Work Text:
A pair of big blue eyes stares right at him - and the world turns dark.
Kaeya blinks.
Diluc’s hair is spread out on the pillow, red lines on white like rivers of blood cutting through a plain of white sand. There’s a smile on his lips when their eyes meet, a sleepy, warm, beautiful smile. That’s right, his eyes are red; a beautiful deep red. Why did he think of them as blue? It must have been some kind of nightmare lingering around the edges of his mind, playing tricks on his memory; nothing to waste any thoughts on.
“Good morning,” Diluc says softly and Kaeya’s heart beats excitedly in his chest.
“Good morning..” he repeats, marveling at the sight in front of him, at the feeling of the soft bed beneath him and the touch of Diluc’s fingers on his arm, drawing invisible lines on his skin. He could get used to waking up like this - or falling asleep like this. Last night certainly was a night to remember, except..
..Kaeya doesn’t.
At that realization all sleepiness falls from him in an instant and he sits up in bed, the blanket slipping down to his waist. He looks around, recognizing the master bedroom of the Dawn Winery immediately. Diluc’s things are scattered across the room, clothes, books, a bottle and two glasses by the window sill, but also some things Kaeya recognizes as his own: his old coat, his boots, his leather-bound journal. He hasn’t seen it in years, believed it lost when he left their home for good after that fateful night. Did Diluc find it when he returned? A strange memento to keep. Kaeya’s gaze wanders back to the wine glasses by the window. Did they drink up here together last night? Enough to give in to a throw of passion and end up in bed together, so intoxicated that it erased all traces of memory from Kaeya’s mind?
“Are you alright?” comes Diluc’s concerned voice and his hand moves beneath the blanket to rest on Kaeya’s bare thigh. His touch feels good, but entirely unfamiliar.
“Was I drunk last night?” he asks and Diluc chuckles.
“I think we both were a little drunk. Why? Are you hungover?”
Kaeya takes a moment to focus on his body but doesn’t feel any discomfort in any part of it. In fact, he feels pretty good; better than he has in days.
“No, I just..” he starts, his eyes searching Diluc’s. Maybe it’s not the most romantic thing to admit that you have no memory of spending the night together first thing in the morning. “I’m really thirsty.”
Diluc yawns and sits up as well.
“Well, you’ll have time for a nice long breakfast. It’s still early.” He leans in to place a kiss on Kaeya’s shoulder and it sends warm tingles all the way up to his neck. “I have to go to the city but I’ll be back in the afternoon.”
Kaeya looks at him, his confusion growing by the second. “You want me to.. wait here for you?”
Diluc frowns. “Don’t you have work to do here?”
Kaeya blinks. “Uh.. here?”
“Where else?” Diluc asks. A short pause stretches between them, then Diluc laughs; the kind of free unburdened laugh Kaeya hasn’t heard since they were children. “You’re just as unfocused as I am, aren’t you?” Leaning in he steals a quick sweet kiss from Kaeya’s lips. “I can’t wait for Saturday to come,” he whispers.
Kaeya follows after him, yearning to get another kiss of those lips he’s desired for so long, but is denied. “What’s Saturday?” he asks, breathlessly. Diluc chuckles and turns his head to bite Kaeya’s shoulder. Gently.
“Don’t be mean. I know I’ve been talking about nothing else lately, but I’m really excited for it. I’ve waited a long time.”
There’s a genuine enthusiasm in Diluc’s expression when he says that and despite not having a clue what he’s talking about Kaeya doesn’t find it in himself to ask for clarification. Clearly some important event takes place on Saturday that he shouldn’t have forgotten about, but there are better ways to figure out what it is than asking directly and possibly hurting some feelings.
“Sorry,” Kaeya offers and Diluc seems content with that.
After that everything moves rather quickly. Diluc gets up to dress and Kaeya averts his eye out of politeness but eventually can’t deny himself sneaking a peek. Of course Diluc catches him looking and it makes a heat rise to his face that lasts for a good while. Kissing him goodbye Diluc tells him to enjoy breakfast and work and then rushes off, leaving behind a very confused Kaeya. Why is Diluc so casual about them hooking up? And what kind of work is he expecting him to do here at the Dawn Winery? But first things first. At least having breakfast sounds like something Kaeya can do without any difficulties. When he gets up to dress himself, however, he finds his clothes to be missing. In their stead are a pair of dark pants laid out for him, a dark shirt to match and an elegant green coat, lined with fine blue silk and fitting so perfectly when he tries it on there is no doubt that it is tailor-made. It even has a tag with his name on it inside. It looks like an expensive gift, the kind Diluc would make – and the kind Kaeya would certainly remember receiving. Unless Diluc only left it for him this morning? As he regards himself in the mirror he can’t deny he’s looking quite dashing, however more like a merchant and less like a knight.
