd get punched in Braavos. But somehow this hurts more.
"Oh," Arya says.
"Look, I really don't have to," Gendry continues. "She won't mind --" He's saying something, she knows, but she can't hear him because her heartbeat is too loud in her ears. Get it together, she thinks. And so she does. She takes all of it, everything she's feeling, and puts it in a box.
"That's great," she interrupts him. "You totally can. We've plenty of rooms."
"Are you sure--"
"Gendry," she says, voice firm. "Bring her." There's a silence, something they rarely have to contend with on their calls.
"What did you want to ask me?" he says, sounding unsure.
"Don't remember," Arya answers. "I think my mum is calling me. I'll talk to you later?"
"Arya--" She hangs up on him.
"Fuck," she whispers and puts her face in her hands, allowing herself a few moments of disappointment. Then Nymeria licks her arm and Arya stands, shoves the box of emotion away even deeper. "Nothing to be done about it now," she says. "Time to think about something else." Gods help her.
____
STARKS ONLY (AND THEON)
ROBB: theon and i have a sack of fireworks that weigh more than arya
THEON: maybe two arya's worth actually
RICKON: can i help this year
SANSA: no
ARYA: no
JON: no
ROBB: yes
BRAN: he's already stolen a few to set off himself
RICKON: how do you know that
RICKON: seriously how i haven't seen you in like two days
SANSA: ridiculousness aside, mum has told me i can give you all jobs for the party
JON: great
SANSA: robb, you're meant to keep aunt lysa away from the wine because she likes you best
ROBB: but we all know cousin Robin likes you best sans
THEON: he's not coming this year
THEON: he begged not to come. said he had something else to do and under no circumstances could he see sansa this year
ARYA: how do you know that
THEON: no reason
SANSA: ANYWAY
SANSA: theon and I will take coats at the door and greet people for the first hour or so
ARYA: before you make out in the coatroom you mean
ROBB: ew
SANSA: jon, you and ygritte are going to see that the kitchen keeps the food coming
RICKON: before they make out in the pantry
JON: yeah and
SANSA: rickon, you and ayra are meant to mind the other difficult guests
ARYA: who is it this year
ROBB: wait i'm the charming one everyone says so
SANSA: olenna tyrell, jaime lannister, and sandor clegane
ARYA: dibs on clegane
RICKON: isnt brienne coming she can mind jaime lol
JON: thanks for that image
ROBB: wait does that mean margaery is gonna be there
SANSA: and bran you get to
BRAN: sit with dad no one talks to him because they're afraid of me
SANSA: exactly. party is in two days people. do not disappoint me.
THEON: anything u say sansa
ROBB: no romance in the groupchat
ROBB: no seriously is she gonna be there sansa i need to know
ROBB: i need to prepare
____
Arya hasn't opened Gendry's texts since he called her. That was four days ago. He's sent her plenty -- she's turned off the notifications so she wouldn't see them after the tenth one in a row, and she's really meant to go through them. She has, honestly. But she can't bring herself to open them and every time she thinks about it her mum or Sansa or anyone else in her family needs her help with something or she's got to run an errand or she can't find her phone. So she doesn't look at them.
The day of the party rolls around and she's on a long walk with the dogs in the woods to tire them out when a phone call from Jon surprises her. Jon is, of course, her favorite brother, and she's seen plenty of him while she's been home -- though less since Ygritte got in yesterday. But why is he calling her? They ate breakfast together not an hour ago.
"Hello?" Arya answers, a little out of breath from trudging up a hill.
"Now, I'm not one to judge, but why am I at the station waiting for Gendry instead of you?" She can hear people shouting in the background and the tell-tale sounds of holiday travelers.
"What?" She says. "Oh, fuck." He probably gave up on her to pick him up since she's not been talking to him and asked Jon instead.
"Thought so," says Jon. "Do you want to tell me what's happened between you two?"
"Ugh," she groans. "Not really, no."
"Are you going to ignore him all weekend, then?"
"It's complicated," she says, before whistling to the dogs and starting back towards the house. If she goes quickly she'll be back before Jon and not have to talk to Gendry until tonight.
"Always is. Well, I'll just tell him you lost your pho-- Hold on," Jon says. "Oh, shit. The train just got here and he's got a girl with him. But they -- wait a second. Arya, is that what this is ab--"
"Got to go Jon, see you later," she shouts down the line and hangs up. "Fuck's sake," she screams at the sky. Nymeria and Sansa's dog, Lady, look at her as if to tell her to get it together. She scowls at them and starts a brisk pace back to the house.
She all but runs there, letting the dogs go ahead of her, and she thinks she's in the clear when she doesn't see anyone out front until she hears her name.
"Arya?" She turns and there's Gendry, carrying two suitcases and looking like everything she's ever wanted.
