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Eleven hours.
Kaidan sat in the empty comm room, idly flicking through his omni-tool. Their trajectory to Ilos was simple enough – they’d long since left Citadel space, now flying a direct FTL course to the Pangaea Cluster. An ETA of eleven hours, fourteen minutes, and fifty-two seconds was ticking down in the corner of his tool.
Shit.
He closed his eyes, turning his tool off before placing his hands behind his head and gazing up at the ceiling with a furrowed brow. A restless sigh escaped from under his breath.
His heart was racing – only, not for the reason it should be.
He had sought the quiet solitude of the comm room quite often this past week, feeling less inclined to be seen by the crew. Not after Virmire. Not after Ash –
“Nope.” He mumbled into the empty room, shaking his head as though to rid the thought. A pang of guilt stabbed at him but he swallowed the emotion as best he could. His thoughts had been a mess ever since they’d left the Hoc system and he simply didn’t have the energy to socialize much these days.
And so, the emptiness of the rarely-used comm room it was. He felt selfish, but he simply wasn’t in the mood to put on a pained smile and meet the empathetic gaze of his fellow crewmen.
He was sure the talk would be quiet tonight, though. They were all feeling the same conflicting emotions – the rush at having defied the council’s orders, the thrill of chasing down their long-sought enemy, all tangled with the unavoidable whispering of fear that had snaked its way up their spines with the understanding that this might well be a one-way mission.
But that wasn’t what was on Kaidan’s mind, nor was it what had his heart beating so fast.
To that he could only accredit one Commander Jane Shepard.
Maybe that was the real reason he was keen to avoid the crew at this moment, he pondered briefly. It wasn’t exactly Staff Lieutenant protocol to be fantasizing about breaking regs with their Commanding Officer. The thought made him feel more than a little guilty.
He sighed again, leaning forward and clasping his hands together anxiously as he tried to make sense of his own thoughts.
He’d spent the first few hours after they’d blasted out from Citadel space cleaning his pistol, polishing his hardsuit, double-checking his amplifier. He’d packed extra energy bars inside the Mako, made sure the water unit had enough to last them well over a day, and slammed back as much medication as feasibly possible to ensure a migraine wouldn’t be taking over his body anytime soon.
In other words, he’d prepared everything he could think of to ensure he had time to think.
Which brought his thoughts back to her, although truthfully she was never far from his mind.
Commander Jane Shepard.
Jane, renowned N7 operative and Skyllian Blitz war hero. Jane, with her shock of red hair, the secretive smiles she reserved just for him, the adorable scattering of freckles across her nose that he could still see through her exosuit visor. Even in the heat of battle, those freckles always made his heart flip inside his chest.
He thought about all of their little moments that had always been thick and heavy with an undercurrent of…god, of something, he just didn’t know what. Or maybe he did know but was just too scared to admit it.
What had they been doing these past few months? Kaidan was fidgeting his hands restlessly now, sighing again into the empty room. They hadn’t done anything that constituted them for a genuine infraction. The Alliance was formatted in action, not emotion. And thank god for that, he thought with a frown, because he’d have been absolutely fucked from day one had that not been the case.
Jane, with her quick mind and sharp intellect. Jane, with her wry humour and sly winks when he was the only one to catch onto her quips. Jane, with her confidence not only as a soldier, as a leader, but as an individual. She was self-assured, empathetic, undeniably kind. Sexy as all hell, too, with her long legs and curvy hips, but that went without saying.
No, he’d been enamoured by her from the moment he’d met her. He’d understood, all at once, why relationships had never been all that successful for him in the past. Kaidan had never met someone who could match him the way Jane had – hell, she was often two steps ahead of him, and with a devilishly gorgeous smile on her face to boot. She drew him to her in a way no one else had ever come close.
And the craziest part was – he was certain she felt the same way.
“Shit.” He muttered aloud, his heart still pounding away in his chest. He tapped at his tool again – eleven hours, three minutes, forty-eight seconds. What did he want to do?
Well, he knew what he wanted to do. But Kaidan was not a man who made any decision lightly – he was logical, practical, infallible. He kept his emotions under check. He was a soldier known for being predictable in that he always did the right thing.
And right now, the right thing to do was to head to the sleeper pods and catch some sleep. But that sure as hell wasn’t what he wanted.
Which was precisely why he felt so conflicted now. Because it wasn’t every day that you found yourself in a life or death situation. And, in moments where a high inevitability of death loomed overhead, wasn’t that supposed to be the time where you chose to follow your heart instead of your logic? Just once?
He thought about Jane again, envisioning her inside of her cabin a deck below. Once they’d departed through the Serpent relay, she’d instructed Joker to set the course to Ilos and excused herself immediately into the sanctity of her office – but not without catching his gaze for the briefest of moments, first. A complicated flitting of emotions had passed over her face – hope? Desire? Fear?
Nagging glimmer of ever-present doubt aside, Kaidan was relatively certain that she was currently shying away for the same reasons as he.
