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Levi hates Christmas.
He hates the repetitive Christmas music playing over the speakers at the coffee shop where he works, and he hates the smell of peppermint and gingerbread that overpowers the place, and he hates the lights and he hates the holly and he hates every little thing about Christmas. The fact that it’s also his birthday just makes it worse. You don’t get much of a birthday celebration when everyone else is getting presents, too.
When the manager of his coffee shop makes everyone wear Santa hats for the month of December, Levi considers armed rebellion. But it’s his job, and he’s got to support himself somehow, so he sucks it up and puts on the damned hat on December 1.
On December 2, Levi works the morning rush hour shift. It’s the most stressful, hectic time of day at a coffee shop; oddly, Levi kind of prefers it. He makes a big tip, he doesn’t have time to talk to anyone, and his customers are just as grumpy as he is. Besides, he’s become a pretty skilled barista in the years of working there. The morning shift is his time to shine.
So on December 2, Levi makes triple mochas and peppermint lattes in the blink of an eye, yelling out names and putting steaming cups in the hands of waiting customers. The only thing dampening his mood is the stupid hat on his head.
Levi brews a gingerbread latte and calls out the name written on the cup. “Erwin!” No one’s there to take it, so he places the cup on the counter and returns to his machines.
When he turns back, Erwin’s cup is still there. He calls out the name of the next customer and then yells for Erwin again. Whoever this guy is, he’s either deaf or dumb. Most of the suits coming through for their coffee don’t let their drinks sit for a second.
Levi leaves the cup on the counter again as he brews another drink. That drink’s customer is waiting and takes it as soon as it’s ready. Just like this Erwin should have done.
Levi picks up the gingerbread latte and yells again. “Gingerbread latte for Erwin! Come and get your drink before I drink it myself.”
He’s about to slam the drink down on the counter when a large gloved hand wraps around the cup. Their fingers touch.
“I’m terribly sorry about that,” the apparently deaf man says. “I received a very important phone call, and I was so caught up that I didn’t hear you. I hope I didn’t cause any trouble.”
Levi looks up, about to tell this guy off for holding up the line, but he’s caught off guard by what he sees. With a name like “Erwin” and his inability to grab his drink in a timely manner, Levi had expected some doddering old man. Erwin is anything but. He seems young, though his clothes clearly identify him as some kind of professional, and probably a rich one at that. He wears a tailored pea coat with a light blue scarf and black gloves, his blond hair is neatly parted to one side. Blue eyes that match his scarf look down from a ridiculously tall height.
Along with Christmas, other things Levi hates include tall people and rich people. Levi hates this man on sight.
But he has a backlog of orders to attend to, so he just makes a dismissive noise and says, “Pay more attention next time.”
*****
On December 3rd, Levi makes another gingerbread latte and doesn’t think anything of it until he sees the name “Erwin” written on the cup.
Erwin!” he calls when the latte’s made. “Hurry up, I’m not waiting for you again.”
“Don’t worry, I’m prepared.” Erwin seems to appear from nowhere, sliding out from crowd of people and showing up to Levi’s right. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you waiting twice.”
“Just take your shitty Christmas drink and get out of here.”
*****
On December 4th, Levi again makes a gingerbread latte for Erwin. Again, Erwin responds promptly when called.
“Good job,” Levi says sarcastically. “You did it right twice in a row.”
“Why, thank you,” Erwin says, utterly unruffled by the bite behind Levi’s words. In fact, he seems somehow pleased.
*****
On December 5th, Levi makes Erwin’s gingerbread latte and hands it over without comment.
“No sarcastic comment?” Erwin says.
Levi glares at him. “Were you looking forward to one?”
“I have to admit, I was,” Erwin says.
“Move along, blondie.”
Erwin smiles and leaves, apparently satisfied.
*****
On December 6th, Erwin comments that Levi looks good in his Santa hat. It takes a great deal of effort to not jump over the counter and deck him.
*****
By December 7th, Levi knows to look for Erwin. He spots him among the crowd of morning commuters waiting for their drinks, and Erwin is looking right at Levi.
When Levi turns around to hand out the drink, Erwin’s already at the counter to accept it. “Thank you, Levi,” he says.
Levi wears a name tag, so it’s no surprise that Erwin knows his name. But still, being called by name before introducing himself feels very jarring. Levi doesn’t like the way his name sounds in Erwin’s voice. It’s smooth and low and just really off, somehow.
“First name? Are we best buddies now?”
Erwin only smiles. “Would you like to be?”
“No.”
*****
December 8th and 9th are days off for Levi. When he comes back on December 10th, Erwin doesn’t come during the morning rush. Levi tries to tell himself that he isn’t at all disappointed.
He doesn’t need to be disappointed for long, though. In the early afternoon, towards the end of Levi’s shift, Erwin arrives.
The coffee shop is quiet at this point. The morning rush has ended and the evening rush hour has yet to begin. Most of their customers are working, and their only patrons are some suits finishing up their lunch breaks and a college student staring helplessly at his laptop screen.
Levi bends over a latte, where he works on creating a holly leaf out of steamed milk. One of the few things that keeps Levi from quitting that place is the chance to make latte art during the slow hours. He’s gotten pretty good at it over the years, and he’s come to actually enjoy it, too. The focus and the precision needed to make a lump of milk actually look like something is oddly soothing, and there’s always the satisfaction of the surprised delight his customers show.
Levi finishes his work and carries the coffee out to the customer, relishing the soft gasp she gives when she sees the perfectly formed image.
He’s actually feeling pretty good when Erwin walks in and ruins the mood. All at once, Levi’s both pissed and relieved. On the one hand, Levi had been wondering where Erwin was, why he hadn’t shown up, and what would happen when he did. On the other hand, Erwin irritates him. And just as Levi is getting used to the idea that he won’t show, the door chimes and there he is.
