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"If you want someone to date her so much, why don't you take her on a date?"
Tori opens her mouth to protest. To say that that's the most ridiculous sentence that has ever come out of her best friend's mouth. That Andre is a boy and she is a girl. So…
So fine, she's not exactly straight, but Jade might be and they don't know. They don't know and even if Jade is in fact bi or pan or fluid or however she wants to identify, they don't know if Jade is comfortable enough to open up about it. Least of all, to Tori, the person she has dreamt of trampling to death.
"There's something happening with you and I don't know if I like it," Andre says. "Why? Tori, why are you making that face?"
"I'm going to ask Jade out on a date," Tori proclaims.
"Oh," Andre blurts out. "Hey," he murmurs. "Tori, that's not--I don't mean--"
"Yeah, thanks Andre."
Maybe, maybe she's not the person Jade will want to come out to or maybe there is not even a need for Jade to come out, but there are not a lot of options for finding out which is the truth.
Unless Tori asks.
And Jade is not the type to mince words. If she doesn't want to go out on a date with Tori, she will just say so in the meanest, angriest, rudest way possible.
Then Tori will know. No guess work needed.
"Hey, Jade."
"What, Vega?" Jade hisses.
Expected. You can do this. Tory tells herself, suddenly feeling nervous. Which is normal. A little bit of nerves is normal when asking someone out on a date. Not just because it's Jade. Who is not at all terrifying.
"Are you going with anyone to the Full Moon Jam?" Tori asks.
"I'm going by myself," Jade answers.
"Oh, so no date?" Tori squeaks.
"You don't need a date to go to the Full Moon--" One of Jade's eyebrows quirks up. She stares Tori down with her patented fiery glare. "Are you trying to make another prom? Because Vega, I swear--"
"No," Tori says quickly. "No prom. I just wanted to know if you have a date."
"It's none of your business," Jade answers.
"Yeah, but--" Tori huffs. Jade is not making it easy for her. "I'm asking 'cause I want to ask you to be my date during the Full Moon Jam."
"No!" Jade yells. Then her eyes widen like her brain has just processed what it was that Tori said. "Wait, what?"
"Do you want to be my date for the Full Moon Jam?" Tori asks.
"I…" Jade mumbles. "I'm performing so I won't have time to entertain you."
"We can still hang out after," Tori persists. It's not a 'yes', but it's not a 'no'.
"Fine," Jade says. "Pick me up at seven. We need to get there early. I have to do vocal warm up and sound check."
"But I can't drive."
"Vega, you asked me out so you're taking us there," Jade tells Tori. "Unless you want to take it back."
"No," Tori replies. "It's just a tad heteronormative."
"Heteronormative is when the dude is expected to chauffeur the girl everywhere," Jade says. "Driving your date when it's your idea is just common decency."
"Okay," Tori says. "I'll figure something out."
"But no buses."
"No buses. Noted," Tori mutters. "Is there anything else you need? Like flowers or I don't know, a teddy bear?"
"Eww," Jade cringes. "Don't bring anything 'cause I'll hate it."
Tori curls her lips up mechanically, grinding her teeth together. "Can't wait."
When she turns around, Andre is still staring at her in disbelief.
"What did you just do?" he asks, horrified.
"You said--"
"I know what I said!"
"What better way to show people how dateable Jade is?"
"By opening up the option to girls?"
"Huh, that's actually a very good reason. Didn't think of that."
"What were you thinking?"
"Yours is better."
"Seriously."
"I thought if Jade went on a date with the girl she hates the most in this school," Tori tells Andre, "and I survive, other people could do it too."
"Girl, you gonna die."
"That's not true."
"We'll see."
Tori leaps from the passenger seat to block Trina from slamming the horn.
"Why?" Trina growls.
"I'll go press the bell," Tori says. "What?" she huffs at Trina's incredulous look.
"You are too into this for it to be a one-time thing."
Tori squints at her. "I'm not some dumb boy who thinks he's a gift to the world. My date will not be honked to the car."
When the door opens and Tori smiles her widest smile, Jade asks, "Why didn't you just honk?"
"Because…" Tori says. "Because it's a short walk to your front door and I don't mind."
"Whatever," Jade sighs. Then her eyes see the person who is driving. "Vega, is that your sister?"
"Yeah," Tori replies. "You said no buses and I can't drive so. Besides," she adds when Jade's frown seems to have only deepened. "It's only a five-minute drive to school."
"Five minutes of Trina is too much Trina," Jade grumbles.
"You can take the back seat," Tori tells her.
"And you?" Jade asks.
