Archive of Our Own

Leon slumped against the door of his dorm room, with what he could only assume was a tragic look on his face, by his roommate's reaction.

"Dude, I already told ya, no one puts out for Soc or Psych majors," Todd laughed, "let alone the two of them together. They're afraid you're gonna analyse them or you've got some sort of mom complex or some shit."

"That's a stupid excuse," Leon muttered, finally gathering the will to push off the door and collapse face down on his bed.

"It's a scientific fact," Todd said solemnly.

Leon's voice came out muffled against the comforter. It was sort of difficult to breathe; maybe he could just smother to death and put himself out of his misery. "Try it on someone who doesn't study that sort of thing twenty hours a week."

"Plus, you could try dressing differently," Todd said, almost under his breath.

Leon rolled over enough to look down at his clothing in consideration. He couldn't see anything wrong with his outfit. His khakis were neatly pressed, the creases crisp, his white button down shirt was clean, and his blue-grey sweater vest brought out the colour of his eyes. Chita, his only real female friend, had said so when they'd gone shopping together. "What's wrong with the way I dress?" Leon asked, frowning.

"Eh. Forget it. Come on. Let's go out for a drink. I've got this friend, Stacey…" Todd trailed off enticingly.

Leon considered it for just a moment. He'd heard Todd talk about Stacey before, and if he was to be believed, she was pretty adventurous and the no-strings-attached sort. But he had a twelve page essay due for Social Aspects of Deviation in Adolescents, and he wanted to get a head start on his reading for English 350. "Eh. Maybe next time," He said dully, waving a hand in Todd's general direction.

Todd chuckled about something and left Leon in his misery. Leon moved lethargically to his computer desk and stared blankly at the empty Microsoft Works window open in front of him, the blinking cursor mocking. He dragged both hands roughly down his face and tried to focus, but concentration was hard to come by these days. Half-way through a semester, and with only one more to go after before he graduated, Leon should be ecstatic about graduating at 20. But right now all he could think about was the fact that he was 20, and still hadn't got laid.

It wasn't for lack of trying. Since moving onto campus, he dated his fair share of girls, and at first, everything always seemed to go so well. They were all cute and fun, and they all dressed and danced in the most provocative manner. Most of them gave kisses on the first date, and there after they found any and every opportunity to drag Leon back to their dorm rooms and make out for hours on end. But they never let him get any further than maybe taking their shirt off. Leon didn't know how he picked them. Todd and all his friends were always going on about their sexual adventures (Leon had had the misfortune of walking in on a few of them), and he knew Chita was hooking up on the regular. It didn't seem fair.

He was graduating in little under half a year. He vowed to himself he wasn't leaving college a virgin.

-

Leon left college a virgin.

-

The sun was slanting through the high windows, casting orange light over the gymnasium. Leon could guess it was about five o'clock. He sighed heavily, watching the light's progression across the floor rather than paying any attention to the Lieutenant. Someone poked him in the back and he glanced over his shoulder to see Jill grinning at him broadly. He looked around and noticed everyone was getting to their feet.

"Wanna go out for a drink," Jill asked, rolling to her feet.

"Uh, what's going on?" Leon asked, wondering if maybe he should have been paying attention. Jill offered her hand and Leon used it to pull himself up. "What are we doing again?"

"Starks is releasing us early today," Jill informed him, standing at the edge of the blue mat. "But if you want extra practice, I'm more than willing to assist. I can be the suspect," she offered in a low, husky voice, "and you can be the cop. Wanna subdue me?" Leon frowned at her in concern. Jill sighed and put her hands on her hips.

"Look, Jill, I gotta get home and work on that paper for Ethics," Leon protested, slightly concerned by her irregular behaviour. "And you know, maybe you shouldn't be drinking tonight either. You feel alright?"

Jill glared. "You're so clueless!" She growled, and stormed off. Leon stared after her for several long moments, confused more than hurt. He just did not understand women.

Leon always preferred to walk home, rather than drive. He only lived a few blocks away, and besides, he had to be in prime physical condition for the academy. Every bit of exercise helped. He didn't bother changing from his gym clothes, and put his other clothing and books in a gym bag and began to jog home through the park.

It was a nice evening. Late August and it hadn't rained in a while, so the humidity was low. He thought about going to the beach that weekend. There were always tonnes of girls in barely there bikinis, and in theory Leon would enjoy it. But these days it just served as a reminder that Leon was never going to get any. There were always the appreciative looks--working out had paid off, and time spent in the sun left his skin golden. As soon as he opened his mouth, that's when the trouble began. It was like whatever he said--respectful or suggestive, complimentary or flirty--was always the wrong choice.

On the job alone he'd received more than one smile and nod from passing joggers, usually in little more than sports bras and skin-tight shorts, but Leon didn't bother trying to engage. He didn't plan on stopping for the girl seated on the bench as he approached the edge of the park, either. Hot as she was, wearing daisy dukes and a halter top that showed off a great deal of dark brown skin on her stomach and cleavage, red-gold curls that spilled over her shoulders. But as he grew closer, he started to notice other details, like the frown on her face, plump bottom lip caught between her teeth, and the map she kept scrutinising before glancing around herself in confusion. Leon slowed to a brisk walk. It was his duty, as a member of the police academy, and future police officer, to help a citizen in need. And it certainly didn't hurt that said citizen had the longest legs Leon had ever seen.

The girl looked up as Leon approached and smiled in a friendly manner. "Do you live around here?" she asked, folding the map.

"Just over on Sancus," he said, gesturing in that direction. "Can I help you find something?"

"Perfect," she said, and stood. The shorts rode a bit further up her toned thigh. Leon couldn't help but stare. "That's just where I'm heading." Leon tore his eyes away to meet hers, and there was something suggestive about the twist of her smile. "We can walk together."

