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Chapter Text

It was overwhelming. The tourney, the castle, the people, everything. Brandon was worst of all, there was no end to his bragging in sight. He would win the joust, he said to all who would listen, he would unhorse Ser Barristan Selmy, Ser Arthur Dayne, he would unhorse Prince Rhaegar himself. And after all that he would crown his betrothed the queen of love and beauty. All that was not unlike Brandon, Ned no longer paid it any mind. What he found strange was that his brother wasn't talking to his betrothed about it, but to what seemed like everyone but her. Why talk to them when he had his betrothed there? Why not tell her about how she would be queen of love and beauty before the tourney was at end?

Brandon had introduced her to them earlier that day. They had barely had time to exchange a word before Brandon had pulled her away to talk to someone else. But in that short time Ned had decided that he liked Catelyn Tully. She seemed sweet, always with a smile on her face, always engaged in conversation with someone. And she was beautiful. Bright blue eyes and hair like dark copper. Ned had caught himself thinking about how it would feel to touch it, but had quickly waved the inappropriate thought away. What had flown into him?
Ned sat with Howland at a table. Benjen and Lyanna had long since disappeared, he wished he knew where they were. He had not seen them since Lyanna wept for Rhaegar Targaryen's song, and poured wine over Benjen after he taunted her for it. Robert had disappeared some hours ago, not to return, after having competed in a drinking contest against Richard Lonmouth. He had won, Robert always won drinking contest, though he had been quite affected by it. That truly said something about the amount of liqour they had consumed.

The hours seemed to pass so insufferably slowly. Lyanna had complained about that she thought it went too fast, that she didn't want to return to Winterfell so soon. Despite that the tourney had barely began, they had only arrived the day before. Ned already dreamed of the day when he would see Winterfell's grey walls again. Though he had been dreaming of that for many years, his home was in the Eyrie.

"She looks sweet" Howland said quietly.

He had only met Howland Reed for the first time that day, as well, Lyanna had introduced them. The Reeds rarely left the neck, and Ned was glad to meet the son of one of his father's bannermen for the first time. He was even gladder to have found what could be a friend.

"Who?" Ned asked, looking up at all the people dancing in the hall.

It was impossible to tell who he was talking about, there were many ladies in there. And many of them looked very sweet.

"Lady Ashara."

Ashara Dayne certainly was beautiful. With her laughing purple eyes and her shining smile. And she was a wonderful dancer, she moved with a grace and elegance most ladies could only dream of. She was kind, as well, Ned had heard. Though he had not spoken to her.

What would it be like to dance with her? What would it be like to have her close? Ned allowed himself those thoughts, didn't wave them away. He would never dance with her, because why would she want to dance with him? And no one could know what was on his mind. It was without danger.

"As you give me no answer I will presume you agree" Howland snorted.

"I–uhm... well, yes. She looks sweet, I suppose."

"She does not have a betrothed, does she?" Howland continued.

"I am not the one you should ask about that."

He could not claim to have great knowledge of politics in Dorne, or the south as a whole, really. It was limited, to say the least. Those were Brandon's things to know, he would be Lord of Winterfell while Ned would be... something else. He had little idea of what was ahead of him. A keep somewhere in the north, land for him to protect for Brandon. A wife, perhaps children. Though he had trouble seeing that before him.

As if his thoughts had summoned him, Brandon left some woman he had found and came over to them.

"You should ask her to dance, Ned!" he said.

Brandon could take his ale and wine well, but he seemed to sway a little on his feet. Despite that he had noticed Ned's eyes on the beautiful maid.

"No" Ned simply answered. "I should not."

He was not deserving of her hand in a dance, he was nowhere near skilled enough to match her.

"No one will remember a coward, Eddard."

He was a second son, no one would remember him no matter what he did.

"Did I ever state that I have a desire of being remembered?"

"I cannot believe I have a coward and a fool for a brother!"

Ned wished Brandon had not been speaking with such a loud voice. He would rather have sat there with Howland, unnoticed. He would much rather spend the time in good company.

"I shall ask her for you."

Ned reached to grab his brother's arm so that he would stay where he was, but he was too slow. His fingers grasped empty air and Brandon was approaching Ashara Dayne. He immediately stood up to go after Brandon in an attempt to preserve some of what little dignity he had left, but it was all for nothing. As he came up to them they both turned to look at him. He wouldn't have been unhappy if the ground had opened up beneath him and swallowed him whole. That would have saved him from the dread.

"My lady, I do apologise–" he began, but Brandon gave him a light shove.

"Eddard has had too much to drink, he does not know what he is saying" he chuckled.

Ned was shrinking, he was as small as the mice running through the castle walls.

"I had hoped you would want to dance with me, Eddard" Lady Ashara smiled.

It was all pleasantries from her side, he was sure of that. Although what wasn't when it came to the people attending such tourneys? He might as well return it.

"It gladdens me to hear you say that" he got out.

He held out his hand for her to take, as he had practiced so many times. He hoped she could not tell how fast his heart beat in his chest. Soon the song would be over and then he could draw back into a corner. Perhaps it was late enough for him to retire for the night.

He had been right in that she was a much more skilled dancer than him. But she smiled at him despite his mistakes and missteps. He had not believed himself to be terrible at it, but compared to her he might as well have had two left feet.

"Who do you think will win the joust?" she asked.

He had not expected that question.

"I suppose the correct answer is my brother, although I admit I have more trust in Ser Barristan."

"He has a large mouth, Brandon Stark. Everyone at the tourney must have heard his bragging."

Many seemed to consider that a good quality of his.

"No matter how the joust ends he will talk about it until his tongue falls out."

"That would be a shame" Ashara mused.

Ned had no interest in going further into what she could mean with that. And it was a relief when the song was over and he could politely excuse himself. Lady Ashara Dayne was a fine woman indeed, but Ned was tired. A lot had happened that day, and he could not think of something he wanted more than to sleep so that he could be free from all of it. Even though it was just for a few hours.

He had taken his leave from Howland and was crossing the hall to leave the castle and go to his tent when he felt a hand on his shoulder. When he turned his head he found that it was Catelyn Tully's hand.

"I do not wish to bother you, please forgive me if I have, but I would like to ask you for a dance" she said, quickly removing her hand.

Ned did not let his confusion show, but it was present. Was it a jape? Had Brandon told her to? He could find no trace of that on her face. She wasn't smiling, there was just genuine curiosity there.

"You want a dance?" he asked. "With me?"

