Chapter Text
Not many things could take Azul Ashengrotto by surprise.
Excluding the small incident with the Ramshackle duo at the beginning of his second year, whose success he determined to have hinged on the intervention of a third party, he could assert that he had never truly been caught off his feet ever since his arrival on land. This, he would then argue, was an impressive feat, as it had been barely two and a half years ago that he acquired them.
Success was for the benefit of those who prepared beforehand. And that was what Azul did. Whether it was a test, a deal, or even a match at his club, he was sure not to leave anything to chance or luck. He prevailed through sheer perseverance.
At least until he ran into Diana. Things began to change then.
She messed with his rhythm. Not on purpose - or not often, but it happened. He’d find himself caught off guard far more often when he had to deal with her, and he couldn’t decide what to make of it. It kept him on his toes, that was true. And he enjoyed the challenge - facing her was exhilarating, intoxicating. It carried him to new heights. There was a sharpness there that bore a viciousness he found familiar and foreign at the same time.
Being with Diana was like gambling - he was always there on the edge, where his luck could go either way.
But, he did make sure to be cautious - he couldn’t stand it if he were to be swept up in her pace so easily.
He prepared. He studied. He researched. He borrowed books from the school library, avoiding the inquisitive gaze of the librarian, hoping she wouldn’t comment on the collection of studies regarding the intricacies of human reproduction and physical pleasure he had checked out one afternoon after a particular phone discussion.
They proved to be a good starting point, a foundation, which he desperately needed given his inexperience. He’d never dated anybody before her. The opportunity never presented itself. And even if it had, he doubted he would have acted upon it. He had been different back then.
But he understood that like with any enterprise that was to be taken up, there were certain milestones to be reached: first kiss, first date, first fight - that sort of thing. The small oddities they would both look back on later on in life and laugh, shaking their heads, wondering just how they could have ever been so ridiculous in the first place.
Their first night together was something he needed to make sure would proceed in an orderly fashion, because four months ago she had told him she missed him.
She was off in the Far East, in a place he couldn’t remember the name of, and didn’t care to, since all that mattered to him was that she was there. And not here. Not at his side. That had affected him more than he was willing to admit. Though it shouldn’t have. He knew her plans. He’d known them since before they’d started dating.
“I’m going on an internship in the Far East,” she had told him, her gaze steady, holding him captive. “They run a Monster Care Facility there. Strays, abuse victims, that sort. I need to be there too.”
He’d only nodded back then, mind too focused on other matters - small, trivial, ridiculous matters he realized now. Things that did not involve her. Or watching her leave. Or missing her.
All the important things.
He’d been completely blind to all of that. Hiding in his little pot, staring at the currents going by until one day he realized there would be no more. What ought he do then?
When she told him she would be visiting Walpurga Nact soon, to check in with her dorm, make sure her ‘little sisters’ were behaving, he felt hope bloom in his chest. Would she come by Night Raven too? Would she wish to see him as well? Dote upon him, let him touch her so he could remember the shape of her body, the smell of her skin, the depth of her love? He’d held his breath, waited and then, “I want to see you.”
His lungs filled with air, his heart beat again and his mind was already making plans, promises, vows. It was full of nothing but her, and him, and them - intertwined, inseparable.
“Tonight - let me remember your body.”
And so it was decided. As soon as she said those words he’d been trapped - her net wider than his mass, her arm faster than his members. She’d always been a skilled hunter.
Azul blushed at the memory - hands trembling, his beautiful handwriting smudging at the ends, tainting the document. He grumbled, brows furrowed as he taped against the paper with his pen and watched the ink dissipate thread by thread.
From across the room, Jade studied him with knowing eyes. The entire day had been nothing but a succession of moments in which Azul had been frazzled or flustered - ever since Diana had stepped foot on campus and visited their dorm, throwing her arms around Azul’s neck to bring him in a quick kiss. He could have matched the prefect of Heartslaybyul at that moment, and perhaps even more than that if Floyd had not come barging in, grabbed Diana by the shoulders and whisked her away for one reason or another, that only he would ever be able to understand.
Azul was left with a longing he couldn’t explain and a pounding heart, and Jade with the realization that he had been presented with a premise that offered much promise: Diana - wild, untamed, unrestrained - spending the night here in Octavinelle - ordered, tamed, restrained - with Azul - awkward, anxious, repressed .
Jade didn’t even need to intervene for things to become interesting, they always did when Diana was involved, yet as a self-defined enemy of general harmony, he could not help but jab at them for the briefest of moments.
“My, how gracious of you, Azul!” Jade said with no prompting. “To think that you are willing to let Diana spend the night here and provide her with accommodations as well! Truly, a most befitting behaviour for somebody of your position.”
Azul scoffed.