"Trina is making me sit in front," Tori answers. "She said it's not a car service and if we suddenly get frisky, she's gonna hurl."
"It's five minutes," Jade points out.
"Right?" Tori agrees before it occurs to her that Jade is implying that they can't do much in five minutes and not that the idea of making out with Tori in the back seat of a car is unthinkable.
Jade seems to realize it too as her eyes widen. "I mean--"
"Yeah, no," Tori mumbles. "Got it."
For the first time in her life, Tori thanks God that Trina was born because if her sister isn't furiously honking the horn, Tori has zero clue on how to get out of the awkwardness lingering between she and Jade.
Jade stomps towards the car, leaving Tori two steps behind her.
"We're coming!" Tori shouts.
"You're still alive," Andre says when he finds Tori.
"Ha," Tori deadpans. "Actually, I haven't seen Jade since we got here. She did say that she won't be able to entertain but still, she just went off on her merry way. No like, 'see you later', you know, something that acknowledges that we're on a date or even that I exist."
"Merry?" Andre asks and Tori shrugs wordlessly at him. "And why are you taking this so hard? That's even better. People already know that you're here with her. As long you make it through the night, mission accomplished, right?"
"No!" Tori protests. "She has to actually be on the date for people to see that she's dateable."
"Really?"
Both Tori and Andre turn towards the voice.
"How much did you hear?" Tori asks.
"From 'merry' onwards," Jade replies. She isn't yelling so that's good. "And we'll circle around back to that later, but did I hear right? You did all this to make me appear dateable? Why?"
"Because," Tori swallows. "Beck is here with Meredith and I don't want you to, you know, murder her."
Jade crosses her arms, leaning on her right leg. She still isn't yelling but Tori finds this reaction more unsettling because at least when Jade raises her voice, Tori knows what's going on. Right now, Jade isn't giving her anything.
The skin over Jade's temples tenses as she clenches her jaw and Tori braces herself for a vicious scolding.
But all she gets is a weary sigh and,
"Whatever. I have to be backstage."
"Jade--"
Jade doesn't turn around and Tori doesn't chase after her.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing," both Tori and Andre answer at the same time.
Beck raises his eyebrows. "So, you guys weren't staring at Jade?"
"Yes," Andre says.
"No," Tori says.
"I'mma go get a drink," Andre says. Turning to Tori, he asks, "Do you want anything?" then to Beck, "Anything?"
Tori shakes her head. "I'm good."
"Me too."
When Andre has left, Beck grins at Tori. "It's okay, Tori. I know you're on a date with Jade."
Tori chuckles. "I'm not sure I am."
"It's not about you," Beck says. "Jade's probably just tense because of her performance. She gets like that whenever she's about to go on stage. But after," he smiles assuringly at Tori, "she'll loosen up."
"I hope that's true," Tori tells him. "So, how's your date with Meredith?"
"She's nice," Beck answers.
"She is nice," Tori nods. "But just nice?"
Beck's nose crinkles. "Too nice."
"That's not good?"
"Good for someone else maybe," Beck says. "I prefer someone less…agreeable."
"Why?"
"When you agree on literally everything, it gets kind of boring."
"So, who's not boring?"
Like Tori has just asked the universe and not Beck specifically, the strum of a guitar answers her question.
Jade is demanding their attention,
Tori glances at Beck. He's smiling dreamily, his hands clasped together. He doesn't look like someone who is over his ex.
So maybe it's only Beck who Jade is calling.
Beck approaches the stage as soon as Jade is finished. That's it, Tori thinks. The date is over. This is the moment in romcoms when the split couple realize that they belong together and all the things about each other that annoy them are actually endearing traits they miss.
Tori can't look so she finds the punch table and fills up a cup in an agonizingly slow pace.
"What are you doing?"
Tori closes her eyes. God, she is not ready for this. She takes a deep breath and exhales before turning towards Jade.
"I'm getting punch," Tori says, smiling tightly. "Do you want one?"
"No, I mean why are you not backstage telling me how awesome I was?"
"Because we're both here?" Tori replies. She doesn't mean to make it sound like a question but when Jade is staring her down like this, every assertive bone in her body just disappears.
"Pull it together, Vega!" Jade growls. "You're my date. Act like it!"
"B--but," Tori stutters, "what about Beck?"
"What about Beck?"
"I saw him go on stage," Tori replies. "You guys aren't back together?"
"What?" Jade questions, brows furrowing. "Beck was being a good friend but you--you're being a bad date. I was great up there and you still haven't given me a single praise for it."
"You were amazing," Tori tells her, still confused but unable to deny Jade a deserved compliment.
