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Rearranging herself on the floor, Barriss crossed her legs. Resting her chin on a fist, she hunched over her pad and stared at words that might as well be written in Sith. She couldn’t make it through an entire sentence before her eyes wandered up once more.
Anakin corkscrewed through the air. Landing behind his opponent with a smirk, he swept the other padawan’s legs. The boy tumbled to the mat and then scrambled to regain his feet. Instead of taking advantage of the opening he’d just created, Anakin twirled his lightsaber and glanced in her direction. Their eyes met.
Barriss flushed at being caught, and her gaze shot back to her pad. “Be a little more obvious, Offee,” she muttered. “You’re studying while waiting for your own sparring session, remember? You know, the one that’s not for another hour? I’m sure Anakin already thinks you’re weird for sticking around after supposedly mixing up the schedule.”
She lasted a good thirty seconds this time. Casually reaching up, Barriss fiddled with her headscarf for the tenth time and snuck a peek at the match. Her eyebrows drew together. What happened?
Anakin’s parries were perfunctory, and a frown was etched into the face Barriss found distractingly attractive. Pretense forgotten, her hands floated down as she scanned his expression for hints of the problem. In their weeks together on Ansion, she’d gotten adept at reading Skywalker moods. Something isn’t going the way he wants, and he’s trying to figure out what to do about it. Except, that didn’t make any sense. Why would Anakin be worried about the match? He was the superior combatant and not struggling to hold his own. Maybe you don’t understand him as well as you think.
After pushing back his opponent, Anakin’s gaze again swerved to hers. When their eyes met, his frown flip-flopped into a grin, and he went on the offensive.
Swinging wide, Anakin danced around his opponent. Then, he launched himself into the air and began flipping around in what Barriss thought was a rather showy display of acrobatics. Though she couldn’t say he didn’t look good doing it. Not even bothering to pretend anymore, she followed his every move.
When he pinned his opponent, Barriss almost cheered. Stopping herself just in time, she settled for an admiring smile.
Pulling his friend up, Anakin clapped him on the back. They chatted for a minute and then reset the sparring area. As the other padawan headed off, Anakin glanced around the space.
Resisting the urge to fidget, Barriss planted palms on the floor. Maybe he’ll come over and chat? I mean we’re friends now, right? I think we are, anyway. However, while his gaze passed over her, it didn’t linger. Then, Anakin strode to the center of the mat.
She slumped. Stupid. Just because you spent a few weeks together on a mission doesn’t mean anything. Why would he pay attention to you when he has a million other options?
Anakin began doing calf stretches. His position rotated slightly on every leg switch until he was directly facing her. His eyes flicked up to hers and then back to the mat. It was so fast, Barriss wondered whether she’d imagined it.
Extending his arms, Anakin locked them above his head and did a series of body bends. As he strained in multiple directions, the tie on his sparring tunic started to come undone. Soon both flaps were hanging open, revealing a slice of the lanky, glistening chest beneath.
Trailing fingers along her throat, Barriss breathed, “Holy Force.”
After a couple of minutes, he finished stretching. Instead of refastening his tunic, Anakin kept adjusting it with dramatic noises of frustration. However, the adjustments were the most ineffective thing she’d ever witnessed. Barriss couldn’t understand what he was trying to accomplish unless the goal was to show even more of his chest. Her stomach fluttered at the thought of him stripping it off completely. That’s when the rapid-fire gaze jumped to her once more before careening away.
Why does he keep looking at me? To check if I’m offended by his informal dress? Maybe he’s wondering what I’m still doing here? Or… he wants to gauge my reaction because— She physically cut off her wishful thinking by slapping a palm to her forehead. “You’re being stupid again. It’s just random. You’re in his sightline.”
Anakin finally tucked the ends into the back of his pants to get them out of the way, leaving the front wide open. Barriss couldn’t say she was disappointed. Wetting her lips, she ran an appreciative eye over the result.
Unhooking his saber, Anakin spun the hilt in his hand as he stared at the mat. Then, his mouth curved up. Igniting his blade, he started performing a complicated series of fancy leaps and jabs.
She tilted her head. Was this some kind of special post-sparring routine? Because it looked like nonsense. The moves crossed multiple combat forms, and he didn’t seem to be choosing them in service of a specific goal. That didn’t make the display any less impressive, though. Deciding he probably wouldn’t notice anyway, Barriss settled against the wall and let herself enjoy the moment.