To avoid the unavoidable pull that seemed to exist between them. Uncertain which steps to take. Wanting to be the Commander that she was while simultaneously wanting to selfishly just be human for once.
A thousand tiny moments raced through his mind all at once. The intensity in her voice when she barked orders out on the field. The endless laughter that had erupted from her with every impossible turn she made in the mako. The way her eyes would linger on him as they stripped out of their hardsuits when she thought he wasn’t looking. The gentle pat of her hands over his late at night in the mess hall, a reassuring gesture as she departed for sleep. The happy smile she’d send to him – that smile she reserved just for him, he noticed – when she’d find him fiddling by the console outside her cabin doors.
All those hours they’d spent, in early mornings and late evenings, sneaking conversation in about each other that extended entirely beyond what a Commanding Officer truly needed to know about their Staff Lieutenant.
The way she’d hugged him, tight with a rare sort of vulnerability he’d never seen from her before, after Virmire.
And that almost-kiss at her locker when they’d been dry-docked – in her frustration, she’d allowed her facade to drop just long enough for him to see the unfiltered desire in her eyes as she’d been encased in his arms.
“I’d never leave you behind, Kaidan. I couldn’t. You know that.”
Had that look in the cockpit been an invitation? Was she waiting for him? There was always the off-chance that he had misread her, but if he was truly honest with himself he thought she’d made her intentions clear enough by now.
And if that was the case – what in the hell was he waiting for?
His fingers were shaking but his mind was set. He tapped his tool one last time.
Eleven hours, one minute, thirteen seconds.
Standing, he released a slow breath. His feet began to move unthinkingly out of the sanctity of the comm room, his boots feeling heavy as he made his way down the stairs to the deck below. He couldn’t think of a better moment than right now to be completely and irrevocably human.
/////
“Come in.”
He slipped inside quietly, not saying a word, stopping just far enough inside to allow the hydraulic doors to shut behind him with a whir. All of his bravado, his determination, faded in the silence of the room before him.
Was he really here? In his CO’s cabin? With no reason other than he simply wanted to spend what might well be his last hours with the woman who’d permanently taken residence in his thoughts from the moment he’d met her?
He really wasn’t sure how in the hell was he supposed to vocalize all that.
Jane was sitting at her roundtable, datapad in hand, eyes gazing up at him with a soft smile. There was no questioning, no surprise in her body language. If anything, she seemed almost relieved.
It was that thought that gave him the resolve to smile shyly back at her, at least.
Still not saying a word, she set her pad down and leaned back against her chair with an open expression. She looked him over briefly, from his head to his toes – the warmth in her eyes made his stomach flutter – before gesturing to the second unoccupied seat across from her.
“Care to join me?”
“Hmm.” He nodded after a moment, his nerves fading a bit at her welcoming words. Remembering how to use his legs, he stepped forward, settling down with his body facing hers, their knees just brushing.
God, even the featherlight touch of their knees felt electric. He was such a goner.
“Something on your mind, Kaidan?” She spoke softly, hands clasped loosely on the table. He met her gaze but still couldn’t find the words to speak.
He opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure where to start. After a moment she smirked, as though understanding his dilemma. She opted to change gears.
“Say, Alenko. Tell me. I imagine after kicking Saren’s ass tomorrow that we’ll all be getting some nice shore leave.” Her green eyes were alight with humor now, her freckles just visible in the dim light. “You have any plans as to how you’ll be spending yours?”
He smiled now, flashing a hint of teeth. He was grateful for the tension relief. They’d played this game several times before; each hinting at after the mission but never saying the words outright. To say it aloud would make it real, and “real” was greatly overshadowed by “regulations” until the mission was over.
But that was before everything had gone to hell.
“Shepard, I – listen. I don’t care what I do on my shore leave. I don’t care where I go or how long I’m there for.” His voice came out sharper than he intended, the intensity of his words displaying clearly. He needed her to understand. “I just want to spend it with you.”
Fuck the regs.
Her eyes widened for a brief second before a warm flush appeared over her cheeks. Perhaps she hadn’t been expecting him to break their little game, after all.
“With me?”
“With you.” He said, swallowing thickly. He placed his own hands on the table, folded neatly mere inches from hers. “Permission to speak freely, ma’am?”
She laughed at that. “I think you already have, Lieutenant. But last I checked, we were off the clock anyway. Go right ahead.”
“I wanted – that is, I hoped…” He trailed off, the pounding of his heart audible in his ears. “I was hoping you might be interested in spending some time with me, too.”
“Are you asking me out on a date, Alenko?”
“You bet your ass I am, Shepard.”
She laughed again – god, it had to be his favourite sound in the world – her cheeks now a rosy pink. To his immense relief, she reached out with her fingers and slowly entwined them into his own.
“And here I was worried you’d never ask.”
“Is that a yes?”
“You bet your ass that’s a yes.” She quipped playfully, making him chuckle. The tight knot in his stomach was now easing into a pleasurable roll of butterflies. “Took you long enough to ask.”