He had seen her dance, she danced very well. He could do without that humiliation again. Though he did not have much choice, refusing her could be considered an insult.

"Well, yes, we have not had much time to talk."

It was hard to believe she would be his sister. She would come to Winterfell once she was Brandon's wife. She would have his name. Catelyn Stark. It did not sound terrible. He was not opposed to sharing a name with her.

"Then may I suggest we talk over a cup of wine instead?" Ned said. "I confess I am not the best of dancers."

That made her smile, and what a radiant smile it was. She was beautiful, glowing.

"I do not care for your skill, I just believe it would be pleasant to know my good brother a little better. Brandon has said so much, but I would like to hear something from you."

Disappointing her was the last thing he wanted to do, there was few things he would have been able to refuse her when she smiled like that.

"Dancing with you would be a pleasure, my lady" Ned found himself saying.

"The pleasure is all mine."

He offered her his arms and led her out for a dance. It went smoother that time than it had with Ashara, and Catelyn could balance up his mistakes. Even when he stepped on her foot she simply waved it off, claiming that she did not care for it.

"Will you take me up on your offer of a cup of wine, my lord?" Catelyn asked when the song had ended.

That was immediately followed by her eyes going wide and her raising a hand to cover her mouth.

"Do forgive me, I am acting quite unrestrained" she apologised. "I admit I have had some wine already."

"There is no need to apologise" Ned said. "And I would gladly have a cup of wine with you."

Her cheeks were a little rosy when she lowered her hand.

"I hope I am not keeping you from something important."

Ned felt somewhat pathetic.

"I assure you of that you're not."

They managed to find a table to sit at that was not already crowded by others. A servant brought them two cups and a flagon.

"Is it terribly cold in the north?" she asked.

"That depends on who you ask."

"I ask you."

"It's cold, but not terribly cold. Most of the time, at least."

She hid her smile behind her cup, though above it her eyes were sparkling.

"If that is so I might live, after all."

He returned that smile.

"I am sure you will live a long and prosperous life in Winterfell."

The kept on talking. First of Winterfell and the north, then of Riverrun. Ned had never visited there, but Catelyn could describe it so vividly that he could see it before his eyes. She talked of her family, of the lands where she had grown up. And in return Ned told her of the Eyrie, and the Vale.

"I have only heard the stories told of the castle in the sky" she confessed. "i have never seen it with my own eyes."

"I hope one day you do, it is a glorious sight."

He would always remember the first time he had seen the castle's silhouette against a bright blue sky. He had just been a boy, and The Eyrie had seemed almost like a magic castle, like it would take off and fly at any moment. Still that happened in his dreams at times. It was a silly thing, and yet his favourite dream.

"Would you be there to greet me?" Catelyn asked.

"If you wanted me to be, my lady" Ned said.

"I can think of no one at The Eyrie I would rather want to greet me. Though I only know you, of course."

Had she known any other of The Eyrie's inhabitants she most likely would have changed her mind. Ned was never the one people wanted to talk to, he was astonished by that she had talked to him for so long. He was astonished by that he had managed to keep her interested for so long. She was beautiful and eloquent, surely she had others who would give much to speak with her. And yet she sat in a corner of the hall with him, quietly conversing over some wine.

"Had you known other people I think you would be of a different opinion" he told her truthfully.

There was no smile when she gave her reply, only what he interpreted as sincerity. Maybe she just thought him too stupid to understand.

"I struggle to believe that" she said.

He was unsure of how many cups of wine he had downed when Catelyn had to stifle a yawn, but he was sure of that it had helped him converse with her for such a long time. Talking to Catelyn was not exactly easy, but it was not hard either. It had flowed quite well. He would not say he was proud of himself, though there was a warmth in his chest he had not felt in a long time.

"I am growing tired, I fear, I think it is time to retire for the night" Catelyn said.

"I share that sentiment" he said. "The hour is late."

She looked behind him, out over the people in the hall.

"I would like for someone to escort me to my tent, but my betrothed has disappeared, it seems."

Most likely with some woman he had found. Brandon often disappeared with women he found, and he was never shy about telling Ned of it afterwards. Ned had no desire of hearing, though that had never put a stop to Brandon's endless talk. Nothing Ned did or did not want ever mattered. Not even to himself. He had been taught to take orders and follow, that came first.

"It is hard to find someone in such a crowded hall" Ned said, deciding against telling her of Brandon's adventures.

If she wasn't aware he wouldn't be the one to enlighten her.

"You are correct in that, my lord" Catelyn said.

Her eyes swept over all the people a final time before she stood up. She seemed to hesitate about something for a short moment before turning to him once more.

"I hope I do not ask too much of you, but would you follow me? I do not want to walk the castle grounds on my own."

"I assure you, my lady, that is not too much to ask."

He would have already been abed if she had not come to him. He had no reason to stay, and he might as well spend just a little more time with Catelyn. He did not know when they would have time to talk again. It might not be until after she was already wed to Brandon.

"Well, Ned– may I call you Ned?"

Most people did, why not her as well?

"You may call me Ned" he said, standing up.

"Well, Ned, you're kind."

"I would deem it decency" Ned answered truthfully.

He held out his arm, and she took it. Despite being fully clothed he could feel that her hands were still very cold when her long fingers wrapped around his arm

"If you want to call it decency, so be it" she chuckled. "I say you are kind."

Despite the castle being so terribly large, and the castle grounds even larger, Ned barely noticed how long walking from one place to another took. They walked down rows of tents in all imaginable colours, each of them with their own sigil. Had Ned paid attention he would have noticed that there were several sigils he had never seen before, but he didn't even glance at them. He could only notice Catelyn, and the warm feeling inside of him whenever he made her laugh. He wished his wits had been sharper, he wished he had been more like Brandon. Brandon was always so charming.

"Here is my tent" she said when they stopped.

Though her hand lingered on his arm for a little longer. Ned should have been on his way to his own tent by then, but Catelyn had locked eyes with him, and he was unable to look away. The reflection of lanterns hanging outside tents danced in her eyes, made shadows move over her face.

"Sleep well, my lady" he said softly.

"I wish you sweet dreams, my lord."

Her hand was quickly lifted from his arm as if though he had burned her when the tent flap was drawn back and a girl looked at them. She was a bit younger than Catelyn, and she had the same eyes and the same her hair, although hers was a little lighter. Her face was a bit pointier than Catelyn's, still they looked much alike.

