Chapter Text
"And I'll iron up your dresses once they're out of the laundry, so you can come and get them from the outhouse, oh, and I'll go with you to the shop the first few times but you'll be expected to go alone afterwards," John had been rattling through the list of chores and expectations, "Other than that you're free to do as you want, just make sure you go upstairs when you're most fertile, hopefully it won't take too long for you to get pregnant."
"Thanks for the rundown." Roger nodded and listened intently. It wasn't like he hadn't been trained for this, but everybody had their quirks. "And it's just for conception? Or do they like to fool around?"
"Hard to tell, they're not really meant to, but the General isn't married, so he might do," John shrugged, "If you ever need anything don't hesitate to come over, both me and Fred work in the house and will help you if we can."
"Your support is appreciated." Roger nodded. "How long have you been here then?"
"Since I was fourteen, so nearly five years," John smiled, "I guess I'm lucky in that sense, I'm a member of the household and not a servant."
"I… suppose that's lucky," he replied. "Well… uh, just keep at it for now then." He had to wait and see if he was the sort that should know. Not a first meeting chat.
"Well, I'll see you at dinner then, got some meat stew today since Brian isn't here," John smiled, "Go wash up, it'll be done soon."
"Thanks again." Roger walked back to his room, washing his face and hands. This was a big task, he knew. But he was going to make this work.
Downstairs had the same depressing shine to it, the other family wore grey, no matter what John said about being part of the household, they were coloured in as second class citizens. Still, well above Roger’s red.
Roger took his place where he was assigned. He knew he wasn't going to get special treatment. This is why things had to change.
"So, what were you before?" Freddie, presumably, looked over across the table at him while John tried to corral the kids to sit down.
"Fred, don't. You're not meant to talk like that," John gave him a glare, "Rog you just ignore him, don't worry."
"I don't mind really." Roger shook his head. "I haven't had a chance to do much yet. Cooking and cleaning and things. Bringing home money for my parents.”
"I meant before before, pre Gilead," Freddie gave him an odd look, "You must've had a life, you don't sound London."
Well Roger obviously couldn't tell him the truth, that he'd been against it all from the beginning and part of an infiltration plan even BEFORE he was taken. He'd just have to wing it. "I was too young to do that much for anything. My mother was a dressmaker, my father was a cobbler. I'd have done one or the other."
"Well that is eh... Fun," Freddie seemed to get a little bit more bored with him after that answer, "I used to be a designer before the Liverpool gallery got fire bombed."
"Lovely." Roger nodded. "I'm sure you were good at your job to be regarded this highly.
"Hardly, I'm not even an assistant, I just sort through the paper work so he actually does it and doesn't forget," Freddie shook his head, "It's Brian who owns us all pretty much, still could be a lot fucking wors-"
"Fred, language," John swatted him, "You're the man of your own house, just happens to be in his land, no issue there."
"No one wants to be controlled," Roger agreed. "But it's not safe to say so, not alone. And don't say anything in front of anyone that might parrot you." He glanced at the kids for a moment.
"Right, so no more on it," John shut down the conversation, "Freddie that means you specifically. Just eat your food before it gets cold."
He did as he was told. Roger tucked in too. He was still gauging John. He seemed like he was a lot more nervous to resist anything, probably for the kids' sake. He'd have to ensure they'd be safe, that it'd be worth it for him. Freddie seemed ready to cooperate already.
"Do we call you Roger or Ofmay?" The little boy closest to him with the same teeth as Freddie looked up at him, "I know in public it's Ofmay, but here?"
"You can call me whatever you like," Roger told him. "Don't want to start anything.'
"Okay," he nodded, "I'm Jez."
"Short for Jeremiah," John clarified quickly, "you know you're not meant to change it up, you could get in trouble for that."
"Nice to meet you," Roger smiled softly at him.
"Have you been around other kids?" John asked him, "I'm guessing this is your first house, you don't seem old enough to have been to many."
Roger shook his head. "First. Haven't had a lot of hands-on experience with kids.”
"Well you will soon, hopefully," John smiled, "I bet you'll be able to fill the place up with tiny people.”
"Every man's dream." Roger took another bite. Didn't have anything more to say about it.
The rest of the dinner went by similarly, John trying to diffuse situations before they even came up, Freddie trying to dig for something that he wasn't sure was even there, the kids more or less oblivious to it all (He'd worked out the youngest two were Nicola and Eve).
Soon John got everything tidied away, getting the kids to go wash up. "I'll be back in the morning to show you around town," he looked at Roger, "You'll be okay tonight?"
