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The wedding was very small. The only people there were Erwin's parents and ten of their closest friends. White suits, hair styled and combed in a way that Levi thought looked stupid. Hidden heels, an uneven platform.
He was with Evelyn on one side of the room, waiting for the cue to leave. They'd decided that they didn't want to decide who should be walking down the aisle, so instead they would be entering from either side of the platform at the same time, both accompanied by one of Erwin's parents. Evelyn had insisted on walking Levi for reasons she never gave.
"Are you ready?"
"I guess."
"Excited?"
Levi thought for a moment before shaking his head.
"A little scared."
Then he messed with the combed style until his hair felt normal again.
"A bit better now though."
The woman laughed and reached up to tuck any stray strands back into place. They were normally eye level with each other, but the heels gave him a slight boost.
"You'll be fine Levi. Everyone here loves you."
Evelyn was going to legally be his step-mother soon. She'd basically been his mother for over 30 years, but he still struggled with saying it, calling her 'mom'. She'd never seemed to mind before but maybe something had changed? He needed to try, at least.
" Thank you."
Well, there was a first time for everything.
"Mm… Mmm--"
He could feel his face scrunch up with the effort, and he was starting to get frustrated when she laughed again.
"I'm fine with just being Evelyn, Levi. I'm just glad you stopped calling me ma'am."
"But--"
The music started and she quickly shushed him, looping her arm in Levi's and offering him a smile.
"We can talk about it later." was the last thing she said to him before they walked out.
Levi had always been praised for his photographic memory. He could remember the exact date and time of something minute from when he was 8, along with the details of everything around him in that moment. But Levi felt that he could never remember the important things.
He remembered the date and exactly what happened when he and Erwin first met, but when he tried to think back on the first time Erwin said 'I love you', his mind turned up blank. Even now he could remember the way the bone - his mother's bone - felt, and where it had chipped, but five minutes later the only thing he remembered about his own wedding was how strange it was to be at eye level with Erwin's chin rather than his collarbone.
Now they were sitting at the one table listening to James talk about how close the two had been since childhood, and Levi noticed the man's voice had cracked. He toasted to them soon after, and Levi watched James dab at his eyes after everyone started eating.
"Are you still with us Levi?" came from Erwin, and he only then noticed that he'd been staring at the table.
"Not really. I'm gonna go change out of these shoes."
"Were they too tight after all?"
"A little bit. It's more just that they're strange to walk in."
With that Levi stood, making a beeline for the exit and the car.
Three inch heels and a step on the platform. He hated the accommodations they'd needed but he was also fairly sure he would've hated being lifted by Erwin for the kiss more.
Staring at the silver wedding band on his finger for a moment after pulling on the normal shoes, Levi went back.
The first dance. He couldn't remember the music that was playing, only that it must've been something energetic since at some point Erwin picked him up, spun him, and then proceeded to kiss him in front of everyone again.
Levi didn't really mind being picked up by him in all honesty, he even kind of liked it. It was just a thing of pride that kept him from letting Erwin do it often. This time however he didn't even know how to react at first.
Erwin looked amazing. They looked free. His hair was a mess and their face was flushed but the way he was smiling, it just made everything seem beautiful and fun.
So Levi laughed and kissed them right back. He didn't care if anyone saw him, it was just them in that moment.
Then all too quickly that moment was over, and Levi felt eyes on them once again.
It made sense, it was the first dance after after all.
It still bothered him regardless.
"Feeling any better now?"
At the hotel room, Erwin gently carded his fingers through Levi's hair while the other sat on the edge of the bed.
"Yeah. Still drained."
A kiss on his jaw. It brushed against the slightest bit of stubble.
"It would've been worse if there were more people though."
Arms wrapped around him. Erwin was warm, the perfect temperature to fall asleep against. It was almost torture not to do so after all of the events of the day.
"I know there were more people you would've wanted there. I… probably could've handled it too. Sorry."
"You really are exhausted if you're apologizing."
"Shut up asshole."
Erwin laughed - softly - and kissed the top of his head. Always gentle. He took a deep breath, inhaling what he expected to be the scent of sandalwood but was instead something like roses and champagne.
"Go take a shower."
"What, do I smell bad?"
"You don't smell. That's the problem."
