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The picnic had been Namjoon’s idea.
A celebration, he’d said, a goodbye. Summer was ending and with the changing seasons would come a wave of farewells. Namjoon was travelling abroad to study and Yoongi was heading back to university and Jungkook…
Jungkook was going home. Back to the city where he belonged.
But did he really belong? What was home to him now? Six weeks ago he would have said home was where he lived, in the city, surrounded by strangers and skyscrapers and exhaust fumes. Six weeks ago he hadn’t known that home could be more than just a building, that it could be a feeling, a person. Maybe home could be more than one thing, he thought to himself as he glanced around at his friends.
Jungkook wanted to preserve this moment, to take a snapshot and live in it forever. Jimin weaving daisy stems together with the utmost care and concentration and Yoongi throwing berries for Namjoon to catch between his teeth and Taehyung. He'd never looked more stunning than he did framed by the clear blue sky, sunlight glistening through his eyelashes and smattering across his cheeks and slipping down his throat like liquid gold.
Jungkook wanted to kiss him.
Taehyung caught his gaze, a soft smile curving his lips, “you okay?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook smiled back, “I’m fine.”
**
When he’d first arrived in the village it had been with dread in his heart and reluctance in his every step. Being plucked from his home and thrown into the middle of nowhere to stay with a grandmother he could barely remember felt like a punishment despite his mother’s insistence that it wasn’t. No internet, no friends, no TV. It sounded like a prison.
It was not a prison.
It was a cottage, tiny windows poking holes in the stone walls and a bright red door peeling in the sunlight. He had itched to take a photo, to capture the flowers that hemmed the front doorstep or the ivy crawling along the wall, but his mother's warning glance had been enough to quell those urges. His grandma had greeted them at the gate, gentle smile lines creasing a face he recognised from photos of his childhood, vague recollections of hugs and gifts and kisses smeared across his cheeks.
"You've gotten so tall," she’d beamed, weathered hands tugging him closer, "You must have eaten all your greens."
He didn't have the heart to tell her that he hadn't.
His stubbornness had quickly faded into fascination as he’d explored the cottage and garden. His grandmother’s home was so far removed from everything he’d grown up surrounded by, it felt like he was existing in a world turned inside out; street lamps replaced by trees, cows instead of cars, a healing tea in a ceramic mug thrust into his hands rather than a paper cup full of coffee.
“You’re going to like it here,” his ahjumma had said knowingly.
He hadn’t been so sure. It all felt a little surreal, like he was trapped in a daydream rather than a real place.
And then he had met Taehyung. The baker’s son with a smile bright enough to rival the sun and a heart warmer than the loaves fresh out of the oven. A fairytale protagonist breathed into life that introduced Jungkook to a whole new world, a world of hiking adventures and foraging berries and days in the sun.
Looking at him now, his breath still caught in his throat the same way it had when he’d first laid eyes on him. The same handsome face and warm eyes framed with pretty lashes. But now there was more, so much more that he noticed. The rumble of a laugh making its way up his throat and the furrow between his brow as he decorated a cake and the feeling of his warm palm curling around his own.
“Hey Jungkook,” Yoongi called, “see if you can catch.”
He was torn from his daydreams as a blackberry came hurtling his way, head ducking instantly to catch it between his teeth, the soft flesh exploding into sweetness on his tongue. Cheers and applause burst from his friends, cries of “again!” filling the air and Jungkook relented into entertaining them for the next few minutes, until the berries ran empty and they all lay splayed across the picnic blanket, soaking up the sounds of nature and ignoring the inevitability of the sun’s path across the sky.
**
The first night, Jungkook had sat on the floral bedspread of his grandmother’s spare bed, elbows propped on the windowsill as white lace curtains brushed over his shoulders. There were no sounds of traffic, no yellow lights dulling the sky, no concrete beyond the window. Instead, there was the hushed whisper of wind through leaves, an inky black sky pierced with stars and rolls of grass descending into a collection of trees. His fingers had itched for his camera, to steal the view and compress it into pixels and paste it on shiny paper, frame it in glass and hang it on a wall. But he couldn’t bring himself to move, eyes drinking up the sight of the moonlight soaked landscape.
