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Fear.
That was the first thing Jungsu felt as he began to wake up, suddenly remembering his current situation. He groaned, his body hurting as he tried to sit up. His back feels as if it's on fire, and he couldn't help but think that the last time he felt somewhat close to this amount of pain was after his car accident. He moved to look at his body. He can imagine that he looks terrible, but other than his clothes looking as if he had walked through another world war, he was fine. He wouldn't be surprised if the skin underneath was now covered in bruises though.
There was smoke and ash in the air, painfully tickling Jungsu's throat. He coughed, feeling his throat burning at the sudden action, while pushing himself up into a sitting position.
As he tried to ignore the painful ringing in his ears, he tried focusing his mind, trying to get the slightest idea of what happened.
He looked around, noticing the ruins that he was now laying in. His now dirty clothes had matched the conditions of the walls and what was left of the ceiling. There were other people there, Jungsu soon remembered. He saw them now, all just as confused and shocked as he was most likely. A few people were unconscious, and Jungsu decided to play ignorant, not wanting to know if those people had died.
At this moment, there was no way for Jungsu to describe the situation except for that fact that he suddenly felt like he was in movie. A scene where the protaginist is trapped after surviving a recent explosion.
Jungsu quickly realized that those moments only looked cool in the movies.
Living it in real life felt like the beginning of a horrid nightmare.
Jungsu and Heechul had come here together. That's the next thing Jungsu remembered. The two of them had realized that it had been a while since they had hung out, and Heechul proposed that they took a trip to the mall. Jungsu had no problem with that, though he was a bit tired and really didn't feel like spending his free time at the mall. But he saw how eager Heechul had been, and couldn't find it in his heart to say no.
It seemed like they had chosen the worst time to go. They had only been in the mall for half an hour before there was a bang, horrid screams following the sound. Heechul and Jungsu looked at each other in confusion before another loud bang sounded, more screams afterward. Jungsu finally realized what was going on as he suddenly felt the ground slightly shake under his feet at the impact. Before he could grab Heechul's wrist and start running to somewhere safe, there was another bang before everything went black.
Jungsu moaned as more fragments of what happened minutes before continued to play in his head. He froze, realizing that Heechul wasn't next to him like before. "Heechul," he said, wondering where his friend had gone.
There was a silence. It made Jungsu feel uncomfortable.
Why wasn't Heechul answering?
"H-Heechul," Jungsu said a little louder, finding more strength.
He started to look around, his manners frantic. He didn't care if he looked like a maniac at this point.
He just wanted to find his friend.
Jungsu grunted as he started forcing himself to stand up. Jungsu is dizzy, stumbling a bit as he stood, but he immediately shakes the dizziness away. Looking around, he noticed that other people were also trying to pick themselves off the ground, probably having the same agenda Jungsu had right now.
Look for the person important to you.
"Kim Heechul!" Jungsu tried yelling, ignoring the burn in his throat as he did so. He coughed again, looking around before his vision caught something that made his eyes widen.
There were slabs of something laying on the ground. Jungsu wasn't sure of what it was, debris maybe, but he had a feeling that they had fallen from the ceiling.
They had fallen from the ceiling and crushed his friend.
"Heechul!" Jungsu yelled, running towards that direction. All the pain in his body was gone now. Adrenaline pumped as all he could think about was getting Heechul out of the pile he had managed to get stuck under.
Jungsu fell onto his knees, immediately beginning to use his hands to shovel the pieces that had buried Heechul. He felt something cutting at his hands, but he ignored the pain as he struggled to move the larger pieces.
He wasn't sure where he found the strength, but he felt his body drain of all energy once he had gotten the last piece off of Heechul's chest.
The younger one was unconscious. Jungsu didn't have to check for a pulse; he already heard Heechul's painful wheezes. There are some cuts on Heechul's face, ones that Jungsu knows that Heechul won't be happy about later on. Dirt had covered his face and clothes, just like Jungsu.
With shaky hands, Jungsu started smacking at Heechul's noticeably pale face, trying to wake him up.
Panic.
Jungsu was glad Heechul was alive.
But with this current situation, Jungsu wasn't sure how long that would be a fact.
And that very thought made Jungsu's heart begin to pound so much faster.
"Heechul-ah!" Jungsu yelled desperately. He grabbed Heechul's shoulders, gently shaking the unconscious one before hearing a weak groan. Jungsu paused, his eyes widening again. "Heechul?"
Heechul's eyelids began fluttering, and every second felt like a decade to Jungsu before Heechul's glazed eyes opened half way, staring blankly.
Heechul's lips started moving, his ability to speak shockingly gone.
Jungsu started running his fingers through Heechul's hair, almost gasping as he felt his fingers become coated with a warm liquid.
