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October.
A month that Emma used to dread and drink herself to the point of blacking out in hopes of forgetting it entirely. A month that reminded her with every lonely birthday that she was getting older and as the temperatures dropped came the bitter reminder of how she was discarded on the side of the road. Unwanted. A month that also kicked off the holiday seasons, even if unofficial. A month that loved to just shove it in her that she was alone. If there was an October Grinch, it was Emma Swan, and it was a hill she was prepared to die on.
Until.
Until.
Well, until Regina.
Now as the temps drop in Storybrooke, the air a bit crisper, the leaves a little more orange, and the days a little shorter- Emma found herself with a spring in her step and excitement bubbling under the surface. The chill in the air meant the return of Emma’s beloved beanies, her leather jackets, extra hot cocoa, nights in front of the fireplace (making love to) with Regina. But also? The holidays.
The first Halloween with Regina, well, their first Halloween as a couple, and like everything else with the woman, the holidays too, just clicked into place. Emma got it. The excitement, the parties, the decorations, the costumes. She wanted to do it all.
Regina on the other hand….. was a little harder to convince.
“No,” Regina replied, not even looking up from the Storybrooke daily newspaper, uninterested in Emma’s Halloween ramble about decorating the outside of the mansion. Emma’s argument would be a lot more convincing if the setting sun wasn’t reflecting off her woman, the golden reflection illuminating the chestnut locks and making honey out of brown eyes, Emma was sure, when Regina looked up at her. Even with the dipping temperature it didn’t deter her girlfriend from wearing that blue silk blouse with too many damn buttons undone which really wasn’t helping Emma’s argument.
“Cmon, Regina! It’ll be fun.”
“Please, Miss Swan,” Emma ignored that, knowing she was trying to get under her skin, “enlighten me on what’s so fun about All Hallow’s Eve?”
“Oh my god, nothing when you say it like that.” Regina’s lips formed a hard line and she went to pick back up her paper but Emma was relentless. “I mean, you know.” Emma’s hands waved around wildly, maybe because she was grasping. “It’s an escape from the realities of everyday life. You can take everyday problems and turn them into ghosts and monsters and…. stuff.”
Regina was unimpressed. “Monsters? You forget, we live in Storybrooke, dear. That’s a normal Tuesday here.”
Emma opened and closed her mouth. Okay, she had a point. Regina- 1, Emma- 0. But it had been awhile since they had had any big creature to fight. Things in Storybrooke had been quiet.
“Aren’t you a little too old to be getting this into Halloween?”
Emma gasped. Oh no she didn’t. “Since when is there an age limit on Halloween?”
“Our son doesn’t even trick or treat anymore.”
Emma was well aware. She missed all the free candy and eating most of it when he was asleep.
“That’s because you raised a damn nerd.”
It was at that moment said son came skipping down the stairs.
“I’m not a nerd, I’m thirteen.”
Okay so he heard that.
“Yeah? Well like Halloween, being nerdy doesn’t have an age limit.”
Try as she might, Emma caught Regina trying to suppress a smile. Maybe things were shifting in her favor.
“Whatever. Halloween’s still cool.” Henry shrugged.
Things were definitely shifting in Emma’s favor and Regina saw the exact moment the little wheels in Emma’s head started turning. Emma suddenly was behind her son, grabbing him by the shoulders and taking him by surprise, using him as leverage. “See!” Her eyebrows were doing that thing that caused her forehead to wrinkle in that cute way when she smiled, Regina was gonna lose. “Halloween is cool and everyone will love it. I’ll bet we get the most trick or treaters ever.” Emma paused before mock glaring at her son “For the non nerds who still trick or treat.”
Henry snorted. “One trick or treater would be the most trick or treaters ever here.”
Emma frowned, confused. “You’ve never had trick or treaters?”
“Are you kidding? Before everyone was too scared of mom to even come ring the doorbell. It was like this was a Haunted House all on it’s own.”
Regina stiffened slightly and Emma’s senses were all too aware.
The back of her throat suddenly felt way too thick and her stomach twisted, despite Regina’s present disdain for all things Halloween, Emma now knew of the other woman’s love for children and the thought of her buying candy with no one to give it to…. Well, it caused her mouth to do that thin little angry thing. “Their loss.”
Her son just shrugged, and it’s such an Emma mannerism that Regina has to busy herself with the newspaper or she’ll break. “I didn’t mind. Just meant more candy for me.”
Regina sniffed, trying to appear unaffected. “Yes, well, people in this town used to understand personal space and what was good for them. I can’t imagine what changed…”
Emma squeezed Henry’s shoulders before slinking from behind him to plop down next to Regina on the sofa in her said personal space and laid her head on her shoulder.
“Oh you mean when a dashing, studly Savior came to town, melting the elusive Mayor’s heart and everyone learning she wasn’t the Evil Queen she was made out to be?”
Regina’s eyes softened and Emma knew she had won. Not that what she said wasn’t true. “Perhaps, that. Yes.”
“Soooooo, it wouldn’t be so bad if the studly savior put out a few decorations would it? “ Emma batted her eyelashes.
“It’d be cool, mom.” If this was football Emma would be throwing the ball to the ground at the goalpost and doing some kind of dance because the kid just scored her a touchdown.
Regina sighed, “I suppose a few wouldn’t hurt.”
Emma whooped and fist pumped the air.
“Just a few!” There was a warning somewhere in Regina’s voice Emma knew but her eyes, and yep, there’s that honey reflecting in them from the setting sun, had that playful fire in them that the blonde loved so much.
“I promise, just a few.”
☠️
Turns out, even in Storybrooke when a business goes under, a Halloween store pops up in its place for the season and less than twenty four hours after getting Regina’s blessing, Emma’s pushing a full cart next to Snow, who also is pushing a cart and who keeps stopping to gasp in literal horror at the displays.
Her mother’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion (the confused face is clearly hereditary) as Emma throws decorations in her (mostly) empty cart, “Honey, what exactly are these for?”