"Yeah. I'll just sleep as much as I can. Gotta stay beautiful and everything like that." Roger sat on the bed. "Thank you for dinner.
"I don't know about the vanity, but stay healthy, And you're welcome, it's sort of what I do." John told him, "I'll let you get to sleep then.”
"Goodnight, John." Roger changed into his sleepwear when John left, not planning to get a ton of sleep really. But he should try to rest.
***
Brian arrived a few days later, not the greying elderly statesman he'd been expecting, a couple of years older than he was with far too much hair to be a traditional penpusher.
Roger looked up at him, but timidly. He probably shouldn't do much of the talking. But he had to be polite. "Good morning, Mr. May. It's good to meet you."
"It's good to meet you too, Roger. Or is Mr Taylor better?" Brian had no real idea how he was meant to go about /owning/ someone, the knowledge of what he had to do to that person was sickening.
"Uh… I'm referred to as Ofmay, formally. I don't mind Roger, though, or Mr. Taylor." Fascinating.
"Don't worry about the formalities in here, unless it helps, detachment and all that," Brian looked at his hands instead of Roger, "I just want to apologise now for everything that's been done to you, it isn't fair."
What if this was a test? "It's just my function to make the world a better place again. You can call me anything you like… I'm here to serve.'
So that meant he wanted it to be mechanical and emotionless? Brian couldn't really blame him, it was by far going to be worse for him than anyone else. "Okay, right," Brian nodded, "If you want anything for your room just say, if there's any issues you can leave them with me or have John pass the message on."
Roger nodded slowly. "In about a week I'll be at my peak and ready to consummate this with you. It shouldn't take too much trying," assuming they were both healthy.
"Yeah," what was he even supposed to say to that? Could he get out of doing it? Not forever, it would be Roger that would get in trouble if he didn't conceive, but if Brian was at meetings or whatever maybe... "Eh... Thanks.”
"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. But really it's an honor to continue the line."
"No, no I just feel sorry for you," Bria shook his head quickly, "I never cared much for the line."
"Is that why you never took a wife?" He paused. "I'm… I'm sorry, no that's not appropriate."
"I have no real interest in dragging any children into this hell hole of an earth," Brian admitted, "And I know that's illegal to say, so skip the lecture.”
"...I'm… I wouldn't..." He shook his head. "I understand. You're just doing what you have to do. No one wants to go through with this stuff.”
"I shouldn't grumble, it's worse for you," Brian sat back, "I'll let you go."
He nodded. "I'll see you soon.'
Brian glanced at him briefly, turning to look at his paperwork instead of saying anything more.
Roger walked away. So maybe he wouldn't be too hard to convince.
Freddie was waiting for him upstairs by the door of his room, a very pointed look on his face. "You know something, don't you? Most handmaids try run, try get out or kill themselves... Especially ones they've just brought in."
"It is not your place to ask me those kinds of questions," he told him firmly. "Don't be invasive or I'll tell John on you."
"I'll tell John on you," Freddie mimicked in a high pitched voice, "If you're going to pull that card you've not got a leg to stand on, you're just a womb that does the shopping too."
Roger narrowed his eyes on him. "Nice to know that you switch sides based on what will get you your way.'
"You're the one that started with the whole 'its not your place' thing," Freddie crossed his arms, "I don't trust you."
"You shouldn't," he replied and kept on his way.
"Whatever you're doing, you leave John out of it," Freddie called after him, "He's scared enough as it is."
Roger sighed and headed back to his quarters. He had to be patient.
***
"Roger ?" Nicola was the first to be up (they'd let them have a lie in while their parents went to the yearly fertility check up), "Is it you looking after us today?"
"Yes, dear, I'm the nanny today.' He smiled softly. "You want breakfast now?"
"Mhm," She nodded, getting out of bed, teddy still in arms, "Is mummy going to be away for a long time?"
"No, love, he'll be back this evening, papa too." He got up from the bed. "Let's wake up your siblings."
"Okay," She took his hand, going over to the youngest in the cot, Eve still completely asleep in there.
Roger scooped her up gently. "Alright, darling. Time to wakey wakey." He rocked her gently.
Eve nuzzled into him crankily, hands gripping onto the front of his dress, trying to get back to sleep already.
"Can we have toast and jam?" Nicola looked up, "I like the strawberry one."
"Sure, we'll have that with your scrambled eggs," he told her. "Go and get your brother while I wake up the baby and get the meal started."