“Ah, well – you see, last I checked the Alliance manuals, it’s not exactly regulation to be asking out your CO’s.” He smirked, running a thumb over the back of her hand.
“Hmm, I suppose you’re right.” She quirked a brow at him, her tone teasing. “But I don’t think that’s the full story.”
He tilted his head, brow furrowing ever so slightly. “How so?”
“I think I know you well enough by now, Kaidan. I know…you were waiting. Leaving yourself a way out.” Her eyes sparkled mischievously. “So how long did you debate coming down here into my room?”
He flushed slightly. Shit. Perhaps she understood him a little too well.
“Ah – about forty minutes or so.”
“Not bad.”
“Why, thank you.” He smiled self-deprecatingly. He should feel embarrassed but, if her grin was any indication, she seemed to enjoy figuring him out. “I honestly thought it would take me longer.”
“Me too, but I’m happy it didn’t. Whereabouts?”
“Comm room.”
“Good choice.” She grinned, shaking her head slightly. “That’s what I like about you, Kaidan. You don’t – you aren’t impulsive. You’re careful. Cautious, even. I know you need to work things out in your head before you act on them. It’s part of what makes you such a great soldier.”
“Yeah. Maybe you’re right. And, thank you, I suppose.”
“You’re welcome.” She leaned forward then, a playful look on her face. “But, I was hoping to get to know more about the man behind the soldier tonight. Which begs the question of, why now?”
He frowned then, disconcerted. “I…don’t know what you mean, Commander.”
“Jane.”
“Sorry, habit. Jane.”
“I mean…tomorrow aside, why are you really here tonight, Kaidan.” Her voice dropped an octave, one sharp brow raised inquisitively.
He swallowed, pausing to think.
“Well, Jane. I can tell you that I – that I wanted to spend time with you. That I wanted to be near you. That I wanted to tell you how I feel about you, how I’ve felt about you for a long time. I wanted to tell you that now, while I still have the chance.” He caught her gaze, her expression encouraging. “But…I have the feeling that that isn’t exactly what you’re asking.”
“Oh no, it is.” Shepard shuffled forward ever so slightly so their knees bumped together again. “I just think you can be more honest than that.”
A warmth stirred low in his belly at her words. He paused for several seconds, his tongue suddenly feeling too thick in his mouth to form words. She waited patiently, holding his gaze in an inviting way that made his whole body tingle. He never was one to back down at a challenge.
“You really want the truth from me, Shepard?”
His voice was husky, asking for permission. He’d wanted to feel human tonight, yes – but he’d also come with no expectations. He was never one to presume. Hearing her reciprocate the same feelings he felt would have been more than enough to leave him a very happy man for the evening.
She had been right; he was always leaving a way out – for himself and for her. He had to be sure.
She raised a hand then, softly touching his face. Her fingers left a tingling over his skin in their wake, ghosting over the shape of his brow, down his cheeks, caressing along his chin to finally sweep her thumb over his lips.
“Yeah, Kaidan. I do.” Her eyes tore from his mouth and met his gaze once more. “Something tells me…it’s going to be everything I’ve been hoping you’d say to me for some time now.”
He chuckled lowly at that, feeling warm all over. Kaidan brought his hand up to meet hers, so much larger than her own, encasing it gently and bringing it to his lips for a kiss. He didn’t miss the way it made her shiver and damn if it didn’t send a pleasurable ripple straight to his groin. God, she had a way with him; he was already semi-hard inside of his pants.
Tomorrow suddenly felt like eleven lightyears away as opposed to mere hours. Right now all he could think about was her, about her laugh, her smile, the way she made him feel both powerful and powerless.
So he was honest.
“Shepard, I came here tonight because I wanted to tell you…shit, I wanted to tell you how I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you from the moment I met you. You’re always on my mind. It’s maddening, in the best possible way. I came here because I want to tell you how amazing I think you are. How brilliant, and how beautiful, and how good. And that’s so rare, Shepard. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
Her eyes lit up at his words and, emboldened, he continued.
“And I wanted to thank you. The way you make me feel – I’ve never felt this way about a woman in my entire life. You make me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to, so long as I have you by my side. And while I still think you drive the mako like a drunk krogran, I’ve never told you how worth it it is for me to see how incredibly happy that always makes you.”
She laughed then, throwing her head back at that as he joined in.
“And if I’m really honest, Shep – god, I have wanted to kiss you for so damn long.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Her voice whispered to him as she leant in with a glowing smile.
He didn’t need any more convincing than that.
He couldn’t help the moan that rumbled out of chest the moment their lips met; it was months of desire and wistful longing that all came to fruition in a single jarring moment. He’d envisioned this so many times and now here she was, Jane Shepard, her lips softer than he’d ever imagined with her small hands clutching at the nape of his neck, skimming across his chest, her tongue battling his as waves of desperation began to claw at both of them.
He didn’t know who stood up first – it was as though they were in sync, both hit with the sudden need to be closer than they already were. Kaidan vaguely heard the sound of their chairs scraping back as they pressed together, mouths moving over one another as though starved. She tore her lips away from his to release a soft sigh of contentment as she pressed herself into him, head tilting back to allow him access to pepper kisses across her cheek, down the elegant curve of her neck.
