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Jungkook’s hiding something. It isn’t necessarily that he wants to hide it, but there’s ‘something’ in his mind telling him to never tell anyone. That ‘something’ practically yells at him whenever he feels that way, tells him it’s wrong, that no one wants to know and they’ll be disgusted with him; that feeling he gets, where he just feels so much happier, gets to forget about life, but then the ‘something’ comes back and tells him to snap out of it, that just because his Jimin and Yoongi Hyung do it doesn’t mean anyone wants him to do it, too. It tells him that the other two are cute when they do it, and he’s not, because when he does it, he’s different . He doesn’t want to play with toys constantly, or play games; he wants to just lay there with a stuffie, or wrapped in somebody’s arms. And he would do all those things, sometimes, if he wanted to at that moment, but for the most part he just wants to curl up with a cartoon playing, and maybe nap, too.
So he’s kept it hidden. He’s a good caregiver for the other two, which is something he’s quite proud of being able to do without slipping, even if when he’s finally in his own room he’ll start crying about not having someone to take care of him in that same way. More often than not, he’ll have an anxiety attack, all because he wants to go tell the others so badly, knows deep down they’d accept him just like they had with the other two, but the voice is back to yell at him again. And that voice, he doesn’t know who’s it is; it’s like his own voice, but scarier, angrier, and it makes him cry harder when it comes back, and he’s dissolved to only tears and gasping breaths, trying to remember how to stop the panic attack. And this always snaps him out of it, just like the voice forces him to, because feeling like he can’t breathe, like he’s going to die, always makes him stay big - stay as an adult, because, according to the voice, that’s all he is - he can’t be young again, he can’t be little, he can’t .
It takes a toll on his health. At first, he was fine with it, he was able to deal with it, but recently, he’s lost his appetite, hardly eating anything, and he stays in bed as long as he can, until someone inevitably tells him to get up, not noticing how he’d been crying, how the bags under his eyes are darkening from his lack of sleep - because despite feeling tired constantly, he’s hardly been able to sleep, tossing and turning at night, getting maybe an hour of sleep before someone is waking him up.
And he doesn’t say anything, not wanting to cause any worry. He just goes through the days as if everything is fine, as if helping take care of the littles doesn’t make him upset. He’s good at hiding how he wants to scream at the top of his lungs; not at anyone, no, just to get all of his emotions out, because they’re too much, and the only other time he lets them out is when he’s having a panic attack, and he wants to- no, needs to find a different way to let it out. And sure, he knows that if he could just regress he would feel better, that it’s a good outlet for the stress that’s quickly building, but no matter how hard he tries to just slip, that voice comes back. It always does.
And sometimes… sometimes he hurts himself because of that voice. He’s grown up being told how he should never do that, never take his emotions out on his own body, but the voice is so loud and he can’t stop himself from digging his nails into his legs, or his arms, wherever he can, and hit his head against the wall. And it doesn’t hurt, because he’s numb, even if he’s sobbing like crazy; he can’t feel it until it’s over, then he gets a pounding headache that he has to sneakily grab medicine for and his legs hurt from where he nearly broke through his skin with his nails. And sometimes he will end up causing blood to leak out, just slightly, and he has to put a bandaid over it so it doesn’t rub painfully against his clothes.
He’s leaning against his wall, forcing himself to breathe deeply. He’d been asked to take Jimin to the park, and he could never deny his Hyungs, so he said he would as soon as he got dressed. So here he is, forcing down his tears as he gets ready to leave, gets ready to watch over the person he wants to be just like, little and happy and playful. He wouldn’t say he’s jealous of him and Yoongi, not technically. It’s more like… he supposes it’s more akin to envy. And while those two things are similar, he feels as though jealousy is something evil, something people hold against others as a grudge. But he would never hold a grudge against somebody for being happy. He just wants to have the same thing.
