Archive of Our Own

Harry has never been so fucking horny in all his life. Touring leaves little time to do much of anything these days. He’s lucky if he can even hit the bed and sleep for a minute before he’s back up and going again; new place, new show. So to say he’s been neglecting quality time with his hand is an understatement. If you thought randy hand jobs were hard to pencil in, sex with Louis was like trying to have tea with the Queen. 

It’s come to a point where Harry’s in a constant state of being hard. No matter how many grandmas he thinks about, or wounded kittens, nothing could will away his hard on. It’s a little disturbing at times. And Louis’ no help; he’s constantly glancing across the stage at every show, biting his lip and giving Harry a knowing smile with ‘fuck me’ eyes, making Harry want to drop to his knees and beg him to fuck him into the next century in front of everyone. But he’s sure a lot of people would not appreciate that. 

By now, Harry is pretty much willing to tell management to go blow it out their arse, or fake sick so he can stay behind at the hotel for a show so he can just spend the time with his hand around his cock until he passes out. He’s getting pretty desperate. 

“Please Lou.” Harry whines. Louis eyes him suspiciously as he tugs the grey tee shirt down his chest. He raises an eyebrow in warning. Harry flushes, pants out a soft breath from where he’s lying on the bed.

“You’re going to beg now? Right before a show? You must be really desperate, H.” He snorts. Harry pouts at him. 

“Lou please, it’s been so long, I can’t even go anywhere without fucking tucking.” He frowns down at his ever present erection tenting in his boxers and then back at Louis. Louis grins and rolls his eyes at Harry, puts the towel from his hair down on the other hotel bed. He steps near Harry and Harry spreads his legs, enticing and inviting.

“You’re so desperate.” Louis says as he sinks to his knees. He eyes Harry under long fluttery eyelashes. Harry bites his lip and doesn’t say a word. His eyes are wide and full blown. “Bet you’d let anyone do this, you’re that horny.” Harry groans when Louis peels back Harry’s boxers and watches his cock hit his tummy. Louis grins.

“Gotta be quick, H. No time to play.” Harry doesn’t get a chance to reply. 

Louis leans in and takes Harry down in one swift bob. Harry groans and tangles his finger in Louis’ still damp hair, clinging to it until Louis shakes them out, sucking hard on him and bearing some teeth on the pull up. Harry’s legs quiver. Louis puts them over his shoulders. Harry’s legs immediately start closing around Louis’ head, his hand fisting the sheets.

“God.” He pants out. He can feel it burning in his belly and he’s embarrassed that it’s going to happen so fast. His legs are trembling and he’s about to cum-

“Lou, Haz, we gotta go. I don’t know what you’re doing in there but we’ve really got to go.” Louis immediately pulls off at the sound of Zayn’s voice outside the door. He wipes at his mouth and Harry actually curls in on himself and starts crying on the bed. He knows why Louis is smiling at him. He’s not going let him finish. 

“Lou, Lou please I can’t- this- I was so close please, please I’m begging you-“ Louis grabs Harry’s chin and makes him look at him. His stern look makes Harry’s shaky breath still.

“Enough. We don’t have time for crying, and we don't have time to finish. I’m sorry, babe.” Louis brushes away Harry’s tears and he stands up. He goes and grab his snapback and when he comes back Harry is still pouting on the bed. His face is flushed and he’s sniffling. Louis brushes his hand across Harry’s dried cheek.

“Come on babe, put on your jeans. And a shirt.” Louis says softly and Harry whines but stands and places a hand over his boxers. 

He sighs. He grabs his jeans and sets them on the bed reaching into his boxers and tucking his cock back with a whimper. Tucking to the side would result in his jeans showing his erection that was definitely not going anywhere. He then pulls up his jeans and throws on a white t-shirt, and he rests his hot face against the cool hotel wall and lets out a long breath. Then he puts on his boots. He’ll find socks when he gets there. 

“Come.” Louis says with a coaxing tone, placing his hand in the small of Harry’s back to lead him out the door. Harry pouts and puts his big black fedora on his head. “I wanted to.” He whines and gasps when Louis pinches the skin on his hip. They’re in the hallway now and Harry sighs.

“Quiet, or you won't have that issue fixed later. Honestly Haz, I don’t understand why you haven’t just wanked.” Harry frowns at him.

“I wanted to wait until the next time we played.” He said to Louis, and Louis smiles at him.

“That could be months from now.” Louis tells him. Harry freezes, but is pushed forward by the ever present hand on his back as they enter the lift. 

“You said that tour wouldn’t stop us. We have… we have the bag with us.” Harry defends and Louis tuts, brushing a stray curl back under Harry’s hat. Harry leans into Louis’ touch when he caresses his cheek. 

“I did say that. We’ll see.” Louis says in a tone that makes Harry smile. He’s teasing.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Harry murmurs. Louis’ eyes twinkle. “What ever do you mean?” He flutters his eyelashes.

“Tease me. I’m a ticking time bomb, I could cum from a single look.” Louis quickly looks away with a knowing grin. The elevator opens and he glances at Harry once before releasing his hand. “I’ll be sure not to look at you until later, then. When you’re on your knees and begging to cum again.” And with that he leaves Harry leaning against the wall, meeting up with Liam in the lobby. Harry groans and adjusts before going over to Niall with flushed cheeks and biting his lips.

“You look downright miserable. Is he denying you again?” Harry pouts.

“More my fault. I’ve just not done anything like that lately and he wont assist the problem.” Harry leans against Niall until they get in the van. He and Niall take the back seat and Liam and Zayn take the middle. Louis sits in the front. 

“Maybe if you act out he’ll punish you… he usually lets you after that, doesn’t he?” Harry blushes. 

It was just a few months ago that the boys had come to the apartment and had their wicked ways with him. Since then they’ve all become very open about talking about Harry and Louis’ relationship; every dynamic of it. And though it should be freeing to finally tell someone about the things they do and not be ashamed, he still gets a little embarrassed by it. 

“Sometimes. More often I’m not allowed to when I’m being punished.” Niall nods and bites his lip, sits quiet for a minute before he looks at Louis and then Harry. 

“What does it feel like to go under?” Harry is surprised by Niall’s question. He’s surprised the others didn’t hear his gasp. He’s grateful they’re being loud, and he and Niall are talking quietly. 

“Um…” He blanks. How do you describe something like that?

“It’s okay if you can’t describe it… I’m just curious.” Harry swallows.

“It’s different for everyone…. but for me, it starts out when he tells me what to do. It’s relieving, to just not think; freeing. I just stop thinking about everything, and focus on what he wants me to do. How he wants me to feel. What I can do to make him happy. To please him. He likes to make me struggle- to challenge me. I love it because it makes me work harder, makes me go down faster… Your mind just sort of goes clear, focuses on that one thing. It’s almost like when you’re really tired, and you just stare at something and don't snap out of it for a while. You’re awake, but it’s fuzzy. I always feel fuzzy. That’s not fully under. When you completely go under, everything sort of fades out. Like you’re flying with your eyes shut. You’re there and everything is distant, there but not…”

“Being fully under sounds like when you’re going under anesthetic for surgery.” Niall comments. Harry smiles. He remembers going under anesthetic when he was younger. He nods. “Yeah, it’s like that. Feels so nice though.”

“How do you find someone… like Louis?” He asks as they start pulling into the arena. Harry knits his eyebrows. “A Dom?” 

“Yeah.” Niall breathes. Harry thinks. “Well, Louis and I just gradually got into it? We didn’t know anything about this… There’s clubs you can go to, and they’re all non-disclosure but… but not all Doms are alike… it’s complicated, Ni…” Niall frowns. Harry looks at Louis who is bugging Liam already, and his eyes light up.

“Maybe Louis could show you.” Harry says and Niall raises his eyebrows at Harry with shock.

 “Are you joking?” Niall asks and Harry shakes his head. 

“I’m being serious. You need a Dom you can trust, someone who knows what they’re doing who can start simple with you, and Niall you’re not exactly invisible to the world so you need to be safe… and it’s not always about sex, either. I think Louis wouldn’t mind.” 

“But would you mind? I mean- if he did- I mean, if it happened…. he is yours. You wouldn’t be jealous?” Harry raises an eyebrow at him.

