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Hook was frustrated, in more ways than one. He didn’t think it would have to come to this, to face the man he loathed so much...for help.
But the situation had gotten out of hand, and downright ridiculous. So here he was, entering the pawn shop at the break of dawn, the bell hanging above the door signalling his arrival.
“Well…” Rumple said as he looked up from his books. “Isn’t this a surprise.”
“Only it’s not, is it?” Hook said as he approached the counter. “Because you can see the future.”
“Well... yes. ” The dark one snickered.
“So you already know why I’m here.” Hook stated.
“I do.” Rumple nodded. “But...it would still be polite to ask nicely.”
Hook gritted his teeth. “I need your help with something...rather delicate.”
“Well if anything were delicate about you, captain, I doubt you’d be having this issue.” Rumple taunted. Hook clenched his fist on the counter.
“You know what I want, Rumpelstiltskin, so out with it. What’s it going to take?” he asked impatiently.
The dark one snickered, in that annoying way he does when something is entertaining him. He reached down to a shelf which was out of sight, and brought up a small sack, tossing it on the counter directly in front of Hook.
“This one, my dear captain, is on the house.” he said with a smirk. Hook raised a brow at him.
“What’s your angle?”
“No angle here old boy.” Rumple said. “I just like where this is going.”
“And it won’t affect me?” Hook asked.
“No.” Rumple nodded, smirking. “Not that you needed much help with that.”
“And you?”
“I’m always immune to a curse, especially when I’m the one who made it.” Rumple chuckled. Hook raised a brow at him, wondering silently why he thought this was so funny. But it didn’t much matter, he had what he needed. He picked up the sack.
“How do I make it work?” he asked.
“Go to the clock tower, sprinkle the dust out of the window. It’ll affect the whole town, mind you, starting right after the sun has fully set. But...I wouldn’t worry too much about that.” Rumple shrugged. “After all, what’s the harm of spreading some love, hmm?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re very strange?” Hook asked.
“A time or two.” Rumple stated. “But we’re all a little strange, aren’t we?”
Hook didn’t answer, he simply tightened his hold around the sack and turned around, walking away.
He checked his surroundings multiple times, but it was early, very few people were out and about at this time of day. So, confident he wasn’t being followed, he entered the door that led to the clock tower, climbing the stairs until he reached his destination and, stepping over to the back of the clock, pulled one of the glass panels open.
He untied the sack before holding it out of the open panel, tipping it upside down, and shaking it to make sure all of its contents poured out.
The dust floated into the atmosphere, covering the town in a light red hue that couldn’t be differentiated from the colour of the early morning sky.
He smirked to himself. Now he just had to wait.
When Emma woke up that morning, she knew something was off. Maybe she was getting a cold, she thought at first, but that conclusion didn’t sit right with her. Nothing really did. She felt a slight buzz in the air, like she did when she was near some kind of magic...or Regina.
She shook that last thought out of her head as she got ready for what would likely be another boring day at work. Still, it didn’t change the fact that she felt like something was looming in the air.
And she was damn right, too.
She didn’t normally work late, but there had been a huge bar fight the night before, and she’d punched a few guys’ teeth in and broke a couple of noses in the skirmish while trying to shut it down. So there were... many incident reports to fill out. Regina had been a stickler for proper paperwork ever since she went back to being the Mayor after her mother’s stint. She wanted to try and reclaim some sense of normalcy in the administration - Emma didn’t blame her. Normal would do the town some good.
What she saw when she left work, however, just after the sun had set and the sky went dark, was nowhere near normal.
Leroy had been let out of the holding cell just before Emma left - mostly because she couldn’t take his whining anymore. Astrid had been there to pick him up…
But now they were having sex in the bushes. Loudly.
“Uhm…” Emma tried to interrupt, but they either didn’t hear her or didn’t care. And she’d seen enough to scar her for life - not that she needed the help - so she just decided to let it go and keep on her path to go home.
She realized that something was up when she saw three other couples openly and unabashedly copulating on the sidewalk or in the shrubbery.
“What the fuck…” she remarked to herself, more than a little disturbed.
Someone bumped into her in the street, pushing past her.
“Hey, watch it!” she yelled behind them, they didn’t hear her, but suddenly they were jumped by another person, started making out furiously, and began to tear each other’s clothes off. “Jesus fucking christ!”
That’s when she decided that some kind of magical fuckery (literally) was going on.
She ran back to the loft, trying to ignore the many many loud sounds of people having sex, to warn her parents about this weird, pornographic version of the purge that was clearly going on.