When he’s calmed down, he goes into the living room. Jimin is practically vibrating with excitement as Taehyung helps him put his shoes on. When the little sees Jungkook, he smiles wide. “Kookie! Ready?” he says happily.
“Yep,” Jungkook says just as happily, even if it’s not real. “Tell Tae to hurry up, he’s taking too long.”
“Yeah, takin’ too long!” the little nods in agreement.
“Oh, hush,” Taehyung chuckles. “Have some patience, I’m almost done.” When he finishes tying both shoes, Jimin shoots up to run over to Jungkook.
“Done! Go, go, c’mon, Kookie,” Jimin grabs his hand and drags him to the door. They go outside and begin walking in the direction of the park, which is close enough to the house to walk to. “Gonna go on the slide, then swing, then- Oh! I’ll go on the monkey bars first. What ‘bout you, Kookie?” Jimin rambles excitedly.
“Oh, I think I’ll just watch you,” Jungkook says. The little stops walking, and Jungkook gets pulled back since they’re holding hands. When he looks back, Jimin is pouting at him. “What?”
“Play with me,” Jimin says. “Please? Can play tag. Kookie likes tag?”
“I suppose I can play tag,” Jungkook nods, and the little happily starts walking again. When they get to the park, Jimin immediately runs over to the swings, completely forgetting that he said he wanted to go on the monkey bars first. Jungkook just sits on the bench watching him, until a few minutes later the little is running over to him.
“Tag now?” the little asks. Jungkook nods and stands, and Jimin immediately tags him and runs away.
“Hey!” Jungkook chuckles at the little’s antics before chasing after him. And for a moment, just a moment, he forgets the voice, he forgets all of his anxiety, just happily running with Jimin.
It’s only a few minutes before he feels it. The way he’s struggling to breath, how hot it’s suddenly getting, how his vision is darkening, and suddenly he’s unconscious.
It takes Jimin a second to realize that the other isn’t chasing him anymore, but when he turns and sees the younger lying limp on the ground, his worry is enough to pull him out of little space. “Jungkook?” he hurries over to the younger and shakes his shoulder.
“Kook? Come on, wake up,” his worrying is worse now, and all kinds of assumptions run through his head. Is Jungkook sick? Did he somehow run out of breath from chasing Jimin for too long and pass out? While the older is sure that isn’t the case, he has no idea what else to think. People don’t just randomly pass out, and Jungkook surely hasn’t before, so why so sudden?
After a minute, Jungkook is finally blinking his eyes open with a wince. “Hey, hey, Kook, how’re you feeling?” he asks him.
Jungkook just looks around confusedly for a moment, his eyes unfocused. “What…?”
“You passed out,” the older tells him. “Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”
“No,” Jungkook shakes his head, sitting up slowly with Jimin’s help. The younger’s face morphs into one that seems like sadness. “God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you have to be big again.”
“Hey, no, don’t apologize for passing out,” Jimin puts a hand on his cheek, thumb gently stroking under his eye. “It’s okay, I promise. But, Kook, why’d you pass out? Are you sick?”
“It’s nothing,” Jungkook says as he stands up. “I’m fine, really. Must’ve just gotten too hot.”
“Jungkook,” Jimin starts, “it’s 70 degrees, there’s no way that’s the cause. Talk to me.” And maybe Jimin noticed before how Jungkook had been acting, how he didn’t eat with all of them as often, choosing to eat in his room, and how he sometimes saw Jungkook with puffy eyes, but he always hoped it wasn’t from crying. But now, with Jungkook passing out, his worries are only heightening.
“I just didn’t eat breakfast today,” Jungkook shrugs. “I’ve done it before, I don’t know why it happened this time and not the others.”
“Jungkook,” the older pulls him over to sit on the nearby bench. “I know there’s something going on, and I need you to talk to me. You know I’m always here, right?”