“There are no free rooms in the dorm as you should be aware of as vice Prefect.”
“Indeed. And it’s far too late to ask somebody to vacate theirs for the night.”
Jade made a spectacle of peeking at the clock where the big tongue was barely reaching four. Azul shifted and continued pouring over the documents.
“Exactly.”
“How generous of you not to burden them needlessly.”
His grin was so thin, Azul thought it might as well have reached from one ear to the other. Sharp teeth let themselves be on full display. They made him frown and sneer lightly.
“And you?”
“What about me?” Azul asked. His pen was moving swiftly across the pages as he filled them with several clauses and articles, each meticulously written. He did not have to look up, to see the insinuating look that took over Jade’s countenance before it disappeared, replaced by his usual polite facade.
“With Diana in your room, I imagine you’ll seek another place. Or will you not?”
“Why should I?” Azul’s tone was light and dismissive, but underneath it, there was the awkwardness that had managed to creep in, slowly, slinking. “There are no other rooms as I’ve explained already.”
“Indeed.”
“And it is after all my room. As Prefect I’m entitled to remain there.”
“Certainly.”
“Diana’s presence there is of no consequence to me.”
“Of course.”
Shooting him a glare achieved nothing but to make the spark of amusement in Jade’s eyes twinkle brighter.
“You’re awfully preoccupied with Diana’s sleeping arrangements.”
“I’m merely concerned,” Jade replied airly. “Floyd and I have offered to house her for the night, but you seemed awfully insistent on having her stay with you. How sad... I’m certain we would have had quite a fun sleepover, the three of us together.”
Azul bit his tongue. He buried his face in the documents before him, but Jade’s sharp eyes must have caught the slight pink on his cheeks nevertheless.
He did not push the issue further, merely returning to calculating the day’s profits and logging it in as usual. Not a word was exchanged between them after this. Not that there had to be. Jade had gathered all the information he needed. So the rest of the afternoon was spent in silence as each worked on their tasks. He had almost thought Jade had forgotten all about it, his amusement sated and thus sparing him from any further mockery.
How mistaken he was. Jade did not forget, and he did not intend to forget, just wait patiently for Floyd and Diana to return from their afternoon stroll - race, it was merely a race, nothing more, Azul reminded himself when he saw their flushed faces and heavy breathing - so the twins could whisper among themselves of things unknown to him. Though Floyd’s burst of obnoxious laughter was indicative enough.
Diana had not noticed their insistent looks, or if she did she pretended not to - it was always hard to tell with her. Nothing was certain. Nothing was clear. But Azul liked that - that impassive expression on her face as she beheld the whole world in front of her.
Everything but him.
For him, she moved.
“Hey, Big Sis, why don’t you crash in our room tonight, hm?”
He tensed. Every bone, every muscle - he sat there with taut anticipation, hoping, wishing she would not give in. He ought to say something, assert himself, but he couldn’t.
It would reveal too much. It would show too much of himself.
“I’m staying with Azul tonight.”
His spirit soared.
“Huh? That’s lame. You should come have fun with us!”
She averted her gaze. The conversation was over to her, Floyd’s words buzzing around her head as if they were nothing more than gnats. She swatted them easily until he was annoyed enough to simply let her be. He had learned a while ago that in a war of endurance she would always be the winner. She wouldn’t budge, and for that Azul was grateful. It made him hopeful and comforted to know that it was him who she would always choose.
He could have done without the twins’ jeering attitudes, however - Jade’s amused smile and Floyd’s mocking laughter having been their companions when Diana and he retreated in his room later on.
Relief flooded in when the door closed behind them - a click , a klang and it was just the two of them again. Alone. Together.
That previously welcome relief quickly gave way to nervousness when he saw Diana’s eyes sweep across the place, taking in every sight and little detail.
“It’s immaculate.”
“Of course. Do you take me for a slob?”
She shook her head as she moved further in. Stopping at the table next to his bed, she dragged one finger across the luminescent lamp placed there with great interest. And as she drank in every aspect of it, Azul realized he had seen that look before.
She was scouting the place. Prowling. Like an animal moving in a foreign enclosure she was trying to make sense of all that was around her. When she was finished with his desk she cast her gaze around the room again, until it settled on the large coin display he had set up on one of the walls. He swelled up with pride at her appreciative look.
“It’s expensive.”
“It certainly is. They’re all originals after all.”
She nodded. Money was of no concern to her.
Wordlessly she resumed her appraisal of his den. He watched her for a few moments, surprised somewhat by the grace she exhibited. He’d noticed it before - he must have - but it always seemed such a fundamental contradiction with the Diana he had become accustomed to that it must have slipped his mind. It was always a little surprising to realize such things about her - that despite her uncouth appearance there was a touch of softness and grace as well. Her step was light, barely making a sound and to him, it seemed that if he closed his eyes he wouldn’t even be able to notice her.