Another thing that’s missing alongside his uniform is his vision. Unease settles heavily in Kaeya’s stomach and he makes a mental note to ask Diluc about it as soon as he can. He wouldn’t have taken it from him, would he? And he certainly didn’t lose it. He’s been drunk before often enough to know himself. Important things are important, even when he temporarily forgets which way to turn to get home.
When he goes downstairs he is greeted by another familiar face but Adelinde curtly explains that she has no time for idle chit-chat. She ushers him to the table and shortly after fills it with plentiful delicacies that make Kaeya’s mouth water. He’s thinking about how best to approach the issue of his unexplained memory loss with Diluc while enjoying his breakfast when the sound of a horse-drawn coach outside pulls him out of his thoughts.
“Did Diluc come back already?” Kaeya asks the maid who rushes past him to open the door. She bows her head briefly and answers without stopping. “I doubt it, Master Kaeya. It must be Master Crepus.”
The piece of bread Kaeya was chewing on gets stuck in his throat and he coughs violently until it falls out of his mouth and onto his plate with a comical sound. Struggling to catch his breath he replays her words in his mind. It must be Master Crepus. Pushing his chair back with a terrible screeching sound Kaeya gets up and stares at the open door, a sudden anxiety filling him. It’s impossible. He must have misunderstood her – dead men don’t come for visits. And yet, a strange mix of dread and anticipation fills Kaeya as he stares at the empty space behind the door, a treacherous hope against all reason.
Then, a familiar sound of shoes on wooden floors, a dark coat being handed to the maid, a flash of red hair. And Crepus Ragnvindr walks in as if he has been doing it every day for last 6 years.
Kaeya feels like he is about to faint.
“F-father?” he whispers, barely audible, but his voice must have carried through the room because Crepus looks up to meet his gaze. He smiles and Kaeya’s heart gives a sting that makes him wince.
“Kaeya, you’re up early. I thought I could start without you, but if you’re here already we might as well—are you alright? You’re pale as a ghost,” Crepus says, walking closer to the table. He rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, as Kaeya has seen him do many times, and the gesture is so familiar it sends Kaeya back into a time he often tried to make himself forget in recent years.
“Y-you’re.. here..” he croaks, his voice breaking over the words. Crepus looks mildly concerned but he smiles nonetheless, bringing up a hand to squeeze Kaeya’s shoulder reassuringly.
“Of course I am. Did you expect me to be late? I’m not the Ragnvindr who can’t get up in the morning.” Out of the corner of his eye Crepus notices the food on the table and with a happy little sound he reaches for a piece of cheese and pops it into his mouth. When he looks back at Kaeya he barely has time to comment on the tears on his face before he’s trapped in a tight embrace, Kaeya’s arms curling around his neck.
“Alright, alright,” Crepus says after a few moments, gently peeling Kaeya’s arms off his shoulders. “You’re a little over the moon, I get it. I was nervous too.” He looks at Kaeya with so much warmth in his eyes it makes him instantly self-conscious of the tears wetting his cheeks. Taking a step away Kaeya brings up his hands and wipes them away. Crepus gives his shoulder another squeeze.
“Why don’t you finish your breakfast and I’ll fill you in on how the meeting with our new buyer went?” He gently guides Kaeya back to his seat, who plops down on the chair, too dumbstruck to say anything. Crepus pulls up a chair for himself and steals another piece of cheese before pulling a scroll of paper from his pocket. Kaeya picks up his toast but it hovers in the air pointlessly while he stares at Crepus putting on his reading glasses to unroll the scroll and read out a few of the important key points.