“Niall. He was perfectly okay with letting all three of you with me. How could I let it bother me if he’s showing you something I know? Something I love? Look, we’ve got to get out. I’ll talk to him about it.” Harry says and Niall bites his lip. His cheeks are stained pink. “Really H, you’re serious?” Harry rolls his eyes and grins at him.

“Get out of the car you leprechaun.” 

They’re waiting in the arena. The show is going to start soon, and Harry is eating a banana. Louis is eating popcorn on the couch near him. He still hasn’t looked at him since the elevator. Harry can’t stop thinking about his and Niall’s talk in the car. It was unexpected, but he almost feels like if he doesn’t bring it up to Louis soon he’ll burst. He knows that Niall’s curiosity is genuine, and he’s all for helping someone discover this world. It’s quite amazing. So he finishes his banana, starts chewing on his fingernail, and raises his eyes to Louis’ He’s still not looking at him. 

“Would you ever consider domming someone else?” Harry blurts, and Louis starts choking on his popcorn. He drops his bag, holds his chest and coughs until his throat clears. His eyes look up at Harry, blazing. His mouth dangles open.

“What?” He finally speaks and fuck- Harry started this all wrong. Niall and Liam are working out a new melody on the other side of the room, and Zayn is out having a cig.  

“I’m sorry. I started that wrong. I just-“ Louis takes Harry’s hands in his hands and kisses them. 

“Hazza, there will only ever be you. You know that.” Louis says softly, as if he thinks Harry is questioning his faith. Harry shakes his head.

“You’re not understanding- Lou… I know you’d never stray. And I love you for that. But… I know someone who is curious about this… about this part of the relationship. It’s important that they learn from someone who knows what they’re doing- and that it’s safe… and secret. And I trust them, I trust you. And I suggested talking to you about domming hi- them.”

“And you’re okay with this?” Louis asks in the softest voice. Harry smiles. His eyes look over to Niall quickly, and then back to Louis. 

“Well I did suggest it. So yes. You were okay with the boys and me. I am okay with you domming this person. They’re practically family.” Harry admits and Louis thinks about it. 

“H, is that person in this room?” Harry nods. Louis bites his lip. He looks up. Liam is singing a tune, Niall’s playing guitar. His eyes flash up and meet Harry and Louis’ gaze, as if he could sense them watching him. He flushes and quickly looks back to his hands finger picking the guitar. Louis gasps.

“Niall?” He says and Harry grins.

“Trust me, I was surprised when he asked.” Harry says and adjusts himself in his jeans. Louis swallows.

“But I don't- H, I’ve never dommed anyone but you.” Harry squeezes his hands. “You’re an amazing Dom, Louis. You’d never hurt anyone. Just think about it. He just wants to learn what it’s about, what it’s like. I think you’d be the perfect person to teach him. You’ve taught me well.” Harry says and adjusts again. Louis grimaces.

“If you don’t stop doing that I will take you over my knee right here. Niall can watch and learn that way. Set the example.” Harry’s eyes darken and he quickly moves his hands. He can’t get any harder before he goes on stage. He swallows and Louis touches his face. 

“Tell him I will think about it. In the mean time, have him do research.” Harry nods. Louis stands up and Harry follows. He kisses Harry and tells him he’s going to fetch Zayn, and Harry feels much better now that he’s asked. He didn’t know how Louis would react, but he thinks this reaction was the one he was hoping for. It was the same reaction he had when Harry started talking about delving into the world of BDSM. 

…

When they head onto the stage ten minutes later, they’re on fire. Harry is bouncing around and releasing energy like a toddler on pixie sticks. Niall is equally as crazy (surprised when Harry told him what Louis said). Liam and Zayn are racing up and down the catwalk and chasing each other in one big game of tag. And Louis is buzzing. He’s got a bunch of things running through his head that he’s tuning out by singing his best, giving it all he’s got. He can tell he’s doing well, as he can hear people screaming his name louder than normal. 

Harry is watching him like a hawk. He can tell Louis’ trying to out-sing his thoughts, but fuck he’s doing it so well. Changing up the melodies of his solos like he was meant to sing that way every time, subtle hip shaking to the beats, finger teased hair from all the times he runs his hands through it. Everything about him is buzzing. And as soon as he meets Harry’s eyes, Harry’s gone. 

Louis’ eyes are holding him frozen. He’s is standing at the top of the stage and Louis is in the middle and he’s holding Harry in place with a look and as soon as he looks away Harry gulps in air. But the air is not filling his lungs right, he feels like it’s entering his body and escaping through his ears. He’s swallowing but he’s drowning. He’s standing but he’s shaking. He’s looking out to the crowd but he’s seeing flashes of lights and shadows. 

He feels like he’s swaying, and someone’s at his side faster than ever. He knows it’s not Louis. If it were Louis he’d be on the floor. His eyes look up and meet Niall’s sweet blue eyes full of worry. Niall is talking but Harry can’t hear him. He’s wheezing. He can’t hear it, but he can feel the rattle of each inhale. His eyes widen with worry for himself. He tries to pretend like he can breathe, pretends like he’s not about to fall over, he doesn’t want to fear the fans. Or Louis. 

He lets Niall lead him off stage and as soon as he gets off the stage and into the wings he’s on his knees and clutching his chest. He feels like he’s crying, he feels like he’s going to be sick. He’s feeling a lot of things and all he wants is to curl up and cry in a corner but he can’t even breathe enough to do that. So he waits. Waits to pass out. Waits to do something. His eyes are spotted. He’s going to pass out. Why. What just happened. Someone pressing the inhaler to his mouth and wrapping arms around his chest, like an ‘x’ over him. He squeezes his eyes tight. 

His ears are ringing. Slowly whatever anvil on him lifts, his lungs start opening. His eyes stop blurring. He can hear someone murmuring in his ears and he can move his hands. They’re trembling horribly. When he looks up, Niall is watching with wide eyes. If it’s not Niall holding him, then it must be-

“Breathe Hazza. Drink this please.” Louis says softly. Harry drinks the orange juice in the cup he’s handed. He can swallow again. “Niall, they’re dying out there. Tell them I had to wee, and that Harry is a tad ill. We’ll be out in a minute.” Niall listens, running on stage quickly. Louis runs his ringers through Harry’s damp curls. Everyone backstage is bustling around, watching them with soft eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to drop. I thought you were okay. I know we haven’t- but I thought… and H, fuck you almost passed out on stage. Scared me half to death when I saw Niall walking you off. Are you alright now? Breathing okay? Not dizzy?” Louis finally has Harry facing him. Harry nods. 

“Why… I haven’t had a panic attack- or an asthma attack in a long time.” Louis nods.

“Some people have drops differently, H. Fuck. We’re fixing this tonight, okay? I promise you I will take care of you tonight. Just promise me you can get through to the second half.” Harry nods.

“I’m okay. I promise. I don’t know why- I’m okay.” He finally stands up and shaky on his feet, Louis makes him drink another glass of orange juice. Louis hands Harry a hair elastic and Harry throws his hair up into a bun. His skin feels hot but he’s feeling better than he did on the floor.

“You’re going to take it easy out there.” Louis murmurs and he turns for the stage. He looks back at Harry and hands him his mic. Harry smiles. They step back into the spotlights of the stage and the crowd erupts.

“Look who I found on the way back from the loo!” Louis gestures and Harry grins, walking out to the middle of the stage. “Hazza here has been ordered to take it easy. No ballerina pirouettes for you, mister.” Louis mock scolds and Harry mock salutes and sits down on the edge of the stage. 

The boys talk for a few minutes, before launching into their next song. Three songs later they’re off the stage for their second half intermission. Harry watches the boys shuck off their jeans and pull on different pants and he can’t take his second pair of jeans because if he removes his now he’ll pop out everywhere and he doubts he’ll be able to tuck again without passing out. He bites his lip. He knows they have about five minutes. All he’ll need is one. 

“I need you. Now. Punish me for it later.” Harry drags Louis to the bathroom and pops his pants open before Louis can question it. He looks stern and scolding but when he sees how desperate Harry is, how lost he looks, he takes his cock dry in his hand and gives him quick, sharp tugs and Harry throws his head back against the wall.

