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“I’m going to the vending machine,” Xiao said to Zhongli. His father only hummed in response.
Xiao closed the hospital room door and walked down the hallway. The dismal atmosphere didn’t fade as he left his mother’s room behind. Xiao could avoid the sight all he wanted but that didn’t change the fact that Guizhong’s life was fading. Xiao ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
Everything had started to feel numb around the time she fell ill. His father was no longer the same, and his sister rarely talked.
The doctors said it was unlikely to become active, why is she sick now? Four of Xiao’s siblings had lost their lives to the same disease, but they were young. His mother should’ve been safe. Why am I healthy? Someone else should’ve taken my place.
Xiao reached the vending machine in the hospital lobby and pulled out money from his pocket. Xiao looked next to him and saw a small, slim woman.
“I’m sorry,” Xiao mumbled.
“No, no! Don’t apologize.” She stepped back.
“Ok, what do you want? I’ll buy it for you.”
She looked at him in surprise. “Just water please.”
Xiao got a soda for himself, why water? He handed her the bottle.
“I didn’t expect you to like sweet stuff like that,” she commented.
“Oh, it’s ok I guess. I can barely taste it.”
She eyed him with concern. “Are you ok?” She asked.
“What?” Xiao absentmindedly said.
“Never mind. Thanks for buying this,” she turned to leave the hospital.
“Wait, what’s your name?” Xiao asked. He didn’t know why he asked, yet he waited for her answer like his life depended on it.
“It’s Keqing,” she replied before leaving.
Keqing looked at the sidewalk as she walked home. His eyes looked so empty, she thought. All worries from her health scare caused by overworking her weak heart were temporarily forgotten. She had realized that she didn’t ask for his name yet she told him hers.
I don’t know why but he looked like he needed to know it, Keqing justified. Doesn’t matter, I doubt I’ll see him again .
Keqing stopped, her body was still recovering. She should’ve called a taxi to begin with.
---
Keqing and her secretary, Ganyu, had scheduled a dinner together. It was a reward of sorts for completing their work and Keqing’s recovery. Keqing spotted the guy from the hospital sitting on a couch in the lobby of her office.
“Xiao, why are you here?” Ganyu asked. Xiao glanced at Keqing but shifted his attention back to Ganyu.
“The hospital staff wanted to talk to dad so I’m here to pick you up.”
“Why? Is mom ok?” Ganyu’s face scrunched up with worry.
“I don’t know what it was about, I left before I heard anything. He’ll probably tell us later.”
Keqing awkwardly looked to the side. She knew this wasn’t a conversation she should overhear.
Ganyu shook her head and gestured to Keqing. “This is my coworker, Keqing. She’ll be having dinner with me tonight.”
Xiao didn’t say a word and led the two to the car or when he was driving the women to the restaurant.
Ganyu broke the silence. “Um, Xiao? Have you had dinner yet? If not, you can join us.” She was worried for him. Ganyu hadn’t seen Xiao eat much since Guizhong was hospitalized. She knew he was skipping meals and whatever he did eat wasn't healthy.
“If you insist,” was his lame reply. Xiao didn’t seem too excited and he wasn’t. Foods of all kinds tasted dull to him when the rest of their family wasn’t there.
Keqing wondered if the siblings had a fight or if this was just their normal.
“Keqing. Table for three, please,” Keqing said.
“I thought you reserved two seats?”
“Yes, but we have an unexpected guest.”
“Alright, no problem.” The waitress sat the group down and left them the menu.
“You ate more today than you usually do,” Ganyu said happily.
Xiao looked as if she had no idea what she was saying.
“I didn’t notice, I must’ve been absent minded the whole dinner. Something about Keqing, I don’t know why but I feel at ease around her.”
Ganyu decided to take the chance, if it would help Xiao, she would do it.
“Keqing, may I speak with you?” Ganyu pulled Keqing aside.
“Well?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“Yes?”
“Can you please eat with my brother?” Ganyu looked at Keqing’s confused expression. “Please, I’m really concerned for him. He doesn’t take care of himself anymore. Today was the only time I’ve seen him eat more than a few bites.”
Keqing crossed her arms across her chest. “Isn’t it an irresponsible idea to have your brother rely on someone else? What if the one he relies on is no longer able to help him?”
Ganyu bit her lip. “I- I’m sorry. I overstepped. I know our family situation is none of your concern and that you have other things to do with your time.”