Erwin pulled back and stared at him, clearly confused as Levi huffed.
"Words are hard right now. You don't smell like normal-- your soap."
Understanding finally seemed to dawn on the man, and he got off the bed.
"Do you think you're just gonna sleep after this?"
"I don't think I'm going to skip out on the consummation if that's what you're asking."
Erwin looked back at him with a smile. "It's our wedding night, y'know. We don't have to if y--"
"Let me rephrase: I want to do the consumption-- fuck-- consummation thing."
"Oh."
The blonde undid his jacket as he walked.
"Everything's in my bag, then. In the inside pocket."
Levi nodded and got off the bed himself once Erwin went into the bathroom, glad to be rid of the flowery scent - it gave him a headache.
They didn't have penetrative sex often. It was a hassle for both of them due to a wide variety of issues but the most prominent one was that their size difference called for a lot of preparation, and it was difficult to set aside an hour or more for just preparation alone. Time and lube had become a valuable resource.
He'd set everything up by the time Erwin got out of the shower, the man walking out completely naked.
"You could at least put on some underwear."
"Won't they be off soon anyway?"
He scoffed as the man came closer, lightly tugging at Levi's tie.
"Would you have preferred it if I'd stripped beforehand?"
"I would've been disappointed."
The tie was undone, set aside as Erwin kissed his cheek.
"I love revealing you slowly."
A kiss down his jawline after the jacket was shrugged off.
"You're into the weirdest things Erwin."
A kiss on his neck for every button the man carefully undid. "I'm just attracted to the smaller things in life."
"Oh fuck off."
Erwin laughed as he finished unbuttoning Levi's shirt, turning their kisses down the man's chest as Levi pulled the shirt off unceremoniously.
"Do I smell normal now?"
Another deep breath as Erwin leaned on their prosthetic, watching Levi eagerly. Sandalwood.
"Yeah. You're normal again."
"Good. I don't know what I would've done otherwise."
Erwin laughed again as they ran their hand down Levi's legs, pulling back up only to start working on the belt.
"Do you remember the first time we did this?"
"Don't remind me."
The belt was undone and pulled off, leaving Erwin free to toy with the button and zipper on his pants.
"I'm still embarrassed about it sometimes."
"On the bright side, we have matching scars."
The blonde had been in the process of pulling Levi's pants and briefs down when that was said, causing the man to choke for a second before he started laughing loudly enough to make Levi momentarily regret saying anything.
"Do you ever realize how much of a gift you are?"
"Don't get sappy now."
"I reserve the right to be sappy on our wedding night."
It was Levi's turn to snicker a bit before lifting Erwin's head up, cradling either side in his hands.
"I love you."
The only way he could think to describe Erwin's expression was confusion, the man's eyes wide and mouth agape as his face quickly began to flush red. Levi scoffed and let them go.
"Sheesh, it's not that weird for me to say is it?"
"Could you say it again?"
Levi's pants were at his thighs and Erwin was staring at him. What a weird situation.
"I love you."
Erwin leaned in closer. "Again."
It was his turn to blush. "... I love you."
The blonde kissed him this time. "Say it again."
"You're making it weird now."
"Please? Just one more time."
Levi sighed and looked away, cheeks still dusted red as Erwin watched him. "I love you."
Another kiss before the blonde fully removed the rest of Levi's clothing, the stupidest little grin stuck on their face.
"I love you too."
Erwin smiled and let his kisses begin to travel down Levi's body again, trailing down his stomach and into his thighs until the blonde was holding Levi's legs up on his shoulders, staring quietly at something between them.
"Will you be dining tonight sir?"
Levi was muttering to himself, but apparently it was loud enough for Erwin to hear, as they snorted.
"Is this seriously what goes through your head when we do this?"
"This isn't what goes through yours?"
"I wish. Sex would be a lot more entertaining if you shared your thoughts more."
Levi snickered slightly and shook his head. "I'm pretty sure we wouldn't actually get to have sex if I shared what was on my mind."
"You should do it anyway. I like hearing you talk."
Levi could feel the heat on his body, and lifted his head to glance at Erwin.
"Your mouth is a little too close to my ass for you to be trying to have a conversation right now."
