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“I want to kiss you.”
“Huh? Excuse me, Kee-boy, did I hear that right?”
Kiibo’s face was flushed, and he didn’t know how he got here, standing in front of Kokichi’s room in the dark hallway, in the middle of the night, at that.
It was 2:04AM, to be exact. There was no way he should be knocking on someone’s door at this time of night— let alone asking to kiss them.
His nerves were fluttering, causing his breaths to come out slightly uneven as he met Kokichi’s tired, yet as always, chaotic gaze.
How he was so energetic, even directly after waking up, Kiibo had no clue.
“I— You did,” Kiibo nodded, and his voice was soft, as if he could hardly believe what he said himself, as if he was avidly questioning his decision.
Kokichi grinned, moving out of the way of the door frame.
“Come on in, Kee-boy. Then, you can tell me all about your wet dream about the Ultimate Supreme Leader!”
Kiibo felt his face get warmer than it already was. He fidgeted with his hands.
“That’s not why...” He trailed off quietly as he shuffled inside, allowing Kokichi to shut the door behind him.
Kokichi then walked over to his bed, turning and plopping down on it, his arms crossed as he had that familiar, amused, annoying grin spread out onto his pale face.
Kiibo suddenly felt out of place, as he stood there, Kokichi staring at him with a grin. He wasn’t sure if it would be rude, inviting himself in and sitting next to Kokichi, but then again, he had previously knocked on his door at 2:04AM, audibly saying, “I want to kiss you,” as soon as the door slid open. That was rude in itself.
“What, do you think I’ll bite? Nee-hee~ I mean, no promises, Kee-boy, but I’m not going to rearrange your wires if you sit next to me!”
Kiibo bit his lip, before opening his mouth to speak.
“I-I never said I thought you would...” He sighed, trailing off for the second time that night and walking over to Kokichi, hesitating before tentatively sitting down beside him.
They gazed at each other for some time. Well— gaze isn’t really the right word— Kiibo was awkwardly blinking and fidgeting, occasionally averting his gaze to the ground, while Kokichi only had a ligtht-hearted look in his purple eyes, firm and directly on Kiibo.
“So, Kee-boy,” He started casually, his arms comfortably resting behind his head, “How come you want to kiss me so bad?”
It was different. Kokichi didn’t say any remark that was technically harsh or joking... he seemed genuinely curious.
And, while Kiibo absolutely did not want to reveal why, he guessed that if he was going to share a kiss with someone... he should at least admit why.
It was an act of defiance, really— Kiibo wanted to kiss someone that was particularly a male, or at least masculine visually.
It wasn’t right. It wasn’t a reason you should want to kiss someone— you should do it out of love, not out of rebellion. That’s plain wrong.
Yet, his professor had never told him any different. Professor Idabashi told him men dating and women dating was wrong, and that was that. Kiibo didn’t get a chance to form his own views, his own liking. He just went along with someone he considered a father figure.
But he didn’t want to do something expected of him— like kiss a girl, hold hands with one. He was angry. He was furious. His professor hadn’t allowed him a second to form his own preference, and he was mad about that. He wanted to kiss a boy. He wanted to hold hands with one.
He didn’t know why he chose Kokichi, exactly. He definitely could’ve gone for a more calmer or gentler person, like Shuichi, or Rantaro. He was quite sure Korekiyo wouldn’t be too awfully opposed to it, either... so, why he chose Kokichi, the one that may very well be the one very likely to disagree and tease him, he didn’t know.
But what he did know was that he wanted to figure out why Kokichi acted the way he did. How come he lied, and treated others so cruelly, even if it was mostly playful. He truly wanted to get to know him— be his friend, understand him...
Kiibo took a deep breath. He needed to answer Kokichi. Otherwise, this would have been for nothing, and all he would be doing is humiliating himself.
“Because, I...” Kiibo fiddled with his hands, “Well, it... might be a selfish reason, but— I want to kiss you to— rebel, in a way, I guess?”
Why Kiibo was opening up and being honest to Kokichi, he had absolutely no clue. Maybe he had a few screws loose. Maybe he should go to Miu—
“To rebel? Well, that’s stupid, because why me? I’m sure Iruma-san would be flattered to make out with you!” Kokichi chirped back in a joking tone.
“W-We aren’t like that!” Kiibo stuttered, taking a deep breath, “I meant... a guy.”
He stated the last part softer than he had previously. He noticed Kokichi tilt his head when he said that, and he felt his heartbeat— well, as much of a heartbeat as he could have— pick up. This was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have said that. What if Kokichi was just like his professor?
“Nishishi~ feeling risky, are we?” Kokichi snickered, “How come you wanna kiss a guy specifically, Kee-boy? Are you experimenting?”