Keqing sighed and pressed her hand to her forehead. “Alright, as long as it’s just dinner. I think I can at least spare that much time.” Keqing pulled back at the sight of Ganyu’s shining expression.
“Thank you Keqing! Thank you so much!”
Keqing awkwardly fiddled with her hair, well if it means so much to Ganyu… I guess it’s not bad to maintain good relationships with your coworkers .
“So your name is Xiao?”
“Yes.” His reply was short.
“Nice to meet you,” Keqing formally introduced herself. “Do you have a phone?”
Xiao pulled out one from his pocket. Keqing took his phone and added herself as a contact.
“Your sister wanted us to eat dinner together. This will help us communicate.”
Xiao took his phone back. A half smile appeared on his face. “Look this way.” He took a picture of Keqing’s surprised face.
“Why did you do that?”
“For your contact image,” he replied.
“In that case...” Keqing took one of Xiao.
---
They ate together from then on. Xiao always paid for both of them. Keqing had asked him what his job was. His reply was cryptic, stating that he was some type of night guard that paid well because of its high-risk nature.
“Call me for our dinner,” Keqing waved goodbye.
“Keqing,” Xiao hesitantly said, “what if, what if I wanted to call or text you for no reason in particular.”
Keqing’s expression didn’t change as she thought. They had been eating together for a few months now. She supposed she thought of Xiao as a friend.
“Then I’ll reply, of course.”
Soon, they would text and call often as well as spend time with each other besides dinner.
Keqing didn’t mention her weak heart to him, she just never found the right time. She did know that Xiao couldn’t depend on her forever, he needed to have a will to live without her. She tried to give him a push towards that.
“Xiao, look at this flower.” Keqing pointed to a dandelion growing out of the sidewalk next to the road.
He stopped to gaze at the plant, “Keqing, that’s a weed.”
She laughed at him and Xiao’s confusion wrote itself across his face. He didn’t say anything wrong.
“People might call it a weed but it’s resiliently clinging on to life even though its environment isn’t good. Be it in the crevices of roads in a city or in distant rainforests, plants manage to live and even produce a flower.”
Xiao eyed the small yellow flower, “but, it’s always the insignificant ones who are so resilient. The flowers people care more for can sometimes be so delicate that even changing the temperature hurts them. That’s just how it is, with plants, and with people as well.”
“What kind of flower do you think you are?”
“A weed,” Xiao said without hesitation.
Keqing frowned, does he think he’s insignificant? She wondered if Xiao saw himself as someone less deserving of
“Do you wish to take their place?” Keqing quickly covered her mouth, “sorry, that was insensitive of me.”
Xiao exhaled, “sometimes I do. Especially for my mother, if only I could’ve been the one terminally ill. But other times, I wish to live and stay in the moment forever.”
Keqing grabbed Xiao’s arm and pulled him to sit on the edge of a flower bed, the butterflies fluttering around them.
“Look at the camera,” Keqing texted the photo to Xiao. “That’s how a moment can last forever.”
Xiao stared at the photo for a while. It really was a beautiful photo.
I’ll set this as my phone background .
His coworkers asked him about it later.
“Xiao, who’s that?” Venti asked. Aether and Kazuha leaned over to look at Xiao’s screen.
“Is she your girlfriend?” Aether asked.
“She’s Keqing,” Xiao got up from the bench to answer her call.
Somewhere along the way, she had started calling him as well.
---
“Your mother wanted to see me?” Keqing asked. She followed Xiao and Ganyu to the hospital room.
Guizhong, though on her deathbed, gave her children a smile.
“You must be Keqing. My children talked about you a lot.”
Keqing looked at Xiao and Ganyu, “they did?”
“Yes, in fact so much that I wanted to meet you before my time was up.”
“That’s an honor,” Keqing responded. She stepped closer to the bed when Guizhong gestured for her. Keqing leaned down.
“Thank you for being in their lives,” Guizhong whispered.
“It’s my pleasure.”
Keqing left the hospital room for her own appointment. The doctor performed several tests.
“Miss?” Keqing turned her attention to the doctor. “You need to be careful, your heart has gained too much stress and is weakening. It is possible to get a transplant but you’ll have to wait for a possible donor. As of now, it’s estimated that you only have a month left of being active.”
Keqing nodded, “I understand. I would like to be added to the waiting list.” She wanted a do over, a life reset.