"Lysa!" Catelyn exclaimed, smiling. "This is Eddard Stark, my good brother."

Lysa looked at him intently, running her gaze from head to toe. Ned could not help but twist a little, wishing he had left sooner.

"Oh" Lysa Tully said. "Hello."

"Good evening, my lady" Ned replied politely.

Lysa gave Catelyn a look before pulling her into the tent. Catelyn just had time to turn around and give him an apologetic smile before the tent flap closed, and he was on his own. He could hear them talk inside, though he couldn't make out what they were saying to each other. And listening was not at all appropriate.
He turned his steps towards his tent, his mind elsewhere as he walked. It seemed he could not quite grasp it, all the thoughts escaped him before they became clear. Catelyn Tully was a very pleasant person, perhaps she could become a good friend. Of that much he was sure.

~*~

He saw her the next day, at the joust. They did not sit close enough to each other to talk, but once their eyes met. She gave him a smile, and turned her head again before he had time to return it. All through it she urgently whispered with her sister, and occasionally she talked to her younger brother. Little Edmure was only a child, and keeping him occupied between the tilts seemed to have fallen on her. Lord Tully was busy with his men.

A huge wooden gallery had been built out on the open grounds outside Harrenhal's walls for the purpose of the jousting, seating several hundreds of people. It seemed people from all corners of the Seven Kingdoms had come to the festivities. From Last Hearth in The North to Saltshore in Dorne. Ned even saw a man of the Night's Watch walking around, asking for new recruits. He did not seem to be very successful. Small wonder, the Night's Watch was far from what it had been during it's days of glory, and it's reputation had worsened significantly.

"Do you think they will manage to defend to defend their sister?" Lyanna asked when one of Walter Whent's sons rode up to meet a Fossoway knight.

Ned answered by being silent as Whent was easily knocked off his horse by Fossoway.

"Why are you not participating?" Lyanna then continued.

They had already spoken of that half a hundred times. As soon as Brandon had made it known that he would enter the joust Lyanna had started pestering Ned about it. She had sent him letter upon letter, and then when they arrived there it had become even worse.

"I would stand no chance" he told her yet another time.

Jousting had never been his strong part. He could fight with most weapons, but not with exceptional skill. Enough to make a worthy opponent when situation required it. He prayed to the gods for that a situation like that would never appear, but living through his whole life without having to fight a war was unlikely. He despised that.

"That is true, I ride better than you. I could unhorse many of the idiots in this tourney."

Had their lord father been within hearing distance he would have berated her for her language, but as long as he could not hear her Ned did not care. Nothing he said would go into her head anyway.

"I do not doubt if."

Lyanna would probably have carried a sword had Lord Rickard allowed if. She would have loved participating in the joust.

"Though if you won, who would you crown queen of love and beauty?" Lyanna continued.

"I wouldn't win."

"Shut up about that, I don't care about your actual ability, who would you crown? Surely there must be someone."

"I'd crown my horse" Benjen piped in. "There are no ladies here worth crowning."

That made Lyanna laugh. As she was distracted by Benjen Ned let himself glance towards where Catelyn was. She was frowning at something one of her father's men had said to her, he could not see the man's sigil. He noticed that she bit her lip as she was thinking about her response. He had not noticed how pretty her lips were before.

Lyanna put a very sharp elbow into his side, causing him to wince.

"I want an answer, Ned!"

"I'd crown you out of pity, no one else would" he muttered, rubbing his side.

Truth be told, he did not know who he would crown. He had no betrothed, no one to court or seek favour from. Winning would have been harder than ending up on his arse in the first tilt.

"Robert would crown me."

"Robert would crown Ned" Benjen said.

They would never know who Robert would have crowned because Robert lost his first joust against Arthur Dayne. Brandon won his, though. Some small part of Ned had wanted him to lose. It would have done him good, humbled him.

"That bloody bastard in his white cloak" Robert spat that evening.

He had stumbled into Ned's tent, already drunk. Not enough for anyone who did not know him well to notice, but Ned was closer to Robert than most. He knew his ways and habits.

"Arthur Dayne is a fine knight, a fine rider" Ned said.

Robert poured himself yet another cup of wine.

"So am I, and still the fucking cunt put his lance right into my chest!"

"You cannot lick your wounds for the remainder of the tourney, there's eight days left after this one" Ned told him.

Robert wasn't one to forget an insult. That had not even been an insult, Arthur Dayne had simply been better than him. Though Ned wished he would soon find it in him to be cheerful again, he did not know how much more drunken anger he would be able to manage. Much, he would manage much. Though it would not be particularly enjoyable.

"You are right in that, Ned, there's other things I can lick" Robert said, standing up. "Up with you!"

Ned had to keep a grimace from his face. But he obediently followed Robert out of the tent. The grounds bathed in an orange glow from the sunset and what had to be hundreds of people were moving around, going here and there. Ned had not stopped to appreciate the beauty of it before, and he would not have had time for it either if he wanted to keep up with Robert.

"Let's find us some wenches to warm our beds tonight" Robert said. "A wet and willing woman, is there anything better? And Harrenhal swarms with them!"

Ned could not say he wanted to share his bed with someone, but as long as the search kept Robert in good spirits he would go on with it. It was better than being held a hostage in his own tent by a furious Robert. So he followed Robert through the rows upon rows of tents. Robert had been very right in that there were many, as he had expressed it, wet and wiling women. At least they were willing, Ned wouldn't know anything about the first part. Though Robert was very handsome.

They came upon a group of women, highborn by the looks of them. Dressed in fine gowns and with their heads held up high. And among them Ned noticed a familiar face.

"Ned!" she said as their eyes met, immediately stopping. "I am glad to see you."

"That is returned, Lady Catelyn."

"I would have come and talked with you during the joust, but I was unable to find time for it. Please do forgive me."

"I cannot fault you for it considering I did not come to you either."

Robert had only then noticed that Ned has stopped, and came back to see what it was that had distracted him.

"Oh but if it isn't Lady Catelyn Tully" he chuckled.

"The very one, my lord" she smiled. "I am sorry for that you are out of the competition so early, it would have been fine to see you win."

"I shall win the melee instead, but now we have to put our faith in Brandon. So that once he wins you can be crowned queen of love and beauty. You truly deserve it."

She would be beautiful with a flower crown. She was already very beautiful, of course. Even more so when she smiled. That no one could deny.

"Your words warm me" she said. "I must go, but may I see you later, Ned?"

It was a very pleasant surprise to hear those words from her.

