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Looking around, Shoka quickly realized she had ended up in front of 104. That at least was a good, familiar start. When the Composer - Joshua, her mind helpfully supplied, and where had she heard that name before - told her that they should play a game, the three of them, she'd expected the worst. She had never had the pleasure of meeting the Shinjuku Composer, but she had become wary of Angels from the moment Rindo had explained who, exactly, had caused the whole situation to begin with.
However, she was still in one piece, which was a good sign. It was certainly better then just having to stay as a Reaper even though her heart was no longer in it. And much, much better than just… up and disappearing all together.
She was still getting her bearings when someone bumped into her shoulder roughly. "Don't just stand in the middle of the sidewalk," the older man grumbled out, storming off mumbling something about teenagers.
On instinct, Shoka started to scowl, but then it hit her all at once:
That man had bumped into her. Like she was in the RG.
Quickly, she took inventory of herself - phone, Gatto Nero hoodie, wallet, a few pins… everything she had on her when she was with Rindo after everything. Everything seemed the same, besides that odd occurrence…
Shoka moved herself to the stairwell, going slowly. Her feet didn't feel any different. Her hands didn't either, as she inspected them. But the people around her kept moving around her, as if she really did take up physical space.
Like she was alive, again.
Once she got to a quieter section, over by where the elevator, she allowed herself to take a deep breath. Just to test, she waved to a kid passing by, holding his mom's hand. He waved back.
Shoka was, really, actually, for real alive again. This was the RG. Everyone could see her. And she couldn't tune her frequency back to the UG. In fact, she couldn't see or hear Noise at all - just he regular bustle of the city.
"I'm alive," she breathed out to herself, almost as if the more she thought it, the more she would understand her situation.
"Isn't that something?" A voice startled her, and Shoka realized she'd forgotten that the people around her really could hear her. She turned around in shock, only to be greeted with the Composer once more. Joshua.
For a moment, she just stared at him. Where did one even begin talking to the person who ruled over the city you lived in, who had just… what, allowed you to come back to life? Even though your own rules dictated that you couldn't?
Joshua, however, just smiled at her. It didn't reach his eyes, and it looked more mocking then friendly. "I heard you grew to like my city quite a bit," he continued, not waiting for her to respond.
That, she did know how to respond to. "Shibuya is a really cool place," she said after a moment, eyeing him warily. "But what's that got to do with you bringing me back to the RG?" He opened her mouth, but after saying it, it was like she realized a thousand other things. "And Rindo! Does he know? Is he okay?"
Her fingers gripped the edge of her hoodie tightly. So many things come to mind, realizing now that she is in fact alive and apart of the RG. She hadn't thought to check her phone, check her contacts, go through the RNS to contact probably Kaie to figure out what was going on.
He just laughs at her, though; the sound most definitely more mocking then friendly this time. "Rindo Kanade is in a bit of a panic, but he will be just fine," Joshua said, shrugging as he leaned against the wall. Shoka hadn't noticed, but all the people coming in and out of the area seem to naturally gravitate away from them, even though they are most certainly in the RG. How strange. "As for your other burning questions," he paused, then, and looked almost wistful. At least, it's an expression she would call wistful on someone she were familiar with. Nothing about this person seemed genuine in the slightest. "I guess you could say I owed a friend a favor."
Blinking, she allowed herself a moment to take that in. Who in Shibuya could've possibly warranted a favor from the Composer? Certainly not Shiba, who had already moved on back to Shinjuku and had offered her a choice earlier that day. It had sounded like Shiba had never even met the Composer of Shibuya, anyways. Rindo? No, he'd been just as surprised to see Joshua as she had been.
"Neku?" She asked after a moment. "What does he get from me coming back to life?" She snorted at the thought. "He hardly knows me. We talked, maybe like, twice." They'd worked together just fine with the rest of the Wicked Twisters, but Neku had mostly kept to himself, Rindo, and Beat. He'd been a really nice guy, just a bit quiet.
