Chapter Text
Niall is bored. Mind-numbingly, drool on his arm, barely able to keep his eyes open, bored. He’s eyeballs deep in three textbooks at once, trying to get a jump-start on his midterms. The low light of his table lamp is starting to burn his retinas and he has to blink repeatedly to try and re-hydrate them. The door to his dorm-room flies open, smashing against the wall and startling a yelp out of him.
“Get your arse up Horan!” Louis crows, looking too proud of himself as he hurtles across the room and lands on Niall’s lap. “We’re going out tonight!”
“I can’t Tommo.” Niall groans, pushing the brunet off of his lap unceremoniously. “I have to try and figure out how we could use three-dimensional printers and stem-cells to replace corroded pulmonary arteries in time to actually be effective.”
“Nuh-uh. You’ve been blowing me off for weeks, and it’s time you get out of this room and your lab and actually remember how to have a good time.” Louis titters, picking himself up off the floor and brushing off his bum.
“It’s a Tuesday night. There aren’t even any good parties going on.” Niall points out.
“You would be amazed. I heard from Luke who heard from Michael who heard from Calum that there’s a rave over in Brixton, and you’re going to come if I have to bring you kicking and screaming over my shoulder.” Louis says, a serious look popping up on his face. It’s rare for him, but Niall knows from experience that it’s particularly dangerous when you let Louis set his mind to something. That doesn’t change Niall’s mind though. He’s willing to bear the consequences if it means he can get more work done.
“No. No way!” Niall huffs. “Last time I went to Brixton with you, someone slipped me something and I woke up two days later in Glasgow with an eyebrow half shaved off.”
“Exactly!” Louis grins. “You need a break from all of this nonsense.”
“It’s not nonsense Tommo. I’m fourth-year, and I need to focus on my studies. I’m working towards my BSc.” Niall counters. “Phase One of my project research is only half completed, and I’m at risk of not getting funding if I don’t figure it out soon.”
“You got an eight-point-two on your BMAT. You’ll be fine to go out for one night.” Louis laughs, shutting Niall’s books.
“The BMAT was years ago, and it’s an entrance exam. It has nothing to do with what I’m doing now.” Niall groans, trying to reopen the book from under Louis’ surprisingly well-muscled arm. It’s not nearly-successful. He should really find some time to get back to the gym at some point.
“One night Ni. That’s all I’m asking for. You have to get out of your room at some point and remember you’re in your early twenties. This is the time you have to really live.” Louis says, flipping another book closed. “Besides, I happen to know that Luke wants to meet you, and that he’s going to be there tonight.”
“Who’s Luke again?” Niall asks, unable to put a face to a name. Unlike Niall, Louis has an unnatural urge to socialize with nearly everyone he can possibly be near in favor of ignoring his studies (Whatever those may be.). Louis has about a million friends, and Niall can’t keep them all straight.
“Tall, blond Aussie. Lip ring.” Louis explains, flipping through his mobile for a picture. “Ultra-hot.”
Louis holds up his mobile to reveal a blurry picture of himself with several blokes, none of whom Niall actually recognizes. The only one who matches the description that Louis gave is indeed attractive, but not so attractive that Niall would risk his project falling into ruin for a taste. It hasn’t been that long. Okay it has, but that’s Niall’s business, and nobody else’s.
“Not worth it.” Niall says, shaking his head.
“Did I mention that he’s hung like a horse?” Louis asks with a cheeky wink.
“I’m definitely not taking one of your sloppy seconds.” Niall scoffs.
“Oh I haven’t slept with him. I slept over at him and Michael’s once, and he fell asleep naked. Can’t blame me for sneaking a peak.” Louis says with a shrug.
“Actually, I’m fairly sure he can.” Zayn chuckles from the doorway. “That’s pervy even for you Tommo, and I’ve seen inside your bottom drawer.”
“Gotta fix that damn lock.” Louis grumbles. “You two ready to go then Zayn?”
“Liam’s on his way. He’ll be here any minute. Now Leave Niall alone. If he wants to sit around here all night, then he can.” Zayn says with his usual level of amusement dancing in his eyes. “If he wants to forsake his heritage and remain sober and celibate, then that’s his choice.”
“I’m plenty Irish without getting smashed in a warehouse when I have to be at my lab in twelve hours.” Niall says with a scowl. “And so do you by the way.”
“And I will be.” Zayn smirks. “With some decent memories and a well fucked arse.”
“You’d better be staying at Liam’s then, because I don’t want to be woken up by you two going at it all night.” Niall grumbles, kicking at Louis’ thigh to get his arm off of the blond’s textbook. “I have things to get done.”
“You’re ahead of everyone in our class in your research. You can take a night off Nialler, and you know it.” Zayn says, dropping down on his own bed. “You should come out with us. Have a good time again.”
“I’m working Zayn.” Niall points out.
“Josh was a year ago Niall. I know that it sucks, but you have to move on sometime.” Louis says gently, rubbing a hand on Niall’s shoulder.
“This has nothing to do with that.” Niall says icily. “I have moved on. I moved on months ago.”
“You haven’t even shown interest in a guy since the drummer.” Zayn mutters. “You’re going to have a heart attack before twenty five if you keep up at this rate Nialler. You barely sleep or eat. You spend all of your time either here, in the lab, or in the library. It’s not healthy, and I can’t stand seeing you do this to yourself anymore.”
“Is he coming?” Liam asks, popping his head into the room with a bright smile. “You coming Ni? Please say you’re coming.”
“Well?” Louis asks, arching an eyebrow at Niall.
The sense of obligation is ridiculous. Denying Louis is one thing, because that’s generally in a person’s best interest. Zayn is another story though. He actually cares about Niall in a way that’s unselfish and loving. And Liam, well Liam has this face that he does that makes it impossible to let yourself disappoint him. He could probably convince Niall to rob a bank if he did that puppy look for long enough, and he’s not even interested in the bloke. It’s a crushing weight, and one Niall really doesn’t care to deal with.