"Uh..." Leon cursed internally, struggling to come up with something coherent, maybe charming or funny. Instead, all that came out was, "sure."

"I'm Brandy, by the way."

"Leon." So far, so good, but this was usually the point when things went off the rails.

"Oooh," Brandy purred, "I like that. Like a lion. Especially with all that pretty hair of yours."

Leon figured that was a bit forward, but hey, he wasn't complaining. "So, you're not from around here?" Leon asked after a short silence, and realised that was the lamest thing he could have said.

Brandy, however, didn't seem to mind. "Yeah, I just left home. I'm from up north. My dad wanted me to hang around and stick with school, but I really just wanted to come down here and be an actress. Who needs college to act?" She asked, grinning broadly.

"Well, you're certainly pretty enough," Leon said, but the words sounded all stupid coming out. Brandy giggled and batted at his arm. He noticed immediately when she left her hand there, resting against his forearm. Half a block later, when they reached the corner of Sancus, she was still touching him, red-tipped nails gently curved around his bare skin. Leon looked up from that to gauge the surrounding area and vaguely wondered how Brady had got so lost only a couple blocks from her destination.

"This is me," he said, hooking a thumb in the direction of his apartment building. It wasn't much, but it was what he could afford while paying off loans for what scholarships didn't cover.

"Oh," Brandy frowned. Damn, her mouth was something incredible. Plush, bowed lips, teeth sparkling white when she bit down on them, which looked to be a habit of hers, leaving them slick. "Maybe I could I come in for a bit? We could keep talking?" At Leon's hesitation, she added, "I've been wandering around the park all day, and my feet are getting tired." Leon looked down between them at the sandals she wore, strappy things with high, spiky heels.

"My place is a mess," he protested weakly. But really, this chick was hot, and friendly, and the way she kept brushing up against Leon was giving him all sorts of ideas.

"I don't mind," Brady assured him, stepping closer to his side. Leon swallowed hard and led the way inside. The minute his door was shut and locked, Brady was all over him, kissing his neck, wrapping her arms around his neck. Bewildered, and more than a little turned on, Leon bent down to kiss her. Brady giggled and ducked out of his embrace.

"I'm really into the geeky, innocent routine," she said, kicking off her heels and starting to unfasten her shorts, "but I take payment up front." Leon didn't quite understand that, but he followed her, putting his hands on her bare waist and letting them slid around to rest on her back, where her skin was smooth. He leaned in for a kiss again, but Brandy put a hand between their lips. "Up front, Romeo," she repeated, a bit more harshly.

"What?" Leon demanded.

"Fifty-bucks, and I go down. A hundred and you can do whatever you want," Brady clarified.

"Excuse me?" Leon asked, eyes going wide. There was no way…no way that he'd picked up a prostitute. He felt sick to his stomach. "Um…I think you should probably go," he heard himself saying, and some far, distant corner of his mind (the one connected to his dick, no doubt) was screaming in protest.

"Awww…come on, baby. I can tell you're into this," Brandy said, her hands running down Leon's hips and tugging at the elastic band of his gym shorts.

"Yeah, I'm also a police cadet," he told her bluntly. Brandy's eyes widened and she dropped her hands.

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"So, what, you gonna tattle on me to your Lieutenant?" Brandy asked.

Leon frowned at the floor. "No. Just…just, go. Okay. And just don't let me see you again." Brandy sneered at him, grabbed her shoes, and was out the door in a matter of seconds. Leon shut the door behind her and slumped against it in disbelief.

What the hell was the matter with him? Why couldn't he attract a nice, normal girl? He didn't think he was asking for too much. He wasn't looking for a lifetime commitment, he wasn't a dick, he was smart and had a good career ahead of him, and he'd heard often enough that he was nice to look at. So what was it about him that the closest he'd come to losing his virginity at the age of twenty-two was a woman only willing to sleep with him in exchange for money?

-

"…so then she demanded to know why I hadn't called her last night! She hasn't called me once since we met. We've only gone out three times. I don't see why I'm supposed to call her every night, especially when she hasn't even…" Leon trailed off and glared at Jill, as if the whole situation was her fault alone.

"What?" Jill asked, jumping off the corner of Leon's desk. "Look, it isn't my fault you always pick the crazy women. You had your shot with someone who wasn't going to play games, and you totally passed it by."

"Who--What are you talking about?" Leon demanded with a scowl.

Jill sighed. "You really are a moron," she muttered.

Leon considered continuing this line of conversation and try to figure out what he'd done wrong this time, but a glance at his watch told him it was ten til six, and he'd told Susie he'd pick her up at six on the dot. She got all huffy if he was even a half minute late, so he wasn't going to risk it. With a final glare at Jill, and a promise to continue this later, Leon grabbed his jacket and headed out of the building.

It was already getting dark out, but the weather was still pleasant, and in the distance, Leon could make out the bright lights of Chinatown. He thought of maybe just ditching the date and heading down there, but even though she could be weird, Susie was a nice person, and she seemed truly interested in everything Leon had to say. And she was a dancer, with a tiny little body that could twist into just about any position imaginable. Leon could think of at least a hundred different ways to use that to his advantage. For a virgin, he knew an awful lot about how sex worked, and as soon as he got the chance, he was sure he was going to do it right.

Susie lived a few blocks from the station, on the opposite end of Chinatown from D. She was Chinese too, having come over for college and stayed after. Sometimes he found himself comparing her physically to D, which he knew was weird, and he definitely didn't mean to. But it was hard not to, at times, with her dainty waist and the shape of her eyes, and the way shoulder length black hair shone in the light. Her skin wasn't anywhere near as pale as D's, though, which wasn't a surprise how he avoided the sun like it was an allergy, and her accent was different, not as thick. And once or twice he'd been brought up short when she'd turned to face him and he'd been met with brown eyes instead of the expected violet and gold.