"Hey," she breathes out. It's an effort not to run to him. "Glad you made it --"
"I missed you." He says it without hesitation, like he's relieved to see her in one piece. "Shame about your phone."
"What?" she says, stupidly.
"Jon said it's busted?" He furrows his brows and she knows he doesn't buy it but knows something is up and doesn't want to push her. He always knows what to do, with her. Her heart feels like a stone in her chest.
"Oh. Yeah." She runs her hand through her hair and realizes she probably looks a wreck, but throws on a smile. She can do this. She can be happy for him. "Where's your date?" she asks. "I can't wait to meet her."
Gendry looks confused for a second -- a look she knows well and absolutely adores -- before his mouth forms an o shape and his eyes widen.
"My...date?" he says, then takes a step towards her. "Arya, wait a second, did you really not see any of my texts because--"
"Arya!" Catelyn Stark marches out the front door and Arya knows she's already in party management mode. "You need to go get ready. Overnights are already arriving, as you can see." She smiles at Gendry. "Lovely to see you, Gendry."
"Thanks for having us, Mrs. Stark," he says without looking away from Arya.
"I've shown Mya upstairs and Jon will direct you to your room once you're inside. You two can chat later." She glares at Arya, who is trying her hardest to figure out why Gendry is looking at her like she's got two heads. "Go. Now."
"See you," she mutters and turns to go inside.
"Please read my texts!" Gendry calls after her. "And find me when you do!"
"What the fuck does that mean," she mutters to herself. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." She ignores everyone she passes on the way to her room, closing her door when she gets there. She throws her phone on her bed and can't bring herself to look yet so she showers and worries and curses the gods and shaves her legs and does everything she can think of before she's on her bed in her towel just staring at it in her hands.
"Buck the fuck up," she says to herself before she clicks on his name and starts reading.
GENDRY: hey, sorry the call ended abruptly. thanks for letting me bring someone! she's really excited to meet you
GENDRY: it's absolutely wild how she found me i can't wait to tell you about it
GENDRY: actually i don't think i can wait im calling you again
GENDRY: ok you must be busy, no worries im sure there's a ton to do before the party so here's the story, call me when you read it
GENDRY: so i was just at work minding my business in the garage and mott was like there's someone here to see you and this woman walks in
GENDRY: and she's a bit older than me but it's like looking in a mirror i mean she looks so much like me just like, prettier obviously
GENDRY: and she's like hi i'm mya i think i'm your sister and i'm like sorry what the fuck
GENDRY: so we get dinner and she tells me she's been looking into robert's kids and trying to find everyone and she came here to find me
GENDRY: so we did solstice together and have been catching up and she lives in the eerie but i obviously invited her for your party so she can meet you
GENDRY: arya? are you ok
GENDRY: hey so you haven't called so i'm a bit worried i'm going to text jon
GENDRY: he says you're fine and i'm feeling a bit like i'm annoying you but can you tell me what's wrong so i can fix it please
GENDRY: are you getting these messages?
GENDRY: i'm asking jon to tell your mum to have two rooms for us and to come get us from the train since i don't think you're seeing these
GENDRY: arya please talk to me
GENDRY: i miss you
GENDRY: i think we need to talk when i get to winterfell
Arya drops her phone and pushes her fists into her eye sockets.
"Fuck," she whispers. "His fucking sister." She could have avoided all of this if she had just read his messages, if she had just handled herself better. But she didn't want to confront how badly it hurt to imagine Gendry happy with someone who wasn't her. It's made her feel ugly and cruel. How can love be so painful?
ARYA: sansa i know ur busy but can you please come to my room
SANSA: you never say please
SANSA: omw
"What's up?" she says when she slides into Arya's room, not at all phased to see her in her towel on the bed looking dejected. "I've not gotten ready yet, obviously, but things are going to be exciting tonight. Tyrion just texted me to say that Jaime is coming with Brienne, finally! And Bran is apparently bringing Meera Reed which I only got out of him by telling him Olenna's real age in exchange, not sure why he wanted to know that. Jon and Ygritte are nowhere to be found but he better turn up or I'll cut off his man-bun. And Margaery came early to help me set up and she's already been flirting with Robb and he still has no idea what to do about it and Rickon already spilled on his jumper and I just met Gendry's sister and she's so lovely --"
Arya hiccups and it sounds dangerously close to a sob.
"Arya?" Sansa sits on the bed next to her. "What's wrong?"
Arya just hands Sansa her phone and and Sansa reads.
"Oh," she says. "Hm. Okay. I see." Arya opens her mouth but her eyes start to water so she closes it again and puts her face back in her hands.
"Don't talk. I think I got it," says Sansa. "You thought he was bringing a date and so you ignored him because you were going to ask him and you're actually much more in love with him than you thought and now you're embarrassed that you reacted this way and scared that you've ruined everything. Is that right?"
