Chapter Text
“You’re unbelievable.” Levi looks down at the Saint Bernard eyeing him anxiously. Well, eyeing his breakfast bar. Levi tells himself that it’s not even his favorite flavor (it is) as he tears off a piece and tosses it to the four-legged nuisance. It wags its tail happily as it gobbles down a quarter of Levi’s breakfast bar, immediately looking back up for seconds as soon as the treat disappears down its bottomless gullet. “No, you giant lard.” Levi might toss it one more piece, but he swears that he hates the flavor.
“Don’t come crying to me when your fat ass can’t fit through the door.” As if to retort, the dog huffs loudly, lips flapping noisily as it drops its head. Levi can’t help but smirk as he stands from the bar stool, ruffling the top of the dog’s head as he passes into the living room to gather its leash. He tries to make the movement as inconspicuous as possible, given how untamable the mutt becomes when it realizes that Levi is taking it out. Maybe it would help matters if the damn thing wasn't over half of Levi’s height, but fate works in mysterious ways, and obviously giving Levi a big ass dog is one of them.
The leash is in his hand, and he is almost ready to call the mission a success; but suddenly, there is a weight on the backs of his knees. He knew that his apartment had nice carpeting, but to be honest, he really never planned on getting this close and personal with the flooring.
“Oi, numbnuts!” The dog is on top of him, pressing him face down into the carpet. He rolls over, only to be attacked by a face full of sloppy kisses and dog breath. “I get it, you’re welcome.” The dog just continues in its assault, and Levi has to eventually push the two hundred pound beast off him. Pale fingers slide through the silky fur as Levi connects the leash to its collar, giving it a good scruff on the head as he pulls away.
“You’re such a spoiled shit.” The dog just wags its tail and barks happily. Levi is completely whipped, and he knows it.
A heavy sigh passes over his lips as he gathers the chilled water bottle sitting on the bar and his keys. It is already waiting at the door as soon as he turns around, tongue hanging out and smiling like this is the happiest moment in all of its doggie years. Levi just shakes his head.
“You ready?” It barks, nose rubbing affectionately beneath Levi’s palm. Taking a deep breath, he opens the door, allowing the summer heat to smack him directly in the face. It’s almost enough for him to say ‘fuck it’ and take his run on the treadmill, but the aura of happiness still pouring from his dog’s face makes it worth bearing the high temperatures. “Don’t wear yourself out, old man.” And with that, the dog takes off, pulling Levi along with it as it shoots down the stairs. Levi silently thanks that cardio class as it continues down another flight.
It’s not long before they’ve reached the bottom, and the dog is already yanking Levi down their usual route. The path isn’t anything spectacular, just an array of metropolitan skyscrapers and people in business suits. Levi sticks out like a sore thumb, basketball shorts swishing freely in the breeze and white tee almost transparent from his sweat. Which is… disgusting, but Levi guesses that's the price of fitness. That and sacrificing stopping at one of the hundred hot dog stands him and the mutt pass along during their run.
The sun beats down on the pair, the city lacking several things and trees being one of them. He has long since downed the water bottle, and the empty, plastic shell crunches loudly beneath his grip as he tries to keep an even pace against the sidewalk. They pass another goddamn hot dog stand, and Levi thinks it’s probably a sign.
“Oi,” Levi calls up to the dog, yanks gently back on the leash as he slows to a walk. It’s panting heavily as it looks back at him, and Levi feels a little guilty for not saving it any water. Sighing, he digs into the pocket of his shorts, taking out a narrow wallet as he walks over to the stand.
The man at the counter is greasy and looks like he hasn’t taken a proper bath in the past twenty years. The mutt better be glad Levi gives a shit about its well being.
“Whaddya want?” The man sneers, oily mustache rising to reveal a set of yellowed teeth.
“A water.” Levi sees the man scratch the side of his face with dirty fingernails, flakes of white falling off the skin. He swallows thickly. “Bottled water.” He fishes into his wallet as the man tells him the total, other hand still loosely fisted around the leather leash. But suddenly, the grip feels strangely empty.
His stomach drops.
Levi knows how most people are around strange dogs, especially strange, big dogs. Especially strange, big dogs bounding straight for them. It has been his worst nightmare ever since he decided to foster the mutt, and something like absolute terror sinks into his gut as he watches the dog rocket away from him. He forgets about the water bottle as he races after the animal, legs straining against his exhaustion; but he tells himself to just keep moving, because as hard as it is for Levi to admit it, he loves that goddamn mutt.
There are commands flying out of his mouth, things that he knows the dog would recognize – and has recognized – under any other situation. But obviously, this occurrence is something paranormal, because he doesn’t even get as much as a sideways glance from the dog sprinting further and further away from him.
People are swearing at him among other things as he pushes through the crowds. But he is desperate, and the city life can’t stop him. This is his only companion, and that’s probably really fucking depressing in itself, but he wouldn’t know what to do without that big shit licking his face in the mornings. Without it there to beg for every scrap. Without – okay, he might be panicking.
Who would have ever guessed that Levi Ackerman would be losing his shit over a goddamn dog?
He’s about to do something drastic like call the National Guard when he finally sees it, and – oh god.