“You scared me half to death out there. Now you’ve got me doing your dirty work, while at work, Harold.  You are so going to be punished later.” Louis says, twisting up. Harry keens and nods.

“I hope so.” Harry says, Louis gives another sharp tug and Harry mewls, buries his face in the crook of Louis’ neck, sobbing in relief as he spills over Louis’ hand. Louis curses. Harry slumps into him, slack with the post-orgasm euphoria. Louis sighs. 

“Harry, I hate to ruin this moment for you. I’m glad you’re going to feel better, but you’ve got cum on my jeans, all over my hand, and if you don't get off me and do up your pants it’s going in your hair.” Harry giggles and sits up. He rests against the wall. “Thank you.” He breathes. Louis frowns at the small cum stain on his jeans.

“Caroline’s going to give me an earful. And a high five. But mainly an earful.” A knock on the door startles them and they usher themselves out into the room. Louis goes to change his pants, but there’s no time. He’s going out on stage with Harry’s cum on his jeans. Harry earns a fond glare. 

“So. Much. Trouble. Harold.”  Louis murmurs, giving him a kiss before they’re out on stage and finishing off their concert, and the only thing that gets Harry through the concert is the knowing fact that Louis is going to punish him later. Promises, promises.

*

Harry doesn't actually get punished after the show. He realizes that after they’re off the stage and in the hotel that he's exhausted. He feels wheezy when he lays down on the bed and Louis senses just how much this attack took out of him. He tells Harry that he's not cross anymore. He tells him they'll take a rain check. He tells him to take his inhaler again to be safe and cuddle into him. And when Harry is asleep he tells him to never scare him like that again. 

He remembers in the beginning of the X Factor, when they were still just young things who were brand new to the world of performing and had yet to conquer and master not getting nerves of going on stage. Harry took it the hardest. At 16, Harry was the youngest of the group and the one with the biggest nerves. Even if he never showed it. It used to take Louis coaxing him with soft words of encouragement to get him off the bathroom floor and into hair and makeup and wardrobe to get him on the stage looking presentable and fuckable and unafraid when really he's spent hours before in a right panic. 

He can still remember the panic attacks. He remembers holding Harry, arms across his chest like an X to get his airways open again. He remembers soft damp curls and arms clinging and soft sobbing and being the sun at the centre of this boys universe. He can still remember the asthma attack that happened after they'd placed third. He doesn't think of it often because it always leaves him choked up and worried that the boy sleeping in his arms will stop breathing like that again. 

The next morning they're on the bus traveling and Harry is a clingy cuddle bug. He curls up on the couch, head on Louis' lap and a smile on his face. Zayn sketches at the dining table of the bus. Liam is playing Fifa. Niall sits on the other couch and watches curiously over his laptop. Louis suspects hes researching. Louis still isn't sure about that yet. 

Louis refuses to move even when he needs to wee because for the first time in weeks Harry has managed to be comfortable and looks quite happy and sleepy in his lap and he quite likes that he can just stare at him while he's all cuddly. He brushes his fingers through the loose tendrils of Harry's hair. They're less curly now, only at the ends but still endlessly shiny and soft and beautiful and asking to be played with. Harry smiles as Louis' nails scratch his scalp. He hums. 

"Love you." Harry sighs and Louis smiles. "Love you too.” Louis replies.

"How're you feeling?" Louis asks him and Harry yawns. He smiles fondly up at Louis. 

"Okay." 

"You're wheeze is gone." Niall points out. Harry hums at that. 

"I took my inhaler again this morning." Louis can't help but think of something. 

"That reminds me… No breathplay for a few scenes, Haz. I don't need you passing out on me." Harry whines and pouts and Louis places a hand over his mouth. Harry stills. Eyes widen. Louis smirks.

"Enough out of you, mister." Harry nods and swallows. Louis hand returns to Harry's hair and gives a tug. Harry groans. Niall freezes, Louis looks up. He's been watching them. HIs cheeks are pink and Louis’ sure he’s sporting a erection.

"Add breathplay to your research." Louis adds and Niall flushes but nods and types something out. Zayn looks up from his work. 

"Research?" He questions. Louis grins. "Niall here is quite possibly going to delve into our world, Zaynie." Zayn frowns. 

"Dom or sub?" 

“Honestly, does he strike you as a Dom?" Louis retorts and Niall keens from the couch. His ears are flaming red. 

"So submissive then." Zayn says and returns to his sketch. 

“Who’s going to Dom him?” Liam asks from where he’s coming out from the bedroom area, pyjama pants sitting low on his hips and he’s scratching his bare chest. Niall’s eyes quickly flicker to his computer. 

“Louis.” Harry replies and Liam freezes. Zayn’s eyes flicker up in confusion and curiosity. “Louis?” 

“Well, if Louis’ okay with it.” Harry shrugs. Liam’s eyebrows furrow. “Are you okay with it?”

“Harry’s the one who suggested it, actually.” Louis supplies and this surprises Liam and Zayn.

“But- but wouldn’t be considered cheating? Or something like that?” 

“Not all BDSM includes sex Li, you can Dom someone without sticking it in. It’s more than that. And I still haven’t said yes. Niall, research!” Louis says sternly and Niall quickly returns to looking at his computer. “Seems like you’re doing it already.” Liam mutters. Louis rolls his eyes.

“I could Dom the hell out of all of you. Oh look at that! An In and Out burger. Oi bus driver, speed up a little bit and get us to an In and Out, and stat!” 

*

They have a few days off in L.A. before they’re back to being on the bus. The hotel rooms are huge, like apartments, with completely sectioned off bedrooms, and a full kitchen table. The first thing Louis does is fuck Harry on the table. Then the couch. The bed. In the shower. They’re taking advantage of the down time. People will see them again in a few days. They don’t plan on leaving the hotel room unless they have to. 

So the first half of their first day off is spent in bed. Curled up and cuddled into each other watching shit American television, and ordering room service. But it starts to get really hot when the sun starts to go down, and so Louis urges Harry out of bed and into a pair of swim trunks. The two head out of the hotel room to the hotel’s indoor pool. It’s late afternoon, and going outside is not where they want to go. They want the privacy of being inside, they want all the alone time together they can get. 

The pool is empty when they get there; it’s nice to have the pool to themselves because they don't have to worry about people seeing them. Louis wades in the shallow end while Harry takes several laps up and down the pool. Louis dunks under the water and comes back up, brushing his hair off his face. Harry is making his way to the shallow end of the pool. Louis grins. He stays off to the side until Harry finishes his lap. He inches his way closer to Harry, who is wiping his face on a towel and brushing his hair off his forehead. Louis strikes before Harry can scream. He takes him under the water and wraps around him like a koala. Harry flounders but Louis holds strong, keeping Harry under. When they come up Harry splutters and frowns at Louis.

“What was that for?” He pants and Louis grins.

“Thought we could try underwater breathplay. Doesn’t that sound fun?” Louis teases and Harry immediate loses the frown, eyes widen and lip bit. Louis rolls his eyes.

“We’ve got a few days Hazza, let’s try to be normal humans who don’t think about sex twenty four seven.” Harry whines.

“You promised, the other day… You said you would punish me for making you get me off during the show…” Louis sighs and runs a hand over Harry’s arm.

“H…” Harry’s frown deepens. He crosses his arms and flinches away from Louis’ touch.

“Don't you ‘H’ me, I’m serious. I want to play, I want you to touch me, I want you to be all over me… we haven’t in so long and yes, fuck yes I’m being greedy, and maybe it will only cause me to be punished more but so be it. I need it. I need you, Lou.” Louis’ face remains stern and emotionless. He wades over to Harry, glaring up at him and making Harry feel small. Harry still pouts, bottom lip quivering and eyes wide.

“Right then. Go to the room. Dry yourself off. Be kneeling naked by the end of the bed when I get in the room.” Harry blinks, takes a beat to breathe, long enough for Louis to quirk an eyebrow. “Go.” 

Harry’s never swam so fast or walked so far in all his life. Louis does a lap of the pool once, twice, three times before climbing out and brushing a towel across his face, chest, and then through his hair. He takes the lift upstairs to their hotel room, and when he hopes the door Harry is kneeling at the end of the bed, hands behind his back, naked and hard, waiting. His face is downcast and doesn’t look up when Louis enters the room. ‘Good’ Louis thinks to himself.