Jungkook is quiet for a moment, and Jimin grabs his chin to make him look towards him; the younger is crying, and Jimin immediately pulls him into a hug, causing the boy to sob loudly. “Sorry, sorry, ‘m sorry, Hyung,” he babbles into his chest. “Didn’t mean to hide it, but he told me to, and I was so scared, please don’t be mad.”
“Shh,” Jimin pets his hair, kissing the top of his head. “Who told you to hide what, Kook?”
“The voice told me to, I don’t know, I can’t say it,” Jungkook shakes his head.
“Okay, just calm down, breathe,” Jimin tells him, guiding his breathing until he’s crying quieter and able to breathe properly. “Better?” Jungkook nods. “Good. Now, I want you to tell me what you’ve been hiding, and I swear I won’t judge or be mad, okay? Can you do that for me?” he asks gently.
Jungkook sniffles before quietly muttering. “I’m a little.” It takes Jimin a second to process it before his mouth drops open.
“Kook,” is all he can manage to say, too shocked. “Baby, can you please look at me?” The younger pulls back and looks at him. The way the boy looks makes Jimin feel so sad; his eyes are red and puffy, there are tears covering his cheeks, and he’s biting his lip. “Hey there,” Jimin smiles sadly. “Baby, you said you’re a little, right?” Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut and nods his head. The voice is yelling at him, telling him he’ll be told to leave, he’ll be yelled at by Jimin and the others. “Okay. That’s okay, baby.”
The younger opens his eyes. “W-what?”
“I said, it’s okay,” Jimin repeats. “I don’t like the fact that you’ve hidden it, but I’m so proud that you were able to tell me. So, so proud.”
Jungkook sniffles as he leans forward again to put his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck to smell his flowery scent. “Hyung, ‘m sorry. I was so scared, and I wanted to tell you guys, but the voice is so loud and mean to me.”
“Shh, I know,” Jimin tells him. He knows how it feels; before he’d told everyone, there was a voice telling him not to, but he pushed it away and did it anyway. But, he knows how Jungkook is. He’s always seeking praise, he wants to be as good as he can be, and being told not to tell them made him listen, because he was too scared to disappoint anyone, even his subconscious. And Jungkook’s bad thoughts had always been worse than anyone else’s, so he could completely understand that the boy really couldn’t help it.
“Why don’t we go home? We can just take a nap?” Jimin asks him. The younger nods, so they stand up together and walk home. “Kook?”
“Hm?” Jungkook hums. They’re walking hand in hand again, Jungkook standing as close to the older as he can without causing them to trip.
“Do you think,” he pauses. “When do you think you’ll be able to tell the others? I won’t rush you or anything, but I think they should know.”
Jungkook is silent for a moment. “Nap first?”
Jimin smiles at that. “Of course, we’ll nap, then I’ll sit with you when you tell them. Sound good?” Jungkook nods, and they walk in silence the rest of the way.
When they get back, everyone is gone, so they just head straight to Jimin’s room - which Jungkook requested since it smelt more like the Omega - and got into the bed to nap. After not being able to sleep for so long, finally getting this off his chest and having Jimin next to him has him instantly falling asleep.
He wakes up to the sound of whispering. He stays in place, pretending to still be asleep. He can’t hear what’s being said, but he doesn’t really care; he’s comfortable and warm, and that’s all that matters.
The person leaves the room, and Jimin is sighing and rolling to more snugly hold Jungkook. He rubs a hand up and down his back before talking. “Baby,” he whispers. “Time to get up. It’s already been almost two hours.”
Jungkook breathes in deeply before sighing happily. He hums in acknowledgment. “Hey sleepy head,” Jimin says. “Come on, now, I know you were sleeping peacefully, but we need to get up now.”
“Who was that?” Jungkook mumbles. “That you were talking to?”
“It was Hoseok Hyung,” Jimin tells him. “I told him to get everyone gathered into the living room so we could all talk. Are you still up to telling them?”
“I think so,” Jungkook replies. “They deserve to know, too.”
