Chapter Text
Shikaku let a tired sigh slip from his lips before he reached for the door and pushed it open. The scent of fresh herbs overwhelmed him as he stepped outside on the porch of the house, coming face to face with an old man who sat patiently on the floor cushion with a shougi board carefully placed in front of him.
“Ah, Shikaku,” the old man spoke hoarsely, “you’re here.”
“You called for me, grandfather?” Shikaku asked, waiting to be given further information about the impromptu meeting the clan head had scheduled over a shougi game.
“Sit, let’s play.” The grey man gestured to the empty spot on the other side of the board, and Shikaku silently followed the instruction. His grandfather was a man who liked to do things in a specific way, and while Shikaku would’ve preferred to be addressed directly on whatever the matter had been on the agenda today, the elder Nara preferred a different approach – one that required more patience than Shikaku had to offer.
Nevertheless, he seated himself across from the man who, as others claim, used to be his exact image when he was a young man; he moved the first piece.
“Have you any idea as to why I have summoned you here today?”
Click. Nara clan head moved his piece.
“Not in the slightest, but I presume it’s important, given your mannerisms, tone, and general stiff behavior.”
Click.
“Ah yes, it’s of great importance indeed,” the man said, and Shikaku lifted his eyes up from the board to look at his grandfather, “I’m not getting any younger, boy; the time has come for me to step down as the clan head, and allow my heir – you, to step in.”
Click.
Shikaku remained silent. He didn’t really have a reply; he knew the time would come sooner rather than later, and he had been prepared. His grandfather had taught him everything he knew, practically raised him as a parent after his mother and father had lost their lives as shinobi. Shikaku’s mother used to be the head of the clan before her untimely death and given that, at that time, he had been just a boy, her father – Shikaku’s grandfather had to reclaim this position. Over the years, it started to seem like the old man had grown attached to the title and wouldn’t let it go again before he died. Not that Shikaku was in a rush to take over; he liked his life as it is.
Click.
“I have raised you, and I know that you are more than capable and more than ready to take over.”
Click.
“If you think so, grandfather, then it must be true. It will be my honor to lead our clan. I won’t let you down.”
Click.
“You won’t. But you see, there is still one issue that remains.”
Click.
“Which is?”
Click.
“Shikaku, I have stayed silent for a long time now, letting you have your bachelor fun. But as you are about to take my place, it is time to settle down.”
Click.
“You want me to marry?” Shikaku looked his grandfather in the eyes after a while, still trying to process the words. The idea of marriage was far too troublesome for him to even consider up until now. Besides, he clearly hasn’t met the right woman yet. Hell, he wasn’t even trying. Sure, he’s had a couple of relationships, but none that stuck. His interest in the fairer sex had always been of an expandable nature.
Click.
“Precisely. The clan head must have an heir.”
Click.
“I don’t even have a girlfriend right now. I mean, I’m–” he paused briefly looking for the right word to explain his latest string of one-night stands, “I’m dating, but I haven’t been seriously pursuing anyone.”
Click.
“I’m well aware of your escapades, and trust me I don’t want any of those women as the clan matriarch. I have arranged a marriage for you.”
Click. Checkmate.
"So, let me get this straight," Inoichi said as he put his sake cup down on the table. "In order to become the Nara clan head, you are forced to be married first?"
"Yes."
"And you can't marry someone of your own choosing, so it will be an arranged marriage with a woman who, as far as you know, might not even be attractive to you or vice-versa?"
"Yes."
"Fucking hell."
"Language." Chouza elbowed the blonde in the gut. "This is a family restaurant and there’s kids around."
Inoichi just stared at Chouza as if he were the one saying something inappropriate and quite frankly, a bit like he had just seen a ghost.
"I'm sorry, but did you not follow this conversation?" Inoichi hissed, leaning over the table.
"I have, yes.” Chouza dully replied.
“Then you know what this means for us. For all of us.” Inoichi argued, his tone of voice going slightly higher.
By deciding to appoint Shikaku as the Nara clan head, his grandfather had essentially put pressure on the other two clans to pick up the pace. If the Nara clan head produces an heir, there must also be a Yamanaka and an Akimichi heir to form the sixteenth generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio. All three heirs are meant to be born withing a year of each other, with some exceptions to apply. Shikaku never bothered to learn more about the exact ‘rules’ of this particular tradition. It was troublesome.
Chouza had it easy, he was in a committed relationship, and the only one of the three men to express an actual interest in settling down. Shikaku suspected the only reason he didn’t pop the question yet was because he didn’t want to put him and Inoichi in an uncomfortable situation; one that he has put them in just now.
“Look, guys, I’m sorry,” Shikaku finally spoke, “I’ll try to stall this as much as I can, but you both know my grandfather.”
