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I enter my apartment and see my little sister playing Mario Carts with her friends. A bunch of little brats if you ask me. I say loudly. "Hello Damara. How was work." My sister asks. Her voice cracks. She knows what I say. But she always acts like she doesn't. "FINE. REMEMBER FRIENDS GONE BY NINE." I say. "Alright." She smiles slightly. I walk to my room. And then I listen. "ARADIA YOUR SISTER IS SO FUCKING WEIRD. " One of her friends say. I whisper. "Come on KK you know the inthufferable hath a thing for Damara. Thhe could be your thithter in law tho be nice." The one with the lisp says. "Kankri and Damara. That sounds fishy. Are you a Leijon in a costume?" The tuna friend says. I stop listening and close my door fully. Little brats. They are so annoying. I slip off my clothes and slip into my bed. I clap to turn off my lights. Between school, work and taking care of Radi I need my sleep.
When I go out of my room in the morning I find four people on my couch. Sweater is snuggling tuna and lispy is upside down. Radi is holding her toy ram. She is so cute. My little baby Radi. I pat her head. Her eyes open a little. "Sorry about them. We cool. " She says sleepily."GET THEM UP. SCHOOL TIME. " I say. "Karkat I have your diary." She says. "ARADIA IF YOU READ IT I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU." Sweater yells as I walk to the kitchen. The other two goan and Aradia say school time. I grab my phone off the counter. Looks like someone called me last night. And looks like they left a message. "Damara have you seen Karkat? He didn't come home last night and I know his friends with Aradia. And dis-" I delete the message. Then I call him. "Hello Damara. Why are you calling? Are you okay? Did you see Karkat?" He asks as soon as he picks up. "HE SPENT NIGHT WITH RADIA. SOLLUX. FEFERI. ALL GOOD NO SEX SO YOU NO WORRY OKAY NOW BYE FOOD IS DONE." I say, hanging up on him. Dumb Kankri. He worries when there is no need. But he is sweet. "Hey Damara, what food do have here? " Feferi asks as she enters the kitchen. "THERE PANCAKE MIX. CEREAL AND OATMEAL." I say. " Thank you." She says. I nod.
Lunch is my least favorite time. Since I have no friends except for Kankri, Cronus and Porrim, I'm normally alone. "Damara! Excuse me Damara. Sorry if I trigger you but why don't you eat in the cafeteria today. Or maybe let me join you?" Kankri comes up and asks. "FINE COME VIRGIN BOY." I say. "You know that name is highly triggering and you of all people know it's not true." He says. I roll my eyes as I pull him into the stairwell that goes to the roof. Then I kiss him. Kankri kisses back and squeezes my tits. I love him so much and I love our acting. His hands shakily go to the waist of my skirt and pulls it down a little. I smirk into our kiss and my hands go up into his sweater. He shivers when I rub his nipples. Kankri reaches into my panties and fingers me. I push him against the wall. I moan into his mouth when he pinches my sensitive area. Then he pulls away. I fix my skirt. "No sex public. Triggers. Someone may see." I say. "Yes. Sorry but don't worry I have the night off tonight. Maybe we can meet up later?" He says. "Ten. My place. Radi go to Feferi's tonight." I wink at him. Kankri leans down and kisses my forehead. "Now let's go get lunch." Kankri says smiling. I nod. Then he begins to preach about how inappropriate my antisocial acts are and that I need to wear a less showy skirt. I walk beside him in silence and with an annoyed expression. I wonder how his mouth can talk so much and not dry out. "Oh Ms.Megido!I've been looking for you. Your mom is calling." A teacher comes up to us. "OK BYE VIRGIN BOY. " I say. "Ms.Megido. You know name calling is very rude." Thew teacher says. I roll my eyes and follow her to the office. Radi is already there on the phone. She's smiling. Radi says something and hands me the phone. I say. "I'm coming home soon." Mom cheers. "THAT GOOD. SO VERY GOOD. " I say. Finally she'll be home and I don't have to raise Radi. Like I have been for the last six years. "THANK GOD. I MISSED YOU." I say. "I missed you too. Now I have to go sorry. I call you to come and pick me up on Friday. Bring Aradia." She says before hanging up. I nod. Friday is the day after tomorrow. "Damara! You talked so well there." Aradia says. I nod. I hate my mother. She may seem nice and loving but its all a lie. My stepfather would do bad things to me and she would just sit there and laugh. And on top of that she was high all the time. And then one day they both take off. Cops found them in a crack house a year later. My mother hit a cop and threw a rock at another. And he shot a cop. No one knew where we were or that we were eight and twelve. Aradia doesn't know the whole story and she never will.
I light a cigarette. Tears run down my face. I hate the world. And the world hates me. Why do my mother and him have to get out of jail? They are monsters that deserve to rot in a dark hole. I hear my apartment door open. "Damara! Get that thing out of your mouth!" Someone yells. Kankri. I shake my head but he grabs it. His eyes tear up from the pain as he throws the cigarette away. "You are going to be okay. It triggers me seeing you like this." Kankri hugs me tightly. I am so fucked up in the head. How can he even love me? "GIVE BACK KANKRI. NEED IT. MY MOM IS GETTING OUT OF JAIL. FRIDAY." I say. "Damara you still shouldn't smoke. You want to be in perfect health in case she tries to get custody of Aradia. You just got it and now you can protect her from your mother. And her father in case he gets out too. Smoking is bad for you for more then your health, you might indanger Aradia. And I know you would never do that willingly. Remember you two lived with my family for a year. Then with Porrim then Cronus. Meenah even let you guys stay with her for a little while. Also Meulin and Latula helped. All because you didn't want Aradia to be homeless. You got three jobs at fourteen and saved up until you could take of yourself and Aradia. You are a good person and if you got lung cancer because you smoked then Aradia will be broke. You are like a mother to her. " He rants. "YOU RIGHT. SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU." I say, burying my face into his sweater. "I love you too." Kankri says. " SORRY ME FORGOT YOU COME." I say. "It's alright. I'm not trigger at all." Kankri lifts my face up and kisses me. I pull away. " GO FUCK NOW MY ROOM." I say. I pull Kankri towards my room.