Kokichi drew out the last word teasingly, causing Kiibo to flinch.
“No, I just—” Kiibo hesitated, “I want to prove someone wrong. I want to... defy someone.”
And it was then that Kiibo realized just how selfish this was, just how much of an idiot he looked like, strutting into someone’s room and plainly asking them to kiss him.
He hadn’t once considered Kokichi’s feelings about this.
This was wrong— it was wrong on so many levels.
If he wanted to defy his professor, then he would have to wait until he fell in love with someone.
Kiibo abruptly stood up, and from there, frantic apologies only spilled out as he worriedly glanced to the floor of Kokichi’s room.
“I’m sorry— This is really sudden of me to ask you. I shouldn’t be putting you in this position, you don’t deserve that. I apologize for waking you. I hope you sleep well,” Kiibo turned to leave the room, “I’m sorry once m—”
“Kiss me.”
Kiibo’s rapidly beating heart felt like it stopped as he paused, turning back to face Kokichi.
“I... Wh-Wha—”
“Kiss me, Kiibo. Are you shying up on me now?”
Kiibo felt his face get warm all over again, his body running cold with pure shock and surprise as he shifted, biting his lip. He was surprised Kokichi had used his real name instead of Kee-boy, but honestly, that was by far the very least of his concerns in the current moment.
“I... You don’t have to. I don’t— want to make you do something you don’t want to,” He stuttered, feeling himself begin to tremble, because honestly, he felt bad for coming in here in the middle of the night out of nowhere like a goddamn fool. He began to question if he truly did want this, or if it was just him trying to act more than disorderly towards Professor Idabashi.
He felt himself fill with uncertainty as he realized it may not be what he wants.
But, as he thinks... he does. If the first time he ever kissed someone would be with Kokichi, then that wasn’t a bad thing, persay. It wasn’t all that bad. The situation he would be having his first kiss in was less than preferrable, yet... he couldn’t find it in him to mind.
He approached Kokichi once more, sitting down next to him and turning his body to face him. He was suddenly all too aware of how he was about to kiss someone, he was about to lean in close to their face and press his lips against theirs, he was going to breathe in their scent and feel someone close to him.
It made him hesitant, especially since it was with a male, but he didn’t want to back out now.
He’d know how it was to kiss a boy.
He was going to be showing romantic affection to a boy.
The thought scared him but it spiked his enthusiasm, leaving a happy yet also anxious ache in his stomach.
“Are you gonna kiss me, or what?” Kokichi whispered to him slyly, but there was no malice behind his voice. He had been patiently meeting Kiibo’s gaze ever since he first stepped foot into this room, and Kiibo couldn’t be more grateful.
“Y-Yeah,” He stuttered, nodding, “Just nervous.”
Kokichi reached out, offering his hand, to which Kiibo slowly took.
“It’s fine to be nervous about it. Just do it when you feel ready. I’ll be waiting.”
Kokichi said the last part flirtatiously, but it was in his natural, teasing voice, and Kiibo’s thoughts were so clattered that he couldn’t tell truths from lies.
Kiibo’s heart was racing in his chest and he felt warm, yet his blood had run cold.
More like his wires, but—
He was anxious, but he was telling himself to just go for it. Go for it.
Do it.
Do it.
Kiibo reached out, unsure if this was exactly how it was done, and began to lace his fingers in Kokichi’s hair, tangling them, his other arm draped around his shoulder as he slowly, tentatively leaned in.
He didn’t know what he was doing. He felt adrenaline rushing through him, and a flicker of want passed through him.
He desired this, he wanted this with every part of his being.
Their foreheads were pressed close together, and Kiibo could feel the warmth of Kokichi’s breath.
“You ready, Kiibo?” Kokichi asked him, his voice coming out quiet, delicate with Kiibo.
Kiibo’s palms were sweaty, and he swallowed, leaning closer than he already was, and pressing his lips against Kokichi’s, closing his eyes soon afterwords.
The beginning wasn’t what he expected. First kisses were always dramatically introduced, something so special. And really, Kiibo didn’t know what he was expecting. Fireworks going off? A sudden, abrupt realization of their love for each other?
No. That was only seen in books and movies. This was real life.
The kiss was messily done— that was for sure. Kiibo had zero experience, and he didn’t know how to continue it. And, Kokichi could lie all he wanted, but he had very little experience in his kissing skills as well.
They weren’t... making out or anything like that, it was just a light kiss. So, they pulled away after a short amount of time.
Kiibo didn’t want it to end just yet. He didn’t want it to end like that. So, he leaned in for another one, and Kokichi didn’t protest, leaning in as well once more.