"I trust you know where to find me, my lady" he said.

She let her fingers touch his arm for just a short moment.

"Brandon has showed me where your tents are. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the day. Good evening, Lord Robert."

She nodded towards them before turning to walk after the group of ladies. Immediately Robert gave Ned a shove that threatened to send him into one of many fire pits that had been set up in the camp. He had to use all his might not to fall into it, and he could imagine he looked ridiculous as he tried to avoid tha fire and still stay on his feet.

"Why did you do that?" he asked angrily as he regained his balance. "Are you mad?"

He turned to assure himself of that no part of him was on fire while Robert laughed at him.

"So the reason you don't want a wench is that you're fucking Brandon's pretty little betrothed!" Robert howled.

No one turned to look at them, but Ned noticed how everyone there slowed down. Suddenly they moved very quietly, as if they were afraid any noise would prevent them from hearing the rest of how Eddard Stark was fucking his older brother's betrothed. He was not sorry about disappointing them.

"Lady Catelyn is a friend" he hissed. "So if you would lower your voice, and not speak of how I'm fucking her that would be very pleasant."

"And what was it I saw just now?"

"I will break your jaw."

The threat was not very effective, Robert only kept on laughing. Before Ned could say anything more, or make reality of his promise, he turned on his heel and left his friend to laugh.

He hoped no rumours would spread. It was a foolish hope, rumours always spread, even when they came from nothing. What he truly hoped was that Brandon would not hear them. He didn't want Brandon to break his jaw. There was a high probability of that Brandon would have a quite wretched reaction to the knowledge of that someone was fucking his betrothed.

When Ned entered his tent again he found Lyanna and the little crannogman there. They sat on some furs on the ground with a cup of wine each.

"Join us, brother!" Lyanna said cheerfully.

He did not have much choice, it seemed.

"I know you have a brooding look by nature, dearest Ned, but you seem more sullen than one would expect."

Ned took the flagon and poured himself a cup. He drank deep before sitting down with his sister and their newfound friend.

"What are you doing?" he asked, opting to ignore her words about his look.

"We were waiting for you. Tonight's mummer show will begin soon, we wanted to ask if you would come with us."

"Have mummer shows ever interested you, Lya?"

"I wouldn't know, I have never seen one. The weaklings never come to Winterfell."

Ned had seen several, but that was only because he had not lived in Winterfell for years. No singers or other travellers ever came further north than the neck. The northmen played and sang their own songs, no one felt a desire for more than that. That was probably untrue, Ned could imagine many people longed for more entertainment, though it was a pointless longing.

"Neither have I" Howland said. "No visitors ever come to Greywater Watch."

Ned knew Greywater Watch, though he had never heard of anyone who had travelled there. He had heard the castle could move through the swamp, making it impossible to find unless you knew exactly what you were doing. The logic of that no one had been able to explain to him. He had asked, he had read book upon book, searched the archives of both Winterfell and the Eyrie. He had been met by nothing. People had little knowledge of the crannogmen and Greywater Watch.

"Once this folly is done we shall visit you at Greywater Watch" he said.

Howland gave him a smile.

"I cannot reveal it's secrets to you, but I would not be opposed to a visit."

"You are a strange people" Lyanna said.

"No stranger than the rest of the northmen. We live according to our ways, as everyone else do to theirs."

There was something about his eyes that uncovered that he thought more than he said. And that he knew more than he let on. Ned had never met a crannogman before, he could not tell if all crannogman were like that or if Lyanna has stumbled upon a particularly peculiar one. Though he was correct in that all northmen were strange in their own ways. Not according to themselves, but the remaining kingdoms seemed to think them half beasts. Perhaps there was truth to that, though it was not a bad thing.

Lyanna raised her cup.

"To our first mummer show" she said. "Ned, you southern bastard, you do not have permission to raise your cup."

"I am not any less northern than you are" Ned remarked, but he kept his cup down.

"Said the Valeman" Lyanna finished for him.

"Having to suffer through speaking with you is worse than ascending the Giant's Lance."

"You are fooling no one, brother, I am the great joy of your life."

"I assure you, Lya, you are, and will always be, the great sorrow of my life."

The tent flap was pulled aside and Benjen became visible.

"Would any of you happen to have knowledge of Brandon's whereabouts?" he asked. "Father is searching for him."

"He was going to search for his betrothed a while ago" Lyanna said. "I do not know where."

"I met Lady Catelyn not far from here just now" Ned said. "So he most likely never found her."

Unless whatever he had wanted to see her for had not taken more than a moment. It seemed unlikely.

"I will tell Father that you had no idea" Benjen shrugged.

"You will tell Father that Brandon went searching for Lady Catelyn" Ned said sharply.

Benjen disappeared outside once more.

"Ben!" Lyanna shouted after him.

"Yes, I will see the mummer show with you!" Benjen shouted back.

"Lovely" Lyanna hummed. "Do you think Brandon and his sweet little lady might come with us?"

"Her name is Catelyn" Ned told her.

Only afterwards did he notice that his tone had been harsher than he intended.

"We know" Howland said.

Once more Ned saw a glimpse knowledge in his eyes. He did not know if he liked it or not, but there was certainly something about Howland Reed. He only wished he had understood what it was.

The air had a chill to it, but still there was some warmth. Spring was upon them sooner than expected, yet it had been welcomed. Ned did not mind snow, still spring was a relief. Spring was the end of a long struggle and fight against higher powers. Spring was a sweet song.

"You walk so terribly slowly, Ned" Lyanna said, giving him a light shove in the back.

"If you got to decide upon the pace we would be running" he muttered.

"I would not be opposed to it, we will miss the beginning."

Ned would not have been opposed to missing the beginning.

The mummer show was a test of endurance, though his family seemed to enjoy it. Brandon and Lady Catelyn did not appear. Perhaps they did, and Ned did not seem them. There were a lot of people watching the mummers, a lot of people and much noise. It was only reasonable that they did not manage to find them.

And though he was not impressed by the mummers he could admit that it was nice to see Benjen and Lyanna with such joy on their faces. It had been so long since h last saw them, between each time it seemed they aged so much. Gone was the children he remembered from Winterfell. Although they still acted much the same.

It was with high spirits he returned to his tent, accompanied by his younger brother and sister. Howland had slipped away, as quiet as the wind, and Ned did not know where he was. Howland was as light on his feet as a deer. One moment he had been just behind them, the next Ned had turned to say something to him only to discover that he was no longer there. Though as he shared Ned's tent he would most likely appear sooner or later.