“I told you,” Emma sorting through a shelf of fake headstones, “Regina and I are decorating for Halloween.” Emma didn’t offer anymore of an explanation, mostly because there wasn’t one. What else was there to know? Her mom was always pushing at their relationship. Cant Emma just want to decorate for the holidays with her family? “Ha!” Emma snorted, pulling out a headstone to show her mom, “This one says RIP UGG LEE. I’m getting these.”
Snow jerked with the cart as her daughter dumped an armful of headstones into it.
“This seems a little…. excessive?”
Emma pushed forward, ooooh spiderwebs! “Says the woman who owns fifty pairs of the same cardigan.”
She received a look from her mother that just screamed ‘honestly, Emma’ but it didn't phase her. Of course Snow wouldn’t understand. She was given privileges Emma had not been. Curse or no curse.
“It’s just… it’s my first Halloween with Regina and Henry ya know, as a family, and I want to make it special. I finally have a home to do this in so…”
Snow’s face softened a bit but Emma could tell there was also a hint of regret masked just beneath. Emma used to feel guilty about it, like Snow’s regret was her fault. Well, not today. That’s what she gets for prodding.
They continued to peruse the aisles of horror and Snow took a moment to really observe her daughter and her excitement. She may have missed out on twenty eight years worth of holidays but she refused to ruin the moment with this one.
“I support you, you know?”
Snow might refuse to ruin the moment but Emma made no such promise as she held up a fake, ghoulish, severed head of Disney’s version of Snow White, an apple shoved in her grotesque mouth and dangled it in her mother’s face.
Snow jumped, “Okay, I take it back, I don't support you.”
But her daughter had the audacity to laugh. “I don’t care because Regina will love this.”
“That’s reassuring.”
“Cmon, it’s a joke.”
“Ha Ha.”
“What happened to supporting me?” Emma’s smirk was pure smug and Snow was sure it was a facial expression that had rubbed off on her daughter from her former nemesis, “I’m getting it, look away.” Emma stuffed the head in her own cart underneath the inflatable witch.
☠️
An hour later and finally they were checking out, Emma unloaded both of their carts while the teenager behind the counter rang.
Once unloaded Emma began browsing around the register, pens with heads of well known horror figures, car bumper stickers, horror fashion jewelry and then… off to the right something caught her eye that she had no idea how she had missed. The sun from the front window of the store beamed in almost illuminating it and if this was a movie there would be like angels singing the moment Emma saw it. A 12 ft skeleton. Standing in all its bony glory. She needed it. “How much is the skeleton?” Emma used her thumb to gesture over towards the giant decoration.
The kid looked up and followed Emma’s thumb. “$300 but it’s only available for delivery.” The kid was monotoned and sounded bored as he went back to scanning Emma’s things.
“I’ll take it.”
“Emma!” Snow hissed from behind her, “Regina’s gonna kill you.”
“Relax.” She’s got this. It was going to be fine.
“Your total is $452.69.”
Emma gulped. Regina probably WAS going to kill her.
☠️
The next day, Emma had David cover her shift at the station so she could get to work on the decorations. Time was ticking and she wanted everything perfect so they had at least a week or so to enjoy the horror on their front lawn.
She changed the bulb on the front porch to a black light, so when on it cast a purple hue around the front. The headstones of Ugg Lee, Izzy Dead, Helen Back, Bea A. Fraid among others set up in the yard. She installed yard lights in front of them to draw attention to them from the road. The inflatable witch took her place in front of the bushes by the door, and Emma even got the ladder to string skull lights around the balcony railing, and put special care in dangling Snow White’s head over the very bottom of the deck so it hung and dangled directly over the porch.
Emma used real Caution Tape from the station (thanks Storybrooke tax payers!) to wrap around the columns by the door, she pulled and stretched fake spiderwebs in the bushes up front and for the bushes lining the walk, plastic 3ft white skeletons were positioned, wedged between the branches, to look as if they were reaching out for the guests. There were zombie-like arms reaching out in the yard and off to the side a bloody sheet concealing a body. She left a place in the yard for the main event that hadn’t been shipped yet and added some dazzle dazzle to the front door along with a door mat.
Emma wiped her forehead and stood on the porch looking at her handy work. “Not bad.”
She saw Regina’s Benz pull in the driveway, Regina had picked Henry up on her way home and she noticed both expressions as they saw the yard. Henry’s: Mouth open wide in what she could tell was both shock and excitement and Regina’s: Well, if Emma had to describe her woman’s expression it would be like, the wide eyed/shocked emoji?
The car doors slammed and Henry ran around the corner, his backpack slinging from side to side, “Woah! This is so cool Ma! You did all this?”
Emma opened her mouth to respond, pride swelling in her chest at impressing her kid, but was interrupted by Regina, in all her pencil skirt and high heel glory, stepping over decor in the yard, “When did R.L. Stine throw up all over my front lawn?”
Emma looked at Henry for clarification, not getting the reference, and thankfully Henry was good at picking up her confusion because he immediately whispered, “I used to read a lot of Goosebumps.”
“Ah.”
Emma rocked on the balls of her feet, anxiously watching as Regina walked through the headstones, reading the names.
“Seymour Butts?” She turned to face the two most important people in her life but when she did it was like her eyebrows were trying to have a meeting with her hairline due to the immature epitaph. “Really?”
Emma and Henry both snickered.
“Funny, huh?”
Regina gawked at the zombie arms coming from the ground around the graves, “Do you see me laughing?” She was not.
The blonde rolled her eyes and followed the click of high heels that had finally made it over to the sidewalk, toward the front door.
The dangling head hanging off the balcony caught brown eyes, brown eyes that soon were searching Emma’s in what was what? Wonder? Mirth? That pride Emma felt earlier bloomed again in her chest.
“Is that….”
“The severed head of Snow White? Yep. Just for you.”
Regina looks up to take in the sight that once upon a time she had dreamed to see in person. Another lifetime it felt like. “I approve.”
Henry looked up and wrinkled his nose, “Grandma?!”
His blonde mother placed a hand on his back, “Look away, kid.” She went to lead him inside behind his other mother when a blood curdling scream pierced the air.