Kaeya, of course, doesn’t get any of that. He’s busy staring at the way Crepus’ lips move, his forehead wrinkles, his glasses slip on his nose. The sound of his voice wanders through him like a ray of sunlight and for a moment he feels like he is eleven years old again, sitting at the breakfast table early listening to Crepus read his letters, while waiting for Diluc to finally make it out of bed and come downstairs half asleep with his messy bed-hair and his nightgown on inside out.
“—ya? Are you listening to me?”
Crepus’ voice pulls him out of this thoughts and Kaeya blinks, dropping his piece of toast.
“I am so sorry, what did you say?”
Crepus takes off his glasses and puts them on the table. Then he reaches across to place a hand on Kaeya’s, an amused smile gracing his features. “Why don’t you let me handle the preparations and go to see Diluc? I can tell you want to be with him.”
Kaeya shakes his head before he even processed the words. “Diluc? No, I can stay-“
Crepus shakes his head. “It’s alright. Take today off; you have a lot left to do I’m sure.” He gives Kaeya’s hand a soft pat. “I’ll see you at dinner tonight.”
Kaeya means to protest but Crepus is already leaving to go upstairs to his study and Kaeya is left behind even more dumbstruck than he was this morning waking up next to Diluc. The last thing he hears is Crepus telling him to take his horse from the stable to ride to the city as he might need the coach later on. Last he checked there were no horses in the stables anymore, except the ones used to draw the wine carts, but when he goes to look there are several beautiful specimens that look far nobler than the old tired nags he remembered. Most importantly his horse is there, a beautiful black and grey mare Master Crepus got for him on his fifteenth birthday, Gesa. Kaeya feels a little choked up when he approaches her pen, the mare raising her head to greet him right away. She died two summers ago from an injury Kaeya never forgave himself for letting her suffer but after having breakfast with Crepus, seeing her alive and breathing is not as bizarre as it could be. Kaeya takes a moment to catch his breath and sort his thoughts, resting his head against Gesa’s soft flank. She smells like home.
He hasn’t felt this many turbulent emotions since the night he confessed to Diluc and fought for his life, and it’s unsettling how lost he feels in the face of it. He didn’t cry on the day Crepus died so why does it hit him so hard now to see him alive and well? And how in the archon’s name is that even possible? The number of questions he has is increasing rapidly and he fears Diluc might not be able to answer them all, not if his behavior this morning is anything to go by. Leading Gesa out of the stables Kaeya mounts and sets off towards the city. Although he is desperate to find an explanation for all this he doesn’t hurry on the way, instead enjoys the time with Gesa, running his hands over her back and neck and letting her lead him down the road she knows better than him.
Upon arriving in Mondstadt Kaeya has calmed down a little from the shock of seeing Crepus alive, but in exchange his concern about the strangeness of events is growing. He’s certain that he hasn’t dreamed the last five years of his life, so how can it be that everyone around him takes things for granted that make absolutely no sense to him? His relationship with Diluc is turbulent at best and yet Diluc left him with a smile on his face this morning as if they’ve been lovers for a long time. None of the maids seemed startled by seeing their dead Master return home and even little details don’t add up, like the presence of possessions Kaeya believed lost at the Winery, or the mysterious absence of his vision.
He jumps off the horse and ties her to the hitching rail outside the gates before stepping into the city. At first glance everything looks as expected but by now Kaeya knows better than to trust that. Uncertain who to turn to with this matter he decides to follow Crepus’ advice and look for Diluc first, his steps leading him to the Angel’s Share, naturally. The tavern is empty at this time of the day, only Charles is standing behind the counter, scribbling notes on a piece of paper when Kaeya walks in.
“Charles, my man,” he starts, dropping down on one of the seats by the bar. A glass of dandelion wine would be nice right about now to take the edge off, but for once he doesn’t know if he could actually stomach it. “I’m looking for Diluc. Is he in the back?”
Charles looks at him with mild bewilderment and then shakes his head. “Master Diluc? I haven’t seen him in a while. I was not aware that he is coming here. Is there a problem?”
Kaeya stares.
“Did he.. not come here this morning? He said he’s going to work,” he explains but Charles’ expression does not lighten up in the slightest.
“Well.. have you looked for him at the Order then?”
“At the.. at the Order?”
