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“Remind me again, how did we find ourselves in this situation?” Lucifer inquired with a frown, genuinely confused.
“I don’t know, man. It’s all a blur now.” Dan answered with a shake of his head.
“Couldn’t we just… leave?” The devil suggested.
“I wouldn’t. She can be terrifying if she wants to be. Especially after learning all that crap from Maze. And it’s way worse if she gives you those puppy-dog eyes…Way worse.” Dan shuddered at the gut wrenching thought.
“…Right.” Lucifer said, not quite believing their current predicament.
Him and Daniel were currently in the Detective’s living room, huddled under a sheet that was suspended in the air by four chairs. Two of which they faced out of like prison bars.
The devious little urchin skulked around outside the enclosure, waving the bat Mazikeen had given her and pretended to be a prison guard.
Somehow, she had managed to coax them both into playing along with her childish charade, and here they were.
“How long before she bores of this? I can name a million things that are more enjoyable than being trapped at the mercy of a pre-teen on a power trip.” Lucifer asked irritably.
Dan shrugged his shoulders, accidentally bumping into Lucifer in the small space. “I don’t know, probably until Chloe gets home.”
Lucifer gave an exasperated sigh and pulled the flask from his breast pocket. “Un-bloody-believable.”
“Should you really be drinking that with Trixie around? You know that Chloe doesn’t like that kinda thing.” Dan said with raised eyebrows.
“Keep your trap shut around the Detective, and I’ll share.” Lucifer offered.
Dan took one glance at their surroundings, and nodded. “You have yourself a deal.”
Lucifer took a long sip before handing the flask off to Daniel.
“You better not be conspiring to escape in there!” Trixie said with a threatening glare that reminded them so much of her mother.
Lucifer rolled his eyes and sighed. “I wouldn’t dream of it, urchin.”
“That’s Officer Espinoza to you, criminal!” Trixie snarled. Now she reminded them of Maze.
Lucifer scoffed. “Bloody hell…”
Dan chuckled and handed the flask back to Lucifer. Trixie crossed her arms and glared at her father. “Something funny, thief?”
Dan got into character by squinting one eye and screwing up his face. “Arghh, just yer personality, Officer Espinoza. Argh.”
Lucifer looked at Daniel with an expression between confusion, disgust, and bewilderment. “Are you experiencing a stroke, Daniel? Or has the additives from the puddings finally impaired your brain?”
Dan snorted with a light shake of his head. He spoke softly as to not let Trixie hear. “I’m just enjoying this part of her life while I can. She won’t be a little kid who likes to play pretend forever. And I’ve already missed out on too much.” Dan felt immense regret for the last part, realizing that he would never get that time back.
Lucifer scoffed. “Personally I cannot wait for when she’s deemed old enough by LA’s laws to drink and accompany me to strip clubs.”
The smile wiped itself off Dan’s face and his eyes narrowed. “You are not taking my daughter to strip clubs.”
“Don’t fret. She would only be in the audience, not the stage. Perfectly acceptable.” Lucifer said, as if this made it better.
Dan wanted to chew Lucifer out for having these ridiculous ideas, but he held himself back. Choose your battles. And when it came to Lucifer Morningstar, there were a LOT of battles to choose from.
And besides, Chloe would never allow the devil to take their daughter to strip clubs, orgies, or whatever else he enjoyed doing.
Dan looked at Lucifer. Really LOOKED. This was the closest he had been to the man since finding out about everything, and it was a little unsettling.
He had become somewhat comfortable with Lucifer again, but that still didn’t ease all his worries. All his fears. All his insecurities.
“What’s it like?” Dan asked out of the blue.
Lucifer knitted his brow at the vague question. “What’s what like?”
Dan took a minute to phrase his question. “I mean, I don’t know… What’s it like being so… significant, in the grand scheme of things. What’s it like to never question your role in the universe?”
Lucifer laughed and eyed Dan with amusement. “Daniel, do you not know me at all?”
At Dan’s blank stare, Lucifer continued. “Of course I question my role in the universe. Why do you think I have a therapist?”
Dan mulled that over, and then breathed out a laugh. “Of course you question your role in the universe, identity crises are your thing.”
