Chapter Text
When Kanaya wakes up from the blood frenzy, her stash is empty.
She tries to breathe, but her panic clutches at her chest nevertheless; she's been doing this for six sweeps and she still can't handle the hunger even if the blood is dead. The front of Kanaya's dress is drenched in blood, she's horrified, alone, and she knows she can't run forever just because she can't control herself long enough to pass.
The isolation has only made it worse. She knows that.
There's only one thing she can do.
She crawls into her recuperacoon until the overwhelming bloodlust satisfaction, self-loathing, warmth, numbness, all of it starts to subside. Travel can wait until tomorrow.
Kanaya appeared to come of age in this region, which is a relief, because now she can go about her life actively looking four sweeps of age and a matured troll, and try to grow with the trolls she knows here.
It's a pity it took her fleeing the region and drinking her whole stash to realize the upsides of staying where she started so long ago, with trolls she stupidly began to trust and care about. But she's back, and it can be all right again, if she can only control herself.
The others helped before, though they didn't know a thing about who and what she really was. They'll help again, as long as they aren't scattered too far across space, too busy for her. That's the most terrifying thing. If she's alone, forever, she knows what she'll become.
Kanaya wants to be a troll. It can't be impossible to do that, not for a little while.
The problem is, Kanaya can't explain where she was to them, not easily, not once she sees the news that she abandoned them all right before what appears to have been a literally fatal breakdown amongst the group. She can't think about whether or not she could've saved Tavros, Equius, or Nepeta, because she knows she could have. She knows who else could have, but didn't. She doesn't like being angry, she's never allowed herself to be truly angry in six sweeps or more, so she just breathes.
Of course he did nothing.
She can have a normal day. She can sit on her husktop chatting with 'older' jadebloods about the Mother Grub at a stimulant shop, and be a normal troll. It almost works, for a handful of moments, then someone sits across from her and pushes her husktop screen down.
"Maryam," she says, "we have got to talk. Lots to catch up on!"
She stares dumbly at her. "Vriska?" she asks, like an idiot.
Vriska grins, all sharp and provocative. She tries not to react to that. "Haven't seen you in months. What's up with that????????"
She can hear the multiple question marks, and feel the flushcrush creeping back up on her. Oh, no. This is bad. "I… am busy?" she more asks than states.
"Are you?" Vriska answers, and leans back in her chair. "You know who I ran into, by the way?"
"Who?" She's dreading this, but she says nothing.
"Ampora. He asked me about you. I found that reeeeeeeally interesting, did you change your mind about boys?" She doesn't let Kanaya answer. "Seems pitch to me. He's still chasing Peixes, though, how sad is that?"
Kanaya is not sure she's up for a Vriska gossip session. She definitely doesn't want to talk about Ampora. "Jealous?" she asks, all pithy.
Vriska looks utterly delighted at that. "Oh, there it is. I remember you having fun moments."
"It's been months," she reminds her, uncomfortable for a reason she can't exactly name. "I hope you remember me. I mean. I would expect."
"Blushing," Vriska notes, and leans forward. "Was Tavros right to be a little bit jealous?"
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. "Vriska," Kanaya starts. "About Tavros, are you – "
Vriska pushes right past that. "Let me buy you dinner," she says, eyes glinting with interest. "Or are you done with me? On to Ampora?"
"Definitely not Ampora," she says. Then she realizes what she's kind of said, and in a split second she doubles down. "Got a place in mind?" she asks, far more boldly than she's ever dared but somehow very bad at this. Aren't rainbow drinkers supposed to be suave?
Vriska looks the best kind of surprised. "Yeah," she says, and shoulders her bag. "We're close enough to dinner, don't you think? Don't want you running off on me."
"Early dinner then." It occurs to Kanaya only then that she'll have to eat actual troll food, and that this is going to be terrible, but Vriska is standing there expectantly watching her, beautiful from head to toe. For the first time Kanaya notices Vriska's wearing the dress she made for her, and she wants more than anything to try. "Vriska."
"Yeah?" She turns back, incidentally tossing her hair, and wow does Kanaya not care about the airs Vriska's putting on, even as she brushes off Gamzee's murder spree, because they're working despite all of Kanaya's reservations. "Are you coming?"
She stands, puts away her husktop, and smiles briefly. "Lead the way."
Kanaya can't help but be skeptical, and happy, but skeptical all over again, during the date, because it doesn't seem likely that Vriska just woke up yesterday deciding that Kanaya was even worth consideration as a viable romantic prospect. Even as Vriska's sharp, sarcastic, bold, fingers twirled in her hair as she eyes her, Kanaya's wondering if this was a chance meeting after all. Most of all she's wondering if she cares.
Eating food is terrible. So is the doubt. But both of them are worth it. They're worth the wry tilt of Vriska's head, the way Kanaya doesn't feel alone, or anywhere near it. It's all worth feeling like a real troll again.
Vriska's hand creeps onto hers, insinuates its grip around hers, and she exhales slowly.
"I should go," Vriska drawls. "Irons in the fire. Are we on for, hmm. Tomorrow? I'd say day after but I have plans. You know, busy busy!"
Kanaya looks at their linked hands, then to the challenge in Vriska's face. "Yes," she says decisively.
Vriska looks victorious, but Kanaya considers herself the victor today.
There's no point in waiting, now. Trolls will have seen her. Vriska may have spread the word herself.
GA: Hello
CG: OH HOLY FUCK.