“Fine, but one of you stupid assholes is keeping track of me, because I can’t end up in Scotland again. It’s really hard to get back without a wallet.” Niall sighs. “And Louis pays for me.”
“Deal.” Louis grins, tugging Niall out of the chair and slinging an arm over his shoulder. “But you’re not wearing that. Put on something that actually makes you look like the hot little twink you are, and meet us downstairs in five minutes.”
“You’re horrible.” Niall groans, pushing Louis off of him. “Five minutes. Now get out, or I’ll stay up here and jam the door closed so none of you cunts can get back in here.”
“Don’t do that.” Liam pouts. “You haven’t come out with us in forever. I can’t remember the last time I saw you get proper sloshed.”
“I can’t believe you let these two taint you like this Payno. You used to be so innocent.” Niall laughs.
“Innocence is overrated.” Zayn grins. “Gotta live while we’re young, yeah?”
“Just never let me be under your knife.” Niall says. “Who knows what you’ll have done the night before.”
“Probably something you’d have approved of a couple years ago, before you went through man-opause.” Zayn counters with a smirk. “Tommo, let’s go. Let him get dressed before he changes his mind.”
“There’s a seventy percent chance he’ll do that anyways if one of us doesn’t stay here to make sure he actually gets ready.” Louis mutters. “Payne, you watch our boy and make sure he leaves the glasses behind. He has contacts for a reason. We’ll go downstairs and ask the boy from Oz exactly where we’re going.”
“I don’t need a babysitter.” Niall huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No, but you might need someone to help you find something that isn’t a pair of scrubs or covered in stains.” Zayn chuckles. “Seriously Nialler, do your bloody laundry every once in a while.”
“If I leave it long enough, you do it for me.” Niall smirks. “Payno can stay, but only because he’s not a bloody douche like you two sods.”
“See if I do your laundry again anytime soon.” Zayn grumbles, walking out the door with Louis following close behind.
“I can just wait outside if you want.” Liam offers once the other two are out of earshot.
“No, they’re right. I just didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of hearing me say it.” Niall sighs. “I haven’t gone out in a while, and I’m not even sure I still have anything that could make me look halfway decent. I could use another pair of eyes if it’s okay.”
“Of course.” Liam beams, stepping . “I’m just glad you’re getting out of this rut. I missed the happy fun Niall who used to be around before- well, just before I guess.”
“I haven’t been that bad, have I?” Niall asks, fiddling with a loose thread on the ratty pair of joggers he’s wearing.
“It’s not like we don’t understand Ni.” Liam says gently, that horrifyingly sympathetic manner he has taking over his excitement. “What Josh did- You didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that. But eventually you have to pick yourself up and get back out there. We worry about you working so hard that you forget to enjoy your life.”
“I do enjoy my life.” Niall says, the lie sounding hollow even in his own ears. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but he’s in a transitional stage right now where everything could fall apart if he does it wrong. He works long hours in order to achieve a dream he’s had since he was young. Sometimes things fall by the wayside for that dream. He interacts less with his friends than he likes, he hasn’t had sex in a year, and he’s already developing ulcers from the sheer amount of coffee he uses to keep himself awake for eighteen hours a day.
But at the same time, the work he does, the work he’ll be able to do after another six years, it’s exhilarating. He’ll hold life and death in his hands, working day after day to save the lives of everyone he can. It’s all he wants, more than he wants to have a boyfriend again, or to get a little wild, or to stop popping antacids like they’re breath-mints. He wants to be a doctor. That’s worth not being happy for a little while.
“Let’s get you dressed, yeah?” Liam asks cautiously, reminding Niall to pull himself out of his own head. “We can steal some stuff from Zayn’s closet if we need to supplement your wardrobe.”
“I’m sure it won’t come to that.” Niall mutters, opening up his closet. His selection of actual clothes is sparse at best, overwhelmed by the scrubs or button-ups he wears at the hospital. He manages to find a t-shirt that Zayn had gotten him for Christmas last year, black with a golden skull emblazoned on it. It’s not really his style, but he has to admit that it does look good on him, just baggy enough to not show off how overly-thin he’s gotten lately, without making him look like he’s drowning in it.
It’s when he searches for jeans that he runs into a problem. Every pair he pulls out is stained beyond reason, covered in the little bits off food that fall from his grasp while he’s too deep in studying on weekends to pay attention. It’s ridiculous and disgusting, making Niall feel more like a slob than he has in years. “Fuck! Finding one pair of jeans shouldn’t be this difficult!” he groans, closing the drawer and dropping his head against the dresser.
“Zayn’s should fit you, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” Liam pipes up, holding out a pair of black jeans Niall knows all too well. They have rips on the front, looking marvelous on Zayn’s smooth dark thighs. Whether they would be even semi-attractive with Niall’s pallor is questionable. He doesn’t have much choice though, given that it’s either those or spaghetti sauce covered ones instead.
“Thanks Li.” he says with a grateful smile, taking the jeans from his friend’s outstretched hand. Liam wouldn’t anything to embarrass Niall, so the blond isn’t overly worried. If it had been Louis, then Niall would probably refuse.
He’s not sure what he’d do with Zayn, considering the mischievous streak that Louis has instilled in him. Once they had been something more than best friends, something that they hadn’t defined until the only label that they could find that was appropriate, was ‘over’. He’s been unpredictable to Niall ever since, the blond never quite knowing how to act around him. They’ve managed to hold onto their friendship, but Niall can admit to himself that it’s not quite the same as it was before. But Zayn has Liam now, and they’re perfect together, which has eased things a bit. Niall can breathe a bit easier, which is nice considering he still shares a room with Zayn.