Suddenly Charles lets out a short laugh. “Have you been drinking, Kaeya? Isn’t it a little early for that? Listen, I have a lot to do before opening tonight. I know you’re taking this week off and I’m handling it, but I don’t have time to waste.” He reaches under the counter and pulls out an envelope that he places on the counter in front of Kaeya. “Here’s the list of last week’s revenue. Please give it to your father for me?”
“I’m..” Kaeya clears his throat, looking at the envelope in his hand. Right, he’s handling the winery business with Crepus; makes sense that Charles would give him the documents. But none of that explains Diluc’s absence.
“I’m not drunk,” Kaeya says with a pout. “Just a little hungover,” he adds and Charles huffs amusedly. Pushing off his chair Kaeya shoves the envelope inside his coat pocket and heads for the door. He really needs to find someone who can make sense of all this before losing his mind. “Sorry for wasting your time,” he calls over to Charles before heading out, not looking back.
Outside the tavern he almost runs into someone who rushes past him too fast for a normal person. All he sees is a flash of darkness, like a long coat moving in the wind. He blinks and watches a man disappear behind the next building. He knows this person. He’s never seen him before.
Strange.
But quickly forgotten.
Rushing down the path from the tavern to the town square and up towards the large stairs Kaeya only slows down when someone calls his name. He stops and turns back to see Sara waving at him from behind her counter at the Good Hunter. Despite feeling a little impatient he walks over and offers her a friendly smile.
“Morning, Sara. What can I do for you?”
“Do for me? You can eat your cake!” she says, somewhat agitatedly, and shoves two plates with scrumptious looking mini cakes in Kaeya’s direction. “Try them. Both of them. I need to know which one you want or I won’t make it in time.”
Confused Kaeya looks down at the cakes. Sunsettia and nut crumble, and red wine chocolate by the look of them. “Make it in time for..?” he asks, dipping a finger into the sunsettia cake’s frosting and then licking it off with plop.
“For your wedding on Saturday? Archons, Kaeya! I don’t think you know how much work it is to make a cake for so many people, especially when-“ But Kaeya no longer hears the rest of Sara’s sentence. His head is filled with static, only broken up by the echo of Sara’s words. Your wedding on Saturday. Your wedding. Saturday.
Saturday.
Suddenly it makes sense. Kaeya turns away without a word and runs across the square, ignoring Sara’s calls behind him. He practically flies up the stairs until he reaches the Order’s HQ, breathless from exhaustion and excitement when he asks the startled guard where he’ll find Diluc. In the Grand Master’s office, the man answers and Kaeya is already half through the door by the time he finishes. He doesn’t care for the ruckus he’s making or the looks of confusion that follow him when he storms through the hall until he reaches Jean’s office and bursts open the door. Inside Diluc sits at the large desk, bent over a letter, his quill in hand. At Kaeya’s turbulent entrance he looks up, his features lighting up when he sees who it is.
“Kaeya! I wasn’t expecting you.”
“We’re getting married,” Kaeya says breathlessly, his heart hammering in his chest.
Diluc blinks, then the words register with him and he smiles warmly. “Yes.”
“We’re getting married!” Kaeya repeats more enthusiastically, walking towards the desk with a bright smile of his own spreading on his face.
“Yes. We are,” Diluc laughs. He gets up from his seat and walks around the desk, just in time to catch Kaeya who throws himself at him, arms curling around Diluc’s neck. Who cares what’s happening here, if he’s under a spell or suffering from brain damage. This is the best day of his life. He’s sure he’s never felt happier in his life, the feeling so intense it threatens to burst his heart.
“We’re getting married..” he mumbles against Diluc’s neck and Diluc’s laugh vibrates through his entire body. A gentle hand brushes through his hair and Kaeya lifts his head to press his lips against Diluc’s, passionately, excitedly, with all the overwhelming love he feels in that moment. There are fireworks in his heart and his head and he wishes this moment would never end.
Unfortunately it does; it has to. Diluc seems happy to hold him in his arms for quite a while, their kisses turning from passionate to sweet and gentle until he finally pulls away. Kaeya doesn’t want to let go, his hands curling into Diluc’s knight uniform. (Oh.)
“Kaeya, I love you and if I could make time move faster I would. But unfortunately I have a ton of paperwork left to get through until tonight,” Diluc explains. He steals a last brief kiss. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”
Kaeya doesn’t want to leave, doesn’t want to do anything other than be in Diluc’s arms for the rest of the day, trading lazy kisses and basking in the knowledge that they’ll be married in a few days, but he knows better than anyone what it means to drown in paperwork – and what it means when Diluc says I can’t right now.