CG: ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS ALIVE.
CG: THIS IS NEW INFORMATION I FOUND OUT FROM HER AND NOT FROM SEEING HER IN TOWN FLIRTING WITH ONE OF THE WORST TROLLS IN EXISTENCE.
CG: GREAT NEWS.
GA: Karkat
CG: SHUT UP, I'M STILL RAGING.
GA: Yes I See That
CG: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?
GA: It's Complicated
CG: SIMPLIFY IT.
CG: BOIL IT DOWN FOR ME.
CG: WHY YOU RAN.
CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE SHIT I'VE HAD TO PUT UP WITH RECENTLY.
CG: AND YOU LEFT ME.
GA: I Was Never Your Moirail
CG: MY MOIRAIL IS NOW FIRMLY IN DARK CARNIVAL FUCKSTICK LAND.
CG: YOU'D KNOW THAT IF YOU WERE AROUND.
GA: I Am So Sorry About What Happened
GA: But I Needed Some Time
GA: Can I See You
CG: OH YOU NEED SOMETHING.
CG: ROMANTIC ADVICE ON VRISKA?
CG: DON'T BOTHER, I KNOW I'M RIGHT.
CG: DIDN'T WE ALREADY SAY "BAD IDEA"?
CG: OR SHE JUST FLUSHES AT YOU FOR A SECOND AND YOU FORGET SHE'S A TOTAL PSYCHO.
CG: WHO FUCKED UP TAVROS FOR HIS VERY SHORT LIFE AND TURNED HIM INTO HER MATESPRIT WITH MINDGAMES.
CG: DO YOU WANT TO BE A SERKET MINDSLAVE?
CG: REALLY.
GA: If I May Interject
CG: BY ALL MEANS!
CG: ACTUALLY TALK TO ME.
CG: IT'LL BE AN INTERESTING CHANGE.
GA: I Want To Tell You
GA: Face To Face
GA: And I Want To Understand What's Gone Wrong Since I Left
GA: Can I See You
CG: YEAH, FINE.
CG: BUT I'M STILL PISSED AT YOU.
GA: I Assumed Nothing Less
CG: GOOD.
CG: YOU'RE COMING TO ME?
GA: Yes
CG: OKAY.
CG: KANAYA.
GA: Yes
CG: SEE YOU LATER.
She takes a deep breath, and presses her face into her hands.
This is not how she wanted this to play out. But she should have told him years ago. It was cruel not to. It was unnecessary, and –
AG: Hey.
AG: I know you're supposed to play it cool and everything and wait for the d8????????
AG: But I just wanted to say something.
GA: Hmm
GA: All Right
AG: Pro8a8ly you think I'm up to something.
AG: Am I wrong?
GA: Well
AG: Yeah, I thought may8e.
GA: Are You
AG: Do you think I am?
GA: I Don't See Why That's Relevant
AG: You went out with me anyway.
AG: Do you care if I am?
GA: Of Course I Would
GA: Are You
AG: No.
AG: Do you 8elieve me?
GA: Does It Matter
AG: It does to me.
Kanaya just stares at her husktop screen, the cursor blinking.
GA: I Want To
AG: Then try.
AG: I know what everyone thinks about what happened between me and Tavros.
AG: I've grown up.
AG: And you wouldn't let me do that.
AG: Would you?
GA: No
GA: I Wouldn't
AG: You'd 8etter not.
GA: Try Not To Start Something
GA: I'll Finish It
GA: You Know I Can
AG: Yeah.
AG: Ampora said.
A burst of keystrokes go into the textbox when she hits the husktop keyboard. She tries to calm down.
GA: Tomorrow
AG: Tomorrow.
GA: All Right
AG: Good. ::::)
Kanaya's too old to not know that Vriska isn't telling the whole truth. But she wants this to be real, and it might just take some effort to change her mind. Even if she can't it's clear Vriska knows there'll be a reckoning. A reckoning of what magnitude, though, Vriska couldn't imagine.
She's bit into her lip without realizing it. It's bleeding, just a little, and her head hurts. It's time to dip into her stash again.
Karkat looks at her like he can see right through her, and for a second she wonders if he's figured her out. Then he makes a ridiculous face and storms towards her to give her a quick hug. She stands there, stunned, then paps him gently, and he makes a strained sound of amusement before backing off completely.
"Yeah, so," he says, "hive."
She nods and follows him inside; the place is empty. "What," she starts, startled.
"See, I, I was going to tell you, but then you were gone, and, fuck." He runs his fingers through his hair and tugs in frustration. "I have to leave. Run away. Like a fucking coward. Because, fuck, Kanaya."
"Karkat," she says, measured. Someone has to remain steady today, even if it's Kanaya with her fierce loathing of her own weakness.
Karkat gestures broadly, sharply. "I'm not sure I even care why you left. I just need someone to come with me. I can't do it alone. Gamzee went shithive maggots on all of us, on me, and we still don't know what happened to Tavros. That's how I knew I'm inevitably fucking next, because there are trolls left and right trying to cull whoever isn't a perfect shade of blue or what the fuck ever. I know you have something going on, too, but once you ran there wasn't any – "
She paps him again. He's shaking. "I have to show you," he says.
This is getting more distressing as they go. "Karkat."
He takes a claw and runs it across his palm, barely scratching it, and she nearly flinches at the smell of his blood, and it's – "Oh," she says softly. She'd respected his wishes. She hadn't looked or smelled or anything. She'd held back. She should have checked.