Louis makes an effort to make a lot of noise as he flits around the room. He reaches into their bag and rifles through, smiling when he hears Harry’s audible gasp and peeks over to see Harry tilting his head as if hearing the items will tell him what Louis’ picking. Louis bits his lip. It’s going to be a long night.

“Spread your legs.” Louis says from across the room, hoping to see Harry squirm. Harry freezes a moment before going to move his hands. “I didn’t say use your hands.” Harry shivers and slowly spreads his legs with his hands still behind his back. “Further.” Harry whimpers, going further so he’s sitting back on his thighs, bum hovering above the floor, legs spread as far as they can go. He lets out a shaky breath and tries to maintain the painful position. Louis sits back a moment to watch him squirm. He can hear Harry’s heavy breathing. “Good boy.”

Louis stands, places the things he’s picked on the table near the bed out of Harry’s vision. Louis then goes to the end of the bed, sits down and looks at Harry. Harry is looking at his knees. Louis tilts his chin.

“I have a lot planned for tonight. It’s a long one. Very intense. Are you up for it?” He asks,  brushing a soft thumb across Harry’s cheek. Harry sighs, leans into the touch, and smiles. “Yes, sir.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“Just because you watched Fifty Shades does not mean I need to be called sir. Louis will do just fine. You know your words?” Harry nods. Louis gives his cheek a slap. Harry gasps. “Yes.” He chokes. 

“What are they and what do they mean? I need to know that you’ll remember them if you need them.” Harry sighs and Louis doesn’t hesitate to give him another slap. “Oh.” Harry breathes. Louis raises an eyebrow.

“Green is good. I’m green right now, despite the uncomfortable position, thank you. Yellow is coming close to my limit. Red means stop. Red is bad.” Louis gives another slap, this time a caress follows, as the slap was a reward. Harry keens into the touch. “Good boy.” Louis gives a tug on Harry’s hair, urging him to stand up, and Harry does so gracefully without missing a beat, hands behind his back still.

Louis puts out his leg and gives Harry a shove. The shove sends him toppling, arms out to catch himself as he slips into place over Louis’ knee. His face is down towards the carpet. His arms supporting him. His cock is pressed between Louis’ thighs which are squeezing together hard. Harry groans. Louis releases his cock and puts his right leg over Harry’s legs, holding him in place. His left hand finds the back of Harry’s neck, forcing him to stay. He’s trapped. He loves it.

“We’re here because you want me to punish you. You’ve asked, begged, pleaded and whined like a little bitch about it, and so now we’re here. You nearly had a complete drop because you didn’t tell me how you were feeling. You made me get you off mid show. You came on my jeans and I had to preform in them. You’ve been quite a naughty boy, Harry. I am not holding back. I will tell you what I am going to do before doing it. You will use your three safe words accordingly. That is all I will hear from you unless you’re told otherwise. You will not cum until I say so. Do you understand the rules, Harry?” Harry shivers. “Yes Louis. I understand. Thank you.” He says and presses his face to Louis’ thigh.

“Right. We’ll warm you up then. If you move your arms, I will tie them. Let’s begin.” A hand lands sharp on Harry’s arse, a loud crack is heard. Harry jumps, more at the noise than the soft sting on his bum. Louis does hit him again for another minute. Oh good lord. He’s doing an anticipation scene?

The next hit is sharp, coming down on the left cheek. Harry grimaces. This is nothing. This is childs play. He lets himself close his eyes, relax into the feeling of Louis spanking him, only to be jolted from that feeling of security by a sharp lick. He gasps, and quickly looks back at Louis, who looks stern as ever and another lick across his arse makes him realizes what it is. A belt. 

“Oh.” Harry says, earning another lash. His bum starts stinging for real. But then it returns to Louis’ hands spanking him, over and over incessant and relentless on the spots he’d already hit with the belt. It becomes more and more difficult to stay still. He finds himself arching away from the next blow, only to be reminded that he’s not going anywhere. Trapped. He gasps on a particularly hard hit, the next following in quick succession. 

“Oh!” Harry chokes out and quickly covers his bum with his hands. 

Louis tuts, lands a hard smack on Harry’s ass and takes both Harry’s hands in his left hand, bringing them away from his ass, to the small of his back and pinning them there despite Harry’s kicking and struggling. The next his is a hard slap of the belt. Harry cries out and struggles harder. He can hear it, Louis reaching for something just out of reach, and can feel the hard plastic being pulled around the skin just above his elbows, pinning them together and cinching them, making his back arch and his shoulder curve back. He then feels another secure around his wrists. Fuck. He’s trussed up with cable ties. The plastic makes indents to his skin, making him constantly think about it. They make his hands just out of reach to cover his arse from the next blows. He’s definitely trapped now.

“I warned you Harry. You take what you are given. You are to be grateful and not greedy. Because you’ve moved your hands and forced me to bind you, you’ve earned another ten when we begin the actual spanking, and I trust you will count out each one. You will proceed to thank me for each one, because you are grateful. You will not cum. You take what you are given, be thankful for it. Now, shall we continue?” Louis asks and grabs Harry’s curls, drawing his head back to see Harry’s face. He’s so beautiful when he’s like this. “Yes.” Harry breathes. Louis smacks his arse, drawing out a soft whine. Harry wrenches his eyes shut. “Yes, Louis. Thank you.”

“What’s your colour?” Louis asks, rubbing Harry’s arse cheeks. Harry shivers.

“Green.” He breathes. “Are you sure?” He gives a testing slap of the belt, causing Harry to tense and grit his teeth. 

“Yes Louis.” Louis nods. He continues the relentless spanking, each cheek getting a slap from his hand and each one causing Harry to sink further into Louis’ lap. He sighs when Louis finishes. HIs ass feels like it’s bright pink.

“Good. We’re onto the actual spanking now. What are your instructions?”

“Count off. Thank you.” Louis nods.

“If you miss a count, we start over. If you forget to thank me, we start over. If you’re not loud enough, you’ll receive an extra at the end. Remember why we are doing this Harry. Because you asked me to punish you. Are you thankful? Grateful that I am here to do this for you? Here to give you what you need?” Harry shivers as the tantalizing fingers trail his back.

“Yes, Louis. I’m very grateful for you. Thank you. I love you.” His cheeks pink. 

“And I love you. Count for me.” Louis raises the belt and lowers it in precise movements well practiced.

Slap. “One. Thank you.”

Slap. “Two. Thank you.”

Slap. Slap. Slap. “Three. Four. Five. Thank you.”

Fourteen spanks in, Harry misses a beat. “Fourteen… thank you.” He breathes out.

“An extra.” Louis says and lays two quick in succession. Harry squeezes his eyes shut. He lets out a soft breath. His shoulders are starting to hurt. He’s starting to go fuzzy. “Fifteen. Sixteen.” Louis pauses. Harry freezes. Oh no.

“You were doing so well. Oh dear, I’m afraid you forgot to thank me for those. Looks like we’re going to have to begin again.” Harry’s heart hammers. He’s so overwhelmed. He lets out a shaky breath and watches as the first tear slips to the carpet.  He lets out a soft exhale. Slap. Harry grits his teeth. “One. Thank you.”

By the end of the twenty two spankings, Harry is sobbing. He’s sobbing and he’s choking out and all but screaming the number and the thank you. At the end of it his heart is pounding loud in his chest. His cheeks are soaked with tears. He’s shaking, shivering, overwhelmed. He’s letting out guttural sobs and Louis drops the belt, pulls him onto the bed and lets him cuddle into Louis’ chest, sobbing still. His arms remain bound by the cable ties. It feels nice. He lets go and floats in his head, letting the sobs escape him as Louis just holds him and murmurs soft things to him. 

“You did so well baby. Well done. Your bum is a beautiful colour. I suspect you might bruise. Bloody hell, you’re brilliant Haz, always so good for me. Gonna float for a while? We can play more later, okay?” Harry feebly nods, watches Louis get off the bed to retrieve scissors to cut him out of the cable ties, and then he rubs his arms gently and wonderfully. Harry floats for a good while, and Louis just stays and encourages him and rubs cream into his blooming red behind and gets him to drink water and holds him. Harry finally comes down nearly two hours of being in his fuzzy space. Louis can sense the change in Harry’s breathing, can tell his boy is back with him.