“Okay,” he mumbles, making a bit of a pout but it’s not very convincing, considering he’s smiling underneath it. “See you later..”
I love you, Diluc’s voice echoes in his head when he waves at him smiling like an idiot before leaving the office and pulling the door closed behind himself.
He feels ecstatic when he steps out into the hallway, beaming with happiness - and immediately bumps into someone when he steps away from Diluc’s door.
“Ah, Jean! I’m sorry I didn’t see—“ he stops mid-sentence, the words stuck in his throat when his eyes fall on Jean. She’s wearing her usual knight uniform, all spick and span, however missing the insignia of the Acting Grand Master; but where her left arm should be there is only an empty sleeve, folded and sewn together. Her face, though smiling, is defiled by a big scar that reaches from her forehead to her chin, as if drawn by a terrible blade. The sight of her is such a shock it makes Kaeya’s blood run cold.
“Jean what.. happened to you?”
Perhaps he should get used to the look of bewilderment on people’s faces when he asks very reasonable things, but at present he is too perplexed to expect it.
“What do you mean? I just came from training.”
“Your arm!” Kaeya says and regrets it immediately when a shadow of hurt crosses Jean’s features.
“My arm? Why are you asking me this all of a sudden..?” It’s evident that his question is inappropriate on some level, but apparently it overwhelmed her because she answers anyway. “A mission gone wrong, three years ago. A treasure hoarder camp near the border.. they had explosives stored in a cave – I thought Diluc told you the story.” Kaeya shakes his head even before she finishes speaking.
“No, no, I remember that mission, I was there. I froze the barrels and we all got out—“
Jean frowns. “You weren’t there, Kaeya. You haven’t been on any missions with us since you left the Order.”
“Since I- what?”
The joy of seeing Diluc a moment ago fades rapidly and Kaeya is violently confronted with the strangeness of his current reality again. He shakes his head.
“I don’t.. understand..” he says truthfully. Jean’s features soften.
“Come on, I have an errand to run, why don’t you walk with me?”
Together they leave the HQ and head back to the town square, Jean remaining silent for the time being. Kaeya has a million questions to ask but something tells him it would be better to stay silent for now. He can’t keep himself from throwing side-glances at Jean, watching the way she holds herself and noticing a small limp in her steps. More injuries?
“Jean, I-“ he starts but he’s interrupted by an excited cheer. It’s Amber, who spotted them from across the square and now runs over to them.
“Just the man I’ve been looking for!” she announces cheerfully. “I have thought of some amazing games for Saturday! We have to play Windtrace, and some shooting, and I’ve been thinking slime ball-“
Kaeya huffs out a laugh when a few glorious memories immediately pop into his mind at the mention of the game. “Slime ball? Nice idea! Klee will love that!”
“Kaeya!” Jean says so harshly that it almost makes him flinch, the look on her face one of utter disbelief. His smile drops.
“What did I say?” Kaeya asks, confused when even Amber looks at him with a modicum of horror.
“Kaeya, you’re acting very strange today,” Jean sighs, looking her usual mix of concerned and stern. Then something else crosses her features, something Kaeya can’t put his finger on. He blinks when he feels her hand slipping into his.
“Why don’t we go visit Klee?” she asks, throwing an apologetic look at Amber, who nods.
“I’ll see you later then! With more exciting game ideas!” she calls after them while Jean gently pulls Kaeya towards the city gate.
Jean doesn’t speak as they walk past the gates and across the bridge, down the path and up a hill; not until Kaeya finally pulls his hand free and she slows her steps.
“Where are we going, Jean?” he asks feeling a little impatient. He’s had his fill of odd discoveries today and something about the way Jean’s acting is making him nervous. She takes a few more steps, then stops by a tree and turns back to him, a sad smile on her face. Kaeya looks at her then drops his gaze to the foot of the tree, and his heart stops.
There is a gravestone, small but beautiful; it’s made of stone not from around here, hewn by someone who clearly knew what they were doing into a round shape, a few ornaments decorating the words engraved on it.
Klee.
Beloved daughter, sister, friend.