“I’ll go meet them outside now. Just remember to change into contacts, or Louis will have my arse.” Liam smiles. “Besides, the glasses would probably get broken if they fall off. Better not to risk them, yeah?”
“Contacts. Got it.” Niall nods, matching Liam’s easy grin. “Li?”
“Yeah Ni?” Liam asks.
“You’ll look out for me tonight, right? You won’t let me do anything too stupid?” Niall asks in a whisper.
“Of course.” Liam says softly. “And if you want to come home, then I’ll bring you back here. No questions or judgment. I promise. Baby-steps are still steps, and what’s important now is that you take some to move on, not necessarily how big they are.”
“Zayn did good when he found you.” Niall says with a shy smile. “You’re a good bloke Liam Payne.”
“So are you.” Liam replies, pressing a soft peck to Niall’s cheek because he’s just an affectionate person. “Now get dressed and let’s go take some steps.”
“Alright.” Niall chuckles. Liam walks out after that, closing the door behind him so that Niall can have some privacy. He sheds his clothes quickly, changing into the outfit and checking himself out in the mirror. He can see a bit of his old self there, the lad who knew how to smile still because his heart hadn’t been broken yet. He drops his glasses on the desk, making his way to their en-suite bathroom to pop in his contacts. His vision isn’t really that bad, only slightly wrecked from the way he’s spent uncountable hours pouring over books, but he still needs them if he’s going out.
He has no excuse to linger any longer, but he takes a second to consider if this is what he really wants. There’s a hint of fear whispering in his heart, telling him that he’s not ready yet, that he should bury himself in his books and keep to what he knows. But there’s also a flutter of excitement, a readiness to thrust himself back into the real world again instead of hiding away. He decides to seize upon it, grabbing ahold of the small amount of courage he can muster and strides out the door.
There’s no turning back once he walks out of the lobby, Louis immediately latching onto his arm and steering him towards the nearest tube station. They get there just in time, barely making it into the car before the doors slide closed behind them, the train setting off towards Brixton. Zayn loosely grips Niall’s fingers, knowing the blond’s level of discomfort in tight spaces. You wouldn’t expect so many people to be on the tube this late, but there are enough to make it feel constricting.
A large swathe of the crowd leaves at the next stop and Niall breathes a sigh of relief, dropping Zayn’s hand in favor of taking a newly-empty seat. Louis drops down beside him, stretching his tightly bound legs over Niall’s to prevent anyone else from sitting down on the bench and crowding the blond. Niall drops his head against the brunet’s chest, thankful that Louis has a sweet side buried under the absolute pile of sarcasm and rudeness that constitutes most of his personality. He’d never say anything too kind of course, concerned as much with his persona as he is with having a good time, but he’ll make silent gestures to let people know he cares.
“So where are we going exactly?” Niall asks.
“We’re getting off at the Brixton tube station, and Luke is going to meet us there to take us the rest of the way.” Louis grins, waggling his eyebrows like a fool. “He’s going out of his way to do this for us.”
“Well you should be sure to thank him then.” Niall says casually, ignoring the innuendo in his friend’s voice.
“If anyone should give him ‘thanks’, then it should be you.” Louis says, combing his fingers through Niall’s fringe and pushing it away from his face. Niall hadn’t really had time to do anything with his hair before he left, so he’s actually a little grateful that Louis is there to help him out with that. He’s not grateful though for the way Louis says ‘thanks’, as if he means so much more. Niall may be ready to go out for a few drinks and a little fun, but he’s not letting Louis set him up. Boys are off-limits tonight though, and Louis should know better.
“Not going to happen.” he snorts, grinding the heel of his hand against Louis’ carefully styled fringe. “Now stop it, or every time you go up to a guy tonight I’ll let drop how you got so drunk that you frotted against a tree and it scratched up your dick.”
“I’m not doing anything.” Louis huffs,trying to press his hair back up into place. “But if you don’t get laid soon, then you might as well just take a vow of celibacy and join some monks in the mountains somewhere.”
“Just because some of us don’t feel like doing serial one night stands until we can’t sit down in our classes-” Niall scoffs. “That doesn’t mean something is wrong with me.”
“Luke’s not a one night stand kind of guy Niall.” Louis huffs out. “I know you better than that.”
“I’m not interested Tommo.” Niall mumbles. “I’m just not ready yet.”
“You were with him for six months. You’ve been single for twice that. Eventually you’re going to have to at least try dating again Niall.” Louis says softly, keeping the conversation quiet so that Zayn and Liam don’t overhear and interject.
“And you thought a good first date would be meeting up with some guy at a party in a warehouse somewhere?” Niall asks incredulously.
“No, I just want you to give him a chance. If you like him, then go out for coffee or something. If you don’t, then that’s that. I’m not trying to pressure you here Niall. I’m just trying to help you out. Luke is as sweet as chocolate, and twice as delicious. He’s also smart, funny, and did I mention he’s hung?” Louis asks.
“Yes. You did.” Niall sighs. “I’ll give him a chance, but you have to promise that even if I choose not to do anything with him, you’ll lay off, alright?”
“That’s the plan.” Louis smiles. “But you have to give him a real chance, not just pretend. He’s my friend too, and he deserves better than you giving him five minutes to try and capture your attention. I want a real showing out there tonight Niall. Flirting and everything.”
“I don’t flirt.” Niall grumbles.
“I seem to remember different, back when you were with a certain demi-god who shall remain nameless.” Louis grins, darting his eyes over to Zayn pointedly.
“That was you. You flirted with him. Often and without any hint of shame.” Niall points out.
“Well you must have been doing something right, because he never took the bait. Not even a little.” Louis whines.
