Chapter Text
“Just because there is a bloody pandemic in the rest of the world doesn’t mean it will affect me. Now, if you’ll excuse me-”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Fury shouts and leans with his hands on the metallic table.
“But it doesn’t affect me,” Loki pouts. How fair is this, for him to stay locked up somewhere with someone he doesn’t even know, just because there is a mortal fear of getting infected with something named COVID-19, that he surely won’t pick up along the way. He’s above this mortals, he’s convinced of it, and their own stupidity is chasing after him, only because he’s got to be stuck on Midgard till his punishment is over (of course, it’s important to mention that Loki didn’t like any of trial consequences he’d suffered through, one of them including a year spent on Earth). So far, he was doing great; okay, maybe ‘great’ isn’t a word somebody would use to describe the god’s feelings and state, which was often frantic about silliest little things he found himself unwilling to do, but yet somehow forced (just Hulk’s name would be alone enough for him to contrite). And now, five more months to go, he was informed of S.H.I.E.L.D’s decision to pair him up with someone in one of the company’s apartments intended for their workers.
And his grave fear might be staying with anyone out of six members of the Avengers.
“How do you know? You think I find this shit funny? I have to keep away all my workers for two to four months and maybe even longer because no one know what’s gonna happen.”
“And who I’m supposed to be with for those two to four, maybe even longer months?”
“If you misbehave and turn a blind eye to my orders, I might reconsider Hill’s suggestion of putting you up with Dr. Banner. His other side’s gonna like it, don’t doubt,” Fury gives away a small, bad bitch smirk, to show Loki how he’s not one percent repulsed about making his life here even more nightmarish.
Loki can only gulp visibly. “That… I would not recommend.”
“Then you’ve got to listen,” Fury puts a point to it. “And if your majesty allows it,” (Fury didn’t give a damn if Loki allows it or not), “I’d like to introduce you to our agent Martin. Call the agent in,” he says in his earpiece.
Loki’s a bit stunned. They’ll join him up with a guy? I mean, he’s got nothing against mortal guys, only that… They are mostly boring. Or too much into sports. (He doesn’t want to spend his quarantine days – if he’s already got to spend them – with some guy who would be more suitable for Thor. But it came to his mind that many of people here already dismissed him as ‘prone to stereotypes’, ‘big ego problem’, ‘random pitches of emotions that go fly somewhere through the window’ etc. No, he’s really not liked here). Not to mention that Midgardian men are usually very untidy and disorganized. He cannot spend months living in untidy and disorganized terms.
“Here, agent Martin at your service,” Fury interrupts his thought process. If he had a spear, he’d kill him, for sure. Or at least knock him into unconscious. “You have five minutes to meet. In the meantime, I’ll tell them to start the preparations. You two are about to be transferred today.”
So agent Martin is actually a girl. Loki doesn’t know which is worse.
Maybe he needs to be alone, all by himself, like that popular song suggests (and which, weirdly, everyone around here loves).
“Wait,” he says and leans forward. “I remember you.”
The girl smiles. “Is that your way of telling me you don’t wanna bother with knowing my name or?”
“No, what I truly mean is that I remember you from somewhere.”
“Well, then it must be from somewhere around here,” she states. “I never leave this place.”
“Never?”
“Basically never," she responds. “And my name is Freyja Martin.”
His face drains from colour. “I don’t like that name.”
“Pfft,” she exclaims unsettled. “That’s amazingly not nice. And I am amazingly not surprised. You don’t like anything here. Or anyone.”
“That’s not entirely true-”
“Or people’s names. Wow, I’m sorry. Do you want me to change my name? How about we change yours? I’ll call you Patrick.”
“For gods, no. Just calm down. And sit. Look, here,” he offers her a seat next to him. She gives him one look and sits across the room. He sighs. “Or there.”
She pulls out her badge. Loki's eyes caught on it, she notices.
"Well then," she starts first, breaking the silence which was not at all uncomfortable. "Wanna start with that part of remembering me? Or why is my name so disliked by you?"
"I'd rather just clarify the first question," he replies, and the tone of his voice sounds tired. She's heard he's having a hard time here.
"All right. You probably remember me because you were in the OCNR. And I was there to clear issues with some papers on... my next job. While you were being signed in for the program, you caught my eye."
Loki smirks confidently. "I caught your eye now, um?"
"Not like that," she smirks back and moves forward, not breaking eye contact with him. "But everyone's heard of a man crashing the Earth with his two golden horns. It's quite unforgettable performance."
"A god, not a man. God," he emphasizes. "And what the Hell is OCNR?"
"Office for the Criminal Naming and Routing," she replies instantly. Loki might come to think she's a damn robot. "There S.H.I.E.L.D sends criminals who are a part of the program which, as you may know it, serves as a redemption deal for the... in your case, gods who temporarily damaged some parts of Earth. You fucked up New York, that's evident. And now you've got to live with us for approximately how much?"
"One year," he says bitterly.
"One year it is," she nods. "And that's it. Nothing fancy."
"And now I'll spend some time with you, as it seems. Do you know anything about that?"
"I know only that no one was particularly keen on sharing an apartment with you."
"Why yes, there seem to be problems in communication," Loki says.
"Or you're just so terrifying to other workers I've come in contact with," she gets it back at him.
"And you're not terrified?"
"No. I just think I'm going to make your life worse."
"Why'd you say that?"
"You'll see with time. Which," she looks at her watch, "we don't have enough. We have one minute and 45 seconds left to fill the conversation."
"And yet we discussed nothing of what is our shared lifestyle going to look like."
"Ah, technicalities," she waves her hand. "We're going to learn a step by step."
Loki stares at her, watching her intently. She knows this is just him being equally amused as intrigued.
"So what do you do for S.H.I.E.L.D?”
“I’m a reverse necromancer,” she replies simply while playing with her badge.
Loki’s brows furrow. “Isn’t that just killing people?”
She looks right at him. “Ah, technicality.”
Loki smiles. He’s going to love this. Oh boy, is he going to enjoy next few months.