Levi doesn’t react. He returns to his place behind the counter and begins wiping down the (already clean) equipment.
“Good afternoon.”
Levi throws down his rag and approaches the register. He’s the only one on besides the manager taking stock in the back room, so Levi, unfortunately, has to serve this man himself.
“Gingerbread latte?” Levi asks in a bored voice.
“Please.”
“Four seventy-five.”
Erwin hands over a five. As Levi makes his change, he says, “I must say, I missed you these past couple days.”
“I do have days off sometimes,” Levi deadpans.
“And I don’t begrudge you that in the slightest. I have to say, though, that the latte didn’t taste quite as good without you making it.”
“Hm. One thirty-five is your change. For here or to go?”
“For here, please.”
Fuck. That meant that Erwin would sit around the place, and Levi would have to look at him for who knows how long.
“Coming right up,” he grumbles before turning around to work on the drink.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Erwin slip a bill in his tip jar. He then retires to an armchair in the corner and takes out a newspaper. Levi looks up at him every now and then. At one point, their eyes meet across the room. Levi looks back down quickly.
This cup’s latte art takes even more care than usual. Levi carries it over proudly when he’s done.
“Why thank you, Levi,” Erwin says. He folds his newspaper in half and looks at the drink set before him, merely raising his eyebrows when he sees that the milk has been shaped into a large white hand giving him the middle finger.
“You’re very skilled,” Erwin says simply.
“Thanks.”
Levi returns to wiping down the equipment, but he keeps a watch on Erwin out of the corner of his eye. He sees the amused look on Erwin’s face and the content smile as he takes a sip of the drink. Levi’s stomach feels funny. It feels like it’s lurching a little.
Erwin ends up leaving just five minutes before it’s time for Levi to go home. He catches Levi’s eye from across the room and nods before just stepping outside. Levi’s tempted to give him the real version of what was drawn on his coffee, and he’s only stopped by the presence of his boss behind him.
Levi empties out his tip jar before he goes, counting out the ones and the change as he does every day before pausing at something very off—a ten dollar bill. No one ever gives such a big tip.
He turns the bill over. On the back, at the very top of the bill, someone has written the words “Erwin Smith.” And crammed on the bottom is a phone number.
*****
The next day is Saturday, so Erwin doesn’t show up for the morning rush. He does, however, show up around lunch time. Levi looks up when the door chimes and keeps his eyes on Erwin as he crosses the shop. He appears as confident as ever, and just as well-dressed as he is on the week days. Levi’s stomach does that weird lurching thing again.
Erwin approaches the counter and smiles warmly at Levi. Levi responds by slamming the ten dollar bill down on the counter.
“The fuck is this?” he asks.
Erwin blinks as though surprised. “I beg your pardon?”
“What were you thinking, giving me this?”
“That you deserved a large tip.”
“Don’t you fucking mess with me.”
“And I was thinking that you’re attractive and interesting, and I’d like to talk more with you,” Erwin finishes smoothly.
The calmness of his answer just pisses Levi off more. No one’s that calm when they’re confronted. He desperately wants to see Erwin frazzled, just once, just to prove he’s human. “Well it was creepy and unwanted,” he spits.
“I’m sorry,” Erwin says. He’s making eye contact with Levi and speaking earnestly. Levi just glares back. “I didn’t mean to offend, and I hope it wasn’t too upsetting for you. I only wanted to express interest in a subtle way.”
Levi huffs. Maybe he was overreacting; it definitely would have been weirder if Erwin had come on to him in any other way. Still, it had freaked him out. He had spent the past twenty-four hours thinking about that series of numbers on the bottom of the bill, and what that had meant, and what would happen if he called it . . .
“Whatever, just take your gingerbread latte.”
“I’ll take it to go, please,” Erwin says. He sounds a little regretful as he does.
*****
Levi’s off the next day. When he comes to work the morning rush on Monday, Erwin isn’t there. He’s not there on Tuesday, either.
Wednesday, he finally shows up. Levi feels a bit of relief when he sees that blond head towering over everyone else. He had been a little worried that Erwin’s absence was his fault.
When Levi calls out his name, though, Erwin just takes his drink with a curt nod and leaves. No thanks, no banter. And Levi can’t help but feel a little disappointed.
When the same thing happens on Thursday, Levi decides to respond. “Look,” he says, “Just because I don’t want to date you . . .”
But Erwin never heard him begin, and he’s already disappearing into the crowd. A young woman next to him looks at him askance.
“Were you talking to me?” she asks.
“Why on earth would I be talking to you?” Levi snaps, rather more harshly than necessary.
*****
Friday is a day off, which means he has a lot of time to think. Much to his frustration, he spends most of it thinking about Erwin.
It’s now December 17th, well over two weeks since he first met Erwin. Though for the amount of time Levi spends thinking about him, it seems like much longer. Levi doesn’t understand why he can’t get this one annoying customer out of his head.
It’s stupid, of course. Levi barely knows Erwin, and for all he knows he’s not talking as much because his dog just died or something. But as much as he tells himself that he’s being stupid, over Levi can’t stop his mind from returning to the issue.
And so, eventually, Levi gives up and does the stupidest thing he could possible do. He sends Erwin a text.
“Why have you been so weird and quiet?” Short and to the point.
And then Levi remembers to add, “This is Levi by the way. The barista.”
Then Levi puts his phone down in his room, and leaves it. Now that the text is sent, he’s not going to constantly check his phone for a response. Erwin will probably ignore it, and if he doesn’t, Levi will get the response eventually. Levi goes into the living room to relax for the rest of his day off.
Ten minutes later, he grabs his phone off his nightstand and slips it in his pocket.
Levi distracts himself with TV and some microwave hot chocolate until Erwin responds one hour later. When the phone vibrates, he yanks it out of his pocket and anxiously scans his eyes over the message.