“EMMA!!!?” Regina had jumped back almost a whole foot, her hand placed on her chest over her heart. She had stepped on Emma’s screaming doormat.
“Oh yeah, there’s that? Pretty neat, huh?”
“If you consider giving me a heart attack ‘Pretty neat’”. The brunette straightened her suit jacket, trying to appear as if she hadn’t almost peed herself and looked at the front door hanger that read Enter At Your Own Risk and gestures towards it, “Yes Miss Swan, you better.”
Emma gulped.
Henry ran past her and stomped on the mat as he entered the house, another blood curdling scream wailing.
“HENRY!” The blonde heard Regina scream from inside, she didn’t have to see the other woman to know that she had jumped again and she couldn’t help but chuckle. Regina might not be happy about it, but this was definitely a good idea. If not for just the amusement alone.
However funny though, Emma purposely stepped over the mat as she entered the house, choosing her luck over laughs.
☠️
A week passed and Emma’s 12 foot friend still had not arrived. She was starting to sweat as Halloween was just a few days away now. As the days passed, Regina had grumbled less about the decorations in the yard, stopped jumping when she stepped on the mat and even picked up some spooky lantern stakes to place along the sidewalk leading up to the door.
Emma checked the tracking for the package daily, the same message displaying daily, Tracking unavailable.. “UGH! What’s the point of tracking if it never TRACKS?!?” Emma threw her phone down and flopped back against the couch.
Another day passed, now the Saturday before Halloween. Emma had moved on from wasting her time checking the status of the package and decided she needed to focus on more important things at hand. So that’s exactly what she did.
Much more important things, like staying in bed and being knuckle deep inside Regina, thrusting her fingers methodically, curling, twisting, pumping, swirling her thumb lightly around the sensitive bundle of nerves as Regina writhed, whipping her head back and forth. Emma braced herself on one strong arm above Regina, the hottest sight she’d ever seen below her when the doorbell rang.
Emma whipped her head towards the sound.
“Leave it,” Regina growled, clamping her internal muscles around Emma’s fingers to keep them where they were at the same time her nails dug into Emma’s bicep, thrusting up, “Don’t stop.”
Emma braced herself on her knees and used the hand not inside Regina to grab Regina’s thigh and moved her leg to position it over her shoulder, her fingers sliding deeper, her own thigh coming into play to put more oomph behind her thrusts. Emma swung her hair to one side as she steadied her hand back beside Regina’s head, bracing herself and then she was thrusting again, curling again, twisting again, circling again. “I wouldn’t dare, Your Majesty.”
“Fuck, Emma.” Regina bridged her back, thrusting those glorious breasts closer to Emma and the blonde might be an idiot but not to the point of resisting leaning down to wrap her lips around a pebbled nipple. Regina’s toes curled, one perfectly manicured hand reached up to clutch the headboard while the other hand threaded through blonde hair, holding Emma’s head to her breast. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK, Em—uhhh.”
Emma released her with a wet pop and murmered against supple skin, “You are, you’re fucking me so good, R’gina, you always do. Make me come. so. hard.” The last three words punctuated with harder thrusts, curling to tease and caress her spongy front wall. Emma felt the other woman’s walls beginning to flutter around her so she trailed her lips from her breast to her chest, up her neck to suck her pulse point before moving to her ear to pant “Now I want you to. Come.” Regina rarely followed orders, she hated being told what to do. But having the savior filling her, holding her, on top of her, well, she did as she was asked, her thighs slid off Emma’s shoulder to spread out wider around her, both hands clasping Emma’s back to draw her nails down the muscles there as she spasmed, muttering curses, Emma’s name, and nonsense as Emma’s fingers lazily continued to pump, bringing her down slowly.
When she finally pulled out, Emma propped herself on her elbow, just watching the goddess laying breathless beside her, coming down from an orgasm she had given her. It still baffled Emma that this literal Queen lets her in her bed.
“You are way too good at that.” Regina hummed, only halfway back to Earth.
“I know you’re not complaining.” Emma was smug, but can you blame her?
“Quite the opposite, darling,” and then Regina was taking the fingers of the hand that was minutes ago inside her, wrapped her lips around them and sucked. Emma didn’t even try to stop the strangled groan she released.
“Fuck, Regina.”
Sometimes Emma sees flashes of the woman they called The Evil Queen, especially in the bedroom, and seeing the way the woman she shared her bed with looked up at her as she slid her lips up and released her fingers, she was sure she was definitely still in there. Emma gulped.
“What was it you said, dear?” Regina wiped at the corners of her lips, “You just did.”
Emma groaned because God. She loved this woman. Every part of her. Mother, Mayor, Friend, Magic Goddess, and yes, even The Evil Queen. Sometimes, no especially, The Evil Queen.
Their bubble popped when the front door downstairs opened and their kid yelled “Uhh??? Moms?? Emma has a big package down here.”
Emma snorted “He said I have a big package.” and she waggled her eyebrows.
Regina slapped at her in jest, “Do not. That’s our son.” and to Henry, “We’re coming!” Emma snorted again with a just did under her breath and Regina glared at her warningly. “If we’re not down in five minutes I’ve banished your mother to another realm!”
☠️
The box, it turned out, was big. No wonder they had to deliver it. There was a picture embellished on the side of the cardboard, detailing exactly what the item was.
Regina gaped at the box, Emma was glad the woman had changed into a silk pajama top with matching pants after their time upstairs because she looked way less intimidating like this but her arms were still crossed across her chest, “What the hell is this?”
Emma held a hand up to hopefully keep things calm, “It’s a Halloween decoration BUT I bought it the same day I bought the others but they had to deliver it.”
“A twelve foot Skeleton, Emma? Where the hell do you think it’s going?”
“The front yard?”
“Our front yard? Like Hell it is!”
“Too late. I can’t return it.”
“It’s not too late to banish you to that realm.”
Emma’s face scrunched up in that adorable way that would normally have Regina melting but it was ruined by her lover opening her mouth, “What? Would you say you have a bone to pick with me, Regina?”
“Stop it.” The former queen was trying not to laugh, pursing her lips together which only egged the other woman on.
“Do you not find it….humerus?”