When she got there, however, she saw something she wished to never ever see.
Now she really was scarred for life.
She ran out of there, mostly for the sake of whatever remained of her sanity, and rushed off to Ruby’s.
But when she got there and walked into the werewolf’s room, she was laid out on the bed with Belle sitting on her face... perfect.
“I have to find Regina.” she muttered to herself as she ran out of the inn.
She was on her way to Mifflin street, wondering why the hell she didn’t just take her car, when she slammed into someone.
“Ow.” she grumbled as she stepped back. “Sorry dude.”
“No worries, love.” Hook said from in front of her.
“Killian.” she sighed in relief. “Have you seen what’s going on? Everyone’s…”
“Fornicating, yes. I know.” Hook gave her a smirk. “It seems they’re seeking out those they most desire.”
“I mean I guess, yeah.” Emma sighed.
Hook started stepping closer to her, and she raised a brow at him.
“It’s nice, though...knowing you don’t have to hold back from what you want.” He said.
“Uhhh... okay ?” she shook her head. Suddenly, he was placing his hand on her hip, and pulling her closer.
“Come, love, let’s go back to my ship before our carnal desires get ahead of us.” he suggested in a low tone.
“Wha-” Emma tried to ask, but suddenly he was kissing her deeply. She groaned, pressing her hands on his shoulders and shoving him away. “Seriously? This is so not the time.”
“Wh-what?” he asked in pure shock. “I don’t understand why...why aren’t you…”
“Acting like a horny, crazed teenager on prom night?” Emma rolled her eyes. “Killian look, I’m sorry. I have to go figure out what magic bullshit is causing this.”
“You...you don’t desire me?” he asked.
“Well definitely not right now.” she shook her head. “God knows I’ve seen things I never wanted to see, so...yeah. Besides, Again. Magic bullshit. Gotta be the saviour again, ugh.”
“No!” Hook growled, startling her. “It should have worked!”
“ What should have worked?” Emma asked him with a raised brow, before realization dawned on her. “You... you did this?!”
“Dammit. Yes!” he cried. “I wanted you to desire me.”
“Why the fuck would you do something like this?! This is crazy! ” Emma accused.
“Well your girlfriend not touching you for weeks might drive you a little crazy, Emma!” he shot back. “I just wanted us to be intimate.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” the blonde shrieked. “You cast some weird... aphrodisiac curse on the whole town because you were horny?! ”
“Well…” Hook faltered. “When you say it like that it sounds-”
“Fucking psychotic?! Yeah! Because it is!” Emma yelled, shaking her head at him. “I can’t believe you, Hook! First of all, this is the creepiest shit you’ve done, and that’s kinda saying a lot. Second of all you could have just talked to me.”
“I…” Hook stammered, but Emma was done listening to whatever bullshit excuses he was about to make, so she just brushed past him as she continued her trip. “Wait, Emma!”
“What?!” Emma called back in frustration.
“You...you don’t want me?” he asked, still surprised.
“Newsflash, sicko. Even if I did want you, if I ever ‘desired’ you in any way? I sure as hell don’t now.” she said. “And in case it wasn’t obvious, we’re done!”
“Emma, wait!” he cried, but she didn’t care, she just kept on walking, hoping she could find Regina and they could end this nightmare once and for all.
Regina had felt the magic buzz in the air all day, and had a strong anxiety about what hell might befall them this time. So when she left her office after working late, only to find many of the civil hall staff members going at it like bunnies on multiple desks, she knew it had something to do with that. This curse, or whatever it might be, was certainly a new one though.
She was on her way home when she heard someone calling her name.
“Regina?! Regina!” Emma cried as she approached her, breathless and looking a little worse for wear. The blonde had hunched down, hands supporting her weight against her knees as she tried to catch her breath and talk at the same time. “The whole town...is...oh God I need to work out more.”
“What the hell is going on, Emma? Everyone’s…”
“Fucking like bunnies. Yeah.” Emma nodded as she gulped in oxygen. “Hook cast some dumbass curse to make everyone horny for whoever they want most.”
Regina raised a brow. “Let me guess...he was horny.”
“Yep.” Emma groaned as she began to straighten up. “We have to figure out how to stop this, before the town’s birth rate skyrockets.”
“Not to mention the STD rate.” Regina rolled her eyes. “What do you…”
Emma had finally looked at her, their eyes locking, and suddenly Regina seemed stunned.
“Regina?”
“You…” Regina stepped closer to her, dropping her briefcase as she did.
