Chapter Text
"See, this is why I don't let you drive!"
"No, you don't let me drive because you're a control freak!"
The car is wheezing, warning lights flickering, grey steam spewing from the hood, forced open on the right side by the tree. This is gonna cost, and if there is one thing he hasn't got it's money.
"I'm not a control freak, it's you who can't be trusted!"
"I can't be trusted?"
"No! Yuta, just look at my car! Look what you did! You literally break everything!"
There's a pang inside, and maybe he should backtrack, maybe he should just say he's sorry. He is sorry! But the way Doyoung looks at him just makes him...livid. And even though he can hear himself sounding like a stubborn child he just can't back down.
"I'll...I'll pay for repairs"
"With what Yuta? With what? You're literally living in my house because you've got no money. I already pay for you, so how exactly are you gonna do that?"
He can feel heat rise as shame washes over him, tears burning in his eyes.
"So why are you even together with me then, if I just destroy things?"
There 's a heavy silence, and then Doyoung sighs.
"I honestly have no fucking idea"
Another pang. He did not see that coming. Sure they've been fighting a lot lately, but...it's them, they've always come through, and a part of him still believes they will this time to. But the way Doie drags his hands over his face, exasperated, has a tinge of panic pooling in the pit of his stomach. Still he keeps pushing, hoping Doyoung will melt. Come back to him.
"So let's just break up then?"
Okay. Stop.
Maybe that was too much, but see he really doesn't mean that, it's just lately they always seem to end up here. And he just wants a reaction. He wants Doyoung to tell him of course not, to say he's sorry, for them to make up.
That's how it'll usually go, with Yuta doing something wrong and Doyoung scolding him for it, and at the end of the day it's still them. Still together.
Still he knows things have changed, even if he refuses to acknowledge it. Doyoung used to look at him all...adorning, making Yuta feel like the most special person to ever walk the earth. Now he just looks at him either with annoyance or disappointment. Or like now, tired. He just looks...done.
Maybe it was a mistake, Doyoung trying to learn Yuta how to drive, and maybe he shouldn't have pushed for it so hard. But really, he didn't see that tree until they went crashing into it. And now Doyoung's car is a wreck and Yuta feels like trash once again. He knows it's bad, but not that bad? Is it?
"Yeah, you know what? Let's. I'm too tired for this shit" And he really does sound tired. Looks tired. Giving the wrecked car a last look Yuta sighs.
"Okay. I'll get my things out-"
"You don't have to leave this minute?"
"No. I do. Or else we'll just come up with some excuse. It's...it's better this way."
Or maybe it's just his pride, having him running again.
"Okay. I guess you're right."
They look at each other, standing on the edge, six months together lying behind them, the good times, the fantastic times, and the not so good, recent times. They can still change their minds. They can still go back.
Then a car stops.
"You boy's need help?"
The towtruck slowly pulls away, yellow lights flickering in the growing dusk. Doyoung is busy talking to important looking people holding clip-boards, and he tries to swallow down that big lump of guilt in his throat. Maybe he shouldn't have let him take the blame. Maybe he should have owned up. But then...what choice does he have? He's got no drivers licens, no insurance, no money, no job, and soon...no home.
Johnny's car has the engine running, and he tries to catch Doyoung's eye, to at least...wave goodbye, but he's too busy, so with a sigh he jumps in.
"Ready?"
"Ready" he agrees, thankful that Johnny doesn't ask. But he knows he wont have the same luck with Ten.
They quickly load his stuff in the car, not for the first time. He gives the apartment a last look, locks and slips the key in the mailbox.
When Doyoung gets back to the apartment there'll be no trace of Yuta ever living there. He's good at that, cleaning himself out of others lifes.
____
"When are you gonna start dating then?"
"God Ten. I just ended a relationship really badly! I'm really, really not ready for that shit yet!"
"Yuta...it's been six months?"
"Your point being?"
"Isn't that longer than you guys were even together?"
"Only by like...five days" he mutters.
"Oh no, he's still keeping track of days" Jungwoo butts in.
"Remind me why we are friends again?"
"Because I have the best hair you've ever seen. And you love me" he adds, smoothing down his blonde, impeccable bangs. Since both statements are true Yuta just huffs, looking out the window.
"Either way, I live in a garage! I don't have a job. Who would even want that?
Jungwoo and Ten share a look.
"Good point" Ten finally says, giving in, and goes back to his phone.
He knows he can't keep them off forever though, and it's not even that he misses Doyoung. Really, being apart has made him realise how bad they actually were together. They were probably doomed from the get go honestly, just too different.
It's just...that with every failed relationship it gets clearer to him that the one thing all his failures have in common is...him.
And maybe that's just the thing.
Maybe Yuta is unloveable?