Kaeya’s throat closes up. He slowly approaches the stone, reading the name again and again until it begins to blur before his eyes. “Can’t be..” he whispers, sinking to his knees into the damp grass. “It can’t be. She’s fine, I saw her yesterday-“
“Kaeya, what’s gotten into you? Klee has been gone for over a year,” Jean says, her voice strained. Her hand comes to rest on his shoulder, a warm and soothing presence, but it does little to lessen the pain in his heart. Why Klee, little innocent beautiful Klee? It’s like someone poured a bucket of ice water over his head, his thoughts and feelings frozen in shock.
“But how..?”
Jean moves to sit beside him on the grass. “She wanted to save us. We thought we were protecting her, but she was protecting us this whole time. Without her we’d still be fighting the Abyss.”
Kaeya’s throat feels dry, his mind filled with cotton.
“The Abyss? It’s gone?”
“Yes.. all of it,” Jean says, letting her gaze wander over the hills around them. “All the magic and the monsters disappeared when she destroyed the Darkness-“
“Disappeared?” Kaeya asks, something else stirring inside him, a fear he buried deep inside. “All of them?”
Jean only nods. After all the great news he got this morning perhaps it makes sense that he’s now hit with some horrible ones. Cosmic balance, or something like that.
“But that can’t be- they have to be somewhere, they-“ A movement from the corner of his eye catches Kaeya’s attention. A figure moves in the near distance. Blond hair, a strange dark coat. Kaeya is hit with a feeling of familiarity that knocks the air from his lungs. The man from outside the Angel’s Share.
“You..” he whispers and jumps back to his feet. His steps carry him towards the figure in the distance, slowly at first but growing faster quickly. The man turns away and Kaeya realizes he cannot remember his face.
“Wait!” he calls out but the man disappears in the shadows. What was the color of his hair again? By the time Kaeya reaches the spot where he stood there is no sign left of him. Confused he looks around, but there’s no one to be seen. Nor does he remember what he’s looking for in the first place.
He returns back to the city with Jean, after picking a batch of flowers by the lake and leaving them at Klee’s grave. His heart is heavy and his mind is buzzing with questions upon questions. Someone must be able to make sense of all this. So far the only explanations Kaeya has come up with on his own are time magic, brain damage or some kind of memory spell. Why else would everyone remember a completely different course of events than him? Jean leaves him when they reach the town square, apologizing and saying she still has that errand to run. Kaeya is strangely relieved to watch her go. He stops and looks at the fountain, watching the water fall into the pool at a steady pace, its nice splish-splash calming and pleasant. Hypnotizing. For a moment it looks as if the water is flowing upwards instead of downwards and Kaeya shakes his head. No, everything is as it should be. His eyes must be playing tricks on him.
He looks to the side and finds Sara staring at him. She lifts her hand and waves at him and, with a small frown, Kaeya waves back. Right, the cake..
There’s someone standing behind Sara, cloaked in darkness. Kaeya doesn’t hesitate. He rushes towards them, hissing as he watches the figure slip away from the Good Hunter and into the shadows between the buildings, faster than any human should be able to move.
“Wait! Please!” Kaeya shouts, running as fast as he can through the narrow space between the houses and back out into the open street – until he runs right into someone’s arms.
It’s Diluc.
“Whoa, where are you running off to?” he asks, his hands coming up to hold Kaeya’s shoulders. Kaeya looks up and down the street frantically but there’s no one out here besides the two of them.
“I was.. there was..” he tries to explain but even as he’s saying the thoughts are slipping from his mind. “Sara wants us to try her cakes..” he ends mechanically, frowning in confusion.
Diluc smiles. “Ah, yes, she told me. Let’s go then, before she changes her mind?” He lowers his arms and takes Kaeya’s hand, gently tugging him back towards the town square. Kaeya’s feet won’t move. Diluc throws him a surprised look.
“Is something wrong?”
Yes, Kaeya wants to say, but he doesn’t know what. He’s forgetting something, something important. Something essential. “I don’t feel like eating cake right now,” he says. Diluc stops pulling at him and moves closer again to wraps his arms around him. He’s warm and he smells wonderful and Kaeya closes his eyes, sinking into his embrace.
“We can try the cakes tomorrow then,” Diluc says.
Kaeya nods. “I’m having a very strange day,” he laments and Diluc soothingly rubs his back.