Leon pulled into a parking space a few buildings down from where she lived and dashed up her steps, arriving just in time and ringing her bell. After a few minutes, he rang again. "Just a moment!" Susie's voice called over the intercom. Leon frowned and waited a few minutes. And then a few more. After five minutes, he sat down on the top step, and glared at his watch. At ten minutes, Susie clambered down the steps and out the door. She was breathless and Leon stood to greet her, but she hurried past him toward his car.

"How was your day?" Susie asked, when Leon was driving toward the restaurant. Susie was always asking Leon about his day, his family, his past, everything. She never offered any information about herself, and when Leon asked, she was always vague in her replies. It made Leon feel slightly uncomfortable. He didn't like talking about his past to anyone, and he certainly didn't want to discuss his family with a complete stranger. Leon tried to make his day sound as boring as possible, so maybe she'd stop asking.

"Mainly just did paper work for my last case. Answered a few phone calls. It was a slow day."

"Hey, there's this place down near 2nd, why don't we go there?" Susie asked. Leon frowned. He knew where she meant. It was across the street from the pet shop, and D always wanted to eat there.

"I was thinking about the Italian place over on West 8th," Leon said hopefully.

Susie made a face. "I don't like Italian," she said, her nose in the air. Leon sighed and turned the corner, heading toward the pet shop.

The food was delicious, as always, and Mr. Chu noticed Leon and made his way over to the table halfway through the meal. Leon was almost thankful. Making conversation with Susie was like pulling teeth. She was so coy and giggly, and she twisted everything Leon said all around, like she was teasing him, only he wasn't in on the joke.

"Ah, Mister Detective," Chu greeted, bowing. Leon nodded his head. "You have a new friend?" The way he said it suggested that Leon generally had a different friend, and Susie's lips tightened in displeasure.

"Uh, yeah," Leon introduced them, and they spoke a brief moment in Chinese. As always, that made Leon a little uneasy. He hated not knowing what was being said right in front of him. At least Susie seemed mollified.

"How is D?" Chu asked, eyes lightening up at the mere mention of the shop keeper's name, even if he had been the one to say it.

"Same as always," Leon said shortly, glaring. Maybe he wasn't glad for the interruption. He didn't come out on a date to discuss D.

After dinner, the night had fallen completely, and the street was strung with multi-coloured Christmas lights. It was only a couple weeks until the holiday, and the streets were crowded with tourists and shoppers, looking for cheap knockoffs of brand name items. Leon tried to take Susie's hand, but she wouldn't even let him take her arm. He sighed in frustration. She hadn't even let him kiss her yet, and she'd only hugged him once, at the end of their last date. She carried around a little book in her purse and was always sneaking glances at it, and Leon had the growing suspicion that she was looking in it for tips on how to handle him. Maybe he needed the same book on how to handle her, but he hated the idea of anyone having to do any handling. Why couldn't they just talk?

They had started toward his car when Leon heard a familiar voice calling his name. He froze on the spot and turned very slowly. Just down the street, Chris and D had left a shop, hands full of bags. Chris started running toward him, and D followed at a slower pace, a small, secret smile on his lips. The look made Leon want to demand to know what D was thinking.

"Hey kiddo," Leon greeted, bending to meet the hug Chris was giving Leon's legs. D sidled up to Leon's side, setting the bags on the sidewalk. "What are you two up to?" Neither D nor Chris seemed to take notice of Susie, who was staring at the three of them. Leon smiled a little helplessly at her.

We were out getting presents for you, and then I saw this really cool Digimon card game in the window and D got it for me.

"Yes, and it will go in your stocking, as we discussed," D interrupted, smiling pleasantly. Chris frowned, a little petulant, and Leon ruffled his hair.

"You were getting presents for me?" Leon asked, a silly grin splitting his face as he looked from Chris to D.

"Of course," D answered, and sliding his arm through Leon's. His eyes were warm, and Leon found himself staring perhaps a bit longer than he should have.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friends?" Susie asked, her voice carefully even.

"Oh!" Leon jumped, just remembering she was there. "Uh, this is my little brother, Chris, and this is Count D. He owns the pet shop there." Leon gestured across the street to where the entrance to the pet shop loomed dark on the otherwise bright and colourful street. "This is Susie."

D removed his arms from around Leon's to shake hands with Susie. "Ah, Miss Susie. I've heard so much about you. It is a pleasure to finally put a face with a name." He bowed politely and glanced at Leon with an odd expression on his face that made Leon feel, inexplicably, as if he were owned.

"Funny," Susie said, a bit meanly, "he's never mentioned you." The look D gave Susie could be called frosty, at best, and the temperature around them seemed to drop several degrees. Leon shook it off, looking at his brother, but Chris ducked behind D's legs and glared at Susie from behind the shelter of D's body.

"Um…" Leon stared hard at Chris. "He can be a little shy sometimes, I guess," Leon explained. Which wasn't at all true, but he couldn't understand why Chris was behaving like he was.

I don't like her, Chris explained, as if reading his brother's mind. She looks like a snob. D stifled a giggle behind his hand, as if he had any room.

Leon smirked. "Like someone else we know," He said, looking pointedly at D.

"I beg your pardon!" D said stiffly, but there was a trace of humour lingering in his face. Leon sighed and shook his head amiably. "We should leave your brother to his friend," D said, focussing his attention on Chris. "Will we see you this evening?" He asked, as he picked up his bags.

"I'll be by in a while," Leon promised.

"Splendid. Christopher and I are going to be decorating the tree. We'd love to have your help," D's words seemed to mean something else entirely, but Leon couldn't figure out what, and Chris spoke again before Leon had much time to think about it.