Ansion had taught her how much of Anakin’s style reflected his emotions. When he got angry, his saber had a sweeping power. When in an impulsive or impatient mood, there was a snappiness to every thrust. When he was upset, the moves were inelegant and choppy. When feeling confident, he tended to push the limits of sabercraft to a reckless degree. She’d even seen a playful side with its lazy flicks and swipes. Right now, though, his movements were fluid and agile. His blade weaved with buoyant lightness, the rest of his body flowing in harmony. He’s happy. A soft smile formed at seeing him relatively at peace with the world for once.
Barriss gasped as Anakin flung his saber toward the ceiling. The rotating blade flashed at a dizzying speed and then spiraled back toward his hand. Her stomach rolled. It was a dangerous and foolhardy maneuver, yet strangely exciting to watch.
He caught it with a flourish. Spinning the hilt in his palm, Anakin deactivated the saber and hung it on his belt in one smooth motion. Looking over at her, he winked.
Heat speckled her cheeks. Guess he noticed, after all. Nerves pinging, she returned a little wave.
Anakin brightened. Wiping his forehead, he swept his padawan braid back and smoothed his tunic sleeves. Then, he walked toward her.
Breathing in and out a few times, she flattened her back against the wall and gripped her pad. Act normal. Act normal.
The young man dropped to the floor beside her. “Hey. Hope we didn’t distract you from your studies. Though, I’m sorta glad about the time mix-up since I haven’t seen you since Ansion.”
Flushing hotter, she blurted, “Me too. Glad to see you, I mean.”
“That’s a relief.” He stuck out his bottom lip in an overdone pout. “Thought you might be avoiding me. My master insists there’s only so much Anakin Skywalker people can handle.”
She rubbed her throat with a pitchy laugh. “Of course not. There was an ice quake on Mirial. The council assigned my master to lead the relief efforts. We just got back yesterday. Oh, and I didn’t mind the distraction. I enjoyed watching you. Uh, not like—as in it was a good match. Congratulations.”
Anakin’s shoulders straightened, chest puffing out. “Thanks. Olin is a solid defender, but his counters on reverse strikes are slow. I usually can win within the first set of exchanges. Sometimes, I don’t take a victory right away to let him practice.”
Barriss pursed her lips. “Interesting. Because I would have said your best opportunities were from overhand attacks. I noticed at least two instances where he gained the advantage on a counter when you were unprepared.”
His face reddened, and he looked away. “Oh. Maybe I’m underestimating him, then.”
Afraid she’d hurt his feelings, Barriss tried to fix it. “I didn’t mean you weren’t good. Because you are. One of the best I’ve seen, actually.”
He returned attention to her with a boyish grin. “Thanks.” Anakin licked his lips. “Also, I’m glad I ran into you because I wanted to ask—was wondering if you wanted to—” Scrubbing hands on his pants, he let out a string of semi-garbled words. “Doyouwannamaybe stu-study together sometime?”
Detangling the sentence, she blinked. “You want to study with me?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Yeah. On Ansion, you were always talking about things you were researching for our advanced techononomics class and other smart stuff. Stuff I’m not usually interested in at all. But you made it sound interesting. I thought I might learn more if I learned it with you.”
“Really?” She squeaked a laugh. “Erm, sure.”
“Great! How about tonight? We could maybe meet…” There was a split-second hesitation before he rushed out, “... in the Temple garden after dinner?”
Her nose scrunched. “You study in the garden? Not the library? Or the reading rooms?”
Anakin rubbed the back of his neck. “Sometimes. Occasionally. You know, to get some fresh air. I just thought it might be more, uh, fun there. We don’t have to.”
“No!” she said far too quickly. “I don’t mind.” Frowning, Barriss asked, “What do you do when the sun sets? Isn’t it hard to see your materials?”
He gazed at her for a long moment and then glanced around the empty sparring area. Leaning closer, Anakin lowered his voice. “See, that’s what I meant by the fun part. If we’re tired of studying or it gets too dark, we could take a walk or maybe hang out. There’s also this quiet spot under the Broadleaf trees where we could watch the moons rise. Whatever we feel like doing.”