Kiibo’s lips were pressed onto Kokichi’s, and it was... gentle. It was more light than Kiibo expected from someone like Kokichi.
Kiibo ran his fingers through Kokichi’s hair, and at some point, he felt Kokichi’s arm wrap around him.
Once they pulled away, Kiibo’s breath was shaky and uneven, but he didn’t exactly hate it— he liked it.
...
Kiibo liked it.
He just kissed a guy.
And with that, he broke down.
He didn’t know why tears had started forming at the corner of his eyes, he didn’t understand why they spilt over.
He was a terrible person.
He just walked into someone’s room and asked to kiss them, to which they agreed.
He never thought he’d dislike himself more than he did now.
His professor, if he knew what Kiibo had done, would be beyond disappointed, thinking about how useless and unnatural this... this robot was.
Kiibo was forcing apologies out between his sobs, because honestly, he was an awful person, he shouldn’t have kissed Kokichi in the first place, and now he was crying about it? How sensitive was he? There was really no reason for him to cry, other than a simple overwhelm of emotions or the judging glare he knew Professor Idabashi would have given him if he was there.
If he was this unstable emotionally, surely he shouldn’t have kissed someone.
Kiibo felt a pair of arms gently wrap around him, and Kiibo wanted to ask why as he was pulled closer. He asked Kokichi out of nowhere to kiss him, Kokichi obliged, and then he started crying over this. He was filthy, he looked disgusting and vile, with tears streaming down his face and his eyes puffy and red. And still, Kokichi was pulling him close, gently reassuring and calming him down for absolutely no reason other than that he wanted to.
“Kee-boy, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Kokichi told him, and his voice was unreasonably soft, “Stop the waterworks, yeah? You’re fine. You did nothing wrong.”
Kiibo wasn’t sure if Kokichi was implying Kiibo did nothing wrong by kissing him, or if he did nothing wrong by finding males romantically appealing, or maybe a little mix of both. Either way, it was enough to reassure him.
Kiibo reached a hand up to wipe away his tears, looking up at Kokichi, who had let him go once he pulled away.
He really did feel bad for everything.
But he didn’t regret that kiss for the world.
“I’m sorry, Kokichi,” He told him, because they were way past using last names for each other, “For... everything. This was so sudden of me to ask of you, and then I started... crying. I don’t know why I did that.”
His voice cracked and trembled, and his nose was still slightly stuffy from the crying. He had panicked— it was a bundle of emotions, a bundle of stimuli he couldn’t process, so he just ended up crying about it.
“Don’t sweat it, Kee-boy,” Kokichi told him, “Those kinds of things can happen, yknow? You can get overwhelmed. In your situation, I’m not surprised.”
Kiibo sighed. It made him feel at least a little better, and at least Kokichi wasn’t mad at him.
“So— things won’t be awkward now, right?” Kiibo cleared his throat, “We’ll still be the same as usual?”
“Obviously! The Ultimate Supreme Leader doesn’t have time to treat someone any differently because he kissed them!” Kokichi snickered, “Plus, you were a good kisser, so I’ll let it slide~”
“Don’t lie, I... had no idea what I was doing,” Kiibo told him.
“Nishishi~ You’re getting better at distinguishing truth from lies, Kee-boy! Well, you were cute enough, so that makes up for it.”
Kiibo felt his face get warm as he coughed awkwardly.
“Ah... um, well, in that case,” He slowly stood up, “I’ll be going, then. Thank you, Kokichi.”
“Anytime, Kee-boy,” Kokichi’s voice softened, even if for just a moment, “Don’t ever feel bad about how you feel.”
Kiibo gave a small smile.
“The same goes for you,” He told him, despite Kokichi most likely not needing to hear that— most likely not needing the consoling Kiibo had needed.
And with that, he opened the door and shut it, turning and walking back to his own room.
As he laid in his bed, aware he wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon, he thought for a moment.
Maybe it truly wasn’t a bad thing that he was fine with liking boys, just as he did with girls.
Surely, in the end, his happiness and his partner’s would be what mattered the most, right?
He sighed, tossing the other way in his bed.
He was glad he did that. The situation and timing was less than perfect, but... it was good. He liked it. It was... nice.
Kiibo took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes. He was all too aware he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, but that was okay. He’d accepted a part of himself he’d been struggling with for longer than he could put into words.
He still was, in fact, confused about his feelings towards Kokichi. He wasn’t sure if he liked him, or wanted it to stay platonic.
But he would figure that out another time.
Slowly, slowly but surely, maybe the two were truly starting to understand each other, even if just a little.
They could make great friends.
And, maybe over time, something more, too.