“Not in the slightest.” A lie.
“Have a heart, Regina, he has….nobody.”
“If I let you set that thing up will you leave me alone and stop your god awful puns?”
Emma rolled her eyes, “Geez, where’s your funny bone?”
“You’re a bone head.”
“So that’s a yes, right?” Big green puppy eyes stared back at the former evil queen, an evil queen who used to disintegrate actual human beings to real skeletons and here she was now, agreeing to have a plastic knock off erected in her yard.
“Yes Em-ma.”
The blonde jumped up and down excitedly, her smile so bright it lit up Regina’s world and if having the most horrifying yard for a week gave her this smile she would bear it because it was worth it. Emma bounced over to her and kissed her cheek, her breath ghosting her lips, “Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou! I love you!”
Regina placed a hand over her cheek where Emma’s lips had been, savoring the electricity there that she always felt with Emma’s touch as the blonde moved to struggle with the box, moving to drag it back outside.
“You’re putting it up now?”
Heaving the box, the blonde grunted, “Yep. You wanna help?”
“I’d rather rot.”
Emma rolled her eyes, “Dramatic, but it fits with our theme.”
Henry, doing what Henry does by appearing out of nowhere, volunteered, “I’ll help!”
Emma shot a smug smirk up at Regina, “Thanks Kid! Get the other side of this box for me.”
Together, mother and son drug the box outside, leaving the other mother shaking her head fondly, the view endearing. She might not approve of a 12 foot plastic skeleton in her yard, but those two were her people, even if one of them was an idiot. She was her idiot.
“Well, I suppose I’ll start dinner.”
☠️
Once Henry and Emma got the box down the walk and into the yard, Emma ripped the packing tape and opened the box. She frowned looking down into it, her hand scratching the back of her head.
Her son stood beside her, mirroring her mannerisms, his face scrunched up. Henry blurted Emma’s thoughts “What the hell?”
Instead of chastising his language she just shot him a look. This warranted the language. Emma had wanted to say worse.
“Some assembly required, it says, should have said all assembly required.” Emma grumbled, lightly kicking the box making the seemingly thousand singular plastic bones rattle.
Seeing something sticking up between the pieces, Henry bent over and retrieved the piece of paper and handed them to Emma, “Well, at least it came with instructions.”
Emma turned the paper upside down and back around again, trying to make sense of whatever they called directions. “Jesus kid, we’ll be here until Christmas following these.”
Henry chuckled, “If mom doesn’t kill you first.”
Emma looked up from trying to decipher the instructions and waggled her eyebrows, “She’ll forgive me.”
“Please don’t be gross.”
Digging through the box to attempt to find Bone A, per the instructions, Emma snorted at her son, “Why did I go through all this trouble when I could just scare you by making out with your mom.”
“I’ll have nightmares. Please. Stop.”
“Not what your mom says.”
“I’m calling Archie.”
Emma bumped his shoulder with her’s as they both sat in the grass, surrounded now by singular fake bones. “Kidding kid.”
After a few minutes of trying to find the right pieces to fit into place like a puzzle Emma groaned in frustration and threw the femur in hand down. “Screw this. We’re gonna do this another way.”
“Which is?”
Emma held up her hand, wiggling her fingers, “Magic.”
“Please tell me you’re joking.” Henry sounded way too much like Regina.
“No, nerd, I’m not. It’ll be fine. Trust me.”
Before Henry could further protest, his blonde mother waved her hand and a swirl of white magic engulfed the pile of bones, assembling them together, the skeleton whole and twelve feet tall before their very eyes.
“See, easy as—“
Except. The skeleton didn’t stop at twelve feet. It kept growing, and growing, now towering over the mansion like the house was an ant.
Emma felt the heat run up her spine and the sweat prickle at her brow, especially now that the skeleton not only had quadrupled in size but was now animated, it’s bony leg stretching out to take a step.
In an impulse that obviously came from the side of her brain she should use more, Emma crashed into Henry, pushing him flat against the grass and covering him protectively as the other leg closest to them moved as the skeleton took off down the street.
Emma and Henry looked up from their spot on the grass, watching the giant skeleton stomp down the street, wrecking yards and cars, and as Regina would say, lowering Storybrooke property values.
“Oh shit.” The curse was said in unison and mother and son just looked at each other in horror.
“Fuck. FUCK.” A hand raked through blonde curls from stress, “what the hell are you going to tell your mom, kid?”
Getting up on his feet, Henry shook his head and waved his hands out in front of him, “oh no, I’m not telling mom anything. This was all you, Ma.”
A loud crash from down the street sounded along with an inhuman screech followed by screams of neighbors.
“Been nice knowing you,” Henry clapped a hand on Emma’s shoulder, “I’ll miss you when you’re gone to that other realm.”
☠️
Bolting into the house, Emma and Henry made a beeline towards the kitchen, their sneakers squeaked against the hardwood floor as they rounded the corner where the other woman was. Upon seeing her, Emma just wanted a portal to swallow her up rather than deal with this because there was her girlfriend, dancing in the kitchen while she was pretty sure she was humming Jump in the Line.
Emma checked out Regina’s ass as she bent over after opening the oven, pulling out the lasagna she had made for her family, probably the last time she’d ever get to check out that certain body part after the debacle going on outside the mansion.
Regina jumped slightly when she stood up and noticed them, the oven mits on her hands grasping the hot dish. “Oh, you two are done already? Dinner is almost done. I guess you could say,” and she eyed Emma pointedly, a playful glint in her eye “bone a petit.”
Emma groaned. Not only was Regina playing along with her puns now but the food smelled fucking delicious and the blonde momentarily considered putting off the inevitable to eat first, her last meal. Henry nudged her with his elbow, the kid was far too observant and obviously could read her mind about second guessing spilling and the move was not lost on his other mother, who sat the dish down on the counter and took off the oven mits, her hands immediately taking purchase on her hips.
“What’s… going on?” So, obviously, Emma had failed on not appearing suspicious. That playful look Emma had noticed earlier was gone. Fuck.