"Even if Gamzee or whoever doesn't get to me first, they'll ask me to enlist. Then they'll realize what I am," he says, in harsh self-loathing, "then I'm culled to fuck. I should let Gamzee kill me. He'd get a commendation."
She wants to sympathize, but now his blood is welling to the cut, and she wants to pin him down and rip open his throat at a visceral level she's rarely experienced. "You should do something about that cut."
Karkat looks down, suspicious. "Did you not notice the horrible mutant thing?"
"I did," Kanaya says. She pulls fabric from her sylladex and rips it easily, taking his hand, somehow managing to resist the urge to rip open all the veins in his wrist to taste his beautiful red blood. She binds his hand, and he's thankfully sobered. "I had something to tell you, too."
"I'm not actually mad at you," he insists. "Just come with me. I don't want, I don't trust – "
"Karkat, listen." No, that's not right. "Look." She shifts it, in her head, and his face reflects her light.
He stares. "Oh," he says slowly. "Fuck."
She nods, holding his gaze. "I don't hurt anyone," she promises, "but there could be trolls who will hurt me, and it's for the best I make an effort to pass as a troll before they understand what I am. That's why – Karkat, I don't know." She could protect him, couldn't she? She could do one good thing, after she's failed three, three of her friends in the most permanent way by running like a coward. The idea makes her dizzy in the best way. "If we go…"
Karkat looks down at her hand grasping his. "You could kill me," he suggests. "I get out of this mess, you get dinner."
"I am not killing you," Kanaya says firmly, and squeezes his hand. It's all clicked into place; all she needs is a reason to hold on tightly to herself and her bloodlust. He can be it. She has to believe that. "If you want my help, we can go. Together."
"So, no Vriska," he concludes rapidly. "Yeah, this is looking like an all-around good plan. How are we going to fuck it up? A question for the ages."
Vriska. Vriska and the second date. It's all irrelevant. Her flushcrush is irrelevant. "We won't. Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," he agrees. "Dusk. I know you can do the sun but fuck no, sorry. Don't leave me again."
He almost tosses that in without her notice. "Absolutely not," Kanaya insists. "Just get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."
He still looks panicked. It's troubling to see – irritation, frustration, insecurity, those are all Karkat looks, but outright fear on his face makes her feel sick. "Yeah," he says, "uh, I'll try. Try not to die, I'll do my best too."
"Karkat. We're fine." There's no point in pressing it; he already knows. "Sleep."
"I can try." He pushes his hair back. "I'll see you."
It's hard to turn her back on him, but she has to. For now.
The problem Kanaya has after this is her closet.
It's not packing it that's the problem. It's the outfit hanging in the front. It's what she picked out for the second date. She's being an idiot. But she loves wearing red, she looks good in red, and she wanted to see Vriska's face, to gauge if she was genuinely flushed back.
To gauge whether or not it was all yet another game, to get at her, to get at someone else.
Karkat's paranoia is rubbing off on her. She frowns.
You're running, she reminds herself. Vriska is behind you.
She puts on the fucking skirt. Then the top. Then she grabs her husktop.
GA: You Tended To Be Online Late
GA: As I Recall
GA: I Need To See You
GA: I'll Be At Your Hive Soon
AG: Wow.
AG: Yeah.
AG: Come on over, Maryam.
Kanaya realizes how it sounds, just then. She decides not to address that in particular.
GA: I'll See You Soon
She draws out her lipstick, and applies it deliberately. Then she leaves.
When Vriska opens the door, there's an awkward pause, and her gaze rakes over Kanaya. Someone has to say something. "I," Kanaya starts, but Vriska shakes her head in amused impatience and pulls her in for a kiss.
This is happening. And Kanaya sinks into it like an idiot, desperate, letting the indigo flush of blood through Vriska's neck fuel her fervor despite herself. They stumble into her hive and against a wall, Vriska's hand creeping along Kanaya's side. "I, um," Kanaya mumbles between kisses.
"Yeah?" Vriska asks, all cool and mussed and gorgeous, how a girl should look during a makeout session. "Gonna make me slow down?"
She genuinely doesn't know how to answer that, because she really wants Vriska's hand to go where it clearly is aiming for, but she didn't come here for this. Or maybe this is the way to do it, use her, leave her; it's the least that Vriska has earned. But she says, "I'm leaving again. A job, I got a job."
"Really," Vriska says, and curls her fingers into Kanaya's hair, around one of her horns, then pulls her so close that Kanaya expects another kiss, but she goes on. "Let me know if you plan on coming back."
"I – " Then she's being kissed so brutally that she practically folds underneath it. There's Vriska's hand again, and Kanaya pulls her closer by the waist, and –
And when Vriska's clearly desperate to get her shirt off, and her mouth is against Kanaya's throat like somehow Kanaya needs to be convinced, she has to pull away because the rapid flow of Vriska's blood is too much. She makes excuses and withdraws to another room, a dark room, and breathes in the shadows. After a few minutes, there's footsteps, and Vriska's leaning against the threshold of the door.
"What do you want to do?"
Kanaya stares at her, her mind racing. "This is a bad idea."
Vriska moves towards her, and pins her to the door, her breath warm on Kanaya's face. "You want to eat me alive, don't you," she murmurs.
Kanaya flinches away from Vriska. "What?"