Arya takes a deep breath. "You're good at this." Sansa just smiles.
"It's alright to feel all of those things. You can be the strong, slightly frightening, and capable person you are and also be emotional." Sansa stands and starts to rummage through Arya's vanity. "Come sit. I'll do your face while we talk."
"What if I have mucked it up?" asks Arya, closing her eyes as Sansa works.
"You could not get that man to give up on you even if you tried," says Sansa. "And we both know you tried plenty when you came back from Braavos."
"I tried to get everyone to give up on me," Arya mumbles. "But how do I know he's not just going to think I'm some silly girl like I was when he met me?"
"First of all," Sansa says firmly, rubbing something on Arya's eyelids. "That was almost a decade ago. And you were half in love with him then, too. But now you've been best friends and lived together for over a year. He knows you as you are, and has been there for all of the insane bullshit in the last few years."
"He's a good man," Arya whispers. "Doesn't mean he wouldn't do the same for anyone else."
"No, you're right." Sansa's brushes fly over Arya's cheekbones. "He is a good man. He sat with you in the hospital waiting room for two days, then brought you clothes once mum and dad and Bran woke up. He saves all of his spare change for your bizarre collection and sends birthday cards to the whole family. He makes you laugh more than any of us can and he was there for Jon at university when things were brutal." Arya opens her eyes and Sansa is looking directly at her. "He is a good man. And he loves you. Even if he's not in love with you, he loves you enough to stick around and figure things out."
Arya sighs. "I'm pretty sure he's in love with me." She thinks of the times Sansa mentioned, how she's always felt safe when Gendry was around. She thinks of the late nights he's spent with her helping her revise. Of the way they take care of each other when they're ill, how they can have an entire conversation without actually talking. She thinks about the way he looks at her over the dinner she's almost burned in their shitty apartment, the way he looks at her when she's just woken up and wandered into the kitchen for coffee in his shirt, the way he looks at her when he comes home from work. Like she's the first thing he wants to see. Like she's the only thing he wants to see. "So why am I still so scared?"
Sansa pulls out a tube of red lipstick and coats Arya's lips with it. "Because when you've dealt with the shit that we have it can be hard to accept the things you deserve because you're worried you'll ruin them. Trust me. I know." She smiles softly at Arya. "Just talk to him tonight and we will deal with what comes after. Okay?"
Arya surges forward and throws her arms around Sansa. The years of being at each other's throats are behind them and sometimes Arya is overwhelmed with gratitude for her sister.
"I love you," she whispers.
"I love you, too," says Sansa, before she pulls back. "I think your makeup is done, so finish your hair and get dressed. I know you can literally knock people out but you're going to be a knockout tonight. And try to have some fun." She stands and looks at her watch. "I need to get ready. We've got about an hour before people actually start arriving."
___
STARKS ONLY (AND THEON)
ROBB: guys i've lost of aunt lysa already
SANSA: fucks sake robb
RICKON: i saw her by the canapés
JON: she came into the kitchen and sniffed everything before ygritte scared her out
THEON: i can tell you she's not in the coat closet : )
ROBB: disgusting
RICKON: mum says sandor and tyrion lannister drank all the red wine
SANSA: maybe thats for the best
ROBB: fucking hell
ROBB: no one go in the powder room
ROBB: i just saw jaime lannister's bare ass
JON: well, it is a bathroom
ROBB: tell him and brienne that
BRAN: robb margaery is looking for you
ROBB: do NOT TELL HER WHERE I AM i need to fix my hair first
THEON: no fixing that mate
BRAN: too late
JON: has anyone seen arya
JON: gendry is asking
___
Arya isn't hiding, exactly, but if there aren't many people in this corner of the house, that's not her problem. The main floor is packed with people having a great time, and she's telling herself that when she sees Gendry she'll pull him. But she's been standing here in her beautiful velvet dress and her perfect makeup and her maybe-a-bit-too-tall heels drinking her champagne for 15 minutes and can't seem to move.
"Arya?" Gods, why are people always wanting to talk to her? She turns towards the voice with a forced smile and is surprised.
"Oh, good, I thought it was you," says the woman. She looks to be Robb's age and is about as tall as Arya is, though she's not wearing heels, and her black hair tumbles down her shoulders in beautiful curls. She's wearing maroon pleated trousers and a sheer black blouse and all Arya can think is that she's got Gendry's eyes.
"I'm --"
"Mya," Arya says. "Gendry's sister." Mya smiles at her.
"Exactly. You look beautiful," she says.
"So do you," Arya replies, and she means it. She feels a bit out of her depth.
"I wanted to thank you for letting me come and to say that I've heard a great deal about you and think we'd be fabulous friends if you ever get tired of my brother." Her eyes sparkle. "Though I'm not counting on that."