“Ah.” She grunted softly as her back hit the wall – when had they shuffled that far from the table? – and she took the opportunity to grasp at his belt, tugging his hips to slam into hers.
It was his turn to groan, and he couldn’t help grinding his erection into her, the newfound sensation making his head spin. This only seemed to spur her on further – she raised a leg and he dutifully slid a hand under her thigh to support her weight, not missing a beat when she wrapped the other around his waist. He felt Shepard’s hands on either side of his face, pulling him back up to kiss her again, their tongues clashing once more.
“Fuck.” She moaned softly as he began kneading the skin under her ass, ghosting his fingers along her inner thighs, gripping her tightly to him. She was grinding into him eagerly, his cock rock-hard and surrounded by the tantalizing heat emitting from her center.
Kaidan couldn’t think, couldn’t even piece together what either of them was doing. All he could make sense of was the delicious friction she was providing along his now-throbbing erection, the sound of her pleased moans as his hands skimmed over her ass, her breasts, the curve of her waist; he was intoxicated by the taste of her skin, torn between kissing her mouth and dragging his tongue along her neck to capture the beads of sweat that had begun to form.
Was he really manhandling his CO against the wall of her office right now? It was so unlike him and yet, god, he couldn’t remember the last time anything had felt so good, so right.
“Kaidan…” Her voice whispered into his ear, and he shivered at the feel of her warm breath over his ear. But it also jolted a brief semblance of sense into him and he pulled his mouth away from where he had been nuzzling into her neck to instead press his forehead against hers, bringing the attention of her eyes back to his own.
God, she really was beautiful. Her lips were swollen and red, cheeks flushed, panting lightly, eyes half-lidded and darting between meeting his own and back down at his mouth. He begrudgingly removed one hand from her backside to instead caress the side of her face, to which she nuzzled into, kissing his lips softly again, and again, and again.
“Shepard – Jane, I…” He started, then stopped, distracted by her soft kisses before pulling back again, his eyes boring into hers. “I – I’m sorry, I don’t, are you…I just want to be sure –”
“You know, you’re really cute when you’re trying to be a gentleman.” She said breathily, her gaze softening at the conflicted look that must have been on his face. “Stay here tonight, Kaidan. With me.”
He exhaled loudly, her words sending a tingle down his spine.
“You’re sure?” He whispered huskily, groaning when she tightened her long legs still wrapped around his waist and thrust her hips against his.
“I’ve never been so sure of anything.” She replied quietly. It made his heart pound, if it was even possible, harder in his chest.
“You know…you know I’m absolutely crazy about you, right?” He said with a bashful grin. She looked up at him as a beautiful smile overtook her features.
“Yeah, I know. And it’s a damn good thing, because I’d hate to be the only one.” She kissed him again, smiling into his lips. “Which is exactly why we have to make it out tomorrow, because something tells me tonight won’t be nearly enough for me to have my fill of you.”
He moaned into her kiss at her words, giving in completely to the feel of her. The reprieve ended and the hunger was back; not but a moment later she was untucking his shirt out of his BDUs and hastily tugging it up. He broke their kiss just long enough to grab it one-handed over the back of his head, throwing it into the corner and pressing his now-bare chest into her, lips crashing together once more. He didn’t miss the way her eyes soaked in the view of him and it caused a warm flush to pool low in his belly at the sight.
There was still entirely too much clothing between them.
He nuzzled his way down her neck, shifting her weight onto one of his legs so he could grip her own shirt up and over her head. No sooner had it joined his own in some far off corner of the room was he already scrabbling at her pants, her feet helpfully fighting to kick her own boots off from behind his waist and clunk loudly onto the floor below them.
Kaidan unravelled her legs and deposited her gently back onto the ground, allowing his hands to roam unfettered across the bare skin of her curves as her pants hit the floor. She leant back against the wall for support, panting lightly, her arms still gripping his shoulders as though unwilling to let him go.
“Shepard…Jane, you’re so goddamn beautiful, did you know that?” He muttered into her skin, kissing his way down her chest, nuzzling between her breasts. Her creamy skin erupted in goosebumps at his touch. She was humming softly at his words, unraveling before him and urging him on.
He began to kneel, his hands sliding slowly down her back as he pressed kisses to her bellybutton, licking and nuzzling along her panty line. Her nails were digging into his shoulders and she audibly gasped, head rolling back to thump against the wall, when he boldly placed a kiss at the apex of her thighs.
It was his turn to release a pleased sound, now – her scent was driving him wild, his mind unable to think of anything but her.
Her panties were already damp with arousal and he wasted no time in pushing them to the side, one hand gripping the globe of her ass while the other skimmed up to gather some of her wetness over his fingers. He slid his fingertips up along her slit, marveling at how wet she already was. He was rewarded when he found her clitoris, drawing a firm circle around it – her whole body shook and a pleading whimper poured from her mouth, the sound making his balls tighten with the desire to pull that cry from her over and over again.