“So sorry.” Niall says, rolling his eyes. Really, his friendships are so strange. Who else would spend this much time with these three, considering their troubled past? But Niall doesn’t really have anyone else, not without Josh. And regardless of the things that have transpired between the four of them, these boys were there for him in his darkest times. He can forgive Louis’ advances towards Zayn in the face of that. Especially given that it was nearly three years ago. It never bothered him much anyways, which probably should have told him that they weren’t working out long before he realized it.
“Well you should be. You and Liam both, for keeping something so pretty to yourselves. It’s not fair to the rest of the world.” Louis chuckles.
“Not everyone wants to fuck you mate.” Niall counters. “You might not have gotten him even if he wasn’t attached.”
“Well I never stood a chance. Not when he was so obsessed with you.” Louis laments, turning to Niall with a pout.
“Can we stop talking about the past Tommo?” Niall asks weakly. He has no love for rehashing this over and over again.
“The past. Sure.” Louis mutters. “Let’s just focus on getting you through tonight then, yeah?”
“That would be ideal.” Niall agrees.
“Then don’t take anything that anyone besides me, Zayn, or Liam brings to you. Don’t think that just because you’re Irish that you can drink endlessly and still make good choices. And don’t wander off where we can’t find you, or leave without one of us.” Louis says, stroking Niall’s cheek with his knuckles. “I don’t want anything bad happening to you and sending you back to your dark place. I don’t handle guilt well.”
“And people think you’re a dick.” Niall chuckles.
“Who? I want names!” Louis laughs.
“Pretty much anyone who’s ever met you at some point or another.” Niall teases, running his fingers over the back of Louis’ neck.
“Well then I’ll have to have words with ‘Pretty much everyone I’ve ever met’.” Louis grins. “Yell at them until they say I’m nice.”
“Sounds counter-intuitive there Tommo.” Niall giggles. “But nobody has ever accused you of good planning skills before, have they?”
“Only because you all pretend I’m not brilliant.” Louis huffs. “My plans would work if you’d all just give them time and help out a little.”
“Last time I helped with one of your plans, you lied to me and threw the shaving-cream filled water-balloons at Liam.” Niall points out. That had not ended well. Zayn had reacted by throwing all of Niall’s underwear out the window in the middle of a snowstorm the next day, soaked in water so that they all froze in one large lump. It wasn’t even his idea, but Louis had escaped unscathed (as he usually does) and claimed the prank a success.
“Well it would have taken too long for me to do it if you hadn’t helped me fill them up, so I had to fib.” Louis giggles. “And you know it was funny. He looked like a big cloud, and he wasn’t even upset.”
“Zayn was though.” Niall sighs. “I had to stay with Josh for a full week before he calmed down. And it cost me a hundred quid to replace my pants.”
“Which was sorely needed.” Louis says with a shit-eating grin. “You used to have such boring underwear.”
“Shut up.” Niall laughs, pushing at Louis shoulder. “I had no complaints from anyone about them. Neither Josh or Zayn ever seemed to mind.”
“Mind what?” Liam asks, popping his head up between Niall and Louis.
“Ni’s ill-fitting panties.” Louis laughs.
“I never wore panties!” Niall groans, pinching Louis’ thigh through his jeans.
“Well that’s not strictly true, now is it?” Zayn smirks.
“You fucking swore!” Niall growls. “And if you’ll recall, that was only because you asked me to for your birthday.”
“Oh! My! God!” Louis cackles. “Zaynie, I will pay you for any photographic evidence you have of that.”
“Got rid of all those forever ago. Sorry Tommo.” Zayn chuckles.
“Liam, take me home.” Niall scowls. “And then run away with me, because your boyfriend is an utter shit.”
“Sorry Ni.” Liam says with a crinkly-eyed smile. “He may indeed be a shit, but I love him. I will take you home though, if that’s what you really want.”
“Nah, I’d rather make Louis go broke.” Niall huffs. “And I’m keeping these jeans.”
“So pushy tonight. Hopefully Luke likes being dominated.” Louis laughs.
“You’d just better hope he’s interesting enough to make me forget what horrible friends I have.” Niall grumbles. “Hopefully he’s worth my time and I can abandon you assholes for better things.”
“Hey.” Liam whines.
“Except you Li. You can have the new mobile number I get to avoid these two trying to talk to me.” Niall grins, giving Liam an affectionate pat on the cheek.
“Well that’s fine then.” Liam beams.
“Prat.” Louis giggles, flicking Niall on the earlobe. They know he’s joking. He wouldn’t abandon these boys for the world. He’ll be stuck with them when he’s old and gray, fighting Louis with his wheelchair and throwing things at Liam and Zayn to get them to stop being sickeningly cute together.
“Our stop is next.” Zayn says, squeezing Niall’s shoulder gently in the closest thing he’d ever give to a public apology. Tomorrow morning he’ll bring Niall a coffee in the lab, press a kiss into his fringe, and all will be forgiven. Niall can hardly hold a grudge against anyone, Zayn in particular, for long.
Louis hops off Niall’s lap, running over to the door so that he can be the first off the train. Zayn follows close behind, ready to let go for a night of fun. Liam stays with Niall though, his hand warm and comforting on the back of Niall’s neck. “Just say the word, and I’ll take you home.” he whispers to Niall. “I’ll even stay with you if you want. Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with just to please them.”
“I love them, but I wouldn’t do that Li.” Niall says quietly. “Thanks though, for being a real friend. I know that we haven’t always-”
“The past is the past Niall.” Liam smiles. “I was jealous, and you were just trying to protect him. I’m actually thankful for it now, because he deserved to have someone on his side. We’ve both apologized enough for the stupidity we showed back then. You’re my friend now, and that’s what matters to me.”