Emma raised a hand, attempting to tamp down the situation, “Okay, Regina, hear me out, I have some good news and some bad news.”
“What’s the good news?” Regina’s hands had now moved from her hips to her across her chest. Emma gulped, her eyes darted around and she caught the side eye Henry shot her way, no doubt wondering what the good news in this situation was.
“The good news?” She swallowed thickly as Regina eyed her expectedly, one sculpted eyebrow arched, “Well, the Skeleton isn’t in the front yard?”
Henry facepalmed and Emma elbowed him back.
Regina nodded, her eyes shifted from her son and her idiot, taking this in. “Okay, so what’s the bad news?”
Emma moved to place the island counter between her and Regina, in case the other realm was actually a real possibility. “The skeleton isn’t in the front yard?” Emma offered her an awkward but guilty smile and it didn’t help that her voice had cracked.
The brunette's eyes zeroed in on her, squinting, “Where. Is. It?” Cool, her teeth were clenched too. New realm here she comes.
Emma swallowed, “Probably…. probably near Granny’s by now.”
“WHAT?!”
“Emma used her magic! The instructions were complicated so she used her magic and it worked but the skeleton kept growing and then took off down the street!” Henry tattled and his blonde mother’s mouth gaped at him like the little traitor he was.
“Thanks kid I was getting there.” She knew she shouldn’t glare at her kid but she never claimed to be the best parent anyways. Plus he deserved it right now, the nerd.
Regina pinched the bridge of her nose, undoubtedly silently counting to ten to calm the urge to fireball Emma’s ass. “So you're telling me that instead of following the instructions… you used your magic? And instead of assembling correctly it grew larger, came to life and is not wreaking havoc on my town?”
Emma nodded, “Pretty much?”
“Idiot!!” Regina yelled while slamming her hands down hard on the counter between them.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Emma took a few steps backwards, her hands up in front of her again.
“How big?”
“What?”
Regina closed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose. “The skeleton, Miss Swan, how big is it?”
“Oh. Uh. Maybe fifty feet?” Emma wrung and twisted her fingers in front of her, fidgeting.
Regina cursed and then stormed past her son and his other mother.
“Uh? Where are you going?” Emma probably shouldn’t push her luck. She was still in this realm and not burnt to a crisp with fire, but she found herself following Regina through the threshold of the kitchen to the foyer, fingers still fidgeting.
Regina turned sharply and then looked down at herself, gesturing at her attire. The silk pajama set she had put on after they— “To change. I can’t very well fight a fifty foot skeleton dressed like this.”
Oh. Okay. The savior nodded, “Yeah, okay good.”
Emma watched Regina retreat, soaking her form into her eyeballs in case this is her last night to do so. Why couldn’t she have just read the instructions? Sure it would have probably taken her months but she wouldn’t have to deal with this. She could be eating lasagna right now with her family or maybe even eating something else if she had only… loud buzzing from her back pocket screeched her inner monologue to a halt. She fished her phone out and looked at the caller I.D. and cursed.
Snow.
“Hey, Snow…. yeah, yeah, I know. It’s a long story but remember that skeleton I bought at the Halloween store? I kinda… yeah, that’s it. Stay inside. Regina and I are dealing with it. MOM I KNOW, I’m on it. I’ll be careful. I gotta go, I'll call you later. BYE.”
Back in the kitchen now, Emma slammed her phone down and placed her elbows on the counter, her head in her hands and lowering it so her head ran through her hair. Just what the hell.
“It’s gonna be okay.” Henry’s soft voice snapped her out of the impending panic attack she was spiraling into.
“Appreciate the confidence, kid.” She didn’t sound too confident herself.
“It’s what you and mom do. No matter what you guys face, you always get through it. Together.”
Emma offered him a watery smile. No doubt despite Regina’s raising, that Charming DNA was still in there as here he was, giving her the start of a hope speech. But apparently the time for hope speeches were done as Regina stormed through the kitchen, now dressed in dark jeans and a grey button down shirt and boots. Even for monster fighting Regina still looked photoshoot ready.
“Henry, stay inside, do not open the door for anything, dinner is on the stove, we’ll be back as soon as we can.” She walks over and gives him a quick kiss on the head and then turns to Emma, “Let’s go.”
Emma gulps and turns to give Henry one last look, he looks slightly worried and he offers her a thumbs up and a quiet “Good luck.”
There’s a quiet “Thanks” mumbled until her eyes spot that damn lasagna, all melty and steamy and undoubtedly delicious and with a stern finger Emma points at it, “Since you're so confident you better save me some of that.”
“SWAN!” Regina’s voice sounded from the other room, no doubtedly by the front door and Emma’s eyes shot wide as she hurried out of the kitchen, grabbing her leather jacket that was hanging haphazardly off the back of a chair on the way out.
☠️
They took the bug, it was a split second decision but better the bug than Regina’s Benz if anything happened. The drive to Main street was mostly quiet, Emma gripped the steering wheel anxiously, she could feel her hands sweatingn against the wheel.
Finally she broke, “Look Regina, I’m really… sorry. I should have listened to you, I just wanted the perfect Halloween with you guys since we, you know, and I guess I got carried away.”
“You made a fifty foot skeleton, I’d say so.”
“I know. And I promise I’ll take care of it and pay for any damages. Hell, I’ll even help with the repairs.”
Regina looked down at her lap and laughed lightly, “You’ll wear those tank tops? With the overalls?”
“Whatever you want.”
“The Mayor might need to supervise you.”
“Oh, so the Mayor likes to watch?” Emma’s smirk left no room for argument where her brain was headed.
“Just you, my dear, and can you blame her? Look what happens when she doesn’t.”
A loud screech interrupted their flirting and Emma cursed for the millionth time that day. Emma punched the gas, not like anyone was going to give her a ticket. Up ahead they could see the Clock Tower and one huge boney leg over stepping it as it stomped towards Granny’s. Another ear shattering scream pierced through the air as it’s skeleton fist punched through the roof of the Diner.
Emma screeched the car to the side of the road and parked. “Not Granny’s! The bear claws!!” Emma swung her door open getting out of the car with a new fire lit under her ass.