Considering he'd been mostly alone with his own thoughts for company over in a dead Shinjuku, the quiet made sense, anyways. Shoka didn't know what she would do if she had been alone all that time in dead space. The fact that he'd made the most of it and managed to learn how to scan Soul rather then just RG thoughts was still impressive enough to her.
She frowned. Was that why Joshua was so interested in him? Joshua seemed to catch her train of thought, and shrugged.
The smile he gave her was a bit different then the one he'd been sporting. She'd heard the rumors of Shibuya's Composer's soft spot for his old proxy, but she hadn't expected them to be true. "Let's just say he would've been disappointed if I had allowed your fate to proceed," he said, in a tone that clearly indicated he was done with that line of questioning. As out of tune as Shoka was, she knew better than to press.
They both went quiet again. Joshua seemed content in the silence, watching the people of his city mill about without a care in the world. His eyes, though, showed the power brimming underneath the skin. They almost glowed, in an eerie sort of way.
Shoka, on the other hand, was actively less comfortable. She was alive. She had been returned to the RG. And now she had no choice but to stay that way - even if she hadn't planned on killing herself a second time - because if she were to say anything against it, it would be a direct strike against the Composer.
Part of her wanted to die again just to spite him for putting her in this position. A much, much larger part of her wanted to die again because she'd never wanted to be alive in the first place. But then she thought of Rindo, and how he'd looked at her when she'd shrugged and told him that she would be getting erased, and…
She must have been glaring something fierce while she was spacing out, as Joshua's laughter broke her out of her trance. "I see why he likes you so much," he told her, confusing her further.
"Who?" Neku? It was her only thought, as that is who they'd been talking about, but she had a feeling that he wasn't referring to the conversation they'd been having with words.
"Regardless, use your second lease on life wisely, Shoka Sakurane. Enjoy the moment, or whatever." Joshua waved his hand flippantly, as if the words had lost all meaning, or as if he was repeating some kind of inside joke. Maybe both. "You and my dear partner are both in the same boat, so I'm very interested to see how you both handle the situation. I've done my best to reinstate you both, but there are always complications with these sorts of things. Too bad, I suppose."
Absolutely none of this was making any sense. Shoka opened her mouth to respond with more questions, but by the time she'd started to formulate the words, Joshua had vanished in a quick flash of light. The world around where he had stood moved on without even a stutter.
She groaned into her hands, not caring how loud she was being.
Sitting alone in her apartment - apparently she had her own apartment, go figure - Shoka's thoughts very quickly slipped from hopeful to something very, very different.
Four years ago, she'd killed herself for a reason. A purpose. She'd wanted nothing more than to escape, and those thoughts couldn't be drowned out by anything. Not her parents, not the empty promises they'd make her, not her older sister, and certainly not anyone she knew at school. The medication they forced down her throat, of course, had done nothing. It hadn't been meaningless hallucinations she'd been seeing, and she'd tried to tell them over and over and over again, but nobody had listened.
And nobody from that other world who would freak out if she tried speaking to them would tell her, either. In both worlds, Shoka had been alone.
So she'd done the only thing she could've thought to do at the time. What was the point of living if it wasn't going anywhere? What was the point of trying if it was never good enough? It was all pointless. A quick knot in her ceiling fan one day after school and it was all over.
She barely even remembered her death. It had been another completely useless memory following in the footsteps of thousands.
Of course, though, nothing was ever that easy for her. When she'd first awoken in the streets of Nishi-Shinjuku, she'd been livid. But then the Game started, and she found she rather liked it. Liked the feeling of power drumming in her veins, liked the feeling of being able to completely halt someone else's progress with a flick of her wrist. She hadn't just been good at Psychs, she'd been phenomenal.
When her team won once the week was over, her choice was a no brainer. A chance to join the Reapers - the very people leading the Game she'd quickly fallen in love with - was the easiest choice she'd ever made. She'd taken it without hesitation.
And then, a few years and some time in Shibuya later, now Shoka wasn't sure what to think. She'd never wanted to be alive again, but… the last three weeks had changed her. She would be a fool to think otherwise.