“Alright,” Jimin says before sitting up with the younger. “Let’s go, then.” They walk together into the living room, and everyone is already waiting for them. Jimin sits with him on the couch, a comforting arm wrapped around his waist. “Okay, everyone, firstly we need to all agree to listen before talking. And, I already know that you guys won’t, but promise not to be upset.”
Everyone makes noises of agreement, so Jimin turns to the youngest. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
Jungkook looks over at him and nods, receiving an encouraging smile. “Um,” he says quietly before clearing his throat and speaking up a bit. “I’m, um, I’m a little.” No one says anything, just like they agreed - although he knows without looking up from his lap that everyone is shocked - so he continues. “I hid it because I was scared. Not really scared of you guys, but just in general.”
It’s silent for another moment before Jimin speaks up. “Okay. If anyone has anything to say, we’ll take turns talking.”
Namjoon starts. “Well, I’m surprised. But, I’m also glad that you told us.”
Then Seokjin. “I’m glad, too. I could never be upset at you for that.”
Everyone shared their thoughts, and they were all so sweet; he can’t help it when he tears up, sniffling. The tears don’t fall, but everyone sees it, so they gather around and hug him in a big group hug.
For the first few days after he told them, he hadn’t been little. The voice was less loud, and it would be easier to slip, but he’s a bit nervous. He doesn’t know what it’s like to fully let go, to let someone take care of him. And he doesn’t know how they’ll react when they realize he prefers to just have someone hold him rather than play; he’s sure they’ll be fine with it, but he’s still nervous.
When he wakes up, Taehyung is sitting next to him, combing his fingers through his hair. When he realizes Jungkook is awake, he smiles. “Morning, baby.” And that simple word already has him slipping. “Breakfast is ready, and I think Jimin would like a little friend to sit next to. What do you think?”
And it sounds nice. The way Taehyung is playing with his hair only makes him feel smaller, and he’s humming and sitting up. “What’s for breakfast?” His words are only slightly slurred, since he isn’t fully regressed yet.
“Jin Hyung made pancakes, and guess what?” Taehyung smiles. “He made them shaped like hearts just for you.”
Jungkook can’t help but feel happy about that, smiling. “‘Kay,” is all he says, since he can feel himself slipping further and not quite trusting himself to talk yet. He hopes he’ll get over that, though. They walk downstairs together, holding hands. When they get into the dining room, Seokjin is putting pancakes and bacon onto everyone’s plates. Taehyung leads him over to a seat next to Jimin, and Taehyung sits on the other side of him.
Jimin smiles at Jungkook and reaches over to tap his shoulder as if the boy isn’t already looking at him. “Kookie! Hyungie made pancakes for you! See?” He points at Jungkook’s plate where two heart pancakes are already covered in syrup and cut up for him. Jungkook can’t stop himself from smiling happily and looking up at Seokjin, who just looks at him as if he’s everything to him, and that’s all it takes for the boy to fully slip, deciding there’s no one he trusts more than his Hyungs.
Throughout breakfast, Jimin excitedly talks to him, and he responds with about half the energy the other has, but Jimin doesn’t mind, probably barely notices. Taehyung occasionally has to wipe syrup from his face, and even feeds him a few bites of his pancakes.
After breakfast, Jungkook walks into the living room and sits on the couch. He just waits for somebody, not wanting to ask for someone to cuddle with him. And finally Yoongi is walking in; he isn’t little, and Jungkook knows he’s the perfect person to cuddle in the late morning. He reaches both his hands out and waits for Yoongi to understand. It only takes a second before the older is smiling softly and sitting next to him, pulling him close and covering them up with a nearby blanket.
“I’m proud of you, you know that right, bub?” Yoongi asks. “You’ve been so good for us.”
Jungkook smiles from where his face is buried in the older’s neck to smell his subtle peach scent. “Love Hyungie.”
“I love you, too, Koo,” Yoongi whispers before kissing his head/