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Fuck Iruka support group.
Yea, he isn’t blind or short-sighted, the words read correctly.
The paper is in his hand, the words "Fuck Iruka support group” in red, the sky is blue, the grass is green and Hatake Kakashi wants to fuck Umino Iruka.
Should he be concerned that there’s literally a wannabe Iruka fuckers group?
Yes because he himself is also a Iruka fucker, but that doesn’t mean he wants to be in a group of Iruka fuckers. There is a thin line between a hobby and an activist.
So as a non-official number #1 Iruka fucker, Kakashi decides to join the group to investigate whether or not the activities are legal.
After all, he has to, for Iruka’s safety.
6 months before.
Imagine his surprised and non-surprised face which he somehow manages to made is beyond the universe itself.
Mizuki literally created a Fuck Iruka Group.
At first, he thought it was a joke. Heck! The paper looked like a fucking joke itself: it was atrociously written with a calligraphy that should have not belonged to a school teacher, filled with such a strong and distasteful language that Iruka had to file a complaint directly to the Hokage. Sure, he could've gone to the principal about it, but the old man's punishments were always better. Seeing the asshole being ordered to clean his poorly designed advertisement off of every Academy wall (and half of Konoha's alleys) was not only fun, but immensely satisfying to watch.
So yes, Mizuki decided to continue the group and this time, he puts the papers on some shady alley’s wall because like god knows hell if Iruka decided to rat him out again.
Mizuki didn’t think about Iruka would change the locations of those group invites ‘letters’.
It would be fun to do so.
Nonetheless, if Mizuki was still adamant about the Fuck Iruka Group, he might as well join it.
“Welcome to the ‘Fuck Iruka support group’, where we gather to say a collective 'fuck you’ to that stupid asshole.”
Umino Iruka became the first member of “Fuck Iruka Group” under a disguise and the name Doi Hansuke. And that was the first words he said to him, kinda a bland intro in his opinions.
The meeting place was just some random dango shop. And Iruka listened to Mizuki complain about himself while he didn’t know the man he hated sat right in front of him.
It was amusing to no end.
Iruka nodded and agreed when necessary, only debunking the crude remarks. Insults are only insults until it turns into a fuel of hate and violence inside a person if not controlled properly.
A ‘fine’ face only gets Mizuki half of his attention.
Izumo and Kotetsu never really understand why his type is always a cocky, arrogant, prideful, bastard, bonus with white, black or blue hair.
Just because his type are typical asshole men doesn’t mean he is attracted to stupidity.
A week had passed and no new member joined beside him. Mizuki was frustrated and Iruka enjoyed himself with a free meal to celebrate the one week birthday of the group. He never knew Mizuki actually gave a shit about the group or his pettiness ran that deep, maybe he should help the poor guy.
“You know, it has been a week and there hasn’t been anyone joining.”
Mizuki scoffed, “Tsk, thanks for the obvious, Doi.”
“Hey now, look, I get it. You hate Iruka, I also hate Iruka. Heck, everyone can barely stand the guy! Shouting at the poor hard-working men just because their papers are dirty or not filled correctly.”
To be honest, sometimes Iruka thinks they enjoy listening to his rants and insults.
“But maybe you should put something on the papers? Like a motivation for people to join?”
“If you talked about the colour full of insults of motivation then the last time I did it, the bitch ratted me out.”
Serve you right for posting those in school.
“Well, it was in school so even if he didn’t do it, other people will see it and file a complaint.” Cutting the steak into a small piece, putting meat covered in the sweet delicious sauce in his mouth. Warm and slick, greasy meat melted into his tongue.
Iruka moans out, “Fuck, this is delicious! Where did you get enough money to book a place for this one?”
Mizuki only snorted and replied, “Coupons are not that hard to get.”
Right, either Mizuki cheated, did some shady shit or actually bought the coupons.
“I have an idea, I can guarantee there will be more people to join.”
At first, Mizuki didn’t believe him but decided to try it out and now, there are almost 50 members in the group. Mizuki has to work extra to rent a big room for the members meeting every week and giving coupons to a high quality restaurant to monthly members and that’s a lot.
The first few joined in were definitely in just for the coupons and they stayed in the group just for those.
Like right now, Mizuki is ranting about how much of an asshole Iruka is and one guy is like, "Yeah yeah he is awful. Where are the coupons?"
He didn't think the group would grow this big, much less 50 members.
Heck, some of them even had a look of "should we stay or nah?" after Mizuki introduced them and heard the purposes of the group.
The first few he had conversation with literally just wanted those free coupons.
The rest were… Iruka didn't know why the fuck they're still staying. He talked to them (mostly listened) only getting information about his life, his sex life or just talked shit about him in a weird way.
"Also, do you know if he is gay? And his type? I bet... he has really bad taste."
Well, I definitely am not dating you so my taste is fine.
"Do you think he's into threesome? Asking for research!"
I will consider it.
"Have you seen how he treats those kids? He looks disgustingly grossly cute doing that like he is a- a"
"A mother hen?"
"Yesh! So stupidly cute! What was he thinking!? Trying to steal everyone's hearts like that!!!"
What kind of insult is that?
"I agree with what Mizuki said about Iruka."
Uh huh, good for you.
"Doesn't mean I won't fuck him if he asked."
...righttttt.
Well, that's about it. Free coupons unite everyone!