The little girl nodded, running off to the next door. Brian was downstairs when Roger got down, cutting some fruit up in a bowl, not noticing him when he entered.
"Good morning, sir." Roger walked over to the pantry, taking the ingredients out.
He was still holding Eve in one arm without much trouble.
"Oh," he startled a little, "I wasn't expecting anyone else up, it's a bit late on ... Morning though."
"Kids don't like to sleep in. Well, some of them." Roger smiled and looked at Eve. "C'mon, love, wake up and smell the toast.
"I don't blame her, mornings are miserable," Brian nodded, "Just be nocturnal if I could."
"Should be up and about when it's light outside, that's what the light's for." Roger cracked a few eggs, still one handed, then shifted Eve to hold her with his arm while holding the bowl and beating the eggs too. "Look, they're getting all fluffy, love."
Eve reached out to it, making a cooing noise as she tried to stick her hand in it. "You want me to take either her or the bowl?" Brian asked, "Before we end up with an eggy baby."
"Sure thing." He set the bowl down, handing Eve to him. "Mind your hair, she's grabby."
"Jez and Nickie were the same, I used to babysit from time to time," Brian admitted, "You're very natural with her."
"Thank you." Roger got the eggs in the pan. "You want some too?
"No, thank you, I don't eat eggs or dairy," Brian shook his head, "Have you managed to learn your way around town?"
"Yeah, I got things figured out." He looked over at him. "Where do you get your protein?"
"I don't know, vegetables?" Brian shrugged, "I don't exactly do any fighting or anything to need it "
"Eggs don't require fighting, chickens don't eat eggs, and how many chickens do we need?"
"Still, battery farming is worse in a dictatorship," Brian told him, "I don't mind them being bought for the rest of you, I'm just not eating them."
"Whatever you prefer." Roger scrambled the eggs around. "Could always get, like… eggless eggs or something then. Oat milk tastes the same."
"I don't think I've seen ersatz foods like that since I was little, since the days of rationing," Brian pointed out, letting Eve steal a few pieces of orange, "Ages ago now.”
"Drag isn't it?" He fluffed up the eggs a hit more then put them under cover to keep warm, starting some more.
"mhm."
"Roger!" Jez ran into the kitchen seconds before his sister, barreling into his legs, "I got here first!"
"Hey, hey, hey." He put his hands up. "Don't knock me into the stove.”
"Sorry," Jez moved back, getting onto the chair, "Mornin'".
"Good morning to you too." He gave him his plate of eggs. "Toast is coming.”
"Thanks," he helped Nicola to her own seat, "What are we doing today?"
"I don't have any plans yet," he told them, taking Eve from Brian to feed her her breakfast. "What do you guys think?"
"Walk? Can we go climb trees at the park thing?"
"I don't think that's... I think some soldiers are currently working there." Brian told them, hoping Roger wouldn't ask.
"Oh." Roger shook his head. "I… I'm sure we can have some fun. Go out for a walk and play somewhere.”
"Roger, it's," He lent in closer so the kids wouldn't hear, "The whole of the main square is a hanging ground... They dealt with the prison overflow."
Roger nodded slightly. "Uh… I mean… how about we make cookies for your mama? I bet that'd make him happy when they get back. You guys can decorate them and everything.”
"Okay," the two eldest nodded, sensing not to ask too much about the park, "We can make them into flowers and pretty things."
Roger nodded and smiled softly. "Yeah, I bet he'd love that.
"I'll get out of your way," Brian gave Roger a nod, "Gimme a shout if you need anything, I don't mind keeping an eye on any of these if you need a break"
"You're welcome to hang out if you're not busy," he told him.
"I mean, I don't really have any work to do, I could stay," Brian said after a moment's thought, "That wouldn't be so bad."
"Keep you busy at least," he mused. And practice, if he actually took care of his own children. If they ever had children.
Brian smiled, finishing up his breakfast. He didn't know if it was better or worse to be friends with Roger, given what he had to do to him in a couple of days.
Roger wiped Eve's little mouth up gently. "That good, love? Yeah, good stuff, help you grow up strong." He gave her a kiss on the head, getting up with his dishes. "We'll get you kids all washed up and changed, then it'll be cookie time.”
"I'll get the dishes," Brian took them off of him, "You go watch them, don't worry."
"Are you sure? I can manage the dishes, it'll just be a moment.
"I don't mind, really." Brian promised him, "I'm not so old fashioned I've never washed a plate."
"Alright then." Roger let him be, ushering the kids upstairs to get tidied up and dressed. Not in anything too nice, this was gonna be messy.