Work Text:
Takano could tell from the moment he woke up: it was going to be a good day. The air was charged with the kind of possibility that one only felt on perfect spring mornings like this one. He made himself a coffee and stepped out onto the balcony to have a cigarette. The weather was perfect. The warm spring sunshine cut through the lingering winter chill. He sipped his steaming coffee and closed his eyes.
He used to hate days like this. They were too infused with memories he wanted so badly to forget. This year, though, a certain green-eyed brunet had stalked back into his life. This spring, he had reason to hope. He glanced at the neighboring balcony. The curtains were drawn. It was impossible to determine if Onodera was awake yet.
Takano finished his coffee and went back inside. He showered, dressed, and got ready for work. Just as he was locking the door behind him, the door to the neighboring apartment opened and its tenant stepped into the hallway. Takano’s head swiveled toward apartment 1202 like a flower being drawn to the sun. Wherever Onodera Ritsu was, Takano wanted to be there, too. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to. It might break him in the end, but he’d made his peace with that. He’d rather get burned a second time than live with the knowledge that he had been the one to let go first. “Good morning,” he said.
Takano had come to expect Onodera’s usual glare and he wasn’t disappointed today. “Why do I have to see you first thing in the morning?” the other man grumped.
Takano shrugged. “Just lucky, I guess.” He turned and started for the elevator. “You know, when I was in high school, there was this kid that seemed to really enjoy seeing me first thing in the morning. He’d stalk me all the way to school.”
Onodera’s glare intensified as the elevator doors slid open with a soft ding. “He sounds like an idiot,” the smaller man remarked.
“Oh, he was.” Takano agreed, chuckling as he followed Onodera onto the elevator. The doors slid shut and into the silence Takano softly added, “I missed him when he disappeared, though.”
There was a soft hitch in Onodera’s breathing, but he said nothing.
Takano knew Onodera found his relentless teasing and professions of love aggravating, but he wasn’t about to let up. The last time he failed to make his feelings understood, he lost the one person he needed most. He wouldn’t make that mistake twice. For the last decade he'd wondered what had happened to make Onodera disappear without a word. Now he knew that boy had interpreted an awkward chuckle as a statement of how he'd felt about their relationship. He hated that his inability to properly express himself at the time had hurt Ritsu and cost them both so much.
They walked to the train station in a silence that oscillated from companionable to awkward depending on which thoughts were currently winning the war that raged in Onodera’s head whenever Takano was around.
Takano yawned. “That last cycle was brutal. I’m still exhausted and it’s been three days since we sent everything to the printer.”
Onodera nodded and hummed in agreement, “Even Ichinose-sensei struggled to meet the deadline this month.” Ichinose Erika was the most punctual of all the authors that contributed to their monthly shoujo manga magazine. When she was late it seemed to spread to the other mangaka like a cancer.
On the train platform two young mothers were chatting about the weather. Takano wasn’t the only one who had noticed winter was releasing its grip on the city. The train pulled into the station and the men boarded and claimed two seats. Takano yawned. He needed another coffee. “Have you seen the cherry blossoms this year, Onodera?”
The other man looked up, surprised. Maybe his thoughts had traveled to the season, as well. Or maybe they’d taken him farther. “No! I don’t…ever… it’s not…” He winced and stopped talking. “No," he repeated in a more even tone. "Have you, Takano-san?”
“Not for years. I almost always miss it because of the end of the cycle. Maybe I’ll get a chance this year.”
“It might already be too late,” Onodera pointed out.
Takano sighed. “I know. I was really hoping to see them this year, too.”
Onadera looked thoughtful as they lapsed into a silence that Takano would definitely classify as companionable. He settled in his seat so that his arm was resting against Onodera’s shoulder. Onodera didn’t pull away and Takano had to bite the insides of his lip to keep a smile off his face. Definitely companionable. He yawned again and closed his eyes. He dozed for a bit until Onodera suddenly spoke, “Takano-san! Do you have an early morning meeting?”
Takano opened his eyes.. Onodera was talking fast and there was an urgency in his voice that Takano couldn’t understand. As the train slowed to a stop at the next station he replied, “No. My first meeting is after lunch. Why?”
Onodera grabbed Takano’s sleeve and yanked him into a standing position, “Let’s go.” Without another word, Onodera dragged Takano off the train.
“Oi!” Takano nearly dropped his bag as he struggled to maneuver out of the train car before the door closed. Onodera didn’t release his grip. “Oi, Onodera! What’s going on?”
Onodera looked back at him and smiled. Takano felt his heart stutter to a stop. He’d seen Onodera smile before: on the phone with an author; laughing at something Kisa said. Rarely did Onodera ever turn that smile directly on him. It was almost too much
“Idiot, this isn’t even our stop. We’re blocks away from the office,” Takano protested.
They exited the station and Onodera looked around to get his bearings. “We need coffee. There!”
“Coffee? What’s gotten into you?”
Onodera had made his way to a small café and was holding the door open for Takano. He was bouncing lightly on his toes. “Come on, Takano-san! We’re going to be late!”
“Whose fault is that?” Takano asked under his breath as he walked into the shop.
Ten minutes later, Takano followed Onodera out of the café and down the street. “The train station is back that way,” he pointed out.
“We’re not going to the train. We’re going to work.”
Takano shook his head, but he was smiling. Whatever crazy adventure Onodera had cooked up, he was more than happy to be along for the ride.
“Let’s cross here,” Onodera said after a few blocks and Takano finally realized why he’d been robbed of his nap and dragged off the train. They were standing outside of the city park. Rows and rows of cherry blossom trees stood proudly, the splendor of their not-yet-faded blossoms on glorious display.