“You have a lot of clothes.”
She was going through his closet now, fingers running along the long sleeves of his shirt. With quick steps, he closed the distance between them and grabbed the handle from her hands. Obediently, she stepped back as soon as he closed it, expression aloof.
“I will have to ask you to refrain from such invasions of privacy in the future.”
“Are you upset?”
Her tone was sincere enough, and yet he couldn’t help but fear that she was teasing him.
“It… I would ask you not to do that again.”
She stared at him - an indescribable emotion in her eyes and Azul found himself turning pink under her gaze. A sudden thought occurred to him - maybe this was considered normal among humans? Perhaps a sign of trust among mates in order to strengthen their bond? Or merely social function? He shifted, dread building in his stomach, as he realized that if that was the case what he did must have certainly come across as cold and aggressive. Exactly what the books advised him against.
“Mm. Alright.”
Her expression was unreadable, but he couldn’t sense any trace of displeasure in her. It was silly - he was well aware of that - being so overly cautious about every move, every word. Yet that was his nature. Every web spun, every thread pulled, all of it moving as he needed it to - him holding the cords and making sure nobody, and nothing could interfere with his existence.
Ten limbs spread in every direction. Each grasping a different string.
Diana fell backwards on his bed with a sigh, distracting him from his musings as he glanced in her direction. She was staring at the light hanging off his ceiling, the white shells bathing the room in a cool glow, but Azul caught the small flicker of pink as her eyes trailed over to him. Suddenly, her presence there became overpowering. It shouldn’t have, he told himself, her being here, having them spend the night together - it was all purely at his invitation. It was him who wanted this.
He averted his eyes and swallowed once he caught himself staring at her thighs covered in black tights. It was a pretty sight. Prettier than he expected it to be. It made him wonder if she would keep them until later.
They shifted, rested against one another and then she was facing him.
“It is rather late-”
“Is it?”
He frowned, then glanced at the clock.
“It is 10:00 o’clock.”
“Hm.”
“Do you not consider this late?” he asked as he raised an eyebrow. He followed her gaze as she stared out the small window above his desk. The cascade of water was pouring down vigorously, obscuring the scenery outside, and for a while, its pitter-patter was the only sound in the room. The tension in his shoulders evaporated steadily once his confidence returned.
“In Monarchia we would be feasting under the stars now. Gathered around the bonfire, telling stories.” He could detect a small hint of homesickness in her voice, hidden underneath the calm, and for that brief second, he was overcome with unspeakable envy.
His voice came out more strained than he imagined it would. “Unfortunately, we will not be having anything of that sort here. As you can see, the water makes it rather difficult to spot the stars above.”
He shrugged off his coat. With nimble fingers, he hung it on the back of his chair. The hat and scarf came off next, the latter folded neatly, each placed in their respective spots.
“It’s alright. I like being here with you.”
He blushed at her confession and cast a look back at her as he took off his blazer. He expected - well, he wasn’t sure what he expected to see, perhaps another look of brief fondness replaced by sudden apathy? Or merely a general sense of indifference? Something along those lines, and not the intense, dark gaze that met him. She was, for lack of a better phrase, eating him up with her eyes, staring at him with such focus that he felt himself become stiff. Diana’s gaze was all revealing, of that he was sure. There was no other way to explain the concentration she exuded as she watched him undress, and it suddenly occurred to him that perhaps she was thinking too far ahead. Beyond his plans.
She was messing with his rhythm once more.
“We should get to sleep.”
“Are you tired?”
“I… It’s late.”
“Mm.”
“We should change into our sleeping clothes.”
For the first time that night, he saw her eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Do you wear those?” It pleased him that he could garner such a response from her. He’d knocked her off her feet. He had the advantage - for now.
“Of course. I have studied human culture quite thoroughly since coming to the surface and I’m well aware of the sleeping arrangements that are customary here.” The truth was that it had been a colossal amount of work, teaching himself how to live a completely different type of life in essence, but he had persevered as usual. And now nobody could say he had not mastered the art of blending in among these creatures.
Diana let out an appreciative hum and this put him in a better mood. Turning around he continued to undress.
“The selection is quite wide. Especially in the case of women. I had been expecting it of course - humans are most fond of dressing themselves up. But I did not think that carefulness would also extend to your nightwear to such a degree. Of course, I had made sure to conform to those standards as well as you’ll notice from my-”
He was in the middle of taking his shoes off - gloves and cumberbund already stashed away neatly - when he looked back, just a glance, and felt his heart stop in his chest. From his bent-over position, the view was distorted. Instead of standing up, Diana seemed to lean over to one side, almost on the verge of falling over. She had stood up from the bed at some point during his little speech, but it was not the silence with which she managed to do this that surprised him. No, it was the sight of her methodically unbuttoning her white cardigan and carelessly dropping it to the floor to join her ribbon, skirt and boots. Soon enough her undershirt would follow and as the material slid off her body smoothly Azul was surprised by the fact that he found it odd that she would wear no bra.