"Okay, say that like twenty more times while we walk around the room."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, Vega. These idiots need to know that if they want to ask me out, anything less than complete and total adoration is unacceptable."
Tori frowns. "Again. Huh?"
"God," Jade sighs. "You're not so bright, are you? Figures since you share some of the same DNA as Trina."
Tori rolls her eyes.
"When I heard you and Andre talking, I got pissed. Like I need your pity date," Jade continues, nose crinkled in disgust. "I even concocted some plans to murder you."
"Plans," Tori hisses, "sss?"
"But then it occurred to me that you may have stumbled onto something genius," Jade says, ignoring Tori's query.
Tori grins. "So, you do want people to like you?"
"Ew, no!" Jade protests. "I want to show people how to date me. I didn't get to do that with Beck 'cause we've been dating since freshman year, but anyone who comes after has to do it right."
"I don't know if I want to be involved in this," Tori replies.
"Too bad, Vega," Jade says, pulling Tori's wrist. Once Tori is close enough, Jade wraps her in a tight side hug. "You owe me."
"I don't--" Tori tries to wiggle her way out of Jade's arm.
"Yeah, you tricked me into this date," Jade tells her. "So, you're paying."
Tori stops squirming and turns to look at Jade. Only now it occurs to her that what she had done is kind of lousy. If the other person isn't Jade, she might have thought twice about it and wondered if asking them out could mislead them into reading something that is just not there.
"Sorry," Tori tells Jade.
"I don't need an apology," Jade says. "I need you to date me."
"Are you sure?" Tori asks.
Jade bristles. "God, did you listen to anything I said?"
"I just want to make sure."
"Yes, Vega," Jade says. "I'm sure."
"But why me?" Tori asks.
"Because I don't care if I hurt you."
Jade
What
Don't be mad
No
I haven't asked you anything yet
I can't not be mad
Fine, be mad then
What is it do you want from us dating?
God do I need to write a fucking manual for you?
That would help, yes
Typing...
Last seen 11.56PM
2.00AM, Today
I'm driving you to school tomorrow
Bring coffee
JADE'S RULES FOR DATING:
- You don't get to tell me what I can and cannot do
- I don't need to know your favourite color or favourite foods or your favourite anything. In fact, having favourites is dumb
- I only accept scissors on my birthday
- Either tell me what you want for your birthday or you'll get what you get
- You will join me for Jade with Tots every week and you are not allowed to tell me to be nice to the kids
Tori squints at the paper, reading the list for the second time.
"This is…" she mutters, "more manageable than I expected.
"I can add more stuff if you want," Jade tells her before sipping coffee from the thermos that Tori had placed in the cup holder between them.
"No," Tori says quickly. "This is fine. Can I keep it?"
"Duh, why do you think I gave it to you?"
Tori shrugs. "I thought maybe you'd want me to sign off on it before finalizing the terms of our uh, well, what is this?"
"You tell me, Vega," Jade replies. "You're the one who came up with this scheme."
"But my scheme, as you call it, should have expired last night. You wanted to extend it."
"What? Do you want to get lawyers?"
"God, no," Tori says. She folds Jade's list and stuffs it into her back pocket. In her periphery, Jade's lips have curled up into a sinister grin. "Oh, you're messing with me."
"You're too easy, Vega."
There is something about the way Jade calls Tori by her last name that makes a tingle run down her spine. Tori tries to recall if Jade calls anyone else by their last name. It sure does seem so. Except for Beck. And Cat. Trina--Jade doesn't call Trina 'Vega' but maybe that's because she doesn't want to confuse between Tori and her sister. There's nothing to it. It's just a Jade thing.
"Earth to Tori Vega."
"Sorry, what?"
"This coffee is…drinkable," Jade tells her.
"Thank you but I didn't make it. It's from a coffee shop near my house."
"You didn't make this?"
Tori shakes her head. "Nope. No one in my house drinks coffee so even if I wanted to make the coffee myself, I wouldn't know how. There's this old pack of coffee in one of our cabinets from when Trina tried to make chocolate cake for some guy. She'd read that coffee enhances the flavour or something. That was like two years ago. Does coffee expire?" She doesn't wait for Jade to answer. "Either way, I thought it best to leave it to the pros."
"Wait, Trina doesn't drink coffee?" Jade asks.
"She doesn't need more stimulants than the ones naturally produced by her body."
"So that's her without caffeine?"
"I'm afraid so."
"That's terrifying. You should ask your mom if she's ever fucked a demon. That's the only explanation I have for how Trina is Trina."
Tori winces. "Gross."
"Come on, you could be the only thing standing between the devil's spawn and an apocalypse," Jade tells her.