Takano gaped. “This is…”
Onodera held out his coffee cup. “Looks like we’re just in time, Takano-san.”
Takano stared at the other man’s profile. “Christ, Onodera. I’ll make a shoujo manga editor out of you, yet.”
Onodera glanced his way and blew out a breath. “Shut up, sir.”
They passed under the park’s stone arch and Takano realized he was holding his breath. He let it out, feeling foolish. Under the trees the light changed. Everything was pink and white. The park was filled with a reverent hush. Even the sounds of the city traffic were muffled. Takano couldn’t get over how surreal it all felt. He’d woken up knowing that something amazing would happen today and here he was, barely two hours later, walking under the cherry blossoms with his first love.
“It’s beautiful,” Onodera commented, distractedly.
Takano glanced over. Onodera's face was turned up to the bright sky, his eyes half closed, a faint blush on his cheeks from the cool spring air. “It is,” he agreed. Takano reached out to lightly graze the smaller man’s wrist with his fingertips. Onodera extended his own fingers toward Takano’s, their fingers sliding together and away.
They were nearing the edge of the park. Soon they’d turn onto the main road and Marukawa Publishing would be in view. For the first time in his life, Takano wished for a longer commute.
Onodera was also wishing they weren’t nearing the end of their walk. It had been exactly ten years since he’d been able to appreciate the beauty of cherry blossoms. He was remembering a certain train crossing that everyone complained was too long, but that could never be long enough for him. The longer the train took, the more time he could spend gazing at his senpai.
For three years he’d been hopelessly in love with the older boy. Had read every book he’d ever checked out of the library. He knew what the dark haired boy liked to read. He knew what he looked like staring out of the library window. He knew that sometimes he looked bored and other times heartbreakingly lonely. He knew that he’d recently rescued an abandoned kitten.
The list of things he didn’t know was longer. He didn’t know why he chose the books he chose. He didn’t know why he spent so much time in the library alone. He didn’t know what made him feel so sad and lonely. He didn’t know what he’d named the cat.
He didn’t know how to cross the twenty foot expanse between them and speak to the object of his teenage obsession.
15-year-old Onodera Ritsu would have given anything in the world to be able to walk by Takano’s side instead of skulking several feet back trying to stay out of sight. Ten years ago, simply talking to Takano would have sent him over the moon.
Then for a few weeks it did.
The cat was called Sorata. His parents were hardly ever home, so he stayed in the library for as long as he could to avoid going home to an empty house. He liked sandwiches and iced tea and short stories by Usami Akihiko. He liked to kiss with his mouth open and he tasted like oolong and mint.
Onodera learned what senpai’s bed smelled like. What movies he liked. What it felt like to run his fingers through his dark hair. He learned how make him smile, but never ceased to be amazed that he possessed the ability. He know how his name sounded on Takano’s lips. The look on his face when he told him he loved him. The way it felt when Takano came inside him.
He learned so much, but it wasn’t enough. Would never be enough. There was so much more to know.
And then he learned what it felt like to have your heart broken.
Onodera shook his head. Why was he so fixated on that one one moment out of all the countless others they’d shared? Besides, hadn’t they already cleared up the misunderstanding from back then? Why was he still pushing Takano away? Why couldn’t he push past the fear that Takano would hurt him again, with the knowledge that Takano had never done anything to hurt him in the first place. Onodera had been wrong.
Hadn’t Takano done so much to prove how much he wanted to be together? How much he still loved him? Sure, maybe Takano wasn’t the perfect hero right off the pages of a manga, but when had Onodera ever expected perfection from his senpai?
Once, back when they were dating, Takano had asked Onodera why he loved him. He'd replied that it would take three days to lay it all out. That was as true now as it was then. He’d never loved anyone else. He could spend the rest of his life learning about Takano Masamune and it still wouldn’t be enough. He should really just-
“What are you thinking about?” Takano asked, interrupting his thoughts.
“Oh, it would take too long to explain. Probably three days.”
Takano stopped walking. He opened his mouth. Then he closed it.
Onodera turned back to him. He cocked his head to the side and reached up to pluck a sakura petal from Takano’s hair. “I’m going to the library after work," he said. "You wanna come?”
Takano could only nod. He felt like his heart was beating right out of his chest. He was sure Onodera could hear it.
“Good.” Onodera turned away, still smiling. “It’s a date.”
“What’s this then? Is this a date, too?”
“This?” Onodera looked up at him. He chuckled softly and plucked another cherry blossom petal out of the taller man’s hair. He held it up for Takano to see. “This is nostalgic. The last time I saw you with cherry blossoms in your hair we were...” Onodera trailed off, his eyes going wide, and a blush spreading across his cheeks as he remembered exactly what they were doing that spring afternoon. He coughed once, spun around, and strode away, adorably flustered.
Takano grinned. “What?” He called after him. “Finish your thought. We were...”
“W- We were IN HIGH SCHOOL!” the younger man shouted over his shoulder.
Takano chuckled. He caught up to Onodera in three long strides. He brushed his fingers along the cuffs of his jacket. “Onodera,” he said in a low voice. The other man’s strides slowed.
Takano leaned closer and said, “Thank you, for this morning. I’m glad I was able to see the cherry blossoms with the person I love.”
Onodera didn’t say anything for a long minute and Takano thought maybe he wouldn’t reply. Then Onodera’s hand tightened on the strap of his messenger bag and he said, “You’re welcome, Takano-san. I-I’m glad it’s not too late.”
It wasn’t a confession, but Takano edited romance manga for a living. He could read between the lines. Onodera might not be ready to say the words, but he wasn’t scared to express his affection in other ways. Everything in their profession was based on showing, not telling and Onodera was proving himself a more than competent editor.
Of all the love stories Takano had ever read, this one was his favorite.