Lucifer frowned. “I wouldn’t quite go that far. More like I enjoy trying on different hats and seeing which fit the best.”
Dan ‘Hmm’ed’ like he didn’t quite believe him. Lucifer huffed and took a swig from the flask before handing it back to Daniel. Dan took a drink of the expensive liquor, and stared into space.
“It must be nice.” Dan mused softly. “To not know what it’s like to feel insignificant.”
Lucifer frowned, trying to figure out how the conversation had changed so drastically. Ordinarily, Lucifer would just scoff at Daniel’s words and move on. But Doctor Linda had recently been encouraging him to be more thoughtful and empathetic towards others. Especially others dealing with the emotional crisis that came with newfound knowledge of divinity.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Daniel.” Lucifer said uncomfortably, already regretting this decision. “How do you think it felt to be ignored by my own father for millennia? Or when he cast me out? It didn’t exactly make him dad of the year in my eyes.”
Lucifer was now staring out the chair bars and away from Daniel’s prying eyes. For the briefest moment, Lucifer saw the iron bars of the gates of Hell. The bars that burned his hands to nothing if he held on too long. The bars that had kept him trapped there for years before his wings healed enough to fly above them.
And as soon as that image passed by his eyes, it was gone. But he would never forget those first few agonizing years after the rebellion, when he couldn’t even make his devil face leave.
“I don’t think that would make him dad of the year in anyone’s eyes.” Dan admitted, slightly surprising the devil.
“You’d assume so. But I seem to be the only one of my siblings who feels this way. Even Amenadiel, after all the horseshit Dad’s put him through, has welcomed the bastard in with arms wide open.” Bitterness filled Lucifer’s voice to the brim. He would never fully admit out loud just how much of a betrayal it had felt like when Amenadiel forgave their father for every little wrongdoing without even a second thought.
“Maybe it’s because he’s never hurt them as much as he’s hurt you.” Dan suggested.
Lucifer was quiet for several moments, contemplating this. “You are not insignificant, you do know that, don’t you?” Lucifer asked, not wanting to delve too deep into his daddy issues.
“Aren’t I though? In the grand scheme of things?”
Lucifer scoffed and rolled his eyes. “‘The Grand Scheme of Things’ is much too overrated. Much like Dad’s ‘Grand Plan’. At the end of the day, no one really cares about the grand scheme. I doubt that there even is one.”
“Really?” Dan asked in surprise.
Lucifer nodded. “Yes. Everyone makes their own choices, whether for good, evil, or something boring, and that’s that. And even if there is a grand scheme that you are not apart of, that doesn’t make you insignificant.”
Lucifer pointed a thumb in the general direction of the urchin. “You are certainly not insignificant in Beatrise’s eyes. Or the Detective’s. Or Miss Lopez. Or Amenadiel, though I’m not sure why. Even Mazikeen holds you in high regard, even if she will willingly go to a thousand baby showers before admitting it.”
Dan laughed at the last part. “And I’m not insignificant to you?”
Lucifer raised an eyebrow and quirked one side of his lip up. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Detective Douche.” He teased, but with no trace of venom.
“You are no less significant than you were before becoming a… What does the Doctor call it…? A celestial insider.” Lucifer finished.
Dan gave him a genuine smile for the first time in what felt like weeks. “Thanks, man. That means a lot coming from you. I really appreciate it.”
Lucifer nodded and wore a cheeky smirk. “Of course. My, I could probably one up the Doctor with my infinite wisdom.”
Dan rolled his eyes and elbowed the devil. Dan had never had many true friends in his life. And even with how frustrating, complicated, and upside-down their friendship was, Dan was glad to have Lucifer in his life.
Though he would happily go to those baby showers with Maze before ever admitting it.
“Also, your pirate impression needs work. It was just horrendous.”
“Hey! I thought it was pretty good.” Dan defended.
Lucifer grimaced. “Daniel, I’ve known people such as Francis Drake, Zheng Zhilong, and many others. Pirates do not sound like that.”
“Wait, really?” Dan said, surprised by hearing such big names. “What was that like?”
As Lucifer talked about personally knowing people that are only known now in history books, Trixie listened from outside the makeshift prison with a huge smile, prison guard persona long forgotten.
She loved it when her dad and step-devil got along.