“Levi, I’m surprised you texted me, but I’m happy to hear from you. I simply presumed that you would be happiest if I left you to your own devices. I hope I didn’t cause any offense.”
Of course the asshole would respond like that. And Erwin’s point did make plenty of sense—Levi had clearly told him to fuck off, and that’s what Erwin had done. Levi began and deleted five different messages before sending his own response.
“Just because I don’t want to date you doesn’t mean I want a cold shoulder.”
Erwin responds quickly this time. “I’m glad to hear that. If you’re comfortable with friendship, I’d be more than happy to return to our old banter.”
Levi reads the message twice. The word “friendship” seems off to him. He doesn’t want Erwin’s friendship . . . but he definitely doesn’t want to date Erwin. He just wants Erwin’s . . . attention.
“Good,” he texts back. “I need someone to snap at. Gets out the day’s frustrations.”
“I’m glad to be of service,” Erwin replies.
“Why do you always talk like you’re writing some kind of essay?” Levi types out. It is a genuine question he has (who actually says things like “glad to be of service”?), but more than that he doesn’t want to conversation to end so soon. He needs to talk to Erwin a bit more to figure out where they actually stand. At least, that’s how Levi explains to himself the odd need to continue hearing from Erwin.
“I can’t say I know what you mean,” Erwin says, exemplifying exactly what Levi means.
“You always sound so formal.”
“I like to be polite.”
“You sound like a pretentious ass.” While waiting for Erwin to respond to that, Levi saves Erwin’s number to his phone.
“I’m sorry to hear that. I shall strive to lessen the ubiquity of my pretentious utterances in the future.”
“Fuck you.”
Erwin merely responds by asking, “Are you working tomorrow?”
Levi’s stomach lurches, just a little. If Erwin’s asking, that means he wants to see Levi. “Yes,” Levi types out.
“Then I will await our encounter eagerly.”
*****
The next day, it snows. Light flurries complement the stockings hanging in the coffee shop’s window for a quintessential Christmas scene. Snow is definitely an item on the list of things Levi hates, and he’s not looking forward to walking home in this mess.
It’s a weekend, so Erwin doesn’t need to come in for the morning rush. Instead, he shows up around one in the afternoon. Levi’s ready for him.
“Good afternoon,” Erwin says.
“That’s what I was talking about,” Levi says, punching Erwin’s order into the computer before he can ask for it. “Why does it always have to be good afternoon? Why can’t it be hi?”
Erwin smiles. It’s a genuine smile, crinkling the corners around those blue eyes. Usually, Erwin looks severe, but when he smiles he looks kind and gentle. Not that Levi’s noticed. “Hi, Levi,” he says softly.
Levi isn’t ready to hear his name on Erwin’s lips again. He stares pointedly at his computer screen and says, “Your gingerbread latte will be $4.75.”
Erwin pushes the cash across the counter. “I’d like it for here, please. I’m eager to see what you draw.”
Unfortunately, after the middle finger Levi is fresh out of ideas. He usually does generic seasonal-themed pictures, but he can’t do that for Erwin. After thinking while he brews the drink, Levi settles for the only idea he can come up with.
Erwin looks up eagerly when Levi brings it over. He peers down at the drink in a brief moment of confusion before bursting into laughter.
“Is that my face?” he asks.
“Yup.”
“Wow.” Erwin examines every detail of the picture. Levi’s done a pretty good job, capturing everything from Erwin’s square jaw to the part in his hair. He’s even created Erwin’s features with the dark coffee. “My eyebrows aren’t that thick, are they?”
“Are you insulting my art?”
“Not at all. I’d never dream of it.” He looks up and catches Levi’s eye. “Thank you, Levi.”
Levi shrugs. He can’t think of what to else say, so he just returns to his work.
Shortly after, Levi’s shift ends. He clocks out, shrugs he coat on, and is just about to walk out the door when he sees Erwin standing up and getting ready to go.
“Are you leaving?” Erwin asks.
“My shift’s over,” Levi says. He doesn’t quite know what’s going on, but he knows that he cannot, under any circumstances, walk out that door with Erwin.
“I’ll walk with you.”
“Don’t bother.”
“Are you driving home?” Levi shakes his head. He doesn’t have a car. He’ll be walking to the bus stop, three blocks away, in order to get home.
“Let me give you a ride,” Erwin says. “It’s nasty weather to be walking.”
“It’s nasty weather to be driving in, too,” Levi says.
“The snowfall is light enough that it shouldn’t be a problem,” Erwin replies. “But my car does handle very well in the snow.”
“No.” Levi puts a hand on the door, ready to walk out and leave Erwin behind. “Shop rules, I can’t accept any tips larger than ten dollars from a customer. Bye.”
He leaves. The snow is light, but it’s left slushy, half-frozen puddles on the sidewalk. The minute Levi steps outside, his feet are soaked.
“Are you sure you don’t want a lift?” Erwin appears behind him, and he definitely saw Levi stepping into a pile of wet slush. “It would be my pleasure.”
Levi looks down at his soaked, freezing shoes and sighs. “Fine,” he says. “If you’re going to fucking force me.”
“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“Just show me your fucking car.”
“It’s right over here.” Erwin gestures to a silver car parked on the street directly in front of them.
Levi stalks over to it and, in the process, manages to sink deep into the snow bank on the side of the road.
Erwin’s car has leather seats and a clean smell. It looks new, though Levi doesn’t know much about cars and can’t name the make or model. Still, he knows enough to tell that it’s nice. It’s comfortable and classy and it has buttons on the dashboard for features Levi probably couldn’t even name. Erwin turns the car on and lets Levi sit in the heat as he wipes the snow off his windshield.
Then Erwin slides into the car and pulls out into the road. The going is slow in the snow, and the windshield wipers make a soft squeak as they brush snowflakes away. It’s the only sound in the awkwardly quiet car.
“Where do you live?” Erwin asks.