"Do you want to taste me?" Vriska's voice is low, sultry, and peaking terrible confused arousal in Kanaya despite herself. "I think I could enjoy that."
"Vriska," Kanaya murmurs, as Vriska tilts her head, briefly baring her neck before her hair falls across it. She knows. She has to know. "What are you doing?"
"Don't you want me?" Vriska's hand seeks down Kanaya's chest between her legs to just barely stroke her there. "What if I give you everything you want?"
Kanaya can't deny it anymore. "Who told you?"
Vriska laughs, beyond pleased. "Why so nervous?" she asks. "Anything to do with the Pyropes?"
She wants to go still, calm, but Vriska's still touching her, and she feels herself growing more and more unsteady, flushed, the dark desire to rip open Vriska's throat while she pails her so hard she dies in glory. "What do you mean?" she asks, voice trembling even as she tries a tone that's something around casual.
"Terezi and her older sister were looking for you. And I got them to tell me why." Kanaya squirms as Vriska holds her gaze, mischief and arousal in her eyes. "Does anyone know? Did you bother? Or were you just going to run away again?"
Vriska's pushed her skirt over her hips now, and Kanaya squirms as Vriska seeks for her nook. "I was," Kanaya starts, but her throat is too tight to really speak. "No one knows. Mostly."
"Were you the whole time?" Vriska's fingers press into Kanaya's nook, and Kanaya is already so wet she can't make herself resist the contact. She needs to go, but her hips press into Vriska's touch, and she finds herself pulling Vriska closer to press her mouth against her neck. Vriska's voice gets breathier, weaker, as she goes. "I can't believe I didn't notice."
"Do you still want to talk?" Kanaya whispers against Vriska's skin. Maybe she can do this once. Maybe she can resist killing Vriska where they stand, get this out of her system, and never see her again.
Vriska presses back against Kanaya's nips at her neck, her fingers still pressing in a fierce rhythm into Kanaya's nook. "No," she murmurs.
Kanaya surrenders, not sure if she's drowning in more fear or desire, and fumbles to the softest place they can get to so she can press Vriska down and shove her hand down her pants to feel her own soaking nook. She shudders as the instinct overwhelms her, and she nips hard into Vriska's skin enough to taste blood.
"Oh," Vriska gasps, a clear reaction to the bite, and Kanaya drinks only for a moment before the reality crashes over her like a wave to drown her.
She scrambles back from Vriska, yanks her skirt down, and presses her hands to her face. "No. No."
"Please," Vriska says, gaze tight on Kanaya's face and full of need.
"How do you know all of this?" Kanaya demands, doing her best to not get as agitated as she knows is inevitable. "The Pyropes? Ampora?"
"Does it matter?" Vriska props herself up on the elbows.
Bloodlust, self-loathing for losing control, fear of true death, it's all too much for her. "If the Pyropes, if hunters are trying to kill me, that matters."
"Oh, no. They were going to kill you but they really want to kill Eridan," Vriska explains, and tries to catch her gaze again. "Hey, look. I'm not gonna turn you in. If I was I would have already. I want you."
"You want me." It's hard to believe. She wants the bite; Kanaya was her way to it. Kanaya tries not to sound bitter, but it's hard not to be. Secrets, lies, and if it wasn't for Ampora she wouldn't have to live with any of this. "What's the game?"
She sighs. "Does there have to be a game?"
"You knew and you didn't say anything, you tried to seduce me into biting you. You lied," Kanaya says in razor tones, rigid as she stands. "And you waited to tell the truth. There's a game. What is it?"
Vriska looks taken aback. "I'm trying to help everyone," she says. "And maybe take Terezi down a peg. She thinks she's a born legislacerator just because of her sister."
"So this is your feud with Terezi?"
"And you!" She looks offended, now. "Maybe I like you! Did you think of that????????"
"Maybe," Kanaya says coolly. "But that can't be all."
"You said you were going to try to trust me," Vriska presses her.
"What happened with Tavros?" Kanaya asks shortly. "No one seems to know."
"Oh, Gamzee probably," Vriska dismisses. "He lost his mind, who cares."
Kanaya feels sick. "You dated him. And you don't care?"
"It wasn't working." Vriska sighs. "Why are you interrogating me?"
"Vriska!" She gives up. "Forget it. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"Running?" Vriska tosses her hair. "There's better ways."
"Whatever Eridan told you – or whatever he's – I'm not killing anyone," Kanaya fumbles through, firm if not smooth about it. "Better that I run."
"He's been doing this all wrong, attracted all the wrong attention," Vriska says casually. "And they know you're his."
"I am not his," Kanaya snaps, anger coursing through her vividly before she can rein the reaction in.
Vriska's eyebrows raise. "You're missing the point."
"He's going to kill them, isn't he?" Her head is starting to hurt. "I don't have the time for this."
"I'm flattered to have been factored into your schedule," Vriska says blithely.
Kanaya fires an annoyed look her way, and presses her fingers to her temples. "Where did you see Ampora?"
"In town, but he's at his hive now, duh. Do you want to go now?"
"'Want' doesn't really come into it." She hates him, so much. "You don't have to come with me."
"I can handle him. You know I can."
"You really can't," Kanaya says evenly. "You think you can, because we were holding back."
Vriska looks completely intrigued. "The stories are true, then? All the perks?"
"Yeah, perks," she says, in weary irritation, "they're completely worth it. I'm going to deal with Eridan, I don't care if you come with, but do as I say. If I say go, go."