"J-Jung...su?" Heechul says weakly. He coughs right after, his chest heaving as he tried to inhale between each cough.
"It's okay," Jungsu says softly, wanting Heechul's pain to stop, but not knowing what to do. "I'm here with you and we'll get out of here soon, okay?"
Heechul nods, too tired to give a verbal response.
Jungsu looks around, searching for something to help his friend, but finding nothing.
It was during the process of that that Jungsu heard good news and bad news.
Good news was that someone had called for help.
The bad news was that the entrances were blocked by large debris that would inevitably keep them trapped until further notice, making the fire department's job much harder.
Jungsu's attention was placed back on Heechul upon hearing a pained groan escape the other one's lips. "Yah!" Jungsu yelled as he watched Heechul's eyelids fluttering closed. He started smacking his face again. "Stay awake!"
Heechul sighed, trying to obey Jungsu's orders. "Hyung," he groaned. "E-everything... hurts."
Jungsu watched as Heechul's face scrunched up in pain. "I know. I know," Jungsu replied, his demeanor sympathetic. "It all hurts but you can't fall asleep on me, okay?"
"'Kay," Heechul whispered in reply.
"I mean it, Heechul," Jungsu said.
Heechul nodded slightly. "I know," he replies halfheartedly, though he tries his hardest to sound strong so that he can calm Jungsu down a bit. He shifts his gaze to what's left of the ceiling above him. Heechul swallowed before slowly looking back to Jungsu. "Are you hurt?"
Jungsu bit his lip. He shook his head, confused as to why he suddenly felt his eyes threatening to tear up. "I'm okay," he answered. "Just a little bruised but it's not bad."
And at that statement, Jungsu swears that he sees a small smile forming on Heechul's lips. "Good," Heechul said, as if suddenly content with everything else in the world. "I...I was worried about you when it all started." Heechul coughed, causing Jungsu to wince. "You were scared weren't you?"
Jungsu nods, mostly because hearing Heechul as he struggled to speak made Jungsu feel as if his throat was closing up as well.
Jungsu is pulled to his senses as he sees Heechul's eyes start to close again. "Heechul!" he yells as he gently hits him, earning a groan of pain from Heechul.
Jungsu suddenly becomes guilty. If his own body was in this much pain, then the pain Heechul must be feeling must be a hundred times worse.
"I'm sorry, Chullie," Jungsu says. He's not exactly sure why he felt the need to apologize, or why he would feel guilty trying to make sure that his friend stays alive, but he does, and that makes this whole thing so much harder. "But you need to stay awake, okay?"
Heechul didn't say anything after that. He simply turned away, hissing in pain in the process.
"Be careful," Jungsu pleaded.
Heechul heavily exhales, wondering what Jungsu's definition of being careful was in this current situation. He knew that Jungsu was just saying that so that he wouldn't be in anymore pain, but in all honesty, the pain Heechul was feeling now was indescribable, and whether he was "careful" or not, his body would still react negatively.
"Was it a bomb?" Heechul finally asks, still confused as to how he went from nagging and shopping with Jungsu, to this. It's probably due to the head injury, Heechul isn't too sure why this happens, but as he tries to remember what happened earlier, all he can remember is hearing Jungsu barely let out a scream before Heechul loses everything.
And that same scream keeps playing in his head.
Heechul moaned again, his head rolling back and forth as he tries to keep his eyes open but fails miserably.
And Jungsu suddenly feels his hands becoming sweaty as he feels like he has no idea what to do.
He bites his lip, grabbing Heechul's hand tightly, but not too tight. He didn't want to hurt Heechul anymore than he already was.
"Ugh," Heechul groaned. "We didn't buy Kyuhyun's game. That brat's gonna kill us."
Jungsu knows what Heechul is doing, and even though Jungsu mentally face palms because yes, they really needed to buy a video game for Kyuhyun, and said person did threaten to do very terrible things to them in their sleep if they failed in getting what he wanted, Jungsu knows that Heechul is just trying to distract the both of them from the painful situation they had found themselves in. And while Jungsu is happy that despite all of this, Heechul is still pretty calm, Jungsu can't seem to take his mind of Heechul's pain right now, no matter how hard he tried and no matter how much Heechul would have hated him doing so.
But respecting Heechul's wishes, Jungsu plays along. He lets out a small laugh. "Did you know he made coffee for me?" he asks Heechul.
Heechul's eyes slightly widen in surprise. "Really?" he asks in amazement. "Wow. He really wanted that game, huh?"
Jungsu shrugged. "You could say that," he replied. "He put about five spoons of salt instead of sugar." Jungsu laughs again. "After I started choking on it, he told me to consider myself warned, and then walked out of the room."
Heechul nodded. "Okay," he said. "That's much more believable."