Not that she was not wearing one. That he was expecting already. Yes, she wasn’t especially big in that department - just enough for his eyes to follow the curve of her chest every so often - but even so, he was led to believe it was customary for women on land to don such attire regardless.
“Is something wrong?” Diana’s smooth voice was a harsh wake-up call that sent him spluttering to the floor. Almost. He had kept enough dignity to manage to stand up straight and turn around.
He knew that it shouldn’t bother him. After all, mermaids themselves were famously known for their lack of clothing. What use would a race of people living deep in the sea even have for such cover? Their scales and tissue were enough to provide a modicum of what humans considered ‘decent’ but even so, there was little difference between their men and women. Humans were always surprised by this fact. To them everything had to be covered at all times. He had never seen a human display that same sort of comfort regarding nudity as his own kind did, and Azul supposed that at some point he had grown unable to divorce that concept from them as a species. To him humanity had simply become synonymous with the clothing they would wear and to see one of them undress so brazenly shocked him in a manner he couldn’t properly express.
Then there was the issue that it was Diana who was undressing before him. It was no virginal shock. He’d seen her naked before, whenever he would visit Monarchia on their inter-school visits, and despite leaving him blushing and stuttering for the first time, he liked to imagine he’d gotten much better at handling the sight. He’d even managed to maintain a cool expression as they conversed while travelling through the hot summer weather of the dorm. To him, that was an achievement.
But this, here, now - it was too different from anything he ever expected. In his small, dimly lit room the image of her naked body symbolized more than it ever could in the dampness of Monarchia. It made his throat dry. His heart was beating a mile a minute. He could feel the heat radiate in waves from his face. The clothes on his body feel tighter than ever.
Was the room always so cramped? He could barely breathe.
“Azul?” He almost turned around at the sound of her voice. It was much softer than he ever heard her speak. But then the heap of clothes on the floor, the slenderness of her legs still clad in the black tights, the toned abdomen and the scar left from the Witch Dance flashed in his mind until he could see again, as clear as day, the shapely figure of her breasts. The thought was accompanied by another jolt shooting through his body as he exhaled softly.
“I would gladly have lent you use of my bathroom if you required it, Diana.”
“Mm.”
Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Please let me know when you’re decent.”
“Decent?”
“Not naked.”
“You’ve seen me naked before, Azul.”
“I meant when you change into your sleepwear.”
Diana let out another small hum before he heard the bed creak. Daring another look back, he was swiftly greeted by the sight of her sitting on the mattress, legs crossed and just as nude as before. He covered his eyes and swallowed loudly as he turned around. Realization slowly creeping upon him, he gathered all his wits to ask the next question.
“You have brought sleepwear with you, have you not?”
“I sleep like this.”
Just as he feared. Closing his eyes, he ran his fingers through his hair and hung his head low. It was typical for Diana to do something like this and take him by surprise. The fault laid all with him since he should have thought better, but he blamed his own hormones for clouding his judgement.
“Are you upset?”
He thought over his answer carefully.
“No, well… That does not matter now. You can borrow some of mine.”
A grunt.
“Yours are uncomfortable. They cover too much skin.”
“When did you-”
“The closet.”
Of course. Her eyes were sharp as ever.
“Unfortunately, you must endure it for tonight-”
“Why?”
“It’s, well,” he stumbled over his words, trying desperately to think of any answer that would not reveal how utterly embarrassed he felt by the whole incident. “As Prefect I must ensure that the rules of this dorm are followed strictly, and unfortunately this sort of nudity is not allowed…”
Would she believe this lie? Most likely not. And if she were to fall for such an obvious excuse he felt as if his interest in her would diminish ever so slightly. Yet, her seeing through him was far less desirable still. What would she think if she was to see that the only reason he wished her to wear clothes was so that he could take them off himself? That he would be the one to trail his fingers down her skin and kiss the path with his lips? She’d probably laugh at the pettiness of it. But he’d been led to believe it was part of the act, and he wished more than anything to do things perfectly right.
For him, or for her - he wasn’t sure. But they had to be done.
“I see.”
He heard the bed creak again, and the sheets rustling. Looking back, Diana had submerged herself under the covers, so only the top half of her body was visible anymore. She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, and the degree of skin Azul could see became far more limited. And more manageable.
Attempting to hide his embarrassment, he walked over to his closet and tried to look for something that would be appropriate. Pulling out one of his lighter nightshirts, he heard Diana speak.
“Nothing with long sleeves.”