Over the summer, Jungkook had learnt that some things couldn’t be photographed. No matter how much he longed to preserve it in ink, no lens could capture the utter emotion that came with each moment, the joy of seeing a duckling hatch or the nerves of learning to ride a bike or the euphoria that filled his chest when Taehyung complimented his first loaf of bread.
“What do you study?” Taehyung had asked one day, as they’d sipped tea waiting for their cakes to bake.
“Photography,” he’d replied.
“Why?”
Jungkook had been thrown by the question, “why what?”
“Why do you study photography?”
“Uh,” Jungkook chewed on his lip, putting his cup down, “because I like it? I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it.”
Taehyung hummed thoughtfully, “you smile whenever you talk about it, you know. If you ever figure it out, I’d be interested to hear your answer.”
Jungkook had stood agape as Taehyung had disappeared to check on their bakes, mind reeling.
**
“Let’s take a photograph,” Jungkook announced, when the final crumbs were cleared from their plates and the lemonade was beginning to dwindle, “we haven’t taken a single photograph all summer and my hyungs aren’t gonna believe you’re all real without proof.”
“Maybe we’re not real,” Jimin said seriously, eyes wide and serious, “maybe we’re all figments of your imagination and when you show them the photograph you’ll realise it’s completely blank.”
“Don’t mess with him like that,” Taehyung shoved him playfully, “how do you want us to pose Jungkookie?”
Jungkook felt a flutter in his chest at the nickname, “I guess just all squish into the middle? I don’t want to accidentally chop anyone out of the frame.”
“You better send me this photo when you upload it,” Namjoon said, shuffling over to tug Yoongi and Jimin into his sides.
Jungkook balanced the camera on a nearby branch, the lens angled to capture them all, before running back and throwing an arm around Taehyung before the shutter clicked.
“How does it look?”
“Were we all in it?”
“I told you, none of us will be in it, we're all figments of Jungkook’s ima- ow !”
“Stop teasing him!” Taehyung pinched Jimin’s waist again, the elder shrieking and shuffling to hide on the other side of Namjoon.
“It looks good!” Jungkook announced, zooming in on the photo. It really did, the lighting was perfect, the trees a beautiful backdrop and the five smiling faces staring from the screen seemed to glow with happiness. Several heads surrounded his space, everyone wanting to see the photograph and general sounds of approval filled the air. Jungkook waited until only Taehyung lingered, hands on his shoulders and breath cascading over his ear, skin burning with his proximity.
“I have my answer,” Jungkook said softly. Taehyung hummed questioningly as Jungkook flicked through the photographs saved to his memory card, a couple of flowers, a closeup of a bee, then further back, to photographs of Hoseok and Seokjin posing exaggeratedly, to Hoseok performing onstage or the back of Seokjin’s figure as he walked through the snow. Taehyung leaned closer, cheek brushing his and Jungkook fought the urge to shiver at the featherlight contact.
“Why I chose photography,” Jungkook murmured, staring down at the very first photo on the camera, “because everyone sees the world through their own lens. I could look at this tree, and focus on the leaves, but someone else might focus on the lichen or a ladybird crawling the trunk or a squirrel sitting on a branch. We can all look at the same thing and see something different and I… I wanted to show people what I see. From my angle, my perspective. And I love getting to share that with people, getting to tell a whole story from one single snapshot.”
“What’s the story behind this?” Taehyung whispered, looking down at the photograph he’d landed on. It was one of his two hyungs curled up on the sofa, Hoseok fast asleep as Seokjin glanced down at him with a gentle reverence that made Jungkook’s heart ache.
“Ah, that was when they were being idiots,” he chuckled, “Hobi hyung was head over heels for Jin hyung but he didn’t believe that Jin hyung could ever like him back. I kept trying to convince him that Jin hyung really did like him, because I could see it, you know? I could see how much they adored each other.”
“They’re not idiots anymore?”
“Oh, no,” Jungkook showed him another picture, one where his two friends were holding hands and smiling at one another obliviously, “they finally got around to being a disgusting couple.”