"He didn't even make me a new cup," Jungsu continued with a pout.
Heechul sighed. "You're too naive sometimes," he said. "Why would you accept anything from Kyuhyun, knowing what he's capable of?"
"I consider myself lucky," Jungsu replied. "He could have used anything besides salt."
"He must have been in a good mood," Heechul replied, causing Jungsu to smile again.
But Jungsu quickly wiped the smile off of his face as Heechul started coughing, his face scrunched up in pain. He inhaled sharply, noticing Jungsu's worried look. "I'm okay," Heechul says right after he gets his breath back, but Jungsu's anxiety doesn't settle.
Jungsu looks around again, seeing more and more people moving around, confused, scared, desperate.
"Jungsu," Heechul said, causing the other one to quickly shift his gaze. "Is help gonna come? Are we gonna get out?"
Jungsu feels a lump forming in his throat. He knows why Heechul is suddenly asking this.
Heechul really wants to get out of here, because his pain is getting worse.
Jungsu resumes his action of fingering Heechul's hair. He nods. "Help's coming soon," he promised.
"I don't feel too well," Heechul says, his faces growing slightly pale.
Jungsu knows it's the concussion, and he once again feels helpless because he has no idea what to do.
"Once you get to the hospital, they'll take care of it," Jungsu promises. He's sure once Heechul gets taken to a hospital, everything will get better.
But Jungsu is frustrated because time seemed to be moving so slow, and whatever rescue they were supposed to get, wasn't coming fast enough.
Anger.
Jungsu is tired of waiting. He knows he sounds a bit selfish, but he can't stand the fact that Heechul was left here suffering.
Jungsu knows that there are still other people in the building, and some of them were probably in worse shape than they were.
But his mind was only focused on Heechul. Jungsu didn't care about what happened to everyone else. It didn't matter to him as long as Heechul was able to come out okay.
"Jungsu," Heechul says suddenly, the older one immediately sensing the younger one's worry. "Y-you're bleeding. I didn't notice until now."
Jungsu gives Heechul a confused look.
"Your...your shoulder."
Jungsu suddenly realizes what Heechul is talking about, and wonders how he didn't notice until now. He looks at his left shoulder, suddenly feeling the pain that he didn't realize was there.
"I'm okay," Jungsu replies. "It's just a scratch."
It really wasn't as bad as Heechul made it out to be, so Jungsu ignores it.
Heechul laughs weakly, causing Jungsu to once again look at him in a puzzled manner. "Hyukjae told me that you didn't know you were hurt...after the car accident."
Jungsu swallowed.
"Shindong and Hyukjae had to tell you," Heechul continues. "You were so busy worrying about the others." Heechul shook his head, a small smile still on his face. "Idiot," he mutters, though he doesn't think Jungsu is an idiot at all.
Jungsu smiles this time.
Heechul groans as he starts moving, causing Jungsu's eyes to widen as he attempts to hold himself up by his elbows.
"Heechul-ah," Jungsu says in concern. "Stop. What are you doing?"
But Heechul ignores him, continuing to try to sit up. He falters, losing all strength to hold himself up successfully.
But Jungsu catches him, holding him in his arms as he continues to give Heechul a frightened look.
Heechul smiles again, his head leaning on Jungsu's chest. "That's better," he says softly.
Jungsu continues holding him, moving to cradle him a little.
"There was something stabbing my back," Heechul began to explain. "It hurt."
"Are you still hurting?" Jungsu asks. "You could have really aggravated your injuries. You shouldn't have been moving like that."
Heechul shook his head. "I'm good now," he answers. "Let's just stay like this until help comes, okay?"
Jungsu nods.
Heechul sighs, content. "Yeah. This feels better."
Jungsu supposes that he should be satisfied right now; holding Heechul, alive, in his arms as they both resided in some kind of peace.
But in all honesty, he's not.
Heechul moves again, causing Jungsu to jump a little as he tightens his hold on the younger one.
"You okay?" Jungsu asks, even though he knew that's a stupid question.
Heechul still nods though. "You should stop worrying so much," he adds. "Soon we'll be back home again hanging out with the others as if nothing happened."
Jungsu laughs, somewhat bitterly. "I know," he replied. "I'm just mad that we won't be there on time for Ryeowook's cooking."
"He always gets upset when we don't eat his food," Heechul pointed out. "He takes it personally. Poor guy."
"I think he'll understand this time," Jungsu replied with a smile.
Heechul nodded.
Jungsu sighs.
"They're taking a little long, aren't they?" Heechul asks, noticing Jungsu's behavior.
Jungsu bites his lip before nodding slowly.
"Worrying isn't going to make them come any faster," Heechul pointed out.
"I know," Jungsu replies with another sigh.
"Then why bother?" Heechul asks.