Can we have hot cider, like they were giving out at that one store?

"Of course," D agreed. "We'll save you some. Enjoy your evening. It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Susie," D said, bowing to her, and then he led Chris across the street and they disappeared into the pet shop.

Leon turned to look at Susie, stomach plunging at the expression on her face.

"Does your family always leave your brother with strange men in Chinatown?" Susie asked, arching a brow.

"Um, actually, Chris lives with me. And since I work late a lot, D takes care of him when I need his help," Leon explained. He was a little surprised that when they started walking, Susie took his arm.

"You never talk about your family. I didn't even know you had a brother. Why doesn't he live with your parents?" Susie asked, looking up at Leon with wide eyes.

"My mom's dead." Leon cast his memory back, because certainly it had come up at some point, as often as she asked about family. But then again, he liked to keep that sort of thing close to the vest. "You know, I don't want to talk about it," he said shortly.

Susie took her arm back. "But I bet you talk with him about it," she said bitterly.

"What are you talking about?" Leon demanded, confused. D was different. It was alright to talk about those things with him. D knew him.

"Like you don't know," Susie said. She turned away, arms crossed over her chest. Normally Leon might appreciate the way that forced her chest up and out, but right now he was too confused and distracted. "I want to go home."

"Fine," Leon said blankly, staring at her in disbelief. "Alright, let's go." He spun on his heel toward the direction of his car, but Susie remained where she was standing.

"I think I'll walk," Susie called to him, and started down the street. Leon watched as she disappeared into the holiday crowd, his frown bewildered. His feet knew where to carry him, though, out of habit.

Chris and D were kneeling around the Christmas tree, sorting through ornaments, and looked up in surprise when Leon walked into the store. I thought that would take longer, Chris said, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. Me, too," Leon said with a wry smirk. D hid a giggle behind his hand. Leon thought about glaring, but didn't have it in him at this point.

Well, I'm glad, Chris said, looking very pleased with the situation. She had a funny look on her face. I like spending time with D a lot more, and you should too. Leon's eyes widened, but Chris didn't seem to understand what he was saying, and went on separating the ornaments by colour. Leon turned his gaze on D, who was smiling softly.

"I'm glad, too," D said, standing gracefully. He sorta moved like a dancer, too. Maybe he was able to do some of the things Susie was. Leon stopped that line of thought before it had time to further develop. "Are you going to help decorate?" he asked, as he poured a cup of cider for Leon.

"I think I'll just watch," Leon muttered, sitting in his normal spot on the sofa. D still had that damn knowing, secretive smirk on his face, and nodded before rejoining Chris, leaving Leon to his thoughts.

So, he hadn't been dating a whole lot lately. In fact, he'd only had two girlfriends since meeting D, and only a handful of dates, so maybe he'd forgot something, but he was pretty sure he'd been doing alright. He opened doors, he paid for dinners and shows, he drove, he left at the end of the night even when he really wanted to stay. But they always said he was cold and distant. Jill never said that. Chris never said that. D never said that. The women always said he couldn't commit. Well, he'd been taking care of Chris for awhile, and that was a pretty big responsibility that took quite a lot of commitment. They said he couldn't stick with a relationship, but he'd been friends with D for years, and D was infuriating. If he could put up with D breaking the law, and playing demure, and calling Leon pet names, and giggling with his pets, and making all sorts of innuendo, he could put up with anything.

"Detective," D called and it took a moment for Leon to pull himself from his thoughts. D and Chris were looking at him expectantly and Leon shook himself.

"Uh, yeah?"

"The star," D said, holding out the bright glittery golden object. "I'm afraid I'm not quite tall enough."

"Come 'ere." Leon scooped Chris up in his arms and swung him over his shoulders so Chris could reach. Chris giggled and took the star from D, placing it atop the tree with a little bit of a struggle with the branches. He gave a happy little clap at his accomplishment and Leon kept his brother on his shoulders, holding his hands and spinning him around. As they slowed down, he caught a glimpse of D leaning against the wall, watching them with a soft expression, somehow almost a smile and a frown at once.

Hey, can I go wrap Leon's presents so we can put them under the tree? Chris asked once Leon had put him back down on the ground, tugging on D's cheongsam.

"Of course," D nodded, crouching just a little, hands on his thighs, like he always did when addressing Chris, like he was trying to be on the same level. "Why don't you find Tet-chan? He can get the supplies for you and help." Chris ran off with one of the bags from earlier and D called after him, "And no peeking at your own presents! I'll know!"

Leon watched D watching Chris, let his eyes follow the curve of D's throat, and the way his hair covered his face when it was turned away. Leon wondered if D felt cheated, that he bought others presents and didn't get many in return. Leon had bought him a couple things, but he never knew what D would want, anyway. Most times when he got D something other than candy, he never ended up giving it to him. Always ended up thinking it was stupid and D would hate it. In the bottom of his closet, Leon had several gifts from holidays (and sometimes for no special occasion at all) past that D would never see.

"I treasure whatever you give me," D murmured softly, and Leon realised he was staring at D and looked away with a blush. Had he said some of that out loud?

D crossed the room to sit upon his chaise and asked, "How was your date?" He spoke the last word with the slightest hint of distaste.

Leon's lips twisted in annoyance, and he plopped down across from him, slinging his feet up on the coffee table just to piss D off. By his narrowed eyes and pursed lips, Leon guessed his plot had worked. "I think she was just slightly annoyed," Leon said.

"Oh?" D asked, feigning interest and pouring himself a fresh cup of cider.

"I hadn't mentioned I had a brother," Leon muttered into his cup.