Taehyung sighed softly, “you must be excited to see them again when you go back.”
“Yeah,” Jungkook murmured, pushing down the cold feeling in his stomach at the prospect of his return to the city. As much as he missed Hoseok and Seokjin, a small part of him just wanted to exist in this blissful fantasy for a while longer.
**
Night came all too fast.
Jungkook couldn’t sleep, knees to his chin on the edge of the blanket as he stared up at the stars. He didn’t want summer to end, for this life he was living so happily to fade into memory, a flimsy fantasy in the face of cold steel and glass and concrete. In the city, everything was always on the move, always thinking about the next class, the next shift, the next meal, the next day… Somehow, everything here was slowed down, the usual rush replaced by endless hours of calm productivity. Jungkook had never felt so present in his own skin. He didn’t want to lose that feeling.
Who knew that he’d fall in love with plucking fresh fruits for his grandmother’s homemade jams and bike rides with Namjoon and caring for the ducklings with Yoongi and learning the names of flowers with Jimin. Who knew that he’d fall in love with this wonderful place and these beautiful people and this whimsical life.
Who knew that he’d fall for a boy who epitomised summer.
He just wanted to pretend that September wasn't looming on the horizon with the cresting sun, that cold winds weren't threatening to cut through the fragile happiness warming his chest.
That Taehyung hadn’t been glancing at him with an indecipherable look in his eyes all day.
**
“You like him, don’t you?” Yoongi had a habit of being blunt, but Jungkook hadn’t expected the question he’d seemingly plucked from thin air.
“What?” He blinked, hand freezing in Holly’s fur.
“Taehyung,” Yoongi popped a berry into his mouth and raised an eyebrow, “you like him right?”
Jungkook flushed, looking away.
“Are you gonna ask him out?”
“I don’t think so,” Jungkook muttered, rubbing his cheek against his shoulder, “I mean, I’m going back to the city in September. Asking him out might not be a good idea, you know?”
Yoongi shrugged, “whatever you think is best. But if you like him you should tell him at least. It’s better not to let feelings fester or you’ll end up dancing around the subject for four years until one of you accidentally drunk confesses at 3am and you both end up crying and making out.”
“That sounds like a very specific example.”
“Whatever,” Yoongi rolled his eyes, “c’mon, I’ll make you lunch.”
“Is that what happened with you and Namj-”
“Say one more word and I’ll tell Taehyung you ate the last strawberries.”
“...Lunch sounds great Yoongi hyung.”
**
The sunrise was beautiful, smears of watercolour studded with the black silhouettes of trees. Birds sang from the branches, fluttering to and fro, their calls punctuated only by the snores of the three figures curled together on the picnic blanket. Jungkook smiled fondly at the sight before turning to find Taehyung some distance away, eyes on the sky as a gentle breeze ruffled the daisy chain adorning his hair. Jungkook brushed the grass from his knees and walked over to sit beside him.
“What are you doing all the way over here?”
“Ah,” Taehyung glanced back at the sleeping trio, “I didn’t want to disturb them.”
Jungkook hummed, settling into silence. Taehyung was warm and solid next to him.
“Why won’t you kiss me?”
Jungkook froze, jaw agape. Had he heard that right? Had he imagined it? No, because Taehyung was looking at him, expression equal parts nervous and expectant.
Every single word vanished from Jungkook’s mind. Every suave comment or sweet compliment or gentle rejection, every scenario he’d spent hours conjuring up, all felled in the presence of the real world.
“I’m sorry I must have misread you, I’m so sorr-”
“No!” Jungkook flapped his hands, “no no, you didn’t I mean, I do, I do want to, I like you! I’ve been wanting to ask you out all summer! Of course I want to kiss you!”
Taehyung stared, “You’ve been wanting to ask me out all summer?”
“Yoongi hyung told me not to!”
“I did not!”
“Stop eavesdropping!”