Levi lives in a tiny apartment over the garage of a single-family house. It’s a shitty living space and he really doesn’t want Erwin to see it. “Turn right up here,” he says reluctantly.
They fall back into the awkward silence. Levi looks out at the white world and wonders if walking in the snow would have really been that bad, after all.
“Should I put on some music?” Erwin asks.
“Sure,” Levi says without any enthusiasm.
Erwin switches on the radio, and the cheery sleigh bells of Christmas music fill the car. Levi lets out a soft noise of disgust.
“Do you dislike Christmas music?”
“I was just listening to it in the shop for eight hours,” Levi says.
“Fair enough.” Erwin changes the station. This one is also playing Christmas music. So is the one after that. Erwin switches to a pop station, where Taylor Swift enthusiastically tells them to shake it off.
“Anything but this,” Levi says.
“I find it very catchy,” Erwin says. But he obliges by changing the channel, again finding Christmas music.
“Whatever. Keep it. I don’t care.”
Erwin chuckles softly. “The radio can be quite a disappointment sometimes.”
“Hmph. Turn left up here.”
Erwin carefully makes the directed turn. “So,” he asks, “How long have you been at the coffee shop?”
Levi also hates small talk. But it’s necessary right now. He turns to look back out the window and says, “Five years.”
“That’s quite some time.”
“I’ve spent it honing my latte art,” Levi deadpans.
“And you’ve put the time to good use.”
Levi almost snorts. He can hardly call five years at a coffee shop time put to good use.
“And what do you do?” Levi asks. It’s something he’s been wondering for a while, but he tries to pass the question off as uninterested as possible.
“I’m a lawyer.”
Levi does snort this time. “Figures,” he says.
Erwin only raises his eyebrows. “Why does that figure?”
“Because you’re rich and obnoxious.”
“Hm.” Erwin considers this for a moment with a restraint that’s almost laughable. This calm probably serves him well in the courtroom. “What makes you think I’m rich?”
“Because you buy our overpriced coffees every fucking day.”
“Only during the Christmas season. I love the holiday drinks.”
“Whatever. Turn right here.”
Erwin turns onto Levi’s street. Over here, it’s quiet, and few cars have passed. The street hasn’t been properly cleared yet, so there’s a light covering of snow on the ground.
“Pull over up here.”
“Is this where you live?” Erwin asks.
“It’s close. I don’t trust you enough to give you my address.”
“Fair enough.”
Erwin pulls over and parks the car. He turns to face Levi, and there’s another moment of awkward silence. From the radio, Mariah Carey passionately tells them what all she wants for Christmas is.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” Erwin asks.
“No. I have tomorrow off.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
And then there’s a pause. Levi looks at Erwin and wonders what the hell he was thinking to let Erwin drive him home. And then he keeps looking at him. He looks at his disgustingly neat pea coat and his ugly light blue scarf and notices how perfectly the scarf brings out Erwin’s eyes. How many guys actually buy clothes that bring out their eyes? It’s ridiculous. And everything about Erwin’s appearance, from the perfectly parted hair to his clean shaven face to the neat, tailored coat is so well kept it pisses Levi off. Erwin definitely knows how attractive he is, and he definitely plays it up. What a vain, smug bastard.
Levi isn’t aware he’s leaning in for a kiss until it’s too late to go back.
Erwin finishes the distance between them. He catches his hands on either side of Levi’s head, the soft leather of his gloves pressing against Levi’s cheeks while his fingers tangle in Levi’s hair. Erwin tastes sweet; he tastes clean and fresh and faintly like a gingerbread latte. Levi pushes up into those lips to taste more.
Then they pull away, breathless, and Erwin says, “I thought you weren’t interested.”
“Shut up,” Levi says. He fists his hand in Erwin’s stupid blue scarf and pulls him down for another kiss.
This one’s messier than before. Their lips press against each other’s haphazardly and fervently. Erwin sighs, and Levi uses the part in his lips to push their kiss a little deeper. He’s sucking on Erwin’s bottom lip while Erwin’s tongue darts out little by little.
Erwin pulls away eventually, but he keeps his face close to Levi’s. Their noses nearly touch, and his hands are still pressed against either side of Levi’s head. “Let me take you out to dinner,” Erwin breathes.
“Sure,” Levi says. He’s not fully aware of what’s going on, but saying yes seems like the best option right now.
“Tomorrow,” Erwin says.
“Ok.”
Erwin kisses him again. Levi unconsciously leans forward a little, reaching for a longer kiss, when Erwin finally pulls away for the last time.
“I’ll pick you up from here tomorrow night.”
“Fine.”
Erwin’s hands drop away from Levi’s face. His face feels cold. “Goodnight, Levi.” It’s only two o’clock. Levi realizes this distantly, but he can’t quite care.
“Goodnight, Erwin,” he says in response.
*****
Levi wears his one dress shirt and his one tie for the date, and it’s a good thing he does. The restaurant is fancier than anything he’s ever been too. Erwin’s pulling out all the stops for him, and Levi can’t figure out why he’d do so, but it’s secretly satisfying to know that Erwin’s showing off for him.
The meal goes surprisingly well. There are only a few awkward moments, and those occur at the beginning of the conversation. Despite their different backgrounds, they end up talking easily. When they run out of common ground, their sarcastic banter suffices. It’s something of a mental exercise to keep up with one another, something of a game. Now that Levi’s no longer hiding his feelings from himself, he realizes just how embarrassingly flirtatious their interactions were. No wonder Erwin had given his number.
They split a chocolate cake for dessert. The two of them lean over the table, the candlelight playing with the shadows on their faces. Sharing food is strangely intimate, and as they eat they end up leaning in closer and closer.
“So, what are you doing for Christmas?” Erwin asks him.
“Nothing.”
Erwin looks up in surprise. Levi’s learned that his surprised looks are much calmer than most people’s. Raised eyebrows, maybe slightly widened eyes. Everything else stays composed.