“Unfortunately, you’ll have to deal with this.”
He hoped he sounded as confident as he believed himself to be, though the sight of him hesitantly approaching the bed to place the clothing there most certainly wasn’t. Diana did not move at all. Even when he went back to the desk, turning around to give her some privacy, she continued to stare at his back until the heat scorched him. He began to take off his suspenders in hopes that she’ll mimic his behaviour, and so he could distract himself from thoughts that came rushing through his mind.
Diana was still sitting on his bed, chin resting on her knees, watching him intently when he peeked back at her.
“Do you mind?”
“Not at all. I like watching you undress.”
He swore he saw her flash him a smile that time. His face erupted in flames, his hands shaking ever so slightly until he couldn’t trust his voice anymore.
“That is not… what I meant.”
“I don’t see the point of me dressing up now.”
“What do you mean? Why is there no point in that?”
She was silent for a long while. Longer than Azul expected her to be. Sparing her a glance, they locked gazes, and he saw amusement flicker in her eyes.
“Sex is usually an activity people do without any clothes, is it not?”
“I think you must be mistaken.” The words came out before he could stop them. Rushing, tumbling over each other they laid down at his feet and filled the distance between them with an awkwardness he was loath to explain. Just as they slipped out of his mouth he wanted to take them back. “I simply invited you here because I did not wish to inconvenience others.”
Did it seem as fake to her as it did to him? If it did, Diana did not let it show it. She looked at him carefully, and after what seemed like an eternity, subtly nodded. Azul breathed in relief for a moment, until he saw her move from underneath the covers and turned away. Red dusted his cheeks.
He heard movement, then silence again.
“Don’t you have anything with short sleeves?”
He sighed. Marching over to his wardrobe, he threw it open. He figured there must be something inside that would be to her liking.
“There is the short-sleeved shirt of the summer uniform.”
“The buttons are uncomfortable.”
“Very well,” he grumbled. “Unfortunately it seems that I have nothing that would fit your preferences. It seems that the nightwear I picked for you will do.”
“Or naked-”
“Not… Not that!”
Her eyes shone - with amusement? Irritation? He wasn't certain. Then, carefully, she asked, “Do you dislike seeing me naked?”
His reply was caught in his throat. Perhaps it was for the best. He felt like he would die of embarrassment if he were to admit that the thought of her being exposed to him like that had kept him up at night several times already.
Her body wasn’t pristine, not like his at the very least. Little scars littered it, each forming odd patterns and shapes, but when he touched them, the skin was smooth and silky. It startled him the first time he found them - during their first makeout session. Their first real makeout session. When he was on his back, on the sofa they had in the Mostro Lounge VIP room, his coat and hat discarded and his gloves thrown over the desk. Diana always insisted his gloves go first. She said she liked when his hands touched her bare skin, and that made his heart leap in his throat. She was straddling him, nipping at his neck, leaving little lovebites everywhere she could and drawing out of him the softest sighs. She had done all this before, he was certain. Her movements were too practised, too knowledgeable. The reality of her having others before him was natural, he supposed, but it did not soothe him at all. His jealousy was such that it required an obliteration of the past that didn’t include them. Not that he would ever admit to such a thing.
A moan escaped as she reached the sensitive spot on his neck, and with certain natural ease began to suck on it gently. She’d once told him that to her he was like unconquered land - to explore him, every inch, every stretch of skin, was exhilarating. It pleased him, more than he would have liked to admit. The notion that she found him appealing - no, attractive - had done things to his ego that nothing else could.
Until he met her he didn’t know he liked to be stared at lustfully.
She unbuttoned his shirt, slowly, carefully, with a sort of reverence he was surprised she was capable of. His breath hitched when she nipped at his collarbones, his chest becoming exposed the further she descended until the cold air washed over him. The warmth of her body and the softness of her lips was all he could focus on as she kissed her way down to his pelvis where with deft fingers she unhooked the hoops of his belt and suddenly stood straight. He almost whined at the lack of contact between them, until he caught himself, and instead watched her greedily as she shed her own clothes until nothing but her tights remained. When she moved to take them off, his hands covered hers and guided them away. They rested on his chest as she leaned in to capture his lips so that they were pressed against each other. Her legs straddled him again and he ran his fingers along the sides where the material hugged her figure nicely. He wasn’t sure what it was about her in tights, but the image had bewitched him.
Diana’s arms were resting on either side of his head now, caging him in, her lower body moving in rhythm against his. He moaned against her mouth at the friction and moved his hands upwards until his palms were stroking her stomach, fingers gently tracing the healed and faded scars. She’d told them a little about some of them, and the stories alone made him worried at the prospect of her safety in the wilderness. When he reached the one across her right side, right underneath her breast, which he knew she received during the Witch Dance that year, she let out a low growl.