"How odd," D commented. "Christopher is such a large part of your life. And Miss Susie seems like such a lovely girl. It only seems natural that the two of them should be aware of one another's personal lives. Especially if you plan to continue a relationship with Miss Susie." Leon made a non-committal sound as he considered the words. "It is very important that a young child in your life bond with the person you plan on spending your life with." Leon bit his lip and looked up at D, but D was looking the other direction, and there wasn't any indication that he intended his words to be taken at anything other than face value.

"I didn't really plan on spending my life with Susie," Leon said, slightly derisive.

"Oh?" D asked again, looking at Leon. "Then I wonder why you would waste your time with her in the first place…"

Heat rose up Leon's chest, the back of his neck. "I don't see what it matters to you what I do with my free time."

D stood from his position and moved around the table to sit beside Leon, and suddenly the couch seemed to shrink. The way D had been moving all evening kept sending chills up Leon's spine. The cheongsam he wore looked thinner than usual despite the weather, made of something silky and almost see-through, so that every motion called Leon's attention to a limb or a hip or to the curve of D's ass. This close, Leon could see the knit of the fabric, and between it, the slightest hint of D's bare skin.

D laid one elbow on the back of the sofa near Leon's head and leaned his cheek in his palm. The motion caused his hair to shift, pushed aside, showing more of his face than usual. It was creamy white in the soft light of the Christmas tree. His lips, the colour of the cranberries strung around the room, moved as he spoke, and Leon watched them but didn't have much concept of what the words meant. "I like it when you spend your free time with me…and Chris." Sometimes, when Leon couldn't sleep at night, he thought about what those lips could do to him, and then when he finally fell asleep, he dreamed about what he could do to D's body.

"We've missed you these past few weeks. Between work and Susie, we've barely seen you." D's voice was deep and soft; there was a rhythm to it that tugged Leon in closer. D's arm unfolded, and his hand brushed over the collar of Leon's shirt. "I find it so lonely here in the pet shop, when Christopher and the pets have gone to sleep," D sighed, and his fingers slowly tiptoed upward, over the skin of Leon's neck and into his hair. His long nails tickled pleasantly, and Leon had had dreams about those, too, and the hands that came with them, and that voice murmuring things that barely made sense right now.

"It's nearly unbearable, lying all alone in my bed, wondering where you are…if you're safe…" The image of D lying in bed was a nice, especially since in Leon's vision, the sheets were silk and D slept in the nude. "Wondering if you're letting her touch you like I want to."

Leon was so hard it hurt and he had to make D stop talking before he…before he…was kissing D before he knew how it had happened, and this hurt too, but in a different, better way. Leon had kissed before, plenty, but it had never felt like this. Like he was aching just for this, just for the lush press of D's mouth to his. Like this wasn't just the preamble, getting in the way of sex. It was something sweeter, more essential--the way D opened his mouth instantly and let Leon devour him, the way D was making little eager, hungry, pained sounds seconds after their mouths met, the way D's fingernails were biting into the back of Leon's neck as he licked inside.

D seemed to be holding himself back from something, twisting back whenever their bodies came close, tugging at Leon's hair whenever D's body twitched as though he was going to move it. D had never held back before, he shouldn't start with something like this, something so important. And if he had held back before…if he'd lied before, Leon wasn't going to let him lie with this. He grabbed at D, palms finding waist and hip bone and closing tight. D melted against him with a moan and tore his mouth away, panting. His breath was damp in the curve of Leon's neck.

"I…I don't…I don't know if I can…" D murmured, words meaningless and disjointed. His voice seemed so sad. He looked up at Leon, his eyes were wide with remorse. Leon kissed him again before D could say anymore. D saying things was seeming only ever lead to trouble.

It was the same as before, but it didn't lose anything for that. Every brush of D's tongue against Leon's lips, the roof of his mouth, twirling around Leon's tongue, sent sparks of electricity through Leon's body. His stomach kept lurching almost sickly, and the pinpricks of heat he often felt when D teased him had flared into a full-body inferno. It was almost too much, so he pulled his mouth away to taste D's neck instead. D arched into the touch with his entire body, so taut he seemed to vibrate under Leon's touch, like he might actually snap. Leon traced a path down D's throat with the tip of his tongue, drew the flesh of D's shoulder between his teeth and bit down softly, earning a hiss.

D moved more quickly than Leon would have thought possible, and the next thing he knew, D was straddling him, gripping both Leon's hands in his own and pressing them back against the top of the sofa. When he kissed Leon again, it was deep and possessive, a sort of dominance that Leon should have baulked at, yet he found himself relenting. D's skirt had risen with the movement, and it bunched up only a few inches below his hips. Leon could feel the fabric rucked up against his lap and his hands struggled against D's grip, itching to touch. D, seeming to regain a bit of his control, quickly released Leon, as if burnt.

The moment his hands were free, Leon lost a little of his bravado. He'd never done this, and this was D. D who was perfect and teasing and knowing and gorgeous, and there was no doubt that D had done this, and he'd know that despite Leon's previous claims, he hadn't. He felt clumsy as his fingers reached out hesitantly, brushing against the silk of D's inner thigh. D sighed and arched his back again, and Leon figured he must have done something right. He let his fingers glide higher, leaving little goosebumps in their wake, til they were sliding beneath the hem of the dress, pushing it up further. His other hand came to rest on D's hip, palm fitting like it belonged there, and that was all the encouragement D needed. He eased his hips down, seating himself in Leon's lap.

D was wearing silky underwear, and Leon jolted when he felt hardness similar to his own pressed against his knuckles, jerking his hand back. It was electric, the way his own arousal surged at the sensation, something he never could have guessed. Their mouths parted, both gasping for breath, and D's eyes opened just enough to look back at him. Leon almost couldn't stand the sight, dick throbbing painfully. D's lips, usually perfectly painted and smirking in amusement, were swollen and spit-slick, purple lipstick smudged over his cheek and chin, his hair was hopelessly mussed, eyes nearly hidden by thick lashes, but everything in his expression told Leon that he was wanted desperately.