A satisfied look crosses Vriska's face, and Kanaya wills herself to remember this whole conversation and everything leading up to it, her light dismissal of Tavros, but there's something about how beautiful, how dangerous she is that makes it all the more enticing. She should know better. Maybe if she'd ever tried being with someone in any real way before, it would be different. She's never trusted herself to date before, and maybe she was right to.
Karkat would lose his mind about this. But as long as she's back in time to flee with him, it doesn't matter. All she has to do is stop Eridan and the Pyropes from killing each other, then she can go.
Simple. Sure.
"Let's go," she manages. "Before it's too bright. I'm leaving within a few hours."
Vriska doesn't move. "Are you ready to do what needs to be done?"
Kanaya stops. "What?"
"If he's insistent on killing them, and you don't want him to, then – are you going to deal with him?"
Kanaya is stiff across from Vriska. "I said I'm not killing anyone."
"Either you kill him or you let him kill them, or they kill him, and you're party to that," Vriska says, infuriatingly logical, or something like it. "You know I'm right."
Kanaya could not be paid enough to acknowledge that. "Come with me or don't."
"Whatever you say," Vriska says airily, and follows her out of the hive.
Kanaya almost wishes she hadn't come back, because so far it's been completely insane and she just wants to be somewhere quiet where she can make clothes and maybe just be a jadeblood without it becoming a big deal that she happens to drink blood.
It's never going to happen, but it's a nice fantasy in the midst of all of the trouble.
Someone got to Eridan's hive before they did. They aren't inside, they're just right on the edge of the island, obscured by the edge of the ship, but Kanaya can smell them.
"They're here," she says to Vriska. Her stomach drops. "And they know we're here."
"Then why haven't they come to us?" Vriska straightens. "We should talk to them. Or, you know, deal with this problem. Unless you have a problem dealing with problems."
Kanaya eyes Vriska with irritation. "You need to relax," she says, "and stop suggesting murder as a solution to everything."
"You're terrible at this rainbow drinker thing. Well, no," Vriska allows, "you're an amazing kisser. Very romance novel – "
"Shh," Kanaya hushes her, not entirely to stop her talking like that, but it's a helpful side-effect. She sighs, pushes her hair past her horns, and stands straight, walking towards the hunters.
She can hear their bloodflow within a distance, and that's when Terezi emerges from behind an energy shield. "That's far enough," she says, and draws her swordcane, a resigned look to her posture. "Kanaya."
She hates everything about this. "When did you find out?" she asks, her voice admirably not shaking.
Latula Pyrope emerges, Redglare to the shining teeth, tossing her hair with an inappropriate smile. "We knew. We just wanted to keep an eye on you. But Ampora was planning on turning someone else, and you came back, so… we had to do something! About you and about him."
"And I keep telling her you're not dangerous." Terezi sounds desperate to be right, and Kanaya just wants to take her hands and pull her aside to talk this out. It won't ever be that way from now on, though. Maybe it was never meant to be that way. "Are you?" she persists.
"Not unless I have to be," Kanaya answers honestly.
Terezi growls, and it takes a lot of effort for Kanaya not to back off a step, but that's when she glances back to see Vriska approaching. "Hey, sis," she greets Terezi.
Latula touches her arm. "She's not turned yet," she tells Terezi. "Bit, obviously, but not turned."
"I wasn't going to turn her," Kanaya says rapidly, horrified. "I just – " Lost control? Got turned on? Embarrassing, but also very bad.
"I'm just backup," Vriska says, with a smile. "We were coming here to help you."
Damn it, Vriska. "I wanted to talk to Eridan."
"Why?" Latula asks, faux-casual, a blade's edge to it.
"Because he was going to take you down." Kanaya thinks they're being particularly ungracious, but it doesn't surprise her from hunters. "I'm doing you a favor."
"He's our kill," Terezi says, terse. "So back off, Vriska."
"Please, she hates him, she wants to kill him," Vriska points out. "It's not about me. I'm just being nice."
"Were you nice to Tavros?" Terezi fires back. "You were the last one to see him before he disappeared leaving a huge trail of blood. Disposing of the evidence, Vriska?"
"I'm soooooooo tired of you all talking about this like I had something to do with it," Vriska exclaims, with a broad gesture. "He's gone! Gamzee killed him! Trolls die. Pretty common thing!"
A terrible feeling is clawing inside of Kanaya, but she ignores it and looks at the Pyropes. "He knows we're out here. Better I talk to him than you face him."
"He won't kill either of us." Does Latula always sound this friendly, even when she's a clear threat? "He's not old enough to."
"You might be surprised." The last thing Kanaya wants is for Eridan to feast on the Pyropes then run off to turn Feferi and flee the region. "You should go."
Terezi looks unconvinced. "How do we know you're not protecting him?"
"He killed me," she says archly. "I don't plan on forgiving that, ever. So go. I'll handle him."
"Our kill," Latula echoes Terezi. "We have a contract."
Kanaya didn't know she could go this tense, her joints aching with the strain. "They're putting contracts out now?"
"Bounties, actually," Terezi says, her voice not nearly as calmly wry as usual. "I wanted to let you go, because otherwise you're dead, I thought as long as you promised not to turn anyone else, but Latula – "
"You are what you are," Latula says, somehow cheerfully sober. "You've already bit Serket. Sorry. You're not on the list, but we can still bring you in."