It startled him. His eyes flew open. She broke away, a snarl on her face, her eyes wild and slit, her teeth barred. Her whole body tensed under his touch. It was fury, and it was swift. He barely caught a glimpse of it before it was washed away, and in its wake, a slight grimace of pain appeared. He understood immediately.
“Ah, so it still hurts you…” he whispered the words. Diana did not say anything, but with the faintest of nods confirmed his suspicions. He quickly removed his hand from the spot, though in his hurry, instead of descending towards her waist, he ended up cupping her breast and froze mortified. How uncouth he must have looked. Responding to the situation not with courteous behaviour, as would have befitted this revelation, but with base instinct. Regardless of his desires, he should at least show concern in such cases.
However, instead of being furious or snarling again, Diana merely flashed him a smile and leaned forward to kiss him gently.
“Beautiful…” she murmured against his lips, and he turned red in response. Was she talking about him? She must have by the look in her eyes. But even so, why now? What was so beautiful about this faux pas of his? Was she mocking him? Merely having a laugh at his expense? No, she wasn’t the type to do that. He knew that all too well. Then what was she trying to accomplish by this? He couldn’t wrap his head around it, but his heart was leaping in his chest at the praise. Diana must have heard it too as she laid her head in the crook of his neck and continued to whisper sweet nothings until he felt his throat tighten.
He never wanted her to stop. He could listen to her speak forever.
“If it’s so displeasing to you, I will ask my little brother to lend me a T-Shirt of his…” she teased. It brought him back to reality. Azul frowned. He wished in moments like that Diana would understand the value of silence. His lips pursed, he began to look more rigorously through his wardrobe.
“No need to bother Floyd at this hour. I am certain I will find something to your liking. Please, have patience.”
She said nothing in return, but he knew she was smiling. It was just like her to serve him a curveball like this.
He had no other choice though. The mere thought of seeing her in another man’s clothes, regardless of it being her ‘little brother’s’, made his stomach churn. He wondered if Diana was aware of this - she must have been and that’s why she was bringing it up. Or perhaps she meant it as innocently as possible. With her, it was always hard to tell.
A few moments later he had managed to find the thing he was hoping for.
“This would be acceptable, would it not?”
He presented the old navy T-Shirt to her somewhat hesitantly. It wasn’t one of his own, well, not exactly. It was an odd gift Floyd had received as part of a promotion Sam was running at the time regarding something or other, which Azul couldn’t be bothered to remember. Diana unfolded it to have a better look at it, and only when spotting the weird-looking mascot on the front did it become clear that it was to encourage sales of shrimp-flavoured snacks. The product sounded disgusting even now, but the campaign was so well-thought-out, Sam managed to make quite a profit. Floyd seemed amused by the shirt since Azul remembered having seen him in good spirits as he made his way back to Mostro Lounge with a bag of those snacks. It did not last long. As soon as Floyd realized that the shirt was a few sizes too small for him, he had dumped it into his hands saying that it was a special-time gift to make up for not planning on working that day. That didn’t pan out either, of course, since Azul’s nagging ultimately got him to assist the rest of the staff, even if he was more sullen than usual. Though as long as he made a profit, Azul was willing to overlook most of Floyd’s moods.
As for the T-Shirt, he wasn’t sure what to make of it. The material was good, but the design was not something he would ever dare wear. He prided himself in cultivating a certain image of style and elegance in his looks, and this shirt was the farthest thing from it. He couldn’t be caught wearing it, so he put it away in the deepest corner of his wardrobe and forgot about it completely. Until now, when its presence was more than welcome.
If Diana liked it, she didn’t show it. Wordlessly she slipped the shirt on, and Azul’s face turned slightly red as he saw how nicely it hugged her breasts. It did not reach to cover anything below her waist though. Not even waiting for him to speak, she bent down to retrieve her panties and slipped them back on again. They were flimsy and thin, of course, not that he expected anything different but at least she was covered now. Somewhat.
He sighed softly in relief, then Diana leaned over to kiss him gently and wrap her arms around his neck. He leaned in by reflex. His hold on her waist was automatic. The motions were practised, natural to them by now. It pleased him to see how in control of his reactions he remained in those moments. Though he had to admit he was a little disappointed when Diana broke their kiss and leaned back to cup his cheek and kiss the corner of his mouth. She let go of him completely, turning back to the bed and he blinked at her as she smiled over her shoulder, her eyes dark and heavy.
“It’s late.”
“Huh?”
“You said you were tired. We should sleep.”