Xiao was waiting for her silently.
“You were waiting for me?” Keqing looked at his blank face. If he had known I was born with a weak heart, would he want to take my place?
“I had to get out of there,” he whispered. “I don’t want to hear my father cry anymore.”
Keqing’s heart dropped, “did something happen?”
“My mother passed away.”
Keqing’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Guizhong looked at peace when she died. Keqing gazed at the woman’s calm expression. Only a few hours ago, she was alive and speaking to Keqing.
“She must’ve reunited with my siblings on the other side,” Xiao commented, breaking the silence between the two.
“Do you want to join them as well?”
Xiao looked at Keqing’s hands that were clasped around his own. Sadness was all that glimmered in her eyes.
“Xiao, if you look at life as your journey and the other side as the destination, your mother and siblings just got there faster. People like you and I, we just got lost along the way— taken detours, got distracted, straying from the path, but we’ll always reach the other side. You might find footprints that will guide you to the right place but in the meantime, take the opportunity to appreciate the blooms around you. It’s ok to get lost.”
Keqing felt his arms wrap around her.
“What if they won’t put up with that?”
Keqing returned his hug, “they will. They’ll wait for you to find the way home, back to them.”
---
“Keqing, can you meet me somewhere tomorrow?”
“Of course! Where are you thinking of?”
“Maybe that hill in the park beside the lake?”
“Alright, around 2 in the afternoon works for me.”
He awaited her arrival on the hill. Xiao was prepared for the possibility of rejection to some degree. Their current relationship was plenty for him. He had to settle his feelings one way or another.
He saw her from the top of the hill. Keqing walked to the top of the hill.
“I’m here,” Keqing gasped, short of breath.
Xiao waited, “I have something to tell you.”
Keqing glanced nervously at the lake beside them. She wondered if he intended on ending his life that day. She knew she wasn’t physically strong enough to stop him if he tried.
“Keqing, I love you.”
Keqing’s face blanked. She wasn’t expecting that to come out of his mouth.
“You’ve stolen my heart, so I was wondering if you’d give me yours in return?”
Keqing clenched her hand over her fluttering heart, these palpitations are surely unhealthy.
“I’m… not sure you would want my heart.” Keqing knew Xiao was still ignorant of her condition but that was entirely her fault. “I’m sorry but, I can’t take yours either.”
“Why? What did I do to make you think that way?” He asked.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, the fault lies entirely with me. But you wouldn’t want that kind of relationship with me.”
Xiao shook his head, “you always tell me to keep living even though I’m not worthy of this life. What would make you think that I wouldn’t love you or want that bond with you? I don’t want to hear you doubting your worth. I want to be on this journey with you, Keqing.”
Keqing hesitantly reached out to hold his extended hand. She knew the chances of finding a donor in time was low and that her life most likely would end.
Is it ok to be selfish? To experience this joy with him then leave him all alone? Maybe .
---
Their happiness was fleeting but Keqing enjoyed every second of it regardless.
Keqing swiped through the photos on her phone as she sat in bed. She hoped that if she wasn’t alive in the future, Xiao would look back on them to remember her.
Lately, she found it hard to move around for any period of time. Xiao visited whenever he could. He was aware of her condition and wanted to spend every moment he could with her.
“I feel guilty, making you take care of me like this,” Keqing confessed.
“No one is making me do anything. Besides, between my family and you, I’m an expert at this.”
Xiao finished cleaning the bed. He picked up Keqing from the chair, placed her on the bed and pulled up the blanket.
“Then please continue to take good care of me.”
Xiao observed Keqing’s face, it appeared calm— as calm as the expression on Guizhong’s face the day she died.
“We’ve put her in a medically induced coma to reduce the amount of energy she needs. She might live for a while longer like this, but if we can’t find a donor, she’ll die in the long run.”
“Alright, thank you.” Xiao wanted to know whether he was a match for Keqing so he got a test.
When he read the results, he let out a chuckle. They were a match.
Xiao couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t an accident, that she showed up in his life when he needed her the most and that he was here when she needed him the most.
Now, his heart no longer needed to yearn to take the pain away from others. He could actually help.
Zhongli sat across from Xiao, “what are you planning to do with that information?”
“I’m sorry, father,” he responded, “but I want to do this.”
Ganyu gazed at him with understanding and regret. She knew that Xiao was doing what he wanted so she didn’t try to stop him.
