Chapter Text
Bella was standing over Alice's shoulder, watching her frantically fill in the details of her latest vision, when she realizes exactly where it is. "That's Renee's house." Home, or it had been for a long time, until there suddenly wasn't any room for her in Renee's life. Seeing it now, knowing that she would never feel safe there again, brings the details of her life into sharp clarity.
Alice immediately calls Carlisle, but all she can do is stare. Everything is exactly as she remembers it, down to the vague shape of months old reminders stuck to the fridge. She's thinking about the years of cooking in that kitchen, and sitting in the chair at the table, organizing Renee's life for hours every week. Was it really such a short time ago that she longed to go back? To spend the rest of her life cleaning up her mother's messes, taking all the responsibility on her shoulders? And now she might never see it again. Part of her couldn't help but be relieved. She traces her fingertips over the place she always sat, when she bothered to wait up for Renee.
Would James go after everyone she cared about, one by one? When would it end, really? Would it ever? Jasper takes a step forward, interrupting her inner monologue. "We'll keep your mother safe." He offers her his hand, offers peace of mind, and she takes it, letting the warm buzz of artificial calm wash over her.
"Edward is coming to get you. He, Emmett, and Carlisle are going to take you somewhere to hide for a while." Alice's voice is calm, but Bella can see the gears turning as she analyzes all of the possibilities.
"When does it end? When I'm dead, or a vampire? What are the actual odds here, Alice? And don't just give me whatever watered down story Edward told you too. I deserve more than that. This is my life on the line here, not his." Her voice is firmer than she expected, and Alice sighs heavily, sitting next to her on the couch.
"You deserve to know the truth. James will stand down if you're turned. It takes all the fun out of it for him. Edward doesn't want you to know any of this," Alice warns. "While you're still human, he won't stop unless one of you is dead. He's obsessive, and damn good at what he does. In a straight fight, we could easily take him, but his strengths lie in deception. And being a slippery bastard."
"And what does it take then, to become a vampire?" She doesn't hesitate to consider it. Jasper at least can appreciate her straightforward nature.
"You get bit, and then you go to hell for 3 days, and come out the other side." His answer is simple, getting straight to the point. "The venom slowly changes your body with every beat of your heart, hurts like a motherfucker too. The first year, the newborn year, you're stronger and faster as your human blood circulates your body, but you pay for it in thirst. Your throat will burn nonstop, for months. Newborns left to fend for themselves could decimate an entire town in their bloodlust. They are the most powerful a vampire could ever be, and virtually unstoppable, for humans at least." His voice is flat, just stating facts.
"Well you're knowledgeable. I think that’s the single most helpful answer I've gotten to a question since meeting Edward." It hits her that it was only 8 days ago that he sped into her life on the streets of port angeles. In hindsight, maybe her devotion to him was a little preemptive. It was easy to say that now, when two beautiful people were paying attention to her, and answering her questions. Two weeks ago her loneliness was palpable, a curtain of rejection hanging between her and the rest of the world.
"It was, ah… my specialty, before I found our dear Alice." Bella couldn't help but like the way he said that. She was --already-- very dear to Bella. An eternity could only strengthen those feelings, surely. As best friends, of course. Jasper smiles like he can read her mind. She blushes, but her curiosity is too strong to contain.
"What's it like to be a vampire?" She meets Alice's eyes then, pleading with her to understand. This was no longer about Edward, but her freedom to live as she wants. While she's waiting for Alice to decide, Jasper gives them space under the guise of getting food. She hears the car pull away before Alice is done sifting through the future. She evidently likes what she sees.
“I shouldn't tell you this. He's going to be furious.” she warns halfheartedly, excitement peaking through. Alice looks at her then, truly looks at her, and sits facing her on the couch. She's suddenly serious. "It is the most painful experience you will ever have. The thirst will ruin your first year. With all that said, I think it's more exciting than being human. You're trapped behind so many rules, beholden to all of the things that are capable of ending your life. Even if you do everything right, an accident can destroy you. In some instances, being a vampire is simpler. You'll never forget, or lose things, or have to worry about not having food. Poverty becomes insignificant."