"Lord Eddard!"

All of them turned around to see Catelyn come towards them. Even in the dark he could easily tell it was her by the way her hair glowed in the light from the lanterns. Red as a sunset.

She nodded to the three of them in turn as she stopped. Ned had expected to see her as he had seen her before, with a smile and laughter in her eyes. Instead her lips were pressed together into a thin line, and there was no trace of joy on her face. Her whole body was tense and she had her arms crossed over her chest, all while looking at him like a suspicious stranger. What had caused that change in her since their last meeting?

"My lord, may I have a word?" she asked.

Her voice was hard as stone.

"Is it urgent, my lady?"

"Quite."

Benjen and Lyanna scurried away without so much as a word. Ned turned to see them disappear behind a tent.

"Could we go to your tent?" she asked. "I would like to speak to you in private."

She made no move to reach for his arm, he didn't hold it out for her. They walked in silence, each time he dared throw a glance at her he was met by nothing. Her gaze was straight ahead of them. The chill in the air seemed like a foolish thing to take note about when Catelyn had brought winter with her.

When he showed her into his tent she made no move to sit anywhere. She stood with her back to him, her arms once more crossed over her chest.

"What have you said to people?" she hissed.

"I am afraid I do not understand what you mean" Ned responded.

She turned around, her hair forming a fan of fire behind her. All of her was fire, furiously burning.

"Then let me inform you of how Brandon came into my tent, shouting about that apparently I have happily let myself be dishonoured and defiled by someone close to him."

Ned could only stand there. When Robert had loudly spoken of how he was fucking his brother's betrothed he had not even considered how it would affect Catelyn.

"I have said no such thing, my lady" Ned answered. "I know–"

"Do not speak lies! You cannot claim that it is coming from nowhere after what just happened to me."

He could not claim to know her well, and she did not know him well. Still it stung in him. Did she think no better of him than that?

"If you let me finish I will explain to you precisely what has caused this!"

She took a step backwards, putting more distance between them. He tried to look her in the eye, she stubbornly turned them to the ground. Her face seemed even harder as shadows passed over it.

"Go on, then. Give me the reason for this madness."

Ned could have simply said 'Robert' and that would have been the end of it all, but he owed to give her a proper explanation.

"After we met earlier this evening Robert damn near knocked me to the ground and when I asked him why he had done that, he stated that the reason for why I was not interested in hunting whores with him was that... well, I already had you."

Catelyn drew further away from him. Soon she would have backed into a corner.

"Why should I believe that what you are telling me is the truth?" she said. "I have no reason to trust you."

Ned had nothing to say to that. Catelyn's observation was correct, she had very little reason to trust him. They had known each other for little more than a day, it was nothing.

"All I have to offer is my word" he sighed. "I can swear by the gods, both old and new, that I have said no such thing as people suggest."

There were many different sides to Robert Baratheon. He had as many faces as the southrons's god. Ned found that then and there remembering ever having loved any of those faces was hard. Robert was a struggle he would never escape, though Ned never wanted him to disappear. He was as much his brother as Brandon and Benjen. He loved him.

Catelyn raised her hands and rubbed her face.

"I wish I could say that your word was as much as I needed, but it is not."

Ned sank down in a chair, there was little else to do. Nothing he said would convince her, and there was no one else to ask about the truth. Robert would not make matters better.

"You do not believe me" he stated.

She began pacing the tent.

"I want to" she said. "But I cannot know if you speak truth. If you do not, you are the one who has ruined me."

"I have not ruined you!" Ned exclaimed. "We have done nothing, I consider you naught but my friend."

He could not know what she had done, and he did not care for it. He had not been with her. And he would never be, no matter accusations and rumours. It was all one great folly, a mummer's farce.

She laughed, but it was not a joyous sound.

"I would have you understand that what I have or have not done does not matter. If they believe me to be ruined, then I am ruined. It is stain upon my honour, and upon my betrothed's honour. I am a filthy temptress and Brandon has been cuckolded by a member of his own family."

Ned could find several things in that sentence to ridicule. It was absurd. No woman would ever prefer him over Brandon, Brandon was every maiden's fantasy. And Ned could not claim to have a great interest in women.

"I wish they did not speak such lies about you, but there is very little I can do except tell you that I have not been complicit in spreading the false rumours."

Had it been within his power to control it he would have put an end to it. But words travelled like wind, and no man could control the elements.

Catelyn's eyes drifted close and a sigh escaped her lips. She seemed calm for a second so short that Ned could not be sure of if it was true or if it was his imagination that caused her to look at peace. Her face was without expression and emotion when she opened her eyes and turned to him.

"Then we have no more to speak of, Lord Eddard" she said in a tone that said as little as her face did.

"I suppose not, my lady" Ned responded in the same even tone.

Having her for a friend had been entertaining for the night and day it lasted.

Even as they had said that she made no move to leave. She stood there, silent, and watched him. Not for a moment did her eyes waver from his. Ned did not know if he felt sorrow over having lost her so quickly, or anger at Robert for having caused her to feel what she felt. Perhaps it was purely disappointment at everything. He would have told her that had it not been for that she did not want to hear it.

She stood there until the tent flap was pulled aside and Lyanna's head became visible.

"Ned, there's a–"

Lyanna interrupted herself, her mouth still open. She looked first at Catelyn, then at Ned, and then back at Catelyn.

"Good evening, Lady Lyanna" Catelyn said, perfectly polite.

Ned did not know if she was unaffected or if she merely pretended to be.

"Good evening, Lady Catelyn" Lyanna said, standing a little straighter and smoothing out her skirts. "Forgive me for... interrupting."

Why did she hesitate?

"There is no need to ask for forgiveness, I was just about to leave."

She walked past Lyanna and disappeared into the night.

Ned leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. He had known beforehand that he would not like the tourney. He had been right. He wanted it to end. The thought of that it was eight days until then was unbearable. Eight days were so terribly long at a place like that.

"Why did you bring her here?" Lyanna asked.

"She wanted a word in private."

"About what?"

Ned was too tired to handle his sister. She had always been too curious for her own good.

"You shouldn't ask about things that you have no right to know."

"Is it about that people say she has been fucking someone?"

He didn't answer, he merely wondered where she had heard that. They had been with each other most of the time since it happened, when and where had she gained knowledge of it?

When Lyanna spoke again the curiousness had disappeared, and was replaced by worry.