It wasn't just about her willingness to be apart of the UG and the Reapers, either. Meeting Rindo, someone who she'd considered her best friend for so long, changed her. Seeing him change, seeing what had really happened to Shiba and everyone in Shinjuku, seeing what they had worked together to stop in Shibuya, all of it had changed her. Her entire world had been turned upside down.
The friends she'd made, the friends she'd lost, the world she'd fought to save, all of it was so confusing. Now on top of that, she had to adjust back into the RG, too? Into a fake life that the Composer had just conjured up for her, out of the kindness of his own heart?
She laughed aloud at that one. It hadn't been the kindness of his own heart. Joshua had admitted that much to her directly, saying that it was some sort of favor for Neku. Because that made sense. She shook her head, pushing herself up off the couch.
If she had to adjust back to the RG, she might as well get started. Plucking up her phone off the table, Shoka got to work. First order of business: reinstalling FanGO.
"One step at a time," she told herself with a sigh, watching the loading bar a little too intently. "One step at a time."
One week. One singular week had passed since they had won the Game and the Composer of Shibuya had decided she should come back to life. One week for Shoka to question all of existence, wonder why she didn't get a say in whether or not she should get to live, and one week to wonder why Rindo hadn't accepted her friend requests yet.
She had come back to the RG and the only good thing about being alive was currently ignoring her. Hopefully not purposefully, but ignoring her all the same. Great.
Well, she allowed herself to backpedal a bit, that wasn't entirely true. Throughout the week she found out she was in university, apparently, and that she was currently on break. All of the money she'd made while she was a Reaper had stayed in her wallet despite the trip to a different frequency, which had made for a nice shopping spree at Gatto Nero her second day alive. She also found out that while she didn't have any new friends in her contacts, Neku Sakuraba, Joshua Kiryuu, and most of her old Reaper friends were there. Why nobody had bothered to give her Rindo's number - or Fret, or Nagi, or really anyone else from the Wicked Twisters - was still a mystery to her.
She hadn't had the guts to actually message or call anyone yet, besides Kaie. She didn't like to think of herself as a coward, but it was a lot, adjusting to being alive again after four years of not.
In the back of her mind, she wondered how Neku was doing. From what she understood from her time with the Wicked Twisters, he was in a very similar position to her. He'd been trapped in the UG for three years, in an Inverted Shinjuku no less. Maybe if Rindo bothered to respond to either of her requests, they could all meet up and, well, talk about it like adults.
Shoka groaned, wishing she could just fizzle out into existence. Technically, there was nothing stopping her from contacting Neku. Or anyone else besides Kaie. Even if everyone resolutely refused to give her Rindo's number - he should contact you on his own, Kaie kept telling her, like she didn't already know that herself - she could still reach out and make those connections on her own.
One week wasn't a particularly long time to go without talking to many people, but one week also at the moment seemed extremely daunting and overwhelming.
Her thumb hovered over Neku's contact page before switching out of it again. He might have been in a similar situation as she was, but truthfully, that made her want to leave him alone more than it made her want to speak with him. If she was having this much trouble adjusting, she could only imagine what he must be going through. There had been so many people that would have remembered his disappearance in the RG - mainly those friends he had who were a little too in tune for their own good.
Instead, Shoka found herself hovering over Joshua's contact next. She still wasn't quite sure why he had bothered putting his own information in her phone. Did he want her to talk to him? Did he actually care about what happened to her at all, past a superficial level? She highly doubted it. Someone like him probably didn't care about much, making it all the more strange that he'd bothered in the first place.
With a sigh, she figured she was bored enough. Starting from a fresh account on FanGO was really draining, anyways. Not letting herself think about it for too long, Shoka pressed call.
It barely rang. "I'm impressed," the familiar voice greeted her immediately. "I didn't think you'd actually try to call me."
Shoka rolled her eyes. "Then why'd you bother leaving me your contact?" She shot back, unimpressed. Maybe she should've called Neku.