"I won't turn anyone," Kanaya insists. "I would never."
"It's your instinct – "
"One I've never had!"
"Can you keep it down?" Eridan shouts out of his door.
The group falls silent. Kanaya ignores them and storms towards Eridan, feeling Vriska follow her. She chooses not to bother chiding Vriska on it for now. The hunters seem to stay back for the moment and Kanaya feels like she can breathe again, even though she hates Eridan so much it physically hurts.
"Kanaya." Eridan eyes her. "I didn't think I'd see you again after you left. Make your own nest yet?" He laughs at glancing past her to Vriska. "Well on your way, from the looks of it."
"Absolutely not." Kanaya focuses on the point. "Don't kill the hunters."
"I have to," Eridan says, in that horrible supercilious tone, "are you stupid? They have a bounty, they won't leave me alive. Not you, either."
Everyone seems to be up to date on the situation besides her. "How do you know about the bounty?"
Eridan looks past her. "Hey, Serket."
"Hey," Vriska greets him.
Kanaya looks between them. "In the hive," she orders both of them, and Vriska sidles past her with an appreciative look. Eridan gives them both a suspicious look, wipes his mouth pointedly. but as Kanaya says and does nothing with a stony expression, he leads her inside.
A lowblood troll is unquestionably dying in the corner. Kanaya grips her hands into fists and does her best to ignore it, for now. There's little she can do for him. "Tell me what's going on," she directs Eridan once they're away from a window.
"What? You mean besides the Pyropes? Who I wanted to kill years ago, but you refused, by the way?" Eridan needles her. "Besides that, I don't know, I keep telling you that we need a larger nest. You think a jadeblood would be able to appreciate that, but no. I'm gonna get to Feferi and don't you dare laugh," he warns Vriska, who stifles laughter into a smirk, "and then we're on our way to annihilating all of the – "
"Oh, are you kidding me," Kanaya says acidly, "who cares, no, this isn't about that."
"Why did you run away, anyway?" Eridan presses on. "Cuz – "
"Not that either," Kanaya says. "You two look shifty."
"I do not look shifty," Vriska says with great amusement, "or at least not shiftier than normal. Remember who you're looking at, Maryam."
"Cuz now I've had to go looking for someone new, which I wanted anyway because you are so useless," Eridan says, in the tone of someone who's said this a thousand times before to someone who is never going to care to acknowledge it.
Kanaya draws her lipstick, and he goes silent and still. "You're not turning anyone else," she says. "And you're not killing the hunters."
"You wouldn't dare." Eridan just stares at her. He usually looks murderous, but this is rainbow drinker darkness in his eyes.
She doesn't care. She's not scared of him, not right now, not more scared than she is of watching the Pyropes die on her watch. No one else gets to die. "Oh, I really would."
"Ha," Vriska says, quietly enough, but Kanaya catches it and looks back at her.
"What?"
"I knew you could. Go on. We might as well solve this."
"You can't, and you won't, not me or the Pyropes, we all know it. Go, I'll deal with them, and I expect you to give me the respect I deserve when I see you next." Eridan puts his hands on his hips, his cloak spreading.
There's really no option. Kanaya punches him.
"Whoa," Vriska says warmly.
Eridan swears loudly, swiftly up and grabbing Kanaya by the shoulders and shoving her up against the wall. "Respect," he insists, a growl behind it. "I'll have it."
"Not from me." Kanaya shoves him back and lands in a crouch. "You want those hunters, you go through me."
"Easily." Eridan slams his hand against her throat once she straightens, choking her, but she rips through the skin of his wrist with her claws. At his flinch she tackles him to the ground, her lipstick slipping from her fingertips. She panics, and then it rolls towards her and lands, capped, in her reach.
"You're weeeeeeeelcome," Vriska sing-songs.
Kanaya genuinely doesn't know what to do in that split second, but the hate and the desire to be free of it all overwhelms her. She shifts and draws the chainsaw out and hacks his head off.
She blinks. There's blood in her eyes. She falls back, just slightly, and stumbles to her feet; she backs into a wall, hands over her face that slick her face with blood. When she dares look up, the floor underneath Eridan is hacked open, splintered there, his head just there in the carnage. She's killed someone. She's killed Eridan.
The bloodlust peaks at the taste of Eridan's blood on her lips, rainbow drinker blood even more intoxicating, and she sinks into dizzied, nearly sopor-addled terror until someone touches her shoulder. Vriska pulls her close and kisses her, chastely, then embraces her.
It's so undignified. But she nearly cries, more out of frustration than anything. Blood is fine. Enjoying it this much is wrong, but it's what she is.
She realizes, once her face hurts and her hands ache and the reality sets in, that the hunters might still be there. She goes to the window, unsure how much of an accurate survey she'll get through the shock, but checks around, sensing nothing.
"They left," she says dully to Vriska.
"You did the right thing," Vriska says.
Somehow, that's cold comfort from her. "This means I really have to go."
"I know." She slides her arms around Kanaya's waist from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder. "I'm sorry," she says softly. "This must suck."
There's more to this. There's more to Vriska. But she doesn't care, right now. She has worse things to worry about.
The sun is coming up.
Kanaya sleeps, against her rainbow drinker instincts, and regrets it when she wakes up with her claws dug into the side of her recuperacoon so tightly she almost has to pry them out. She paces, gets as much as she can into her sylladex, not having unpacked much in the first place, and heads to Karkat's early. The sun's just setting, and she can always get to his hive and hang out on her husktop waiting for him to wake up.