“Hi darling. I don’t know if you were up when I called, but I ordered us room service. I didn’t want to get something too heavy, we don’t want you to get sick like that one time, so I just ordered us sandwiches. And we can play after we eat alright?” Harry hums and nuzzles into Louis until the food gets there. Harry eats the sandwich on his stomach, not ready to lay on his back just yet. The pulled chicken is fresh and cooked perfectly and blends nicely with the lettuce, cheese, tomato and sauce. Harry eats his by the time Louis’ done half of his.

“Eager as ever, Styles.” Louis rolls his eyes fondly and Harry grins, he wiggles his eyebrows. Louis lands a smack on his arse, causing Harry to curl in on himself and groan. Holy fuck, how is he ever going to be able to sit? “Oh I quite like that reaction.” 

“Ready?” Louis asks. Harry meets his eyes from where he’s still curled in on himself. Harry nods. “Stand.” 

Harry scoots to the end of the bed, stands and Louis grabs his hand and draws it closer. Harry immediately squirms. Louis grins. Harry bites his lip. Louis nods. 

“So you want to play it that way huh?” He says tauntingly and then circles Harry’s wrist quickly. 

Harry begins to struggle, his breathing gets heavy fast and Louis loves this. It’s nice when Harry submits, but it’s also fun when he struggles because Louis can feel him truly struggling. He can feel Harry’s muscles reacting and trying to get away. And he loves the feeling when he’s finally caught him, pinned him, forced him to stop squirming and just accept the fact that he’s stuck and at Louis’ mercy. Under Louis’ control. It also gets Harry very hard when he has to struggle. Harry is working hard to get away, but Louis ensnares his other wrist and then he pushes Harry back onto the bed, climbing on top of him and pinning his wrists to the small of his back. Harry squirms and kicks until Louis grabs his hair tightly, forcing him to look back. Harry groans.

“You’re caught Hazza, you put on a good show.” He teases and then pushes Harry’s face to the bed, his cheek being pushed into the mattress. Harry tries to turn his face down into the mattress, but Louis pulls him back up. “I told you no breathplay.” Harry whines. 

“Just a little. I’m… my breathings fine, that was days ago. Please. I want it. I will beg. Please.” he says as he struggles. Louis sighs. Harry ruts against the bed and Louis frowns. He pushes Harry’s face into the mattress and holds. He holds even after Harry starts bucking. He holds for thirty seconds and pulls Harry up. Harry gasps. “Thank you. More. Please.” He pants. Louis shakes his head. 

“Maybe in a bit. You done struggling or do I have to just use cable ties again? I did have something rather fun to tie you up with.” Harry sighs. “I’ll be good and stay.” He says simply and Louis presses his wrists to his back to tell him to stay there. Harry remains in the same place, legs spread wide open and inviting, arms crossed behind his back and face down in the mattress. Louis retrieves something off the table and sits in front of Harry in the bed. Harry looks up. His eyes darken. It’s the belt again.

“Not for spanking. I learned how to make cuffs out of it. I figured I should learn some alternatives in case we couldn’t bring the bag. Watch.”

Louis takes the belt and makes a loop like you would if you were putting on the belt, but makes the loop small enough for a wrist. He then does the exact opposite, he feeds the long end of the belt backwards through the buckle to make a second cuff, making sure that the cuffs aren’t too small or about to fall out of the buckle. He brings the tail around the left cuff to slip it through the belt loop and then around the right cuff to send it back through the buckle. At this point he grins at Harry. He then tightens it as tight as he can and ‘locks’ it with the pin of the belt. Harry shivers.

“I have to do this to you now. You’ll tell me if it’s hurting?” Harry smiles. “Yes, Louis.” Louis goes behind Harry. He gives Harry’s bum a swat, delighting in the jerk reaction Harry gives and the groan that erupts from him when his hard cock rocks against the mattress. He repeats all the steps to Harry’s wrists, making sure they’re tight enough so he can’t get out, but still loose enough that they’re not going to hurt him.

“There. Roll over.” Louis nudges and Harry rolls over, whining at the contact on his bum. Louis grins.

“You look beautiful.” He tells Harry as he kneels up on the bed. He brushes his hands across Harry’s chest, fingers swirling around his nipples and making them hard. Harry shivers. “Please.” 

“Hm? I can’t hear you.” He says and trails southward. His fingers bring goosebumps in it’s wake and Harry groans. “Please!” He shouts. Louis laughs. 

“Alright, alright. What is it that you want?” He asks teasingly. Harry whines and tries to push his chest upwards. “Touch them. Touch them please. God please, Lou.” 

The need in Harry’s voice moves Louis to finally touch the perky nipples begging to be touched. He smiles when Harry sighs and slumps back to the bed, letting Louis trail his fingers back and forth and rolling the nubs between his thumb and pointer finger. He pinches and twists and Harry gasps. 

“Oh. Thank you.” He breathes. “Polite as ever, Hazza.” Louis says and scratches his nails over them. Harry gasps and rolls his hips up at nothing. “Oh.”

“One of these days, we’ll do a zipper. Would you like that?” Louis asks, scratching two straight lines down Harry’s chest where clothespins would if a zipper were there. Harry chokes out a noise. “Please.”

“Maybe I’ll gag you for that. And blindfold you. And I’ll do one to your thigh too. See how that feels.” He scratches down his thigh. Harry groans. He nods at everything Louis says. Louis pinches Harry’s hip really hard, earning a whine from Harry before he pinches the other hip. He holds the pinch until Harry’s panting.

“And just when the pain of the pinching gets too much, I’ll pull the ribbon off, and one by one the clothespins will pull off your skin, and I bet you’ll cum all over yourself.” Louis releases the pinches he has. Harry is gasping for air, his face is red from holding his breath. 

“Oh god.” Louis starts pinching all over his body. It’s instant reaction for Harry to start struggling, trying to roll and turn and curl in on himself to defend off Louis’ conniving fingers. And then he starts to tickle. Harry feels like he’s dying. He’s giggling and thrashing and Louis is laughing and Harry starts to cry because he’s overwhelmed and when he laughs he does that. When Louis thinks he’s had enough, Harry continues to giggle as he curls into Louis’ embrace. Louis can’t stop grinning.

“Fuck I love this.” Louis admits. “What’s your colour?” Harry sighs and giggles again.

“Green. Thank you.” He tells him. 

“Good boy.” Louis kisses him gently.

He hopes off the bed and collects something, and when Harry looks at him, he sees Louis naked and holding lube. Finally. Harry squirms in excitement. He anticipates the soft click of the cap and is expecting a deft and persistent finger opening him, he’s ready for it. But what he doesn’t expect is for Louis to coat his hand in lube and coat Harry’s cock. Harry’s cock is so hard, and the feeling is great but he’s unsure if he’s allowed to cum and if this is some cruel torture he’ll be sure to whine about it. 

“Lou?” He asks and Louis looks into his eyes with a raised eyebrow. “Can I cum?” Louis snorts.

“Did I tell you you could?” He says rather dully. Harry sighs. “No.” Louis nods.

“There’s your answer then. Besides, you’re not close yet.” Louis says casually and Harry flushes. It shouldn’t embarrass him that Louis knows exactly how he is before he cums, but it still makes him turn pink. 

Louis abruptly stops touching Harry, and he straddles Harry. He hovers above Harry’s head, an arm propping him up on either side, and he gives Harry a sideways smile. Louis reaches behind him and lines himself up with Harry’s cock. Louis hovers, letting Harry feel him but doesn’t let him enter just yet. Such a tease. Harry groans and wants to cover his eyes but he cant. 

“Bloody hell.” Harry pants and Louis finally lets him in. Harry can feel that Louis has already opened himself up. When the fuck did that happen?

“When you were blissed out.” Louis adds as if Harry voiced his question out loud. 

Louis is fully seated on Harry’s cock and Harry begins to shake. Louis rarely ever lets this happen, he definitely prefers to top, but when Harry does get to be inside Louis, it’s always in a scene. Sometimes he wishes they could just have a vanilla night where Harry ravishes Louis to thank him for all he’s done. Harry tries to buck his hips up and is greeted with a slap to his cheek. He lets out a strangled gasp.