"Jesus Christ," Leon muttered, unconsciously pulling at the hips in his hands and D rolled his body forward gracefully, bringing their bodies together, until he could feel D's cock pressed right up against his own. He could not believe this was finally happening, with D.

"Oh! I don't think--" D murmured and rolled his hips again, making them both moan. "Perhaps this is not a good idea…"

It took Leon a moment to realise the pathetic whining sound was coming from his own throat. "D," he said, desperate, mouthing little kisses to the underside of D's chin.

"We…we should not," D said, a bit more firmly, though he made no move to stop Leon, or the gentle rocking of his own hips.

"Don't do this to me," Leon whispered, tightening his grip on D's hips. D looked down at Leon again, and before he had time to protest further, Leon stood up. D squeaked, ankles locking automatically behind Leon's back and clung to him, a little wide-eyed.

"Det…detec…Leon," D managed breathlessly. "Le--" he moaned when the next step dragged his cock over Leon's belly. "Let me down." Leon paused, leaning D against the wall, and kissed him until he could feel D's toes curling, could hear the sharp screech of D's nails scramble against the wall.

Slowly, Leon eased his grip on D, hands shifting from under his ass down the backs of his thighs, and D let his legs slide from around Leon's waist. When D was on his feet again, Leon was sure he would push away from the kiss, but D merely made up for the change in height by tilting his head back and standing on his toes, arms lacing around him. D cooed into the kiss, hands never still, always drawing over Leon's shoulders, up the back of Leon's neck, through Leon's hair.

At last, he broke the kiss, looking as dazed as Leon felt, and laced their fingers together. "We cannot do this here," he murmured, and tugged on Leon's hand, leading him into the back hall of the shop.

D's bedroom was something like how Leon had imagined it late at night, when he thought about D just like this. It was all dark shadows and glowing candles, gilded surfaces, curtains for windows that couldn't possibly boarder an exterior wall, and a sprawling bed dressed in silk of various shades of purple and red. The smell of incense wasn't as strong here as in the rest of the shop, Leon noted with relief, but the room smelled like D; a clean, slightly floral scent.

Now that he was here, Leon didn't really know how to behave. It wasn't just that he'd never done this before, it was that it was D. He certainly knew a lot about how he was supposed to have sex with a woman, but all his fantasies about D had been based on mere speculation. Of course he knew gay guys had sex, and basically understood what it entailed, but that didn't mean that he had any idea how to actually do it.

"If you are uncertain," D began, starting to draw away. "If you have even the tiniest doubt lingering...we cannot..."

Leon cut D off with a kiss. A doubt? How funny was that? He knew, knew that D was responsible for dozens of deaths. He knew that D wasn't quite human, just like all the creatures running around the shop weren't quite animals, even if he'd never felt ready to look at it head on before. And somewhere even deeper he knew what it would mean to cross this threshold together, to no longer be able to lie to himself about what he felt and what it meant for their future. Leon knew all this, and he didn't have a doubt. He wanted D. He'd wanted D for years.

"Oh," D murmured, as though he'd just come to some profound realisation. "Leon." And kissed Leon with a renewed hunger, suddenly biting and licking and devouring like some wild animal, nails sharp over Leon's throat, limbs entwining.

It was all incredibly overwhelming, and Leon didn't even know how they got from kissing standing up to kissing lying down on D's bed, or how Leon had lost his shirt, but that was alright with him. D's skin was warm and very smooth and Leon couldn't get enough of it gliding along his own. The gown D was wearing was different from usual, and didn't have closures at the neck, or shoulder or waist. Leon pulled at the hem and D lifted his body accommodatingly, allowing the dress to be pulled up his legs, over his hips, up his torso and finally over his head. The action left his hair wildly disarrayed, and Leon found himself grinning at the sight of D rumpled; it suited him. He also liked the look of D nearly naked, left only a tiny pair of pale blue shorts. As pretty a picture he made in them, chest heaving with every laboured breath, Leon wanted to see everything. D smiled softly as he followed Leon's gaze, and hooked his thumbs through the waistband of the shorts, wriggling as he pulled them down and off.

Leon never could have imagined he would be so turned on by another man's naked body, but it was D. Leon covered D's body with his own and D welcomed him with kisses, bringing up his knees to tuck loosely against Leon's ribs, tugging insistently at the button of Leon's jeans. Leon's own underwear joined D's moments later and Leon sank down to meet the arch of D's body with nothing between them, groaning at the sensation.

D's long legs were bare and hairless, downy soft winding around Leon's hips, bringing their lower bodies together. He kept making those desperate, intoxicating sounds, and Leon couldn't help but echo them. D used the grip of his legs as leverage, raising and lowering himself against Leon, grinding them together almost desperately. Every few moments Leon's mind tried to tell him that this was very sudden, and that D was acting somewhat out of character, and that he really needed to slow down, because regardless of whether someone was male or female, they didn't like being fucked senseless without any foreplay. Leon was very good at ignoring his mind, and besides, D seemed just as eager as Leon.

"I need..." Leon gasped, feeling incredibly close to something he'd only ever achieved alone. Even pressed flesh to flesh it felt bold, reaching down to cup the full curve of D's ass in his palm. At the way D bucked against him, Leon gripped tight and gave a little tuck, pulling the cheeks apart. "I want--D, can I? I need--"

D nodded and his hips stilled their frenzied movements. "I do, too," D said breathlessly.

"I've never..." Leon trailed off, flushing in embarrassment.

D kissed him softly, searchingly, one hand soothing down Leon's chest. "I know."