"Tell me, which part my terror do you find so entertaining?"
"All of it."
"Girlfriend of the year, you are."
"You're a lucky gal, then."
Tori rolls her eyes, sneaking a glance at Jade whose eyes seem laser-focused on the road ahead. There is a tinge of red on her cheek but that might be due to her pale complexion.
"True," Tori says, eyes back on the road. Part of her is tempted to peek at Jade's reaction--to see if she truly has the ability to make Jade blush--but she tells herself that it's just wishful thinking and she shouldn't be creepily staring at her friend. Snapping out of her daydream, she tells Jade, "But that's only because I'm the chosen one."
"What are we going to tell our friends?"
Jade's face is hidden behind the door of her locker. Tori wanted to stand on the other side but that locker's owner is standing in front of it and she didn't want to be one of those couples that would block other people's lockers just because they're in love or whatever.
"It's not their business, is it?" Jade says, taking her sweet time to find the stuff she needs for her next class.
"What if they ask?" Tori replies.
"Why would they? It's not like we're going to make out in front of them."
"Well, when you dated Beck, you guys basically devoured each other all the time."
"Yeah," Jade shuts her locker close. "'Cause we were together for, like, ever. Vega, we're not there yet."
"But you want this, this fake relationship to be visible, don't you?" Tori asks. "We have to show some physical affection. Otherwise, people will just think we're run-of-the-mill gal pals."
Jade has an eyebrow raised, smirking. "Why, Miss Vega?" She fans herself with her hand. "I didn't think you could be this forward. Here I thought you were a proper lady."
Tori rolls her eyes. "I'm serious," she huffs. "Are we going to have to lie to our friends?"
"If they don't ask, we're not obliged to tell," Jade says.
"Besides the fact that not telling the truth is still lying," Tori exhales and Jade shakes her head in disagreement, "we have nosy friends. They will want to know."
"Then lie," Jade says nonchalantly like lying to their friends isn't a big deal. "You know they can't keep a secret. Except for Beck, probably. And we absolutely cannot tell them we're suddenly friends."
"That's worse than telling them we're dating?"
"Yeah, 'cause you can break up with your girlfriend but girl friends are harder to cut off."
"That's not--" Tori protests.
"It's a warped concept, I know," Jade says. "But it doesn't make it any less true. Unless you can name any one of Andre's girlfriend."
"I do know!" Tori snaps and she really knows but her mind is coming up blank. Not because Andre has dated a lot of girls but because Jade is putting her on the spot.
Jade snickers. "Anyway, you should get your stuff because classes start in exactly three minutes."
"Sh--" Tori stops herself.
"Oh, sweet Tori cannot curse?" Jade squeals in that ridiculous voice.
"Shut up," Tori snipes as she turns towards the direction of her locker. "See you at lunch."
Tori doesn't really think about it until she's standing by their usual table and there are only two empty spots and one of them is next to Jade. The last time she was stumped picking a place to sit was third grade when her two best friends stopped liking each other.
She should pick fast before someone notices--
"Hey, Tori!" Cat cheers.
Everyone turns to look at her.
"Heyyy," Tori elongates her greeting in the hopes of buying time to decide where to rest her butt. "How's everybody?"
"Not bad," Beck says.
"Great," Andre replies.
"Okay," Robbie says.
"Don't ask," Rex grumbles.
"He had a bad night," Robbie explains.
"Spectacular!" Cat squeals.
Jade looks up. "Nothing eventful between first period and now so." She scooched over to her left as if trying to make space even though the spot next to her is already empty.
Tori takes the hint and sets her lunch next to Jade's. If Jade has made the choice for her, there's no point in dwelling.
No one seems to care except for Andre who is trying really hard to telepathically tell Tori, "What the hell is going on?"
Tori shrugs and decides to focus on her lunch instead of the conversation that resumed once she sat down. It's hard to listen when Jade is so close to her that she can feel her so called girlfriend's body heat. At least she thinks it's body heat and not her physiology getting worked up over the way Jade had casually rested her palm on Tori's knee under the table.
"What do you think, Tori?" Beck asks.
"Huh?"
"Up for karaoke night at Nobu?"
"Uh," Tori mumbles and her eyes move towards Jade as if her previous frenemy and now fake girlfriend has the answer. "You going?"
"Sure," Jade answers.
"Everyone going?" Tori asks the rest of the group. After a chorus of 'yes' and synchronized nodding, Tori exhales, "Yeah, why not?"
"You need a ride?" Beck asks.
"Always," Tori replies with a sheepish smile.
"Jade?"
"I have a car," Jade tells Beck.