He’s learning a lot about Erwin’s face that night.
“Nothing at all?” Erwin asks.
“Nothing at all.” Levi shrugs. “I don’t have much family.”
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m not. I hate Christmas.”
Erwin, thankfully, does not comment on that.
They finish and Erwin pays the (massive) bill. Then they walk through the bitterly cold air back to Erwin’s car. Their hands aren’t touching, but they’re close.
“Turn the heat on, it’s fucking freezing,” Levi gripes as soon as he gets in.
Erwin obeys without comment. “Levi,” he says as he flips the switches of his heat. “I’d like to see you again.”
“You see me every day at the coffee shop,” Levi says.
“That’s not what I mean,” Erwin says softly.
Levi sticks his hands in his coat pockets to warm them up, looking out the window distractedly. “Okay,” he says.
“I’d like to see you on Christmas. I also have no plans.”
Levi looks back at Erwin, scrutinizes his face as if looking for same hint that he’s lying.
“I also do not have much in the way of family,” Erwin says as an explanation.
“Really?” Levi asks incredulously. He has no reason to doubt Erwin, he’s just always assumed that Erwin had . . . well, everything. And that would include a family.
“Yes. My parents have passed away, and extended family is too remote to warrant a visit.”
“Oh . . . sorry.” Levi wishes he hadn’t asked like that.
“Would you like to spend Christmas day with me?”
“Um, sure.”
Erwin smiles in a way that lights those obnoxious blue eyes up. “Thank you,” he says.
*****
Things at the shop for the next few days are . . . weird. But not bad. Not bad at all.
The next morning, when Erwin comes in for his coffee, their banter is normal. But their fingers touch when Levi hands over the cup, and Erwin lingers for just a little bit longer than usual.
The following morning, Levi gives him a larger size than he ordered. He doesn’t even know if Erwin wants a larger size, but it feels like the right thing to do.
And the morning after that, Erwin appears at the counter long before Levi calls him. “I have to say, you look lovely today,” he says.
Levi’s wearing his uniform green polo and khaki pants, and the idiotic Santa hat is on his head. “This is how I look every day,” he says.
“Exactly,” says Erwin.
Levi rolls his eyes and practically shoves the coffee into Erwin’s hand. “Get out of here,” he says.
Have a good day, Levi,” Erwin says before leaving.
Levi doesn’t let himself smile until Erwin leaves. But as soon as he’s sure Erwin can’t see, Levi’s grinning from ear to ear.
*****
Erwin doesn’t show up on Christmas Eve. He sends Levi a text with his condolences and an explanation that he had the day off and had decided to stay in. Levi doesn’t really blame him, but he can’t help but feel like something is missing in his day.
And then, finally, it’s Christmas Day. Levi wakes up that morning with an anxious knot in his stomach. He forces himself out of bed, looks at himself in the bathroom mirror and mutters, “Happy fucking birthday.” Another wasted year passed, another one coming up.
He gets ready and then wastes away the morning watching A Christmas Story on TV. Erwin’s going to pick him up that afternoon, and he hasn’t said what he plans to do. Levi doesn’t like the uncertainty.
Since he’s already worn his one tie, Levi puts on his one nice sweater and a pair of dark jeans. Whatever he wears, Erwin will definitely look better than him. It almost doesn’t matter.
He’s definitely not feeling ready when Erwin’s car pulls up at the corner of his street. But when he slides into the car, Erwin takes his face in both hands and kisses him, and Erwin’s lips melt away Levi’s nerves like a fire melting snow.
Erwin pulls away slowly, his right hand lingering along the curve of Levi’s jaw. “Hi,” he says.
“Hi.”
“Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah.”
Erwin has a stupid grin on his face as he pulls into the street. Levi is distantly aware that he wears a stupid grin, too.
“Are you hungry for lunch?”
“Sure,” Levi says, still a little dazed.
“I know just the place.”
The restaurant Erwin takes him to is cozy, very different from the classy place they ate at a few days earlier. There’s dark paneling on the walls and a fire crackling against the back wall. Erwin and Levi get a corner booth together, and they talk as though they are the only people in the room.
Levi ends up telling Erwin more in one day than he usually tells people in months. Erwin inspires that kind of confidence, somehow. He’s strong and solid, and Levi’s instinctually trusts him with more ease than he could ever trust anyone before. So Levi tells him about how he was raised by a shitty father, how he got a job at the coffee shop right out of high school to cut ties but was barely able to support himself. And in turn, Erwin tells him about his parents’ deaths at the hands of a drunk driver, and how the mishandling of that driver’s trial inspired him to become a lawyer. By the end of the meal, Levi feels closer to Erwin than he’s felt to anyone in a long time.
Erwin pays, and the two of them step outside. Snow crunches underneath their feet, and their breath mingles into a cloud of mist before them. But despite everything, Levi feels warm. “Would you like to come to my place for the rest of the day?” Erwin asks.
“Sure.” Levi never really expected to do anything else.
He sits down in Erwin’s car. The drive is warm and peaceful, and Levi keeps looking over at Erwin. Each time, he notices something new to stare at. The way Erwin’s jaw curves; his pale, almost translucent eyelashes; the straight, chiseled shape of his nose.
Erwin lives in a house on the edge of town. It’s not too big, but it’s impressive all the same. Hardwood floors, granite countertops, thick plush rugs and a large TV. Everything that screams class and comfort. Levi follows Erwin through the rooms, looking around him and taking in every detail. The place is broad and spacious, and has a faint smell to it that’s also in Erwin’s car. Something clean and fresh, but something darker and more masculine underneath it.
Erwin takes him through the entryway and into the living room. Levi pokes his head into the kitchen. “The house is very clean,” he remarks.
“Yes, I know. People have commented that it’s odd. A more normal bachelor living on his own would be a little messy, apparently.”