The blonde laughed again, and finally - finally - started to press his tongue against Levi's hole. He leaned back against the pillows, sighing contentedly as he closed his eyes - it was too easy for him to start focusing on the patterns in the wallpaper or ceiling if he gave himself the opportunity to do so, and if he got distracted they'd be there for even longer. Not that Erwin would mind most likely, but it was irritating for Levi.
It didn't take long for his simple comfort to morph into pleasure - Erwin had years of practice in making him feel good, and they certainly didn't seem to be pulling any punches then - and the man finally let out a soft groan when Erwin swirled his tongue at a mind-bogglingly slow pace.
"Did you like that?" Came from between his legs, and Levi had to resist the urge to tell them to stop talking.
"You already know the answer. Keep going."
He felt eyes still on him, and Levi felt his face warm a little as he huffed.
"... Please."
Erwin chuckled, and started to lick at him again.
Fingering was something that always took a long time. He must've dozed off at some point, or spaced out because Erwin was lightly touching his shoulder. A little disoriented, Levi blinked.
"Are you about to do the sex thing?"
"Do you still want to?"
"Yeah."
"Then we're absolutely about to do the sex thing."
Levi snorted as he flipped over onto his stomach, folding his arms against one of the pillows and getting onto his knees.
He always felt vulnerable in the last few moments before they actually started, like Erwin would suddenly reject his entire existence at any time. Maybe it was because he couldn't see their expression. It wasn't like Levi ever really looked at it anyway, but normally at least it was still there for him to be able to check.
He felt his legs being spread a bit wider, followed by a hand on his ass.
"You have a really nice butt Levi."
"I'm honored."
Erwin removed his hand for a moment - presumably to add more lube onto his own length - before continuing to idly squeeze and jiggle his ass. It wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't great either.
"You know, I'm pretty sure you're the one who actually does the sex thing."
"Aw, Levi, you're not a sex thing."
"My ass , dipshit."
He felt cool metal clenched against his hip.
"Are you actually gonna remember to take it off this time?"
"You can just remind me, right?"
"Do you realize how impossible it is to wake you up after sex? You could just take it off now."
"Are you sure you could wait?"
He felt the tip against him. "I'm not impatiently horny like you are."
"Really now?"
A little bit of pressure. What the fuck kind of game were they trying to play? "Yeah. I don't really care one way or another."
"I see…"
After a pause, Erwin pushed the tip in - slower than anything in the goddamn world - and Levi inhaled sharply.
"How about now? Still don't care?"
His face felt warm. "Fuck off."
"You have such a way with words my love."
Once the tip was through the rest of the process was comparatively quick, and Erwin was just waiting on him. Part of him wondered why the blonde wanted to keep the prosthetic on, he always complained about it being cold, and why risk falling asleep with it on when apparently it was painful waking up?
"Just take it off Erwin."
He'd been mumbling to himself, but Erwin ran his fingers down Levi's spine.
"It's… a little too late now though, isn't it?"
"Pull out and do it then. I'll wait."
Erwin didn't move. He couldn't see it, but Levi could practically feel the puppy eyes that were almost definitely behind him.
"Is there some reason you don't want to take it off?"
"I thought… maybe you'd like it."
"What I'd like is for you to be comfortable."
Levi huffed.
"Besides, that thing is cold for me too."
That seemed to be enough for Erwin to finally submit, as they carefully pulled back out and removed the prosthetic. Levi heard it get put on the table, and smiled a bit when Erwin held his hip again.
"Would you think of me differently if I said that I'd been dreaming about this part of our wedding all day today?"
"I might divorce you."
Erwin laughed as he carefully re-entered the other, returning to that state of waiting a little bit sooner that time.
"You're really handsome Levi."
"Come on, don't start with that."
"I'm serious."
They'd started to move, carefully pulling back some only to push forward again as he aimed deeper.
"Sometimes I look at you and all I can see are stars. A galaxy."
Erwin laughed behind him. That wasn't a good sign.
"You could even say you have a celestial body."
"Alright, get your dick out of me, I'm done here."
The blonde was laughing even more as he continued to steadily thrust, they were probably thriving off the fact that Levi was finding it harder to form sentences.
"How long were you waiting to use that?"
"A couple years."
"God, I hate you."
"You do?"