Leaning against the wall, mulling over his drink and observing the room. Today is the 6th month birthday of the group and Iruka is pretty happy about it. He gets free meals every week, free coupons, watching Mizuki struggling with his finances and his hate for him. And today, Mizuki gave him 2 free coupons for all those months staying and supporting him and the group.
He damn well earned it.
"Izumo, do you think Iruka would be mad at us if we joined?"
"Come on Kotetsu! We are only looking, not actually joining… and of course Iruka wouldn't be mad if he knew we joined but we're not."
No, he won't even be mad because if he knew about the existence of the group much later, he himself would join just for the heck of it. Doesn't mean he isn't gonna drop the bomb on them later and watch their faces paled.
A tap on the mic gets everyone's attention. Mizuki stands on the stage, beside him is Hatake Kakashi.
Figure.
"Welcome to the ‘Fuck Iruka support group’, where we gather to say a collective 'fuck you’ to that stupid asshole. But first, a few words from our newest member."
The group is public to join, no children allowed of course. The room is big with a small stage in the far middle, two long tables with food and drinks, chairs neatly tiled up in a corner with few using them, most just standing.
Kakashi was surprised to find out Mizuki was the owner and creator of the group. It ignites a tiny flame of jealousy inside him, knowing he and Iruka are both Academy Instructors, easy to see each other and working together.
He follows Mizuki on the stage as it is the first step to join the group in front of the old members and talks about his opinions about Iruka.
"Welcome to the ‘Fuck Iruka support group’, where we gather to say a collective 'fuck you’ to that stupid asshole."
…
…
Wait what?
This isn't what he expected when he joined!
If Kakashi wasn't in panic mode, he would notice some face looking at him saying "First time?"
And if he is actually looking, there are some familiar faces in the crowd.
"But first, a few words from our newest member."
And now he is full-on panicking, him, Hatake Kakashi is fucking panicking and sweating nervously. “I think I may have misunderstood the purpose of this group…”
Because of course he was a horny idiot and listened to his dick, there was no way such a group like that existed. Maybe he’s the only Iruka fucker in here and the rest are bunch of anti.
Wait, he did come here to investigate to see if the activities are actually legal and for Iruka’s safety.
To save some (cover)face and for Iruka future’s protection.
Kakashi uncover his sharingan.
“But boy am I happy to be here…”
Iruka sighs sadly, there went his weekly free meal, monthly coupons and a good show.
All thanks to the great Hatake Kakashi.
“Iruka-sensei! This steak is delicious! Can we come here again next time? Please please?”
Oh well, at least Naruto is happy.
Iruka smiles, “So ramen is not your favorite food anymore?”
“Of course it is! But well, this isn’t bad either.”
Iruka laughs, seeing Naruto shyly begging to come here again when the food is still half-eaten is so precious. Of course Iruka will take him here next time.
Ruffling the spiky blond hair through his fingers, Iruka smiles. “Of course we can come here next time.”
He had his fun anyway.
And the rest?
Well, he may or may not have reported to the Hokage about it and what its purpose was. After all, if the group actually gains some spiteful people, leading them scheming how to get rid of him in the future. It’s better to stop them at once.
Still though, when they found out it was him who reported to the Hokage. Only Mizuki was furious with him while others either didn't make eye-contact with him or avoided him. Even Genma who was previously in the group just for gossip didn’t dare talk to him.
Some of them looked pale when talking to him out of obligation about the mission reports.
Are they actually scared that he’s mad at them or something?
“Yo Iruka-sensei.”
Of course, only Kakashi isn't afraid of talking to him. Who would even be afraid talking to him anyway?
And given the fact it was Kakashi sabotaged the group, injured some, destroyed the place and ruined his weekly fun show.
Iruka still smiles at him, his hand receives the paper from him.
“Kakashi-sensei, you’re back early.”
Because Kakashi somewhat cares about his well-being, the fact he wreaked havoc on the group just for him, kinda romantic in a way.
“Maa, the mission wasn’t that difficult.”
He’s also one of the Jounin who didn't make shit reports so that’s a bonus.
“Sensei, I uh, I have a few coupons for this really amazing place, high quality food. I’m wondering if you are free tonight to go out with me, it’s to discuss the- uhh- umm--”
Did Kakashi steal those coupons? Bought them? Was giving as a reward?
Either way, free food!
“So it’s a date then, meet me at my house at 7pm.”
Time seemed to stop after his words, everyone in the room stopped breathing and stared in shock.
Hatake Kakashi just got a date with Umino Iruka.
“Next please.”
“So the rumor is true? Hatake-san is officially dating our Ruka-chan!?”
“This is why we should destroy that rip-off group in the first place! Now our Ruka-chan puts Hatake on the savior pedestal, it should be us instead!”
“I will miss you Ruka-chan, you always have my heart.”
“Enough! All of you, this isn’t the time to cry! We should be happy our Ruka-chan finally found someone because we are too damn cowardly to confess.”
“Sigh, the leader is right, instead of mourning our chance and loss, we should from now on watch Iruka live a happy life!”
“Well, do we need to changed our group name from ‘Fuck Iruka-chan Group’ to something else?”
“What? Because it sounds like an insult?”
“Of course it sounds like an insult, that’s why I told you guys we should change it into ‘Iruka-chan Fuckers’ in the first place!”
“Eh, we're bad at naming anyway.”
“Ok, the meeting ends today, meet up again next week.”
With that, the Anbu group disappeared.