“I can’t believe this,” Taehyung whispered, burying his head in his hands, “I didn’t want to ask you in case it made you uncomfortable, because you’re new around here and I didn’t want you to feel alienated if you didn’t feel the same! But you’re telling me this whole time…”
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook whispered, feeling like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re such a fool Jeon Jungkook,” Taehyung huffed softly, “such a lovely sweet ridiculous fool.”
“I’m sorry?” he mumbled again.
“Stop apologising,” Taehyung grabbed his shoulders softly, “and kiss me you fool.”
Jungkook’s eyes blew wide, staring at Taehyung who just giggled, leaning closer.
Oh. This was real.
Taehyung's lips were softer than the petals of a rose and the liquid gold that simmered in Jungkook's stomach whenever Taehyung was near threaded through his veins as he tipped his head. He felt light, drunk, hysterically euphoric and he broke from the kiss with a bubble of laughter.
"I can't believe we just did that," Jungkook pressed his hands to his face, his cheeks hot, hot, hot.
Taehyung's smile was endeared, "We can do it again if you like."
There was nothing he would have liked more. How many hours had he imagined this moment? How many nights had he laid awake in bed, fantasising about where and when, how it would feel, what he would say? His daydreams could never have compared to the reality, the elation, the feeling of touching paradise.
"I…" Jungkook blinked up at the sky, reality slowly seeping in around the edges of his bliss, "I'm leaving today."
Taehyung nodded slowly, face settling into a serious expression, "I know."
"I'm going back to the city and…" he sucked in a harsh breath at the feeling of tears prickling the back of his eyes, "I don't know when I'll be able to come back."
"Oh sweetheart," Taehyung shuffled closer, brushing a strand of hair from his face, "Is that what you've been worried about? We don't have to do anything you're not ready for."
"I want to ask you out," Jungkook took his hand gently, "I want to take you on bike rides and go on picnics and kiss you under the stars. But I can't and I don't know what to do about it."
Taehyung lifted their entwined palms to his lips and pecked Jungkook's knuckled softly, "there's no rush. We can still be friends, when you go back, we can text and call. And if by next summer you still want this, if you still want me, then we can go for picnics and bike rides and kiss under the stars. There's no pressure for us to do or be anything, let's just… take every day as it comes, hm?"
Jungkook wiped under his eyes, "I'm gonna miss you. So so much."
"I'm miss you too, Jungkookie. So so much."
**
"He's just perfect, hyungs," Jungkook sighed, sinking back onto the couch, "the entire time was perfect."
He'd gone straight to Seokjin's apartment as soon as he arrived back in the city, fit to burst with all the stories he wanted to tell his friends. He'd been tackled into a hug before he could walk through the door, familiar and warm.
"We missed you so much," Hoseok pouted exaggeratedly, "But it sounds like you didn't miss us at all. Jinnie hyung I think Jungkook has replaced us!"
"Oh no we can't have that," Seokjin winked at Jungkook playfully, "Maybe we'll have to come meet these new friends of yours to weigh up the competition."
"Oh haha," Jungkook stuffed a chip into his mouth, "there's no competition, I love you all equally."
"We're serious," Jin patted his knee, "if you'd let us, we'd really like to come sometime. Maybe next time you visit?"
"Wait, you guys want to come?" Jungkook blinked, looking across at Hobi who nodded.
"You've been talking about it all so much… We kinda wanna see what it's like. It would be nice to take a break, go somewhere just to breathe you know?"
"Oh my god yes!" Jungkook beamed, sitting up immediately, "I asked ahjumma about going back next summer and she said I was welcome, I would love if you guys could come too!"
"Really?" Hobi's eyes crinkled into a smile, "I'm actually excited, I want to learn to ride a bike too."
"And bake fresh bread," Jin chipped in, "I can never get it right."
"And meet Taehyung," Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows, "we have to give him a grilling, see if he's good enough for our little Jungkookie."
"Don't you dare," Jungkook warned, but they just squished his cheeks, teasing him until their bellies all hurt from laughter.
That night, curled in bed, Jungkook found himself staring at his lockscreen, five smiling faces staring back at him. One in particular drew his gaze, crinkled eyes and pretty lashes and perfect white teeth on display.
He couldn't wait for summer to come again.