"I don't want to hurt you." Leon almost didn't recognise his own voice, tender and earnest.

"You won't," D reassured him. "Just..." He let his legs fall open and canted his hips. "Just..." His palm smoothed over Leon's stomach and wrapped around his cock. Leon couldn't help the way he hissed and bucked into the touch, as D gave him a firm stroke.

"Don't you--I mean, aren't you supposed to--" Leon didn't know what he meant. He only knew that in his magazines, they always said that if you were going to do anal sex, you had to carefully prepare, with lots of lubrication, and stretching and patience. "Lube?"

D shook his head, a little frantically. "No, just..." He arched his back and guided Leon to his opening. Leon groaned at the first press, tight and slick giving way as his hips surged forward. D was so hot, and his body welcomed the intrusion, gripping and pulling him deeper. Despite any reservations or protestations, Leon couldn't help but slide deeper.

Unbelievable. Incomparable. His fist was never going to cut it again after this. D groaned and shifted, giving a little wriggle of his hips. Then Leon was in all the way, right to his balls. If Leon had been any less desperate, he might have paused to enjoy it all, how perfectly they fit together. D cradling him close, allowing Leon inside, the way his walls pulsed around Leon's cock. Yet even though a small voice in the back of his head told him to go slow, that he should be careful with D, that D was special, Leon could stop the desperate, driving impulse and didn't really want to. And, if the way D writhed and cried against him, he didn't think he wanted that, either.

It was quick, and from Leon's entirely limited perspective, it was fucking awesome. They moved together frantically, D's limbs twining around Leon, using his body as leverage. The silk was cold and slippery beneath Leon's touch, and their bodies made obscene noises each time he withdrew and fucked back inside. He buried his face in D's shoulder, as much as he wanted to see D's expression, he couldn't bear all the stimulation, and he knew he shouldn't be the one to come first, but less than two minutes in, he felt the familiar tightening sensation in his gut and balls, and held his breath, gritted his teeth, tried to hold off…

"Let go," D murmured hotly against Leon's cheek. His fingers grazed Leon's neck and shoulder with one hand, and down his spine, over his ass with the other. Leon shuddered at the touch and began to come, hips bucking helplessly and it was ten times harderbetterlongermoreintense than any time before. Each rough thrust, each pulse drew breathy sighs from D, as though he was the one experiencing the best orgasm of his life. But as he came down from the high, Leon could still feel D's dick hard against his stomach.

"Sorry," he muttered, his lips numb, bones liquid. Even though he felt bad about crushing D, he couldn't muster the strength to do anything about it. D let him rest for a long moment, drawing soothing hands up and down Leon's back as his muscles began to relax. Still, D was so small and slight, and eventually he brought his hands between them, coaxing Leon's body off his own.

Leon cracked open one eye, glancing at D. D was watching him, his gaze open for once, and a million things unsaid held within. Suddenly, it wasn't so hard to move. Leon couldn't look at what he was doing, because maybe then he would have had to think about it, but he reached between them, fisted his hand around D's erection and watched in fascination as D's eyes fluttered closed and his mouth dropped open. Slowly, Leon began to drag his fist up and down, the friction lessened with the way D was leaking all over both of them. It was surreal—and frankly, a major turn on—to watch D's composure fly out the window the way it only ever did for sweets.

Except, of course, this was even more than that. His cheeks were flushed, but now Leon could see the blush went down D's throat, over his collarbone and into his chest. His hands were fists in the sheets, gripping and twisting. The small, almost formless sounds issuing forth from D's throat were imploring and needy in a way Leon had never imagined D could be. Leon would be lying if he said he'd never been affected by watching D go to town on his sweets, but this was a whole new level and to his immense disbelief, he could feel himself getting hard again already.

He really should focus on D, and making him happy, he knew that. Fuck, he wanted to. D's cock in his palm was so fucking sweet, Leon wanted to feel him come. Wanted to see the pleasure crack the very last of his perfect façade. Even so, his hips began to move on their own, his body already desperate for another go. He inched closer to D, tucking his dick up against D's hip and rubbing. D's eyes shot open, going immediately to Leon's growing erection, and he licked his lips. Leon groaned and his dick twitched, imagining the soft kitten licks D used on his chocolates on his cock instead.

It didn't take much maneuvering to get back into position. D rolled onto his side and threw a leg over Leon's hips, opening himself up just right, and then it was easy for Leon to thrust in. D was even wetter than before, and Leon realised it was because he'd come inside, and the thought was so insanely hot he almost came again right then. The angle was awkward to keep jerking D off so he just held on instead, letting the rocking of their bodies thrust D into his fist. D clasped his hands at the nape of Leon's neck, palming his skull, running his fingers through the hair while his mouth traced soft kisses along Leon's throat.

They were silent, save for the occasional gasp or groan or please. It was almost surreal to Leon; he could hear their heartbeats and their rapid breath and when he closed his eyes, if felt as though they were merging in some way beyond jus the physical. Like…he was fucking D, but D was inside of him somehow, too. He thrust his hips particularly hard at that thought and D bit Leon's throat against a squeal of pleasure, and then he was trembling and jerking in Leon's arms. His dick jerked in Leon's hand, and Leon squeezed tighter at the first hot, wet pulse of D's cum, drawing a desperate sound from D's lips. Between that and the feel of his body clenching down on Leon's cock was enough to drive him over the edge again.

Lethargy spread sticky and hot through his body, as D rolled Leon onto his back and followed, draping across him, his palm reassuring against Leon's chest. Leon wanted to just give into the sudden overwhelming exhaustion beckoning him, but a niggling voice in the back of his head told him that was a bad idea. Talking usually came first in a relationship, but with as much as he and D talked, it always went in circles, never got to the heart of things.