“Kaidan, please…” Her chest was heaving, her hips wiggling under his ministrations. He caught her eyes – full of desire, lust, want – and watched her face as he dropped his hand back to carefully enter one thick finger inside of her.
They both moaned. Jane closed her eyes, lifting one of her legs as though requesting, if possible, that he get even closer. He was all too happy to acquiesce; Kaidan hastily threw her long lean limb over his shoulder and didn’t waste a single second longer in burying his face between her thighs, kissing and lapping at her center until his chin was covered in her juices.
“Oh my god.” She was moaning and panting freely from above him, a feeling he reciprocated eagerly. His cock was so hard he could feel it straining almost painfully from within the confines of his pants – she tasted wonderful.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to taste you.” His words came out huskily against her skin, the longing in his voice evident even to him.
“God Kaidan, you feel so good.” She half-moaned above him, gasping for breath and saying his name like a mantra. Her hands were now pressing into the back of his head, urging him on, and fuck if that wasn’t the sexiest goddamn thing he’d ever experienced.
If she was going to allow him this opportunity to indulge, he was not a man to take it for granted. So he gave it his all.
With one hand roughly cupping the underside of her ass, he used the other to bury one, then two, fingers up to his knuckle, rocking them in and out of her until her moans told him exactly how she liked to be handled. Kaidan had always been a diligent student and a passionate lover – not that Jane made it difficult for him with her ample words of appreciation each time he hit that perfect spot. He lapped and suckled eagerly at her bundle of nerves, feeling the juices of her arousal drip slowly down his hand as he continued to pump his fingers into her at a steady pace.
She was crying eagerly above him now, her support leg beginning to shake, hips squirming under his ravishing. She was close.
“That’s it, Jane. It feels good, doesn’t it.” His voice was low, egging her on.
“Fuck, yes. So good.” Her nails dug even harder into his scalp, sending another impossible shot of pleasure straight to his cock. She was so wet and warm around his fingers, so incredibly tight, that it was making his head spin thinking about how good it would feel to bury himself inside of her.
“I want you to come for me.” He spoke into her skin, kissing and lapping all the while, content for now to drown in the taste of her. She whimpered and moaned, tossing her head back against the wall again. So close. He pumped his fingers harder, suckling at her mercilessly.
There.
The leg over his shoulder tightened inexplicably, his name pouring from her lips in a half-sob, and she quaked under him as she bent her whole body back with a snap.
He removed his fingers slowly, licking them clean in his own mouth before carefully removing the leg she’d tossed over his shoulder. Gently, while she still caught her breath above him, he peeled her panties down the lean muscles of her legs to join her pants on the floor. Shepard’s grip on him lessened, and Kaidan kissed his way back up to her – his mouth dragging across her belly, between her breasts still encased in her military bra, along her collarbone – before capturing her mouth in his.
“Kaidan.” Her voice was a little breathless but her green eyes were alight with a passion and lust he’d never seen before. She was running her hands through his hair, gripping him close to her as though she never wanted to let him go, her body shaking slightly in his arms. “Goddamn, if I’d known what I was missing out on I would have demanded we do this earlier.”
He grinned down at her rather bashfully, all at once realizing just how intense he’d gotten in the heat of the moment.
“Hmm, I’m glad. I, uh…I may have thought about doing that more than I care to admit.”
“Is that so?” She nuzzled her nose against his, gazing up at him with a mischievous grin. Her skin was aglow with a pleasant flush that made her freckles shine. Shepard reached back and unclasped her bra, the last offending piece of garment she wore falling unceremoniously to the floor. “In that case, I can’t wait to see what else you’ve been thinking about.”
With a soft sigh, he pressed his still-hard erection into her groin once more and raised a hand unthinkingly to cup one perfectly pale breast. To his immense pleasure, the dusty pink nipple hardened in his palm.
“God, you’re perfect.” He muttered, emboldened once more by the site of her fully naked before him. She chuckled in appreciation, taking advantage of his obvious distraction by making short work of his belt. A distant thought in his mind reminded him that he should feel nervous, having Shepard see him fully as he was, but he was far too gone to care.
“Ah.” He dropped his head onto her shoulder with a hiss when she grasped his thick cock in her hand over his briefs. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this hard.
Shepard smirked at him, placing a teasing kiss on his chest before ducking down to untie his boots. He helped as best he could with the limited blood flow currently reaching his feet, stumbling out of his boots haphazardly and allowing her to tug his pants off along with them.
“I think you’ll feel better if we ditch these, too.” Her sly voice floated up to him as she grasped his briefs gently, pulling them down his thighs and finally releasing his throbbing erection out from the confines of the tight fabric. He barely had a moment to relish in the feeling before her small hand grasped him at the base, the weight of the heavy thickness in her palm eliciting a moan from both of them.