Arya sputters. "Um --"
"Anyway, I don't know if he's told you, but I ambushed him because I'm in the process of locating all of our father's children now that he's dead. See if any of them need help, that sort of thing. I was pleased to find that Gendry is nicely situated."
"He works hard," Arya says, finding her voice. "He's been through a lot."
"I don't doubt it." Mya surveys the room. "He wanted to bring me here to meet the family he's found. And it pleases me to no end to see what lovely people he's fallen in step with. Your family is a delight."
"I know."
Mya turns back to Arya. "Gendry is in love with you, I hope you don't mind me saying." Arya's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. She likes this woman.
"Not a surprise, I take it," Mya muses. "I would be shocked if you didn't know, actually. He's so bloody obvious."
Arya snorts. "Yeah," she says. "Yeah, he is."
"No, really, he talked about you the entire train ride up here. The train is four hours." Arya can't help it -- she laughs. She throws her head back and laughs, because Mya is telling her exactly what she needs to hear and her anxiety is melting away.
"I need to talk to him," she says once she's calmed down.
"Uh, hi," says Gendry, and Arya whirls around. "Are you talking about me, by chance?" He looks so lovely she feels herself blush. His suit is well cut, and he's wearing the bull cufflinks she got him for his birthday last year. He looks nervous.
"Yes," she says with conviction she isn't sure she feels. "Come with me." Mya takes her champagne flute winks at her and Arya heads towards the garden door, hoping Gendry is following her.
The cold hits as soon as she's outside but she keeps going, keeping to the stone path in her heels but heading for the only place she can think of that'll be totally deserted.
"Arya!" Gendry calls behind her. "Arya, slow down, you'll fall over."
"No, I won't," she yells over her shoulder. She hears him chuckle as she rounds the hedge and the Winterfell godswood appears before her. Her favorite place on the grounds. There's snow in the branches but the bench beneath it is clear -- her father's doing, as he comes here every morning -- so she sits. Gendry settles next to her, but not before he wraps her in his suit jacket.
"It's freezing out here," he says. "You couldn't have stopped to grab a coat first?" His blue eyes rake over her face like he's starved for it.
"The pool keeps it a bit warmer here," she says. The water at the base of the godswood is steaming, sure, but she tugs his jacket tighter around herself and doesn't hide when she inhales deeply. He's put on cologne for the party, but it smells like him just fine.
"Arya," Gendry starts.
"No," she says. "Me first. I'm sorry for ignoring you. That was childish and unfair of me." The sounds of the party are contained to the house, and all she can hear are her and Gendry's breaths. "And now that I've met Mya, I feel even sillier." She looks at him for the next part, steeling herself. "I was going to ask you to this party as my date that day on the phone because I've been in love with you for ages now." Gendry's eyes go soft so she plows on. "Before that, I thought I was going to be able to just have you as an option forever so I could go on living with you and being your best friend and not doing anything about it but then I thought you were bringing someone and I realized that I couldn't just expect you to stick around if I didn't say anything and I didn't know how to deal with it so I shut you out."
"Okay," Gendry says. "Okay." He reaches forward slowly, giving her time to back away, before grabbing one of her hands from where it's clutching his coat. He holds it in both of his as he scoots closer to her and takes a breath.
"I am noting that you've just told me that you're in love with me and we are going to return to that, believe me, but first I want to say a few things." His thumbs move slowly across the back of her hand as he continues. "I accept your apology. I know you, Arya, and I know you don't like asking for help or looking weak or being embarrassed, but I want to remind you that you are my best friend and I want to be there for you, even when I am the problem. So please don't shut me out when you are feeling things, you understand?"
"Yes," Arya says softly. "I understand." His hands are so warm and she knows, has known this whole time really, that this is going to be alright.
"So," Gendry says. "Going back to that thing you said. What was it again?" He's grinning. Arya rolls her eyes.
"Before I say this next bit, I want to just confirm that I heard you right." He runs one hand up her arm slowly, leaving gooseflesh in his wake that has nothing to do with the cold.
"Are you going to make me say it?" whispers Arya. Why is she whispering?
"Can you blame me?" Gendry whispers back. His hand is resting on her neck now, cupping her jaw.
"I'm in love with you," Arya says. "Gendry, I'm in love with you."
He leans in and presses his forehead to hers and all she can see are the blue eyes she knows so well.
"Arya," he breathes. "I am so in love with you."
"Thank fuck," she mutters. Gendry laughs and she swallows the sound as she kisses him under the godswood.
___
STARKS ONLY (AND THEON)
BRAN: arya and gendry are making out under the godswood
SANSA: finally
ROBB: bran how do you know that i am looking right at you and you are next to dad
ROBB: wait what the fuck did you just say
ROBB: ITS NOT EVEN MIDNIGHT YET