“I...what? Do I have ketchup on my shirt again?” Emma said, looking down. Regina’s hand came under her chin and lifted her head, the brunette’s shaking as her eyes wandered over the sheriff. “...Regina? What are you doing?”
“Has...anyone ever told you…” Regina began, her hands moving down from Emma’s shoulders. “...How good you look in that jacket?”
“You hate this jacket.” Emma remarked. Regina looked up at her, and suddenly Emma was hit with a raging, carnal need inside. “Oh...fuck.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Regina smirked at her, reaching over and taking Emma’s hand before snapping her fingers and making them disappear in a cloud of smoke.
They landed in Regina’s bedroom, their hands having started running over each other.
“Regina we...we have to…” Emma tried her damndest to fight her urges, knowing they had to figure out how to stop this madness. But Regina slid her arms around her and grabbed her ass. “Oh...okay.”
“I’ve always had a little fantasy, do you think you might make my dreams come true?” Regina wondered.
“I…” Emma swallowed thickly as Regina looked up at her from under her lashes, batting them. The brunette’s eyes were pitch black, and Emma became unable to fight her needs any longer. “I can certainly try.”
Regina grinned, stepping back and shucking her coat and blazer off as she sat on the end of the bed. “I’ve always wanted you to kneel for your queen, Emma...and worship me.”
“Shit, say no more, your majesty.” Emma replied, eagerly dropping to her knees in between Regina’s legs, foreplay being the absolute last thing on her mind.
She reached up, hands gliding along Regina’s thighs on her way to the brunette’s waist where they unbuckled her belt and opened the fastening to the slacks that fit the mayor’s body so perfectly.
“Please, Emma.” Regina sighed, her head thrown back. “Don’t tease me, love. Not now. Just do it. Please.”
“Yes ma’am.” Emma smirked, pulling the brunette’s trousers off along with her panties, eager to reach the queen’s forbidden fruit and get a taste for herself.
She bit her lip to try and stop from drooling when Regina’s hot sex became visible to her, the brunette spreading her legs farther to allow Emma more access.
Licking her lips, Emma trailed her fingers over Regina’s thighs to entice the older woman, before reaching with her right hand, and gently slipping two fingers in between soaked folds, eliciting a soft moan from the woman above her.
“Emma…” she sighed.
“It’s really hot when you say my name like that.” Emma muttered as she moved her fingers carefully to explore the brunette, trying to find which spots made her tick. Eventually, she found the stiff bud that made Regina moan louder.
“God...please…” she cried. “Emma...your mouth, please!”
Emma smiled in excitement as she scooted forward on her knees to be able to reach better, bringing her mouth closer to the queen’s hot core, her mouth salivating as she did.
After only a second to take a breath and prepare herself, Emma surged forward, her mouth landing right over Regina’s clit as her tongue pressed against it, sucking on it as she flicked it with her tongue.
“Yes! Yes, Emma-”
Suddenly, Emma felt a spark of magic against her mouth, and when she pulled back to see what had just happened, she saw a bright spiral of light expanding around them, the hold of the curse being lifted from her mind.
“Uhhhhh.” She said dumbly. “What...just happened?”
She looked up to see a mortified Regina above her. The brunette lifted a hand to cover her eyes as she cursed internally.
“I believe… ” she sighed. “...That that was... True Love’s Kiss. ”
Emma blanched, her eyes going wide in shock. “Oh shit…”
“Eloquently put.” Regina sighed.
“Well...that was awkward.” Emma remarked.
“Would you like to know what makes this even more awkward?” Regina asked.
“What?” Emma raised a brow at her. Regina sighed and put her hand down, back to holding herself up on her arms.
“I... really don’t want you to stop.”
Emma smirked at her, shaking her head.
“Wasn’t going to.”
She surged forward again, shocking Regina at the contact and making the older woman fall back as her arms gave way. Emma once again found the stiff bud, wrapping her lips around it and sucking gently.
“Fuck!” Regina cried. She could feel Emma smirking against her, but didn’t have the strength to tell her to wipe it off her face while she was on her face. Especially because she could feel Emma’s fingers slowly searching for her entrance.
Soon, Emma was gently sliding her middle finger into the brunette, going slowly to not cause any discomfort, before curling her finger up to find a soft sweet spot that made Regina moan loudly again.
“Emma...Oh God.” the brunette whimpered, her hips bucking towards the sheriff. “More...please…”
Emma circled her tongue gently around Regina’s clit as she retracted her middle finger, adding her ring finger alongside it on the next entry.