“Shepard.” He hissed, thrusting into her hand helplessly. She stood back up, still stroking him firmly, pressing her naked body into his as an invitation. His mind swimming, Kaidan met her kiss eagerly, tongue clashing with hers as he thrust himself against her soft skin. He needed to feel her, needed to have that warm wetness wrapped around him –
And then he was stumbling backwards as she pushed him playfully down onto the sheets.
“Sit back.” She said, the hunger in her eyes returning as she looked him over at the foot of the mattress. He was only too eager to comply, and as he scooted his way up to settle into her pillows he couldn’t help but notice that her gaze lingered on his fully erect cock. She crawled over him slowly, allowing him to watch the dangerous sway of her hips, the bounce of her breasts, the dim lighting flickering off the moisture still present along her inner thigh.
Kaidan reached up with his hands to welcome her body to his, one palm circling down the curve of her hip and reacquainting with the firm muscles of her ass, the other snaking into her hair to pull her in for a kiss.
“Fuck.” She moaned into his mouth, sliding her slick center over his erection in earnest. The hand cupping her cheek pressed her into him harder, his own hips thrusting against her helplessly. His mind was spinning in a haze of pleasure; he needed to be inside of her.
“That an order, Shepard?” He said huskily, grunting as she continued to tease herself over him.
“God, yes.”
Her words whispered in his ear and it was all he needed to hear. Kaidan flipped her effortlessly onto her back, settling back onto his knees from between her legs. She looked up at him lustfully, eagerly spreading her legs in invitation. The gesture in and of itself coaxed a deep moan from his chest – that was not an image he would soon forget. Reaching down between them, hands shaking with want, he grabbed his aching cock and slipped easily between her wet folds, wasting no time in burying himself inside of her as deeply as he could.
“Fuck.” He was immediately dizzy with overwhelming sensation. He stilled to give himself a moment, vaguely aware that she was wrapping her strong legs around his hips in welcoming as she lay moaning her approval below him. She was so wet, so very tight and warm that it made his balls tense tighter in anticipation and he hadn’t even moved yet.
“Kaidan.” Shepard was restless beneath him, kissing him desperately, to which he eagerly reciprocated, the hunger present before their joining now revving to a level of damn near starvation. “Please.”
He acquiesced, still swimming in a haze of pleasure, removing himself from her warmth only to slam his hips back into hers. And again, only harder, and again –
“Fuck, Jane, you feel incredible.” He groaned loudly through gritted teeth, resting his weight on his forearms, his head buried in the nape of her neck. She was so welcoming in every way – her back arched up eagerly into his chest with each hard thrust, legs wrapped tight around his hips, moaning and panting her appreciation under him with vocalizations about how good he felt, how big, how deep, and fuck yes, keep going, just like that –
And her, her body; he was going to come undone if he wasn’t careful. Her walls were gripping his rock-hard cock, so wet he could hear the sound of their skin slapping together with every pump of his hips. A knot of pleasure was building at the base of his spine, the pressure increasing with every thrust into her tight core.
Was this really happening? Kaidan was a mess of sensation and feeling but the tiniest part of his brain was keenly aware that this was potentially borrowed time, that tomorrow might be the end, and he was lucky enough to be able to spend this time making love to the one woman who’d absolutely enraptured his heart from the moment he’d met her.
Fucking her relentlessly might be a better description, he thought wryly. Jane was crying out his name eagerly, moaning her appreciation and asking for more, both of them feeding off the desperation and heady rush of this situation.
He couldn’t get enough. Evidently, neither could she.
The sound of her enjoying herself beneath him was ecstasy in and of itself. He couldn’t help it; Kaidan squeezed his eyes shut as though trying to stop it but a ripple of blue licked over his skin as he pounded into her.
Shepard gasped as the cool energy rolled over her as well, causing him to still over top of her on shaky arms.
Looking into her eyes he suddenly felt rather foolish – she probably wasn’t aware of certain biotic side-effects this close to orgasm, but he needn’t have worried. As though sensing what was happening, she swung them over and positioned herself atop of him, grabbing his hands and placing them over her breasts.
And she proceeded to bounce in his lap.
“Shepard, you –” His words turned to a moan as he palmed at her breasts, enjoying the way they swung in his hands with every upward motion of her hips before sliding down to grip at the feminine curve of her tiny waist. Her motions were steady and thorough, but slower than the brutal pace he’d set before, allowing him a moment to catch his bearings. “God, you’re beautiful. You’re so fucking beautiful.”
She smiled devilishly from above him, her own hands using his chest for leverage as she rode him as deeply as she was able, allowing unfettered moans of pleasure to pour from her kiss-swollen lips.
“Kaidan, I –” Her eyes were roving over him hungrily, and she licked her lips as she searched over the broad expanse of his chest. Arching her back, continuing to drop eagerly into his lap, one of her hands began to rub herself expertly over her clitoris. A warm flush started to spread across the tops of her breasts. “I have wanted this for so long. I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Her moaning words shot right to his already impossibly hard cock. There was no way he would hold out much longer.