"To see if you would," Joshua replied easily. "And now that you have, I suppose we may as well make the most of it, hm? Why don't you treat me to some curry?" The question was asked much less like a question and more like a statement, and Shoka cursed her inability to do things right the first time around.
Rindo's old power might've been helpful, right then. She could use the trip back twenty minutes ago so she could remind herself that talking to Shibuya's Composer, no matter how all-powerful and all-important he was, was ever an easy or good idea.
"Fine," she huffed, already getting her things together in her brand new bag. The Mr. Mew on it looked at her, eyes blank and impassive as ever, but she couldn't help but feel like ti was judging her poor decision making skills. Me too, she thought to it, hanging up the phone call before he could confirm which curry place.
There were only the places in Dogenzaka, anyways. She'd figure it out.
"Can you give me Rindo's number?" She asked him as soon as they were settled into the booth. Ken Doi seemed to know Joshua quite well, which was… kind of wholesome, in an odd way. She wondered in the back of her mind how often the Composer came out to enjoy his city, if the shopkeepers were familiar with him.
Joshua, however, just side eyed her. "If I wanted to do that, I would've put it in your phone from the beginning," he said, and Shoka resisted the urge to roll her eyes. A difficult feat, indeed. "It would ruin my game if I were to let him find you so easily. Where would be the fun in that?"
Shoka's eyes narrowed. For a moment, she thought about being smart and biting her tongue, trying to go back to her - admittedly very delicious - curry instead. But then she thought about it for a moment, and realized that if the Composer regretted his decision to bring her back to life, that was all the better for her, wasn't it?
So she did no such thing, and scowled at him very openly. Joshua, for his part, looked mildly interested. "The fun in ruining your dumb game," she bit out, "is that humans are not your toys to play with, and I would very much like to remember why I even thought maybe being alive wouldn't be so horrible again?"
It was a little pitiful, Shoka would admit to herself privately, that so much of her vested interest in the RG hinged on Rindo. Maybe even a little unhealthy. Honestly, she didn't care. She'd been dead for years, and had fully come to terms with the fact that she could either rejoin Shiba and the Reapers or she could wither into nothingness. Her time with Rindo had been - special, for lack of a better word, but there was a reason she killed herself in the first place, all those years ago.
Even if Rindo had begun to make her see something else in life. Even if his friendship, and not just with her nameless FanGO account, had made her feel things she hadn't expected to ever feel again; especially not after Shinjuku fell apart.
"Aren't you supposed to be finding all the wonders of being alive, or something?" He asked in return, instead of answering anything she'd said. He sounded more petulant than truly angry, which Shoka supposed she could count her blessings for. "I thought that was the whole point. If it's really true there's not much going for the RG - which I'd agree with, by the way - then I must really have no chance," he mused, and Shoka was suddenly very, very lost.
Talking to him was horribly confusing. Never mind the terrible headache that was beginning to pound behind her eyes. "Uh," she said, raising an eyebrow in confusion, "what are you even talking about? I was talking about how I would very much like to see Rindo, since it's been like, a week. And he's half the reason I wasn't fully satisfied with being erased after all. Not," Shoka paused, partially for dramatic effect and partially to try and give what he'd said another moment to settle in, "whatever you were just talking about?" She had to settle when she couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Then again, she supposed she should've expected this. From the moment he'd appeared in front of she and Rindo, she had a feeling this guy would be nothing but trouble. Why had she reached out to him, again?
Oh, right. Because she was too chicken to call Neku instead. Sigh.
For a moment, Joshua's face was blank, and Shoka thought he might just give in. Or at least steer the conversation back in a way that was relevant. But then he smiled, and it was not at all kind. "No, I think Rindo should work for it," he said, finally at least answering her question. "I'm not exactly known for being charitable. I owed Neku a favor, and he hasn't even had the proper decency to thank me since I sent him back-"
"Uh, Neku was alive before, you know, the whole Shinjuku thing," Shoka cut him off, waving her fork at Joshua as if he wasn't the Composer of the city she resided in. At least she was alive now. Not much jurisdiction over her anymore, she supposed. "Sending him back to the RG after he was shot to save a city that wasn't here is kind of expected?"