“Be good.” Louis says. 

His hips do full rotations, never rising, remaining fully seated on Harry’s cock. Harry can feel Louis clenching around him. Can feel just how slick he is from the lube. All at once Louis presses a hand to Harry’s throat restricting the air, pulls himself up and slams himself back down on Harry’s cock. Harry all but screams. His legs kick and he can’t breathe and his eyes water and Louis doesn’t move again after that. Harry’s chest is heaving. His eyes are shut and he is struggling against the belt beneath him. 

“Oh fuck. Lou please.” He pants. Louis gives a quick jump up and back down. Harry’s voice cracks. 

“Oh Hazza, you look so lovely like this. Being so good for me. You want me to ride you?” Louis asks sweetly. His voice is dripping in a sour teasing tone. Harry whimpers.

“Yes, please.” He says softly. Louis meets his eyes. He smiles. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Harry asks, surprised. But Louis just grins and nods. “Okay. But you can’t cum.” Harry nods. Louis brushes a thumb across his face. Louis starts moving, a slow and steady rhythm. Each time he comes down, he makes sure to swivel his hips tighten around Harry. Harry easily becomes breathless and he’s not even the one doing all the work. He’s just laying there, taking it. Focusing on not cumming.

“Doing so well…” Louis says. His pace quickens. Harry can see Louis’ growing tired, can tell he’s coming close to a grand finale. Harry isn’t far behind him. His cock pulses, he gasps. “Lou, I’m close.” He breathes. Louis freezes. 

“Don't you cum, Harry.” Louis huffs and begins building up a rhythm. 

You can hear the slapping sound of skin meeting skin. Harry bites his lip. He holds his breath. He arches his hips to give Louis a deeper downstroke. Just when Harry’s about ready to scream, Louis comes down and shouts out curses as he cums across his chest and Harry’s. He stays on Harry a moment longer, and then climbs off haphazardly. Harry is panting. He’s staring at the ceiling and telling himself Louis will let him cum soon. He can be good. He can wait. Louis kisses him and brushes fingers through messy curls.

“You’re amazing, darling. Thank you.” Harry grins and blushes. Louis thanking him always makes him happy. Louis cleans himself and Harry off with a cool wet wipe that he conveniently placed on the night stand, and they lay there for a few minutes.

“You up for a continue?” Louis asks softly and Harry lifts his head.

“Yes. I’m not under yet. Fuzzy. Good fuzzy. Green.” Louis nods and kisses him gently. “Good boy.”

Louis gets off the bed and brings over a bunch of things to the bed, but Harry is still turned away facing the wall. Louis brushes his curls out of his face.

“Gonna blindfold you H, just for a few minutes…” Harry frowns. He’s not opposed to blindfolds, but why only for a few minutes? Regardless, Louis slips the black fabric over his eyes and ties it tightly. He doesn’t complain about the small amount of hair tied into it. Louis flips him onto his stomach and Harry gives a soft ‘oof’. He can feel Louis undoing the belt. He sighs and Louis rubs his arms to get the feeling back to them. Then he’s flipped over again, onto his back. He whines about his bum.

“Don’t make me gag you.” Louis warns and Harry nods. He’s curious about what Louis plans to do.

Louis grabs Harry’s right arm, and Harry can feel a soft hemp rope being wound around his wrist. His cock gives a steady leap. He gasps when Louis then loops another piece of rope through the one around his wrist, and begins tying it around the skin just above his knee on his thigh. To be comfortable, Harry has to bend his elbow and rest his forearm against his thigh. Doing this causes his leg to remain in the air at the angle where Harry’s arm is comfortable. Oh fuck. 

“Oh.” Harry breathes. Louis hums. When it’s finished and Louis’ checked to make sure it’s not going to hurt Harry, he works on the left leg. The position once his wrists are bound makes him feel vulnerable. Like a treat that says ‘eat me’. Only this time it would say ‘use me’. Kind of like his sign for the boys.

“Harry, you look magnificent.” Louis says softly. 

Harry slowly lowers his legs and attempts to get comfy with his arms stretched out. He can hear Louis moving to get something else. A soft clink. Metal? It can't be handcuffs. Harry jumps when Louis grabs his left foot and wraps something around his ankle. The feeling is soft and tight. A cuff. Another goes on his right ankle. He’s cuffing is ankles? But they aren’t draw together. Detached cuffs? Harry is thoroughly confused. He can hear the soft clink noise again. Something attached to the left cuff. Then the right. His legs feel normal. But then- 

“Oh holy fuck.”

Harry’s legs are spread apart and a click can be heard. He can’t move his legs. His legs feel like they’re two feet apart. There’s a spreader bar connected to the cuffs, making his legs unable to close and unable to move. The length of the spreader makes his legs stay upwards in an angle but also spread out so his arse and dick are on full display, which makes his arms more comfortable but his bum is on display and his legs start shaking. He’s fucked.

“How does that feel?” Louis asks. He takes the blindfold off Harry, who’s eyes are wide, his lips are impossibly red, and his chest is heaving.

“God- when did you get this? We didn’t bring one with us- it feels really good.” Louis smiles.

“Surprise. Can you get out of it? Put up a struggle for me.” Harry wriggles around a bunch, which only makes him breathless and sweaty, and at one point he nearly flips to his front. Oh fuck, Harry can just imagine himself face down in the mattress, legs spread so far and hands bound to the spreader bar between his legs with another pair of cuffs, or maybe it’ll be built in shackles on the bar; his bum even more on display and him even more restricted. He can just imagine Louis using a paddle on him, maybe he’d even gag him. He groans and bucks up at nothing. Louis grins.

“Having thoughts?” Harry nods. “Tell me.” Harry tells him exactly what he’s thinking and Louis grins.

“Oh I do like the way you think. We’ll see what I can do. But for now, let’s work on getting you ready.” Louis holds up the lube and coats his fingers with a generous amount. 

Louis is meticulous about opening Harry up. He avoids his prostate which he’s got down to a science of where to find it, and he makes sure to press them in as far as they’ll go before pulling out and pressing back in, scissoring to stretch him. Harry just lays there and takes it. He’s slowly sinking into the headspace he loves. He always welcomes subspace with open arms.

“Tell me your colour, Harry.” Harry hums and smiles. He blinks a few times and then looks down at Louis. His eyes are blown and his smile is beautiful. “Very green.” 

“Finally going down again?” Louis asks and Harry hums again as an answer.

“So here’s what I’m going to do…” Louis says and crooks his fingers, causing Harry to jerk and wheeze out a breath, his legs kick up. “I’m going to get that pretty pink vibrator you picked out and I’m going to use it on you. And you can cum, over and over and over. I will not stop until I see at least four times. Or unless it becomes too much. This is pretty intense Hazza, you need to remember to use your words. What are they?” Louis asks and pushes a deflated curl off his face, Harry shivers.

“Green is good. Yellow is slow down. Red means stop.” 

“And if you tell me to stop without using red?” Louis traces a finger around his rim. Harry groans. “Don’t stop.” Louis grins. 

“Good.” Louis holds up the device in question. It’s about nine inches in total, a three inch handle with buttons. The shape is curved, think at the tip and thinner towards the middle with a thick bump near the base that Harry knows will massage him just right. He bites his lip. The bubble gum pink vibrator is calling his name. Harry knows just how fast that thing can go. He watches Louis trail his fingers down the length before he smiles at Harry and presses it to his lips. 

“Suck.”

Harry takes the vibrator into his mouth. The soft silicone touches his tongue and he makes a show of swirling his tongue around the tip and bobbing with speed. But then Louis pulls back until it’s almost completely out of Harry’s mouth and pushes back in until it’s at full capacity. Harry is gagging on a fake dick. Or rather a phallic shaped vibrator. Spit trails down his chin and he gasps through his nose until Louis plugs it. He’s gasping and thrashing and Louis finally pulls the vibrator out, finally releases his nose, and gives him a minute to breathe. 

“You look so beautiful like this.” Louis admits, trailing his finger down the inside of Harry’s thigh and around his cock and down the other thigh. Harry whimpers.

“Please.” Harry begs and Louis smiles. 