“Me too.” Niall says, pressing a kiss to the inside of Liam’s wrist. They’re all overly affectionate with one another, a strangely incestuous band of brothers that draw stares whenever they’re together. Niall likes it though, because affection shouldn’t be held back just because other people don’t approve. They all love each other, so a peck here and there is nothing to be ashamed of. It only really means something romantic between Liam and Zayn.
“Can I ask you something then?” Liam asks quietly. Niall nods and the larger man continues. “Give it a real try with this bloke. It’s easier on Zee when you have somebody. He doesn’t worry about you so much when you do. He loves you, and he wants you to be happy.”
“Oh not you too.” Niall groans, dropping his head back. “Why does everyone keep insisting I date this guy?”
“It doesn’t have to be him. Just somebody. For the sake of my relationship, I am begging you to find someone so you stop occupying my boyfriend’s mind more than I do.” Liam says softly. “I love him so much Niall. I can’t take this too much longer though. For a year we’ve barely made it through a conversation without you coming up. I want him back Niall. Please let me have him back.”
“I’m sorry.” Niall whispers, flooded with guilt at something he’d never meant to happen. “I never- I’ll try. I promise. Whatever it takes. I don’t want to get in between you two. I swear, I didn’t-”
“I know. It’s not your fault Ni. We both want you to be happy.” Liam tells him, pressing a kiss against Niall’s forehead. “I’m sorry for putting that on you. I didn’t mean to let that slip out.”
“You should have told me sooner.” Niall mumbles. “I’d have tried to do something. You two belong together, and if I was getting in the way of that, then you could have said something.”
“I didn’t want to push you, or make you feel obligated to do something before you were actually ready. It’s not on you to fix the problems in our relationship. It’s not you who’s causing them either. It’s my own insecurities.” Liam sighs. “Take as long as you need to find someone you really care about. Don’t worry about us. I’m an ass for saying any of that.”
“Alright.” Niall says, swallowing around a lump in his throat. He’s not sure he is ready, not really, but now that he knows this he can’t let his doubts hold him back anymore. Liam and Zayn mean the world to him, and he doesn’t want anything to come between them ever again, let alone himself.
The train slows to a stop, and Niall stands up to follow behind Liam as they shuffle out. Niall takes a moment in silence to steady himself when they step onto the platform, but it’s ended prematurely when Louis links their fingers and tugs him out of the tube station and out into the crisp night air. He looks around for a minute, and then his face splits into a wide grin. “Luke!” he laughs, dragging Niall along behind him as he moves towards the man who’d drawn his attention.
The bloke turns around and Niall nearly swallows his tongue. The picture hadn’t done him justice in the slightest. He’s just about the hottest guy Niall has ever seen in person, tall with bright pink lips and his hair styled up in a quiff. Everything about him is sharp, his jawline, the cut of his smile, his well defined chest (revealed by the tattered vest he’s wearing), but not intimidatingly so. There’s also a softness there under the punk exterior that shines through quite clearly. Louis did well with this one.
“Luke, these are Zayn, Liam, and of course, Niall.” Louis beams. “Niall, this is Luke.”
“I um- Hi.” Niall stutters, blushing furiously because he has no idea what Louis has told Luke about him.
“It’s nice to finally put a face to a name.” Luke smiles, holding a hand out that Niall tries not to take too eagerly. “Louis mentions you a lot. I have to admit, I’ve wanted to meet you for a while. If even half of what he’s told me is true, then you’re quite the bloke.”
“Well it’s Louis, so, grain of salt and all that.” Niall mumbles.
“Don’t be a shit.” Louis growls, pinching the inside of Niall’s arm. “I’ve only told him the truth about you. Don’t need to embellish for my favorite Leprechaun.”
“The party is this way.” Luke laughs, nodding his head towards the other side of the street.
“Perfect.” Louis grins, pushing Niall forward with a deceptively strong hand at the small of the blond’s back. “You two talk. I have things to discuss with the lovebirds snogging against the wall over there.”
Niall glances back and groans. Liam and Zayn have never really been all that private, often giving Niall only seconds to flee the room before clothes start flying off. This is ridiculous though. Zayn has Liam pinned to the wall, hands over his head like they’re about to shag right then and there. Louis wanders over, groping Zayn’s bum and then ducking with practiced agility when the Bradford lad swings a fist around and snarls. Niall rolls his eyes and turns back to Luke to find amusement written all over his face.
“Sorry about that.” Niall sighs.
“Don’t be. It’s sweet.” Luke says with a smile. “Everyone should be so lucky to find someone they’re that comfortable with.”
Niall smiles at that too, because he’s right. Niall misses that, the reckless abandonment of sense in the face of love. He had that once, with Josh. Maybe Luke can help him find it again. It’s a wonderful thing when there’s someone to help take the weight of the world off of your shoulders, to help relieve stress with just the touch of your hands or the press of your lips. Josh had been good at that, a gentle touch here or there to remind Niall that he wasn’t alone.
“You ready to go?” Luke asks, drawing Niall’s attention back to the current moment instead of the memories of the past threatening to overwhelm him.
“Lead the way.” Niall nods, grateful that Luke seems unphased by what was probably an overly long gap in the conversation.
Luke grins and then takes a step out into the empty street. Brixton is mostly residential and retail, so the streets are nearly abandoned as they walk through them. “Louis tells me you’re studying at the Imperial College School of Medicine to be a doctor.” Luke says once they’ve pulled ahead of the other lads a bit. “Top of your year too.”
“I am.” Niall beams, not afraid to be proud of his accomplishments.
“That’s so badass.” Luke laughs. “I feel so unaccomplished.”
“What are you studying?” Niall questions.
“Nothing.” Luke admits. “I’m a musician. I play guitar and sing. Like you, if Louis’ telling the truth about that.”
“I used to. It’s been a while since I picked up my guitar instead of a practice scalpel or a book.” Niall shrugs.
