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Hokuto enters the cafeteria near library with a big paper bag in hand. He spots the corner table before walks toward it. He likes sitting alone, because silence is peaceful. When he gets to that table and sits, he takes boxes and bottles out of the bag. There are a big box that contains the main dishes, a medium box of fruits and pudding in the small box as dessert. While the bottles are for water and juice, also a small cup of milk. “Why do they always put too much on my bento? I even say almost everyday that I couldn’t finish all they prepared.” He talks to himself with small voice, making sure no one will hear him. Hokuto always brings his own bento. The chefs at his mansion say that he has to have foods with good nutrition to keep him healthy since he is always busy with studying and working.
While eating his lunch, Hokuto looks around, screening the room. He sees at the center of the room, that spot is always crowded. A super popular guy in the campus always sits there and everyone will take place as near as to the guy. Who else if it’s not Jesse.
Jesse Lewis, a half of American and Japanese who has a perfect face, is one of the most famous students. Not only handsome, he also is funny and easy going. Expectedly, everyone is happy to be near him. Jesse is an oldest son of a rich family but he never discriminates against others nor looks down on other people. He even cares to anyone and helps whoever needs his help. He is really kind, right? Jesse takes music major and often performs as a singer at campus and around. Sometimes he colaborates with professional singers. Yes, he is that good at singing. No wonder he has a lot of fans, just like a magnet, he keeps drawing people close to him. But, he deserves all the love he gets as he is really everything. Even though, his love –his pure love– is only for one person who sits beside him.
Yugo Kouchi, the name of the person. Yugo is Jesse’s boyfriend. The gossip says that they have been dating since in the middle school. But people always see sweet moments of the both of them and never seen them fight. They are really a happy couple, huh!? Unexpectedly, Yugo is an opposite of Jesse. He is just an ordinary guy, as most people. Kouchi is not a famous family. His academic record is average and no other skill he has. All is just ordinary, nothing special about him. But, I still don’t get why Jesse is so in love with Yugo. Why do people adore Yugo so much while he has nothing but smile that never fades? I am better than him, aren’t I?
Of course, I am. A sole heir of the richest conglomerate in this city, Hokuto Matsumura. No one in this campus doesn’t know me. If someone says 'Matsumura', people will know that the name refers to me. Maybe I'm only in my second year as a college student but I run my family’s business, at the headquarter for sure. Also, all professors at my department often praise me. If you ask why. Of course it’s because my works are always perfect. People might think that I take a business major since I always get good results for all projects I do, but it’s not true. I actually study natural science, that’s why I choose this campus that has the best reputation for the major I take. No doubt, I’m good at anything. Right? Even my face is categorized as the most handsome young business man by a national magazine for these 3 years. I literally have everything. Nothing I don't get.
Yeah, I get anything what I want, but… love. How can someone ordinary like Yugo have big love from others while I can’t? Shouldn’t it be me who sits beside as a wonderful human as Jesse? Won't we be a perfect couple if it’s me and Jesse? Not that I like Jesse actually nor want a boyfriend as perfect as him. I just want to have someone here, giving love to me, as much as Jesse's love for Yugo. Is it wrong? No, right? But why can't I get it? Why can't I get loved, even just for a little? I don’t know what I had done in the previous life that makes I don’t deserve to be loved in this life. Even no one wants to be close to me as a friend. Maybe I am just a mistake.
Hokuto feels enough with both of his lunch and his thoughts. He packs back all boxes and bottles to the paper bag. He stands up and ready to walk out of the room. But suddenly someone blocks his way by sitting on the chair beside him. Hokuto is going to ask the person to step aside for a while before he stops himself after seeing the person's face. His lips slightly open, the words stop at his throat. He couldn’t manage his expression. He couldn’t process things. He just... freezes.
“Sit down.” The other man says while takes the paper bag Hokuto holding. He opens the bento before tasting all the foods. “The chefs' cooking in your family are always great. Can I have these? Your stomach is already full, right?”
Hokuto nods and sits back on his chair. He doesn’t say a single word. His face is full of confusion, regret, and longing. Yes, he is longing this man so bad. He turns to his side, looking the person eating his leftovers. “Juri…”
The man named Juri swallows his food before taking the water and drinking it. He looks back at Hokuto, putting all his attention to him.
“Juri, I… I…” Hokuto actually doesn’t know what he is about to say. He suddenly runs out of words. “I am…”
Juri opens his arms and reaches Hokuto. He hugs Hokuto tightly.
“Juri, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Hokuto finally could say it, the words he wanted to say the most. His voice falters because of his crying.
Juri tightens his hug. He deeply breathes Hokuto’s smell. He is missing this smell, this hug, missing everything from Hokuto. “It’s okay, Hokuto. It was not your fault, but mine. I’m sorry.” Juri calms Hokuto down.
Hokuto feels relief that he could hear Juri's voice again. The voice he always misses all the time. Juri's voice is still soft and warm. He releases the hug and looks straight into Juri's eyes. “Juri, let’s…”
As always, Juri knows what he wanted to say before he even said it. “Okay.” Juri replies him with thin smile on his lips, but the sweetest one, before kissing Hokuto on the lips. They don’t care anymore that they are in public place right now. They just want to vent their longing and convey their love to each other.
Right, this is Juri Tanaka, my beloved ex boyfriend. Um… Maybe I should call him 'my beloved boyfriend', again. He ever loved me with all his heart. He was the only one who took care of me without expecting anything from me. He really loved me, neither for money nor popularity. I couldn't measure how much his love for me, it's so big, maybe as large as Milky Way? That's why I was so dependent on him back then. I loved him and still love him. I couldn’t believe that he now backs to me. He chooses to be with me again. Even without words, I know he still loves me as much as ever. I can feel it through his warm hug, the warmest hug I got. I don’t really have words to describe my lover, because he beyonds all the words he deserves. But, I would like to say one fact that Juri is my sun and moon. And now, my world is shining again. My perfect world. Full with the light of love.
Hokuto is the first one who breaks the kiss. “Juri, thank you.”
“Anything for you, love.”