“Ah, yes, the bear claws. That’s what she’s worried about.” Regina rolled her eyes but followed suit in getting out of the car.
Together they sprinted down the street towards the diner. Patrons ran out of Granny’s screaming, women snatching up their children as they took off.
“Don’t worry guys!” Emma yelled at the bystanders, “This is just a Halloween show! Stay calm.”
“Stay calm?!” Regina shot her girlfriend an incredulous glance. “It busted through the roof! What kind of budget do you think we have for a show like that?!”
“They don’t know that, it’s PR. It’s better than them knowing I unleashed Skele-Ton.”
“Skele-ton?!”
“That’s what I’ve been calling it in my head because it’s so— Nevermind. Just trust me.”
Regina just nodded. Not like she really had much of a choice at this point.
“HEY!” Emma was yelling again, this time at the giant skeleton that was currently terrorizing Granny’s. “HEY OVER HERE!”
The skull turned and looked their way. How it saw with no eyes in its sockets was beyond but weirder things had happened in Storybrooke.
“Yeah you, Numskull, over here! You can’t handle Granny’s!” Emma yelled, daring to taunt the thing. “You don’t have the stomach for it.”
Regina shot her an exasperated look so fast. More puns?! At a time like this?
Skele-Ton screamed and withdrew his skeletal hand from the top of Granny’s and the ground shook as he headed toward the two women.
“Please tell me you have a plan!” Regina shouted as she conjured a fireball in her palm, Grim Reaper on steroids coming right for them.
“Uhhhh,” the blonde nodded at the fireball, “try that.”
“For fuck sake,” Regina grumbled and then hurled the fireball in the air. It hit the target straight in the middle of it’s skull, knocking it back a step but it just shook his head, shaking it off.
“You got any better ideas?!” Regina yelled over at a dumb stricken Emma, who seemed frozen in place looking like a fish out of water. The fireball might not have rattled it’s bones but it’s safe to say it efficiently pissed it off.
It happened in slow motion, probably quicker for onlookers, but for Emma? Seeing Skele-ton’s right arm swing back and then swoop down, a cadaverous fist unclenching it’s fingers and heading straight for Regina. On instinct, Emma was propelled into action. The funny thing was, try as she might, no matter how hard she focused under normal circumstances, her magic was always unpredictable (something she should have maybe thought of earlier), but with Regina? If anyone even looked at Regina menacingly Emma could feel her magic stirring like fire beneath her skin. Dodging a skeletal foot that stomped down beside her, Emma crashed into Regina, pushing her out of the way with her left arm and launching her magic with her right. White savior magic struck the offending arm’s shoulder with a force only Regina can conjure, shooting it back and blowing the arm completely off, the sound of bone cracking making time move normal speed again for Emma just in time for her to crash into the brunette again.
This time, Emma realized she had literally pushed Regina out of the way and up against a wall of a nearby building. Out of breath, chest heaving, sweat causing strands of blonde hair to stick to her forehead.
“Hi”, Emma breathed, suddenly aware of their very close proximity. “I have to say, I’ve thought of pushing you up against a wall and boning but it’s usually not like this.”
The brunette, who was just as winded, let out a quiet exhalation of amusement, from Emma’s teenage boy-esque fantasy or from the hilarity of almost dying from a skeletal grasp, the blonde wasn’t sure, and wasn’t going to ask until “Fuck.”
Emma’s eyebrows raised, her forehead wrinkling, “I know adrenaline usually gets you going but now really isn’t the time…”
Regina shoved her off, “Idiot!” She pointed toward the skeleton whose arm was now not only not blown off but had now regenerated and grew a third.
Emma stumbled, gawking, and yeah Regina was right, “Fuck.”
“Like I said.”
It wasn’t everyday you saw a fifty foot skeleton with three arms.
“Not good, what do we do now?”
“I think it’s time to do what we do best?”
“Together?”
Regina simply nodded. Message signed, sealed, delivered, and received.
Running back into the middle of the street, Emma spared a single glance at her partner, who nodded once, and then as if they were in sync, both women shot their own magic into the air, streams of powerful red and white magic hurdling into the giant monster. Emma and Regina’s magic intertwined, swirled together around brittle bones and weaved through ribs, rolled down the column of the elongated spine. The blonde grunted in effort, teeth clenched and bared as the combined force of their powers merged in the rib cage, the colors of their magic now indistinguishable. Light exploded from the center of the breast bone.
“Stop! Emma, stop!” Realization hit the older woman first and she abruptly dropped her hands, cutting her magic off at the source and grabbed Emma’s wrist, lowering them. “We’re feeding it!”
“Wait, what?!” Emma turned back, her blonde waves whipping in a wind that could only be assumed was from the spiraling of their magic as it engulfed the entire fifty feet of the creature. The skeleton’s head was thrown back as if in rapture and fuck, as usual, Regina was right.
“It’s getting bigger.”
Okay. So, new plan. Emma grabbed Regina’s wrist and began to run, dragging the other woman with her down the street to where the bug was parked. As soon as enough yellow metal was between them and that thing Emma squatted and took Regina with her. They just needed to regroup.
“Okay so our magic isn’t working on it, what if magic isn’t the answer?” Emma whispered but it’s not like it really mattered. The skeleton was at least seventy five feet now and could easily spot them and without ears it was really unclear if it could even hear but, semantics.
“You think?!” Regina hissed, checking over her shoulder, the fear and uncertainty bubbling in her gut making her snappier than usual.
“So magic made this thing right? And our magic just makes it stronger, feeds it.” The ground vibrated as Skele-ton roared in greater strength and Regina flattened her back against the bug. Emma grasped Regina’s bicep, her thumb lazily stroking the inside of her arm in attempts to ground and soothe the other woman. This was her fault after all. “So we take it somewhere it can no longer eat.”
Emma sees the moment the lightbulb goes off and nods.
“The Town line.”
“It’s worth a shot.”
Scrambling up, the blonde offers her hand to Regina to help her up before they hurry around the car, yellow doors creak on hinges that are yanked open quickly before slammed shut. Emma cranks the car and the cheers from the bystanders that have stayed around in their hidey holes, spectators, can be heard as they peel off.