“God, me too. Me too.” His fingers tightened around her waist. What a view. Her full breasts bouncing with every drop of her hips, the ravenous look she was giving him, the sight of his thick erection disappearing into her folds in tune with her satisfied moans. She was all lean muscle and feminine curves, and watching her enjoy herself upon him was putting his body into overdrive. He needed to see her come again. “So long, Jane. Damnit, get over here.”
One large hand reached behind her back to pull her down onto his chest, meeting her lips once more. The other gripped once more over the tantalizing curve of her ass; shifting slightly, he raised his knees and began to thrust in earnest.
She gasped at the change in position, that warm flush immediately starting to spread farther along her skin.
“Just like that, Kaidan. I’m so close.” She was moaning in earnest now, clutching at his hair desperately. “You fuck me so good.”
Her words were undoing whatever control he was trying to contain within himself. He wrapped her tightly in his arms, pumping himself into her at a steady pace that had her brokenly crying out his name in encouragement.
Yes, fuck, harder, so good, please, Kaidan, Kaidan, Kaidan –
His balls felt so tight, her warm wet center was beckoning his throbbing cock. He was clenching his teeth so hard his jaw was beginning to hurt. He was trying his best to push through the haze of pleasure, determined to have her orgasm once more in his arms – but it was too good. With a loud groan, another ripple of blue danced over their skin before he could help himself.
And she came undone.
She suddenly squeezed herself unbelievably tight around him, her walls gripping his erection invitingly as her entire body went taut. Shaking in his arms, she sobbed out as her orgasm took over her. That was all it took to have him slip; he thrust into her once, twice, pressing deeply into her up to his balls. He cried out in disbelief as the unbearable tension that had formed deep in his belly finally unwound itself.
He flared – bright, snakelike tendrils of mass effect fields licking over their skin as he emptied himself with a deep groan. The pleasure that erupted from his groin made his vision blur. He lay there, gripping her tightly, pulsing into her warmth, an absolute mess of sensation trying to desperately catch his breath.
It was several long moments later before he realized her hands were running themselves soothingly over his face. Cracking open his eyes, breathing deeply to settle his pounding heart, his gaze met her own.
She was looking down at him with flushed cheeks, a warm smile, and the softest eyes he’d ever seen.
“Hey there.” She said demurely.
“Hey there.” He mimicked her words with a gravelly voice, his own hands releasing the vice grip he’d had on her skin to instead run lightly over her back. He shook his head, trying to come down from the incredible high. “Sorry about the, ah – well. There wasn’t exactly a good time to warn you about that in our everyday conversations.”
“What, your biotic bed tricks?” She laughed with disbelief. “I dunno. I think I would have very much enjoyed starting my day off with that bit of information.”
“Sure. That, or, I’d have Alliance brass on me for sexually harassing my CO.” He smirked, gazing over her face timidly. “You really didn’t mind?”
“Are you kidding? That felt amazing.” She kissed him, hard, as though trying to reassure him with her touch. “Seriously, Kaidan. To be honest –”
“ – that is the theme of tonight.”
“– I think I liked it a little too much. We may have to try that again just to be sure.”
He laughed at that, pulling her back down into his arms in embrace. “Thank you, Jane.”
“I’m pretty sure I should be thanking you after what you just did to my body, Alenko.”
“Hmm, and I’m glad. And I’d very much like the chance to do that again – you know, and maybe make love to you like a proper gentleman next time instead of a riled up marine –”
“I very much enjoyed this version of Kaidan letting loose, for the record. It was ah, pretty hot, actually. But I’m sure you’ll blow my mind any way you take me.”
Despite feeling completely drained, her words still managed to stir a familiar tingling down his spine. “Jane.”
“Sorry.” Her catlike-smile was anything but apologetic, yet her eyes softened at his words.
“But, I mean it. You just – you always make me feel so…normal.”
She nuzzled her nose against his, silent for a moment. Thinking.
“Kaidan, believe me – you are anything but normal. And that is precisely why you are so very special to me.”
He hugged her tighter, feeling his stomach flip at her words – he suddenly felt the most normal, the most accepted, he had ever felt in his life. His heart felt as though it was too high in his chest, his emotions in disarray. She always had a way of leaving him at a loss for words. He still had so much he wanted to say, and yet – he didn’t know if he should. Not when they had just had such an incredible night. Not with tomorrow looming overhead.
His thoughts were circling in his head, his eyes beginning to droop.
Jane stirred above him, raising her head to look at him with equally sleepy eyes. Wordlessly, she smiled at him, easing herself off of him with gentle care. Evidently she was tired, too. Kaidan didn’t say a word as she nimbly tiptoed to grab a wet cloth from her bathroom, his tongue once more feeling too heavy in his mouth. For once, maybe he should simply appreciate the moment for what it was without needing to overanalyze it.
She returned with a soft smile, turning the lights off as her lithe frame knelt beside him to kiss him sweetly. Gently, she wiped the damp fabric over the tops of his thighs, through his patch of curls, cupping his now-soft member to remove the sticky remains of their activities. The thoughtful gesture made his heart clench with an emotion he couldn’t place.