"It isn't true, right? You would never do that to Bran."

That was easy to answer.

"No, it is not true."

He would never hurt his brother so. He would never have been able to even try.

"Alright. Well, I need your help."

"With what?" Ned asked, grateful for the change of topic.

He looked at her and noticed that her cheeks had attained a rosy colour.

"There's a spider in my bed."

Ned could not help but laugh. Lyanna claimed to be so fierce and without fear, but even the smallest of spiders would send her running. She had always come to Ned for help with the small eight-legged creatures. He wondered who had helped her while he was gone. Because apparently she had not learned to deal with them by her own means.

"Of course I will help you, little sister" he chuckled.

"If a word of this reaches Bran or Ben I will murder you."

He never said anything to their brothers, but he could always threaten her with it. It was his most effective weapon.

"No worries. My lips are sealed."

~*~

"Ned, would you come with me to wish Bran good fortune?" Benjen asked when he came to sit next to Ned.

The second day's jousting was just about to begin. Ned had seen Catelyn nowhere, though he had caught a glimpse of her brother and sister.

"Where is Lya?"

She and Benjen had left after they had broken their fast together with their father. So Ned had believed they were together, though apparently she had disappeared.

"I thought she would be with you" Benjen answered. "She said she was going to find you."

He was not surprised, and Benjen seemed to feel the same.

"She's probably sneaking around somewhere."

She would turn up sooner or later, she always did.

"Most likely. Though would you come with me now?"

"Yes."

The grounds were swarming with knights and squires dressed in all imaginable colours and in more sigils than Ned could name. Some led horses, some carried weapons, some were talking to a friend or a lady. The green hill was alive, and finding Brandon proved to be quite a challenge. They spent more time than Ned had thought looking around before they finally stumbled upon him.

Brandon was not alone, Catelyn was with him. Very close to him, in fact. Brandon stood behind her and held a hand on top of hers as she slowly stroke his horse. Brandon always groomed his horse on his own, he claimed that was the only way to get it done properly. Ned had never met anyone who liked their horse half as much as Brandon did.

"Brandon!" Benjen shouted.

Brandon's hands moved along Catelyn's body before falling to his sides. In one movement both of them turned around.

Why did Lyanna have to disappear, why could she not have gone with Benjen? Ned had had no wish to see Catelyn's smile fade when she saw him.

"How sweet of you, brothers, to come wish me luck" Brandon said.

"The honour of House Stark rests on your shoulders, you better not be a disappointment" Benjen said.

"You needn't worry, Ben, my opponents are all incompetent fools."

Ned had several things to say in regards to that statement, but he kept his tongue. If telling himself that made Brandon feel even more confident, then he would not be the man to tear him down.

"Such confidence is inspiring" Catelyn said.

"You flatter me, my lady" Brandon chuckled.

"I shall go find my family and take my seat, I wish you good fortune. I hope you win."

Brandon took her hand and kissed it, bringing a smile to her face. Was that the same smile she had given him two nights past? He could not know for sure. Though it was most likely just his imagination once more. Why would Catelyn smile at him like she smiled at Brandon?

He expected her to look at him, she did not. She walked right past him as if he was air.

"Is she not a beauty?" Brandon said when she was no longer within a distance where she could hear them.

"She is" Benjen answered.

There was nothing in his voice that agreed with what he had said, but Brandon was satisfied by his words.

"And clever as well" he continued. "She will make a good wife, and mother to my children. I am happy Father chose her."

"When are you going to be wed?" Ned asked.

Their betrothal had began years after Ned had left Winterfell. He had received word through a letter Brandon had written him. It had not meant much to him before. Of course he had been happy for the sake of his brother, he had only not considered it particularly much. He had never met Catelyn, he had not known what she was like. Brandon's betrothal to her had meant nothing at all.

"Next year. You'll have to come home for that, Ned, it will be a feast to remember."

"I am sure it will be."

He would be home for Brandon's wedding. He wish he could be home always.

"We shall leave you to your preparations now, good luck" Ned then continued.

He turned on his heel before either of his brothers could say another word. Though mere seconds later he heard Benjen behind him.

"Do you think he will win?" he asked.

"We cannot know anything until this is at end."

Despite all the noise around them Ned could hear Benjen's sigh.

"That is a very boring answer, Ned."

"No, I do not think he will win."

"Good, me neither, I just did not want to be the first to say it."

The took their seats, found that Lyanna was still not there. They should have asked Brandon about it, perhaps he knew something they didn't.

Their lord father did not ask, he was too deep in conversation with someone else to take note of them. Ned knew he saw the tourney as a great opportunity that it was foolish to waste. He wanted to build relations with other houses. That was why he had proposed a union between House Stark and House Tully to Lord Hoster Tully in the first place.

Catelyn was with her family. They were a splash of red among all others. She was cheerful, at least. Ned could always comfort himself with that despite Robert's lunacy she had joy.

Brandon made it through the second day as well. Ned was still unconvinced of that he would win it all, but at least he was not dragging their name through the mud. There was always some comfort in that.

Later, in the afternoon, and long after Ned had stopped directing all his thoughts on the jousting, Benjen shook his arm to make him pay attention to the next two riders.

"What sigil is that?"

Ned looked up at the two knights preparing to tilt. One carried a shield with the twin towers of House Frey, the other one's shield had a white weirwood with a red smile. He had no memory of ever having seen that sigil. It had to be a northern one, the southerners did not care for weirwoods, though he could not match it with any northern house. And he was sure of that he knew them all. Perhaps he was rusty, he would have to read up on that when he returned to the Eyrie.

"I don't know."

The knight looked strange. The armour was mismatched and seemed to fit him ill. He was short and had a leaner build compared to most knights, it was very apparent even as he sat on a horse. Ned had never seen anything like it.

"No one does" said Halys Hornwood, who had just sat down behind them. "The knight challenged that Frey and two others over the honour of a crannogman, but would not show his face."

Howland had been teased and bullied by three squires when he arrived at the tourney, and from what Ned knew no other crannogmen were in attendance. Lyanna had saved Howland from the squires, and had pointed them out during the feast. One of them had belonged to a Frey knight.

"You told Howland to avenge himself, did you not?" Ned asked, frowning.

"I did" Benjen confirmed, seeming just as perplexed. "He never gave me an answer."

That could be Howland. The build was right, and it would explain the armour as Howland had none of his own. But from what Ned knew of him he would not have done that, no matter how much his pride had been wounded. Though he could, of course, be wrong.