“Oh my god do you think they really bought that this is a show?”
“They’ve believed worse.” Regina offers as an off-handed remark while checking the side view mirrors for their monster. “When I say step on it, Miss Swan, step on it.” The passenger side window rolled down and Regina’s head was halfway out, looking back. A fire conjured, Regina took aim and fired, and then another, making sure attention was drawn.
Apparently all the skeleton knew how to do was yell because another shriek filled the air after five fireballs, his arm swinging with the momentum to chase which knocked a light pole straight into Mr. Gold’s shop window. Long, lanky legs would make catching up with them easy so when it was sure they were being followed Regina hastily rolled up her window and hit the dash with both hands, “Now, Emma! Go! Go! Go! Go!”
Emma’s foot stomped the gas pedal to the floor and the bug’s engine roared under the effort, the insides of the car rattling. Regina grabbed on to the oh shit handle for dear life.
Emma worried her bottom lip in between her teeth as she kept a check on the rear view mirror.
“They call this a Bug? I’ve seen cockroaches move faster!”
The engine sputtered with renewed effort and Emma thought for a second her transmission might give out.
Pedestrians jumped back into yards and on the sidewalks, cowering in fear from Emma’s driving and the beast following them but it wasn’t long until the town line came into view and Emma gave her car one final thrust from the gas pedal. The Leaving Storybrooke sign could now be made out on the side of the road and just as Emma felt herself begin to feel some sort of relief the bug jerked backwards. Regina turned completely in her seat to look at the back window, the skeleton having caught up and had reached out and grappled at the back of the car with it’s scrawny fingers.
“Really?!” Emma swerved left, then right. “Hold on!” She grunted, gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles turned white.
“I am!!” Regina’s grip on the handle above her mirrored Emma’s grip on the wheel.
As hard as Emma had been pressing the gas, her right foot then lifted and gave the same attention to the brake. The bug’s tires screeched against the pavement, the whole car jerked and skidded as the blonde and brunette alternated between cursing and praying and came to a stop nose to nose with the town line.
The Skeleton screeched as it ran full speed, skeletal fingers grasped at the car but due to his speed (and lack of brain probably) missed. Emma and Regina ducked down, covered their heads as boney fingers scraped against the metal roof of the car. A loud thud outside sent vibrations through the car when a giant foot crashed beside Emma’s drivers door and then, just as easily as magic had created it, he crossed the town line and the magic was taken away. Leaving just a twelve foot plastic skeleton the way Emma had bought it.
Emma and Regina look up, both uncertain of what to expect, mouths parted, and both sigh in relief when the see nothing more than a lawn decoration.
“We did it.”
“Yes,” Regina huffs, trying to recollect and straighten herself, “we did.”
Emma opened the car door and shot a puzzled look at the other woman, “So what now?”
“Now, I suspect we will just go home. I’m sure there are a lot of phone calls we both need to answer to.”
Emma grimaced. Not something she wanted to deal with. “And him?” Her eyes darted to the lifeless skeleton.
Regina sighs. “I could fireball his ass.”
Emma frowns. Despite being threatened, chased, almost squashed, she still wanted to keep it. It was her fault all of the above happened anyways. Regina must have picked up on the blonde’s internal battle.
“Or…” Regina sighed, rolling her eyes skyward, “we could put it in the front yard.”
Emma smiled, “It would be great for PR.”
The brunette shook her head, “You're an idiot but….”
“I’m your idiot?”
Regina smiled and leaned across the middle console of the bug and kissed Emma’s cheek then her lips. “Exactly.”
☠️
Turns out, it was good for PR, the people of Storybrooke actually bought that it was a Halloween stunt and despite the damage actually caused to the town, it only heightened everyone’s Halloween spirit. As promised, Emma started right away helping with the repairs and as promised, Regina was right there supervising. Watching.
People stopped by daily leading up to Halloween to take selfies and pose with the skeleton in their front lawn, despite Regina’s chagrin.
On Halloween, Henry was off with Nick and Violet and Emma had stocked up on Candy to hand out to the non nerds, assuring Regina that there would be trick or treaters. She had even convinced her counterpart to dress up.
Emma looked at herself in the mirror, her reflection not her own. Her hair was slicked back in a low ponytail, blonde tresses sprayed black with that Halloween spray in color that Emma knew was going to be a bitch to get out. Pale makeup adorned her face as well as a thin, black fake mustache. She wore a black suit with pinstripes, black polished dress shoes and just for an extra accessory, a fancy cane.
Emma walked into the adjoining room from the bathroom and gasped as her eyes raked over her girlfriend. She knew the brunette was going to look to die for but once again, Regina proved to exceed even her wildest imaginations. From her long black wig that cascaded past her shoulders in soft waves at the end, to the sleek floor length black dress with long sleeves that clung to the woman’s biceps and arms until the wrists where the fabric splayed out and fell into a waterfall of black sections, to the way the dress was off should and the plunge of the neckline in an almost obscene way (should she open the door for children like this? Should Emma just say fuck it and have her own treat? She was tempted.), to the way the dress slit from the floor to her upper thigh giving Emma a lot of options of skin to look at.
Crossing the room, Emma set her can against the wall before dropping down to one knee and grabbed Regina’s dainty hand and placed light kisses on the top there, immediately falling into character.
“Cara Mia.” Emma looked up at her goddess before placing more kisses on her hand.
Regina smirked, stretching more of her arm out for Emma to access as she looked down at the savior on her knees, “Mon cher.”
Emma stood but did not drop Regina’s hand, “You look… wow.” She whistled as her eyes soaked up Regina’s form, the black dress doing absolute wonders for the other woman’s figure.
“Quite the articulate Gomez you make, my dear.”
“I understand completely why he worshipped Morticia. I mean damn..”
Regina moved to a vanity mirror to adjust her wig, bending slightly and Emma took the opportunity to check out her ass but the moment was ruined when her phone buzzed on the bedside table, notifying a text. Knowing Henry was out Emma moved to check it, just to make sure everything was okay.