“It’s friendly!” Levi yells, hands lifted in the air.
“Yeah, I think I got that,” the man calls back, head barely visible beneath the mutt.
Levi doesn’t really know what else to do besides try and assure the unlucky soul that his personal bulldozer isn’t out for blood. “Just… just don’t move.” This has never happened before, especially never in public. Maybe he should have taken the vet’s advice and gotten the giant ball of fur fixed.
They are drawing a crowd, and Levi feels like this is turning into some twisted, sideshow porno being played out before his eyes. He really hopes that he doesn’t get charged with public indecency.
“I don’t think I could if I tried,” the voice sounds a little strained, no doubt from having the fucking elephant of a pet on top of him. Levi wonders if he should call the fire department.
He moves closer, and god what did Levi do to deserve this? It was bad enough to walk in on his parents getting down and dirty all those years ago. Now, he is going to be scarred with his dog’s sexcapades. Brilliant. At least he’s sure about one thing, they can never take this route again.
“Oi, you horny wanker,” Levi tries calling out, but the dog doesn’t even acknowledge him. There are people snickering behind him now, and Levi sort of wants the ground to swallow him up whole. “Tch, save it for when you’re watching Animal Planet!” But nothing he says seems to be working, the dog just content to go to town on the poor guy beneath it. Levi honestly wouldn’t be surprised if people were filming this by now.
“I can’t feel my legs,” the man’s voice is muffled by the concrete he is being pressed into, and Levi thinks that he might actually be facing a lawsuit.
Clearing his throat, Levi lowers his voice into a tone he’s only had to use when he found a pile of shit on his goose down pillow, “Stop. Now.” Hearing the tone aloud causes the blood to chill in his own veins, and everything seems silent as the dog stops thrusting its hips.
It turns to look at him, eyes glazed over in something Levi doesn’t even want to think about right now. And for a second, Levi feels like he’s succeeded.
Then it continues humping the poor guy like a sex-crazed maniac.
He’s definitely facing a lawsuit.
With all of his options exhausted, the only thing left Levi can think to do is physically push the dog off. He’s not sure how testosterone works, but he has a faint feeling that it might up strength, because the dog is almost solid as a fucking wall.
“C’mon, asshole, move.” Levi’s face is pressed into the dog’s side, hands pushing relentlessly against the beast as the man below has gone completely silent. Maybe he will be facing a homicide charge instead. But then finally, finally, the dog moves, scurrying over to the side and off the violated victim.
Levi lets out a deep sigh, palm running over his face as he contemplates about how deep the shit he’s in probably is. I knew I should have gotten a Chihuahua, Levi thinks. He snatches up the leash, eyes narrowed at the dog currently wagging its tail like nothing terrible just happened.
“Bad fucking dog. I’m buying you the generic dog food next time, you goddamn pervert.” It seems to pick up on Levi’s anger, whining as it drops its head and tries to press into Levi’s uncovered leg. “That puppy dog bullshit won’t work this time.”
“Promise you won’t go too hard on him?” It’s not like Levi forgot about the guy that was subject to his dog’s advances, it’s just that he’d like to forget and avoiding eye contact seemed like a good place to start. But as he turns to face the man, he realizes just how wrong he was.
Beautiful doesn’t really begin to describe him, and if Levi tried, he’d probably never be able to put into words how utterly gorgeous the man is. Brunet hair blown in a chaotic mess that somehow looks incredibly sexy on this guy, bright, green eyes that Levi could definitely see himself getting lost in, and that smile. God, that smile. All teeth and brilliant. Makes Levi’s stomach flip in a couple hundred different ways.
And all he can do is stand there like an idiot, mouth agape and probably drooling.
The guy laughs, and Levi swears that he’s never this inarticulate, but all he can do is stare like this man is Christ resurrected.
“I’d suggest getting him fixed.” Levi can faintly hear the dog whine beside him, but he finds himself focusing on the way the man’s mouth moves. The way it twists into that beautiful smile. “I’m Eren, by the way.” There’s a hand extended towards him, and Levi does that stupid thing where he doesn’t do anything. Just continues to stare at the hand until it’s awkwardly drawn back behind Eren’s head. “And, um, you are?”
“Gorgeous.” His eyes widen. “Shit, no, Levi. I’m Levi.” Eren laughs again, and instead of the awkward tension he was expecting, everything sort of dissipates into a comfortable ease in which Levi can totally forget his dog humped Eren for a good ten minutes.
“Well, Levi, I teach an obedience class down at the dog park on Sina. I could give you my card if you’re interested?”
“Yes.” Levi doesn’t even let a beat pass before he’s replying, a little bit of hope filling his heart at the thought of seeing Eren again. The brunet giggles again, digging into his wallet to pull out a white business card.
“Here you go. It’s every Monday and Wednesday. Hope to see you there, Levi!” And with that, Eren is walking past him back down the street. Levi looks down at the card in his palm, smiles when he sees the poorly drawn dog beside the name of the class, Can’t Be Tamed: Dog Obedience Training by Eren Jaeger. He tucks the card in his wallet, turning to the mutt sitting beside him.
“Extra treats for you tonight.”