Everyone was talking over each other, even louder than usual, discussing the mystery knight. Ned looked over to where King Aerys sat, and noticed that the king was intrigued.

The moment the signal ran everyone cheered for the mystery knight, no one had a great love for Freys, and when the tilt was over the Frey knight was on the ground. The weirwood knight was not exceptionally skilled by any means, but it could not have been the first time he held a lance. He had knowledge of how to use it.

"Do you think Howland would be able to do that?" Benjen asked.

"No" Ned said, without having to consider. "They don't ride horses in the swamp. And they don't joust."

"Then who is that?"

Ned could not come up with a good answer. And everyone else was the same it seemed.

Next tilt the knight went up again. That time against a knight of House Haigh. Ned could have sworn one of the three squires had belonged to someone of House Haigh.
Once more everyone cheered for the mysterious stranger, once more he sent his opponent flying off his horse. To the joy of all the spectators. Except for the king.

Something caught Ned's eye and when he turned to look he saw Howland's little form stand by the fence and watch with large eyes. Ned poked at Benjen and pointed Howland out.

"It cannot be him" he said.

"Then who is that?" Benjen repeated.

Ned rose and passed all the seated nobility, making his way down to Howland.

"Do you know who that is?" he asked.

Howland shook his head, and a grin appeared on his face.

"All I know is that it is a very courageous man."

"Who has enraged the king" Ned added.

Even with that distance between them they could see the king's face. And the faces of the kingsguard.

Ned stood with Howland as the knight won his third tilt against a knight of House Blount. He was curious about if he would continue jousting, but everyone was left disappointed when he left the joust. Demanding only that the knights chastise their squires in return of getting their armour and horses back. Ned did not see it happen, but he heard of it afterwards. Despite the knight's small size his voice had been booming. Then it was done. And the rest of the day passed without anyone catching so much as a glimpse of the mystery knight with the laughing weirwood shield.

"King Aerys is furious" Brandon later informed them as they had supper in his tent. "He has sent men to look for the knight."

As he had been surrounded by other knights, including knights of the kingsguard, instead of sitting in the gallery he had heard things that the rest of them hadn't.

"I wish I had been there to see it" Lyanna grinned. "It must have been a glorious sight."

"It was" Benjen said. "You would have loved it."

"Where were you?" Ned asked.

That had been the second greatest question of that day. Lyanna had been waiting for them in Brandon's tent when they returned. Dirty, and with leaves in her hair. Ned was glad their father was not with them as he had had more important business to conduct, he suspected that otherwise the spirits would have been quite poor.

"Sitting there all day would have been so tedious, so I took my horse and went for a ride in the woods."

All three of her brothers and Howland Reed turned to look at her.

"You needn't worry, I am in perfect health" she said, annoyed by the four pairs of eyes directed at her. "Refrain from telling Father though, I cannot manage it."

She knew perfectly well none of them would tell their father. None of them had even given it a thought.

"Whoever it was defended Howland's honour" Benjen said. "So I propose raising our cups to the Knight of the Laughing Tree."

"To the Knight of the Laughing Tree" they echoed.

When Robert not soon after joined them he let them know that the king believed the knight to be Jaime Lannister, who had been sworn into the Kingsguard on the first day, the day before the joust began. He had immediately been sent back to King's Landing in order to serve as protection for Queen Rhaella and the young Prince Viserys. Ser Jaime had according to various people been very disappointed about this, leading the king to believe he had defied his orders and stayed at the tourney in secret.

"No, that cannot be it" Ned said. "Jaime Lannister is taller and more broadly built than the knight was."

"And he would have been able to find finer armour, even if he could not wear his own" Brandon added.

"And do you think a Lannister of the Rock would lower himself to challenge only small knights he sees as far below him?" Lyanna finished. "He cannot be that knight."

"I never said the king was right" Robert snorted. "Though he has sent out a good amount of men, including Rhaegar, to look for the knight."

He poured himself some wine before sitting down with them.

"Do you think they will find him?" Benjen said.

"I pray so" Robert laughed. "I would pay a good amount of gold dragons to see his face."

"I believe they're all too incompetent" Lyanna said. "It is a shame, though. I, too, would have loved to see his face."

Howland sat quiet through their discussion. There it was again, that knowing sparkle. He knew something the remainder of the world would never know, the identity of his defender. Or maybe he didn't and Ned was just reading too much into it.

It was a surprise when Catelyn entered.

"I did not know you would all be here, my lords and my lady" she said. "I shall leave."

Ned studied the table very intently, he could not look at her.

"No!" Lyanna shouted. "Join us, I would not be opposed to the company of another lady."

Perhaps she would decline. Ned hoped she would.

"I have somewhere else to be" was Catelyn's response. "Excuse me, Lady Lyanna."

"I hope you do not take offence at me asking, but why did you come here if you have somewhere else to be?" Brandon grinned.

It was silent as she hesitated.

"Perhaps I have a little while" she then said.

She sat with them, and Brandon gave her a cup. Ned immediately knew it would be a long night. Could he feign illness and take his leave?

"We were talking about the mysterious knight, Lady Catelyn, who do you believe it is?" Robert said.

"I know as little as everyone else" Catelyn said as she poured wine into her cup. "Though I imagine you must be happy, Lord Howland."

"I feel grateful for that someone was kind enough to defend me" Howland said. "And I would like a chance to thank him."

"I do not think you will get the opportunity if the king finds him first."

"I am convinced the king will never find him" Lyanna chuckled.

"Let us hope so."

"We should play a game" Brandon proclaimed before they could say anything more on that topic. "A drinking game."

"Aye!" Robert agreed, slamming his fist into the table and causing the rest of them to jump.

"Tell us the rules and we'll decide after that" Ned sighed.

Brandon took a silver stag out of his pocket and placed the coin on the table where they could all see it. All of them were quiet, waiting for further instructions, though Brandon said nothing. He let them watch the coin.

Catelyn was the one to break the silence.

"A coin?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "With all due respect, what are we supposed to do with a coin?"

Ned could agree with her.

"It is very simple, we pass the coin around and take turns flipping it. Everyone has to guess about if it will be stag or king, if you are wrong, you drink."

Why had he waited so long to say that? The dramatic suspense had not been justified in the least.

"Terrific" Benjen said, reaching for the coin.