"Does that matter?" He replied in kind, taking a large bite of curry to punctuate it. "I'm sure you noticed. You worked together with him. His Soul is…" Joshua trailed off, and Shoka couldn't help but agree.
Not even Rindo's Imagination was as impressive as Neku's. He was in a league all of his own. The three years in Shinjuku had clearly refined him to levels far above what normal humans were capable of, and more impressively, what most Reapers were capable of.
However, that didn't detract from the main point. She frowned. "Yeah, it matters," she told him honestly. "He's still alive, regardless of how amazing he is. If he wants to come to the UG, he will, but he should be able to make that choice for himself."
Like I should have been, she whispered to herself, but quickly drowned the thought out. It didn't matter. She had, once upon a time, made her choice. She had a feeling Joshua had only stepped in because he had noticed the uncertainty in her - she was still choosing between going back to the Reapers and just finally being done with the whole existence thing. She hadn't even expected a do-over as an option, but now that she was here…
"And plus," she continued, "he has people in the RG, too. It wouldn't be fair to keep him from them." Just like it isn't fair to keep me from Rindo, she thought, glaring at him.
Silence. Shoka wondered, idly, if he was just going to teleport away so he didn't have to deal with her anymore. She did have that power over some of the Reapers, back in the day after the move to Shibuya.
After what felt like an hour, Joshua let out a deep, deep sigh, holding his chin in his hands with his elbows on the table. "I suppose that might be true," he conceded, and Shoka felt her jaw drop at the admission. "But that doesn't change the fact that ignoring me is downright rude." He shook his head, eyes narrowing dangerously at her. "You, on the other hand, don't have to suffer like I am. Rindo very much so wants to see you, and there is nothing stopping you. If you want to see him, go find him yourself. I'm not doing your work for you, you know."
His tone was clipped, and Shoka could just nod. When he did flash out of existence, and Ken Doi didn't even flinch, any insight that might have been gained from that afternoon left her in an instant.
And she still didn't have Rindo's number.
It was growing close to two weeks since she'd been unceremoniously dropped back into the RG, and Shoka was slowly starting to lose her mind. Kaie refused to give her swallow account back to her, which was ten kinds of unfortunate, and the only people she'd been in contact with since meeting Joshua for curry last week were Rhyme and, well, Kaie.
Part of that was absolutely her own fault. She'd only left her apartment a handful of times for necessary reasons, when she easily could've gone looking around for someone she recognized. If she were right, Nagi probably went to school here too, and she was sure that Rindo and Fret would stay in contact with her. Not to mention the fact that she could've called anyone else on her contact list - now that Tsugumi and Shiba were back to normal, she had the chance to reconnect with them.
But it was all so overwhelming. She hadn't been alive in so long, and now she was expected to not only assimilate back into the RG with no struggle at all, but also into a life she didn't even live. She had never even thought about going to university before when she was alive. Simply hadn't thought that far ahead. She definitely had considered keeping a relationship up with anyone from her family.
The only things she had with her that still felt like her were her love for fashion and FanGO. And even FanGO was a chore at the moment, what with having to built her account back from the ground up. Ugh.
For a moment, Shoka thought about bothering Kaie again for her old login info. Even just the swallow account, not even the RNS one. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, twitching.
There wasn't a point, really. Shoka knew that. He'd told her no every time thus far, why on earth would that change suddenly? He kept punctuating it with those stupid smilies he used, too. What was it, 2010? Ugh.
With nothing to do, and nothing else to lose, she squared her shoulders. Scrolling through her contacts, she found Neku and pressed the call button before she could think about it too hard.
It rang twice, and both times she heard the sound, she considered instead throwing her phone across the room and pretending this never happened. "Hello?" Neku answered before she could go through with it. "Who is this?"
Shoka took a deep breath. "It's Shoka," she said, feeling herself smile slightly. "How've you been, oh legendary one?"