Levi shakes his head. “No one should ever be messy,” he says. He settles himself onto Erwin’s couch and lets himself sink down into the soft leather.
“Making yourself at home?” Erwin asks.
“Yup.”
Erwin smiles affectionately. “I actually have something for you. I’m sorry if it’s a bit presumptuous.”
Levi sits up a little at this. “You mean a Christmas present?”
“Yes.”
Levi sometimes gets a handful of small presents from his coworkers. Everyone else who would have gotten him presents is either dead or out of his life. He watches with interest as Erwin goes into the kitchen. He opens a cabinet and comes back with a small, cube-shaped box wrapped in red paper.
“Well, uh, I actually have something for you too,” Levi says awkwardly. “But I wasn’t sure if you’d want it . . . I mean I wasn’t sure if we’d be giving presents . . . So I didn’t wrap it . . . It’s in my coat pocket,” Levi finishes lamely. He feels guilty for not giving as much thought as Erwin clearly did. But then again, a second date usually didn’t mean they were at the presents stage. Did it?
“Really?” Erwin sits down next to Levi. He doesn’t express anything but excitement at the idea of a present from Levi.
“Yeah, hold on.” Levi gets up and retrieves the present from where his coat is hanging in the entrance hall. He faintly feels his face getting warmer. By the time he returns to Erwin and hands over the gift, his face is burning.
“What’s this?” Erwin asks.
Levi just shrugs. “It’s just a tie,” he says. It’s actually a silk tie from the best store he could afford. It’s light blue.
“I don’t have any of this color,” Erwin says.
“Your scarf’s that color,” Levi says. “I mean, I noticed . . . I mean . . .”
“Ah, yes, it is. A friend convinced me to buy that scarf. They said it matched my eyes.”
“Well, uh, I thought it looked good on you, so.”
Erwin gives Levi a peck on the lips that leaves him frozen. “That was very thoughtful of you,” he says.
“Um, yeah, whatever,” Levi mumbles.
“Would you like to open yours?”
Levi takes the red box off the coffee table. He peels the paper back carefully, not wanting to rip it, because he can’t remember the last time someone wrapped a gift for him. Under the paper is a cardboard box, and from out of the box Levi pulls a red coffee mug. It’s decorated all around with smiling gingerbread men.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Do you like it?” Erwin says with a mischievous grin. “I thought it was a nice commemoration for the gingerbread lattes that first brought us together.”
Levi just snorts in response.
“The real present’s inside the mug.”
Levi peers into the mug, finding a few clear plastic bags. Each one is filled with a different type of loose leaf tea.
“Oh,” he says.
“I remembered you saying you liked tea,” Erwin explains.
Levi can rarely afford quality loose leaf. He pulls out one bag and reads the ingredients, opens it a little at the top and takes a sniff.
“I hope I made good choices,” Erwin says. “I can’t say I know too much about tea myself.”
“These are good choices,” Levi says. He’s busy examining the next bag. There’s black tea, peppermint tea and jasmine tea, enough in each bag for several dozen cups. They’re from a company he knows of, and that he will occasionally splurge on, that makes better tea than any other brand he’s tasted. “Definitely good choices.”
“I’m glad,” Erwin says.
Levi carefully sets it down on the coffee table, next to Erwin’s tie. “Thanks,” he says.
“You’re very welcome,” Erwin says with a smile. Levi wonders if he should thank Erwin with a kiss, but the thought seems so awkward to him. Erwin, thankfully, prevents Levi from having to make that decision by continuing to speak. “So, what would you like to do for the rest of our Christmas?”
Levi shrugs. “I don’t care. As long as it’s not Christmassy.”
Erwin chuckles. “But it is Christmas.”
“Let’s pretend it’s not. I hate Christmas.”
“And why is that?”
Levi just shrugs again. “A lot of reasons.”
“Very well, Grinch.”
“The Grinch had a lot of good ideas. Too bad his heart had to grow.” Levi catches sight of something out the window and turns to it. “It’s starting to snow,” he says.
Erwin follows his gaze. “So it is.”
“Good, let’s hope it keeps up,” Levi says.
“Why is that?”
“Good excuse to stay the night.” Levi says it in an off-hand sort of way, but he watches Erwin carefully for his reaction.
Erwin’s eyes widen, and he stiffens a little. “I, um, well then . . .” he says.
Levi smiles. He’s finally made Erwin flustered.
“I think I know what I want to do for the rest of my Christmas,” Levi says.
“What’s that?”
“I think I want you to kiss me until I forget my own name.”
“Oh, ah . . .” Erwin clears his throat and composes himself. “I’d be happy to provide that.”
“Good.”
*****
Levi spends the rest of the afternoon sunk deep into the leather of Erwin’s couch, with Erwin’s warmth and smell surrounding him. Erwin may be a loser, and a rich bastard, but he knows how to kiss. Levi can’t remember the last time he’s been kissed so passionately or so well.
In the evening, Erwin insists on making a Christmas dinner for them. Levi’s left to watch him move around the kitchen, sitting at the kitchen table and drinking hot chocolate from the mug Erwin had given him.
After the dinner, the two of them curl up on the couch under a layer of blankets and flip through the channels. Levi wasn’t quite sure what they watched. He was, however, distinctly aware of Erwin’s breathing against his own side and Erwin’s grip around his waist.
When the evening grows late, Erwin says, “I do have a spare bedroom. Would you like to sleep here?”
Levi looks up at him quizzically. “Do you want me to sleep there?”
“Well.” Erwin makes a little cough. “Where else could you sleep?”
Levi shrugs, but he’s feeling extremely disappointed. “Nowhere, I guess. I can sleep there.”
“Levi.” Erwin cups Levi’s face and caresses his fingers along Levi’s jaw.
“What?”
“Would you like to sleep in my room?”
“Do you want me to sleep in your room?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
Levi shoves Erwin. “Then don’t pull that shit.”