“Let’s give it a good ending then, shall we?” Diluc whispers, and Kaeya moans softly when warm lips press a kiss to his neck. He nods again, opening his eyes and blinking against the warm light of their bedroom. It smells like sweet wine and cookies and the air is filled with the soft crackling of the fireplace. Diluc is moving him towards the bed, hands roaming over his skin and tugging at his clothes, all while kissing his neck and his ear, whispering sweet nothings and a few dirty things that make Kaeya’s head spin. If only it could always be like this.
But.. wasn’t it just.. very different?
Kaeya freezes, his hands curled into Diluc’s shirt. He could have sworn they were just in the city talking about.. what were they talking about?
“How did we get here..?” he asks quietly. Diluc’s fingers run through his hair, rubbing over his scalp pleasantly. “Diluc?”
Diluc chuckles. “With the coach, silly. What else?”
No. He rode to the city on Gesa. He wouldn’t have left her behind.
With a firm push Kaeya brings some distance between himself and Diluc, his heart beating hard in his chest. His mind is hazy, trying to drift off to somewhere more comfortable, like Diluc’s arms, but he knows now. He knows he can’t let that happen. He needs to stay aware.
“What’s going on here?” he asks but Diluc looks only confused.
“What do you mean? What are you talking about, Kaeya?”
Shaking his head Kaeya walks backwards towards the door, questioning his own sanity as he watches the utter confusion in Diluc’s face. Is he going crazy? Is Diluc the one acting strange or is it him? He pulls open the door and steps through it, throwing one last look at Diluc.
“Kaeya, where are you going?”
But he doesn’t answer, just closes the door and rushes towards the stairs and down to the main floor. He doesn’t know where to go or what to do; only knows that he can’t stay here, not until he understands what’s going on here or if he is losing his mind. He almost screams when Crepus suddenly stands in his way.
“Kaeya? Where are you going at this hour?” he asks. He’s wearing his dressing gown and reading glasses - and it makes no sense at all because he’s staying at the city mansion, isn’t he?
“Out, I’m going.. get out of my way!” Kaeya says, fear starting to rise in his chest. This dream of love and life is beginning to feel a lot like a nightmare.
The night outside is cold and Kaeya instantly regrets not putting his coat back on before leaving the house. The moon is out and its light shines brightly on the road leading from the winery. It’s peaceful and beautiful, just like Kaeya remembers it from his childhood.
He gaze flies over the grape vines until it gets caught on a figure standing between the rows.
This time he won’t let him escape.
Kaeya sprints forward, chasing after the man who’s already running off again at an unfair speed. Down the grape vines and up the hill he chases him, his lungs stinging from the lack of air. He’s sweating and panting, his legs burning from exhaustion as he runs across the damp grass as fast as he can - until finally they reach the edge of the cliff. The man stops and so does Kaeya. He doesn’t turn around to face him but Kaeya feels that he is familiar like something physically palpable in the air between them. If only he would turn around.. The stranger raises an arm and points to the chasm. Kaeya follows with his gaze and gasps when he sees a large swirling portal hovering in the air, held up by invisible forces.
“What is this?” he asks and the man lowers his hand.
“That,” he says with a voice that tickles something at the back of Kaeya’s mind.
“Is the truth.”
“Kaeya? What are you doing here?”
The suddenness of a voice behind him makes Kaeya shoot around, heart hammering in his chest. It’s Diluc, standing a few steps away, a concerned look on his face.
“All by yourself..?” he continues and Kaeya remembers the man he’s been chasing. He looks over his shoulder, but expectedly he has disappeared. Only the strange flowing portal floating in the air is still there.
“What are you doing there?” he asks, turning his attention back to Diluc.
“I was worried about you so I came looking.”
“How did you know where to find me?”
Diluc smiles softly, walking a little closer. He reaches for Kaeya’s hand and despite the eerie feeling growing inside him Kaeya does not pull away. Diluc’s touch is warm and gentle, as always.
“I’ll always find you.” He tightens his hold on Kaeya’s hand and pulls him away from the chasm. “Come away from there. It’s dangerous.”
Kaeya holds his breath. “What is it?”
Diluc looks at him blankly. “What do you mean? The cliff. It’s so high, you might fall.”