In an instant, Neku's demeanor changed. "Shoka!" He greeted warmly. In the background, she could hear someone questioning him, but he ignored it. "It's good to hear from you. I was a bit worried," he trailed off for a moment, before redirecting quickly. "Are you adjusting well?" He asked her, and she should've had an answer prepared beforehand.
No. Not at all. Maybe a little? She sighed, shaking her head. "It's been… weird," she settled on after a moment. There were so many things she could say, so many varying levels of weirdness. Neku was likely the only person who would understand it; being out for that long and suddenly being put into a life you didn't remember living. "Still trying to fit into everything properly."
She could hear Neku's wince through the phone. "Yeah, I get that," he agreed. "You and I remember being in the UG for the last few years. Everyone else around us," he paused, and Shoka knew exactly what he was talking about.
Everyone else around us remembers an us that never existed. We just got dropped into a life we never led.
"Is that the girl who likes Gatto Nero?" She could hear a muffled voice ask. "Invite her to join us, Neku!" The voice was feminine and not at all familiar. The only girl she really knew in the RG was Nagi, and it definitely wasn't her.
"I'm assuming you heard that," Neku said, fond exasperation in his tone. Shoka tried to laugh a bit, but it came out much shakier then she would've liked. "Shiki is here, and we were about to head into 104 - did you want to join us?" Though she wasn't sure if the invitation would've stood if she'd caught him alone, Shoka found she didn't mind.
104 wasn't a terrible idea. She still had plenty of money leftover from her days as a Reaper, and according to her schedule, she had a part time job at the university that was due to start back up in two weeks. Some shopping might do her good.
And like she could pass up the chance to finally, actually meet one of Gatto Nero's founders. "Sure, I could use some retail therapy." As she agreed, she was already getting herself up and heading to throw on some shoes. "I can be there in twenty." Maybe less if she tried, but she never really liked breaking a sweat.
Muffled, she could hear the girl cheer. "See you soon, then," Neku said, before clicking off the call.
104 was as busy as always. The amount of people that came in and out of this area of Shibuya was honestly impressive, if not terrifying in its own right. Back when she was a Reaper, or even when she'd first set foot into the UG as a Player, Shoka had loved the fact that she didn't have to move out of the way for anyone. Being able to phase right through someone was a useful skill, and she'd very quickly gotten used to living like that.
She'd always felt invisible anyways. It was just a physical representation of how she always walked.
Now that she was back in the RG for good, she found she did not remember how to avoid people like she thought she did. On her way to the entrance, she bumped into a total of four people… and this was, of course, after the many other she'd bumped into on her way to 104.
How depressing.
Luckily, Shoka didn't have too much time to dwell on how much she sucked at being human again. It wasn't long until she spotted Neku's familiar orange hair and old Gatto Nero jacket. She gave them a small wave, her eyes moving over to the shorter girl that was walking with Neku.
For whatever reason, her mind flashed back to the conversation she'd had the other day with The Composer. This girl, Shiki, was one of the people waiting for him in the RG. That had showed up, without being asked, to simply support him from the sidelines during the final day of the Game.
And she remembered the way she felt, that day, when she thought she was going to be Erased. Watching Rindo and Fret, Rindo and Nagi… watching him with the people he would go back with.
"It's really nice to meet you," Shiki greeted her with a smile, though she didn't crowd her space. Shoka appreciated it. "It makes me really happy to see someone who loves my clothes so much!"
That threw her right back into reality. This was one of Gatto Nero's founders - the girl who brought all the clothes she loved to life. She smiled wide, but then retreated a bit, tugging on her sleeves. "Thank you for making such cool stuff," she settled on saying, feeling odd in her own skin.
Gatto Nero was the brand that first helped her break out of her shell when they arrived in Shibuya. It was the first thing she'd ever bought - in both her living and undead life - that she felt was truly representative of her. Her style, her likes, her image. She ran with it and never looked back. And now here she was, face to face with one half of the team who had made it happen.
Crazy.
"It's good to see you, Shoka," Neku greeted next, after carefully waiting to see if she would say anything else. Her posture relaxed a bit, realizing he really was there. "I'm sure these two weeks have been pretty rough."