“I’d like to hear you play sometime. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two.” Luke grins.
“Doubtful.” Niall sighs. “My head is packed full of medical stuff now.”
“Your fingers never forget the strings.” Luke tells him, holding his own hands up in silent display. “It’s like riding a bike or kissing someone. Once you try, you remember just how to do it.”
“Well then maybe there’s hope for me after all.” Niall says, hiding a shy smile by pretending to check for traffic, even though it’s obvious there won’t be any. He’s used to bluntness and slight flirtation from being around Louis for so long, but when his friend does it it’s meaningless. There’s no actual sexual attraction between him and Louis. Luke is a different matter though, because it’s quite clear by his closeness and wandering eyes that he’s at least somewhat interested.
“I’d say there’s plenty of hope for a bloke like you.” Luke chuckles. “A hot doctor who can sing and play guitar. One would be smart to snap you up before you realize what a catch you are.”
“I’m not a doctor yet. I still have another six years of school before that.” Niall mumbles. “One would be signing up for a long wait before I was an actual catch.”
“One might not mind that.” Luke hums. “One might even be willing to look past the teasing of one just because one was trying to sound smarter than one actually is.”
“One has no reason to put on airs. I’m not interested in one if one has to pretend to be something one is not just to try and impress me.” Niall says with a grin. “I’d rather get to know one for who one is without any heightened expectations on either of us.”
“One would like that.” Luke laughs. “I mean, I would like that.”
“I didn’t mean to tease by the way.” Niall tell him. “It’s been a while since I’ve been around someone who didn’t know me. I’m not used to talking to new people anymore. I can be a bit blunt sometimes without meaning to.”
“I like bluntness. It means you won’t hide what you’re thinking.” Luke says with a slight smile. “I’ve seen a lot more people drift apart over what wasn’t said than what was.”
Niall can hear the music now, rolling out in waves that tremble through his bones as each step they take brings them closer to the party. He’s not sure how he’ll fare once they’re inside, pressed into a crowd of sweaty writhing bodies under flashing lights with the bass slowly pulverizing his cartilage. It’s not like he’s never been to one of these before, he has, but he’d always had a few drinks first before to take the edge off. It’s easier in these places once the warmth of alcohol is already washing through your veins. But at least once he’s inside he won’t have to deal with these little comments that indicate that Luke is already ready to pursue something even though they’ve only met a few moments before. He seems to be moving at warp speed to the Irish lad, and it’s not something he’s quite sure he can handle without a drink or two to slow things down.
“I know what you mean.” Niall says, letting his eyes wander over the abandoned streets instead of at the Aussie whose eyes he can feel still on his face. “But too much honesty can be just as damning. Sometimes it’s best to accept a little secrecy in something in order to preserve it. Human beings aren’t naturally inclined to be selfless, and so most have trouble looking past the little things in favor of the big ones. Any excuse to flee, and nine out of ten people will take it. It’s the way they’re built.”
“I thought you were focusing on surgery, not psychology.” Luke chuckles.
“We still have to do modules on other specializations, in case we find that we actually have an aptitude for something else or we just enjoy it more. I just finished up a module on neuroscience and mental health not that long ago.” Niall explains. “It sticks with you for a while. Makes you see things different.”
“Is that why you finally agreed to come out and meet me?” Luke asks.
“What do you mean?” Niall asks, stopping in his tracks.
“I’ve been asking Louis for a while to bring you to meet up with, but he always made some lame excuse for you whenever you didn’t show up. I was starting to think you just really didn’t want to meet me.” Luke admits sheepishly.
“I’d never heard of you until tonight.” Niall sighs. “I mean- Maybe in passing in one or two of Louis’ stories, but never anything about me coming out and meeting you.”
“Oh.” Luke says quietly. “Oh, I see.”
“Luke, don’t be be mad at him please. Louis looks out for me like a big brother, and until tonight I wasn’t ready to come out for any reason. I haven’t been to a party, or even had a drink in a year. I definitely wasn’t ready to meet any guys, so it might actually be a good thing for us both. I wouldn’t have given you a fair chance, and you’d have ended up thinking I was a bitch.” Niall tells him. “I wasn’t even going to come out tonight either, because I’m still kind of a mess, but I did, and Louis has been saying nothing but very flattering things about you the whole time. He just knew not to push me until I could handle it. So please don’t hold it against him, or let it ruin our night.”
“Nah mate. I get that. He’s just looking out for a friend, and I can appreciate that.” Luke says with a kind smile. “I’m not so happy that he lied to me about it, but I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same for someone I cared about, and he cares about you a lot. I actually thought he liked you for a while until he said that you and I should go out sometime.”
“Yeah, no. People make that mistake a lot, but we’re just friends. We tried going on a date once, when we first met, but that was a disaster of epic proportions.” Niall laughs, remembering that night four years ago with horrifying clarity. “He’s a little high maintenance for me, and I’m not hot enough for him.”
“Now that’s a lie.” Luke says with a slight blush. “Not the high maintenance part. That’s the absolute truth. The part about you not being hot though, that’s so far from the truth. He told me you were cute, but I didn’t realize just how much of an understatement that was until you came out of the tube station.”
“You should see me when I’m in scrubs and a lab coat, when I haven’t eaten in two days or had time for a shower, and see if you still think so.” Niall mutters, taking a step to restart their journey. Zayn cleared his throat from where Louis is keeping the three of them back, reminding him that it isn’t just him and Luke going to this thing. Zayn isn’t a particularly patient man, and Niall knows from experience that it’s not a good idea to piss him off. That’s an excellent way to have all of your underwear ruined.
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.” Luke laughs, easily keeping pace with Niall’s nervous strides because his legs are so much longer. “And maybe if you have something to help distract you from the lab a bit, you’ll get into a bit of a better schedule.”