Alice takes Bella's hand gently, almost a ghost. "You can never see your family or friends again. Everyone you knew as a human will die and fade and you will pass them by, unchanging. You will never be able to have a family."
"You're kidding, right? No family? Is that not what you have? I don't need or want a blood connection." She spits the words out. "Your type of family seems far more meaningful. I would rather be chosen, than forced on someone who doesn’t care about me." The words come out in a rush, before she can stop them. They're too true to be spoken aloud, she can't stand to see pity in Alice's eyes, so she doesn’t look. She always says too much, and makes things awkward. Her thoughts start to spiral from there, tensing for rejection. It doesn’t come.
"You're worth more than that. You deserve to be around people who are delighted with your existence, whoever you decide you are, and you better put me right at the top of that list. I have been excited for you to join the family, and excited to get to know you outside of my visions. I just need you to be sure. This is something you cannot take back, and not something to be rushed into lightly."
"I haven't heard any downsides. Except the pain, but even then, to know that the worst pain a person could ever feel has passed? To know, with certainty, that it doesn’t get worse? I would pay a lot of money for that peace of mind." Bella sighs. "I've never had any friends to lose, outside of you. My mother is . . . A complicated woman, and my father left me with her. I've been making adult decisions for others for years. I think I'd like to make one for myself." Her voice is firm, unwavering.
Alice's answering smile makes her heart skip a beat. Now that she's disregarded Edward's opinion, Alice's closeness seems very real, tangible to her for the first time. Her hands start shaking, and she tucks them into her lap to hide it. These are inconvenient emotions to be having.
"I think we can arrange that. Soon, at least." Alice tucks a strand of Bella's hair back behind her ear. "Any crazy tattoos you want to have for eternity? Now's your last chance. Needles break on my skin, but I've wanted one for years . It's painful to know how good I would look with tattoos and not be able to get any." Alice sits back, looking away wistfully.
Bella laughs, and the mood lightens. It really feels like the answer to all of her problems has been put in her lap. "I don't know. I've always wanted a Star Wars tattoo, but it seems kind of silly, all things considered."
"I don't think it's silly. It's something you like. What would you get?" Alice grabs a bit of hotel stationary, and a pencil. "Seriously. I'll sketch whatever you want, so you can see if you like it." She's so earnest, it's impossible to turn down. Their eyes meet, and Bella loses her train of thought. She can't stop looking at Alice, wondering what she did to deserve her.
"I want C3PO, just like, hanging out. Maybe on my arm, or my thigh?" Bella shrugs, looking away, and Alice starts sketching. Her hand is almost a blur, and in about a minute she has a small sketch, if you could even call it that, given the beauty and precision of her work. C3PO is standing there, in glorious detail and shading, arms bent.
There's a sunflower at his feet, and a few smaller flowers surrounding it. It's exactly what she pictured somehow. Alice just knows.
"It's perfect." Bella’s astonishment is clear in her voice.
"I know." Alice sounds both excited and proud. "Do you want it?"
It's at this point that Jasper reenters with fast food. "Well you two seem in much better spirits." he hands the bag to bella, and she immediately starts snacking on fries.
"Bella wants me to turn her, Edward's opinion be damned." Alice is only a little smug. "We were just talking tattoos."
"And of course you plucked a design straight from the future?" Jasper chuckles, picking up the paper from the coffee table. "Did you see that Revenge of the Sith is coming out this summer?"
Before Bella can answer with excitement, the phone rings in Alice's hand. Renee's anxious cries are audible even to Bella. Alice hands it over wordlessly.
"Mom, hi, it's okay, everything is fine." She sighs as she starts the arduous process of convincing Renee that she's fine and to leave her alone. When she decides she cares about being a parent, she’s overbearing until she stops caring again a few days later. The line is silent. "Mom?"