She stared. Can’t be. Because it sounded as if he was asking for a study date. The kind she knew padawans had but didn’t talk about. The kind the masters must know about but overlooked. The kind she’d never been asked on before in her entire life. Until now. Oh Force. Mouth going dry, she tried to focus through a heady lightness. This was really happening. Well, it would if she could manage to stop internally screaming. Curling her fingers into fists, she corralled the chaos. It’s only a study date. People have them all the time. No big deal. Act normal. Except she had no clue what normal meant in this case. Was there a protocol? Should she bring anything? Was there any actual studying on a study date? Desperately hoping being honest didn’t ruin everything, she ventured, “You may have to fill me in on a few details. Because I’ve never… studied like that before.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?” He cringed. “Sorry, didn’t mean that how it sounded. I’m just surprised because…” Anakin coughed into his hand. “... I can’t see why everyone wouldn’t want to study with you.”
Warmth rushed to her face. “Thanks.”
“Anyway, guess we can make up the details ourselves. Pretty sure there’s not a standard way to, uh, do this stuff. Or I don’t think there is. I’m not—” He flexed his fingers and then exhaled. “I don’t want you to think I’m some expert. I’ve only had one, erm, study partner. And that was when I was fourteen. So this is kinda new for me too.”
Her eyes widened. That’s when she noticed his rapid blinks, twitching leg, and the sheen of sweat on his forehead. Oh. Seeing his anxiety calmed her own. You already know how to talk to him. Why are you acting so weird? Her taut muscles relaxed. “Know what’s strange? Thinking you’re as clueless as I am somehow makes me feel better.”
Anakin blinked at her and then his tensed posture deflated with a whoosh of breath. “Ok I have no idea why, but now I feel better too.”
Crossing her legs and facing him, she grinned. “Excellent. Two betters are even better. Guess I just assumed. Because I know more than a few padawans who’d love to study with you.” A tinge of petulance she didn’t intend crept into her tone. “They’re quite vocal about it, actually.”
The corners of his mouth twitched. “Nice to know.” Spinning in place, he mirrored her position and wriggled his eyebrows. “But I’m only interested in studying with one, very specific, padawan.”
Trying to hide her blush, she dipped her head. Resting her arm across a knee, she circled fingers on the floor. “Also nice to know.” Raising her gaze, she added, “Though I’m still surprised about you.”
He grimaced. “See, I’m not great at this stuff. I feel super awkward and tend to say whatever enters my head. It doesn’t always come out right. This one padawan I tried to ask still won’t speak to me. Also, younger me thought following a girl around and staring at her showed your dedication. Until one of them told me I was creeping her out. After that, I kinda lost my nerve and quit asking.”
“Maybe you gave up too soon because I think you did just fine.”
The boyish grin flashed again, and he scooted closer. “Or maybe I just asked the right girl this time.” His hand drifted toward where her own was still absently circling the floor. Running fingertips over the back of it, he murmured, “I think so, anyway.”
Barriss’s stomach fluttered. “Good.” Clearing her throat, she teased, “Well, I’m glad you managed to overcome this long-held aversion to studying.”
Anakin snorted. “I’m serious. If you could have been inside my head. I was one wrong glance away from running out the door.” He started tracing the diamond tattoos decorating her hand. “Why do you think it took me so long to come over here?”
Ignoring the tingling skin his touch produced, she smirked. “I thought you were just trying to impress me.”
His cheeks tinged pink. “That’s not—ugh, fine. I figured, while I was busy getting up the nerve, a little showing off couldn’t hurt my chances.”
Barriss laughed. “Even if you’d tripped, sliced off your hand, and screamed out a half-deranged request while I was carrying you to the infirmary, I still would have said yes.”
Anakin groaned. “All that brilliance, wasted.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I certainly enjoyed watching it. Why do you think I’m here an hour early?”
His mouth parted and then stretched back into a grin. Sliding fingers between hers, he tutted. “Why, Padawan Offee, such shocking behavior.”
Her pulse kicked up a notch as their fingers locked together. Trying to keep her tone light, she replied, “You have no idea. My next plan involved accidentally dumping a tray of food on you at dinner. That’s what I thought it would take to get your attention.”
Anakin’s forehead wrinkled. “Why?”
Barriss shrugged. “Guess I’m not used to people noticing me.”