He eagerly reciprocated, helping her lay back into the depths of her pillows where he ran the cloth between her own legs, wiping neatly between her folds. Depositing the now-soiled rag onto the floor, Kaidan grasped her duvet, bringing it up to cocoon her in its warmth. She tugged on his arm in silent invitation and he sidled himself as close to her as he could, a broad smile overtaking his features when she promptly burrowed herself into his chest.
He couldn’t resist leaning down to place one last gentle kiss over her forehead. It elicited a contented sigh from her, her warm breath tickling the soft hair along his chest as her muscles relaxed in his arms.
Wrapping himself around her smaller frame, Kaidan closed his eyes and allowed his satiated body to lull him into an easy sleep.
/////
Eleven minutes.
Shepard’s omni-tool showed their trajectory to Ilos, the time ticking down in the corner of her display. She should have woken Kaidan by now, but –
He stirred lightly, turning his head to unknowingly face where she leant, fully dressed, against her desk. He was still sound asleep. The dark circles that had plagued under his eyes ever since Virmire seemed to have finally dissipated, she noticed.
No, she couldn’t bring herself to wake him. Not yet. Over thirty minutes had gone by and she still didn’t have the heart.
She didn’t want this moment to end.
He was so handsome, she thought to herself. He really was; with his dark brows, that sharp nose and angled jaw, his olive skin smooth over the toned body of a battle-hardened marine. Shepard wanted nothing more than to strip off her BDUs, crawl back under those sheets, and bury herself back into the warm safety of his arms.
She felt so at peace with him. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d ever felt that way about anyone, if ever. Being in his arms had felt like coming home, and she really wasn’t sure what to make of that thought.
God, and the way he’d kissed her – hell the way he’d looked at her, and the words he had said; both spoken and unspoken. It made her stomach twist in a manner she’d never felt before. Kaidan had paid homage to her in a manner she’d never experienced. He had played her body like a well-known instrument, the passion and intensity in his movements belying the emotional depth of how he felt for her.
And that kiss he’d placed on her forehead, just before they fell asleep – it had been so incredibly tender, as though she were the most precious thing to him.
She’d spoken honestly. Kaidan Alenko really was special.
Nine minutes and thirty-two seconds.
He stirred again, his brow furrowing as a hand came up to rub at his eyes. Blearily, he looked around the room, a look of confusion sliding over his handsome face before taking in a sharp breath.
“Commander – Jane.”
“Hi.” She smiled warmly at him, not shy to appreciate the flex of his abdominals as he shifted himself to sit up. “I hope I didn’t scare you.”
“No, not at all. Just – wasn’t sure if this was a dream or not.” His voice was gravelly with sleep but he returned her smile eagerly.
“Definitely not.”
“Hm, I’m glad.” Taking in her state of dress, he frowned slightly. “What time…”
“Sorry. I – well, I should have woken you sooner. I just…” She sighed, shifting on her feet. “Didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”
“I admit that was the best sleep I think I’ve had in months.” He chuckled, gazing up at her with an appreciative look in his eye. “But something tells me I won’t have time for a shower. Not that I’m complaining, by the way.”
“Of course not.” Smirking, she glanced back down at her tool. “But you’re unfortunately right. We’re currently…seven minutes out to the relay. I’m sure Joker will call for me soon.”
“Hmm.” He nodded, a look of sadness flitting over his face. They were both quiet for a long moment, merely looking at one another in comfortable silence.
“Listen, Kaidan, I –”
“Shepard –”
They both smirked, and Kaidan placed his hands behind his head, a grin overtaking his features. He nodded at her, allowing her to continue.
“Sorry, again. For not waking you. I just…yesterday was the happiest I’ve felt in a long time. I guess I didn’t want that to end.”
His eyes, if possible, brightened even more at her words. The faintest hint of color shaded his cheeks.
“It’s no problem, really.”
“You also looked pretty cute in your sleep there, soldier.”
“I’ll be sure to add that one to my file.” He laughed at that, reaching a hand out to her in invitation. She took it, sliding her palm into his and sitting at the edge of the bed. “Yesterday was special to me, too. It’s been a long time since I…well, since I felt this way about anyone.”
“I’m glad you decided to come by.” She teased.
He reached his other hand out, cupping her cheek in his fingers as though not sure she was real.
“I don’t want this to end either, Jane.”
His voice was husky with emotion, and she didn’t miss the double entendre presented in his words. The slightest tension in his hands was enough for her to understand what he asked, and she leant forward dutifully, meeting his lips with her own.
“Bridge to Commander Shepard. We’re five minutes out to the Mu Relay.”
She opened her eyes, her lips still on his.
“On my way, Joker.” She said a second later, resolute. In understanding, Kaidan smiled at her with a brief nod. Standing, she made her way to the door, looking back at him for the briefest of moments before it slid shut behind her. The image of him nestled amid her bedsheets, gazing at her with a contemplative myriad of emotions on his handsome face, made her smile back.
She had a lot to fight for today.