A deep voice she doesn't recognize starts speaking on the other end. "Don't say or do anything to make your friends there suspicious. I won't need to hurt your mother if you are willing to cooperate." I look up and meet Alice's eyes, panic breaking through the stranglehold of my emotions. Alice nods, and meets Jasper's eyes. They seem to have an instant, silent, conversation. Jasper starts packing the few belongings they have, just as noiseless.
"Repeat after me, and sound natural for god's sake. No, mom. Stay where you are." Bella's terrified eyes meet Alice's calm ones. She nods, already frantically scanning the future.
"No, mom. Stay where you are." She tries to sound exasperated, and starts pacing.
"Good. Do you think you can get away from your friends?" She glances at Alice for an answer, and she nods.
"Yes."
"Perfect. Your mom is surely grateful to have such an obedient daughter. If I get the slightest hint of an idea that you're not alone, then she might be … less thankful. Do you understand, Bella? How little time it would take me to end her life right here?"
"Yes." The word is strangled, and James tsks.
"You better even out that tone. Say mom, trust me."
She repeats the words with as much exasperation as she can manage. It's still slightly pitiful.
"Here's what you're going to do for mother dearest. I want you to go to her house. Next to the phone there will be a number. Call it, and I'll tell you where to go." She takes a step to the sketches of the ballet table Alice abandoned on the desk. "Can you do that for me?"
"Yes." She had a feeling that Alice wouldn't let her within ten miles of either of those locations.
"It's very important that your friends aren't suspicious." Bella feels slightly hysterical. "Say Thank you, mom."
"Thank you, mom." She chokes the words out.
"When you hang up, you're going to tell them you've convinced your mom not to come home yet, and that everything is fine. Now say I love you, mom. I'll see you soon."
"I love you, mom. I'll see you soon." Bella has the stark realization that she's never going to see her mom again. She doesn’t know how she feels about that just yet. The line clicks dead on the other end, and she lowers the phone in shock.
"I don't think he has your mom." Alice's voice cuts through the silence. "I can't see her dying, or anywhere other than a beach in Florida with Phil until after the weekend. They're house shopping." the words are matter-of-fact. The relief combined with the inanity of details makes a slightly hysterical laugh leave her.
"The voice?" Her voice is high.
"Home videos. I think she will be okay, along with Phil." Alice sounds so sure that Bella collapses on the couch in relief.
"What are we going to do?"
Jasper answers her this time. "Alice is calling Carlisle, and we will be taking you into hiding." Standing in the center of the room, Alice is already talking, so fast that it's only a buzz. She stops to listen briefly before hanging up the phone.
"Alright! Now that that's settled, we're moving to South Dakota! Carlisle, Edward, and Emmett should make quick work of James, and Victoria will get away, but she won't be any trouble. Losing James is enough for her to leave the cause. Esme and Rosalie will keep watching Charlie just in case. All tied up with a neat little bow! That’s what I call efficiency." Alice smiles, and holds a hand out to Bella. She smiles back weakly, dizzy with relief. "I would've died on the floor of the ballet studio." She states this as a neutral fact. It almost doesn’t feel real. The amount of changes pressed onto her in this short week have fried her brain.
"That was the most likely scenario, yes." Alice says patiently, her hand frozen in front of Bella. "James wanted to bite you, I think. He knew that’s what would torture edward the most."
"Huh." That's all Bella can bring herself to say. She can feel the shutdown coming, and she's caught up in the tide of it.
"Jasper will check us out of the hotel. You have food waiting in the backseat. Then you can get some rest. It's been a rollercoaster of a week." Alice smiles when Bella silently takes her hand.
Bella doesn't speak on the way to the car, or for the first 4 hours of the drive. She quietly eats, and then watches blankly as the desert rolls past. Alice doesn’t speak at an audible level, and Bella can't help but be grateful. She lets her hoodie swallow her, and loses herself in watching the only home she's ever really known fade away.