They all made a guess about the outcome of the flip. The coin landed with the stag up, making Ned, Catelyn and Robert in the wrong. The three of them took a mouthful of their wine before the coin passed to Lyanna. It was not much at first, but as the coin travelled around the table time upon time, they all began laughing more and their minds grew fuzzy. The amount of wine they had consumed increased quickly.

"I want to apologise" Robert said as Brandon passed him to coin, suddenly growing serious. "To Lady Catelyn."

"No need to, my lord" Catelyn said immediately.

Even through the slight haze Ned noticed how her body tensed up. She folded her hands in her lap and straightened her back, as if Robert had reminded her of her manners.

"I insist, my lady. I never meant to spread lies about you, it was a jape at Ned's expense."

"I understand."

"It was because of you two?" Brandon asked.

His eyes were only on Ned, though. The temperature in the tent had dropped in just a short second. Perhaps it was time to retire for the night, before it could get even colder. Though Ned could not slip out before it had been more or less resolved. Or before it had escalated to the point where leaving was justified. He hoped for one outcome more than for the other.

"Ned had no part in it" Robert said.

At least he came to his defence.

"Do not do it again, is all" Brandon shrugged. "And flip the damn coin."

Ned picked stag without considering beforehand. He had expected Brandon to flare up, not come with a collected response. Though he was older than he had been last time Ned met him, he had changed. Ned had missed much while he was in the Vale.

Not many coin flips were necessary before they had sunk back in their chairs once more and the air was not so chilly anymore. Ned could not quite leave the fear of someone going into rage for whatever reason, but he was also enjoying himself. He did not want to part from his siblings and his friends.

Howland excused himself not late thereafter, the rest of them decided to continue despite there being no point to their game.

"I have to leave" Robert slurred many hours into the night.

Otherwise he would not be able to leave at all. He always seemed to get his guess wrong. Luck certainly was a tricky thing, though according to all laws he should not had got it wrong as many times as he had. At least Ned believed so. Though thinking was hard. Very hard. His thoughts were not as coherent as he would have liked.

"Oh, me too" Catelyn said, smiling.

Her cheeks had a lovely blush to them, and her eyes were glossy. She was beautiful like that. She was always beautiful. Ned had not appreciated it enough. He felt like nobody had. She deserved more.

"Perhaps it is time to... go to bed" Lyanna agreed.

She was slouching quite a bit.

"Mhm" Benjen mumbled.

He pushed himself up, using the table to steady himself. On unsure legs he left the tent and the rest of them behind. When they laughed Ned could not help but join in. The world had a shimmer to it, life was not an entirely unpleasant thing. He was happy, they were all happy.

"I can't do better" Robert chuckled.

Still laughing he got up. He did a lot better than Benjen. And that was not a strange thing considering he had a lot more practice than Benjen.

"Would you take my arm, Ned?" Catelyn ask. "I am... well. Unsure of if I can... do it on my own."

Ned stood up, swaying a little, and offered her his arm. Lyanna whistled, causing Brandon to laugh again.

"Hold her steady, brother, I want her safe!"

"I will try my best."

"I am grateful for that" Catelyn said. "Very very grateful."

Coming out in the open air was a little sobering, though not enough to make a difference. Their part of camp was empty, everyone seemed to have drawn back into their tents. Voices came flying from behind closed tent flaps, not loud enough to hear what was said but loud enough to be heard.

"Look at that" Catelyn said. "I can breathe."

As could he. Ned had not realised just how warm it was inside Brandon's tent before. One could believe it was Dorne in summer.

"What a relief."

They walked together past Lyanna's tent and stopped outside Ned's.

"It's a... it's a shame we have to part so early" she said. "I like walking with you."

He could only agree.

"I assure you, Catelyn, that is returned."

"Lovely."

She stumbled forward, and on instinct Ned caught her, held her steady. Her laugh was intoxicating. As was the rest of her. And she was so close to him, her eyes sparkling above a shining smile.

"I... I am sorry. For how I spoke to you" she said. "I should have understood that it was, you know. Due to no fault of yours."

He had to fight quite hard to understand what it was she was talking about before the previous night returned to his mind.

"You had a right to be upset."

"Not at you."

"It's all forgotten" he said softly.

Her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she lowered her gaze. Ned found himself raising a hand to tilt her chin upwards. As he did so the smile returned to her face.

"Hello, Ned" she whispered, giggling.

"Hello, Catelyn" he responded, smiling equally as much.

Then they were kissing. He leaned forward and she met him halfway, their lips crashing together. There was no hesitation, just hunger. He could feel her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to her, and he realised his hands were in her hair.

Catelyn tasted of the wine they had been drinking, and desperation. She was hot and sweet against him, and her hair was soft underneath his fingers. He had not believed his thought of that would ever be reality.

He only understood what it was he was doing once they had to pull apart for air. He looked at her, and saw her eyes go wide as she understood the same thing.

"Oh gods!" she exclaimed.

Simultaneously they backed away from each other. There were no longer smiles on their faces and joy in their hearts. It had been replaced by horror.

"Forgive me!" Ned said.

The horror at his action was more sobering than the chilly air had been.

"Oh gods" Catelyn said again, hiding her face behind her hands. "Oh gods. Oh seven save me. Oh gods."

'No one will remember a coward' Brandon had told him. And what Ned had just done was certainly not cowardly, but it was not something he wanted to be remembered for. He did not want to be remembered at all. Why? Why had he done that? Why had she done that? Why had they done that?

"You are betrothed to Brandon" he said, as if it was not obvious.

"You will not tell anyone, will you?" she asked.

Despite the darkness he noticed tears glistening in her eyes.

"Never."

"Good. Let us never speak of this again."

Then she was walking away from him in a brisk pace, surprisingly steady and sure on her feet.

"What worried Lady Catelyn so?" Howland asked when he entered the tent. "She sounded upset."

Ned had forgotten about him. But there he was, sitting in his cot.

"Nothing" Ned told him. "It is nothing."

Neither of them said anything more. In silence Ned undressed and crawled down under the covers of his bed. His whole body was heavy as stone, still he could not sleep. He tossed and turned until the sky went pale as morning came.

The thought of Catelyn was gnawing in him, making him sore and restless. She had been so beautiful, kissing her had felt so good. But all that was so wrong. It was a terrible thing to do to Brandon. And to Catelyn. She had been so worried of those rumours, and he had made them true. She would hate him. Though could her contempt be stronger than his own?

How could his spirit be so weak, how could he give in for the temptation so easily? The wine had made him a person he did not know. He never wanted to be drunk again. He could not lose control like that.