"Well," Chouza said, "I think I’ll propose to my girlfriend tonight then."
"I'm sorry, what?" Inoichi said and Shikaku could swear that he saw blonde's eye start to twitch.
"You said it first, Yamanaka. This is where we are all headed. We either get married to someone we pick or they will pick someone for us. And I'm really not liking the second option."
"So you assholes are telling me I'm on my own now?"
"Since when did you become so codependent?" Shikaku teased, his left eyebrow shot upwards. "And Chouza, congrats man, that's great news."
"So," Inoichi began after taking a few deep breaths and by the looks of it, calming down, "when do you meet her?"
“It will be a week from now when I meet my grandfather’s first candidate,” he felt sick just saying that word.
Traditionally, he’s supposed to meet with three girls of his family’s choosing, and see which one he’d hit it off with best. He prayed to make at least some semblance of a connection with at least one of said girls.
It had been a week since his grandfather had dropped the news of an arranged marriage on him. Shikaku had tried to argue to his advantage, but reality sank in that he was probably never going to meet a woman who he’d be interested in marrying, so he had come to peace with the fact that it may as well be some woman his grandfather saw fit – one whose abilities and traits will enhance the Nara bloodline.
As much as he liked and enjoyed his single life, he was never opposed to marrying. He just never met a girl who seemed worth the trouble. Shikaku wasn’t an unreasonable man, he knew that this responsibility could not be avoided. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to avoid it completely. Secretly, he held on to hope that this wouldn’t be a complete disaster. Such a romantic.
He hadn’t hoped for any type of a princess-looking woman, he knew his grandfather and he had hoped he still had the good sense to at least find someone who isn’t too ugly. Still, he had to wonder what kind of a woman would need her marriage arranged in this modern day in age. His biggest fear had been that she’d be dull. Beauty fades, but he does not have it in him to fake conversations for the rest of his life.
The only thing that bothered him is that his best friend will have to do the same arranged marriage thing as him, and he knew that Inoichi does not take family ‘orders’ well.
Shikaku sat in the salon of the Nara manor, staring down at his hands. His fidgeting fingers were relentless and, against all odds, he was nervous. He glanced at the clock; it was eight o’clock sharp, and just on schedule – he heard a doorbell. Promptly, he jumped up to his feet.
"Ah, they are here." His grandfather smiled, and stood up to get to the door ever so patiently. "You know the customs, boy. Stand here and wait for us to come in with your future bride."
Shikaku did as he was told. He stared at his feet, listening to the decaying sounds of slow footsteps, hoping that he would miraculously connect with the first woman he’ll meet just so he doesn’t have to go through this again tomorrow. He heard the door open and suddenly there was a murmur of voices in the hall growing closer to him with each second.
"Shikaku," a familiar voice announced and his head shot straight up to the owner of the voice. His grandfather stood next to an older man he recognized from somewhere, and behind them he could clearly see a much smaller shape in hiding. The two men moved aside to allow the girl to come into view. "I present to you, Yoshino."
He looked at the girl instantly. She was easy on the eyes. She smiled at him politely, but forcibly, and realization hit him – he knew her.
"Yoshino, as in-"
"As in Yoshino who you grew up with. Yes." She cut him off and finished the sentence for him.
He remembers her all too well. She spelled trouble. Annoyingly stubborn and difficult. Opinionated as all hell and always had to have the last word. She did grow up into a beautiful woman, though. He wasn't yet certain what to think of it, but one thing was sure - he wasn't disappointed.
Shikaku approached her slowly, as the custom dictated, reaching for her extended hand, and placed a gentle kiss on the knuckles of her slender fingers. Her skin was soft and warm and smelled like some sort of fruit – he wasn’t sure which one exactly.
"It's a pleasure to see you again, Yoshino-san." He said, eyes slowly rising to look at her face. She said nothing and offered only a smile in return.
“You surely remember her father.” The elder Nara cut in, prompting Shikaku to shake hands with the gentleman in question. “Right, so we shall leave you two to get reacquainted while we discuss some arrangement matters.”
Shikaku stood in silence, politely smiling at the two men leaving the room., his chest up high and hands stuck on his back. The girl– Yoshino, stood with the same attitude, only her hands were neatly folded in front of her. His eyes dropped on hers as soon as they were left alone.
“So, Yoshino, long time no see.” He began awkwardly, not really sure how to start the conversation considering the pressure it carried. “It’s been, what, around five years?”
“It’s for the best, surely.” She replied sharply, and he cocked his eyebrow, unsure of the intention, but he decided to just move on as she was probably just embarrassed about the whole thing. To be quite honest, he was too. He gestured her to head towards the garden terrace, and she obliged.