He's nowhere near awake when she gets there, so she opens up her husktop and blocks all of the others on Trollian. Then it's a matter of making a plan of where they're going to go. The best option they have is to somehow get onto a ship on the fleet and sneak off onto one of the colonies.
Colonies won't get conquered, after all, and they should be able to get false paperwork more easily than on Alternia. Hopefully.
This plan is terrible. They might be doomed.
"Wow, you're here, okay," Karkat says, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Are you ready to go?" Then he looks at her. "You look like shit."
"Thanks," Kanaya says dryly, and doesn't look up from her research on ship manifests. (All public, of course; no one's stupid enough to do what they're about to do, right?) "You should eat. I'm trying to figure out where we could go."
"No, what the fuck." Karkat's not ready to let it go. Great. "What happened?" Then it dawns on him, very unfortunately: "You saw Vriska."
"Um." Kanaya has no desire to look up now specifically.
"Kanaya!" Karkat gestures broadly just out of her field of vision. "Focus on the plan! Who cares about that sociopath? She's irrelevant. We have to go."
Kanaya can't hold it back any longer, her tone somehow even and shaky at once. "I killed Eridan."
Karkat is staring at her, and she still can't look him in the face. "What does Ampora have to do with oh you're kidding me," he finishes, realizing midway. "Of course. He was always weird about my blood."
"You were weird about your blood too," Kanaya reminds him, and adds as casually as she can, "he turned me. He was going to kill some hunters, though, and I – I had no choice." It comes out more pained than she'd like. "We have to go."
"There are hunters? Like rainbow drinker hunters? Well I guess," Karkat reasons. "Fuck. Can you – " She can't take this, even as he's talking, and shuts her husktop to bury her face in its cover. "Whoa, hey, Kanaya." He kneels beside her, and she shuts her eyes tightly until she feels him papping her with great sincerity.
"Karkat," she murmurs, but it's worked. It's all clicked. She leans against him.
"We'll get you out of here before you have to murder anyone," he assures her. "One fucker dead is too many fuckers dead, even if that fucker is Eridan."
She smiles into the husktop. "Yes."
He paps her one more time, more lightly than anything, and she dares lift her head. "You're okay with this?" she checks. "I'm not going to be easy."
"Neither am I," Karkat says honestly, and shifts away slightly. "We match."
This new, budding thing is the only genuinely good thing, and she has to hold onto it. "Are you going to eat?"
He nods, and goes to stand, before taking a paranoid glance out of the nearest window. He goes stiff. "Kanaya."
"What?"
"I, uh. Is there a reason why Terezi would be out there? I swear I just saw her stupid dragon hoodie."
"What do you mean you just – " She goes and looks to see it hanging on a branch as a clear warning. "Oh. Fuck," she says, inarticulately.
"What," Karkat says flatly, clearly unimpressed by being out of the loop yet again.
"The Pyropes." Kanaya ducks away from the window. "They aren't giving up. I should – "
"If you say 'I should go' I'll kill you myself," Karkat says evenly. "I'll talk to her. The Pyropes are the hunters? You must be fucking kidding me."
"I am not," Kanaya confirms, and leans heavily against the wall, away from the window.
"Well, fuck," he says, a little helpless. "What the hell is going on? There's too much rainbow drinker hoofbeast product going on here that I don't get. It's fucking ridiculous."
But it feels so real to her, the stark reality of what she is and always will be, what she sealed with a chainsaw across her sire's throat. "Eridan."
"Killing Ampora sounds pretty fucking sensible to me with all of that going on. But I can't fault you for self-loathing, I'd be a massive hypocrite and I never do that." Karkat doesn't seem to know what to do. "Hey, guess what, I'm going to talk to Terezi."
Kanaya stares at him, astonished. "That's a terrible idea."
"She knows we're both here! Why not try to talk to them? I know Terezi's serious about her legislacerator justice thing but – "
"They had a contract on Eridan's life and I killed him first," Kanaya says in a rush. "They can't be happy about that. And Redglare wants me dead just because I might turn someone and – we should just figure out a way to get out without them noticing."
"Not highly fucking likely and you know it," Karkat says, and takes a deep breath. "Time to go reason with Pyropes. Fun. Exactly what I wanted to do today."
"Please don't," Kanaya dares say.
Karkat shakes his head at her before she's even finished the sentence. "For you? I've got this."
He's going to go anyway. "Be careful." She has no argument against it anyway, nothing besides I'm scared.
He nods, goes, and Kanaya sits as still as she can to calm her nerves. Two minutes pass, and she can't bear the waiting any longer. She goes to the lowest floor, then looks outside, and watches them talk. She can't completely hear the discussion – Terezi and Karkat seem to be debating back and forth about whether or not a legislacerator has the right to hunt a suspect down without any proof of wrongdoing against the Empire or its laws, a debate she never expected Karkat to be a part of, but it does start to sound flirtatious until Latula cuts in, loudly.
"Focus, Terezi," she says, and puts her hands on her hips as she turns on Karkat. "It doesn't matter why we're here, not to you. Have you seen her?"
Kanaya strains her hearing, then, and can make it all out. "No," Karkat says, "and my point is that you'd better gather some proof before you start hunting a jadeblood down with weapons drawn, that's fucked up."
"You're being naive," Terezi says, a little annoyed.