He tightened his grip on her hand. “I don’t see how that would ever be true. You’re… different.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
He winced. “I told you I’m terrible at this. What I mean is you’re not—” His face scrunched in evident thought. “Ok, for example, my missions with other padawans don’t usually go well. My master too, sometimes. They act as if I’m some rogue Jedi and get frustrated when I argue or take the initiative. You weren’t like that. You didn’t give me lectures on how I should be. When you came up with a plan and I disagreed, we’d talk it out. And your reasons always made sense. Sometimes we’d adjust it and sometimes not. Either way, I knew you weren’t dismissing my opinions but really listening. When we ran into trouble, and I had an idea you trusted me to take the lead. If I made a mistake, you had my back. We got things done together. It was…” His eyes dropped for a moment before slowly lifting to hers. “... nice.”
Warmth spread across her chest, and she squeezed his fingers. “For me too.”
Anakin smiled but then chewed the inside of his cheek. “I know I’m not exactly the easiest—I can be really moody. No idea why I get so frustrated and whiny. I even annoy myself sometimes. Pretty sure most people also think I’m an arrogant prick.” He grunted. “They’re probably right. My point is you didn’t seem to mind how I am. If I was being a jerk, you would just call it out and ask me why. Not in a lecturing way, but in a you cared way. Then, you’d listen, and it always helped. When I’m with you, it feels different. I can talk about things I can’t with other people.” A slight rasp entered his voice. “You let me be me.”
Throat thickening, she swallowed. “You’re different too. You treated me like…” She trailed off, reluctant to admit the hurt she’d never admitted to anyone.
Lifting Barriss’s hand, he delivered a tender kiss to her knuckles. “You can tell me. I want to know about you.”
Gazing at him, Barriss realized how much she wanted him to understand her. Stroking her constricted throat, she rushed out, “People don’t see me. Some of it is probably because I keep to myself. But also I feel like Background Jedi Number 327 or something. My skills are above average but never the best. I don’t step out of line, have radical opinions, or anything that distinguishes me. I rarely get accolades or censure. No one calls me an arrogant prick because no one thinks of me at all. You treated me as if I was someone worth talking to about things. Me being there mattered to someone.” Her tone softened as she met his eyes. “With you, it felt like I… existed.”
Intense blue eyes shined back at her. “Good. I’m gonna make sure you never feel that way again. Because you more than exist, Barriss Offee. You’re special.”
Heart basking in a radiating warmth she couldn’t remember ever experiencing, Barriss could only manage a hoarse, “Thanks.”
They gazed at each other for a few moments and then Anakin leaned closer. “And for the record, I think of you.” Face drifting toward hers, he whispered. “A lot.”
Barriss felt as if the world was moving in slow motion. Her body started trembling. A vague buzzing filled her ears. Each breath carried an excruciating pause. All she could do was wait in exquisite agony to catch up. Then, she did.
Anakin’s lips touched hers. A mere brush of skin before pulling away. Inhaling sharply, he returned to her mouth. Barriss hesitantly pressed her own into his. They broke apart again but just as quickly came back together. As the cycle of brief kisses continued, her chest pulsed in rhythm with each touch.
Hands lifted to her face and held it in place as their mouths melded completely. The tentative caress morphed into something much more intense. Reaching up, she curled fingers around the back of his neck and sunk into the kiss.
Anakin worked over her lips, probing deeper. Sliding her hand down his throat, she flattened it against his bare chest. Barriss shivered as her fingertips burrowed into the taut skin. Sucking air through his nostrils, he whined against her mouth. An almost overwhelming jolt of electric energy crackled between them, and they broke apart with a matching shudder.
Only ragged breaths sounded until Anakin croaked, “Force, I’ve been wanting to do that since Ansion.”
“Mmm…” She weaved her fingers through spikes of hair. “You know, once I finish sparring, my schedule is open. Maybe we should put in some extra study time.”
Grinning lips rubbed over hers. “Never did I imagine those words could make me so happy.”
She twirled his padawan braid with a soft hum. “You just wait, Skywalker. My plan is to make sure all you’ll want to do is study.”
Pulling her closer, Anakin breathed, “I already do.”
Releasing a sigh so deep it felt as if her entire life was contained in it, Barriss fell back into his arms.