“I didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation.”
“I didn’t suggest staying the night just to sleep in your spare room, idiot,” Levi gripes. But he kisses Erwin, and Erwin knows all is well.
So they get up to go to bed, and Erwin leads Levi to his bedroom. It’s down a narrow hallway, but the room itself is wide and spacious. It almost seems too big for one person.
Levi sits down on the bed. It yields gently under him, and Levi feels sheets softer than anything he’s ever slept on.
“Would you like some clothes to sleep in?” Erwin asks. “I have some things I can lend you, though unfortunately they’ll be a too big . . .”
“Erwin.”
Erwin looks at Levi expectantly.
“Get over here already.”
And Erwin smiles and obeys. He crosses the room to where Levi sits and places both palms against Levi’s shoulders. The kiss is deep and insistent, and Levi rises up to meet him in intensity.
Erwin breaks away, Levi’s lips left suddenly cold. He watches Erwin to see what he does and finds himself staring at the glisten on Erwin’s lips.
Erwin moves to sit next to Levi. It gives him a better angle to hold Levi, his right arm encircling Levi’s waist and his left hand cradling Levi’s jaw. Levi relaxes into the touch until he’s only aware of being surrounded by Erwin.
Erwin moves to press his lips against Levi’s jawbone, dots little kisses just under his ear, trails a sweet path down Levi’s neck. Levi feels himself going limp under Erwin’s touch, humming a little with happiness.
Erwin speaks, his lips whispering against the skin at the base of Levi’s neck. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” he says.
Levi hushes him. “Keep going,” he says.
“I can’t,” Erwin says. “There’s a shirt in the way.” He raises his head a little to face Levi with an infuriatingly mischievous look.
“Then get it out of the way,” Levi demands.
“With pleasure.”
Erwin slips his hands under the hem of Levi’s sweater to pull it off. Levi helps with the undershirt, scrambling to get it over his head. He looks up at Erwin when he’s finished, but Erwin is looking down. He runs his broad hands down Levi’s sides and stares with an intensity that makes Levi shudder. Then Erwin brings his hands up Levi’s stomach and chest, spreading their warmth throughout Levi’s torso. They come up over Levi’s shoulders and then trail down Levi’s shoulder blades, dropping down to the small of his back. “Beautiful,” he says.
Levi moves closer and starts undoing the buttons of Erwin’s shirt. His slender fingers work quickly until Erwin’s shirt is discarded on the floor next to his own clothes. Erwin still has on his undershirt, but even so Levi can see just how broad he is. He reaches up his fingers and traces the outlines of his chest, runs his fingertips down the muscled arms. “Are you on steroids or something?” Levi asks.
“I work out,” Erwin says evenly.
“Fuck you.”
“Would you like to?”
Levi stares up at Erwin. He wants to smack him almost as much as he wants to kiss him.
“You think you’re so funny.”
“Is that a yes?”
Levi climbs up into Erwin’s lap and kisses him roughly. He laces his fingers through Erwin’s hair and pulls, teeth scarping against Erwin’s lips. When he pulls away, Erwin’s breathless and wide-eyed.
“Actually,” Levi says, “I was thinking it’d be the other way around.”
“Huh?” Erwin takes a moment to remember what Levi was talking about. “I fuck you?”
“I think that’d be best.” Levi slides his fingertips down to the hem of Erwin’s undershirt and lifts. Erwin raises his arms above his head, and the undershirt comes off. Then Levi dips his fingers down Erwin’s abs and explores the planes of his chest. “Damn,” he whispers, not fully aware of what he’s saying.
“I’ve been working out extra hard in the past couple weeks just for you,” Erwin says.
“You’re so full of it.”
Erwin kisses him again, cradling his hands against Levi’s back to support him. Levi tips his head back, and Erwin’s hand cups at his neck to steady him. His touch travels up and down Levi’s back, trailing fire in its wake as his fingers dip below Levi’s waistband. One of Erwin’s hands slides into his underwear to press against the soft, smooth skin of his ass and give it a squeeze.
Levi moans in response. He grips Erwin’s shoulders and presses his face into the crook of his neck. Erwin only murmurs, “Lovely,” and moves his hand to the other cheek.
Then Erwin’s other hand drops away from Levi’s back. Levi looks up from Erwin’s neck just in time to see Erwin pop open the button at the front of Levi’s pants. He brushes the back of his fingers of Levi’s erection, the touch just enough to make Levi squirm.
“Levi.” Erwin kisses the base of Levi’s neck. “I need to get my lube and my condoms.”
“Mmm.” Levi’s eyes are closed, and he turns his face into Erwin’s hair. He doesn’t quite realize what Erwin’s said until he feels the warm hand on his butt pull away. That brings him back to focus for a bit.
“They’re in my bureau,” Erwin says.
Levi scowls. “Why didn’t you get them before?”
Erwin just smiles at that, very much not answering his question. He kisses Levi again, this time on the cheek. “Wait for me?”
“Where else am I gonna go?” But Levi slides off Erwin’s lap and kneels on the side of the bed. He watches Erwin as he crosses the room to his bureau, the muscles of his lower back rippling slightly with every step and disappearing suggestively under the waistband of his pants. Levi lies back on the bed and enjoys the view while Erwin fishes around in his drawer for what he needs.
When Erwin returns, he takes Levi’s head in both hands and gives him a deep kiss. His hands slide down Levi’s sides, exploring, caressing every inch, while his tongue darts along the inside of Levi’s lips. Levi just lies back, arms over his head, sinking into the mattress and letting Erwin warm him.
Erwin’s lips travel down his neck, across his collar bone, along the planes of his chest and over his nipples. Each spot he touches tingles with warmth. Then Erwin sits up and lowers his fingers back to where Levi’s cock pushes against his underwear. He strokes it again, gently, just brushing over it with the tips of his fingers.