It had never seemed to matter much, cause Leon wasn't a talker, really. And anyway, D liked to do most of the talking. But D wasn't making a sound, so still and silent against Leon it was as if he was already asleep. He remembered how sad D had sounded earlier, and wondered if his protests had just been for show, or for real. Leon took a deep breath and spoke without thinking about it too much.

"Are you okay?" he asked, tracing his hand down D's arm lightly. D shivered and cuddled in closer to Leon, but didn't speak. His silence was petulant and nervous. Leon suppressed the urge to sigh again. D's skin was so soft under the touch, he couldn't stop exploring, feeling goosebumps rise as he travelled up D's arm, over his collarbone, up his neck, down his spine. Some of the tension went out of D's frame and he leaned into Leon, as if asking to be embraced.

Leon laid his head on top of D's, pressed his cheek into the silky hair and closed his eyes, flailing about for the proper words. He brought his arms up to hold D, linked in the small of his back. We can pretend it never happened got stuck in the back of his throat, because no, they couldn't, and he wouldn't want to anyway. Same with we don't have to do it again. Because maybe he didn't have a basis for comparison, but after having D, he couldn't see why he'd want anyone else.

Or…maybe he'd done it wrong? D had come, but in his own experience, it didn't take much to get Leon off. Maybe D was the same, and even though the sex had sucked, he'd got off anyway. One hand slipped down to D's hip. "I could try again," he offered hoarsely. D's hand caught his wrist short of its destination.

Abruptly, frustration gave way to anger. Leon levered himself up on his elbow, exhaustion forgot. "Look, D, I can't read minds. You gonna to tell me what the hell is the matter?"

D rolled onto his back and looked up at Leon through a curtain of hair, his eyes slitted and his mouth curved in a mocking smile. "Well, Detective, that certainly took less time than I had imagined," he purred.

For a brief, inane moment, Leon thought D was making a reference to his performance, and then his brain caught up with his ego. He rolled his eyes. "I may have been a virgin, but at least I know sex doesn't instantly make a perfect relationship, D," he said, but he made his voice gentle.

"No," D agreed. He shifted into a cross-legged position, and something about seeing D like that, naked, was making the room feel tiny and hot. It left him so open. "However, there are some people so incompatible that sex should never even come into the equation."

Leon sat up so quickly he surprised himself, hand on D's knee, face close to D's, near enough to feel his suddenly rapid breath. "D, the only problem with us having sex is that we didn't do it sooner."

D let out a shuddering breath, hot on Leon's lips. "Detect—"

"If you wanna say something real, go ahead, but I'm not going to listen to you try to make up excuses why this shouldn't have happened." Now that the haze of arousal was gone, he was able to think clearly about what D had said before, about sharing what was important with the people you wanted in your life. Suddenly it made perfect sense, why he'd never been able to find someone to have sex with before. "'Cause the way I see it, D, is we're not compatible with anyone else but each other."

"Detect—" Leon kissed him before he could finish. This, he was good at; he'd had plenty of practice. He wrapped his arms around D and pulled him close until D was in his lap again, and D's mouth was open and warm and only slightly resistant to the kiss. Resistance melted into compliance and then eagerness, and D's flat palms stopped pushing at Leon's shoulders and slid around his back to hold him in place. D might be able to lie with words, and he'd probably always win at verbal sparring, but now Leon knew where to get him.

"I want you," Leon murmured, "and I know you want me."

He pressed D back down against the bed, kissing him again, long and deep, and when D drew back at last, his expression was filled with the same sadness as before. "There are so many things about me that you do not know—impediments—"

Leon narrowed his eyes. "That incense—"

"Is not a hallucinogenic drug, Detective, before you even begin," D sighed wearily. "Nor am I selling humans, nor…" He trailed off, as if he caught himself about to tell a lie.

Leon felt a strange buzzing sensation all through his body, alert. He'd never been so ready to hear anything in his life. "What D? What do you do, then?"

D gazed at him wide-eyed. "Never will this work, Leon."

There was a painfully tight clenching in his chest, and Leon couldn't bear waiting any longer. "Let me decide," he said tersely.

D opened his mouth, but after a long moment, closed it again. Leon knew that feeling, of wanting so badly to say something, but being physically incapable. D swallowed audibly. "If I tell you these things, then everything must change." D frowned, and didn't meet Leon's eyes. "Whether you accept them, or not, it will all change. And most likely, not for the better."

It was bad. Leon had always thought as much. D had a way of distracting him and misleading him, and distorting the truth, so that he spent so much time listening to tall tales and dealing in smoke and mirrors that he mostly forgot about the truth of the matter. People were dying, and D was probably the one responsible. So how was he supposed to make sense of it all, when D was lying here in bed with him? Could he be okay with having it confirmed? And if not, could he be okay with losing D?

Leon closed his eyes and pulled D into a tight hug again. D curled into him, all soft flesh and angles. "Then don't tell me," he murmured into D's hair.

"Wh—" D's hands balled into fists.

"Yet," Leon amended. "Just wait."

"Detective," D said, "we cannot put off the inevitable forever."

"We can for now," Leon reasoned, his tone firm. He knew D was right, and he'd have to face up to the truth soon. It wasn't going to be pretty, and he knew it, but he also knew he wasn't going to give up easily. He tightened his hold on D, who made a small sound, though not of protest, and clung back.

"For tonight," D said at length, giving in.

Tomorrow, then, they would need to talk. The closer they'd become, the more Leon had begun to view uncovering D's secrets as the inevitable, messy conclusion of their relationship. Something earth-shattering and irrevocable. But now…now that he had D curled up beside him, warm and soft and accessible in a way he'd never been before, Leon realised that something earth-shattering and irrevocable had already occurred. Whatever else was to come, he found it wasn't nearly so daunting.