"You're not a legislacerator! Not yet! So fuck off," he concludes. "‘Bye!"
"Dammit, Karkat," Terezi snaps, then. "This is important."
"Nope." Karkat turns away. "Get away from my hive. I have to eat and I don't want to see you doing dumb shit outside my window."
Latula draws her sword and Kanaya's bloodlust matches perfectly with her instinctive defense of Karkat rises at the threat, especially when the blade touches Karkat's back. "Don't move."
"Oh, for fuck's sake, you had better be joking," Karkat says, still as he can possibly go.
"Your friend Maryam has committed crimes against the Empire and means to commit worse ones, whether you want to believe it. So tell us where she is."
"No," Karkat says firmly, and Kanaya could kill him herself. Self-sacrifice? Now? Really?
"Latula," Terezi tries, her tone less sure, but her sister's sword doesn't move. "He doesn't know."
"He didn't say that, he says he doesn't have to. Those are two different things." Latula drags the tip of her sword lightly along his back, side, to his front. "So say it. 'I don't know where she is.'"
"I don't know where she is," Karkat says, and admirably he doesn't sound completely terrified. "Try her hive. Did that occur to you?"
Something happens, something subtle, something Kanaya can't see, but Terezi shouts, "Latula, no!", her sword draws back and starts to plunge forward, then there's a bright blue glow and a rush of black and blue, and teal blood all over the ground.
"No," Terezi screams, and goes after Vriska, who stands up, her full Mindfang gear practically soaked in Latula's blood – a perfect roll, Kanaya notes numbly. She moves, finally, rushes out at full rainbow drinker speed to haul Karkat away, and Terezi is still screaming, attacking Vriska in a fury, Karkat bleeding red with every panicked effort to cover it.
"It's okay. It's okay," Kanaya promises him in a rush.
"How is anything possibly okay?" Karkat demands, clutching at his wound. "VRISKA, YOU KILL HER, I KILL YOU."
"Oh, shut up, Karkat!!!!!!!"
Vriska knocks out Terezi with a blow of her sword to the side of the head, as Kanaya gets Karkat to his feet. There's silence between the three of them.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT," Kanaya finds herself shouting, raging and out of control with the amount of blood around, even though she knows better.
"Why wouldn't I?" Vriska retorts. "Why are you so… restrained? This is what we are. As trolls. Not even rainbow drinkers. Come on."
"Karkat let's go," Kanaya says in a rush, fury and the bloodlust fueling her and not even making her question. This is what she needed, this is the amount of blood and stupidity she needed to get her out of all this. "Vriska, don't follow me, don't even get close."
"Terezi's going to kill me," Vriska says, and eyes them with practiced ease. "I killed a legislacerator to save you. Don't you owe me something?"
Kanaya gestures frantically. "I never asked you to kill her! She didn't have to be killed! She wasn't going to – "
Karkat seizes her by the face, and the blood from his wound tilts her brain even further. "Kanaya," he says steadily, "she was going to kill me to get to you. Vriska did that for you. Now come the fuck on and stop letting this blood shit fuck you up."
He paps her firmly, and it breaks through just enough for her to be able to stop outright panicking, at least. "Fine," Kanaya says furiously. "She wasn't going to let me go and there was no way out, but – FINE, Vriska, what do you want?"
"You know what I want."
There's a moment when she seriously considers pinning Vriska to the ground and ripping her throat out to solve this problem once and for all, but that's rainbow drinker instinct, isn't it, and when has that ever been right? She reins it back and looks at her. "You want to go with us."
"Just say it. I want to be like you. And you, Vantas the mutant," Vriska says to him – Kanaya bristles as Karkat stares daggers at her – "it wouldn't be the worst idea for you either. You'll need to defend yourself if you don't want to get culled."
"Look at you and your brilliant plans as ever," Kanaya says harshly, overwhelmed. "Fine. Fine."
"You would," Karkat starts, hesitant. "Do you think?"
"I need to keep you safe. If you don't want to, that's fine. She – she – " Kanaya can't even say her name. "Come with me," she finishes, to Vriska.
Vriska is looking at her all flushed to hell, except it's all an act, isn't it, or is it, and she's so confused she can't pin it down, not anymore. She's rapidly pitch, flushed, pitch, pointlessly, why is she so terrible at this, at everything, why can't she save anyone or do anything? She jerks her head towards the hive and wastes no time once they're inside.
She seizes Vriska by the horn and pushes her against the wall, bares her neck, and swipes her hair away from her neck impatiently. Vriska's breath rushes, and she sinks her fangs into her neck at the same point as hours ago.
The sound Vriska makes is obscene. Kanaya's giving her everything she ever wanted. But some part of her wants to. It's not just her blood, the taste of live blood she's rarely allowed herself, it's not the power rush from just feeling a troll weaken against her, it's Vriska intoxicating her.
She goes limp. Kanaya leaves her there, and looks to Karkat. "Get the four-wheeled device," she says, "Vriska's going to need to lay down, and we still need to go."
Karkat is completely bereft. Kanaya can't blame him. "I…"
"I can't deal with both of you out. You have time to think about it. Get the four-wheeled device." Kanaya turns away to get Vriska, numb from the sheer power of the fresh blood pulsing through her.
She's dead, but her body races with energy, with fury, with fear, and she realizes she's everything Eridan wanted her to be.
Kanaya needs to do the right thing, now and forever, or she'll deserve Terezi's revenge. Maybe she already does.