As Regina clutched her sheets, she felt a tight coil winding itself in her lower belly, and her moans became unintelligible. That’s when Emma added a third finger to the mix, curling them in an upwards motion to make contact with the spot she knew would drive Regina crazy.
“Emma!” the queen cried loudly, her legs coming up to wrap themselves around the blonde’s head as Emma sucked her clit hard, pressing her tongue against it while doing so, her fingers adding unwavering pressure to that delicious spot as Regina soared off the edge she’d been teetering on with a loud cry, back arching off the mattress and hips bucking against Emma’s face as she rode out her orgasm.
A minute later, she fell limp against the mattress, her breathing laboured as she came down gently from her wonderful high.
She didn’t see Emma getting up, or licking her lips to savour Regina’s sweet, heady taste. But when she opened her eyes, she saw Emma looking over at her with a smile on her face. She couldn’t help but smile back.
“That was…” she trailed off. “...we need to have a long conversation about what just happened.”
“Yeah, we do.” Emma nodded, holding her hand out for Regina to take so that the blonde could help her up, which she accepted, standing and reaching for her clothes to put them back on. “But I think we should go and make sure the town’s not, like, traumatised beyond repair.”
“Mmhm.” Regina said, finally straightening into a standing position in front of the blonde, looking up at her to see a dopey little smile on her face. “What?”
“Nothing I just…” Emma shrugged. “True Love’s kiss?”
“Via cunnilingus.” Regina rolled her eyes. “Why is it that I’m not entirely surprised that that’s how you’d do it?”
“Hey, don’t blame me!” Emma said. “I just hope that this means you’re my true love and not just your...you know…”
Regina sighed in exasperation, unable to fight off the smile on her face. She reached up to Emma, cupping her cheek before she pushed herself up and pressed her lips against the blonde’s in a soft kiss, moaning softly at the taste of herself on the blonde’s mouth as Emma deepened the kiss a little further before Regina pulled away.
“I assure you, it’s all of me.” Regina said before she slipped her shoes on and started walking out of the room.
“Wait what?” Emma said, rushing after her.
“Like I said, Emma...we have a lot to talk about.”
They went to the Charmings’ loft, thankful that they were done doing... it. But found them to be very confused about what had just happened.
Emma had to make the uncomfortable decision to tell them about Hook’s antics. David looked ready to stab him, Emma wouldn’t have stopped him if he tried.
“Wait...I don’t understand?” Snow asked.
“What’s not to understand?” Regina shrugged. “Hook reached peak psycho-maniac and had the whole town fornicating like wild bunnies in the spring.”
“Well...yes, I understand that part but…” Snow looked from Regina to Emma rapidly. “How did you stop it?”
“Uh…” Emma scratched the back of her neck nervously. “True Love’s Kiss.”
“True lov-” Snow froze, her eyes going wide. “You two?!”
“Yeah...we were as surprised as you were, trust me.” Emma remarked.
“Even more so, given how it happened.” Regina muttered.
“Huh…” Snow nodded. “Well...honestly...it kind of makes sense.”
“It does?” both women asked at once.
“I mean you two are always making eyes at each other.” Snow shrugged.
“I don’t make eyes.” Emma defended.
“You most definitely make eyes.” Regina retorted.
“I figured it was only a matter of time, really.” Snow said. “Only, Regina, honestly. I don’t understand why you thought it so important to reapply your lipstick before you got here.”
“What are you talking about?” Regina asked her with a raised brow.
“Well if Emma kissed you, your lipstick must have gotten smudged,” Snow said. “Or did you get one of those fancy, smudge-proof brands? I’ve always wondered if those really work.”
“Oh…” Regina shifted uncomfortably. “Uhh...let’s just say that the spot Emma kissed, uhm...didn’t need lipstick.”
“What do you mean?” Snow said with a confused expression.
“Oh God.” David groaned, pressing his fingers to his eyes.
“What is she talking about?” Snow turned to Emma.
“Uhm…” Emma squeaked awkwardly.
“Snow...ugh.” David sighed from behind her before he leaned in, one hand shielding his mouth from Regina and Emma as he whispered something into his wife’s ear.
Snow’s eyes grew to the size of saucers and her jaw hung open for a minute, before she recovered and looked sternly at Emma.
“Emma Swan, that is no way to find out who your true love is!”
“Aaand...I’m out.” Emma said, turning towards Regina. “You comin’?”
“Most certainly, dear.” Regina said, Emma nodding and turning to open the door and lead them out of the apartment. “Besides...I believe I’ve got some reciprocating to do.”
And they lived happily ever after.