“My work is the most important thing in my life right now. I can’t just change that.” Niall admits. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m in one of the most competitive medical undergrad programs in the world, and staying top of my class gives me an edge for finding a surgical residency. I have to stay on top of things, so I hope you aren’t looking for someone that wants to dedicate all their time to you. Or you can, but that’s not going to be me.”
“Wow, that is blunt.” Luke says with a nervous chuckle. “Let me start off by saying that I’m not looking for a groupie. I like that you’re serious about your career. It’s rare to find a guy our age who’s that passionate about something and has their shit together.”
“Nobody has accused me of that in a long time.” Niall says dryly. “I hardly have my shit together. I have a goal that I’m working towards as hard as I can, but I’m also kind of a train-wreck. I don’t do so well with interpersonal relationships.”
“Louis told me what happened with your ex.” Luke says quietly. “It’s alright not to be okay after something like that.”
“I’m going to kill him.” Niall growls. That wasn’t Louis’ story to tell. It’s not anybody’s story to tell but Niall’s, and he doesn’t want to relive that night any more than necessary.
“Don’t be mad. I asked him to tell me about you.” Luke says shyly. “He’d had a few drinks and let it slip out. He was really upset with himself afterwards.”
“I’m going to put him in a rehab clinic one of these days.” Niall sighs. “He always lets something slip when he drinks. It’s not really fair though, because I only know a couple things about you.”
“Well what’s he told you?” Luke asks. “I can go from there.”
“Well most of it’s kind of obvious.” Niall shrugs. “Tall, blond, Aussie. He said you were sweet. And that you live with a friend of yours named Michael. And um- something else.”
“What’s that?” Luke asks.
“He said you were hung like a horse.” Niall mumbles, a blush painting itself across his cheeks.
“Oh my god.” Luke groans. “Okay, I’ll help you kill him.”
“Wait until after he pays for all my shit tonight.” Niall laughs. “I didn’t bring my wallet.”
“I um- I thought maybe I could pay for you.” Luke says with a blush that puts Niall’s to shame.
“Not tonight.” Niall says, shaking his head. “Him paying was a condition of me coming out tonight, and I still owe him payback for some things he said on the ride here. He’s going to be in the red tomorrow if I can help it.”
“I like that idea.” Luke giggles. “Seems like a fair enough punishment.”
“And I may or may not have a stripper-telegram show up in his morning class tomorrow.” Niall adds. Louis did it to him once during a presentation and he’s never forgotten how mortified he was. “Just for good measure.”
“Oh, now that’s just pure evil.” Luke grins. “I like that even more. We’re just about there. It’s right up here on the left.”
By the time Niall downs his third beer he’s starting to remember how good it feels to let loose. The crowd is a bit sparser than you’d expect from the way the music is tearing through the quiet city streets, but that just means that there’s space to stand back and take a breath if you need one. He hadn’t jumped right into things, preferring to stay back and have a drink before he threw himself into the mass of writhing bodies in the center of the room. He also hadn’t waited too long, because it’s poor form to keep someone back from a good time, and Luke had insisted on staying with him to talk more. Not that they can really hear each other over the cacophony.
He watches Luke gulp down the rest of his drink too, a droplet slipping past his lips that a twitch from Niall’s dick deeply approves of. He wants to lick it off, see just how Luke tastes with the light sheen of sweat and alcohol beading on his skin. Before he can act on the idea though, a familiar touch wraps around his wrist. He knows who it is without looking, and leans back into Zayn’s chest. The leather of his jacket, somehow still cool in the heated warehouse, feels good against Niall’s skin.
“Hey Babe!” he shouts over the noise.
“Hey yourself.” Zayn grins into the flesh of Niall’s neck. He leans over to Luke who doesn’t seem to mind the closeness between Niall and the darker lad and shouts “Mind if I steal him for a song?”
“Not if you leave yours behind for me to dance with.” Luke responds, nodding his head towards Liam. “I’ll get bored otherwise, and Louis disappeared after he bought Niall’s drink.”
“That’s fine.” Zayn laughs, waving Liam over. “Keep him distracted for me, will you? I need to talk to Nialler.”
“Course Babe.” Liam smiles. “You two have fun.”
“You too.” Zayn says, pulling Liam in for a quick kiss before dragging Niall onto the floor. He positions them across from the speakers so that they can talk while they dance. It’s easy and familiar, something they’ve done countless times before. Niall’s arms sling around Zayn’s neck while the darker man’s hands plant themselves on the blond’s hips.
“Is that for me, or for Luke?” Zayn asks, grinding his hip into Niall’s erection.
“Been there all night.” Niall admits with a laugh. “Can’t seem to get rid of it. Doesn’t help that sexy blokes keep dancing on me like this.”
“You’re not looking too bad yourself tonight Nialler.” Zayn mutters in his ear. “It’s good to see you smile and laugh again, and those jeans look good on you too. Do you like him?”
“I don’t know.” Niall admits, chewing on his bottom lip. “I feel like I should, but I haven’t really been feeling that spark that I did with you and Josh. He’s nice, and so fucking hot, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere.”
“Don’t force it.” Zayn tells him, pressing a soft peck to Niall’s cheek. “Wait until you find something that’s right for you. Nobody expects you to find something right out of the gate.”
“I don’t want you to keep worrying about me anymore.” Niall mutters. “I’ll be alright.”
“I’m always going to worry about you Nialler.” Zayn says softly. “After what happened with us, and then with Josh, you need someone to be in your corner.”
“So does Liam.” Niall says, wincing as soon as the words are out of his mouth.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Zayn asks.