“Hnng—stop that and just do it already.”
Erwin rests the palm of his hand just to the right of Levi’s cock and runs his thumb in slow circles over the tip. “Do what?”
“Oh my god,” Levi moans, half in exasperation and half in need.
“Do what?” Erwin asks again, his tone slightly more firm.
“Just . . . fuck me already.”
Erwin smiles and presses the tip of his thumb down on Levi’s cock. “Ask me a little more nicely.”
“Asshole,” Levi spits.And with as much sarcastic bite as he can manage he says, “Fuck me please.”
And now Erwin practically grins. “With pleasure.”
Erwin positions himself so that he’s kneeling between Levi’s legs, and opens up the bottle of lube. As Levi watches, he coats the fingers of his right hand while pushing Levi’s legs apart with his left. Levi lets Erwin position him, lying passively as Erwin slides his hand under Levi’s ass to angle it a little upwards.
Levi sighs when Erwin touches him. His finger circles around Levi’s hole as if exploring, teasing Levi with them gentle touch. Then Erwin slides it in, and Levi feels himself pleasantly stretched out. Erwin moves his finger back and forth, methodically spreading the lube and giving Levi a massage that makes him hum in satisfaction. Through half-lidded eyes, he can see Erwin smiling.
When Erwin adds a second, Levi finds himself moaning against his will. The pressure is greater than he expected, and it seems to flow in waves through his whole body. Erwin scissors his fingers inside Levi, creating jolts of pleasure.
Then his fingers are gone, and Levi opens his eyes just enough to see Erwin add some extra lube to his hand. “I’m ready,” he says. “I’m stretched, just—ah!” Erwin cuts him off by sliding three fingers inside him. “God!”
“No harm in being safe,” Erwin says evenly. The grip of his other hand on Levi’s cheek gets a little firmer as he spreads out the three fingers inside him.
Erwin’s fingers push in deep, hitting his prostrate. Levi screams again as the pleasure makes everything go hazy. “God dammit,” he hisses.
Now his eyes are closed, and he’s aware of nothing but Erwin’s fingers moving back and forth as they massage his prostrate. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you look like this?” Erwin whispers. Levi can only moan in response.
Erwin pulls his fingers out, and now Levi gasps at the absence. He watches in a daze as Erwin opens the condom wrapper.
“How come you waited till now to take your pants off?” Levi slurs, his usual bite gone in his arousal. “Scared you’d be too small?”
In response, Erwin only undoes his belt and slides down his pants. He scoots out of first his pants and then his underwear. Levi watches with interest and swallows hard when Erwin’s revealed himself.
“Okay,” Levi says. “Big enough.”
“Big enough?” Erwin says, amused.
“Yeah, big enough. Size doesn’t matter, asshole, let’s see what you can do with that massive dick.”
“Very well.” Erwin works quickly to put on the condom and cover it with lube. Levi lets him lift up his thighs and position him at a better angle. His knees wrap around Erwin’s broad hips, and he leans back and closes his eyes, waiting.
Erwin pushes forward, little by little. With each inch, Levi feels his body tingle with the heat and pressure. He clamps down on Erwin and hears a deep moan over him. The sound sets every nerve on fire, and he pushes down harder.
Now Erwin’s completely inside Levi, and he begins moving back and forth. The speed is slow at first, but it gradually quickens. Erwin moves inside him until he feels like every inch of him is filled and warm, until every bit of his skin is flushed over. Levi’s vaguely aware that he’s crying out, but then so is Erwin. Their voices mingle in the air above them, joined ecstasy. Erwin hits Levi at just the right angle, sending him close to the edge.
Levi’s hands scrabble for something to hold on to, and Erwin’s right hand catches Levi’s left. Their fingers tangle together on the bed, gripping each other tight. Erwin’s left hand is cupped around Levi’s hip. He leans forward and places quick, messy kisses on Levi’s chest and collarbone, still intent on claiming every inch of him.
They come almost together, Levi shouting and Erwin moaning his name. He feels Erwin’s warmth in him through the condom at the same time his own climax spills out onto his and Erwin’s stomachs.
And then it’s over, and Levi lies on the bed panting and letting himself slowly come back to earth. When he opens his eyes, he sees Erwin kneeling over him, also panting, and gazing at him like he’s some sort of miracle. Their eyes lock together, and they stay locked for god knows how long.
When Erwin eventually does move, he returns with a damp towel from the bathroom. Levi sits up and wipes down first himself and then Erwin. Erwin gives him a quick kiss on the temple before leaving to put the towel in the laundry, and Levi curls up under the covers while he waits.
When Erwin slides under the blankets next to him, Levi moves a little closer, almost touching. He wants to be touching, but he thinks that maybe that’s a little too intimate for a second date.
Thankfully, Erwin seems to want the same thing as Levi. He reaches out an arm and drapes it around Levi, pulling him a little closer. Levi curls up against his warm body.
“That was great,” Erwin says.
“Mmhmm.”
“Are you comfortable? Warm enough?”
“Mmm.”
“Goodnight, Levi.” Erwin turns out the light. Levi listens to his soft breathing and traces patterns on Erwin’s chest with his fingers.
“Erwin?” he says.
“Yes?”
Levi’s not sure why he’s telling Erwin this. He hasn’t told anyone this since childhood. Maybe it’s the safety of the darkness, or maybe the sex has made him stupid. But for whatever reason, Levi says it.
“Today’s my birthday, too.”
“Really?”
“Yup. You know how I said I hate Christmas?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah, well, I hate my birthday, too.”
Erwin kisses him on the head. It’s simple and sweet and Levi would find it demeaning coming from anyone else. But it’s not when it comes from Erwin.
“Happy birthday, Levi.”
“Mm.” Levi curls a little closer and thinks that this birthday, for the first time in ages, had actually gone pretty well. “Thanks. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
They drift off to sleep like that and wake up together the next morning.