The tone in his voice was playful. Also not a good sign. Sure enough, Erwin slowed to a near crawl as he caressed Levi's ass again.
"I'm hurt."
Levi could feel the strain in his throat even before he opened his mouth, and as expected it snatched away most of the bite behind his words as his voice cracked. "Suffer then."
Erwin went still. He hated the stillness more than anything in the world but he knew that the blonde would move again with just a few words. They were just words that he didn't want to say.
"Mm, I think I might cry…"
Bastard. They were planning on making him say it.
"Erwin…"
He felt stubborn that night, but he wasn't sure he could keep up with that kind of game after the events of the day.
"I'm not up for this tonight."
"Okay."
A kiss against his hair, and then they started to move again. Levi felt himself leaning into each thrust with another restrained groan, and Erwin chuckled.
"Oh? Did you like that?"
"Fuck you."
"I think you're a little confused."
The grip on his waist tightened slightly as Erwin resumed at a faster pace, causing the other to groan.
" I'm fucking you right now."
His thoughts were blurring on the edges again, the same way they always did when Erwin didn't want to give him a chance to make a comeback. Always sensitive to their speed. He wasn't even being rough - not that Erwin ever would be, they'd learned that lesson the hard way long ago - it was just something as simple as pacing that made Levi crumble every time, and he hated it.
"... Dumbass."
It was squeezed between a shuddering sigh and a gasp that made the blonde slow down again.
"You alright Levi?"
"Of course."
They both knew he was fine. Erwin just seemed to be stretching out their time together as much as he could for some reason.
"You look so amazing… how could anyone not fall in love with you?"
He used to know the answer to that. He'd known it for years; he was a freak. Now though, he didn't know anymore. Had it always been autism that made him feel the way he did about himself? Was it the 'deeply rooted trauma' the psychologist had mentioned several times in his neuropsychological analysis? Was it other people? Shit, he was getting distracted again.
"Gorgeous."
"Stop talking." It came out as more of a squeak than a demand; he was getting close despite himself.
"Are you sure? I'm happy to oblige if you really want me to my love."
Another increase in speed from the pace they had set before; Erwin must've picked up on it. It made sense that they would, but it was still annoying.
"But I'm not so sure that's what you really want."
"Shut up--"
All the bite was gone from his voice as he felt his legs begin to sink down, unable to reliably hold him up anymore.
That is, until Erwin reached under him. His mind spun when the man lifted him back somewhat, and then went completely empty as Erwin cupped his member.
"You're so lovely Levi… I wanna hear you more."
A strangled cry escaped as Erwin pressed against him, stroking and kissing and generally being a fucking bastard as Levi felt the tension in his gut growing more and more.
"Fucking-- jackass--"
"Am I overwhelming you?"
Coherent thoughts were a thing of the past and so was any chance of him speaking clearly as every second made it harder to even breathe, face buried in the same pillows that he was digging his nails into with every ounce of strength he had left. He could feel a building burn and push and tightness all throughout his body and yet that was where it stayed, right on the brink but unable to go over.
There was a particularly hot breath chanced against the back of his neck and suddenly Levi was gone, his release sudden and short and over within a gasp. If Erwin hadn't been supporting him still the man was certain he would've collapsed onto the bed in a heap, all the tension and strain that had been keeping him up gone from his body.
Erwin never came during sex. They could never get enough stimulation no matter who it was with, and Levi was no exception. Levi had always been more bothered by it than he was.
This was the only explanation he could think of to explain why such an immense sense of guilt washed over him as Erwin pulled out and lowered him onto the bed. He ruminated in the feeling while Erwin made their way to the bathroom.
"I'm sorry."
The man looked over from cleaning off his hand. "For what?"
"You shouldn't have to jack off on your wedding night."
The water turned off, and soon Erwin was sitting on the edge of the bed beside him with a small smile.
"Well my offer still stands."
"What offer?"
"Well, it's not easy jerking off with your nondominant hand."
Levi stared blankly at them for a minute before he recalled the summer Erwin lost his arm.
"It's been twenty goddamn years since then you horny bastard!"
He was laughing. The grin on Erwin's face said that they felt no shame at all over it. In some ways he'd never changed. Levi sighed, and pulled Erwin down to kiss him.
"Just this once."