Work Text:
Hitoshi places his phone standing up, without Kaminari noticing.
They were both in Kaminari's room, Kaminari working on the essay Present Mic assigned that's due tomorrow. Hitoshi seated next to him, looking at the camera and making sure it was filming, a smile on his face as if anticipating something from whatever he's about to do. Kaminari still hasn't noticed the phone filming.
"Hey Kami?" Hitoshi gently calls out, placing a hand on Kaminari's shoulder.
Kaminari turns to him with a smile: "Yes, babe?"
"Would you still love me if I were a girl?" Hitoshi asks.
The room is silent. Kaminari's small smile falls and he turns confused.
"...I-you- come again?" Kaminari looks bewildered.
"Would you still love me if I were a girl?" Hitoshi repeats, fighting back a laugh at Kaminari's expression.
Taking in the question, Kaminari's face slowly turns into a deadpan, his hands sliding off the desk and landing on his lap as he stares at Hitoshi as if he said the most boring bit of news known to man kind.
Hitoshi lets out a small laugh: "What?"
Kaminari doesn't answer. He simply stands from the desk and walks out of the room after taking his wallet with him, leaving Hitoshi laughing quietly in confusion.
Hitoshi turns to the camera and says in a whisper in case Kaminari was just standing outside the door.
"I have no idea why he just walked out." He glances at the closed door: "I'll wait and see what he's planning. Oh my God." Remembering Kaminari's face, he laughs again.
Hitoshi, after composing himself, pauses the video and turns to his homework. He solves whatever he has and leaves notes for Kaminari as he waits for said pikachu to come back.
He does start getting worried, but a few minutes after that worry appears; footsteps could be heard heading to Kaminari's room. And Hitoshi quickly starts the video again, turning it to face the door, and waits for him to come through the door.
The door flies open to reveal Kaminari. In pink sunglasses. A huge Pan flag draped over his shoulders and tailing behind him on the floor. A headband with cat ears placed on his head. White shoes with rainbow laces. And to top it all off, he's holding a mug full of coffee.
Hitoshi lets out a sound of amused shock as Kaminari stops staring fabulously at the roof and turns to him face him so fast that Hitoshi's surprised he didn't get a whiplash.
"Are thy thee Hitoshi Shinsou that the peasants speak of?" Kaminari says.
Hitoshi lets out a wheeze instead of an answer, which Kaminari takes as a yes.
"Excellence! I am here to remind thy existence that you are eloping with a charming ruler named Denki Kaminari."
Hitoshi burries his face in his crossed arms on the desk, still wheezing, causing a smile to come on Kaminari's face. He loves it when Hitoshi laughs.
Kaminari continues: "You have proven guilty of offending the charming ruler with spiritual offense on his majesty's sexual pRefErAnNce."
At this point, Hitoshi is crying tears of laughter, lifting his head to look back at Kaminari.
"Now I shall, by the name of the pikachu court." Kaminari struts towards Hitoshi, not looking at him and not finishing the sentence for a few seconds.
Suddenly, he drops his accent, drops his gaze to Hitoshi, and finally answers:
"Hitoshi, baby, babe, honey, Mockingbird, the love of my life, my everything, my sleep deprived little shit."
Hitoshi tries to stifle his laughter so Kaminari can finish.
" I! Am! A! Pansexual disaster! Whether or not you have a penis or vagina or neither or both, I will give you my love and affection."
Kaminari holds a finger up as to tell Hitoshi not to say anything and takes a sip of the coffee to which he spits out on the floor in front of the desk before placing it over Hitoshi's book. He coughs before continuing:
"As a pansexual disaster, don't go around asking me if I would still love you if you were a girl instead. I fell in love with you and you only bich, so shut up, help me solve our homework so we can remain High School Sweethearts, and never doubt my love for you again beb."
And with that, he pulls the glasses of his face and yeets them onto the bed, takes off the flag and drapes it beautifully over his chair, leaves the shoes on, the cat ears are placed on Hitoshi's head, and he gestures to the cup of coffee before saying:
"That's yours, drink it or throw it in the sink."
After a few seconds of silence, Hitoshi bursts into laughter and wheezes. Kaminari smiles at him as he looks down back at his essay. Hitoshi's head lands on Kaminari's shoulder which causes him to laugh as well reducing the both of them to a mini pile of giggles.
"B-babe!" Hitoshi tries to speak, glancing at the phone: "I- I was trying to-oh my God." He wheezes.
Kaminari throws his head back at Hitoshi's attempts to utter a sentence.
"Baby...!" Hitoshi reaches for the phone and brings it to Kaminari's gaze which causes him to laugh in shock.
"Toshi you- bitch! You were filming?! Was that a dare?!"
"No!" Hitoshi laughs, the camera shaking.
"Oh my God." Kaminari buries his face in his hands, amused though: "You got me to buy pansexual disaster iconic shit for this."
Hitoshi composes himself and neither say anything before he breaks the silence: "...W-wait, where's your wallet?"
"SHIT!" Kaminari jumps off his chair, tripping as he runs out the door of his dorm: "I FORGOT THAT LEATHER MAN POUCH AT THE MARKART!"
And thus, Hitoshi goes back to laughing and wheezing, somehow able to end the video a couple of seconds after.
When Hitoshi sends that video to the Class 1-A Groupchat, it's no surprise that Bakugou Kastuki answers first:
KingExplosionMurder: 'Dumbass'
KingExplosionMuder: 'Literal fucking dumbass'
SleepDeprivedAndCaffeinated: 'He's my dumbass <3'
KingExplosionMurder: 'Fuck off'