He pursed his lips. What a clever minx she was to toy with him like this. Perhaps she hoped he would lose all control and ravish her on the spot? Well, she would be getting her hopes up for nothing. Faking a polite cough, Azul headed for the bathroom, when it became clear what Diana was playing at, and while he couldn’t say the idea wasn’t appealing, he had no plans on giving in so easily. He’d make his cat run around for a bit before he decided whether to let her get her prize or not. The thought put him in a good mood. As did the image of Diana’s pleading expression staring up at him from down on her knees. He’d never seen one as such plastered on her face, but he was certain it would be unforgettable. He could already picture her with laboured breath and rosy cheeks, begging him for release as his members pounded into her-
He coughed again. This time it wasn’t an act. He swallowed with difficulty and chased the image away from his mind. As enticing as it was, he was getting ahead of himself. He had to be patient. Slipping out of his trousers, he put on the bottom half of his nightwear, careful to stash them in the hamper, and continued to think over his plans.
When he returned to the room, he found her under the covers, staring at the lights above his bed.
“You seem quite fascinated by them.”
Diana shrugged. Turning on her side she stood facing him, now finally dressed in his long-sleeved pyjamas, buttons nicely fastened up to the last one. He sighed when he saw disappointment flash in her eyes.
“I am aware of what you were hoping for. Unfortunately, this will have to do, Diana.”
She huddled deeper under the covers until only her head was visible. Azul sighed and motioned for her to move. He kept close to the edge, feeling hesitant to approach her any further. He didn’t want Diana to think he was desperate. It would certainly have mortified him to have her remark on his eagerness to join her.
She seemed to have no such reservations. As soon as he leaned back with his head on the pillow, her arms encircled his arm, wrapped securely around his bicep. Her head rested on his shoulder, and, much to his embarrassment, her leg hitched to his waist until she was almost straddling him.
“You’re rather… affectionate today,” he remarked. It was barely a whisper but in the deafening silence of the room, it sounded as loud as a howl. Diana moved closer to him. He could feel her breath on his neck, and the swell of her breasts pressed against his arm.
“I missed you.”
Her thigh was placed in between his own. His hand clenched by reflex, and his fingers brushed against the skin of her leg.
“I see.”
His whole body was on fire. When her lips brushed against his neck, he let out a shaky sigh and moved to stand up. Diana released his arm and leaning on it he turned towards her. Dark, hooded eyes looked up at him as he caged her underneath him and his breath was caught in his throat. She was beautiful like this. Wild, and unrestrained, but beautiful. And his. All his. When they kissed she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer, and he smirked in amusement. Her honesty in such moments was endearing after all. No matter how much she enjoyed their little cat and mouse game, in the end, she always melted under his ministrations. Feeling her sigh against his mouth - softly and lustfully - helped relax him. His previous reticence was melting away now that he realized he was the one in control.
She pressed herself flush against him, and Azul almost moaned at the feeling. It surprised him how soft her body actually was. He wrapped his arm around her waist to bring her closer, though no space remained in between them. He didn’t care for it, not when she threaded her fingers through his hair and tugged suddenly. His head jerked backwards, the kiss broken, and he could fully see Diana’s flushed cheeks, and half-lidded eyes. He took in the sight, his left hand moving to cup her cheek gently. She nuzzled into the touch. It made him smile.
He was needy. Of that, he was perfectly aware because it deeply ashamed him. But Diana knew this as well. She must have known from the first moment her eyes lingered on him. Under her gaze he unfolded - easily, completely - and it frustrated him. There was no hidden corner he could hide from her, and yet for all her honesty, he hardly ever knew what exactly she was thinking. Even now, as she laid underneath him, panting softly from excitement, with dark eyes and lips parted he felt the old shadow of doubt creep in slowly. Was she really here for him? Or mere curiosity? She once said she was intrigued by him to the point that it made her love him, but he had never truly grasped the full meaning of it. Perhaps it was intentional. After all, he realized that while it frustrated him, her allure was this very dilemma that she posed to him. If he had been able to understand her so easily, he felt he might have long lost interest.
Diana tugged him forward until their lips connected again. He whined slightly as he felt the usual roughness he’d grown accustomed to over the months, and then gasped when she boldly bit on his lower lip. She gave him a lazy smile and poked her tongue out, between his trembling lips, until all he could think about was how wonderfully alive she made him feel. Her body writhed underneath him, and he welcomed every touch, every friction as he pushed her deeper into the mattress. Her hands had long released their hold and were now travelling downwards tracing through his shirt the muscles on his back. She had nimble fingers, rough and small, and when her nails scratched slightly his skin he gave out a suppressed moan. They would heal in the morning, his biology did not allow for such wounds to remain, but the sensation would stay with him. When they broke for air he could see the string of saliva connecting them, until Diana’s tongue darted out to lick her lips and broke it.