Jungsu scoffs. "It's not like there's much else I can do," he says bitterly.
"Just talk to me," Heechul said. "It's helping me a lot. Just the fact that you're here is helping me."
Heechul's words have an odd calming effect on Jungsu, but that still doesn't stop the hate he has for himself for being so weak. He's the hyung for crying out loud! It's his job, his responsibility, to make sure all of his dongsaengs were safe and taken care of.
"If you were in my place," Heechul continues. "Would you want me worrying about you as much as you're worrying about me right now?"
They both know the answer, so they just stare at each other in silence.
"It'll...it'll be okay," Heechul says softly.
Jungsu is alarmed by Heechul's sudden drop in strength, and is scared, scared but not surprised, when he looks down to get a proper view of Heechul's face and notices Heechul's eyes start drooping closed again.
"Hey," Jungsu calls him gently, slightly shaking him. "Wake up, we're getting out soon." Jungsu says that, even though he he gets even angrier that Heechul is still waiting for the help he desperately needs. Jungsu knows his mind is playing tricks on him, which stresses himself out even more. His sense of time is completely messed up by now, and he's highly aware of that, but he still can't help but feel upset that their rescue was taking it's sweet time in coming.
"I know," Heechul replies to his statement. "That's why I'm not worried."
Jungsu smiles. "Good," he says, trying to sound strong but failing miserably.
If Heechul noticed, he kept it to himself, because all he did was shift a little in Jungsu's arms before settling again.
And the two of them sit in silence, Jungsu, once again feeling as if their silence had lasted an hour or so. But that silence is cut of as Heechul coughs again, followed by him constantly inhaling in an effort to catch his breath.
Jungsu feels Heechul's body tensing up, and he slowly rubs circles on Heechul's back, hoping that would help somewhat.
Heechul moans, slightly burying his face into Jungsu's chest.
Still, Jungsu says nothing. He's running out of things to say. There's no more 'it's okay', 'we'll be out soon', 'just hold on', or 'everything will be alright', because he's said and thought those things several times already, and he's sure Heechul has been thinking the same way.
At the same time, Jungsu doesn't want to be pessimistic, but in this current situation, it's a little challenging.
"Do you hear that?" Heechul asks suddenly, causing Jungsu to look at the younger one in hopes of gaining a further explanation.
Jungsu was so deep in his thoughts that all he could really hear was the beating of his own heartbeat, as well as Heechul still struggling to breathe. But Jungsu pauses, waiting patiently, before finally hearing sounds that he had wanted to hear this whole time.
Help had come.
Jungsu smiles, holding Heechul tighter before loosening his grip, remembering that Heechul was still really hurt. "Sorry," he apologizes once he realizes what he had done.
Heechul smiles. "It's okay, Hyung. You're happy and so am I."
Jungsu sees strangers, people he now views as heroes, coming closer to them as they all searched the building. Jungsu yells in order to grab their attention, and rejoices when two of them notice him and Heechul.
They rush towards Heechul and Jungsu, one of them calling for back up for Heechul.
They throw questions at the two of them, mostly asking what injuries they might have.
Jungsu grows irritated as they continue to ask him about his health when clearly, it's Heechul that needs more help.
Suddenly, the hours that seemed to have slowly ticked by were replaced by fast seconds. Everything was starting to be a blur for Jungsu as he saw paramedics coming their way.And even though Jungsu wants nothing more than to hold Heechul in his arms for a little while longer, he lets them take him, placing him on a gurney as Jungsu asks, or really, begs desperately, that he rides with them. He didn't want to be alone, and he didn't want to leave Heechul alone either.
Heechul joins in the pleads, insisting that he needs Jungsu or he'll die, and Jungsu wants to laugh at Heechul's melodramatic behavior, but it works, and Jungsu is told that he can still stay by Heechul's side.
Jungsu moves to stand, wobbling a little as he finally gets on his own two feet. The medics give him a concerned look, but he instantly brushes it off as he follows them to the nearest ambulance.
Outside, there are already news crews reporting the incident, and Jungsu could hear the words "possible terrorist attack" come from the mouth of one of the anchors.
Jungsu feels as if he takes too long in climbing into the back of the ambulance, but when he finally does, he sits down with a heavy sigh. He grips Heechul's hand tightly, causing the younger one to look at him, a weak smile plastered on his face.
"Thank you," Heechul whispers before finally losing consciousness, even though Jungsu swears that a ghost of his smile is still on Heechul's face.
Jungsu wants to panic some more, but one of the paramedics next to him speaks up.
"Your friend will be fine," he promises.
And for some reason, Jungsu is content with that simple statement. Tears form at his eyes but he doesn't shed them. Instead of fear or pain, he feels something else, and it feels good.
He feels relief.