He adds lube to the vibrator to make sure it’s okay, and then he presses the tip to Harry’s rim. He wont let it slip in though, causing Harry to whine profusely and buck against it. Louis presses his hips down to hold him still and turns the vibrator on at the slowly dullest setting. It still lights Harry on fire. He can practically feel it inside him already, even though it’s just teasing the rim. 

“Feel that? Imagine that, right here.” Louis moves the toy and presses a finger inside rubbing it right against Harry’s prostate. Harry all but howls. “Over and over you’ll cum. It will be relentless. IS that what you want?” Harry pants. “Oh please.”

“So polite.” Louis presses the tip of the vibrator inside Harry. 

Harry shakes as the vibrator enters. It’s different to the times Louis has put it in him without the vibrations on. It vibrates every little thing it touches as it slips in, the thickest part of it now inside. Every hair on his body is on end. Just the tip is in him, yet his body feels like everything is shaking. He’s letting out heavy breathing and his eyes are wide. Louis thinks he looks so beautiful like this.

“Alright Hazza, I’m putting the rest in now. Then I’m turning it up. Are you ready?” Harry keens and nods with his eyes squeezed shut. “Yes. Fuck. Yes. God. Please. Oh.”

Louis slowly presses in the remaining length of the vibrator in Harry, pulling back and pressing a small amount more in before drawing all the way out and bottoming out with he vibrator. The last thick bump enters Harry and presses right against his prostate in the bed way. His legs start shaking and his mouth falls open. He starts pulling at his restraints. It’s overwhelming. 

“How do you feel?” Louis asks, giving an extra push to the vibrator. Harry squeals. “Oh fuck.” Is all he gets out.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” Louis says and pulls it back out, gives another shove in, and as soon as it’s positioned back inside Harry and pressed snugly against his prostate, Louis turns the vibration speed from one to three. Immediately it kickstarts, causing Harry to let out a strangled moan and he bucks up into the air at nothing. He can feel it in his belly. The vibrations are sending goosebumps over his skin. It’s so intense and he loves it. He meets Louis’ eyes who is watching him. 

“You look wonderful. I want you like this all the time.” He says softly. 

Harry keens and closes his eyes, bucking up and whining. The vibrator moves from his prostate. Louis adjusts it, pressing it back against the sensitive area, and holds it there, pressing it right into it and lot just against it. Harry can’t stop shaking. He’s kicking his legs and trying so hard to fuck himself back on the vibrator -even though there’s nothing left to take- that his abs hurt. Louis gives pull back and then drives it back into Harry, nudging his prostate and causing a lot of precum to bubble out of Harry. Harry whines.

“Oh.” He whispers, his nails digging into his knees. Louis gives the vibrator a twist, the side of the bump now massaging his prostate. Harry’s eyes roll back in his head. The steady pressure is torturous and glorious. Louis trails a finger around Harry’s balls.

“Oh god. Louis. I’m going to-“ Harry lets out a garbled sort of moan and cums across is stomach. The feeling is intense, to be cumming and still have a vibrator pressing against his prostate, practically milking it out of him. When he relaxes, the vibrator carrying on but Louis moves it so it’s not pressing against his prostate anymore. He physically relaxes but the feeling of vibrator is not helping the fact that his cock is still hard even just after cumming. Louis touches his cheek and smiles at him. 

“Beautiful boy. So good for me. Three more yeah?” Harry holds his breath, he draws his legs up as far as he can, hurting his arms but he doesn’t care. It lifts his arse into the air and Louis takes the opportunity to slip a pillow under his hips. Now his arse is right up in the air. Harry groans. He grinds back on air and Louis gives the vibrator a twist. Back on his prostate. Oh fuck.

“God.” Harry breathes. He feels so fucking alive, buzzing and glowing and GREEN, so so green. The new angle drives the vibrator into him wonderfully and the uncomfortable feeling passes as a new wave of arousal perks his dick right back into full hardness. 

“You’re such a good boy, H. Look at you. You’re wonderful.” Louis kisses Harry’s forehead and presses the vibrator in and crooks it up and in deeper. It makes Harry wail. The tears start to form in his eyes. “Lou.” He whimpers.

“I’m right here baby. How’s feel?” He asks and rubs Harry’s cheek. Harry whimpers. “Intense.”

“Good?” Harry nods, and throws his head back. Louis traces Harry’s neck with delicate fingers. Harry shivers. “Please.” He begs quietly. 

Louis presses down and Harry gasps. He pushes up into the hand until he’s struggling for air and lets himself feel the air leave him. Feel the soft burn of being unable to breathe. Louis pulls off and pulls the vibrator out until it’s just the tip again. Harry trembles and whines. You can hear the hum louder now that it’s out of him, and Harry can practically still feel it inside him. Louis reaches up and places the hand over Harry’s mouth this time. He pinches Harry’s nose with his thumb as he presses the vibrator back in, now on the fourth speed setting, and pushes it right against his prostate. 

Harry screams behind the hands, unprepared for it. He struggles and bucks and shakes his head like he needs to breathe but Louis holds fast, knows how Harry likes to struggle and feel like he can’t escape. Louis finally releases his nose and keeps his hand covered over Harry’s mouth. Harry is heaving in air and staring at Louis like he’s the centre of the universe. Oh he’s so beautiful when he goes down.

“Let’s try a different setting, shall we?” Louis says teasingly and clicks another button on the vibrator. 

Immediately it ceases the vibrating. But then it comes back in a strong wave. Gradually getting stronger until it’s full force vibrating. Harry’s back arches and he moans behind the hand. After ten seconds of the intense vibrating it dwindles down to nothing again. Louis lets it do this four more times until Harry can barely take it. Then he switches it again. It vibrates for ten seconds on the speed set, then pulses five times at the speed above it. Harry nearly cums the first time it happens, but Louis pulls it out and lets it massage only Harry’s rim. Harry feels like crying. He might be crying. 

“I quite like this one. Don’t you?” He’s answered with a wail as the pulsing starts a second time. 

Louis presses the vibrator back in against his prostate. Harry begins struggling. He begins twisting and turning his body and suddenly he’s on his side. It jolts the vibrator against his prostate harder even though Louis has let go to let Harry struggle. He whines and twists. It’s backs on steady vibrating, so with all his might he struggles. He ends up falling forward instead of backwards on his back. He’s now on his front, on his knees with his hands so close to his cock yet so far away, and his face is smushed into the mattress. 

“Oh.” Harry mewls. 

The pillow is positioned between his legs from where it was under his hips. His arse is still thrumming, he thinks maybe he switched it back to steady vibration setting, but then the pulsing starts and he screams into the bed, Louis just watches on as Harry thrusts into the pillow, arse back into the air as the vibrator rubs right against him. He’s making all these soft little noises that get Louis hard, and as he sits back and strokes himself Harry shivers.

“Please touch me.” He begs. Louis snorts.

“Too busy touching myself H. Sorry.” Harry lets out a sob. The vibrator returns to steady vibes. “You look so lovely like that. Maybe I should fuck you like that, all trussed up and with a vibrator right here.” Louis points to the sensitive skin just beneath Harry’s balls. Harry wails, he’s started to cry, and Louis can tell it’s back to pulsing. He happily gives a little push to the vibrator and Harry screams face first into the bed as he cums all over the pillow under him. He slumps into the mattress as bed he can and whimpers when the vibrator clicks over to steady thrums. Louis clicks it back to the lowest speed setting and back to just soft vibes to give Harry a break.

“Good boy, H.” 

“Stop.” Harry whines and kicks his feet. Louis continues his Harry’s next orgasm follows minutes later with Louis sucking him while fucking him with the vibrator at the fifth speed setting. Harry is crying and it’s a little painful, his cock is super sensitive and he says yes when Louis asks him if he wants more lube on the vibe. Louis can tell he’s getting tired, can see him sinking further and further. Louis rolls him back onto his back and stares down at him. Harry is trembling.

“Think you’ve got a fourth in you, Haz?” Harry whimpers and meets Louis’ eyes.

“I can try- I- yes.” Louis smiles. “That’s my boy.”  Louis says and kisses Harry’s cock. Harry groans.

“Hurt?” Louis asks, licking gently. Harry’s hands shake like he wants to grab Louis’ hair, either to push him away or pull him closer. Harry whimpers. “A little.” 