"No, I mean can you give Tori a ride? I'm already picking up Andre and Robbie."
"Fine," Jade sighs. "I'll take her."
"Cat," Tori calls. "Do you need a ride?"
"No," Cat replies. "My brother's going to drop me off on his way to his special doctor." Then her eyes widen in realization and Tori panics. She knew that the question will come up eventually but she didn't think it would happen this quickly. "Don't worry, Tori. Jade won't murder you." Cat turns her gaze towards Jade. "Right, Jade?"
"I can't make that promise," Jade replies.
Tori is too relieved to act offended.
"Well, that settles it," Beck says, grinning at Tori.
"Thank you?" Tori says to him. He looks very pleased with himself.
"You're welcome," he replies with a wink.
It's weird but Tori is dealing with weirder things than Beck's unusual chipperness. So she decides not to read too much into it and goes back to eating her lunch.
It all happened so fast. One second she is staring down at her bowl of miso soup and the next she is on stage, reading 'True Love by Pink ft. Lily Allen' on the karaoke monitor.
"Is this a good idea?" Tori mutters to Jade who is standing next to her.
"Don't make this weird," Jade warns.
"Why'd you pick this song?"
"I didn't."
A corner of Jade's lips curls up as the first line of the song floats up the screen and Tori squints, projecting doubt at Jade's answer.
"There is no one quite like you…"
Tori turns towards Jade, an eyebrow quirked, daring Jade to sing the last line of the first verse.
"…push all my buttons down."
Jade shakes her head. "I can't," she mouths to the audience.
Tori rolls her eyes. She pushes Jade behind her and starts the second verse before Jade could.
"At the same time, I wanna hug you,
I wanna wrap my hands around…"
Tori tilts her head at Jade who has moved to front of the stage,
"You're an asshole but I like you…"
Jade sneers, making gestures that seem to say, "See, I'm not the only one."
So Tori sings,
"You're the only love I've ever known,"
in the affectionate spiteful way that only the song could allow.
"But I hate you,"
Jade cuts Tori off.
"I really hate you,
So much, I think it must be--"
Tori cups an ear.
"It's impossible," Jade says, more to Tori than the crowd but her mic catches it anyway.
The audience boos.
"True love..." Tori sings with a self-satisfied smirk.
Jade crosses her arms, her eyes rolled back.
"Just once please try not to be so mean."
Tori's grin widen.
"Repeat after me now R-O-M-A-N-C-E-E-E..."
"You can do it, babe!"
Jade holds her hand up at Tori.
"At the same time, I wanna hug you,
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck…"
Tori sticks her tongue out at Jade and a smile cracks on Jade's lips, absent of the ill intention and/or the cynicism that usually accompanies her smiles.
When the two magic words that Jade had so carefully avoided floats up beneath the line Jade is presently singing, Tori readies herself.
"True--" she stops herself.
"Love," Jade sings, careful to avoid Tori's gaze.
Tori lets her sing the chorus on her own, her hips swaying to the rhythm of the song. It's during the bridge before the last chorus when she rejoins the song, and Jade pauses like they had come to some sort of a silent agreement on whose turn it is.
At the final chorus, they sing together, their voices complementing the other perfectly, but Jade still refuses to look at Tori.
That is, until the final,
"No one else can break my heart like you..."
Suddenly, Tori finds the stage floor very interesting, and she would have kept her eyes on the glittery floor but Jade's feet are moving closer towards her.
It's not voluntary. It's just something you do when someone is standing this close to you. And there those dark eyes were.
Not as dark as she had always assumed.
Actually not dark at all. Maybe grey. The lighting is not helping Tori determine the color of Jade's eyes. They look a little blue--oh no, green. Or greenish blue.
"Don't freak out," Jade tells her.
"Wh--"
Jade West is kissing her, Tori Vega.
For the first time in her life, Tori wishes that she could pop her soul out of her body -- just for a little bit -- to witness this unexpected development. Even as it is happening to her, she cannot believe it. Jade West and Tori Vega -- sworn frenemies -- are kissing. On the lips. In a decidedly romantic and definitely non-platonic manner.
Jade grabs onto the waist of Tori's pants through her shirt and pulls her closer, her other hand settling on the small of Tori's back, and the kiss deepens.
Fuck, she is kissing Jade West and it isn't a dream.
This is real life.
She should be in it.
But it is too late, Jade is pulling away and the hand on Tori's waist pushes instead of pulls.
Again, those greenish blue eyes pierce into Tori's soul.
"Good show," Jade says, grinning.
Like a violent splash of cold water, those two monosyllabic words force Tori back to reality.
Right, it was only for show.