Zhongli stared at his son, “you love her, don’t you? So much so that you would give her your heart and soul.”
Xiao laughed softly, “this really isn’t the time for dad jokes.”
Zhongli chuckled, “I can’t help it. If I could’ve saved your mother, I would have done so without hesitation. Let me say this at least, I’m proud of you, Xiao.”
Xiao arranged for his heart to be transplanted into Keqing. He left her a voice message knowing that he would never speak to her directly again.
Xiao caressed her cheek, when you wake up, you’ll be healthy. He leaned down to kiss her on the forehead for the last time.
“I’m ready, doctor.”
---
Keqing blinked, her eyelids felt heavy— like she hadn’t been awake for a while. She was lying in a hospital bed. Judging by the moonlight coming in from the window, it was night. She slowly got up to stretch, her heart felt particularly strong. The nurse who was attending her left the room and came back with a doctor.
“Miss Keqing?”
“Yes?”
“You’ve received a new heart. A donor appeared and we were able to successfully transplant the heart in your body.”
Keqing smiled, “that’s great news. Thank you, doctor.”
“Rest, your body is still recovering.” The two left the room, letting Keqing rest peacefully.
The operation was successful! No wonder my heart felt so strong today, I should tell Xiao the good news. He should be awake right now.
Keqing picked up her phone and turned it on. She dialed Xiao’s number.
“The number you are trying to reach is out of service.”
Keqing frowned, time to check her voice messages then texts. This one is from DELETED?
Keqing pressed play and was surprised to hear Xiao’s voice.
“To my beloved Keqing, they’re so many things I want to say to you but let me say congratulations for your new heart first.
I’m sorry I can’t tell you that in person but I’ve found the footprints so to speak. I didn’t inform you about this, sorry about this as well.
I don’t want my heart back, it was yours for a while now. Take care of it for me, alright? I promise to take care of yours.
Take as many detours as you can Keqing, this is your chance to do everything you couldn’t do before. And, when you finally reach the other side, I’ll be here to welcome you home.
Sincerely, and yours for eternity, Xiao.”
Keqing let her tears fall on her sheets. She clutched her phone to her chest as she bent over to rest her head on the sheets.
I should be happy, excited that I was given this chance. But then… why is my chest so heavy? Why did I have to go earnestly yearning for a redo? Was my life not good enough? If I hadn’t been so selfish, would you still be alive?
Keqing’s hands shook as she swiped through her photos.
Xiao had sent her the photos of them together. Ones she knew like her own mind, ones she’s never seen before, and ones she’ll never forget.
I originally thought that photos would’ve been a good souvenir for Xiao once I’ve passed… but I wish we took so many more.
The moon stood alone in a night sky without even stars to keep it company.
Why did you have to leave me in the dark? Keqing bit back a sob but could do nothing to stop the flow of tears. Xiao, why did you have to go and leave me all alone?! Why…? When you were the one who wanted to traverse this path together?
As much as it hurt, Keqing knew she couldn’t let this second chance slip by. She had received her new heart as a precious gift from Xiao. She had to live her life to its full potential.
---
Xiao slowly opened his eyes and found himself in a grove of flowering trees whose blossoms bloomed with every second. He could see Guizhong and his siblings approaching him.
Xiao looked around and was relieved that he couldn’t see Keqing. Xiao lightly brushed over his fluttering heart— which was so light it felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest.
“Good, it must’ve been successful,” he whispered.
It would be many years yet before they would meet again, Xiao knew this.
So for now, he would reunite with his family. Until the trees had bloomed countless times, counting down the seconds until he could see her again.
---
Keqing’s heartbeats were so heavy that she was afraid it would hurt her chest. Will he be waiting for me like he said he would? She wished their long awaited reunion would be everything she had hoped for.
Petals flew around her, falling down from the nearby flowering trees. She saw a familiar figure in the distance. Xiao…
Her old body scrambled towards the figure, reverting back into its prime to reach him sooner.
“Xiao! Xiao!”
The man who had been waiting for the blossoms to announce her arrival turned around and gave her a warm smile.
“Welcome home, Keqing.”
Keqing almost tackled him but Xiao wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground, preventing the two of them from falling over.
She flung her arms around his neck. Tears began to form in Keqing’s eyes again, but this time they were happy ones.
“Yes, I’m finally home.”