“Azul…”
It was like a fog descended over his mind when he heard her speak. Low, heated and pleading - no, begging . She had never sounded sweeter to his ears than right now, with her body pressed against his and heart pounding in rhythm with his. He leaned forward to kiss her again, as his hand sneaked underneath her shirt to cup her left breast, finger poking at the erect bud until she moaned in his mouth.
It was accompanied a few moments later by a softer sigh of confusion, as Diana’s thigh rubbed the spot in between his legs. Only to find nothing there at all.
Azul detached himself from her with such swiftness, she was left starstruck.
They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, neither daring to speak. She took in the sight of his face: mortified, ashamed and furious. Not at her. No, there was no such anger there. She exhaled softly, body still aching for his touch and words caught in her throat. With her arms supporting her, she stood up. The bed creaked underneath her and she could see his eyes snap to attention. They roamed over her face, anxiously swift, before they found whatever it was he was looking for. With quick movements, he stood up from the bed and ran his fingers through his hair, and down his clothes to smooth them out. His hands were shaking, barely able to keep in one place.
“Azul-”
She had barely uttered the word, and he turned around in a hurry. She reached out and caught the sleeve of his shirt between her fingers. Azul paused, eyes looking forward and slowly put back in place his usual calm and cool facade.
“I’ve realized that I’ve failed to provide any drinks for your stay tonight.” His voice was controlled and confident, not a single tremor in it. It pleased him. He pushed up his glasses with aloof carelessness and cast her a glance. “I apologize for that. As a host, I must be gracious and benevolent, after all.”
Diana’s face was unreadable. Her grip on his clothes still firm, she tugged lightly.
“Azul. It’s alright.”
He wouldn’t budge. She could see it in his eyes. Pushing now when he could so easily break would not do, so she released her hold on him. Leaning back against the pillows, she watched him leave the room, and softly close the door behind him. Left alone she sighed and curled up underneath the covers.
*
Azul wasn’t sure where he was heading. The Lounge perhaps. It was the logical destination. Where else would he get her something to drink at that late hour? With quick steps he walked the length of the dorm hallway, taking turns and twists as needed, without ever so much as glancing at his surroundings. He knew the way by heart and given that most of the students were tired after today the chances of him being spotted were low enough that he didn’t have to worry about that either.
Not that it would have even mattered in his state. He’d have walked right past them - like through schools of angelfish, making them scatter in all directions.
In the cool darkness of the Lounge kitchen, he blindly reached for the fridge door. He could have turned on the lights, he knew that, but he didn’t dare. In the darkness, all alone with his thoughts, he felt safer. Secure.
He grabbed the first bottle of water he could find inside and closed the door before he rested his forehead against the cool metal. His head was throbbing - mixed emotions swirling inside and making him dizzy. There was arousal, in the forefront, the image of Diana’s wanton expression and the feeling of her body pressed against him still fresh in his mind. But with it came the memory of her surprised sigh and that expression of pure confusion when she realized-
He covered his face with his hand. A broken gasp escaped him, though in the solitude of the kitchen nobody would have noticed. He should be getting back now. After all, he got what he came here for, but the more he told himself that the more he found the notion unbearable.
How could he even think of facing her now? When she’d seen - felt - what he tried so desperately to tell himself didn’t matter at all. He was a fool to even entertain the notion. Regardless of how unusual Diana could be, she was still human in the end. And humans, as he was well aware, had certain expectations during sex, which his biology could never satisfy. Calling Diana over here tonight, letting her share a bed with him - these were all mistakes that would bring about his doom. The thought washed over him like a torrent, cold and dreadful. It overtook him. His mind went blank, body moving by itself as he made his way back to his room. Whatever happened tonight, he had to make sure his reputation remained intact. He had worked too hard for everything to lose it all now.
And if Diana decided to leave him-
He couldn’t even finish the thought. He wrapped it tightly and shoved it in the deepest recesses of his mind where he hoped it would never surface again. He didn’t want to think about that now. He would later when he was all alone, free to let himself feel the self-loathing so characteristic of him. Yes, then it would be acceptable.
He opened the door to the room silently, glancing inside to see Diana curled up under the covers and fast asleep. Relief flooded his veins at the sight of her resting so peacefully, instead of being awake and waiting for him. She would try to comfort him, he knew that all too well, but in this moment he was certain he couldn’t face the pity in her voice. Setting the water bottle on the desk, he approached the bed and slipped under the covers. He was cautious not to touch her for fear of waking her. He sensed somewhere deep down that this would be the last time he’d ever be so close to her again.
Sleep did not come easy to him that night, and when it did, his dreams were filled with nothing but scenes of ink-splattered cauldrons and jeering children.
Somewhere in the distance, there was Diana too - distant, a silver silhouette on a screen. She faced away from him, expression vacant and on his useless legs, he tried to follow her, bring her closer. But when he touched her skin he found nothing but sea foam in her stead.
She was gone.