“You sure you can do another one?” Louis asks with concern, eyeing him with such hope that Harry nods. He doesn’t want to let Louis down. He’ll be damned if his dick makes him disappoint Louis. Louis smiles.  

Louis turns the vibrator to the highest setting. Harry’s eyes roll back in his head. It’s really becoming hard for Harry to focus on anything at this point. A steady and strong pressure vibrating against a bundle of nerves that have been stimulated a lot is causing his brain to go blank. Louis actually fucks him on the vibrator this time. His cock fills up and Harry makes small noises. His eyes remain wide eyed and glassy. He stares at the ceiling. He’s under. He can feel it. Everything feels like he’s floating. It’s dark. He’s not used to being this under. It’s quite scary. He bites his lip and closes his eyes. 

He lets out a gush of air as Louis changes it to the setting that gave him his second orgasm. It pulses. Harry shakes and gasps for air. It vibrates. He can’t even relax because the speed is going so fast. His legs are convulsing. It pulses again. Harry finds it hard to breathe. Vibrating. He makes a keening noise. Pulsing. He’s struggling. Vibrating. His mouth can’t seem to function. This isn’t fun anymore. This is terrifying. He feels like he can’t move. Everything is closing in. Pulsing. His stomach rolls, he grits his teeth and waits for the impending orgasm. 

The feeling hits him like a wave. He feels like he’s cumming but it doesn’t feel good. It hurts. A lot. He looks at his cock. It’s barely dribbling cum. He squeezes his eyes shut. The vibrator pulses again inside him and it’s too much. He’s done.

“Red.” He whispers. He’s trying to catch his breath. Louis can’t hear him. Is he even saying anything?  

Louis watches Harry cum. Can see how little he came. Can hear Harry’s sobbing. Can tell something isn’t right. And then he hears it. He hears because it’s the only word coming out of Harry’s mouth and it’s coming out in panic. He’s screaming it over and over.

“RED! RED! RED! PLEASE! STOP! RED! OH GOD RED.” Louis freezes. Oh fuck. Harry’s panicking. Louis’ panicking. “Harry, Harry, sh. It’s okay. I hear you. I hear you baby. Oh god. It’s going to stop.”

Immediately he shuts off the vibrator. He doesn’t bother with undoing Harry’s knots. He grabs the scissors off the side table and cuts through the rope. Harry is still sobbing ‘red’ in soft whimpers. It’s like he’s not even here. Louis keeps talking to him but it’s like Harry can’t even see him. His eyes are spaced out and far away. Harry’s arms fall limply to the bed. His legs spread wantonly when removed from the spreader bar. Louis slips the vibrator out, all but throwing it. Harry has enough energy to curl himself into a ball.

“Red. Red. Red. Please.” Harry whimpers over and over. Louis touches Harry’s cheek, and Harry flinches away from him. Louis starts crying then. He’s broken Harry. His Harry. His baby. Harry has only ever safe worded once. That was when they were first starting out with the BDSM, and Harry got scared about going under completely. That was scary then, but this is Louis’ biggest nightmare coming true.

“Harry, please. Baby, come back to me. I’m here. Please let me hold you.” Louis coaxes. 

Louis holds Harry tight. Harry stops talking. He stops saying ‘red’. He goes silent aside from soft whimpers and sobs. Louis crosses his arms across his chest like he would if he were having a panic attack. Harry sounds wheezy so he administers a dose of his inhaler and then holds him. Harry still sobs silently. Louis just holds him, crying into his curls and begging him to come back to Louis. Ten minutes later, Harry stops crying. He’s sniffling, but he’s not crying. Louis can hear him exhale. He feels him stir. Louis’ heart is pounding out of his chest. 

“H?” Louis whispers. Harry whimpers. “Lou?” He says, confused. 

“I’m here baby. Do you want to turn around?” Louis asks and Harry nods. He slowly turns himself over and looks into Louis’ panicked eyes. Harry begins crying again into Louis’ chest this time, clinging to him like he’s all he’s ever known. Louis just holds him and kisses his forehead.

“Lou.” He whimpers. 

“H, you scared the living shit out of me. You safe worded. You dropped. Baby you pushed me away. Did I hurt you? Did- what happened? What did I do wrong? Oh H, I’m so sorry just please talk to me. You’re terrifying me.”

“I went down… Really down…” He replies to the crook of Louis’ neck. He sniffles. “I got scared. It got so dark. So lonely.” Louis holds him close as if to say ‘I’m here’.

“ Couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t talk. All I could see was a big red flashing light telling me to use my word. I was so scared you couldn’t hear me because I said it and it didn’t stop. It still hurt.” Louis gasps audibly. He feels sick.

“Fuck. I heard you. I promise I stopped as soon as you said ‘red’. You were screaming it. You just kept saying it over and over and sobbing. You… you pushed me away. Flinched… like you were terrified of me.” Harry shivers. Louis pulls the throw blanket on the bed over him. 

“I was scared of myself.” Harry admits. 

“Why didn’t you say yellow?” Louis asks and Harry tenses.

“I couldn’t. Everything was green, so green and then it just went red.” Harry tells him. Louis caresses his sweaty curls. “Was I good? Did I do good? Are you proud of me? Please say I did okay… please- please I don't want to disappoint you please-“ Harry starts working himself up and Louis hushes him with a tender kiss and presses his forehead to his.

“H, you did amazing. So proud of you.” Harry physically relaxes.

“‘M tired.” He says softly. Louis hums.

“Want to have a bath? I’ll hold you close. You can sleep on my chest in there. It’s a big tub. We’ll have a bubble bath. Let me take care of you. You frightened me so badly, H. Never ever do that again. God, I could’ve hurt you so badly. You mean everything to me and to think I- I did that- did this- you’re-“ 

Louis’ supposed to be the rock. He’s supposed to be the strong guy. The Dom. The one to take care of the Sub. Take care of his Harry. The thought of hurting Harry in any way outside of BDSM physically pains him. The BDSM is different. But now the two feel exactly the same. He feels small. He feels weak. He feels lost. He feels RED. He can’t word out of this one. This is real life. Harry cuddles closer to him as he weeps into Harry’s hair.

“Lou, please don’t blame you. Please. I love you. Don’t cry.” Louis sniffles. He nods. He holds Harry close like if he lets him go Harry will run away and forever be afraid of him. 

“Bath?” Harry says hopefully. Louis nods. 

He stands on wobbly legs and when Harry goes to get off the bed he stumbles, nearly face planting. Louis catches him mid-fall and scoops him up in a bridal style carry like he weighs nothing at all. Harry clings like a monkey to him. Louis draws a bath with bubbles and settles Harry in before climbing in himself. Harry spins around and plasters himself to Louis’ chest. His head rests against Louis’ chest, listening to his heart.

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” Harry sighs. Louis’ rubbing his back drawing water and bubbles up his back with each time his hand comes up. Louis kisses his forehead. He says nothing.

“Stop panicking. I’m okay. You’re okay. We’ll be okay. Promise. I’ll always love you.” Harry says each thing a little softer, a little more gravelly, until he presses a kiss to Louis’ chest and slumps against him, completely worn out. 

He’s fast asleep against his chest. His hands hold Louis tight. His breathing is steady and heavy. His hair is covering his eyes. Louis just holds him for the longest time. He watches him sleep. He tells himself that Harry is okay and he’s okay, that this was just a fluke. That it wasn’t meant to happen. But Louis cant help but blame himself. He’s supposed to notice when something isn’t right. Right away. Not when he’s safe wording out. Not when he’s panicking, screaming ‘red’ at the top of his voice. Not when he flinches away from Louis. Not when it’s too late. 

Louis just sits in the tub holding his broken boy with his mind thinking about all he did wrong, all he didn’t notice, all he could’ve done. Somewhere along the way the bubbles die off and the water turns cold and Harry shivers so he washes his hair and carries his boy to bed and wraps him up the the biggest blanket he can find to stop the shivers and just holds him. Cuddles help with aftercare. He prays it can heal whatever damage he’s caused. He goes to sleep with only one thing on his mind, 12 words that he hopes will always be true, even when it seems like the world around him is crumbling. 12 words that mean the world. 12 words that his broken boy will never fail to tell him.

I’m okay. You’re okay. We’ll be okay. Promise. I’ll always love you.

fin.