False alarm. Just her mother.
“Everything okay?” Regina murmured as she spritzed herself with perfume.
“Yeah,” Emma tapped out her reply, “Just Snow. Apparently they got their first trick or treaters.”
“She’s giving out candy?”
Emma looked up from her screen, her mouth forming a straight line of disapproval, “Toothbrushes.”
“God she’s the worst!”
Emma chuckled and placed her phone back down before offering her hand to her lover diving back into character, “Well, my darling, are you ready?”
Regina took her hand with a smile dancing across her blood red lips, “With you, my love, always.”
A murderous scream from the door mat outside sounded seconds before the doorbell rang.
“It’s showtime.”
☠️
Emma had been right, there were a lot of trick or treaters, they had barely even been able to close the door before a new group would walk up and ring the bell. The blonde was glad she had gone a little overboard in buying candy because two hours in, they were on their last bag.
Emma’s heart swelled watching Regina interact with the kids and their costumes. Her smile bright and present and watching as she placed pieces of candy in their bags Emma wondered how she ever entertained the idea that Regina didn’t care for their son.
“I’m Princess Emma!” A little girl no more than five announced, dressed in a little white puffy dress with white flats, her hair done in a little braid with a white headband on her head.
Regina squatted down to eye level, “You sure are! Look how pretty you are, your highness!”
Emma leaned against the door jamb, her ovaries exploding just from watching these exchanges.
“I’m glad that Emma saved you. I’m like her, I don’t believe you’re bad either.” The little voice announced as candy was placed in her bag and before anyone could even reply or the tears could prick the former evil queen’s eyes the kid turned, gripping her candy bag closed and yelled “Thank you, bye!” and ran down the walk, dodging the small group of older kids walking up.
A storm trooper, Han solo, and Princess Leia approached. Han Solo sheepishly held out his bag first, “Trick or treat?”
“Henry?”
Emma smirked, pushing herself up off the door jamb, “Well, well, well… look who decided not to be a nerd this year.”
“And look at your costume, you look so handsome.” Regina cooed before she turned to Violet, “and let’s not forget the prettiest Princess Leia I’ve ever seen.” Regina winked.
Emma opened her mouth to say something, maybe to protest but snapped her mouth shut. Nevermind, it’s not important.
“Cool decorations, Miss Mills!” Nick said from beneath his stormtrooper mask. “Everyone is talking about them! It’s the coolest house in town!”
Emma gave Regina a shit eating Told you So smirk.
“Yeah, everyone wants to see the Skeleton. He’s like famous! Someone even made him an instagram.” Violet exclaimed, “we’ve already got our pictures with it. I’ll tag him.”
“Nice! I’ll check it later.” Emma blurted. “I mean his page… not that I own the page.. or even knew about it. What’s instagram?” Regina furrowed her brows and gave the other woman a questioning look.
Thankfully Henry saved her.
“You were right, Ma.”
Emma recovered quickly from her instagram spazz and mock gasped, her hand going towards her chest, “Regina, did you hear that? I was right.”
“So is a broken clock at least twice a day, dear.”
Henry and Violet shared a look, trying not to laugh. Emma rolled her eyes.
“You got me thinking, Halloween is fun and I’ve got the rest of my life to be cool and grown up. I might as well take advantage while I can.”
Both mothers shared a melty smile and then Emma reached for the candy bowl, “Kid, you could stand out here at forty and I’d still load you up with this.” She poured a generous amount of candy bars and sweets into his bag.
Henry snorted, “Yeah, just so you could steal half of it.”
Emma shrugged nonchalantly, “It’s in a mothers rule book somewhere. We earned it.”
“Miss Swan, Miss Mills,” Violent piped up, “Who are you guys supposed to be?”
The usually blonde haired woman almost choked at the harsh exhale the question caused, “What!? You don’t know?” Violet just shook her head slowly, eyes darting towards Henry. “The Addams’ Family!?! A cult classic!? Morticia and Gomez?!!” Emma shrieked as she gestured wildly between herself and Regina when naming their costumes.
Violet shrugged.
“Kid, we gotta get this one over for movie night more.”
“Ma…” Henry grunted, his cheeks coloring with embarrassment.
“Emma, stop.” Regina whispered playfully.
“Who is this Emma, you speak of, darling? It is I,” Emma dropped down to one knee again, grabbing Regina’s hand, “Gomez and my only desire is to worship you.” She made a scene of kissing her way from Regina’s knuckles up to her forearm.
“Darling,” Regina chuckled darkly, “stop torturing the children. Wait til we’re inside and you can torture me, instead.” Emma’s lips stopped their course and she peered up at her dark beauty.
“Cara Mia!”
“OOOOKAY! We’re leaving now. We’ve officially seen actual horror this Halloween, thanks moms!” Henry walked backwards down the sidewalk away from his overly romantic, embarrassing parents.
“Hey, wait,” Emma called as she stood back up, again not letting go of Regina’s hand. “Have you guys been to Mary Margaret’s yet?”
Regina pressed her lips together and looked down at the floor.
“Nah, we were gonna hit grandma up next.”
“K, I think you’ll really like what she’s giving out. Happy Halloween, kid!” Emma raised her hand to wave and then turned to Regina and snorted out a laugh.
“You’re kind of evil, you know?”
“You love it.”
“Perhaps.” Regina smirked at Emma before she called after Henry, “Be safe, dear!”
So Emma’s first Halloween with Regina wasn’t perfect. There were some ups, okay like fifty feet ups, and downs but standing here on the porch, in costumes, with the crisp October air between them, Emma wouldn’t change a thing.
“I think that’s quite enough tricks this year wouldn’t you agree?”
Emma eyed the half empty candy bowl, “I don’t know, the night is still young and Halloween isn’t over yet.”
Regina stepped through the threshold into the house, flipping off the porch light with one hand and pulled Emma inside with the other, “I was thinking,” and her voice had dropped down several octaves into porn territory, “that in the spirit of Halloween we could, what was it you called it? Ah yes, bone.”
Emma kicked the door shut. Say no more.
Maybe Octobers weren’t so bad after all.