Kaeya bites the inside of his cheek. Something rises in his chest, an agitation that’s been growing finally seeking an outlet. He half turns away from Diluc and raises his free arm to point at the portal.
“That! What is that, Diluc?”
Diluc’s eyes never leave Kaeya’s but the smile he wore a moment ago begins to fade. “Nothing you have to worry about, Kaeya.” Gently but determinedly he tugs at his hand, pulling him against his chest. “Why bother with it? Let’s just go home.”
A terrible mix between fear and comfort fills Kaeya as he finds himself in Diluc’s arms. Part of his mind tells him to trust, to do as he says, but he can’t shake the feeling anymore that something here is terribly wrong.
“This isn’t real, is it?” he whispers, swallowing around the lump forming in his throat. Diluc remains silent. “None of this is real. You’re not real.”
A warm hand cups his cheek and guides his gaze to meet Diluc’s. Warm, loving, familiar.
“It could be. You don’t have to go back,” Diluc says quietly, thumb stroking over Kaeya’s cheek. “You can stay here with me. We can be happy. Grow old together.”
Kaeya’s heart stings in his chest, and he closes his eyes, just to be free of seeing Diluc like this.
“But it’s all a lie..”
“It can be real; you just have to believe in it.”
“What about my friends?” Jean, Klee, Rosaria.. the people he knows exist somewhere in the real world, outside of this spell or whatever it is. Are they looking for him? Are they hurt? The air around them suddenly feels colder, but Diluc’s arms remain warm and safe.
“They’re right here.”
Kaeya opens his eyes again and gasps. Behind Diluc are all the people Kaeya thought of with his heart, Jean and the other knights, Charles, Adelinde, Crepus. It makes no sense for them to be here and yet it doesn’t frighten him, only fills him with a longing he struggles to resist.
“I wish I could stay..”
“You can. Just forget about everything else. Stay with me, Kaeya. Marry me and spend your life with me,” Diluc whispers, leaning close to press a kiss to Kaeya’s forehead.
Kaeya takes a deep breath. Then he nods. He pulls away a little, just enough to seal Diluc’s lips in a kiss.
One last sweet kiss before he shoves him away with a hand on his chest, turns to run-
-and jumps off the cliff into the portal.
Darkness swallows him; darkness and cold and a swirl of emotions, and when he comes to he is screaming. Pain, searing hot, shoots through his head and when he opens his eyes he’s staring right into a pair of terrible blue ones. A herald of the abyss, a walking nightmare up close, has its claws dug into his temple, draining his energy or his life, leaving him weakened and trembling. Kaeya struggles to push it off of him but his limbs won’t obey him, too weak to function. As he feels death creep up on him a bitter thought strikes him. He could have lived out the rest of his life in Diluc’s arms, spent every second like a lifetime, but instead he chose to die alone and miserable here. A fool until the end.
But the end does not come so quickly.
The world changes again, lights up in fire and flames and the next thing Kaeya knows is the pain ending and his tired worn body falling into a pair of gentle arms. He blinks and looks up in Diluc’s face, the expression on it grim but relieved.
“Diluc..?”
“Are you alright? Looks like we were almost too late. We tracked you here but your trail ended; I thought..” Diluc falls silent.
Kaeya allows himself a couple more seconds in his arms then he sits up, holding his aching head. “I’m alright. I’m alive.”
Diluc nods. “The others are checking the remaining chambers. Just in case there are more of.. these,” he says, nodding towards the lifeless body of the creature that was on Kaeya mere moments ago. Just when he says it it begins to disappear. “Can you walk? We shouldn’t linger.”
“Yeah, yeah, just.. give me a minute,” Kaeya says, trying to sort his thoughts. The sound of the others’ voices echo in the distance. He can hear Jean. The ground beneath him is cold. It all feels painfully real.
“Diluc?” Kaeya says after a moment. “Thank you.”
Diluc only offers an affirmative “hm”.
“You know..” Kaeya continues. He stares at the damp ground underneath his boots but his mind provides him with the image of Diluc’s smiling face back in the Grand Master’s office. “I was really looking forward to Saturday.”
Diluc remains silent, waiting for some kind of explanation. When Kaeya doesn’t provide one he says, “What’s on Saturday?” and Kaeya smiles sadly.
“Nothing.”