She snorted. "That's one way to put it." Pretty rough was kind of light, if she were to be honest. The look he gave her told her that he understood, though. He was going through it too. In the back of her mind, Shoka wondered if it were actually worse for Neku. She might not have had anything to come back to, but in some ways that was better.
Looking between him and Shiki, she realized how much he would've actually missed - and how much she might not realize he missed in the moment. Neku gave her a weak smile, and she returned it.
What a mess.
It wasn't long before the conversation had went from Gatto Nero and fashion to talking about life adjusting back to the RG. In fact, it took longer then Shoka had assumed it would. While Shiki was up near the register chatting with her employee, Neku moved in closer to her.
"Have you heard anything from Rindo?" He asked, curious. "I don't want to get in the middle of whatever Josh is doing, but I hope you see him soon."
Her mood soured considerably. She wished she had good news to give him on Rindo, but that would be a lie. "Have you?" She asked instead, hoping that got her point across enough.
Neku shook his head. "Not really," he said, which actually made her feel slightly better. "I haven't heard from Josh, either, though. I guess everyone is just taking their time to figure things out." Themselves included. Apparently, this was the first time since coming back that Neku and Shiki had actually seen each other face to face. Shoka could relate.
"I thought you and Joshua were," she paused, unsure of how to continue. Friends? It sounded right on paper, but in practice, she wasn't sure. Better to just ignore it and continue, she figured. "I'm surprised he hasn't contacted you. He talked about you the other day."
For a split second, Neku's face scrunched up. It was gone so quickly she was almost sure she imagined it. His eyes instead drifted over to Shiki, who had a bright smile on her face as she was going over some new stock with Miki.
"I wanted to reach out, but he didn't exactly leave me a way to," he said, looking down. "I miss him. I'm sure if I give him time, though, he'll come find me on his own, just like last time." His words were honest, and filled with a sadness Shoka wasn't expecting to hear.
Whatever limited understanding on their relationship she thought she had flew right out the window. "And maybe Rindo will follow," she said finally, hands coming up to cover her face with her hood.
"So how was my dear proxy?" Joshua asked her, after appearing in front of her while she was sitting outside in Miyashita Park.
She stopped herself from jumping at the last second, refusing to let the Composer have that sort of power or satisfaction over her. Instead, Shoka shrugged. "You mean Rindo? Because I still haven't spoken with him yet, no thanks to you," she said, focusing intently on trying to capture the Namazu on FanGO.
It beat paying attention to him, anyways.
He bristled. "I meant Neku," he corrected, as if personally offended. "And I doubt you need me to repeat myself on Rindo, hm?" A finger came up to twirl his hair, and Shoka forced herself to keep focusing on her phone. "But truly, I hope my partner is doing well."
At that, she snorted. "If you wanted him to be doing well, you could've done more to help, you know," she said, shaking her head. "But I guess you've got better things to do?" She probably shouldn't be so antagonistic with the Composer who had not only brought her back to life, but also controlled the city, but she digressed. She had already crossed that line the first one on one conversation they had. Plus, she'd never heard Neku sound that sad before. Granted, she didn't know him well, but the point remained.
Shoka could tell his eyes were on her but resolutely refused to meet them. Maybe she was still a coward after all. "I did all I could," he said slowly. For a long moment, they were both silent. "He asked me for a life in the RG, and I fulfilled that wish. I fulfilled it for you, too. It's not my fault you and Rindo Kanade are choosing to waste it."
She'd friended Rindo everywhere, on all of her new accounts, and two weeks later the friend requests sat untouched in his inbox. He was still very clearly active on FanGO, on… well, everything, but she was left behind. Forgotten. She was there, waiting, ready, and he had chosen…
Shoka sighed, locking her phone and finally meeting Joshua's eyes. It was the first time he'd looked truly human. He looked absolutely exhausted with the situation, with the feelings. She remembered how much Neku missed him, remembered how he looked yesterday, standing with his best friend in her own store, and still thinking about Joshua.