“I’m just afraid you spend too much time dealing with me and my problems. He deserves that attention more than I do.” Niall says, carefully choosing his words so as not to give away what Liam had told him. “I love you Zee. I always will, but what happened between us was so long ago. It’s time for both of us to let go of that. Liam deserves better than me stealing your attention away from him, and I’m sorry about that, for him and for you.”
“You’re my best friend Nialler. I can’t help it if I want to see you happy.” Zayn mumbles, his eyes growing soft and vulnerable in the way they always used to be when he and Niall were together.
“I know.” Niall breathes out. “Maybe- Maybe it’s time you move in with Liam though.”
“You want me to move out?” Zayn asks, his lip trembling as he does.
“No, but I think it’s for the best if we spend a little more time apart. It’s not normal to live with your ex like this. Liam would never say it, but I think it hurts him that we’re still this close.” Niall tells him, biting back the fear in his throat to keep his voice steady. “You two are so good together, and I don’t want anything to come between that Zee. I love you too much for that. I couldn’t live with it if I was a problem for the two of you.”
“I’ll be out by the end of the week.” Zayn says quietly, dropping his hands from Niall’s side and taking a step back. “I’m going to go tell Liam now.”
“Zayn-” Niall starts, but his friend disappears into the crowd before he can catch him. He feels like crying, like coming out tonight was a massive mistake that he’s never going to make up for. He needs a second to breathe, and stumbles towards the exit. The air outside is much cooler in contrast to the heat generated by the bodies inside. His lungs feel like they don’t fill properly and he sinks down against the brick wall to try and calm himself.
“You alright mate?” a voice asks after a few minutes, slow and thick like honey to Niall’s ears.
“I’m fine.” he mutters, rubbing his hands over his eyes because his contacts are irritating them. “It’s just too much in there right now.”
“I know what you mean.” the bloke says, taking a seat next to Niall on the ground. “I’m not a huge fan of these things either, but it comes with the territory.”
“What do you do? Deejay?” Niall asks, trying to take his mind off of things inside.
“You could say I’m more of a sponsor actually.” the guy laughs, drawing Niall’s attention to his face for the first time. He’s hot, like really, really fucking hot. He has long hair, swept out of his face on the left side and tucked behind his ear. It’s somehow meticulous and messy at the same time, like he spends hours trying to make it look like he’s done nothing at all. His lips are a long stretch of pink, drawn into a wide smile that makes Niall’s heart flutter in his chest. All thoughts of Luke and Zayn are driven out of his head by the stranger. “I provide the money up front, and make a profit off the sales and entrance fees as well as some other things.”
“Lucrative.” Niall chuckles.
“People always want a good time, and I’m just filling that need.” the stranger grins. “You can make good money if you know how. So what’s wrong?”
“What makes you think something is wrong?” Niall asks.
The man reaches forward, brushing a thumb over Niall’s cheek and says “You’re crying. Pretty bloke like you shouldn’t cry. Seems a shame for someone so beautiful to shed a tear, let alone so many.”
“I didn’t even notice.” Niall admits, shivering at the warm touch of the hand still touching his face. “Things got a little out of hand in there.”
“With the tall lad, or with the one in the leather jacket?” the stranger asks. “I’m not a stalker, I swear. You’re just hard not to notice.”
“The one in the jacket.” Niall sighs. “He’s my best mate, and I just kicked him out of our dorm room.”
“Heavy for a party.” the man chuckles. “Doesn’t seem like something you do to a best mate.”
“It’s for his own good.” Niall mutters. “I’m holding him back. There are special circumstances.”
“So either you used to be together, or you both want to but haven’t yet.” the man hums, looking into Niall’s eyes to search for an answer.
“Most people would know that’s none of their business.” Niall scoffs, turning his face so that the fingers fall from his cheek.
“I’m not most people. The proper order of things is often a mystery to me.” he grins.
“Lewis Carroll.” Niall laughs. “God it’s been a while since I read for fun.”
“You just got so much more interesting.” the man giggles. “Nobody ever appreciates the quotes.”
“That’s because the Cheshire Cat has been stolen as a symbol of teenagers who want to prove they’re different.” Niall says with a soft smile. “They always forget all of his best lines in favor of the few slogans that fit well on t-shirts.”
“Who are you?” the stranger asks, his eyes glinting curiously in the low light.
“Who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” Niall quotes with a grin. For the first time tonight he actually feels like he’s in control of something, even if it’s just a conversation with an attractive stranger he’ll never see again. Outside of the lab he rarely feels this anymore, this excitement fluttering in his chest and driving his pulse up. He hasn’t felt it with another person since- well, since Josh really. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I really would.” he says, pressing forward into Niall’s space just a bit more. “I like a man who can quote Carroll back to me.”
“I hate to disappoint, but a man must have his secrets.” Niall hums, not bothered in the slightest by the intrusion.
“One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others.” the stranger quips. “Do this for me. Tell me your name.”
“And what would you do for me in return?” Niall asks.
“You’ll have to tell me to find out.” the lad grins in response.
“I’m Niall.” he answers.
“Niall.” the man whispers, rolling the word around on his tongue with a finesse that sends shivers down the blond’s spine. “Niall. I like that. It means passionate, or vehement. I think it probably fits.”
Niall starts to say something, but it’s cut off by the press of the stranger’s lips against his own. He gives in easily to the softness of it, drawn into the man’s hypnotic embrace with a moan he only half regrets. It ignites something in him, a flame he had feared long extinguished. His tongue begs entrance at Niall’s lips, and the blond lets him in without hesitation, reveling in the fire that shoots through his veins from the taste of the man. It’s over too soon, the stranger drawing back and hopping up to his feet in one swift motion. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you Niall. I sincerely hope that this isn’t the only time, but I leave that up to the fates. They’ve yet to steer me wrong.” he says, walking off into the night without even a glance over his shoulder back at the slack-jawed blond staring after him.