Chapter Text
Lt. Carol Ross was exhausted. Bone weary, dog tired when she collapsed into her bed. She had stripped to her underwear, brushed her teeth and crawled under the covers just before she gave in to the sleep she had been craving for the last twenty-four hours. Then why was she awake now with Pippa, the family hamster, tapping away on her shoulder whispering, “are you awake”? She opened the one bloodshot eye that wasn’t scrunched into her pillow to realize she had been dreaming. She was looking into a pair of the most beautiful big brown eyes surrounded by long thick lashes. For a second her heart warmed thinking how lovely it was to be awakened by Maggie but then she quickly remembered her wife was still gone and she was looking into the face of their five year old son. Randy was earnestly trying wake her in a way that wouldn’t get him in trouble with his G Pop. If he was really quiet and just barely touched her and she woke up anyway then that was okay, right? Carol uncurled her body and stretched her arms out to take in her son. She spooned around him breathing in his deliciousness.
“Are you working on a case, mommy? G Pop said that was why you couldn’t take me to Henry’s birthday party.”
Randy had no idea what ‘working on a case’ meant. He just knew this was what his mother did like his friend Henry’s dad did taxes. He knew she was a policewoman but since she didn’t wear a uniform or drive a car that had lights on top or had a siren, he wasn’t clear on exactly what she did. She didn’t even have a gun.
“Yes, sweet pea, I’m working on a case.”
“I’m not a sweet pea!” Randy said indignantly.
“Well, then are you a rutabaga or a zucchini or a spaghetti squash?” Carol teased as she tickled her son in his ribs. Randy squirmed and squealed in delight.
“Are you going to work on your case today?”
Carol’s heart clenched when she heard the caution in her little boy’s voice. He knew enough to understand that work pulled her away for long stretches of time. She had tried to explain in language he could understand that sometimes people were very sad and she needed to help them. He broke her heart the day he asked if she would help him if he was ever sad.
“I will stop everything I am doing to help you if you’re ever sad. Okay?”
He had looked at her with serious eyes and nodded yes.
“Sometimes I’m sad I don’t have my other mommy.”
Carol tried to not let her own pain interfere with listening to her son.
“I’m sad too. We just have to hang on to what we do have. You have me and I have you and we both have G Pop. That’s pretty good don’t you think?”
Randy had solemnly nodded in agreement.
Carol came back to the present and said, “Now then, I think I smell pancakes! Let’s go see what G Pop is cooking up for us. Maybe he’s put chocolate chips in them!”
Randy jumped out of bed and ran toward the kitchen yelling “chocolate chips! chocolate chips!” Carol thought how nice it would be if it only took chocolate chips to soothe her aching heart. She couldn’t let herself go down that path today. She had a murder to solve.
Pop heard the telltale sounds of Randy’s ‘quiet’ version of waking his mother. Chuckling to himself he walked to the stairs and hollered up,
“Do you want coffee before you shower?”
“Be down in a minute. Make it extra strong today.”
Carol changed into shorts and a tee shirt. She had time to enjoy breakfast with her family before heading into work. Her list of to-dos wouldn’t start until later this morning. Pop looked up and smiled at his daughter when she came into the kitchen. She had the look she always got when she had been assigned a murder to solve. A little drawn around the eyes. Lips a bit tight. But always his beautiful girl. He poured her coffee and brought it to the table.
“Coming in hot,” he smiled.
“Mmmm” she hummed. “What would I ever do without you?”
He smiled and kissed the top of her head.
“G Pop, what about the chocolate chips and pancakes?”
“I’m on it. I’m on it. Come help me stir the mix. I’m not sure exactly how many chips to add.”
“Lots and lots,” Randy said with a chocolate lover’s conviction.
Carol smiled into her cup. She knew she was blessed. Her Pop had moved in to help when Maggie died a year ago. There was no way she could keep her job if he hadn’t. She refused to pass Randy around to daycare and friends while she worked sporadically long, odd hours. He needed a stable routine he could count on and Pop had provided that. But it wasn’t just stability for Randy. Carol needed him too. Her devastation was crushing when Maggie died so quickly after her diagnosis.
The little family that was surviving enjoyed their pancakes while Randy filled Carol in on all the excitement of Henry’s birthday party he could barely contain. Listening to Randy stuttering and stammering with just so much to tell was definitely going to be the best part of her day. Sometimes she thought her heart couldn’t hold all the love she felt for this little boy she and Maggie had brought into their lives.
Carol showered and dressed for work. “Okay, who’s going to send me out with the best kisses and hugs in the whole wide world?”
“I am, I am!” Randy ran toward Carol and jumped into her arms. He wrapped his legs round her waist and his arms around her neck. She squeezed him tight and peppered his face with kisses. His giggles were exactly what she needed to take with her as she left.
Carol opened her car trunk and took her gun out of the locked box. She put it in her holster, attached her badge to her jacket lapel and headed into work to help sad parents find out what had happened to their daughter.