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He tried to kill himself. And he doesn’t know if everyone’s disappointed because he tried, or because he didn’t succeed.
“Everyone” being one person, but that one person, that’s more than enough. His audience of one, the boy’s presence takes a seat in all the stands.
As long as this agony has meaning behind it, he can stick it out. If he can just grit his teeth and hold his tongue a bit longer, his silence will encompass, it will pull through the hostility. His weariness is their passion in their own hatred.
“It's not Rick, it's not my friends, it's not my family-” He noted how Morty had excluded himself from family-
He figured it was because he was something lesser. But what he didn’t know was that he was out of place because Morty held him higher than the rest. See, simple things like this, your mind twists it.
I am torn in two.
But were we ever one whole to begin with? Your friends, family, soulmates, you’re bonded to them. Forever. God forbid you not be torn into pieces. The people who hold your hands and pray with you, the ones who you keep in your heart beat, they stitch themselves into your human being. Sure, at our core, we are one person. But we’re all a drop in a raging sea, water is a whole, it is seen as such. We are one. We are all. We take traits from the ones we love, we copy their laughter, their gait, speech patterns. We are never truly alone.
And when you feel alone, remember, that I am with you. I am the softness in your touch, I am the salt water in your eye. I am the breath breathed divinely into your lungs. I am the ground beneath your feet, I am the nails stitched to your fingers. I’m stapled to your back, your crooked spine now a straight line.
I am the same song and dance that you’ve taken into your comfort. I am the shallow breath you take before the depths of sleep. When you open your mouth, my words come out. And even when I am long dead and gone, you are there to carry me on. I am yours til the end of the earth, and ever after that, my sweetest friend.
What will the children sing when you put me in the ground for the last time?
They say happiness is achievable, but how can I be something I’m inherently not?
He’s had dreams of burying his grandson, as he has done before. This is nothing uncommon. He’s crawled back to life, worn, but not broken. Reassembled.
I am fading through.
So they hold each other and cry, and Morty tells him that he’s his sweetest friend, his most precious love. And he explains to him why his heart beats in a certain way. And he explains that he still loves him despite the red lines on his wrist, he holds him close and tells him that I will fight for you.
And they are at ease, and they are at ease.