Maybe Rindo was still thinking about her, too. All evidence pointed to the contrary, but she'd been wrong before. Been wrong about him before.
"But you still have a chance," she reminded him, choosing not to reply about Rindo. It wasn't something that she knew how to verbalize yet, anyways. "He chose to not stay in the UG. Nowhere in that did he ever chose to not know you." Shoka was almost positive it was the opposite.
For a moment, Joshua's eyes flickered between her and the sky. His whole being seemed to flicker, with it. Shoka didn't say anything to keep him there.
She wanted to be alone with her thoughts for a bit, too.
After both her meeting with Neku and her subsequent conversation with Joshua, Shoka was determined to start getting out more and readjusting better. Maybe Rindo really had moved on with his life. Maybe he didn't want anything to do with the UG anymore. And maybe she'd just have to accept that. Sitting around and staring at her phone, hoping for the pending status to change wasn't getting her anywhere, anyways.
And what was the point of being granted life again if she were just going to sit around and dread having to live it? It would be no different than if she were back as a Reaper just waiting for Erasure. It had been a month now, since she'd been brought back, but only for the last two weeks was she actually feeling like she was trying.
She was about to pass Hachiko Cafe, considering stopping in for lunch, but two familiar boys inside stopped her in her tracks. Right next to the window was Neku, sitting with… Shibuya's Composer.
She couldn't see Neku's face from this angle, but he was clearly talking very animatedly - his hands moving quickly but carefully, as to not knock over his drink. From across from him, Joshua sat with the most gentle expression she'd ever seen the boy wear. He was watching Neku speak with interest, eyes lit up as he listened. Shoka couldn't help but stop in her tracks and watch them, for a minute.
While she'd never seen them interact, only heard about it vaguely from both Neku and Beat, she didn't think she'd ever seen Neku so relaxed. Not even the other day, when he was with Shiki in a place that was comfortable for him. It was as if the weight on his shoulders completely evaporated in the other boy's presence. And Joshua, difficult as he was to read on any given day, mirrored him, looking comfortable as ever in the booth.
Shoka smiled wide, watching them. It seemed like her words had gotten through his thick skull, and she was glad for it. Neku, more than almost anyone she knew, deserved to be happy. So what if he wanted to have his cake and eat it too? In this circumstance, he most certainly got a pass. Nobody should save a city twice and get nothing to show for it.
And if Joshua was what he wanted, what made him happy, well… she wasn't one to judge other's happiness.
Right as she was about to continue to head to Justice Burger instead for lunch, Joshua finally noticed her. Though his smile stayed trained on Neku, he shot her a wink before returning his full attention to his date.
"What was that about?" She asked herself, before taking a deep breath to head across Scramble Crossing.
Two weeks of this made her a bit comfortable walking around in the RG, but she still was terrible at avoiding people. The amount of people she knocked into still assuming she'd go right through them was ridiculous.
Right when she thought she had gotten into a good rhythm of sidestepping people in the crosswalk, her shoulder hit hard into someone else. Ouch.
"Oh, sorry!" She called out, completely embarrassed. Her head was staring down at her feet, unwilling to even look up. She'd been doing so well.
The other person brushed it off well enough, at least. "No, it's okay," he said, and Shoka froze.
She'd know that voice anywhere, never mind the fact that she'd only heard it in person for three weeks. It was like it had become ingrained into her very soul.
"Rindo?" She asked, bringing her eyes up to stare. There was no one else it could be - blonde mop of hair, same old Jupiter of the Monkey jacket, mask still on his face. This was the person she'd known for so long in FanGO. The person she'd watched change over the three weeks of the Game. The person she… "It is… you, right?"
Rindo, for his part, seemed shocked, then elated, then shocked again. He reached out hesitantly, almost as if he wasn't sure she were real, before he let his hand drop back to his side. "Shoka?" He hadn't forgotten about her at all. Actually, he seemed to be in a state of disbelief that she was real; the relief and excitement palpable in the air between them.
She smiled, the brightest she had since returning to the RG.