Against his better judgement, he dropped his eyes down to her ass for a second before shooting them straight up again. Settle down Casanova, this is not a one-night stand, you might marry this woman, he reminded himself, urging him to behave.
As soon as he stepped outside and the fresh air of a late April night hit his face, he felt a bit calmer.
“These are lovely hydrangeas you have here, my favorite.” She complimented. They were his mother’s favorite too, and by extension – his as well.
“Thank you,” he smiled genuinely. “So tell me, what do you do for a living, Yoshino?” He thought he sounded like an utter moron, repeating her name in every single sentence directed at her, as if he could possibly be asking anyone else with just the two of them present.
“If you must know, Shikaku, I’m a kunoichi.”
“That’s interesting, I didn’t expect that.” He said. Her hands were way too soft for him to even think she could still be an active combat kunoichi.
“Typical.”
Shikaku frowned. Now he was certain that she said it with malice.
“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I’m sensing a bit of hostility here,” he decided to address it sooner rather than later, “have I done something to offend you since you arrived?”
It’s not like he was too happy about the situation at hand, but at least he was being civil about it.
“Since I arrived, no. You’ve however done a great deal to offend me in the previous years.” She said firmly, arms crossing in front of her chest.
He frowned and stared intently into her eyes, evidently oblivious about what the hell she’s talking about. If he had done anything to offend her, he clearly did not remember it in the slightest.
“Of course, you don’t even remember.” She laughed bitterly, and he just stood there like a zombie, waiting for the explanation. “You’re sexist and arrogant, you constantly talked over me and underestimated me in every possible way, and not to mention that you slept with half the damn village. That’s just tip of the iceberg.”
Shikaku was rendered speechless. Never had he heard a more incorrect description of himself. But even if he did give her the first two, how on earth is the history of his sex life even relevant here right now?
“Ok, Yoshino, to be quite frank it’s not like you’re a piece of cake either, you’re the most troublesome woman I’ve ever met. But at least I’m trying to be civil to you right now for the sake of our families.”
“Let me be clear, Shikaku. I have no interest in marrying you or being your little trophy wife. So as far as I’m concerned you don’t need to waste your breath on me, I already know you’re an asshole.”
“Funny, I always thought trophy wives were supposed to be exceptionally beautiful, not to mention compliant, which you are clearly far from.” He fired back with poison and he saw bloody murder in her eyes, her fist clenching. He expected to be hit, but she seemed to have her impulses in check.
“Oh, you want compliant. How uniquely predictable of you.”
He had no idea why he said it; there was nothing he found attractive about a woman, or any person in general, who was submissive. She was so quick to judge him. If she would bother to talk to him she’d learn that he found nothing sexier than a confident woman who held her own, and was possibly, maybe sometimes willing to yield it in a power exchange in intimate situations. This woman was too infuriating for his taste though. “Since you’ve already made up your mind about me, we might as well go tell them that there will be no deal here.”
“Finally, something we agree on.” She said through her clenched teeth and flashed him the fakest smile he ever thought possible.
Just like something from a movie, his grandfather showed up in the precise moment they started marching inside.
“Speak of the devil,” she announced, not caring less about politeness.
“Everything is going well here I hope?” The old man said.
“Grandpa, I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to work,” Shikaku said, “we are polar opposites, and there is just no chemistry.”
“You’ll have the rest of your life to sort that out. But I’m afraid this arrangement is as old as the both of you.”
For a moment there Shikaku was certain he had just hallucinated. “Come again?” he demanded, tilting his head slightly to the right as if it would help him hear better. The woman beside him did not say a word, but he could sense the tension rise from her as well.
“You heard me boy.” The elder Nara persisted calmly.
“I’m sorry but doesn’t the “tradition” you so often mention dictate that my family is supposed to find three possible matches?”
“Not unless there’s an arrangement from the day you were born. This union has been over twenty years in the making. Now enough of this Shikaku, you are insulting your future bride.” His grandfather’s voice had turned stern and irritated.
“Twenty years? And nobody thought to tell me about it until now?” He yelled. He was actually yelling now. He swore he heard a vague “This is bullshit,” from Yoshino.
“Say the words, Shikaku.” Grandfather demanded with a voice so eerily flat and calm that it sent chills down Shikaku’s spine.
He stared at his grandfather, furious with rage. He felt manipulated and betrayed. He straightened his back, and lifted his chin parallel to the ground before turning to face the woman next to him. She was red in the face, and her eyes were watery, but she remained uncharacteristically silent. He noticed her lower lip tremble slightly. She clearly disliked this more than he ever did.
With eyes full of sadness, he gave her a look as if to apologize, as he once again took her hand in his, brought it up to his lips and kissed it as it trembled beneath his lips.
“It’s my solemn pleasure and my greatest honor to court you, Yoshino-san.”